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This has been the worst month of
my life. 

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We've just lost our daughter. 
Nothing in life can prepare you 

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for a moment like this. 
And while you're still 

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processing everything that's 
just happened, there are many 

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arrangements that have to be 
planned. 

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One big question is where do we 
lay Anna's shell? 

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I say shell because the real 
Anna Grace Kirby is safe in the 

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everlasting arms of Jesus. 
So here we are. 

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Me and my wife Emma in the space
of a few days found ourselves. 

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I was travelling from town to 
town trying to find the right 

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site to Layana. 
But you want to see something 

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beautiful. 
Pretty much everywhere we went, 

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God kept blessing us with this 
beautiful flower. 

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The snowdrops are one of the 
earliest flowers to appear after

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the cold British winter. 
But OK, where am I going with 

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this? 
Well, snowdrops are just like 

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you, and they're just like me. 
If you've ever done any 

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gardening before, you'll have 
come across what we call a bulb.

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Bulbs go into the ground where 
they lie dormant. 

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On the surface, it looks like 
those snowdrops are finished. 

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There's no life in them. 
They've had their time, and now 

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they are gone forever. 
But when the sun shines on them,

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even if there's a cold frost, 
even if there's snow on the 

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ground, these snowdrops 
eventually return. 

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Those bulbs which were out of 
sight, out of mind, they will 

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one day produce flowers again 
when it is due season. 

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And you know something? 
This has really made me think 

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because our world is full of 
bulbs. 

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It's full of Christians who were
once part of the land of the 

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living, who once walked on 
earth, but their shell has been 

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put into the ground. 
However, when Christ returns, 

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all those believers will flower 
again. 

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They will be resurrected to 
eternal life with Christ. 

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The Bible says in Romans 8 verse
11. 

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But if the Spirit of him who 
raised Jesus from the dead 

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dwells in you, he who raised 
Christ from the dead will also 

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give life to your mortal bodies 
through his Spirit who dwells in

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you. 
Listen to this poem. 

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It was written on one of the 
memorial stones that caught my 

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eye as we were searching for 
somewhere to lay. 

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Anna, where are the snowdrops, 
Said the sun dead, said the 

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frost buried and lost everyone. 
A foolish answer, said the sun. 

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They did not die asleep. 
They lie, everyone, and I will 

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awake them. 
I the sun into the light, or 

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clad in white everyone. 
Oh my dear friend, if you are 

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trusting in Christ as your Lord 
and Savior, when you die and 

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when you are laid in the ground,
the world may say your time is 

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up. 
They will say you will never 

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come back. 
But it's all the Son of God has 

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to do is shine His resurrection 
light on you, and you will rise 

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again. 
Why? 

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Because He Himself is like a 
bulb that was laid in the 

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ground, dead, forgotten. 
But on the third day he rose 

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again, like a beautiful flower 
blooming in the spring. 

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The Lord Jesus Christ came back 
again. 

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Now may I ask you a personal 
question? 

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Are you grieving right now? 
Are you going through a 

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difficult season of life? 
If you are, where is the first 

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place in the Bible that you 
turn? 

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As you can imagine, my wife felt
the loss of Anna in a much more 

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intense way than I could ever 
feel. 

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She carried Anna, she gave birth
to her. 

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So where did Emma turn during 
this trial? 

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She went to the book of Job. 
Some people listening, I have no

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doubts have gone through a lot, 
but I doubt there's anyone who's

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experienced quite the same 
amount as this godly man Job in 

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the Bible. 
In one day he lost all of his 

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wealth, all ten of his children,
all of his reputation, and even 

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his wife turned on him and said 
curse the God that you love and 

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die. 
So after all this, how do you 

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think the scripture announces 
such a terrible ordeal? 

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Job one, verse 3 simply says, 
and there was a day. 

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I wonder how many of those days 
you've had. 

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Perhaps you can say there was a 
day a doctor gave me the news 

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that I didn't want to hear. 
Maybe you could say there was a 

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day my boss told me that I was 
losing my job. 

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There was a day I found out that
the one person I trusted with 

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everything decided to walk out 
of my life. 

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Come on guys, be honest with me.
We've all had those days. 

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I remember when I was 15 there 
was a day I got jumped and my 

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friends just watched and did 
nothing. 

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I remember there was a day when 
I was supposed to get my GCSE 

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exam results but instead a 
doctor told me that I needed to 

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stay in hospital because I 
needed to have urgent heart 

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surgery. 
I'll never forget that day. 

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There was a day when me and Emma
put all of our life savings into

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buying a house only to lose 
everything because there was one

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huge flaw that the house was 
hiding and that the surveyor had

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totally missed. 
Then there was a day when my 

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wife gave birth to our little 
girl who was born sleeping. 

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I'm going to choose my words 
carefully. 

