1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,640 Imagine this scenario. You and I are at a Christian 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,800 conference. There are literally 10s of 3 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,160 thousands of people in this room. 4 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,800 Young, old. Some have had many boyfriends 5 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,840 and girlfriends, some have been married for years. 6 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:14,560 And then suddenly the speaker at the front asks a question. 7 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,160 A very key. Question, he says. 8 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:21,240 I want you to raise your hand right now if you've ever been in 9 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,640 a relationship with a narcissist. 10 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,600 I wonder how many people? In that room, do you think would 11 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,080 raise their hand? I think it would be. 12 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,159 Literally a vast majority. Would say yes, I know a 13 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,560 narcissist or yes, I've been in a relationship with a narcissist 14 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,880 and yet if you look at the. Statistics. 15 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,360 There's. Actually, only 1 to 2% of 16 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,800 narcissists out there in the world. 17 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,920 Now I know exactly what some of you are thinking. 18 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,760 Well, if they're narcissists, they're not going to go to the 19 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,640 doctors and get diagnosed because they think there's 20 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,320 nothing wrong with themselves. And of course there's truth in 21 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,640 that. But the same time, I do think 22 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,440 sometimes we can be. Quick to give people labels. 23 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,000 So when I talk about these five traits of a narcissist in your 24 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,880 life, or perhaps you yourself or a narcissist, I want you to know 25 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,160 I am painting with A broad brush here. 26 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,440 I'm not saying that this person has been diagnosed as this, but 27 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,560 I'm saying these are traits that even every single one of us 28 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,920 needs to be aware of. OK, if this is your first time 29 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,560 on the channel, this is my cup of Joe. 30 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,360 Podcast where we're just. Dedicated to talking about the 31 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,760 Bible whilst having a cup of. Coffee. 32 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,840 So if you're new here, just try it. 33 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,920 Please just just try it for. Once get yourself a nice cup. 34 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,560 Of coffee, a cup of. Tea. 35 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,080 Maybe an ice cold? Beverage. 36 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,240 And just have a drink with me. As we study the Bible, some 37 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,600 scriptures. And we think about narcissism 38 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,840 and sorry, just. To say as well, these people up 39 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,680 here are people. Who've bought one of the mugs? 40 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,880 I make no money from this, literally. 41 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,280 It's just to cover the cost. And sort of there's a little 42 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,120 reminder because people are asking where do you get these 43 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,160 from? When some friends of mine made 44 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,840 me one, they said I would like 1. 45 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,080 So I thought in the end after going back and. 46 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,120 Forth I thought right we'll. Let people have them if it's 47 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,720 something they really want. And it's actually been a real 48 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:02,160 encouragement, just seeing faces of people who watch the channel, 49 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,040 because for me it's just a number on the screen. 50 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,880 You're always seeing my ugly face all day long, so it's nice 51 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,520 to. See your face so. 52 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:12,120 Yeah, if you'd like that, buy one of the mugs and I will send 53 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,880 you an e-mail in a few weeks time and then we'll get your 54 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,400 face on here if you want to send a. 55 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,080 Picture of yourself. Drinking a nice cup. 56 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:26,200 Of Joe. All right, the first sign of a 57 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,200 Christian narcissist is they have an over. 58 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:33,480 Inflated ego about their spiritual gifts they believe God 59 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,080 has. Given them some of the greatest 60 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,160 gifts and they. Believe that they should. 61 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,760 Have a higher position in the church. 62 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,720 They should have a higher. Position in life and God has 63 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,280 given them their gifts and for some reason there are people who 64 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,200 are blocking them from fulfilling God's calling on 65 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,280 their life. You've ever met someone like 66 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,840 that before? If you've got a Bible there, 67 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,440 please would. You turn to Romans chapter 12 68 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,480 and we're going to read. Verse 3. 69 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:02,320 Romans 12 and verse 3. For by the grace. 70 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,720 Given me, I say to everyone of. You. 71 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,560 Do not think of yourself more highly than you. 72 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:14,440 Ought but rather think of. Yourself with sober judgement in 73 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,520 accordance with the faith. God has distributed to each of 74 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:21,320 you so this. Particular verse is talking 75 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:22,520 about. Faith but. 76 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,120 In the same way God. Has distributed each of us with. 77 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,120 Different gifts I don't have. All the spiritual gifts. 78 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,320 And neither do you. There are gifts you have. 79 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,400 That I don't have. And likewise, there might be 80 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,200 gifts I've got that that you don't have. 81 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,760 God has done it. Fairly so that none of us get. 82 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,240 So puffed up because if any of. Us had all the gifts, if any of 83 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:41,800 us. Was this? 84 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,280 Super Christian. Suddenly we'd be trying to steal 85 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,160 glory from the Lord God, and that's why it's. 86 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,080 Good that we all have. Different roles, some have got a 87 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,840 wonderful. Gift of hospitality. 88 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,320 Some have a wonderful gift of encouragement. 89 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,280 Some people have a great. Gift of speaking, some people 90 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,000 singing, worship, some leadership. 91 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,040 I'm a terrible leader, believe it or not, whenever. 92 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,920 People think or because I. Preach. 93 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,400 Put Joe in charge of doing some leadership. 94 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,000 I panic. I'm terrible at ordering people 95 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,000 around. I'm just like, would you like to 96 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,560 do this A. Bit of a scaredy cat in that 97 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,360 respect. We've all got different. 