1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,840 Overall, when we're speaking about leaders in general, so 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:08,400 maybe across any type of situation, any type of industry, 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:13,600 how would you say leaders can reframe chaos as a creative tool 4 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,760 rather than a threat? Stop reframing. 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,080 It's one of the worst things you can, because what we're talking 6 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:22,040 about is a paradigm shift. Running with broken legs? 7 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,200 That's a paradigm shift. 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Welcome to The Kingdom's 39 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,760 podcast, where we share the stories of extraordinary people 40 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,960 and dissect hot, relevant topics that shape our world. 41 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,000 From visionary leaders to trailblazing creatives, we 42 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,360 uncover the mindset, strategy, and grit behind greatness. 43 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,880 Whether it's business, culture, or personal growth, we ask the 44 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,320 real questions. This isn't just conversation, 45 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,880 it's transformation. The Kingdom's podcast Your next 46 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,080 breakthrough? Starts here. 47 00:01:55,240 --> 00:02:00,840 Music licensing reimagined. In your life, ladies and 48 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,840 gentlemen, you'll once again welcome to the Kingdom's 49 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:08,880 podcast, Diary of the CFO and the Medium Dollar Greenprint 50 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,720 podcast through Inward. Why? 51 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:18,680 Because today I've got a very, very, very important guest Keepo 52 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:23,480 VIP welcome fighting out of new. Jersey, United States of 53 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,880 America. Teddy Santos. 54 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:35,520 And when the action begins, the Co host in the studio is Noeler, 55 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:45,840 the world's best sales expert. You also get welcome Teddy, not 56 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,960 Teddy Pendergrass, but Teddy Santos. 57 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,680 How are you doing today, Sir? I'm doing alright. 58 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,880 You only you only forgot one line. 59 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:59,040 Let's get ready to rumble. Let's get ready to rumble. 60 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,240 Let's go. Whoa. 61 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:07,120 It is it is really, really amazing having you on the 62 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,640 podcast. You're somebody that we 63 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:14,800 appreciate beyond words. And it's, it's great to have the 64 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:19,880 great philosophers of your time, the great minds of your time. 65 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,080 It's a privilege. You know, growing up, I, I did 66 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,600 read a lot of the ancient philosophers and wish I could 67 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,520 have conversations with them. Well, now I'm privileged, right? 68 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:34,000 And now the stars have aligned. Everyone is in blue. 69 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,520 Wow. So sit back. 70 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,440 You know why? We'll give you your flowers by 71 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:45,120 you or the leadership disruptor turning peers will to 72 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:50,680 breakthroughs champions today. Our guest is a powerhouse in 73 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,520 leadership transformation. A man who doesn't just talk 74 00:03:54,520 --> 00:04:00,840 about break engineers, then Ted Santos is the CEO of Turn Around 75 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,280 Investment Partners and the creator of the Disruptive 76 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,880 Leadership model. Has spent over 2 decades 77 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,960 transforming struggling companies into industry leaders 78 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:17,160 and helping CEOs master cares, build resilience, and create 79 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,920 what others call impossible. From Wall Street boardrooms to 80 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:27,120 Innovation labs, Ted has 1 mission to turn chaos into 81 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,320 Breakers. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and 82 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:34,400 girls, let's make welcome the leadership disruptor himself at 83 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,800 the one and only Scientist. Thank you. 84 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,400 You'll see hands of my Co host because I'm too pumped for this. 85 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,200 I have to pay the gas prices because I'm gas stock. 86 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,760 So, Ted, I'm so happy to have you here. 87 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,080 It was lovely meeting you the other day and getting a little 88 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,400 bit of insight into who you are as a leader and what really 89 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:03,560 makes you an expert in chaos. Basically, it's amazing to hear 90 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,400 you're known for our audience who may not know who you are. 91 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:11,440 You're actually known for helping leaders create problems 92 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:16,360 intentionally, and to a lot of people that's a really radical 93 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,800 concept. What inspired the birth of the 94 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:24,080 disruptive leadership model that you are in charge of? 95 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,160 So first I want to say thank you both. 96 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,800 I also enjoyed our conversation a few days ago. 97 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:36,240 So my pleasure to be here and to have this kind of conversation, 98 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:41,000 especially with people who can appreciate counterintuitive ways 99 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,720 of seeing the world or counterintuitive mindset. 100 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:51,080 And I would say I learned at a very young age that disruption, 101 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:55,760 breakdowns, problems, chaos could have the effect of pulling 102 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,720 extraordinary out of people. So I I learned that at a very 103 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:02,600 young age. That's amazing. 104 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,800 Is there maybe when you say you were in that at a really young 105 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:12,480 age, is there maybe a memory or like a job you had or maybe a 106 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,720 relationship with a family member that kind of sparked that 107 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,520 early on? When I say young, I mean like 108 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,240 really young. I was six years old and I saw my 109 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,520 mother run with two broken legs. Oh wow. 110 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,240 Right. So it was New Year's Eve and she 111 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:35,480 had taken at the time, so I'm the oldest of four children now, 112 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,360 but at that time there were only three. 113 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:41,040 And she took us to New Year's Eve party at her mother's house 114 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,640 in the neighboring town. And she comes home, I don't 115 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,960 know, I, it's dark, so I'm sleep in the front seat. 116 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,400 And normally we would have been in the back seat, but she drove 117 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,000 her brother and his wife home and figured she didn't want to 118 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,800 wake children up. So she just drives home and it 119 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:03,160 could be 456 in the morning. And I wake up and the tree is 120 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,000 wrapped. I'm sorry, the car is wrapped 121 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,760 around a tree. And so I'm sitting right next to 122 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:13,080 her in front of the radio. So I'm cut nose broken, blood, 123 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,240 knee gashed. And my brother and sister are 124 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:21,240 we're all crying and I look over to my mother and she's gone. 125 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,760 So I'm just tall enough to look over the dashboard and I watch 126 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,760 her run. I mean, I'd seen my mother run 127 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:31,320 and she ran just like always. And she runs home, my father's 128 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:35,080 home with his cousin. They come out the house in no 129 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:39,400 time, pick us up, take us to the hospital and that's that. 130 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:43,720 But I learned my mother had two broken legs and a broken arm and 131 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:47,720 I saw her run. So that that event changed my 132 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:54,040 life because I was thinking if she can run with two broken legs 133 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:58,240 and she it was about 100 yards from home and I saw it. 134 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,840 I thought human beings have something really special in them 135 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,600 and we just don't know how to get it. 136 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:10,880 So how do you get that? So at nine years old, I start 137 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,920 studying human behavior. I wanted to understand people. 138 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,840 I also wanted to understand women and dating. 139 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:23,840 So I studied a lot about women and biology and, and sexuality 140 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:27,280 and dating and what women liked and didn't liked and, and then I 141 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:31,280 started studying all people and you start studying neuroscience 142 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,919 and I'm just, you know, a young guy. 143 00:08:32,919 --> 00:08:35,679 I'm not even in college yet and I'm learning all of these 144 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:38,880 things. And I didn't see it as research. 145 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:44,760 It was just me searching for this thing that I'm going to 146 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,320 pull out and at 11, I start working out. 147 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,960 I wanted to have cut. I wanted to build this body that 148 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:54,040 could do great things. And I'm 5 foot six. 149 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:59,000 I weighed 143 lbs and I was dunking basketballs, which is 150 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,120 not normal for someone my height. 151 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:05,680 And I played US football and I played the position of the 152 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:09,280 biggest guy on the field, which was the defensive nose guard. 153 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:15,000 And I was the way I trained as I trained, like I trained to run 154 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,920 with broken legs. Mm hmm. 155 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:21,440 So I had that mindset from six. And you know, I'm, I'm 156 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,840 researching things where the woman lifts the car off of her 157 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,360 child and you, you hear all of these miraculous things and you 158 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,080 know that people are doing them. And I witnessed it watching my 159 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,240 mother run. So I know there's something 160 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,480 there. And I'm, I'm committed, like 161 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:42,920 highly committed to pulling it out in my training is around 162 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:46,760 running with broken legs, being able to do that now and not 163 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,960 later. And so that gave me the mindset 164 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,600 to train through sports to be a high performer. 165 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,040 And it spilled over into other things. 166 00:09:56,080 --> 00:10:01,840 And then the second major disruption happened when I was 167 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:06,840 21, and I received a phone call, and that call changed my life 168 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:10,440 forever. And what I was told on that call 169 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,440 is both my parents were no longer alive. 170 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:19,720 And so now I'm at 21, my brother's 19, and my two sisters 171 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,040 were 12 and 16. I'm taking over the family. 172 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,440 And I still have that mindset of running with broken legs. 173 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,560 And what I learned about leadership in the face of chaos 174 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:33,600 and disruption and what I saw my brother and sisters be able to 175 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:38,680 do this was just more confirmation that in the face of 176 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:43,480 disruption, chaos, breakdowns, problems, that people have 177 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,000 something in them and they can do extraordinary. 178 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,360 I saw my sisters do extraordinary things, things 179 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,840 that you wouldn't expect a 12 or 16 year old to do and kind of 180 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,160 fast forwarding. But when I became a chief 181 00:10:55,160 --> 00:11:00,200 operating officer, literally all of those things that I learned 182 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:04,280 from my parents death were transferred and being able to 183 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,120 lead other people. How do you coach people up to do 184 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,720 things they don't know how to do? 185 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:14,120 And how do you turn a mediocre or a good team into an 186 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,960 extraordinary, a really high performing team and so high 187 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:22,400 performing that they don't even need you unless it's like really 188 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:27,560 important, so self-contained. And when you have that, when you 189 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:31,120 understand as a leader how to create those problems first, how 190 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:35,600 to coach your people up so that they can be able to effectively 191 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:39,200 navigate the chaos without falling apart, it allows you as 192 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,320 a leader to look at other possibilities that can be 193 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,320 disruptive. And your team has the capacity 194 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,920 and nimbleness to be able to take on new possibilities that 195 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:53,360 turn into break. So first of all, thank you so 196 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,520 much for sharing that about your past, about your story, about 197 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:01,760 the roots of really where this first type of belief system came 198 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,560 about to the point where you've learned how to completely 199 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:11,960 transform chaos into leadership. This is such a valuable skill, 200 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,800 not just for, you know, this is a skill. 