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Episode 8 Mutiny on the Odysseus.
Warning. Warning.
Ship losing altitude. Warning, warning.
This bird is going down mites. The Starship Odysseus is falling
through the sky. Ha ha ha ha ha air mites.
We found our air. You insane maniac.
This is Starship, it can't fly through here.
Yes, it can once. Look below, Comrade Planet
Pushkin, our new home. We are going to crash you pea
brained lunatic. Tell your goon to let me go.
Who are you calling goon? Oh, ain't no goon.
I got a nine. It's Mick.
Mick, you are an idiot. Let me go.
We'll let you go, Mike, once we're down on the surface.
And will somebody get this damn cat off the bridge?
I think he's kinda cute. Aussie forgive the cat, This is
mutiny. Your captain abandoned us
forever, Doctor. Tear off.
It's jungle law now. Survival of the fittest.
Soon we'll be living in the real jungle thanks to you landing on
quarantined planet Insanity. Better to fight for our lives in
a jungle than a slowly suffocating space.
We need air Doctor, and this planet is full of it.
Yes, I can hear that air washing over our hole.
I do not like the sound of fear whooshing over Starship holes.
Yo Mile, the captain trusted me. He leaves me watching Odysseus
for 5 minutes and I'm dealing with mutiny.
An Australian madman, A moronic goon.
I already said my name's Mick and my Starship falling through
sky and all because Captain. Captain.
What the hell is that? It's the captain.
It's Captain Thorn. That's his shuttle.
Over there, he's. Flying back to us.
Oh. Bloody hell.
Oh Aussie, as we say in Motor Russia, you were in deep deep
demo. Oh.
Sweet Mother Mary. Look at her boss.
I can see her just above my sweet, sweet Starship Odysseus
falling from space. We leave for one day, one day
and this happens. Fly the shuttle faster, captain
to Odysseus. We must stop her fall.
I'm flying as fast as I can Ledbetter.
This shuttle only reaches 7 turrets.
Seven what Turovs. It's a new unit of measurement.
Dr. Turov invented it. He claims it's necessary to
compensate for Andromeda's higher drag from the local Higgs
field. I think he just likes the sound
of his own name. In any case, 7 isn't very fast.
Huh. I've told you 100 times,
Captain, these shuttles are unacceptably slow.
Now if we were flying a Gammy. Shuttle in mother.
Of carburetors look. At her, My girl, my Odysseus,
she ain't meant to fly through nowhere.
I'm coming. Girl, I'm coming for you, Cap.
Fly faster, will you? I can't fly faster.
Captain. Come in, Captain.
It's Turov. Turov, can you hear?
Us your units are too slow. Never mind that now, LED Turov.
What's going on inside the mother ship?
The natives have gone crazy. Captain, heal me.
There's a mid Australian stomping about and this goon is
grabbing me. My name's Mick.
Open the airlock, Turov, we're coming in.
Turov, you listen to me. Don't you dare crash my ship.
You hear me? I'm killing you, Frankie.
It's not me. It's this crazy.
Cap. That airlock door.
It's only halfway. Open you.
Better slow down. Something jam the door.
It must be the saboteur. Hold on, we're flying in Gab.
Gab, you'll never fit. Slow down.
Slow. Ha ha, nice flying captain.
You knocked the door off my. Airlock.
Oh my. Odysseus, my baby girl.
Oh, not to. Mention you scratched up the
hangar floor do cap. If we can't get this bird back
in space, you'll have a lot more to worry about than a broken
airlock and a scratched deck. Come on out of the shuttle,
Frankie, you install the oxygen tank LED.
You're coming with me to the bridge to.
War. Let go of the yoke, you Luna
Dick. Not going to happen, Doc.
We're going down. Give them Schrodinger A.
Dick a Dick. Damn cat.
Now give me back that yoke, you Australian imbecile.
I thought I tied you up. Looks like I'm going to have to
knock you out. Mick, grab him again.
I'll punch him. I'm grabbing him boss.
Again with the grabbing you goon again with the goon.
I already told you mate, I ain't no goon.
Hold em steady Mick, I'm gonna knock his lights out.
Plan Beather. Welcome back.
I never imagined I'd ever love seeing your big ugly face so
much. Time to crush bones.
Get em mites. Ha ain't taking on that thing.
Aussie. Run, Run forward everyone.
Run. Run for your lives.
Come back here, cowards. Your bones demand a crushing.
Captain, Captain Thorne, I'm so glad to see.
You save the pleasantries, Dr. Turov.
We got to get this bird back in space.
If you don't mind, I'll take a seat at the helm.
Oh, sorry, Schrodinger. I didn't see you were sitting
there. Oh, that's better.
We're gaining some altitude now. The air is thinning.
Oh, thank Einstein's mustache. All right, we're up in the
stratosphere now, and here comes good old space.
That was a close one. Take a deep breath, everyone.
Smoke them if you got them. Please nobody smoke on the
bridge of my Starship. Frankie, come in.
Yo Gap, it's me. I I plugged in the oxygen tank.
She's flowing through the system.
Well, we only need to do this about another dozen times or so.
