There's another video that on the Internet that's just going
viral at the moment of a little girl going down a slide, and
this man runs to catch the child as it falls off the slide and
catches it in the nick of time. I remember hearing Andrew Tate's
at one of his good friends saying this, and it still angers
me to this day. And he said, you know, I don't
cook any meals. I just laugh at the Uber driver
on his little bike pedaling, getting me some pizza, you know,
and I'm here making all this money.
And he's, you know, and I just give him my money and then take
my food. Maybe this is even a little
controversial. I do believe that if you can
learn some kind of martial art perhaps, or boxing, OK, If I put
a sheet of paper in front of you and I said, write a list of
names of the first alpha males that you think of, names that
people think are leaders, strong men in the world, who might you
put on that list? Well, when I asked the Internet
what it thought were these names, these are the names it
gave me. So for the previous generation,
the older generation, they said names like Clint Eastwood, John
Wayne, Steve McQueen, you remember him, the king of cool,
Sean Connery, James Bond. And then when I asked it, OK,
what are some names for this generation, who do you think was
the first name that came to mind?
Andrew Tate, then we had Conor McGregor, Dwayne Johnson, and
then Donald Trump actually is someone who would be seen as a
strong alpha male leader. Now that might be what the world
says is what a real man looks like, but what is the kind of
man that God is looking for? Well, before I show you 5
things, 5 qualities that every godly man should have.
First, if you've never joined us on this channel, this is my
coffee channel. And if you've not seen yet,
we've got these mugs in the Lord's grace.
We've just decided to make some of these, mainly for the reason
if this is sitting on your desk and you see off the curb, it's a
kind of reminder to pray for us. Or maybe it might be a
conversation opener where you could show a friend some of our
videos, particularly if they're an unbeliever or evangelistic
videos. And what we're doing now,
because I drink coffee on this channel every week, we're going
to put faces here of people who have bought the mugs.
So if you'd like to be on the video, just buy one of the mugs.
I'll send you an e-mail over and we'll put some faces here right
as I'm doing the coffee now. When I was growing up, I
remember quite distinctly there was quite a pressure on girls,
especially because there was models like supermodels like
Kate Moss. There was a shop called Topshop
that opened up and they'd have high fashion catwalk models that
were all really super skinny. And there was a real pressure on
girls to to be like that. And there still is a great
pressure on on young girls today to, to be like the Instagram
models that they see. But I'll tell you something.
I think the pressure, can I say this, you might not agree with
this, maybe this is even a little controversial, but I
think actually we've flipped places.
And I think the pressure now is on young men, men, the Gen.
ZS, you know, kids that are born in, you know, 2002 thousand and
five around that generation. I think there's a tremendous
pressure for them to be like an Andrew Tate or a Hamza or an
Alex Hormozi. And if you're watching this now
and you've never heard of these guys is all you need to know is
these are guys who are rich, they're strong, they're
charismatic, they get the girls. And that is what the world is
saying. You need to have a fast car, you
need to have a deep voice, you need to have lots of money, and
that will make you into a real man.
Now, some of these things that we've talked about, the finding
of themselves, if you've got a deep voice, I'm not criticizing
you. If you've got a nice car,
there's no problem in that. But what is it that God is
looking for and what is it that every Christian man should be
seeking to do to try and be as godly as possible?
So here are 5 qualities that I think God wants every single
Christian man to have in their life.
And guys, as I say this, please know you know me by now.
I'm not going to set myself up as some example because I'm
learning all of this too. And well, I will share some
personal things of where I've totally got this wrong in this
video. So number one, it's this.
I think a godly man needs to be quiet, needs to be calm.
One thing my wife will tell you is she hates it when I'm driving
in the car. And you know, my work, I work a
lot on my own. Literally just one day a week I
go out St. preaching and then the rest of the week I'm writing
messages, editing videos. It's quite a lonely job.
It's not as glamorous as it looks.
Being a Christian, YouTube, it can be pretty difficult work at
times and I'm on my own a lot and I'm get stressed and I get
worried and we'll get in the car and then as soon as the door
shuts, I'll tell Emma. So this has happened and what do
you think about this and what should I do about this?