201 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,800 And I said this the other day too, that just as individuals, 202 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:23,320 this is something that as individuals, we try so hard to 203 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:27,440 figure out how to pinpoint the chaos in our lives and kind of 204 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:31,040 transmute it into this successful energy or something 205 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,680 that actually helps us instead of hurting us. 206 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,680 Or something that moves beyond that framework. 207 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:41,080 Or even maybe that mindset that we were in at the time that that 208 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,840 chaos came about in our lives. And you're able to actually do 209 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:49,320 that for entire businesses, you're able to completely 210 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,560 restructure their framework. And that is just such an 211 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:58,760 impactful skill that I would just say is invaluable 100% 212 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,440 overall when we're speaking about leaders in general. 213 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:08,360 So maybe across any type of situation, any type of industry, 214 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:14,160 how would you say leaders can reframe chaos as a creative tool 215 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,760 rather than a threat? Stop reframing. 216 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:22,440 It's one of the worst things you can, because what we're talking 217 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,400 about is a paradigm shift running with broken legs. 218 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,200 That's a paradigm shift leading, serving as a, you know, in a 219 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,920 leadership capacity. When your parents died, there's 220 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,240 a Are you all familiar with Malcolm Gladwell? 221 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,440 Yeah, the guy that that wrote the book off Liar. 222 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,040 Right, outlier tipping point. He has another book David and 223 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,040 Goliath. It's it's worth reading when in 224 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,160 daviding. OK. 225 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:53,120 And outlier is really good because the sort of punchline is 226 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,440 if you practice something for 10,000 hours, you achieve 227 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:57,880 mastery. Yes. 228 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,280 So if you think about, you know, me starting to study human 229 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:07,120 behavior at 9, by the time I was 18, I probably had 10,000 hours 230 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:10,600 of studying, research and understanding human behavior. 231 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:14,120 But in his book David and Goliath, he talks about how the 232 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:20,840 premises with David and Goliath, David's disadvantage served as 233 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:24,360 an advantage for him in the long run because he wasn't as big as 234 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,800 David as Goliath. Sorry, he had to develop 235 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,840 weaponry that would support him to be an opponent that was 236 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:38,360 significantly larger. And so his smaller size gave him 237 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:42,440 the advantage of intelligence to use a weapon, a slingshot, and 238 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:46,480 he defeated Goliath. So in that book, he talks about 239 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:51,360 how losing a parent around the age of 20 is an unfortunate 240 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:56,600 situation that is no different than David's miss for, you know, 241 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:01,400 he said people who lose a parent develop these leadership skills. 242 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:04,480 And one of the things that comes out of it is the loss of a 243 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,680 parent creates chaos. So when that person is leading a 244 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:14,760 company, they will they will see the chaos in the company as not 245 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,760 as extreme as the chaos they dealt with with the parent's 246 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:21,160 death. And I remember one specific day, 247 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,840 because this company was growing so fast, it was falling apart. 248 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,960 They couldn't sustain it. And I remember standing away 249 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:33,160 from everyone and saying, well, I've seen chaos. 250 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:37,720 I've seen massive chaos when my parents died and I worked 251 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,960 through that. And this is not even as extreme 252 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,800 as that. And I'll definitely be able to 253 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,360 work through this. So it gave me this sort of 254 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:51,160 stable foundation to not lose focus of why I was there to lead 255 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:55,720 a company. So part of that I'm saying you 256 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,920 don't want to reframe it. Mm hmm. 257 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,200 You want to be able to confront it and go through it. 258 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,440 You don't want to try and make it something that's more 259 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:10,680 digestible or this feels better. Let's call it a challenge or 260 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,480 it's a chaos, it's a breakdown, it's a problem. 261 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:20,320 And some of those come that you don't see coming, like a 262 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:25,840 pandemic or an economic crisis. And if you're more nimble to 263 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:31,320 intentionally create chaos and problems, then when something 264 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:35,080 comes from the competition, from the economy, from a pandemic or 265 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:39,920 some other global event, you are in a better position to be able 266 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:45,520 to navigate that than someone who is just, we always did it 267 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,760 this way and we know how to do it, and we're good. 268 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,360 And then the disruption comes and it's like what you used to 269 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,240 do is obsolete now what do you do? 270 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,360 So you're you are that you're at a disadvantage and you'll have 271 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,720 to play catch up with the person or the organization that's much 272 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,280 more nimble. Absolutely. 273 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,960 So reframing, Reframing shrinks you as a leader. 274 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,800 It's because then it becomes something you're already, once 275 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,880 you say, have to reframe it. You're already talking about 276 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,880 avoiding something and there's no power in avoiding anything. 277 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,680 It's my work. A lot of it is very much about 278 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,000 going head on and dealing with things instead of trying to, 279 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:30,520 well, let's, let's figure out a positive affirmation to make us 280 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:34,120 all feel better. It's it's not about feelings and 281 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:37,400 in a cold thing to say is facts are not feelings. 282 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,440 I mean feelings are not facts. Sorry. 283 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,720 Feelings are not facts. They're just feelings that you 284 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:50,040 have and they will derail you. I really appreciate what you 285 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:54,600 talked about, you know, the resilience that you build from 286 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:59,720 creating chaos intentional. And of course, you spoke about 287 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:04,480 the pandemic, right? And it reminds me of what I was 288 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,200 doing at the time of the pandemic. 289 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:10,960 I was working with PwC, that's the world's second largest 290 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:16,160 accounting event. And before the pandemic, we were 291 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,200 already discussing the possibility of, you know, remote 292 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,280 working. And I was one of the equivalents 293 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:25,160 of, you know, that style of working. 294 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:29,960 I love remote working. And there was this team at PwC 295 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,920 on PCM PCs, continuity management. 296 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:41,600 So they 38 strategies, you know, for the continuity of the peace 297 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,760 test, even in the face of, you know, what you call an act of 298 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:50,280 God, you know, crisis, economical crisis, political 299 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,920 crisis or whatever crisis, right? 300 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,840 But these test has to continue. And I remember they were testing 301 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,680 the possibility of remote working. 302 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,480 I was one of the people who did the better testing. 303 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:05,560 You know, we're working from a hotel accommodation, working 304 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:11,840 from home and all, and we tried to test the disruptions, right? 305 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,720 What happens? There's disruption to the Wi-Fi 306 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,560 at the office, right? We have the backup, right? 307 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:24,520 We also gave the all staff members, I think backup Internet 308 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,320 for them to use in their homes, right? 309 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,040 So you don't need the, the pandemic was coming. 310 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,360 So when the pandemic heats, it was just plod and play. 311 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,120 We're all just working from home. 312 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,000 It just felt like then nothing happened. 313 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,960 And, you know, a lot of the competition were adversely 314 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,720 affected, you know, by the pandemic. 315 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:51,200 I I got promoted in that year, that same year that the pandemic 316 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,000 happened. And I think I even bought my 317 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,240 yeah, I think I bought a Mercedes SUV in that same year. 318 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,920 You know, it just felt like. When there's a casting down for 319 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,360 others, there's a lifting up flow for me, just like the Bible 320 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,960 sees. But The thing is, it comes with 321 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,880 being prepared for these disruptions, right? 322 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:16,920 And I think that is like a classic organizational example 323 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,640 of what's your body of work strongly stands for. 324 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,520 Very good story. And I'd also like to distinguish 325 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,920 something. I think when most people say 326 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:32,000 resilience, they're talking about an event happens and they 327 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,520 recover. What you just described is not 328 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,920 resilience. That's preparedness, that's 329 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,040 training. You all trained for a pandemic. 330 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,280 You didn't know it, but you trained for it. 331 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:46,680 And it's no different than an athlete that trains a guy like 332 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,920 Michael Jordan trains to have three defenders on him and still 333 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,720 be able to score. MM Hmm. 334 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,560 So it's it's it's resilience is recovery. 335 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,600 It has its value, but my work is really about being able to 336 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,600 navigate in real time and go through the eye of the storm. 337 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:10,160 I thi I think I, I sort of disagree with the definition of, 338 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,640 you know, the bounce back when it comes to our resilience, 339 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:18,200 because I, I have the word resilience up here. 340 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,920 AI overview on Google, right. It says resilience is the 341 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:26,600 ability to cope with adversity and to bounce back from 342 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,520 stressful situations, trauma or misfortune, right. 343 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,400 It can also refer to a material's capacity to resume 344 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,800 its original shape after being deformed. 345 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,840 So in psychological contexts, resilience involves developing 346 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:44,720 behaviors, thoughts and actions that help you to adapt to change 347 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,520 and stress. So I think people look at the 348 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,680 other half of the word just to bounce back. 349 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:54,680 But it is also about, you know, coping and driving through 350 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,160 adversity. So it's more like you have an 351 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:02,080 elastic elasticity basically, right, of a bacteria and it's 352 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,600 able to withstand pressure. That's my own definition of 353 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,520 resilience. I hope I'm not being 354 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,080 misunderstood. No, I I get it and I'm asking 355 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,240 you to consider. I'm not saying that. 356 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,280 Oh, OK, OK, OK, yeah. And of course, you know, I, I'm 357 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,840 trying to define properly what, in what context I'm using 358 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,200 resilience. So the ability to adapt, you 359 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:28,680 know, and drive through adversity, not just about. 360 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,280 Right, right. So, so when you talk about 361 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:35,040 paradigm shifts, when you talk about adaptation, you're talking 362 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,520 about you have an existing paradigm and you can adapt 363 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:42,080 within that paradigm and you can make that paradigm better where 364 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:46,760 you can recover, you can do more of it, or you can do something 365 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,480 different. What you've adapted, that's not 366 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,440 what I'm talking about. OK, we're we're talking about 367 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,400 two very different worlds. OK, you're talking about the 368 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:59,440 world of improvement and improvements have a place. 