98 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,480 Gifts haven't we? And yet some. 99 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,320 People, there are people. Who think they've got them all? 100 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,240 Or they think. The gift that they've got. 101 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,240 Is greater than it is and that is why the. 102 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,040 Church is. So, so important because the. 103 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,720 Church has a way of. Filtering through these things, 104 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,200 you know the. Bible talks about. 105 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,400 There's wisdom to be found in many different councillors. 106 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,320 If there's many people in the church, they will notice a gift. 107 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,640 You mark my. Words. 108 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,120 Sometimes it. Doesn't happen, but nine times 109 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,320 out of 10 the church will notice it's a gift and they will put 110 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,560 that person in a position because. 111 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,720 They all have the same spirit, the Spirit of God. 112 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:56,080 Sort of testifying that, yeah, this person has this. 113 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,360 This ability to. Serve in a certain way. 114 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:04,120 Let's use this person. I experienced this first hand in 115 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,640 quite a negative way. I don't really like sharing 116 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,520 negative stories and I don't want to ever seem like I'm 117 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,200 gossiping, but I thought. This actually was a story. 118 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,680 That maybe I should share. With you. 119 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:18,720 When I was 232324 I was just starting out as an evangelist. 120 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,520 I was. Shy, nervous, insecure and just 121 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,720 really trying to make this job that I really wanted to do. 122 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,600 I really wanted to be an evangelist. 123 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,240 It was like my dream job when I became a Christian. 124 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:35,720 And I remember there was an older man who joined the church 125 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,760 who had been divorced at least once. 126 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,800 It might have been twice. He's actually now what? 127 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,200 People call a passport bro. He's living in the Philippines 128 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,160 and I won't go into too many details, but anyway, this this 129 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,240 man came along to me and. Said he'd he'd built a. 130 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:56,000 Course for Evangelism. Now as an evangelist, I was 131 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,280 working through my own sort of studies and studying myself how 132 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:03,000 to become a better evangelist. But this man had just come along 133 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,840 to the church. He'd never done any evangelism, 134 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,880 and he'd written a course. He said no, I've. 135 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,240 Never. He literally said it. 136 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,480 In the in the opening paragraph of this course, no, I've never 137 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,280 shared the gospel. No, I'm not an evangelist, but I 138 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,240 do have a skill at writing courses so. 139 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,560 I'd like to do this course and so it's like, OK. 140 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,640 So we've got to be. Careful here. 141 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,360 That it's not the blind leading the blind. 142 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,200 I obviously didn't say that to him, but he'd written this 143 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,160 course. A few months. 144 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:31,200 Later, an older evangelist who'd been doing this for. 30 years. 145 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,640 I'd been in touch with this man and I'd been working alongside 146 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,280 him and some other evangelists and I'd invited him to come to 147 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:41,520 the church and to do some training with the church and we 148 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,760 were going to have a full. Day, what we called a gospel. 149 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,000 Outreach Day where we went out and shared the gospel. 150 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,640 So we've got this day. All planned and I've got this, 151 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,080 you know. If you like this. 152 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,600 Glittering evangelist come in. Who's had all of this 153 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:53,200 experience? Who? 154 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,600 Literally has LED. Hundreds, if not thousands. 155 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,440 To the Lord Jesus Christ. And then this man comes from 156 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,160 the. Church with his course. 157 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:05,200 And he was fuming at me, just bearing in mind I'm just 2324 158 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,400 years old, very, you know, not sure of myself. 159 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,280 And he's literally shouting at me in the. 160 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:15,080 Pews after church. Saying I am absolutely fuming. 161 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,040 I am so angry that none of you have. 162 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,200 Considered my course none of you have read. 163 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,880 Through it, none of you, and you're inviting this evangelist 164 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,160 and where's my course going to fit in on this day? 165 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,720 Now, looking back, in hindsight, it was wrong with me. 166 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,760 I should have looked at the course more and I should have, 167 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,320 you know, at least addressed it. And because I was busy, I 168 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,760 didn't. And you know, there isn't a 169 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,720 great excuse for that. But this man was fuming. 170 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,480 And then in my flesh what I did. Is I said right? 171 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,480 If you're such a great. Evangelist, I'll tell you. 172 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,840 What you'll do, what we'll. Do right now and the church was 173 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,960 in a place that. Had sort of a shopping. 174 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:52,280 Precinct, I said, let's go out onto the the street right now 175 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,200 this second and you're going to go and share the gospel with 176 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,920 people and I'll just shadow you. I'll stay in the background and 177 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,480 you can teach me how to do it and the man said. 178 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,840 Okay, I will. That's exactly what I'll do. 179 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,600 He started to put his coat on, saw him on the other side of the 180 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,240 room. And then just giving me. 181 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,560 Daggers. He looked across. 182 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:09,560 And said, you know what, I'm not. 183 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,520 Playing your games, Joe I. Don't need to, I'm not doing it. 184 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:13,840 And and he backed. Off so I was. 185 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:15,320 Basically trying to call his. Bluff. 186 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,840 But the point is this man's come back over the years as this 187 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,520 YouTube channel's grown up and he's he's been trying to get in 188 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,560 touch with the former pastor saying you need to. 189 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,360 Tell Joe to to share. My channel across the world, you 190 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,920 know and I. Literally said to the pastor. 