And I'll just burden all of my worries, all of my concerns, and
I'll just throw them. I'll dump them on Emma and leave
them for her. Now isn't that a selfish thing
to do? Because the Bible tells us that
the woman is the weaker vessel. Yes, physically she's weaker,
but also in in a mindset, emotionally, she hasn't got the
same strength. We are made differently.
And again, I'm going to talk a bit a little bit about that
later, but we are made differently, aren't we?
And it's wrong for me to just pour out all of these things.
Now, I'm not saying never do this with your wife.
Never do this because there is a time and a place, but as a man,
we've got to learn what it is to stay calm.
We've got to learn what it is to to to really live this book out
and to cast all of our cares on him for he careth for you.
And if it is a big issue, of course you want to share that
with your wife. You don't want to keep secrets.
But I'm also going to say there are times to also have godly men
around you and to share these things with them.
So if you are like me and you struggle to be calm, what can we
do about that? Well, obviously you need to make
sure that you're not always live in a separate world on the
computer. You're not always surrounding
yourself with, you know, high stimulating things.
So if you're watching television crime dramas or you're watching,
you know, lots and lots of boxing or MMA, you know, all of
this stuff is putting cortisol into your body and it's raising
these levels. And then you're working a
stressful job and then you've got your family and then you've
got all these different pressures, church, all these
things that are around you. You need to just take things
back and just go back to basics. One of the best things I like to
do when I go on holiday is I do not go on my phone at all.
I don't go on the Internet at all.
So have seasons, have time where it's just quiet.
Have times where you just have a nice warm cup of Joe just with
your Bible, no screens. Just stay calm.
But it's not just being calm that's important.
It's also important for men of God to be quiet.
Now, my pastor, one of the things I most admire about him
is he has a real gentleness, but he's also so careful with what
he says. Emer actually used an example
the other night. She said.
I won't name my pastor's name, but there was a time where I
knew I was going to go into a situation where I might be
tempted to say some things, some rude things back to someone else
who was going to be rude to me. And she said, what would a name
the pastor do? He'd just be quiet and he'd just
walk away if it got heated. And that's what I, I need to
learn to do more. I'm someone who, you know, I
speak my mind. I wear my heart on my sleeve all
the time. Let me give a Bible verse for
you. Proverbs 10, verse 19.
In the multitude of words, there wanteth not sin, but he that
refraineth his lips is wise. So when you're speaking all the
time, when you've got verbal and I won't say that, you know that
what words come in next. When you're just speaking all
the time, sin's just near, isn't it?
It's so easy. You slip up, you say stupid
things you say. Why did I say that?
But if you hold back your words, if you choose your words
carefully, if you are known as a man of few words, that is not a
bad thing at all. It's good to hold things back
because if you read the the book of Proverbs, it constantly goes
back to this man who who restrains his lips, who's quiet
and he's seen as wise, the man of gods.
He doesn't discuss certain topics, some things he knows
this isn't a wise thing to talk about and he will just say, if
there's gossip at work, I'm sorry, I don't want to think
about that. I I don't want to entertain
this. The man of gods, He isn't there
to have a silly, cheap laugh over unclean things that God
hates. He will have a laugh, He will
have a joke, but he knows a time to laugh and a time to be
silent. And the man of God, as I was
saying earlier, is he doesn't repay evil for evil.
If someone should we say the word disses you, or if someone
puts you down or embarrasses you, the thing inside of us,
inside of the flesh, we want to say, well, I can say this about
that person. I can say that about this
person. And I've noticed this, but that
isn't the way of the Christian. No, Jesus says don't repay evil
for evil, but repay evil for good.
We must be like that in in the Scriptures, following the word
of God, that we must be gentle with our words and very careful
of what we say. Before I move on to #2 someone
just came to my mind, someone who I think is a good example of
an alpha male who's on this earth today.
If you've ever watched the YouTube Dry Creek Wrangler, he's
an American guy. He's someone who's, I like him,
basically. But what did he say that came to
our mind? He said that actually the most
dangerous man in the room is the quietest man.
And I think there's a lot of truth on that.
So just chew on that thought for a minute #2A man of gods must be
a protector. He must protect those around him
who are weaker. I've got a Bible verse for you.
If you've got a Bible there, turn to Ephesians 5 verse 25.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church
and gave himself for it. Now why did I share that verse
with you? I'll tell you why.