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But as heartbreaking as those 
days are in your life and in 

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mine, they are needful. 
You see the unbeliever, they 

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look at the Christian during a 
crisis and they say, what kind 

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of a God do you serve? 
How does this God who says he 

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loves you, how can he do this to
his own children? 

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How Can you believe such a God 
like this exists? 

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What kind of a reward is that 
for you after all those years of

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faithful service? 
And yet for the Christian during

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the crisis, the Christian he has
never known. 

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Sweeter fellow fellowship with 
their God. 

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And even though this trial, it 
sends shivers down their spine, 

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they've never known anything 
like this. 

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In one sense, they don't want to
leave the trial because the Lord

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God is so close to them. 
When I sent my newsletter out 

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explaining what happened to us 
this month, a precious brother 

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in Christ emailed me with a 
quote from Charles Spurgeon. 

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Spurgeon once said those who 
dive in the sea of affliction 

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bring up rare pearls. 
May I go deeper? 

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Do you know how an oyster forms 
a Pearl? 

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It starts from a crisis. 
In that little oysters world, 

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what happens is a grain of sand 
or an unwanted material enters 

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into the oysters soft mantle and
so it creates discomfort as a 

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response. 
The oyster secrets an organic 

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protein which coats this foreign
material, this irritant in its 

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own smooth and shiny coating. 
And after many, many years of 

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doing in this process over and 
over, of many, many years of 

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having this discomfort, this 
crisis, if you like, eventually 

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a beautiful Pearl is formed. 
Am I talking to anyone here 

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today? 
Can you testify of the goodness 

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of God despite the fact that He 
allowed you to walk through 

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these dark times? 
Sorry, I shouldn't have said 

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that. 
OK. 

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No, He doesn't allow us to walk 
through those dark times because

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very often we don't walk through
them. 

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The Lord God carries us through 
them. 

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But after many, many years that 
you've had of trouble, your life

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has been filled with sorrow. 
Can you still say that you love 

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God? 
I'm sure you can. 

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You see, these crises that we 
all go through teach us so many 

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important lessons. 
And at the end of it, you've 

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probably become a better 
Christian, haven't you? 

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Even though at the time you 
couldn't see, you couldn't 

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understand, you couldn't fathom 
why God would bring this into 

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your life. 
But now you can see a wiser man 

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than me put it like this. 
God's Providence is like Hebrew.

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It can only be understood when 
you read it backwards. 

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And to quote our friend Charles 
Spurgeon again, he said, I have 

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learned to kiss the waves that 
throw me up against the Rock of 

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Ages. 
So I don't know what you're 

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going through right now, but I 
just want to say stay close to 

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the Lord. 
Don't ask the question. 

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Why? 
Why? 

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Why have you done this to me, 
God? 

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Because very often that gets us 
absolutely no word. 

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Instead, try asking this 
question, Lord God, what are you

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trying to teach me through this 
trial? 

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And if you remember one thing 
about Job, remember this Job 

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said, shall we indeed only 
accept good from God? 

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Shall we not accept adversity? 
You see, the very hand that 

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feeds you every day is God's 
hand. 

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He feeds you, doesn't He? 
Well, that same hand sometimes 

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brings a trial, a trouble. 
And may we, in that time of 

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trouble, hold on to that hand 
that has given us that trial. 

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May we hold on to the 
everlasting arms of God because 

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only He can hold us up. 
OK, now I do just want to say I 

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am sorry if this is the first 
time you're hearing about our 

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news. 
I did make a community post 

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explaining all about what had 
happened to us and about our 

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precious little girl Anna. 
Grace and I did also make a 

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detailed video 6 days, just six 
days after we lost her. 

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But I was so emotional in the 
video and we just felt it was it

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was too much personal details 
that we didn't really want it to

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go out across all of the 
Internet. 

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So just for now, we've decided 
to sit on it and not release it.

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However, I do actually have a 
few more things I would like to 

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share with a smaller audience 
with our readers on our 

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newsletter. 
So if you are someone who does 

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pray for us and does truly care 
about our gospel work, well, 

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please do sign up to our 
newsletter. 

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We'd like to share it with 
particularly our Off the Curb 

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family. 
You can sign up on Off the 

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curb.co.uk. 
And then there is something else

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I probably should mention. 
As you can probably tell, this 

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video is very different from my 
usual content as it was made 

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primarily for Christians. 
As you know, I usually try and 

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make evangelist videos that are 
for both non Christians and 

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Christians alike. 
But just for a little while, I 

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believe the Lord God wants me to
preach some more messages like 

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this just while we mourn over 
Anna, because there are some 

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particular things I believe that
He alone has laid on my heart 

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during this time. 
But if for any reason you are 

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listening to this and you're not
yet a Christian, or you're 

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unsure about where you're going 
when you die, would you do a 

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favour for me? 
Would you just click this video 

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and listen very carefully?