369 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,280 But when you talk about intentionally creating 370 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,240 breakdowns, that's that's not an. 371 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:11,000 So let's kind of walk through the process that you're talking 372 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:17,200 about, that you're an expert on that has shaped businesses from, 373 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:21,480 you know, the point where they're falling apart to the now 374 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,480 they can thrive, Now they can thrive. 375 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:29,120 Can you walk us through maybe a real life turn around story to 376 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:33,440 where we're embracing chaos and it led to the extraordinary 377 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,280 results? You know, let's talk about the 378 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:39,240 breaking point, how we had to embrace chaos, strategic 379 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,360 disruption, and obviously the results. 380 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:46,360 But I think that's going to help a lot to give us some more 381 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:49,480 insight. Give us a real life example of 382 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,840 your plan in action. Sure. 383 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,680 So improvements and that's the paradigm that we're given. 384 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:01,080 We're given the paradigm where, OK, we want to make this better. 385 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,760 If that doesn't work, we'll do it differently. 386 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,320 And if that doesn't do, we'll just do more of what we've been 387 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,880 doing and that will make it better. 388 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:12,600 So it's it's taking what you know and stacking on that 389 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,400 something more better or different. 390 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:19,520 And so perhaps the best way to start the path of this 391 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:23,560 conversation is the first thing for me to engage the two of you 392 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,760 with a question. My question is, can you give me 393 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,280 an example of something you both know? 394 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,360 The alphabet. Great. 395 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,440 Perfect. No, no, that's that's so 396 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,680 perfect. It's just really simple, 397 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:40,880 elegant. Do you want to add anything to 398 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:45,120 that or something you know? I know nothing. 399 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,680 I'm John Snow. Whoa. 400 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,480 Alphabets are simple. OK, let's say numbers. 401 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,520 Perfect. So you know numbers, you know 402 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,520 the alphabet. We can comfortably say you both 403 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,800 know how to speak English. So these are things that you 404 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,160 know. Now give me an example of 405 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:07,480 something you don't know and you know that you don't know it. 406 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,280 I know that I don't know how to speak fluent German. 407 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,440 Perfect, perfect. You want to copy that example? 408 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:28,800 I know, I don't know the tribes that exist in Costa Rica, but 409 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:29,760 I'd be. Perfect. 410 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,400 Good. Well, and if, if Noela you 411 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,800 wanted to learn German, there are resources, there are plenty 412 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,960 of places you can go hire a a teacher. 413 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,920 You know you can, you can learn German, you can go to Germany. 414 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,720 There are many things. And if you want to know the 415 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:52,320 tribes in Costa Rica, you can look it up on the Internet or 416 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:57,880 you can go to Costa Rica and damn, what's the name of that 417 00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:59,760 tribe? I actually lived in Costa Rica. 418 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:05,680 So there was a guy, I think he was trying to marry me off to a 419 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,800 woman in one of these tribes because her husband died 420 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,520 prematurely. So he was like, oh, this guy's a 421 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:19,160 really good worker. Anyway, so now another example 422 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,400 I'm going to ask the two of you to give me. 423 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:27,480 This is an important one. Give me an example of something 424 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:32,280 you don't know and you don't even know you don't know it. 425 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,040 Nothing. Of course, I don't know that. 426 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,480 I don't know it, so I don't know it. 427 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:45,920 Because that's something that we would only have if we had an 428 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:50,800 extended amount of awareness. So now we're at a point where 429 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:56,840 we're talking about having no awareness of the subject or 430 00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:02,880 awareness of the gap or awareness of what would come 431 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,360 after if we had awareness of either of those. 432 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,640 Perfect. And that's is the domain of 433 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:14,400 breakthroughs. So the domain of improvement 434 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,640 happens where you don't know it and you know you don't know it. 435 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,840 So you can go learn German, you can improve your knowledge, you 436 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:26,400 can make improvements. The paradigm of breakthroughs, 437 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,200 it's in the things you don't know, you don't know, and you 438 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,560 don't even know you don't know it. 439 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:35,560 So they are worlds apart. The language of that domain is 440 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:39,480 not the same as improvement. So what One of the challenges 441 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,680 and most breakthrough initiatives fail in 442 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,200 organizations. Most people do not achieve 443 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:49,120 breakthroughs because most people are taking the paradigm 444 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,160 that we were given about adapting and more better 445 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:57,280 different. And they impose that and try to 446 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,920 get to what they don't know, they don't know and don't even 447 00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:02,520 know they don't know it and it won't work. 448 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:08,760 It's like trying to make a horse that flies as opposed to 449 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,800 creating an entirely new paradigm of flying machines. 450 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,760 So you're both with me, you're both with me. 451 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,400 I just, that's just a, a start. You you asked me for an example. 452 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:24,440 Yeah, no, I'm definitely with you because I kind of want to 453 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,280 give an example. Paradigm shifting, it's actually 454 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:32,160 a topic for a lot of people who even study, not just in business 455 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:36,520 or you know, any type of belief shifting or manifestation. 456 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,360 And there's different spiritual work and things like that where 457 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:43,400 paradigm shifting comes up. I had a coach at one point and 458 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:47,360 she when she speaks about paradigm shifting, she is kind 459 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:55,800 of saying we are so used to focusing on the things in the 460 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,960 boat, which I guess would be beliefs, our beliefs. 461 00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:02,240 And then the actual paradigm is the actual boat. 462 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:09,280 But if we're not, there's no way for us to be aware of what the 463 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:14,200 boat is just by trying to bring more awareness to what's in the 464 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,480 boat. OK, so it's. 465 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,680 Yeah, so should the The boat is like the context. 466 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,840 Like if you had a bowl and then you put fruit in it, that's the 467 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,880 content. But the bowl itself is the 468 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,320 context. That holds. 469 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:32,600 Content, right. So creating and sometimes 470 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,800 creating a new context can work. And that could be a way that 471 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:41,240 people say they reframed. What I'm getting at is there 472 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:47,440 there is a there is a mindset in a language that's more analogous 473 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,040 to running with broken legs. It's just counterintuitive. 474 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,520 You don't just go break your legs and say I'm going to go 475 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,440 run, right. Does it make sense? 476 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,320 Except there's a a mindset and there's a guy named Steven 477 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,160 Cotter. He's written a book, The Rise of 478 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,720 Superman and Stealing Fire. And they're talking about the 479 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,120 flow state. I do the two of you know what 480 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:08,640 the flow state is. Yeah. 481 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:13,560 OK, so one of the things that they learned is that when people 482 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,800 are in the flow state, the frontal lobe shuts down. 483 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:20,000 And that's the frontal lobe is like the conductor of the 484 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,600 orchestra. It tells each part of the brain 485 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,200 what to do. Well, if that shuts down and the 486 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:29,000 rest of your brain is still performing and has you run with 487 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:33,120 broken legs or has you do something in sports that you 488 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,520 would describe as an outer body experience and you can't explain 489 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:43,000 how you did it, You just did it. That's the the neuroscience that 490 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,520 they've been studying and it's the frontal lobe that shuts down 491 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,360 all you could say you're kind of your identity. 492 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:54,040 The you that knows what you can and cannot do is no longer 493 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:57,520 functioning in a flow state. So you don't know what your 494 00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,480 limits are. You don't know that you can't 495 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,280 run with broken legs. You don't even consider that. 496 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,800 And there are things that you know about yourself that you 497 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,040 don't even know, that you don't know about yourself. 498 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,440 There's so much you don't know about yourself. 499 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,880 And we'll talk about that. So I can tell you. 500 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,680 I can if you want, I can tell you 2 stories. 1 is how I became 501 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,440 an accidental chief operating officer. 502 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,720 That wasn't on purpose. It was, it was almost a joke 503 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,720 that I did that. So I was, I was hired at a 504 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:38,400 transportation logistics company as a salesman and in nine months 505 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,440 I tripled my income and the other salesman were doing very 506 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,520 well. So the company was now growing 507 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,360 so fast that it was bursting at the seams. 508 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,800 They could not, they couldn't manage the growth. 509 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:52,680 And every week the there were two owners. 510 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,600 One was the president, 1 was the CFOCFO was the money guy. 511 00:31:56,640 --> 00:32:01,120 And the president met with the sales force every week. 512 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:05,680 And every week I was saying, hey, Mike, you know, if we take 513 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,680 this guy in operations and put him here, and if we put this 514 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,240 structure in and if we do this every week, I was making 515 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,080 suggestions or right, what do you think if we do this? 516 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,240 And one day he said, you know what? 517 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,800 I'm sick of you telling me how to run my company. 518 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:20,640 Do you think you can do a better job? 519 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,360 And I said yes. And he laughed and he said, you 520 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,360 know what, You know what, I'm going to just, I'm going to give 521 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,320 you a chance to do that. I'll give you 30 days and then 522 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,480 30 days if you don't do a better job than me. 523 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:37,200 Never want to hear another word of you from you about how to run 524 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,680 my company. So I said you have to do one 525 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,240 thing. You have to no one can go to you 526 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,440 with their problems and you have to tell everyone I'm in charge 527 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,080 and they can't go to you. They have to come to me. 528 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,840 So he did that and in two weeks he said the job is yours. 529 00:32:53,840 --> 00:33:00,120 I don't need 30 days. And it's it's because I was 530 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:04,080 stabilizing. So you could see in two weeks 531 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:09,600 that the tumultuous growth and sometimes we lost clients that 532 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:14,040 started to calm down. Now I had an advantage because 533 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:16,080 before that I was a sales trainer. 