Who is the perfect example of a leader?
I mean, I don't even like this word alpha male, but I'm just
using it because it's a common term.
But who is the alpha male? Well, it's the alpha and the
Omega, the Lord Jesus Christ. He is our example.
So why is it we're called to protect?
Well, have you considered this? Here we are.
We are the bride. We are weak.
If you're the strongest man watching this now, you are weak
compared to the spiritual forces out there.
And here we are. The devil lunges for us, He goes
for us, He wants to take us out, but the Lord Jesus Christ, he
stands in the way and he protects us.
He lays down his life for the bride of Christ, for the church,
and he dies for us. And that is using an example for
us as husbands to look after our wives, that if anyone should
ever come after our wife, we must stand in the way.
Now, you might not be the strongest guy in the room.
I'm certainly not the strongest guy in the room, but God knows
your hearts. And if you're willing to
literally lay down your life for your wife, if 10 men come for
you and there's no point, that you've got no chance, you're
still called to stand in between your wife and those men, your
children, because you are called to protect them.
And we're also called to protect those who are weaker around us.
We're called to be caring, to love people.
You see a woman and she's struggling to pick her walking
stick up off the floor. You should help her.
You see that man and he's, he's on his own.
And you get the idea. We should be trying to be
caring. And that's something that
sometimes you won't always see with these, you know, alpha
males that we hear about in the media.
They're not doing those gentle, kind things.
It's all about them. Do I have permission to get
really practical now? I actually think more of those
men, particularly if you're an average Joe like me, we need to
learn to be a bit stronger. If you like me and you sat at a
desk all day. God has given us muscles for a
reason, our muscles. I truly do believe this, even
though I don't see any sin or anything wrong in doing the work
that we're doing with technology, But I do believe
we'd all be way happier if we lived.
Here's another alpha male for you, like Charles Ingalls.
If we just lived on a, on a farm self-sufficient and we get our
crop and we all spend time at church on Sunday coming together
chatting, we didn't have all this technology.
I think we'd be way happier. But we do live in this world.
And as the Bible says, we were made for such a time as this.
But that doesn't change the fact that God has given us, you know,
fingers, finger muscles, muscles in our arms.
You know, in your 20s, you know, your muscles are never stronger
then, you know, as we get older, you know, sometimes different
things are better as we get older.
But your muscles at the 20s, they have this, this power in
them, this stretchiness in them. And I'm not in my 20s anymore,
as you can tell. But we need to keep working
these muscles that God has given us.
That's what I'm basically trying to say.
And I do believe that if you can learn some kind of martial art
perhaps or boxing. Personally, I like to go on my
punch bag twice a day. I used to box when I was when I
was younger and it's just something I'll pick back up
again and just for fun. It's just good for your health,
isn't it? Because you know, again, when we
look at the Bible, the men of the Bible, they were warriors.
They were strong men. Now, here's the thing, if we are
trying to be stronger, if we are trying to know that, OK,
something went wrong, I would at least do my best to fight for my
wife and children. Are we always going to look for
a fight then? No.
I love this example. When I was 19 years old, I was
preaching in the open air and there was an older evangelist
there, a guy called Mickey. He was actually American and
he'd come over from the States to do some beach missions with
us. And he said, if I ever got
punched in the face in the open air, I said, would you punch him
back? He said, no, I'd actually praise
the Lord and say, Lord God, thank you that you've let me
take that for you that I've, I've taken that bit of, of
hatred in your name. Thank you.
I praise your name for that. I'm blessed because of that.
But on the flip side, he said, however, if someone came for my
wife and my children, I would do everything within my power to
protect them. I think you get what I'm trying
to say here. But again, there needs to be a
word of caution. Some people physically, they
can't do much and for whatever reason it might be, you can't
protect. And the Lord knows that.
But it's inside of your heart of hearts.
Is there a self preservation where you're looking after
yourself? You know where it's, if there
was a water bottle there and your wife needs a drink and you
need a drink, are you the one who's going to take it all?
You understand what I'm trying to say there?
It doesn't have to be, you know, this strong macho man.
Are we, are we doing it on the micro level?