191 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,480 There was no one who was more critical of my ministry after a 192 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,720 preacher sermon. He'd be saying this was wrong 193 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,440 with it, this was wrong with it. This man was always belittling 194 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,640 me, always putting me down, and now he wants me to share his 195 00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:45,400 channel across the Internet when I don't personally believe. 196 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,480 He has got a. A gift in that way. 197 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,120 So my point is this. Was this man a narcissist? 198 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,760 I don't know, but I'm saying there are people out there and I 199 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,560 could, I could name many other instances of people. 200 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,160 Who believe they've got this gift, They believe they've got 201 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,080 this ability. And yet when? 202 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,080 You've got the church as a whole. 203 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,120 They haven't noticed that ability. 204 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,400 Maybe that's you. Maybe that's me in some spheres 205 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,800 of life, and we need to just be aware that we should never see 206 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,640 ourselves greater than we are, but we should. 207 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:17,360 Have sober judgement, am I really? 208 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:21,400 As good as I think I am. Am I really good at? 209 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,480 Preaching am I? Am I? 210 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:27,600 Really good at this service. Am I really good at this skill? 211 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:32,080 Just sober judgement and. As my dad would say to me, keep 212 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:35,760 your feet on the ground, Joe, because at times I can go over 213 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,560 the top with my own, with my own imagination. 214 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,840 Now, the second sign that you are dealing with a Christian 215 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,240 narcissist is they have double standards. 216 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,760 For instance, they might control you massively. 217 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:52,200 They might say you can't go out. Some aren't even allowed to go 218 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,600 to the shop on their own. They're not allowed to leave the 219 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,320 house. They're not allowed to see their 220 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,880 friends at night. They're very much controlled. 221 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,880 But then the person in the relationship, for instance, they 222 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,000 have all the freedom in the world. 223 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,640 They can do whatever they want. They have double standards. 224 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,480 They might do something like for instance, they might when you're 225 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:16,120 raising children, they might use terrible language in front of 226 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,600 the children all the time. And you do it once and then 227 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,760 suddenly, how dare you do that? You're terrible. 228 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,560 You're a terrible example. And yet you've they've done it 229 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,080 1000 times. You see where I'm going with 230 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,000 this? Jesus, actually. 231 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,040 It'd be worth turning here. I'm not going to read a verse. 232 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,200 To you but. It'd be worth turning there. 233 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,760 Jesus told a parable of something kind of similar to 234 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:38,200 this in in Matthew chapter. 18. Verses 21 to 30. 235 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,400 Five if you'd like to to either pause the. 236 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,480 Video and read it or I'm going to tell you what happened. 237 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:48,040 So there was this servant. And he owed 10,000 bags of gold 238 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,960 to his master. That's a lot of gold. 239 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,280 And he couldn't pay it. And he went before his master 240 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,080 and said I can't pay it. And his master said you need to 241 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,840 pay it. And you just have to pay this 242 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,360 money. If you if you do not, something 243 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,720 serious is going to happen. I can't pay it, master. 244 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,240 Right. Well, in that case. 245 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,360 Take your wife, take your. Children, they're going to be 246 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,480 sold so that in some way you can pay. 247 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,800 Off this debt, the. Servant got down on his knees 248 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:17,160 and begged and started crying. Please, please have mercy on me. 249 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,080 I can't lose my wife and children. 250 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:23,040 Please. And so the Master showed him 251 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,120 mercy and. Do you know what he did? 252 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,320 He decided to even. Cancel the debt, not say, OK, 253 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,760 I'll give you some time to pay it off. 254 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,040 He ripped the debt up. It was gone. 255 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,400 Just a few moments. Later the. 256 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:40,440 Servant was walking around and he notices another fellow 257 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:45,320 servant, and this fellow servant owes him 100 silver coins, so 258 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,720 we've got 10. 1000 bags of gold. And then we've got 100 silver 259 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,080 coins. Not in the same comparison, is 260 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:54,920 it really? And this servant says to the 261 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,000 fellow servant, I want my money, give me the silver coins. 262 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,120 And the servant says I can't, I can't pay it. 263 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,440 No, you will give it to me. And he? 264 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,720 Literally, the Bible says. He put his. 265 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,280 Hands on him and started. You know, getting very. 266 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:12,200 Physical with him you will. Pay this money and and the 267 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,840 servant was pleading and. He couldn't. 268 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,320 He couldn't pay it. So what did this? 269 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,400 This servant who'd been forgiven, Do you know what? 270 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,760 He did. He had this man thrown into 271 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,720 prison until. He paid off the debt. 272 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,760 Now that. Is very, very relatable. 273 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:30,120 For many of us, we. Have some? 274 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:35,720 Sins we see them as. Abhorrent, gross, terrible and. 275 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,280 When we see people commit. Those sins, we we just. 276 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,800 Say get rid of them, avoid them, get just. 277 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,520 I don't want anything to do with those. 278 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,320 People. And we write them off. 279 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,280 And yet when we commit the same sins. 280 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,120 We give it a green pass somehow, God. 281 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,720 Hates this kind of hypocrisy. He hates double standards. 282 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,760 And the narcissist will often find ways of bending the rules. 283 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,480 You know, moving the goal. Posts, as we say over. 284 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,040 Here in the UK, you know, in football. 