534 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,800 And as a sales trainer, you do a lot of role-playing and we 535 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:25,280 specifically trained people in the psychology of sales in 536 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:27,560 dealing with acrimonious prospects. 537 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:31,560 So how do you deal with conflict with a prospect and still close 538 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:35,560 the deal? So where I started with my 539 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,880 people and, and also I was extracting from my parents 540 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,840 death. So a lot of what I developed in 541 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,200 my parents death was became now relevant. 542 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:49,920 One of the things that I did was when people came to me, I didn't 543 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,720 solve their problem the way the president did. 544 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,040 I would ask them, what would you do if I wasn't here? 545 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,040 You'd they go to, well, I'd go to Mike. 546 00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,600 Well, you can't do that any longer. 547 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,720 So what would you do? And so we'd have a short 548 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,040 conversation and I'd ask more questions and they'd go back and 549 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,000 solve it themselves. And then they'd come to me and 550 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,679 say, hey, I already know you're going to ask me this list of 551 00:34:11,679 --> 00:34:13,159 questions. I've already thought them 552 00:34:13,159 --> 00:34:15,360 through. And this is where I'm stuck. 553 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,560 And either I ask another question, but I would engage 554 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,239 them and they say, huh, I didn't think of that and they're gone. 555 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:25,600 Simultaneously, I knew as a salesman that we made promises 556 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:29,520 to clients and they were not always delivering on them. 557 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,719 They were kind of laxed. So I raised the bar in 558 00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:34,880 accountability. Do you know what we promised 559 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,239 this client? Do you know, why aren't we 560 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,080 delivering that? Why aren't we delivering that? 561 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,159 And they started taking that seriously. 562 00:34:41,159 --> 00:34:44,440 And instead of me going to them and asking why aren't you taking 563 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,280 care of this client, they actually would come to me and 564 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,400 say, I know you're going to ask about this, but I promise it's 565 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:53,080 already handled. And then few things happened. 566 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,880 They didn't come to me with problems because they developed 567 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,600 their own capacity to solve problems and the promises to 568 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,640 clients were now being exceeded on a consistent basis. 569 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:08,000 And the other thing that was very important was the culture 570 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:12,040 was a culture where we when we made a mistake, they would think 571 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,040 up and they thought it was funny. 572 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,760 I actually saw it. They would think up a lie to 573 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:21,000 tell the client and they would spend all this time, you know 574 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,960 what I told the client this time, Ha, ha, ha. 575 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,200 I saw that as a salesman. I said from now on we tell the 576 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,960 truth, we make a mistake. Whoever made the mistake, you 577 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,240 call the client and you tell the client the error you made and 578 00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:35,560 how you are correcting it. And one woman laughed and said, 579 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,200 and then we'll be out of business. 580 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:41,200 So she started role-playing. She said, well, what if the 581 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,120 client says this? What if this happens and we role 582 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,040 played and she said, that doesn't sound like it's going to 583 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,600 work, but you're the boss, I'll do what you said. 584 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,840 And next week she said, well, it worked. 585 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:55,080 That was luck. What if next time this happens? 586 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,200 So there was a lot of role-playing and I would do it 587 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:01,960 in front of everyone. And what it did is the 588 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:06,520 role-playing gave them a new way of looking at managing problems 589 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,680 with clients. And soon they didn't need me 590 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:11,720 unless it was really an emergency. 591 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,200 And when they said the client wants to speak to someone in 592 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,760 charge, I'm like, no, what's the problem? 593 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,480 Did you do this? Did you do that and they go 594 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:24,040 handle it? Or sometimes you really do have 595 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,040 to speak to the client and I would do it in front of them so 596 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,880 that they could see how I handled it. 597 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:33,560 And that way now they had a greater capacity for how to 598 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:37,560 engage clients. I'm saying all this to say it's 599 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:41,640 just saying we're going to be like a Nike commercial and just 600 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,920 do it is not a great idea for creating breakthroughs. 601 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:46,840 You really do have to coach your people up. 602 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:50,880 You really have to train them to be able to handle what's 603 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:54,000 happening now and what's possible in the future. 604 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:58,600 So with that company, they went from coming to me asking for 605 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,120 problems and then saying, I know you're going to ask these 606 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:05,840 questions to hey, two weeks ago had this problem, partly our 607 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:07,360 fault, partly the client's fault. 608 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,960 Here's how I handled it. The client loved how we handled 609 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,320 it so much that they picked up the phone and called one of 610 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,000 their clients and sent one of their clients to us. 611 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:22,320 Now my clients are selling for us because my operations team is 612 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,960 like a special forces that can handle just about anything, 613 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:33,120 which noun means that myself as a leader and the president are 614 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:37,280 in a better position to go create new, new services for the 615 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,880 clients and not be worried that our people won't be able to 616 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,160 handle it. In fact, they will embrace it 617 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,640 and say, you know, bring us more. 618 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:51,640 So that transformed, you know, me as an accidental COO, 619 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,640 transform the culture, coached people up and, and, and I 620 00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,240 stabilized the company that was growing out of control and, and 621 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:04,560 increased the growth rate and that allowed us to go after new 622 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,920 kinds of clients that drove revenue and allowed us to like 623 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:13,840 quadruple in revenue. So that wasn't our normal 624 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,320 trajectory. We were actually on a course for 625 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,640 we were going to crash and burn at the rate we were going. 626 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:24,520 It was unsustainable, The growth we had, that's a great problem 627 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,360 to have. It was just unsustainable. 628 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:32,080 Amazing, amazing. I would say I'm going to kick it 629 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:39,920 over to my Co host, go into the next section for for us, because 630 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:46,560 I know that we are, it's about leaning into uncertainty, but 631 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,040 it's also about paradigm shifting. 632 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:54,360 So would you say that your expertise, if the company 633 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,560 doesn't know what they don't know, that we leverage you 634 00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:02,160 finding that out or you leverage finding out what they don't know 635 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,160 that they don't know and then you're training them on that? 636 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:10,160 Sure. So part of it is what derails 637 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:11,600 you. What are your blind spots? 638 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:17,400 And so, you know, I've already mentioned how we have a language 639 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,680 for adaptability and resilience and all those things. 640 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:25,000 And we, we want to make that fit into a paradigm of intentional 641 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:30,360 breakthroughs. Mm hmm. 642 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,840 You in your past is what will get in the way. 643 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:39,480 So had a client, guy was ACEO, Ivy League educated, definitely 644 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:44,760 high IQ and running and running a great business. 645 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:51,440 And it's growing really well. One of his challenges was to 646 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:55,920 grow even faster into that next level and get him out of the 647 00:39:55,920 --> 00:40:00,680 weeds was he was going to have to hire someone who's maybe 648 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:06,400 smarter than him or more capable as a leader so that he can step 649 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,600 back and get stay at the helm of the wheel instead of being 650 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:14,000 involved in operations. And what we found is what got in 651 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,320 the way was an incident that happened when he was five years 652 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,640 old. He's five years old. 653 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,320 I think he's a middle child of three. 654 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:27,400 And he's the only child in the car and his parents in the front 655 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,160 seat, He's in the back. And his parents are having an 656 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,480 argument. And mother says stop the car. 657 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,920 And she gets out the car and she's really upset with the 658 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,200 husband. And he's really angry with his 659 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:41,640 father now and he wants to save his mother. 660 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:45,080 So he opens the door and runs out the car and crosses the 661 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,040 street. And he told me he didn't even 662 00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:49,600 look to see if cars. He said he could have literally 663 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:54,040 been run over but he didn't. So as a 5 year old his 664 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:59,800 interpretation is I was a hero and my dad was a bully and I 665 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:04,640 saved my mom from the bully by being the hero. 666 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:10,280 What that turned him into as a leader was a hero in a bully 667 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:16,560 because he's the guy who felt like he had to do everything. 668 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:20,520 And so if he hired someone that was smart, he would micromanage 669 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,520 them. He would technically be a bully 670 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,520 to them. So he would be reliving this 671 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:31,520 five year old in him. So he's aware that that incident 672 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:35,840 happened, but he doesn't distinguish how it's running his 673 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:40,520 life as a guy in his 50s. And even though he's highly 674 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:45,960 intelligent, Ivy League educated and doing a good job, he's 675 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,960 stifling the growth of the company to its next level. 676 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:55,560 So what it allowed for is him to be able to bring on more 677 00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,840 qualified or higher performing people. 678 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,720 And they were able to open a completely new division because 679 00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:06,920 this was a company that was manufacturing food, and they had 680 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,880 for generations been manufacturing food under their 681 00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,160 own brand. They had their own brand. 682 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:13,960 Well, they opened a new division. 683 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,960 That was the breakthrough that they were now in Co 684 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:21,480 manufacturing and making foods for other people under a 685 00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,120 completely different brand. It wasn't even their brand. 686 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,960 They were just making it for someone who went out into the 687 00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:31,840 world and sold it. And that allowed them to take on 688 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:37,560 that, allowed them to bring on about 20% and new revenues of 689 00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,320 untapped revenues that they never would have gotten and 690 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,080 brought on the largest client they ever had in the company's 691 00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:45,960 history, which was about 90 year old company at the time. 692 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,400 But that was a huge breakthrough. 693 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:53,600 And what that breakthrough did is it allowed them to make 694 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:57,400 products for others. So it created an entirely new 695 00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,120 R&D that allowed them to make things that their current 696 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:03,320 equipment would have never made. And it was more profitable per 697 00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:07,120 square inch. So it and and they had a plant 698 00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,840 that was lying dormant that they didn't know what to do with. 699 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,680 They were either going to sell it or something. 700 00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:15,280 But now in this place was a breakthrough in revenue was a 701 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,160 breakthrough in products. And it also gave them a new name 702 00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,160 in the marketplace as as innovators. 