At the same time #3 the man of gods should at all costs be
seeking to be selfless. And on that note, would anyone
like some of my coffee? But you know what I'm trying to
say here. You know, there's a, there's a
problem. Isn't that?
As I named some of those alpha males before, the issue with a
lot of those alpha males is they are selfish, they're self
censored. They want they want to build
their Kingdom, they're following, they want to build
their muscles, they want to build their strength.
It's all about them. It's all about their money,
their bank account. And yet they don't care about,
you know, the random person on the street.
I remember hearing Andrew Tate's one of his good friends saying
this and it still angers me to this day.
And he said, you know, I don't cook any meals.
I just laugh at the Uber driver on his little bike pedaling,
getting me some pizza, you know, and, and I'm here making all
this money and he's, you know, and I just give him my money and
then take my food. That isn't the way of a strong
man should not be thinking like that in any shape or form.
A strong man should be wanting to, to help that man.
And if you know these tools and these ideas, you should be
helping him. You should want to see this
person who's bringing you food every day to, to better himself.
A strong man should, should look at the needs of others and and
it should break them to pieces because the Lord has blessed
them and yet these others are are struggling.
The man of God, I believe will attract a woman of God.
And I didn't realise this until a few weeks ago actually, just
how much women are attracted to selflessness, you know, to
sacrifice. Now I, I do many, many things
wrong. OK, so I'm just going to give
you an example here. And I'm not boasting anyway.
It's just it's really stuck in my mind because my wife taught
me something I had no idea about.
And it is true men and women are very different.
And I just, I thought one thing completely opposite and she
thought the other. But as you know, recently me and
Emma have have gone through a loss and it's been a tough time.
And the first time we took our little boy Samuel swimming, who
went to the swimming lesson, and it was the first week we'd been
back and they'd actually moved us to a different pool.
And in this swimming pool, the children can't touch the bottom
with their feet. So the swimming teachers at this
end, doing something with a class, and she'd set Samuel off
to do a backstroke, okay, on his back.
And Sam started to panic because there was a sort of row of
floats that he'd swam into an angle and he wasn't moving
anywhere. So here he is.
He's not moving, he's not going anywhere.
And he's starting to think, where am I?
So he flips over onto his belly and then realises I'm here.
And then he flips over onto his side and then I'm here.
And then he starts to panic. And here the swimming teacher
is, is, is at the other end. And we honestly, it wasn't her
fault. And I'm just want to make that
completely clear. But she was at this end.
And me and Emma are watching Sam and he's panicking and he's
worrying and, and I'm saying to him, it's going to be OK, it's
OK, it's OK. And then it went on and on.
And then I'm thinking this isn't good at all and Emma's like
this. What's going to happen?
Emma's real. No, this isn't good.
All that and then next thing I know, fully clothed, I've jumped
into the water in jeans, in my shirt and I'm soaking wet and
I've paused Samuel up and I apologise to someone teacher.
It was actually quite a nice moment.
And she sent sent us a card because we explained our
situation. I said I think this is probably
just an overreaction with everything that's happened.
But there I was, now I was humiliated and here I am soaking
wet with all these other mums. I'm the only dad there and I'd
only gone to the swimming lesson just to support Emma because
we're getting back into activities.
All these mums are there and I'm, I'm in my genes and, and
I'm just sat on the sideline. So I'm kind of thinking, what do
I do here? Then one of the people at the
swimming pool says to me, there's hair dryers in there.
So I go out and I get the hair dryer.
I try to dry myself as good as possible.
And I said, Emma, that was just so embarrassing, wasn't it?
And Emma turned to me and said, I've never been more attracted
to you my entire life. So, well, I'll have to jump in
the swimming pool more. You see, I didn't understand
this situation In my mind. I thought, this just looks like,
you know, you're overthinking you being over the top.
There's another video that on the Internet that's just going
viral at the moment of a little girl going down a slide and this
man runs to catch the child as it falls off the slide and
catches it in the nick of time. And of course, all these women
are just saying this is amazing, you know, So what?
What am I trying to say? The long way around it is
sacrifice is something that women really appreciate.
And why is that? Because inside every woman's
heart they have a desire to meet the ultimate man of sacrifice,
the Lord Jesus Christ. That's who every woman really,
if you're watching this and you're single, that's who who
you need in your life more than anyone.