285 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,920 It's like you. You make the goal posts a bit 286 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,720 wider so that you can score a goal. 287 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,680 You know, it's moving things around to kind of make it fit 288 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,880 into your agenda. And that's exactly what the 289 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,400 narcissist will do. Now before some of you might 290 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:20,120 have been feeling like I was pointing the finger at that man 291 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,320 at my church. And yeah, maybe I was and maybe 292 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,960 I shouldn't do that. Just call me out on it. 293 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,400 I'd love to hear your thoughts on on whether I should share. 294 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,000 Stories like that, but I'm. Going to right now. 295 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,720 Put myself out there because it's all very well. 296 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,640 You know, before I judge anyone, I'll judge myself. 297 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,240 I was terrible at this a few years ago. 298 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:43,080 Again, I hope this doesn't sound boastful in any way, but back in 299 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:50,040 2022, even 2023, I actually had technically the biggest 300 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,840 Christian YouTube channel in the world on my main channel off the 301 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:58,440 Curb Ministries. And again, I'm not saying that 302 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,040 in any way to boast it was. All the Lord who did that, but 303 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,840 we would literally. Every week on average, get. 304 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,680 It was like 30 weeks where every video. 305 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,480 Got over 1,000,000 views. We're just. 306 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:13,680 Reaching so, so, so many people, and because of that, suddenly it 307 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,320 put a lot of attention on my channel. 308 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,800 And other Christian Youtubers saw that I. 309 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,920 Was getting success and decided, you know, I want a slice of this 310 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,000 pie. What's he doing? 311 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,760 And they started copying various things, editing things that I 312 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,200 did. Phrases that I used they would 313 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,280 copy like. The thumbnails and titles, 314 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,280 literally to the point some of them you couldn't tell the 315 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:39,080 difference between the channels. And again, as embarrassed as I 316 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,720 am to admit. This I got really, really 317 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:46,080 bitter. Really angry in my heart and 318 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,840 again, this is I'm really not proud. 319 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,000 Of this but I started. Reaching out to some of these 320 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:51,960 and saying what are you doing? This isn't right. 321 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,080 You know, you, you're doing all of this. 322 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,120 And there was it really hit a climax. 323 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:02,400 And yeah, it was, yeah. It was 2022, August 2022 or 324 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,960 September 2022. This should have been the best 325 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,400 week of my life. I was there with my wife and our 326 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,200 little son at the time, and we were on the Isle of Lewis, as 327 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,160 some of you know, my favorite place in the entire. 328 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,480 World, it was a beautiful. Sunshine A. 329 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,360 Beautiful holiday and on that. Very. 330 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,840 Week. I reached a million subscribers 331 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,640 and instead of being happy and having fun with my my family 332 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:30,120 because I don't get much time holiday on vacation, I was 333 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,840 writing emails. To a particular YouTube who, if 334 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:36,160 you like, was. The worst dealing like, well, 335 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,600 copying the the the the background music I used 336 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,600 everything was the same and I was writing to him and it was. 337 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,040 Yeah, I just had a horrible, horrible holiday because of. 338 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:52,360 That and then Emma said something and the Lord actually 339 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,840 led me to. This very passage I've just 340 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,960 shared with you, It was like Joe. 341 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:00,160 You're being a hypocrite when? You first started out on 342 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,200 YouTube. You copied people terribly. 343 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,040 It used to take illustrations from pastors and give no credit. 344 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,960 It used to take stories used to take. 345 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,480 You know. Props that pastors would use and 346 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,080 you wouldn't give any credit. You can't talk at all. 347 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:19,120 And even now to this day I will copy titles and thumbnails 348 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,280 sometimes. So the point is this. 349 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,520 We're all hypocrites. I actually hold my hand up and 350 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,480 say I'm a bigger hypocrite than most people. 351 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,920 And the Lord took me on a long, long journey and it took me 352 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:33,400 years to get to the point where it's like, no, we're all working 353 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,200 in the same vineyard. We're all on the same team. 354 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,080 We're all trying to. Reach this vast world of the 355 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,880 gospel. And we need all the help we can. 356 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,960 Get so. If you're a YouTube and you're 357 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,480 watching this now if you ever want to take anything of mine. 358 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,920 Please go feel free to do it because the Lord's healed that. 359 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,160 Horrible simple side of me. Anyway, I just thought I needed 360 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,800 to share that with. You just to show that. 361 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,600 I'm not saying I'm the guy who's got it all together. 362 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,160 They can be narcissistic. Traits. 363 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,080 In me of all people #3 I just want to tread very. 364 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,359 Carefully here because I. Actually think there's probably 365 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,760 some people who are going through this right now and some 366 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,720 of you, you're married to this person. 367 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,400 And yeah, I just want to tread carefully. 368 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,440 And I want to say in my last video I made an apology because 369 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,599 I made some comments. About divorce. 370 00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:26,680 And I didn't qualify enough and I just the biggest thing I want 371 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:27,839 to. Say if if you are. 372 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,840 Going through any marriage difficulties? 373 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,120 You need to bring in some elders at a church. 374 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,760 Marriage counselors you need external. 375 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,120 Help. I really do believe that. 376 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:41,200 Because every situation is different and so I can't just 377 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,560 say something on the Internet that applies to everyone. 