703 00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:27,760 What it was was five year old incident that was holding him 704 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:29,880 back. And most people don't see that. 705 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:33,200 Most people, and I'll tell people up front, look, the five 706 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,320 year old and you were still running your life and they'll 707 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,320 say you're kidding. You know who I am. 708 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,120 But when I take them, when I walk them through my, I call it 709 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,840 a mindset technology. Mm hmm. 710 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,360 When you walk them through the mindset technology, they start 711 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:49,720 to distinguish and they can see how, Oh my God, this has been 712 00:43:49,720 --> 00:43:53,160 affecting my entire life and, and I just couldn't see it. 713 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:58,520 So part of that, of what happens is that 5 year old will derail 714 00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:02,640 you when you start dealing with chaos, uncertainty, anything 715 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:06,720 that reminds you of, of what happened in the past. 716 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,080 And being aware of it just isn't enough. 717 00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:14,800 Because being aware doesn't give you the tools to actually go 718 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,120 through it and be able to navigate and come out on the 719 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:20,000 other side where it's no longer running your life. 720 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:25,680 But before you have the tools, it's running your life and 721 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,360 you're just aware that something happened. 722 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:32,840 So awareness is in that paradigm of things you don't know and you 723 00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,960 know you don't know, and you can improve it. 724 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,840 But in a paradigm of breakthroughs, it's possible to 725 00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:44,720 actually untrigger your triggers and you unlearn them. 726 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,560 You reverse engineer and unlearn them. 727 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:52,240 So this is no longer resilience. It's actually the capacity in 728 00:44:52,240 --> 00:44:54,360 real time to be able to navigate. 729 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:58,080 You're not adapting, you're navigating something. 730 00:44:58,240 --> 00:45:02,800 And what derailed you in the past is not no longer derailing 731 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,000 you. You're now in free. 732 00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:07,960 It's my value proposition ultimately to people is freedom 733 00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:11,760 and power. That's a lot of park right, but 734 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:16,320 I want to talk about fear control and the cost of our 735 00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:19,400 burdens this. What was the last word? 736 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,760 Fear, control and what? And the cost of avoidance? 737 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,640 Avoidance. OK, yes. 738 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:33,000 You talk about people's traumatic past haunting them and 739 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:42,360 affecting, influencing the occurrence, behavior, attitude, 740 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:47,080 you know, patterns. And you reminded me of somebody 741 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:53,040 that I know they lost a loved 1, you know, many years ago when we 742 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:58,960 were younger and did not end up attending the funeral of that 743 00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:02,480 loved 1. And it sort of affected them, 744 00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:07,360 right? And they just thought in your 745 00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:11,560 head or discussing travel and that was the way to cope with 746 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,920 the loss. Anytime you know talks about 747 00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:19,880 that person, but it brings back negative emotions, right? 748 00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:26,160 And this person now started using avoidance as a means of 749 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:32,320 coping or stressful situations. And it has LED you like many 750 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:37,480 delusional attitudes, which you know does not make sense. 751 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:42,840 So how do you help such a person break free from that kind of? 752 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:49,080 So if you're looking for a formula at there's there's no 753 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,320 magic formula there's no magic wand. 754 00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:56,640 But yes, do many people do live a life of of avoiding yeah and 755 00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:00,720 that that death may have reminded them of something that 756 00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:05,760 may not be the source of it. So with the CEO where five years 757 00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:08,200 old, that was the source of what derailed him. 758 00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:11,480 So we had to get I'm interested in getting to the source. 759 00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:18,600 So I understand a loved one dying, but I would also want to 760 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:23,120 understand if if that was a trigger to remind them of 761 00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:24,960 something that happened before that event. 762 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,720 So we'd have to get to the source of that. 763 00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,440 But it's actually a good example in another way. 764 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:37,480 So you said that if something happens that reminds them of the 765 00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:41,440 death of that person, they get. Any other thing or even any 766 00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:45,520 other thing, they just like to avoid, you know, the thoughts of 767 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,800 different situations. And like. 768 00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:48,560 You. Cannot. 769 00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:49,840 Right. Keep avoiding difficult 770 00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,000 situations. You know this. 771 00:47:51,240 --> 00:47:56,960 Yeah, the bull matador. What I'm saying is that when 772 00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:02,880 people often get upset or have fear, it's usually not what's in 773 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,960 front of them. It's what it reminds them of and 774 00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:09,640 they relive the thing. So people are generally not 775 00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,800 upset with you. They're upset they're they're 776 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:16,680 upset about their interpretation of you and what you remind them 777 00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,320 of. They may be aware with the head 778 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:24,360 they think that that is that response is who they are. 779 00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:29,360 And they actually may have feelings because they're having 780 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:33,480 an entire conversation with themselves about the thing they 781 00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:35,760 want to avoid. And I'm not going to let that 782 00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:39,280 happen again. And that conversation tells the 783 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:43,920 brain to trigger neurochemicals like cortisone and other things. 784 00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:47,160 And now they say I feel bad and they're going to say, well, you 785 00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,720 made me feel bad. But it's really what they are 786 00:48:49,720 --> 00:48:54,200 saying to themselves that's the catalyst for all the 787 00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,320 neurochemicals that are being secreted. 788 00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:01,280 And so then people are stuck with, well, it doesn't feel 789 00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:02,680 right. It doesn't resonate. 790 00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:06,320 And it's like, I'm trying to avoid this, this thing. 791 00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:10,400 And, and you even ask people about intimate relationships and 792 00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,360 what are you committed to? What would you like in a 793 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,800 relationship? And they can tell you, well, I 794 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:16,240 can tell you everything I don't want. 795 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,880 And if you think of it this way, if you're in a room, you point 796 00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:22,880 to any corner and say in that corner is everything you don't 797 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,160 want. And the person is in that corner 798 00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:27,520 saying, I'm, I'm never going to let that stuff come out. 799 00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:31,040 But it's like in the other corner is everything you really 800 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,240 want. But because you're focused on 801 00:49:33,240 --> 00:49:36,280 the corner that you don't want, you never actually get to the 802 00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,040 other corner. And then life begins to look 803 00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,480 hard and it looks like you can never have the things that you 804 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:45,640 want because you're spending you're, you're spending all of 805 00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:49,400 your committed time to these things that you don't want. 806 00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:51,680 And so it becomes like a trap. I agree. 807 00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:59,280 Yeah, yeah. The mind is a complex tool, but 808 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:04,840 it's I see this, you know, the mindset skill set, tool set 809 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,240 framework is my field ones with you. 810 00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,240 It's difficult to train with mindset. 811 00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:15,680 And that's why for me, as a founder, as the Ceoi just love 812 00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:19,200 to work with people that align with the mindset. 813 00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:25,960 That I appreciate, but I don't know if it's difficult to to 814 00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:29,760 train mindset. I've heard people say that, but 815 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,920 I don't know where that's written in stone. 816 00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:39,360 OK, think about this mindset, skill set, tool set, right? 817 00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:45,320 That is the order to me in my philosophy for collaborating 818 00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:49,120 with people, right? For bringing people on my team, 819 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,240 right? Because in the past, I've had to 820 00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:58,720 be very, very heavy for bringing on people that have a high skill 821 00:50:58,720 --> 00:51:05,320 set or poor mindset, right? And I realized that you can 822 00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,520 force a host to the stream or you can't force it to drink. 823 00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:14,520 And there are certain mindsets that are good for collaboration 824 00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:20,480 on certain projects, right? And it's not like certain people 825 00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:24,440 are not good people, but they don't have the required mindset 826 00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:30,520 to achieve certain difficult challenges, especially when they 827 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:32,960 are not very much interested in it, right? 828 00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:34,720 You have to be passionate about what you're doing. 829 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:38,800 But I'd like for you to speak to that philosophy, right? 830 00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:40,800 What do you think is easier to train? 831 00:51:41,240 --> 00:51:44,360 Is it easier to train the skill set or train a person to use a 832 00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:49,120 tool set or a mindset? Well for me I I have not found a 833 00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,800 lot of training people that are unwilling on mindset. 834 00:51:55,120 --> 00:52:00,560 OK CAU queru falao conchigueno Trujillo MO vos EPO GE and 835 00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:05,320 tender me see her now. Combo estas MI amigos. 836 00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:08,040 No, no, I I did not speak to you in Spanish. 837 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:10,840 What did you say? I don't know. 838 00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:14,840 I satellite Spanish to me. I know it was Portuguese. 839 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:21,080 Oh, I said if I see yes, if I, I said if I speak to you in 840 00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,280 another language, can you understand me? 841 00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:30,800 Right, Exactly. And so it's the same for 842 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,400 mindset. See, you don't speak Portuguese 843 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:35,600 because no one gave you that language. 844 00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:38,840 You have the language that was given to you. 845 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:42,760 And if you speak 5 languages, they still didn't give you 846 00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:44,000 Portuguese. Mm hmm. 847 00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:46,760 And if I would have said Ochimprat, Napaz, Nakamitsa, 848 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,560 that's Russian for a pleasure to meet you. 849 00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:49,880 They didn't give you that either. 850 00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:52,920 But it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. 851 00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:55,040 You just have what you were given. 852 00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:58,400 People have the mindset that they were given. 853 00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:03,560 And I've lived in the jungle with Mayan Indians. 854 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:06,440 I've lived in the jungle with Costa Rica. 855 00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:08,640 I've, I've been to Greenland and Iceland. 856 00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:14,240 I, I've been to the Amazon and what I saw in all those places 857 00:53:14,240 --> 00:53:18,600 and many more in many states in the US, there's one human 858 00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:22,920 paradigm and everyone's been given the same paradigm. 859 00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:30,640 If you speak Mandarin, German, English or French or IBO, you 860 00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:33,320 still are going through the same human experience. 861 00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:35,160 And there's a language within that. 862 00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,520 And maybe there's a here's a way to express that. 863 00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:46,520 So I can have four basket 4 basketball players and one guy 864 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,880 is really good on the playground. 