But again, just know that again, this isn't about the jumping and
swimming pools level. This is about the micro level.
Don't be always trying to self preserve.
You know, look after your needs. She's not meeting my needs.
No, if you've taken a wife and even if it's tough, you are
called to lay down your life as Christ laid down his life for
the church. You are called to give yourself
up and to love her even when things are difficult.
You're not called to be greedy. Always want him more and more
for yourself and and living in two separate worlds like we can
often do him. You know, your wife might be on
a phone and you're on your laptop or you're reading a book.
No, spend time together and be near to your wife and sacrifice
yourself even when you don't feel like doing the homework
with your children or you don't feel like, you know, taking the
bins out. It's all about a life of
sacrifice. That's what men of God do #4 the
man of God is disciplined. This is so, so important.
Just turn in your Bibles to Colossians 3, verse 23.
And whatsoever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not
to men. You see, as a man of gods, you
are called to be the provider for your family.
You are called to work hard. And whether you aren't married
or you are married, you're still called to do everything you can,
whatever your hand full of, to do.
Do with all your might. Work for your heavenly master,
not your earthly master. God is watching you.
And this is a quality we should all be seeking to do.
So let's get really practical. What time do you wake up at in
the morning? What time do you go to bed at?
Do you read your Bible? Are you a man of prayer?
Have you got a disciplined quiet time that happens every day?
These are things that a man of God must have the non
negotiables. And again, I, I get so busy and
I've struggled with it to to maintain that before I had this
YouTube channel. It was I used to be, you know,
do it. I'll be honest, I used to do a 2
hour quiet time in the mornings. I wasn't Christian work so I had
that luxury. But once real really, you know,
high pressured work came up, it was difficult to maintain that.
So I'm not judging anyone in any shape or form, but I am saying,
guys, we've got to get this right.
Even just this week my dad was saying if you don't do your
quiet time first thing in the morning, the very first thing
you do before you eat, it won't happen.
It's so very often if you leave it till later in the day, it
won't get done. Now, I know we're all wired
differently and if that's you, that's great if you can do it
consistently, but I'm just saying we need to be
disciplined, don't we? Now, if there's any Single
Ladies watching this video, do you know, let me let you into a
little tip how you can find the right man for you who's going to
be a provider. If you're dating a man and
you're interested in him, but you're not married yet, why
don't you go and ask his boss what's he like at working?
Come on, be honest with me. Is he a hard worker?
Because your boss will tell you the truth.
Well, his boss will tell the truth, won't they?
And if they are a hard worker, you know, you've got, you've got
yourself a Gemini, ladies. You see, I think too many of
those men, we go to bed with too much energy.
Again, as I said, God designed us to be toil and to be
labouring hard in the fields, to be working hard.
But if we're not going to bed exhausted, if we're not going to
bed like the, the cloth, if you like, just totally wrung out of
energy. I've, I've given everything to
my work. I've given everything to the
Lord. I've given everything to my
wife. I've spent time with my
children. I've, I've done the jobs around
the house. I've, I've done everything.
If we're not going to bed with all, you know, there's a
problem, isn't there? If we're just scrolling on the
Internet or watching Netflix for hours and hours and we're laying
awake and we're not falling asleep, there could be a reason
for that, that we're not working hard enough.
Proverbs 14, verse 23. Would you turn there with me
please? In all labour there is prophets.
But the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury.
Penury means poverty. So did you hear that?
You heard it from the word of God?
In all labour there is prophet. You might think clearing this
drain, it's just so boring and it can wait another few months.
But the Bible says in all labour there's profit.
You might think, ah, doing, doing this work for the church.
You know, I'm the treasurer for the church and I'm, I'm doing
all of these taxes and oh, it's just seems so mundane.
In all labour there is profit doing the dishes.
I'm a man, I don't need to wash the dishes.
We don't have a dishwasher at our house.
We we do it manually. But I'm a man, I don't need to
do that. That's a woman's job.
Well, as Billy Graham's wife once said, I think her name was
Ruth Graham, she put a little plaque over the kitchen sink and
said divine worship is given here twice a day and that was
for Billy and for the other men of the house to know.
No, you also are called to wash dishes.
Why? Because in all labour there is
profit in all the mundane things we do as men, as men of God.
