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Imagine that you're talking with
a friend and sharing that you've

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had a really, really tough day. 
You're opening up about how 

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overwhelmed and sad you feel, 
and they respond with just look 

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on the bright side. 
Or it could be worse. 

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Now they probably mean well, but
how does that response make you 

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feel? 
It might leave you feeling 

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dismissed or like your emotions 
aren't valid. 

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This is what we call toxic 
positivity. 

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While positivity can be and is a
powerful tool for resilience, 

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there's a line where it becomes 
harmful. 

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Today, we're exploring that line
in the potential dangers of 

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toxic positivity, how it can 
silence our feelings, harm our 

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relationships, and even stall 
our mental health growth. 

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But don't worry, we'll also talk
about how to strike a healthy 

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balance, where positivity lifts 
us up instead of tearing us 

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down. 
My name is Ethan Jewell and 

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welcome back to Feel Your 
Feelings. 

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Before we start, I want to 
remind you I'm not a doctor. 

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I'm not a professional in the 
mental health industry. 

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I'm just a guy with some big, 
big feelings who has talked to a

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lot of other people with big 
feelings. 

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And I just want to start the 
conversation on mental health 

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awareness. 
So thank you so much for being 

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here. 
Let's start with the basics. 

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Toxic positivity is the belief 
that we should focus on positive

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emotions and reject or suppress 
anything negative, no matter the

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circumstances. 
Think of slogans like good vibes

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only or advice like just be 
happy. 

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On the surface, it seems 
harmless, even encouraging. 

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But here's the thing. 
It creates a culture or idea 

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where sadness, fear, and 
frustration are treated as bad 

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or wrong. 
The thing is, all emotions, 

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positive or negative, do serve a
purpose. 

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They're signals, like Rd. signs,
guiding us through life. 

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By dismissing negative emotions,
toxic positivity teaches us to 

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ignore those signals. 
And when we ignore our feelings,

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we lose the opportunity to 
process them, understand them, 

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and ultimately grow from them. 
Sometimes these signals are 

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telling us when something is 
wrong. 

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Maybe when we're being treated 
poorly. 

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Maybe when we're treating 
ourselves poorly. 

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They can sometimes be a sign of 
the fact that we need to look 

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inward and maybe do some more 
work. 

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They can help us grow in this 
way by understanding that side 

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of us. 
Losing this opportunity to grow 

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can become incredibly harmful. 
When we hear this motto of just 

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smile, get outside more, talk to
others and you'll be happy, it 

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dismisses the real devastating 
impacts of mental illness. 

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Someone fighting with depression
cannot just smile. 

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It's almost impossible to just 
get outside more. 

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There's literally an imbalance 
within their brain chemistry. 

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Their brain is attacking them 
and this toxic positivity is an 

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impossible remedy. 
When someone who is struggling 

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with depression is faced with 
this advice and it then doesn't 

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work, they may begin to question
what's so wrong with them. 

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Shame sets in as they wonder if 
everyone else can be happy off 

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of this advice. 
Why can't I be? 

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This is so isolating within a 
mental illness already plagued 

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with isolation. 
We then may bottle up our 

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emotions, which of course can 
lead to further harm and 

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isolation. 
Studies show that bottle up 

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emotions lead to more mental 
harm like increased anxiety, 

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stress, depression and other 
mental illness related feelings.

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But what a lot of people don't 
know is it can also lead to 

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physical harm. 
The chronic stress from having 

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all of these emotions pent up 
inside can literally increase 

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your risk of cardiovascular 
disease. 

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Like this is serious stuff. 
So this toxic positivity is not 

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so harmless after all. 
Telling depressed people to just

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be happy, to just smile, is not 
helpful advice. 

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It can lead someone to feeling 
abnormal and isolated. 

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Also, at the root of it, 
negative emotions are teachers. 

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We need to experience them to 
learn more about ourselves and 

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grow these emotions once again. 
They tell us what's not working 

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in our lives. 
They warn us of toxic 

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relationships with others. 
They can be regulators and 

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warning signs. 
Denying that part of you is like

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denying a red light telling you 
to stop and slow down. 

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Now, after all of that, I want 
to make something very, very 

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clear to you. 
Positivity is not a bad thing at

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its core, Quite the opposite. 
I know I've spent this whole 

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episode seemingly ragging on it,
but in reality, positivity is 

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amazing. 
When done correctly, positivity 

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can help your mindset 
day-to-day. 

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It can boost dopamine when 
approaching problems from a 

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positive mindset. 
It can inspire and encourage 

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you. 
It can help you lead a more 

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optimistic life. 
But it's just important to know 

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the difference between using 
positivity as a tool to inspire 

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growth versus using it as a mask
to cover up pain. 

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The key to walking that line is 
timing and intention. 

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Is your intent to force away 
what you're feeling with the 

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positivity or to encourage 
yourself? 

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Are you making yourself feel 
guilty for not being positive? 

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Or are you acknowledging that 
some days are just too hard to 

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adopt that optimistic mindset? 
Positivity works best when it's 

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paired with empathy and 
understanding. 

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For example, instead of saying 
just be happy to yourself, you 

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might say I know this is hard 
and I believe I'll get through 

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it. 
The intention and the way in 

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which we phrase our self talk is
so important. 

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Talking to others in this way is
also important. 

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So we should all practice 
emotional validation. 

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When you or someone else is 
experiencing negative emotions, 

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take a moment to acknowledge 
them. 

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Instead of saying to yourself or
to someone else don't feel that 

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way, try saying it's OK to feel 
this, let's talk about it. 

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Give yourself permission to 
feel. 

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Have a bad day, sit with those 
feelings, wallow with them for a

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bit, and then give yourself a 
helping hand of positivity. 

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Know that it will work out and 
these feelings are temporary and

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they will pass. 
It takes time to shift your 

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mindset and to be kinder to 
yourself and to practice helpful

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positivity. 
But if you take that time and 

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engage in kind, positive self 
talk instead of shaming yourself

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with toxic positivity, you will 
see a difference. 

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At its heart, positivity is a 
beautiful thing. 

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It can inspire us, keep us going
through tough times, remind us 

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of life's beauty. 
But when it's misused, when it's

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wielded as a way to dismiss or 
silence emotions, it can do more

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harm than good. 
So let's aim for a balanced 

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approach. 
Let's make room for sadness, 

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anger and fear alongside joy and
hope. 

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Because healing isn't about 
feeling good all the time. 

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It's about feeling everything 
and learning from it. 

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That's going to wrap it up for 
today's episode. 

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Thank you so much for joining 
me. 

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If you need help feeling your 
feelings, you should check out 

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my music on all platforms. 
Under the name of Ethan Jewell, 

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I make mental health spoken word
poetry that I think you might 

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find really impactful. 
Also, you should shoot me a 

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message on my Instagram at Jewel
Boy under score with an I and 

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let me know what you thought 
about today's episode. 

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So thank you so much for joining
me. 

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Thank you for helping me find 
the line between toxic and 

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helpful positivity. 
And as always, thank you for 

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feeling your feelings. 
I'll see you next time.