865 00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:52,240 He plays in high school and he gets a lot of girls and he plays 866 00:53:52,240 --> 00:53:57,280 well, but he just doesn't make it to the NBA because when he 867 00:53:57,280 --> 00:54:01,360 plays, he says I'm going to get all the girls and he 868 00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:05,480 accomplishes that. The next guy says I'm going to 869 00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,440 make it to the NBA. So he trains to make it to the 870 00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:12,520 NBA, and he does. The next guy says I'm going to 871 00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:19,280 start in the NBA, and he trains. And this guy starts in the NBA. 872 00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:23,840 And the fourth guy says I'm going to break every record in 873 00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:26,440 the NBA. And that's where you get your 874 00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,920 Michael Jordan's and your LeBron James's. 875 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,360 They're not saying I'm going to make it to the NBA. 876 00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:34,080 They're not saying I'm going to start. 877 00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,600 And they're not playing to chase the girls. 878 00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,880 They are training to break records. 879 00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:43,640 That's a mindset that's created, invented. 880 00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:47,200 It's it's there are lots of examples in the world where 881 00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:50,120 people invented a future that didn't exist. 882 00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:54,320 So for Michael Jordan to break records and saying that from 883 00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:58,720 high school, he's committing to a future that doesn't even 884 00:54:58,720 --> 00:55:02,680 exist. And so this is where those 885 00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:06,720 things from the past will say, well, you know, you can't do 886 00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:10,840 that and remember this or your your parents died and you, you 887 00:55:11,240 --> 00:55:16,960 for lots of reasons. But none of that mindset is just 888 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:24,840 as nimble or malleable as water. So there's no such thing as 889 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,960 someone who's stuck. And that's why when someone says 890 00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:32,440 to me transforming corporate culture, transforming mindset is 891 00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:36,520 difficult, or when people say change is hard, this is what I'm 892 00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:38,440 going to ask your listeners to hear. 893 00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:44,400 The only reality that exists is the one that you say exists. 894 00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:47,280 If you say change is hard, you will be right. 895 00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:50,800 As long as you think that way, you will go out of your way to 896 00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:54,320 change is hard. If you say it's hard to change 897 00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:57,360 corporate culture, you will be right. 898 00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:02,560 Now, I'm not saying you're going to just get up and go play in 899 00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,680 the NBA and break all records if you didn't train and prepare for 900 00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,120 that. So there is train, there is a 901 00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:10,240 commitment. If you're really committed to 902 00:56:10,240 --> 00:56:14,400 accomplishing something, what's the body of work required in 903 00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,240 that paradigm to prepare you to accomplish that? 904 00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:21,960 There are lots of examples where the facts of life existed 905 00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:24,360 before. Do you guys know who a guy by 906 00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:27,760 the name of Roger Bannister is? You should know Eddemola. 907 00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:30,880 Roger Bannister. Roger Bannister. 908 00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,880 That name rings a bell. So what he's he known for? 909 00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:36,280 Yeah, I don't. Can't Google it. 910 00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,920 No cheating. I don't, I don't know him. 911 00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:41,240 It rings a bell, but definitely I I'm not a cheater. 912 00:56:41,240 --> 00:56:43,760 I really can't remember what he's known for, but I know I've 913 00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:46,000 heard that name before. That's why I have one. 914 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,400 He's a no for. British guy. 915 00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:51,040 He's a British guy who's the first one to run the mile in 916 00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:55,600 under 4 minutes and before him, and he did that in 1956. 917 00:56:55,600 --> 00:57:00,880 Before that, the scientific fact was it's humanly impossible to 918 00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:04,240 run the mile in under 4 minutes. Humanly impossible. 919 00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:08,400 The world record for the mile is 3 minutes and 43 seconds. 920 00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:14,400 It's the same mile. So he had to break from all the 921 00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:19,320 conversations that said it's humanly impossible and train and 922 00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:26,640 do things that allowed for 359. And when he ran a 359 shortly 923 00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:28,720 after quite a few other guys ran it. 924 00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:33,160 But that from 1956 to, I forget when the current record was 925 00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:40,240 made, 2000 something to go from 4 minutes to 343, that's 17 926 00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:42,880 seconds. You can't imagine how much 927 00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:46,200 distance is in 17 seconds in a mile. 928 00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:49,360 That's huge. And they believed that it was 929 00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:53,400 humanly impossible. See, as long as they believed it 930 00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:58,040 was humanly impossible, people trained to run horrible minutes. 931 00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:01,040 Four O 1. There's a guy, 15 year old boy 932 00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:03,720 in Australia running under 4 minutes now. 933 00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:06,400 I'm laughing because I'm impressed I've never been able 934 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:14,880 to run it in less or 4 minutes. No, that's, that's good, that's 935 00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:18,200 good, that's good. If you can run a mile and for 936 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:23,720 anything, even for 459 is still it's that's not competitive, but 937 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:25,840 it's you're in shape to run it that fast. 938 00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:27,320 Yeah. Sure, I ran. 939 00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,640 I used to do 5 minutes. Plus for, you know, overtime, 940 00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:33,240 yeah, started going below 5 minutes, yeah. 941 00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,920 Yeah, yeah. If you train, if you train, 942 00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:38,400 yeah, you have to train for that. 943 00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:41,880 That's not you just woke up one day, you're smoking a cigarette 944 00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:43,640 and got to have the beer on the other hand, and it's like I'm 945 00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:47,920 going to go run a 4 minute mile. Yeah, yeah, man, hold my beer. 946 00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:49,960 I got it. Do do you know the interesting 947 00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:52,000 thing, Noela? Should we tell him? 948 00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:53,760 Should we tell him? Right. 949 00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:57,960 She I think we were just randomly speaking earlier today 950 00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:01,600 and I took up a challenge. I told her I will do 5 951 00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:05,280 kilometers in about 30 minutes. I actually thought it was a joke 952 00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,600 and I stood up and did it. Yes or no? 953 00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,800 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 954 00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:14,320 It's that that that is the I I love fitness. 955 00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:17,040 I love fitness. It's it's good to be feet and 956 00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:18,720 you know I. Believe you're. 957 00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:22,120 Physically, feet and mentally fit right goes a long way. 958 00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:23,520 Right. Absolutely. 959 00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:27,280 Yeah. I've had CE OS tell me that they 960 00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:29,160 still work out. These are retired guys. 961 00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:32,080 They talk about the importance of being physically fit. 962 00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:37,240 So yeah. So do do you get what I'm 963 00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,880 saying? It's like, as long as you say 964 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:43,760 it's hard, as long as you say it can't be done, you'll be right. 965 00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:47,760 And I'm not saying like it's not like a pipe dream. 966 00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:55,320 Do do you guys know who Yeah, Robert Goddard is? 967 00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:57,160 You ever hear that name? Robert Goddard. 968 00:59:57,160 --> 01:00:00,360 Robert. Goddard. 969 01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:05,280 I did a long time ago, like 100 years ago. 970 01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:07,200 I know my Goddard, No Robert Goddard. 971 01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:15,360 So, So in the 1920s, Guy, an aeronautics engineer, said one 972 01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:19,120 day man will fly to the moon. And the New York Times wrote an 973 01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:23,560 article saying criticizing him, calling him an idiot and he 974 01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:26,600 didn't have the intelligence of an elementary school child and 975 01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:29,840 blah blah blah. No, the guys in. 1960 they had 976 01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:35,040 to write another article to apologize, but what he said was 977 01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:37,040 one day man will fly to the moon. 978 01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:40,920 It sounded ridiculous and it can't be done. 979 01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:46,680 And so he declared this future that did not exist. 980 01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:52,280 And as a nation, we we grew into it and made it happen. 981 01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:59,400 But we had to train and develop, but we had to develop technology 982 01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:03,680 that allowed for it to happen. So it's not an airy fairy pipe 983 01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:06,680 dream, right? And this is what people need to 984 01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:10,840 be able to distinguish. So if I told you I'm going to 985 01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:15,280 build a machine to fly to Mars next month, that would be a pipe 986 01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:18,120 dream because there's nothing in my past to support that. 987 01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:22,920 You just. Haven't prepared and trained 988 01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:25,160 myself for that. You better be of. 989 01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:30,040 Somebody you reminded me of somebody OK, when I was back in 990 01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:35,360 Nigeria, I had this right. And I used to tell them I I want 991 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:37,040 you to get that impression of yourself. 992 01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:40,760 Like I used to try to push them. OK, Try to do this. 993 01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:44,880 Take this course, you know, read this book and you know, one day 994 01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,440 the person that's in me, that's it. 995 01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:52,520 Thank you very much for always trying to encourage me, Right. 996 01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:56,560 But what if I don't want to be a better virtual myself? 997 01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:01,360 Like stop stressing me like I'm I'm not interested. 998 01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,760 I don't want to be better. Like I'm OK where I'm at. 999 01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:11,400 And then, you know, it hit me. It hit me hard that you can 1000 01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:14,280 force off us to the stream. You can't foresee to drink. 1001 01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:20,320 And to me, it made me realize that you cannot help a person 1002 01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:21,880 who is not willing to help themselves. 1003 01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:26,120 But what would you say about that kind of mindset? 1004 01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:28,240 There's a fixed mindset and there's a growth mindset. 1005 01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,080 That's a really important question. 1006 01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:35,680 So there was a company that did do research on people who were 1007 01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:40,160 engaged in workshops doing breakthroughs and, and those who 1008 01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:42,120 avoided it, those who went through it. 1009 01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:46,960 And what they found is that there were quite a few people 1010 01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:52,520 who would prefer to not have the breakthrough because they 1011 01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:56,880 thought it would say in the past, like, I must have been 1012 01:02:56,880 --> 01:03:00,720 really dumb. Like how could I not have known 1013 01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:04,520 this in the past? So they'd rather avoid having 1014 01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:07,440 that conversation, which would question. 1015 01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:10,120 So let's say they walked around and said, I'm really a smart 1016 01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:12,640 person and you can't tell me anything. 1017 01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:13,760 And then they have a breakthrough. 1018 01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:16,320 It's like, Oh my God, I wasn't smart after all. 1019 01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,520 And and that could leave them saying, even though I had a 1020 01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:22,560 breakthrough, maybe I'm still not smart. 1021 01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:26,480 So people are left with this conversation in the human 1022 01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:29,440 paradigm. Look at it this way. 1023 01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:33,440 People really want two things in life. 1024 01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:35,840 Well, they want to survive, right? 1025 01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:40,600 And one way to survive is to look good or avoid looking bad. 1026 01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:44,000 And if I have a breakthrough that makes me look bad because I 1027 01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:47,560 was not very bright in the past and maybe I'm not bright now, 1028 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:52,080 it's I'm going to look bad if I have a breakthrough and it and 1029 01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:54,400 it's not that the world sees you that way. 1030 01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:57,800 It's how you see yourself. Would you say that that what 1031 01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:01,760 you're describing right now, mostly the human paradigm, is 1032 01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:07,840 why leaders are still reluctant to confront internal 1033 01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:10,320 breakthroughs? Or do you think there is maybe 1034 01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:15,160 more reason to that? No, that, that's a big one. 1035 01:04:15,160 --> 01:04:17,960 So you know, I'm Aceo, I'm supposed to have the answers. 1036 01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:19,920 I'm really smart, I'm well accomplished. 1037 01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:22,240 And why would I need a breakthrough? 