378 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,040 Because you have to. Literally meet with that person, 379 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,040 untangle all of the stuff and and talk to them. 380 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,840 But. Yeah, the third one, the. 3rd 381 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,280 sign that you're dealing with a narcissist is they belittle you. 382 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,760 Or they belittle. Or they. 383 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,000 Call someone who doesn't agree with them, who doesn't bow down 384 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,440 to their agenda, who doesn't bow down to them that they, they 385 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,720 call them all these nasty, horrible names. 386 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,120 They they can be. Really. 387 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,400 Really. Mean some of them they'll. 388 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,720 Nag you they'll. Just nag you to pieces, male or 389 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,960 female, that that they'll nag you and and they'll be trying to 390 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,200 bring you down. So that you'll never leave. 391 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,400 Them that's actually the goal of the narcissist to to to make you 392 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,720 not be on an equal plane, which we should all be in our 393 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,440 relationships. We should all we've. 394 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,840 All got different duties. Yes I do believe the man should 395 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:34,200 lead as the the husband but we're equal before the sight of 396 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,240 God. Man and woman is equal, but what 397 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,840 the narcissist? Tries to do is sort of pat you 398 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,080 down a few so that they're way ahead of you. 399 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,920 And so that they can always get their. 400 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,360 Way. It's always about their way. 401 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,160 And you'll often find the the trail that the narcissist. 402 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,360 Will leave is they're always falling out with people. 403 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,960 There's always a problem with this friend. 404 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,280 Or that friend. Or that. 405 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,000 Person they work with. Or that couple they'll have. 406 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,720 Many different friendships and at first when they're getting 407 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,880 all this attention, they'll love it and they'll think these are 408 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,000 the best. People ever they'll. 409 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,280 Even idolisation, you know, idolise them, they'll they'll 410 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:12,080 think they're great. But then when something happens 411 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,560 that challenges their behaviour or they're not suddenly getting 412 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,960 the attention they need, they'll ditch them. 413 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,000 And that's. It they'll they'll call them. 414 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,120 Rotten The other thing as well in a relationship with a 415 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:26,160 narcissist is very often they don't like it when you're too 416 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,680 happy. You might be watching something 417 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,800 like a film, or you might be watching like a video and you're 418 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,400 really laughing, really having a good time, and they come in and 419 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,120 they get angry at you. They're not happy that, you 420 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,880 know, you're having a good time, but on the flip side, they don't 421 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,360 want you to be like this pit of, you know, just wallowing in 422 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:45,480 sadness and they try and bring you out of that. 423 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,560 So you do think they care about you in one sense, but. 424 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,520 They don't need to be too happy. And why is that? 425 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:55,880 Because it's almost as if you're doing well without them, or they 426 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:59,120 want to keep you in this lower kind of sense of self. 427 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:03,520 Which is very, very toxic. And So what would I say? 428 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,720 If you are. Someone who is in this 429 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,720 relationship and there will be times where you want to 430 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:12,040 challenge this behaviour and, and sometimes you do challenge 431 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,080 it. You have conversations and then 432 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,000 they get angry. That is really one of the big 433 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,680 signs. They can get destructive. 434 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:21,840 They can be just, you know, the mask falls down and they can 435 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,000 just, you see a completely different side of them. 436 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,960 What does the Bible say? To do in these times. 437 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,400 What would I say to you if? You've got a narcissist and 438 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,680 they've. Gone from. 439 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,800 Belittling to literally blowing a. 440 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,400 Casket to just going. Crazy in your face. 441 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:44,360 Just turn to Proverbs 15 with me, Proverbs 15 and verse 18. 442 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:49,760 A hot tempered person. Stirs up conflict, but the. 443 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,560 One who is patient calms a quarrel. 444 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,360 Should I just read it one more time? 445 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,040 A hot. Person stirs up conflict, but 446 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,880 the one who is patient calms a quarrel. 447 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,400 You don't. That's a difficult verse, you. 448 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,480 Don't really want me to share that one with you, do you? 449 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,800 Because if they're the one who's in the wrong, they're shouting, 450 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:15,520 they're screaming, they're the one who should be dealt with and 451 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,080 yet what's the Bible saying here? 452 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:21,400 It's saying be patient. If you're patient, you will calm 453 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,560 the quarrel down and. The sad reality? 454 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:27,760 Is with this narcissist whether it's a friend. 455 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,960 A brother family member. Or even your spouse. 456 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,880 You are going to have to be the bigger person so much and the 457 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,000 reason why I say don't start shouting back and don't start 458 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,480 quarrelling. Back because it never works. 459 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,600 The the narcissist is never wrong. 460 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,680 And they'll just spiral more and more and they'll get even more, 461 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,880 you know, they might bring children in. 462 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,520 They might bring. Ways of sort of. 463 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,320 Muddying your name and they'll. Make threats, they'll do all. 464 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,880 Kinds of it. And it'll just get worse and 465 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,280 worse. And some of you from experience 466 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,680 know this the best thing. Is to to. 467 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:02,280 Try and be patient and to try and gently try and calm arm this 468 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:06,720 storm down now. Again, I really. 469 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,960 If there's someone who's stuck in this mess, I really want you 470 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,480 to talk to your church pastor. If you're not at a church, I 471 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,320 want you to find a local church. If there is no local church 472 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:22,000 nearby, I want you to to call up someone who the nearest church 473 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,560 nearby and say is there a? Pastor who could? 