In any case, we better take the shuttle back down to the surface
and refill the tank. Oh, no need kep.
Guess what? The ship's already restocked
with air. Fully restocked.
What? How?
The oxygen levels were almost down to nothing.
Don't tell me that one tank we brought filled the entire.
Ship. Well, Kep, it's a funny thing.
Remember when the Odysseus was flying in the sky and you blew
open a rear lock? Yes, I seem to recall something
like that. Well, Kemp, looks like the
Odysseus took a deep breath. She sucked up a big.
Chunk of sky. Right through her broken
airlock, her filters kicked in, removing.
All the toxins. We're overflowing with sweet,
sweet air. Well, looks like I saved the
day, didn't I? Being the one who blew the
airlock open. Actually, Captain, it's the
crazy bastard Ozzie who saved us.
His insanity drove the ship into the sky.
Well, frankly, boys, I'm giving my girl Odysseus all the credit.
She's the one who figured out how to breathe.
You ever seen another Starship breathe?
Cap, I'm telling you, my girl's alive.
You are a strange man. Frankie Gitchadore That's right,
it's Ledbetter's cat who saved the ship Schrodinger.
He attacked the mutineers with his sharp little claws.
That cat is about as intelligent as his master and twice as
deadly. Speaking of Ledbetter, I better
go check on him. Charging head first into a crowd
of mutineers can't be too good for your.
Health. I'll watch the bridge, captain.
Actually, the last time I left the bridge under your command,
the Starship nearly fell apart. Literally.
I better stay here with you and let Ledbetter do his thing.
Take a listen. You can actually hear him in the
distance. Come.
Back wigglings, I have more bones to crush.
More bones. How many has he crushed already?
Yo Mile, you let the wild animal loose, Captain.
I hold no sympathy for Ozzy and his unwashed minions, mind you,
but I'm not sure we want lit bitter killing anyone.
Well, maybe I should check on him.
I Turov, do you see that? What is that?
Where? What am I looking at?
On the central screen, look ahead.
Doctor Turov ships alien ships. Oh yo my yo,
hey yo, you lost ship listeners, It's Frankie Gadget Dorio VE.
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Back to the cargo hole. Cowards.
Cowards who run like mice. I will crush you mutineers.
Aussie, he's getting closer. Or I can see he's getting
closer. Run faster, Mick.
Aussie He saw what he did to Ollie, he snapped.
His army did. He'll do the same to us.
Through the doorway. Everyone get in.
Get into the cargo hold. Hurry up everyone into the cargo
hold before the base gets here. Aren't you coming, Ozzy?
Someone's got to man the door. He'll kill you, mate.
You saw what he did to Ollie. Go Mick into the hold.
Go with the others. I'll hold them back.
God bless you, Ozzy. Come on everyone.
Into the hold. Ah, there you are, the
mutineers. Yeah, too late, Mike.
This door is solid steel and the others are safe behind it.
You think I can't break down that?
Door not with me in the way. You.
You are nothing. I can break the holes of
starships with my fists. I will.
Yeah, I know. Crush my bones.
But here's the thing, my I might not be a Gainey berserker, but I
know how to fight. I fought all my life since I was
a kid on the streets. You think I survived the Hydrian
Holocaust because I'm a nice guy?
I will break you. You will lose.
I don't doubt that mine, but I can slow you down.
By the time you're done with me, the door will be barricaded from
the inside and my people will be organized with weapons.
And even you can't defeat 500. I'll gladly sacrifice my life
for them. You speak like some noble hero,
but you are a mutineer. You took over the bridge and
plunged us into the sky to get. Air, we were suffocating, mate.
The oxygen was down to 3%. We couldn't wait for you and the
captain to come back. We did what we had to do.
You do not convince me. You you would have obeyed
orders. We'd have died.
Then you should have died with honor.
Looks like I still might. There's no honor in slowly
suffocating just to obey orders. But there is honor in this.
So come at me, barbarian. You and me EarthLink to Ganny.
I will not kill you, but I will thoroughly hurt you for Ganny
Mead, for honor. Shut up and just fight.
Now hold on. Hold your horses, everyone.
What's this I am hearing about of fighting and dying?
Ain't nobody fighting or dying on my ship.
No, not today. Not if old Doc Clemons has any
say in it. Oh, I never heard of you.
That is Emmett Clemons, the chief medical officer of the
Odysseus. Now now, no need for them fancy
titles. Call me Doc or old Clem if you
don't mind to. Now I may just be an old fool,
but I don't rightly see why if there's only 500 humans in this
here Galaxy, two of them are hearkening to kill each other.
Seems to me, old fool that I am, that.
Every human life. Is more precious than ever.
I wasn't. Going to kill.
Him just hurt him, yes. Like you hurt that boy Ollie
back there, is that it? Poor fella came into my medical
Bay hollering in a hooting about some bull charging through the
ship. Now I might only let me be an
old country saw bones and not knowledgeable in your Starship
ways, but I ain't never heard of no bull charging down Starship
corridors. I reckon that was a wild
lidbetter that steamrolled over that boy, am I right?
I wouldn't say I steamrolled over him, Doc.