1038 01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:27,040 I'm already at the top of the food chain, so it's my people so 1039 01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:30,920 and I've actually seen this like really happen. 1040 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:35,240 I used to do CEO roundtables and I invited current CE OS and 1041 01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,520 their your revenues had to be between 100 million and a 1042 01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:41,680 billion dollars. And then I would invite usually 1043 01:04:41,680 --> 01:04:45,440 former CE OS, retired CE OS of Fortune 5 hundreds. 1044 01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:48,880 And I've had former CE OS of Chase Bank, Dun and Bradstreet, 1045 01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:52,240 Xerox Hires hotel and casinos. I've had chairman of the New 1046 01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:55,760 York Stock Exchange. So when you bring those really 1047 01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:59,840 heavy hitters to sit down and talk shop about CEO, you get to 1048 01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:01,880 talk about really important things. 1049 01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:07,360 And I had Aceo, who was still, you know, I had him come in to 1050 01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:11,760 talk in the round table and he was still the CEO of a Fortune 1051 01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:15,080 500. Said he had the skill of turning 1052 01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:18,160 companies around and he had the other skill, which was to drive 1053 01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:20,120 revenue. He said most CE OS are one or 1054 01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:21,760 the other and he said he had both. 1055 01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:26,600 And he was brought into a company that was underperforming 1056 01:05:26,600 --> 01:05:29,520 and he got rid of a bunch of people and brought in quite a 1057 01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:32,840 few of his own and it still didn't transform the culture. 1058 01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:36,920 So then he hired an outside consulting firm and said, fix my 1059 01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:39,280 people, they need to be transformed. 1060 01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:43,680 And it wasn't working. So company he brought in said, 1061 01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:48,760 hey, would you consider you transforming first before we get 1062 01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:52,840 the people say, Oh no, no, no, I'm the CEO, I don't need that 1063 01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:54,920 man. You have to understand I'm 1064 01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:59,840 really accomplished. And they convinced him if you do 1065 01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:05,560 it, then that will send us very powerful message to the rest of 1066 01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:08,880 the organization. So he gave in and he said when 1067 01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:12,960 he transformed, the rest of the company just went right with 1068 01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:14,680 him. And he said it was such a 1069 01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:19,720 valuable lesson that whenever he wanted to go in and transform an 1070 01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:23,280 organization, he knew that he had to transform himself first 1071 01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:27,000 before he could transform the rest of the company. 1072 01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:33,560 So people are often, God, they're walking around with a 1073 01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:38,040 conversation about how great they are. 1074 01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:44,920 And I'm not saying this is all, but sometimes that can hide 1075 01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:48,320 things that you don't want others to see about you. 1076 01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:53,160 And if you admit to transforming, it may be 1077 01:06:53,160 --> 01:06:56,320 admitting to the things that you're hiding from people. 1078 01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:58,520 You follow me on that? Yeah. 1079 01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:03,160 And, and now you're shooting yourself in the foot because 1080 01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:06,680 you're hiding and you, you think there's something wrong. 1081 01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:08,920 And, and maybe I'll give you a great example of, of an 1082 01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:13,000 entrepreneur, a person who had a really good company. 1083 01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:17,840 And one day she said, Ted, why do I always have to be right? 1084 01:07:18,440 --> 01:07:21,200 I said, well, maybe when you're about 5 years old, you gave the 1085 01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:25,720 wrong answer. She said, Oh my God, yes, yes. 1086 01:07:26,040 --> 01:07:30,080 I was five years old in the dentist's office in the waiting 1087 01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:32,840 area with my mom. And there were other kids with 1088 01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:35,480 their mom. And the dentist came out and he 1089 01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:37,680 said, hi, children, who knows what this is? 1090 01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:41,960 And I don't know whatever that was, but he said, who knows what 1091 01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:44,000 this is? And she said, I know, I know. 1092 01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:45,960 And she said, that's Bah, Bah, Bah. 1093 01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:51,440 And he said, Nope. And she doesn't even know what 1094 01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:56,400 happens after that because all she could think was I was so 1095 01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:59,320 stupid. I was so embarrassing. 1096 01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:03,160 I gave the wrong answer. And now she's sitting there 1097 01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:07,360 feeling bad about herself. And she she made a promise. 1098 01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:10,600 I'll never let myself feel that way again. 1099 01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:15,360 So now you put her in a situation and she's ready to 1100 01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:19,160 fight to be right because she wants to avoid that five year 1101 01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:23,760 old incident. And most I want to say all 1102 01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:28,439 people have that, that they don't know that it's running 1103 01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:30,800 their life. And I'm talking to this woman 1104 01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:34,120 and now she's 45, also Ivy League educated. 1105 01:08:34,479 --> 01:08:36,920 And can you guess what her occupation was? 1106 01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:45,000 A lawyer? Yep, trial lawyer. 1107 01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:48,840 And and you know what? If you wanted a lawyer to defend 1108 01:08:48,840 --> 01:08:51,600 you, she was going to be right. She was going to fight to the 1109 01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:54,240 death for you. She was going to be right. 1110 01:08:54,720 --> 01:08:59,640 She went to a top school and and learned everything. 1111 01:08:59,640 --> 01:09:04,200 And she comes out to know the law went down as a president, 1112 01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:08,800 CEO of a company leading that way was crushing her people. 1113 01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:10,359 It was almost like she was a samurai. 1114 01:09:10,359 --> 01:09:12,200 And she just cut everyone's head off. 1115 01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:18,840 So so people have this is what gets in a way of creating 1116 01:09:18,840 --> 01:09:21,479 breakthroughs. There's this thing that you want 1117 01:09:21,479 --> 01:09:27,240 to avoid and it's looking bad. So the way she survived in the 1118 01:09:27,240 --> 01:09:32,000 world was to be right. Now, what was interesting, and 1119 01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:35,720 it usually has two sides to it. If you put her in a in a 1120 01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:40,800 conversation about finance, for example, she knew nothing about 1121 01:09:40,800 --> 01:09:43,279 finance and she couldn't fight you to be right. 1122 01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:47,399 And so in the moment, that conversation is too much for 1123 01:09:47,399 --> 01:09:50,439 her. It's like clockwork. 1124 01:09:50,760 --> 01:09:55,760 She would say, my tummy hurts, I don't feel good, I want to go 1125 01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:58,400 eat. And she would literally sound 1126 01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:02,160 like a 5 year old. This is a 45 year old sharp, 1127 01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:06,040 very good attorney who now shrank to the five year old in 1128 01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:09,960 the dentist's office because she can't be right about finance. 1129 01:10:10,240 --> 01:10:13,800 So it's either fight to the death to to be right or you fake 1130 01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:16,600 that I don't feel good and my tummy hurts and I want to go 1131 01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:22,000 home and and this is what's running the world. 1132 01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:26,880 I have very, very lawyers as friends and you know it. 1133 01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:30,840 It was a very, very easy guess. Like many of these guys, people 1134 01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,960 fight you to the right. And of course, you know, like 1135 01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:37,640 have had the opportunity to speak on a very personal level 1136 01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:39,920 with them. I went to university. 1137 01:10:39,920 --> 01:10:42,400 That is considered the habit of Nigeria. 1138 01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:46,040 So like we had multidisciplinaries, right? 1139 01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:49,280 So even though I started economics, I had roommates that 1140 01:10:49,280 --> 01:10:51,960 were lawyers and you know, we used to have a lot of 1141 01:10:52,160 --> 01:10:54,960 conversations involved like that, right? 1142 01:10:54,960 --> 01:10:58,520 And I love something that you said, which actually I reached 1143 01:10:58,520 --> 01:11:03,840 to something he said in the session earlier today and I was 1144 01:11:03,840 --> 01:11:07,120 smiling, right? Talking about leading by 1145 01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:08,800 example, transforming yourself, threats. 1146 01:11:09,280 --> 01:11:16,040 I spoke about a partner I had a PwC highly, highly respected 1147 01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:19,000 guy, Tony Radile gay. He's been on this podcast with 1148 01:11:19,040 --> 01:11:24,720 more and he he taught us something and he has this quoted 1149 01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:28,520 record that has been with me for the I will be with you for the 1150 01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:32,840 rest of my life. He says what is important is not 1151 01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:37,400 the example of your power. What is important is the power 1152 01:11:37,520 --> 01:11:40,880 of the example. So it's important one is the by 1153 01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:42,080 example. Yeah. 1154 01:11:47,620 --> 01:11:53,380 So in the current paradigm that we're given, like you're given 1155 01:11:53,380 --> 01:11:59,640 English in whatever your language is this this looking 1156 01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:05,400 good and avoiding looking bad and surviving by being right and 1157 01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:10,040 other things. In that paradigm, when we want 1158 01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:13,560 to create a breakthrough, what derails us are all these 1159 01:12:13,560 --> 01:12:18,080 conversations that we inherit. So that woman in the dentist's 1160 01:12:18,080 --> 01:12:19,760 office never looked embarrassing. 1161 01:12:19,760 --> 01:12:23,480 She was not stupid, but her interpretation of what occurred 1162 01:12:23,880 --> 01:12:27,920 had her see herself in that way and not never want to experience 1163 01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:29,640 that again. Right. 1164 01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:34,360 And we, we know these things happen in our lives, but they 1165 01:12:34,360 --> 01:12:38,040 become like mines in the minefield, like they blow up and 1166 01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:42,440 they, they derail us and we have no way of dismantling them. 1167 01:12:42,440 --> 01:12:45,640 So we have an entire language that supports us in this 1168 01:12:45,640 --> 01:12:50,360 paradigm and tells us how to deal with these situations. 1169 01:12:50,800 --> 01:12:55,520 It's almost like everyone has a radio station playing in their 1170 01:12:55,520 --> 01:13:00,440 head that they cannot turn off. And it's telling them that looks 1171 01:13:00,440 --> 01:13:05,280 stupid or that was your dad was a bully or you're the hero for 1172 01:13:05,280 --> 01:13:07,800 doing that. And so we have all these 1173 01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:10,440 conversations and they shape our actions. 1174 01:13:10,440 --> 01:13:14,520 They tell us what we can and cannot do and we're left at the 1175 01:13:14,680 --> 01:13:16,720 effect of it. And even though we know these 1176 01:13:16,720 --> 01:13:21,200 incidences have occurred in our lives, we don't have the tools 1177 01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:23,280 to dismantle them and unlearn them. 1178 01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:26,120 So we're stuck. And what what you're left with 1179 01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:28,960 is a conversation is this is who I am. 1180 01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:32,120 This is just the way I am, and it is what it is. 1181 01:13:32,800 --> 01:13:36,320 And So what I'm asserting that nothing is what it is. 1182 01:13:36,320 --> 01:13:39,920 There's an interpretation. And there's a radio station that 1183 01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:44,560 plays that tells you who you are, what you can and cannot do. 1184 01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:47,120 And then it says, go create a breakthrough. 1185 01:13:47,480 --> 01:13:52,200 And as soon as a problem shows up that's unfamiliar to you, 1186 01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:55,520 it's easy to say, well, this doesn't resonate with me. 1187 01:13:55,520 --> 01:13:58,880 I'm not cut out for this. I'm not meant to be a leader. 1188 01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:01,800 There are all kinds of things that that people come up with. 1189 01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:03,920 It's like, see, here we go again. 1190 01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:05,680 This is like being in a dentist's office. 1191 01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:09,840 I don't know what I'm doing. And so it becomes very difficult 1192 01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:14,320 to break out to have a paradigm shift when when the rules of the 1193 01:14:14,320 --> 01:14:17,080 paradigm you're in and keeps you in the paradigm. 1194 01:14:19,160 --> 01:14:24,640 And it from the examples that you've been sharing, you've 1195 01:14:24,640 --> 01:14:29,000 shared a few of them now, it sounds like sometimes the 1196 01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:36,080 paradigm is created based off of either trying to stay away from 1197 01:14:36,080 --> 01:14:40,400 a certain emotion or maybe even move towards a certain emotion 1198 01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:43,200 depending on the paradigm, you know, depending on the person. 1199 01:14:44,360 --> 01:14:50,160 So would you say that or how would you say that emotional 1200 01:14:50,160 --> 01:14:56,560 intelligence overall? Because I guess it seems like 1201 01:14:56,560 --> 01:15:00,280 the root of it has to do with emotions and how we're feeling. 1202 01:15:00,480 --> 01:15:03,280 And so we're running our whole lives either trying to avoid a 1203 01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:07,080 feeling we felt as a very young child or trying to find more 1204 01:15:07,080 --> 01:15:10,720 things that make us feel that way, depending on what happened. 1205 01:15:10,720 --> 01:15:16,040 How would you say emotional intelligence intersects with the 1206 01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:20,080 work you do as or with disruptive strategy? 1207 01:15:20,080 --> 01:15:23,880 So when we're moving towards a going into the chaos, we said, 1208 01:15:23,880 --> 01:15:28,720 OK, we're not going to operate in paradigms anymore. 1209 01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:32,720 How do we use emotional intelligence to navigate that? 1210 01:15:34,920 --> 01:15:36,760 I think you will not like my answer. 1211 01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:43,120 That's OK. So the the quick and dirty 1212 01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:45,720 answer to your question is it's irrelevant. 