474 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,560 Come out and visit me. I'm not able to get out because 475 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,120 some people can't get to church. I know there's many people who 476 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,920 watch this. Podcast because of disability. 477 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,520 They can't. They can't can't get out of the. 478 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,440 House. Would there be someone who'd 479 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,400 just be willing to come and sit with me and talk this through 480 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:40,880 because you need help, You need support in this. 481 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,640 You shouldn't be trapped in this, this pain in this cycle of 482 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,160 of, you know. Where you have to. 483 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,240 Be a doormat and suddenly say everything they want. 484 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,200 To you to say just just so that. You know they don't break stuff 485 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,520 or that, you know, your life isn't a mess. 486 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,680 Yeah, this isn't an easy video to film. 487 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:03,480 I want you to know that. And again, I'm not pretending 488 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,080 I'm qualified to do this. I'm just an average Joe. 489 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,800 I'm just a street. Preacher, as you know, but I 490 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,720 felt that the Lord. Actually this very morning as I 491 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,680 was led in bed, this message came to me and I thought I need 492 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:15,560 to. Share this today. 493 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,600 So maybe it's going to help someone, maybe it's not helpful. 494 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,480 Let me know. Some of you have got real 495 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,520 experience with this and real wisdom and I'm always learning 496 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,400 from you. So please do write the comments 497 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,840 down because because I really do try and read as many of them and 498 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,920 as I said from the last comment on. 499 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,680 Divorce. It was very helpful to hear. 500 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,800 Someone who'd walk through this and it really challenged me. 501 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,880 So do do let me know your thoughts #4 they are vain. 502 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,080 They are. Superficial they're always 503 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,920 attracted to. Kind of cool people. 504 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,560 That's who they believe because they believe they're up here. 505 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,560 They believe they should be hanging around with high value 506 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,160 people, the the highest people in the world. 507 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,880 Because that's who is. In their. 508 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,160 League. And anyone who's below their 509 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,280 league, they don't have the time for them. 510 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,640 They're often quite, you know, into their appearance, even if 511 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,160 they're not actually the any oil painting, they really do spend a 512 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,680 lot of time in the mirror checking themselves out, you 513 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,760 know, moisturizing lots of makeup or whatever it is, doing 514 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,880 their hair, you know, working out that they're very much into 515 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,280 their appearance, you know, very vain. 516 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:23,880 And yeah, as I said, they don't want to. 517 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,040 Associate with with lower people. 518 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:27,840 And if you. You've got a Bible there. 519 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,120 Again, could you just? Turn to Luke. 520 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:38,120 Chapter 11 and verse 43. Luke 11 and verse 40. 521 00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,600 Three, it says. Woe. 522 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,720 To you Pharisees, because you. Love the most important seats in 523 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:49,280 the synagogues and respectful greetings in the marketplaces. 524 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:53,120 Guys, this is crucial. The Pharisees, they always 525 00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,000 wanted. The best seat they always 526 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,560 wanted. If there was the celebrities. 527 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,520 Of the day they'd want to be sitting next to them. 528 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,520 They wanted the best. That's what the narcissist is 529 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,520 like. These Pharisees, they were 530 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,280 likely. Many of them narcissistic in 531 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,520 their personalities and. We have to be so careful of 532 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,720 this. I noticed this again when I go 533 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:14,560 to Christian conferences. You see certain people and they. 534 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,080 Always. Sort of. 535 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,320 There's like a magnet towards the kind of big names, the 536 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,840 preachers, the. Speakers. 537 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,520 Those who? Are in charge of charities. 538 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,400 Those who? Run organisations the the the 539 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,400 missionaries who've done great things and. 540 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,520 They all sort of. Run in that direction, but then 541 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,760 you've got, you know, Bob from Bradford, which is, you know, 542 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,120 place in the north of England. Or you've got. 543 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,800 Paul from down South and he's not done anything that exciting, 544 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,080 but he's here and he and he wants to learn about Jesus or he 545 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,080 wants to serve the Lord. And they sit on their own and 546 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,000 they eat at mealtimes because no one wants to talk to them. 547 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,760 We have to be so careful of that at church. 548 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,880 When people are sat on their own, we need to make time for 549 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,360 who Jesus would make time for. That's what I read when I read 550 00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:02,560 the parables. The Kingdom of heaven will be 551 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,760 full of the very. People who we least expect the 552 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,280 the people who aren't. You know, the ones with their 553 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,480 names and lights. It's the lowly that. 554 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,160 That Christ has the time for. I saw this just the. 555 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,840 Other week in a in a cafe and it broke my heart. 556 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,320 These weren't Christians as far as I know, but there was a 557 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:19,920 little. Old. 558 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,600 Lady and she was sat on this massive. 559 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:27,520 Table had about 12 chairs. On it, but the cafe was full. 560 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,920 It was the only. Table that was free and she sat 561 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,800 there on her own. I think she had a little little 562 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,120 Westy dog. A little dog. 563 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,800 And she must have been in her 80s and she's eating this soup, 564 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,760 you know, just skin and bones. And she sat there on her own. 565 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,120 And then suddenly a party of women who were probably in the 566 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,280 60s, fifties, they came because the only. 567 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,880 Table that was free was. That one with the old. 568 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,680 Lady. So they joined her. 569 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,560 And this. Little old lady, it was like it 570 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,960 was Christmas Day. She was so, so pleased they were 571 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,120 there. And she was talking away to them 572 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:04,120 and laughing and. And joking and there. 