His leg is flat as a pancake. It's going to take me all months
to grow my new one. Well, well, it's been dice since
the Odysseus took us refugees aboard.
And now, now I learned this, doctor.
We have wounded men. We have sick children.
Where were you all this time, Doc?
Now, don't you be chesting me, Sonny boy.
I've been busy. This ship once had a crew of
nearly 100. Now they're down to barely a
dozen. Most were wounded or killed in
the hydrine attack. Did you know that, Sir?
I I did not. I've been fighting for the lives
of the wounded, Sonny. I haven't lift their bedside
since that portal tossed this all Topsy, Turvy, and Andromeda.
And I know your people have their share of medical problems,
but my nurses have been taking good care of you and yours,
haven't they? They.
Have. So hush that fuss, boy.
Get them ants out of your breeches.
As we say down in Kentucky, that means calm down.
You'll be all right. Now.
We got a good captain here aboard this ship, and don't you
forget it. That good captain, he left us
without air. Maybe so for a.
Spell. But he came back with air, just
like he said. You're breathing now, ain't ya?
Then the man kept his word. Am I lying?
You're not lying. Well, now I might only be an old
country doctors, and my eyes ain't what they used to be, but
I can still tell a good man from a low down varmint, and Captain
Thorn ain't no varmint but. The mutineer is and I must break
him. Now settle down there, Mr.
Ledbetter. Ain't nobody going to break no
nobody else not on my watch. Now, I might not be a warrior,
and I'm certainly ain't no Gani Berserker, and I might not know
a wrestling hold from a hole in the ground, but I do know what
honor is. And Mr. Osmond here, the only
one they call Ozzy, he's a man of honor.
But dog, he took over the ship. He tied up Turov.
I've wanted to tie up Doctor Turov myself once or twice,
especially when he skips his cheeks up.
Now, now. I ain't.
Condoning mutiny and I ain't saying it was right to trust up
a bridge officer, but I am saying that there's room in the
heart of a man, even a gany man, to.
Forgive, forgive. No Doc, we cannies never
forgive. We are renowned for our
legendary ability to hold grudges.
Well, them hold them to yourself, Mr. Ledbetter.
Now, I ain't saying we sweep this whole thing under the rug,
mind you, Mr. Osmond will stand trial.
I might just be an old country saw bones, but I'm also an
officer aboard this year. Starship and the laws.
The law, Mr. Osmond broke it, but that doesn't mean you have
to break him. Is that clear, Mr. Ledbetter?
This Doc Hozzy, you may sneak away as a coward.
Until next time, mites. For now, I've got 500 refugees
to look after. We should have never taken that
man aboard. Well, the day old Earth fell was
a tough 1A tragic day. I dare say it was the worst day
I ever lived. When the Hydreans took over the
world, I flat out broke down and wept.
We saved whoever we could that day. 500 souls, that's all.
But to me, each one is pure and precious.
There was only one pure, precious soul.
Her name was Darsa. And oh, Mr. Ledbetter, Hi.
I did my best to save her. Sunny.
I'm sorry, I couldn't. Is that your purse making that
noise, Mr. Ledbetter? It is not a purse, it's a Danny
Warrior pouch. No Sir, your pouch is a purring.
My cat must have sneaked inside. Schrodinger likes to ride in
this pouch. Hey, yo, lead, this is Frankie
calling from engineering down here.
Hey, come get your cat. Schrodinger's down here knocking
over all my tools. Gosh Dang it, Schrodinger.
Wait, if Schrodinger's down in engineering then?
What would that pouch, Mr. Ledbetter?
And let's see what's wrong with it.
What? Is that Oh?
My Sonny boy, that is definitely no cat.
Well, easing face just perfect, we finally get past the flying
armadillos, scoop up air, crush mutiny, escape a planet's
gravity and do things finally go our way?
Of course not. Of course more aliens show up
because these sees Andromeda Galaxy and nothing here goes
well for longer than 5 minutes. Are you done, Doctor Turov?
Ah, Captain, I'm done. Good, because those 3 alien
ships look mean. We might have to think smart.
And when it comes to thinking smart, you're the best we've
got. Scary situation, isn't it
Captain? They're just floating there,
three ships not attacking, but those are cannons, mark my
words, and they're pointing our way.
They don't want us to get too far away from Planet Pushkin, it
seems. More bastagers, protectors of
the quarantine. I don't think so, Captain.
We don't have too much experience with bastagers, of
course, but the one we did the fight, he was flying in a giant
floating fortress. Those three ships ahead?
Definitely not fortresses. They look almost like asteroids.
Null, round and lumpy. But they are made of metal and
there's life inside. I bet you that much computer
open a hailing frequency. Hailing.
Frequency open, Sir. Breeding ships.
I'm Jack Thorne, captain of the HSS Odysseus.
I come in peace. If you'll excuse me, we'll be on
our way. Streaming visual to screen
hello. Captain.
Dear God, what is that? You have been listening to Lost
Ship, a weekly podcast. This has been Episode 8, Mutiny
on the Odysseus, written and published by Daniel Aronson,
performed and produced by Bobby Garrison.
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