It doesn't have to be strong and conquering kingdoms and building
empires and you know, gaining all this money on cryptocurrency
or whatever it is you're doing, it doesn't have to be all of
that. You can give glory to God in the
mundane things. And often that's often where we
find ourselves giving the most glory to God, where we're just
gleaning wheats in a field, just doing the little things here and
there what our heavenly Father sees.
OK, lastly #5 our fifth and final attributes are
characteristic of a godly man is a godly man is faithful.
Proverbs 20 verse 6 says most men will proclaim everyone his
own goodness. But a faithful man who can find,
A faithful man who can find. And really, that's the one thing
I want to be left ringing in your ears.
We see all these men. We see all these strong men, but
a faithful man who can find you see, the Bible says that's rare.
It is rare to find a loving, loyal man, a man who sees the
Lord Jesus Christ as his greatest example.
You know, the Lord Jesus Christ, he was a gentle shepherd, He
shepherded people's hearts, but he also LED, He was a leader.
And when the going got tough, he was the one who said, I'll carry
the can, I'll take it. So whether you're married or
not, would people say about you, you are a loyal person?
Are you faithful? Do you gossip about your friends
behind their back? Can your friends trust you of
information or are you known for just spreading it around your
wife? Do you protect your wife?
Again, we're not just always talking about being physical
here. Do you protect your wife when
others are putting her down? Maybe even your own family?
That can so often happen. Do you protect her?
Are you prepared to lay down your life, lay down your
reputation for your wife? Are you a loyal person?
I'll tell you something that most men need to repent of, and
it's this. You can be really unfaithful to
your wives late at night. I think you know what I'm
talking about. There you are.
Maybe your wife's in bed or the house is empty and you're all
alone on the Internet. Are you faithful?
Do you take your marriage vows seriously in that moment?
Are you faithful to your God? If you're not married with that
same exact thing I'm talking about, are you a faithful man?
Are you loyal to the one who died for you?
And, and though these things, you know, we're not, we don't
believe in workspace salvation, but we are called to repent.
We are called to turn from our sins.
And are you going to say this one who died for me, he's so
precious to me. I can't watch that stuff.
I want to be faithful. Principles are really, really
important. And in a society that doesn't
care about principles, you and I more than ever need to get them
drilled deep into us. I have shared this story before,
this illustration before on this channel, but if you've not heard
it, I want to share it again with you.
You know the story well of David and Bathsheba.
And David had got himself into a real mess, hadn't he?
He'd taken another man's wife, and here it was.
Everyone was going to find out about it.
So David tried to get rid of Bathsheba's husband, Uriah, and
he tried to get Uriah to well, he got him to drink a lot,
didn't he? So here he is Uriah, he's he's
out of his mind, he's dulled his senses after drinking so much.
And what happens? David says I want you now to go
home to your wife, spend some time with your wife.
But Uriah said no, how can I do that when my men, because he was
a soldier, he was a captain of the army.
How can my men, while they are out in battle, how can I go home
and just relax and chill out with my wife?
No, I need to be with my men. I have duty.
I have principal. And so here he is, this man
who's intoxicated, he's been drinking a lot, and he's got
more principles than the king of all of Israel.
He says, no, I'm not going to do that.
So if you do have principles, ultimately they they do go deep.
And even at times when life throws different things at you,
they'll be there. And I hope that these principles
to be quiet, to be calm, to be a protector, to be selfless, to be
disciplined and to be faithful. I hope that these principles go
deep into us and they're not shaken.
I hope you've enjoyed your coffee.
It's been a bit of a different video today.
I would like to do one on talking about a godly woman.
But if you think I've said too much nonsense in this, because I
did actually again, I'll let you into another secret.
I made one of these videos years ago and and people said you got
this so so wrong Joe, you shouldn't speak on these things
and I thought do you know what they're probably right.
So if I've got it wrong again today, let me know I'm more than
happy to delete this video as well as I deleted that that one
about it was in 2019. I'm happy to do that.
Let me know. But if you did find it helpful
and you'd like me to talk to you about what it is to be a woman
of God from now I see the scripture laid out.
Thank you so much for joining me for coffee, and I hope we'll see
you again very soon. Click subscribe if you want to
have another cup of Joe with me. God bless you all.