573 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:06,400 Was actually one of the women the youngest woman was actually 574 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,560 taking her on? Was actually in conversation 575 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,560 being really pleasant to her. But I saw the. 576 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,920 The other women, particularly the one who sat right next to 577 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:16,320 her, dolled up with her makeup, you know, probably had a bit of 578 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:19,840 money, you can imagine. And she just, she was just like 579 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,720 rolling her eyes, turning away. Her body language was away from 580 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,400 her. She didn't just didn't want to 581 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,280 engage with this woman woman at all. 582 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,400 And are we really that selfish that we can't just give up? 583 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,200 Half an hour. We can't give up half an hour. 584 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,920 Share a table. With someone who's who's going 585 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,960 to spend the rest of the week on their own, we need to make. 586 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,960 Sure, we do that as. Christians and I felt like I 587 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,080 thought. It'd be awkward at this. 588 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,120 Point but I was like. Come and sit with us, love. 589 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,640 Come and join our. Table with the the children if 590 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,720 you if you're happy to have screaming in your ears and I'm 591 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,520 sure they'll, they'll enjoy spending time with your dog. 592 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,600 But yeah, let's make sure we're not always wanting the higher 593 00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:01,320 things in life and we make time. And yeah, we're not superficial. 594 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,280 That's what I'm trying to say. And lastly #5 which really just 595 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,640 comes off the back of #4 is this. 596 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:12,560 The narcissist has 0 empathy. They don't care about anyone but 597 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,120 themselves. As long as they're happy and 598 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:18,000 their needs are met, that's all that matters. 599 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,840 They have to be the centre of attention. 600 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,040 And sometimes there can be days. Where this is. 601 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,480 It really comes out quite strongly and and the mass falls 602 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,240 down and you. Really see their true, true 603 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:29,760 colours. For instance on a. 604 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,080 Birthday. You've been really excited. 605 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,640 It's your birthday. You know, only comes around once 606 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,680 a year and the day you know we're. 607 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,720 Not when we have our. Birthdays we're not being 608 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,320 egotistic when we expect it to be a nice day for us. 609 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,800 You know, it's just kind of an unwritten rule. 610 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,040 And yet on your very birthday, the narcissist can make it all 611 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,280 about them. They can make you cry on your 612 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,480 birthday. And again as I speak, maybe I'm 613 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,760 I'm. Speaking so directly that it's 614 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,040 hard for. Some of you to even listen to 615 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:58,960 this. Perhaps a narcissist in your 616 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:00,880 life has made you cry on your birthday. 617 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,600 Because it was all about them, all the attention. 618 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:09,160 Needs to be on them, and in Christianity this is very, very 619 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,000 worrying. Because if there is a. 620 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:16,200 Christian narcissist and is all they care about is themselves. 621 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,080 That's concerning because as Christians were. 622 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,920 Called to care about the lost, I mean. 623 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:27,240 All these millions and millions of people who are going to be 624 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,800 trapped in hell forever because they haven't come to. 625 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:34,080 The cross of Jesus Christ. Some of them haven't even heard 626 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,840 about Christ Jesus. They. 627 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,000 They don't know. The true gospel message. 628 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,480 That Jesus died on that. Cross for all of our. 629 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,520 Sins and now forgiveness. A new slate. 630 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,480 A new. Beginning is possible because 631 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,120 Christ shed his blood on that cross. 632 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,760 They they don't know that Christ has risen from the dead. 633 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:51,840 And this is the greatest news in the. 634 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,800 World that that we. Can have eternal life. 635 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:59,040 Because Christ is risen. And yet the the narcissist, even 636 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,600 though they themselves are saved, they. 637 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,360 They don't care. It doesn't bother. 638 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,520 Them they they make no. Effort to share the gospel. 639 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,920 They don't care about the poor that right now there. 640 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:09,240 Are brothers and sisters in Christ. 641 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,200 Around the world, who? Will not eat tonight. 642 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,200 Who are living in war-torn countries. 643 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,880 Who as they put their children to sleep, they they have to 644 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:22,720 somehow read a bedtime story to their children whilst missiles, 645 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:26,560 whilst loud bangs are going on in the background and yet you 646 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:31,720 and your safe place in the West you're putting your children 647 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,960 down to. Sleep and everything's safe and 648 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:35,880 everything. 'S nice and the narcissist 649 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,760 doesn't doesn't care. The narcissist, The person at 650 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,000 the church who has just. Got that life? 651 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,960 Changing news. Something that's could. 652 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:48,520 Be potentially the the ultimate. Price they'll be gone or. 653 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:52,160 Something that's going to absolutely destroy their quality 654 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,120 of life and is all they need to do is just remember them in. 655 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:56,680 Prayer. And yet they don't. 656 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:58,920 Because they're so concerned with their own needs, the 657 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,640 narcissist has no empathy. And really, it doesn't bother 658 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,920 them that the. Person might come up to them and 659 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,000 talk to them and. They'll say, oh, that's sad and 660 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,160 they'll pull all the right faces, but inside they, they, 661 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,200 they really don't care. They'll, they'll forgotten about 662 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,120 it and in five seconds time they'll be going back to, to 663 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,680 their own way. Now remember. 664 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,720 How I said at the beginning of the video, I'm going to use the 665 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,400 word narcissist loosely. I do wonder some of you 666 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,560 listening to this. You're not a narcissist, you 667 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,040 know. With all the traits with like if 668 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,000 it was a doctor sat before you, they'd. 669 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,080 Say you're not a narcissist, and yet I think every single one of 670 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:37,080 us probably can identify. With what I've just said, do we 671 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,080 really care about them, The poor? 672 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,560 As much as we should. Do we really care about the 673 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,920 lost? Even me as an evangelist. 674 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,920 Do I honestly care about them? I know I used. 675 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,880 To care much more than I do now, and I have to. 676 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,920 Really work on that to to get closer to the Lord again. 677 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:56,360 Do we care about those people in our church? 678 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,280 Who? Going through a terrible time 679 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,640 and yet if the narcissist or if any of us. 680 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,560 Were to go through that time and the. 681 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,240 People at the church. Didn't care about us. 682 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:08,680 We would be fuming, we'd be so upset and we'd say, well I've 683 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:10,440 seen my true friends now haven't I? 684 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:12,720 The second I got. Ill I realised. 685 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,880 Who my true friends were. Let me read a Bible verse to 686 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:24,360 you. Matthew 24, Matthew 24 and verse 687 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:32,640 12. So here Jesus is talking about 688 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,840 the end. Times the sign of the end of the 689 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,400 age and he says 1 of. The signs is this. 690 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:42,200 Because of the increase. Of wickedness the love of most 691 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:45,560 will grow cold or the the version we're used to is the 692 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:49,160 love of. Many will grow cold and that is 693 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:50,760 something. That will happen. 694 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,520 I do believe we're in the end times. 695 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:56,080 Some of you need to. Look. 696 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,600 Out for this this this book's going to come out very soon I've 697 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:02,680 written a book on the end times and as I'm going through all 698 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,000 these signs of the end times and different things, it really 699 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:10,520 looks like the world we're living in right now and so 700 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,640 something. That you and I have. 701 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,040 To be careful of. Even as Christians is. 702 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,360 Our love. You know, have we let too much? 703 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,640 Sin enter in have we become so selfish has social. 704 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,880 Media has our cushy nice lifestyles has. 705 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,760 Has that affected? Us so much, or because perhaps 706 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,080 we've been. Hurt we, we just. 707 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,440 Think well I can't trust. Anyone else? 708 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,000 I'm just going to look after myself. 709 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,480 We need to, we need to have empathy. 710 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,600 We need to have love. And if there's anyone who's 711 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:40,000 feeling like that right now, I'm going to pray in fact, and I 712 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,400 need to pray for myself. Will you just bow your head and 713 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:43,840 let's all just. Pray to the Lord for. 714 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:48,000 This. Father, we've talked about some 715 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:53,200 difficult things in this video. Very difficult things. 716 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,400 Some people are going. Through this right now with. 717 00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:01,440 A family member, a friend, a spouse who is a narcissist and 718 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,120 they are struggling. Lord, I pray for. 719 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,240 This person. That there will be relief. 720 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,440 That this narcissist will be cured. 721 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:10,880 Of their narcissism. That they will. 722 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:14,080 Repent of their sin. And that there will. 723 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,560 Be a a healing. That will will take place. 724 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,760 Lord and I just pray. That you will be the comfort 725 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:21,719 that they need. Every day. 726 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,560 Every day will be difficult. Please draw close to them. 727 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:26,840 And please send them. People in their life. 728 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,880 Who can help them with this battle so they don't fight this 729 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,840 battle? Alone and Lord, I pray for any 730 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:39,800 of us who have been challenged. By this message challenged by 731 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:44,159 these words, if there are any narcissistic, selfish, prideful 732 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,000 things inside of our lives. Ugly things, Lord Pruners. 733 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,199 Cut it out, Help us to be more like Christ. 734 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:56,520 And I pray above all that our love would not grow cold, that 735 00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:01,640 we would love people, that we would see others highly more so 736 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,280 than ourselves, that Christ would increase and we would 737 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,440 decrease. And that we would remember that 738 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:10,760 acronym of joy that. Jesus comes first, others next, 739 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,520 and then. Yourself, ourselves would come. 740 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,320 Last, that's the true way to joy, not putting. 741 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,240 Ourselves on a pedestal. And living for ourselves. 742 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:23,440 Please help us all help. Me to love more and help 743 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:25,800 everyone who's listening to this. 744 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,600 To just have a greater. Love and a greater desire to 745 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,320 serve you, for we are in dark days. 746 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,200 And we need to shine. As lights. 747 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:36,040 For the Lord Jesus Christ. Please hear these things in 748 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,000 Jesus name. Amen. 749 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,560 Now if you want to know the video that caused such a. 750 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,880 Stir such a commotion. On divorce and you do still have 751 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,040 coffee left in your pot, well. You've got a few minutes. 752 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,760 Go and check this video. Out here because I think you'll 753 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,800 find it challenging, but also hopefully very helpful. 754 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,000 God bless you all and thank you for watching.