1213 01:15:46,720 --> 01:15:51,560 OK. And I guess my next question is 1214 01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:53,760 why, like how or why or how, like a why? 1215 01:15:53,760 --> 01:15:59,280 Or why does emotional intelligence or the connection 1216 01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:04,120 with our emotions not matter at all when we're moving through 1217 01:16:04,120 --> 01:16:10,040 it, or when? You're go ahead or when? 1218 01:16:10,560 --> 01:16:17,800 When we are, I would say, I guess all I'm trying to say is 1219 01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:21,840 release from our old emotions or our old emotional ties in order 1220 01:16:21,840 --> 01:16:26,640 to move through chaos and build this empowerment that we have to 1221 01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:28,840 move through things we've never been through before. 1222 01:16:30,880 --> 01:16:33,600 Right. So what you're still doing is 1223 01:16:33,600 --> 01:16:37,120 you're using the current paradigm to help you get into a 1224 01:16:37,120 --> 01:16:38,800 new paradigm. OK. 1225 01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:43,680 That's that's like stacking more of what you already know and no 1226 01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:46,960 one expecting it to be to get you into the things you don't 1227 01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:50,080 know you don't know. I think I'd like to drop 1228 01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:54,400 something from the scientific perspective, you know, using 1229 01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:56,160 neurology, right? Neuroscience. 1230 01:16:57,480 --> 01:17:01,760 You spoke about how the frontal lobe, you know, which is 1231 01:17:01,760 --> 01:17:06,400 actually responsible for judge pen, you know, in the brain and 1232 01:17:07,440 --> 01:17:10,280 you have a prefrontal cortex, for example, right? 1233 01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:12,800 And you know, all of the parts of the front of the lobe are 1234 01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:18,600 responsible for cognitive, you know, behavior and judgment and 1235 01:17:18,600 --> 01:17:23,920 decision making. So in these paradigm shifts, we 1236 01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:27,520 tend to use the subconscious mindset, right? 1237 01:17:27,720 --> 01:17:31,040 The subconscious mind is what is at least activated. 1238 01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:34,200 And you know, you, you sort of have like a shutdown of the 1239 01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:36,640 frontal lobe, right? So if you're still using the 1240 01:17:36,640 --> 01:17:41,160 frontal lobe, you or use, you're transitioning from what you know 1241 01:17:41,160 --> 01:17:44,240 to try to, you know, know what you don't know or something, 1242 01:17:44,280 --> 01:17:46,240 right. I, I think that's just what I 1243 01:17:46,240 --> 01:17:50,640 will drop to the table in order to sweeten this conversation up. 1244 01:17:50,680 --> 01:17:51,960 You are the expert, you are the pro. 1245 01:17:51,960 --> 01:17:54,040 I'm the Joe. I'm just, you know, putting my 1246 01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:58,000 thoughts out there. If you notice, you haven't heard 1247 01:17:58,000 --> 01:18:01,480 me use the word subconscious once, or the word ego or 1248 01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:06,000 consciousness not once. That's still the old paradigm. 1249 01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:08,840 And you're attempting to use all the knowledge and the old 1250 01:18:08,840 --> 01:18:12,280 paradigm to make a quantum leap, to make a greater breakthrough, 1251 01:18:12,280 --> 01:18:15,360 and it just doesn't work that way. 1252 01:18:15,560 --> 01:18:18,560 Those are things that you know. You're attempting to use what 1253 01:18:18,560 --> 01:18:21,680 you know. Our education system is not good 1254 01:18:21,680 --> 01:18:25,480 at getting people into the domain of things you don't know 1255 01:18:25,480 --> 01:18:29,520 you don't know. We're also not good at helping 1256 01:18:29,520 --> 01:18:32,520 people distinguish between thinking and having thoughts. 1257 01:18:32,920 --> 01:18:34,960 Most people think it's a matter of semantics. 1258 01:18:34,960 --> 01:18:37,880 They are the same thing, and we can come back to that. 1259 01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:40,520 But let's deal with Noella's question. 1260 01:18:40,520 --> 01:18:44,120 So what's the source of emotion? All thoughts are based on 1261 01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:47,000 beliefs, or our feelings are based on our thoughts, which are 1262 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:51,040 based on our internal beliefs. So can you have a belief without 1263 01:18:51,040 --> 01:18:52,640 a conversation? Yes. 1264 01:18:54,640 --> 01:18:57,560 OK, give me an example of a belief that is not a 1265 01:18:57,560 --> 01:19:04,280 conversation. So if you, if I believe that I 1266 01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:08,960 am alive or I believe that I am clean or like I believe my body 1267 01:19:08,960 --> 01:19:13,640 is clean or something like that, or you can have a belief about 1268 01:19:13,640 --> 01:19:18,280 yourself or the world around you, I guess based off of your 1269 01:19:18,280 --> 01:19:20,880 own perception. So perceptional beliefs. 1270 01:19:22,840 --> 01:19:27,040 So if you say I am clean or I am alive, is that a conversation? 1271 01:19:27,040 --> 01:19:28,440 So I think in this context. Is. 1272 01:19:28,440 --> 01:19:33,840 I don't believe so. So if you say a sentence, you're 1273 01:19:33,840 --> 01:19:37,040 saying so are we having a conversation? 1274 01:19:38,560 --> 01:19:43,280 Yes. And is the conversation the 1275 01:19:43,280 --> 01:19:48,480 result of words being put in a certain order and we call it a 1276 01:19:48,480 --> 01:19:49,760 sentence? Yes. 1277 01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:56,000 OK, so how do you have a belief without a conversation? 1278 01:19:56,200 --> 01:20:00,400 So I'm asking here conversation with oneself, is that also? 1279 01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:05,600 In the equation or you're talking about conversation with 1280 01:20:06,120 --> 01:20:10,280 outer beings. Well, if you say I'm clean to 1281 01:20:10,280 --> 01:20:12,760 yourself, but the words never came out of your mouth. 1282 01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:15,160 But you just had a conversation with yourself, correct? 1283 01:20:15,440 --> 01:20:16,760 Yes. OK. 1284 01:20:17,200 --> 01:20:19,520 So that's why, that's why. Observation. 1285 01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:22,600 You know, distinguish, Yeah. No, I didn't. 1286 01:20:22,600 --> 01:20:25,720 I didn't say self observation, I said a conversation. 1287 01:20:26,160 --> 01:20:28,040 OK. Your belief? 1288 01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:30,960 A belief that I am clean, I am alive. 1289 01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:33,680 Those are all conversations you can have with yourself or you 1290 01:20:33,680 --> 01:20:37,520 can have with someone else you have with anyone, but they're 1291 01:20:38,040 --> 01:20:42,120 they're conversations. Those are you could say another 1292 01:20:42,120 --> 01:20:44,400 word is those are thoughts that you have right. 1293 01:20:44,480 --> 01:20:47,160 But to have a thought, you're having thoughts in a in the 1294 01:20:47,160 --> 01:20:50,680 context of a conversation. OK, correct. 1295 01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:54,800 Yes, good. So when I asked what's the 1296 01:20:54,800 --> 01:20:57,600 source of emotion, you said beliefs, right? 1297 01:20:57,720 --> 01:21:04,480 And and I'm I want to get it down to what's actually there. 1298 01:21:04,960 --> 01:21:08,360 And the belief is a conversation you have about something 1299 01:21:08,360 --> 01:21:12,560 yourself, right, the world. And so if you have a 1300 01:21:12,560 --> 01:21:16,120 conversation and and it's really great that you said it because 1301 01:21:16,120 --> 01:21:19,960 that's that's where it is. If you have a conversation with 1302 01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:24,040 yourself that says I am clean, there may be certain 1303 01:21:24,040 --> 01:21:26,120 neurochemicals, your body secrets. 1304 01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:29,640 If you have a conversation with yourself that says like the 1305 01:21:30,320 --> 01:21:33,640 lawyer in the dentist's office that I am dumb, I'm stupid, it 1306 01:21:33,640 --> 01:21:36,920 you're probably going to secrete cortisol and you're going to 1307 01:21:37,160 --> 01:21:40,600 have this experience, this feeling of stress, you can get 1308 01:21:40,600 --> 01:21:46,960 that right. So if instead of her saying in 1309 01:21:46,960 --> 01:21:50,600 the dentist's office that I'm embarrassing, I was stupid and 1310 01:21:50,720 --> 01:21:52,760 I'll never let that happen again. 1311 01:21:53,320 --> 01:21:59,600 If she so that those conversations told the brain, 1312 01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:04,200 this is not good, something you want to avoid and this is 1313 01:22:04,200 --> 01:22:06,280 stressful and let's secrete cortisol. 1314 01:22:07,160 --> 01:22:11,000 But if instead she would have said, Oh my God, this is such a 1315 01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:13,080 great opportunity. And I'm not saying it in 1316 01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:15,520 positive thinking, but if you said wow, I just learned 1317 01:22:15,520 --> 01:22:19,040 something new today, would she have secreted cortisol? 1318 01:22:20,880 --> 01:22:25,520 Not necessarily. Probably not if 'cause she's not 1319 01:22:25,520 --> 01:22:26,960 giving. So if she's her body like. 1320 01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:29,480 Cortisol. Exactly. 1321 01:22:29,480 --> 01:22:33,640 She's not giving her brain the instruction and her brain will 1322 01:22:33,640 --> 01:22:36,040 then say tell the body what to secrete. 1323 01:22:36,320 --> 01:22:42,680 Mm hmm. If the conversation was what 1324 01:22:42,680 --> 01:22:45,280 actually occurred, she secrets cortisol. 1325 01:22:45,800 --> 01:22:48,680 If she said, wow, this was such a great learning opportunity, 1326 01:22:48,680 --> 01:22:51,720 perhaps she could have secreted dopamine and it would have felt 1327 01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:53,960 great that I just learned something new. 1328 01:22:54,280 --> 01:22:56,320 Hey, mommy, look, I just learned something new. 1329 01:22:56,320 --> 01:23:01,920 You know what that is? And so instead of me wanting to 1330 01:23:01,920 --> 01:23:04,640 deal with the feeling, and I know the source is the 1331 01:23:04,640 --> 01:23:08,640 conversation you have, and then we can go back and reverse 1332 01:23:08,640 --> 01:23:14,400 engineer where the the sort of genesis of that conversation and 1333 01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:21,280 then see that what actually happened is very, very distinct 1334 01:23:21,480 --> 01:23:25,000 from the story you made your interpretation of what happened. 1335 01:23:25,280 --> 01:23:29,200 So what happened is you're in the dentist office in the 1336 01:23:29,200 --> 01:23:31,880 waiting area with your mom. Other children are there with 1337 01:23:31,880 --> 01:23:34,280 their mom. The dentist comes out, he opens 1338 01:23:34,280 --> 01:23:36,280 the door and says, children, do you know what this is? 1339 01:23:36,560 --> 01:23:40,800 I said, oh, oh, I know. And I said X and he said no, 1340 01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:46,240 that's what happened. At no point did anything 1341 01:23:46,240 --> 01:23:50,080 embarrassing stupid. It never ever happened. 1342 01:23:50,440 --> 01:23:53,400 That is your interpretation. That's a whole story and 1343 01:23:53,400 --> 01:23:58,160 sometimes from some people write an entire novel about what they 1344 01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:00,800 think happened and how they want to avoid it. 1345 01:24:00,800 --> 01:24:07,720 That the conversation in that story is what's secreting the 1346 01:24:07,720 --> 01:24:13,680 biochemicals. So if we can like, confront that 1347 01:24:13,760 --> 01:24:17,560 and see the story you made and then have it as a distinction, 1348 01:24:17,560 --> 01:24:20,200 this is what actually happened. This is the story I made-up. 1349 01:24:20,480 --> 01:24:24,640 And now I can distinguish myself as a human being from the story 1350 01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:28,480 and what happened. I'm no longer stuck with the 1351 01:24:28,480 --> 01:24:33,240 story running my life. And I'm going to say whether 1352 01:24:33,240 --> 01:24:36,200 it's marriage, whether it's people avoiding breakthrough 1353 01:24:36,200 --> 01:24:40,000 initiatives, whether it's leaders avoiding transformation, 1354 01:24:40,320 --> 01:24:43,880 it's the story that people are avoiding. 1355 01:24:44,680 --> 01:24:47,480 They're not. And they have no way of dealing 1356 01:24:47,480 --> 01:24:49,880 with it. They are aware that the event 1357 01:24:49,880 --> 01:24:55,560 occurred, but they have no distinctions for being able to 1358 01:24:55,560 --> 01:24:59,960 reverse engineer and be able to dismantle it and no longer be 1359 01:24:59,960 --> 01:25:02,600 stuck. So once you can distinguish the 1360 01:25:02,600 --> 01:25:06,560 story, you now have something that you may have never had in 1361 01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:10,880 your life is a choice. Do I want to continue to live 1362 01:25:10,880 --> 01:25:14,280 with the story or am I going to live with what actually 1363 01:25:14,280 --> 01:25:17,240 happened? And you'll soon start to see how 1364 01:25:17,240 --> 01:25:20,200 that story has shaped other things in your life. 1365 01:25:21,200 --> 01:25:26,040 And it was kind of a a trap. So it's not the emotion, it's 1366 01:25:26,040 --> 01:25:31,600 the actual conversation that you made-up that became the catalyst 1367 01:25:31,600 --> 01:25:33,560 for the emotion. So if I only deal with the 1368 01:25:33,560 --> 01:25:36,800 emotion, I'm dealing with a symptom. 1369 01:25:37,160 --> 01:25:40,840 And so maybe I have to wait. People talk about how do you 1370 01:25:40,840 --> 01:25:44,400 hack your brain or have to make positive conversations to feel 1371 01:25:44,400 --> 01:25:48,080 good, to kind of cover up the story so that the story doesn't 1372 01:25:48,080 --> 01:25:53,520 bother me, But if I can actually confront it and deal with it, 1373 01:25:54,080 --> 01:25:58,040 the story begins to actually lose its power and now, and I 1374 01:25:58,040 --> 01:26:00,160 have the power to act. Yeah. 1375 01:26:00,920 --> 01:26:04,160 Absolutely, Absolutely. So at no point did I talk about 1376 01:26:04,160 --> 01:26:07,320 emotional intelligence. I know it sounds harsh to say 1377 01:26:07,320 --> 01:26:10,880 it's irrelevant, but I really want to get to the source of it 1378 01:26:10,880 --> 01:26:14,880 because my commitment is that people are free from the past 1379 01:26:15,120 --> 01:26:17,320 and they have the power to move forward. 1380 01:26:17,320 --> 01:26:22,200 And so if you don't deal with that, then you have to be 1381 01:26:22,200 --> 01:26:25,280 resilient. But if you can deal with that, 1382 01:26:25,520 --> 01:26:29,000 then you can go through it. And it's not this monkey on your 1383 01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:32,480 back that wants to derail you. You can go through. 1384 01:26:32,480 --> 01:26:37,120 Here's the punchline. Chaos is not chaos. 1385 01:26:37,120 --> 01:26:41,280 Mm hmm. It's something occurring. 1386 01:26:41,280 --> 01:26:46,880 It's something happening. What you say about what's 1387 01:26:46,880 --> 01:26:51,480 happening can be the story that derails you. 1388 01:26:51,920 --> 01:26:56,880 So what we are talking about now is self mastery. 1389 01:26:57,600 --> 01:27:00,760 We're not talking about creating a superhuman being because 1390 01:27:00,760 --> 01:27:04,040 things happen in life, right? I mean, I lost my parents, 1391 01:27:04,040 --> 01:27:06,640 right? People have lost jobs. 1392 01:27:06,640 --> 01:27:09,320 They've people have had all kinds of situations they don't 1393 01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:12,480 want to be in. So it's not saying we're 1394 01:27:12,480 --> 01:27:16,120 ignoring the things that happened, but it's giving you 1395 01:27:16,720 --> 01:27:23,160 power in your own life over about what happened so that when 1396 01:27:23,160 --> 01:27:27,520 something happens that reminds you of it, you're not stuck with 1397 01:27:27,720 --> 01:27:32,280 the story derailing you. And so now you have this level 1398 01:27:32,280 --> 01:27:36,720 of mastery that allows you to go on what people typically call 1399 01:27:36,720 --> 01:27:40,880 chaos. And you can see like this 1400 01:27:40,880 --> 01:27:45,200 opening for a set of actions that will support you to get 1401 01:27:45,200 --> 01:27:47,240 where you want. It's like for the average 1402 01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:50,200 person, if you want to play baseball and that ball's coming 1403 01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:53,480 at you 100 miles an hour, it's just like what just happened. 1404 01:27:53,760 --> 01:27:56,200 It just like it just kind of looks chaotic. 1405 01:27:56,200 --> 01:27:58,440 You don't know what to do with the ball coming that fast. 1406 01:27:58,640 --> 01:28:03,920 But a guy who's trained for that, he has distinctions for 1407 01:28:03,920 --> 01:28:08,120 that ball and he can see the threads and he knows which way 1408 01:28:08,440 --> 01:28:11,400 the threads are turning and he knows what kind of pitch it is. 1409 01:28:11,760 --> 01:28:15,520 And there are guys who see the ball coming and before it even 1410 01:28:15,520 --> 01:28:19,440 gets to them, they're saying that ball has home run written 1411 01:28:19,440 --> 01:28:21,680 all over it. That's mine. 1412 01:28:22,440 --> 01:28:26,080 And that's so it's creating that kind of mindset. 1413 01:28:26,080 --> 01:28:28,880 Not a pipe dream, not airy fairy, just do it. 1414 01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:31,120 There is a training, there's development. 1415 01:28:31,120 --> 01:28:35,760 It's, it's all of that, but it's actually being able to see 1416 01:28:35,760 --> 01:28:40,960 openings for actions where other people see their story that 1417 01:28:40,960 --> 01:28:44,720 derails them and they they haven't been able to confront, 1418 01:28:44,720 --> 01:28:50,480 dismantle and unlearn the story. So we finally got to the punch 1419 01:28:50,480 --> 01:28:53,240 line of chaos. Absolutely or. 1420 01:28:53,480 --> 01:28:55,000 Why? It's not really chaos. 1421 01:28:55,400 --> 01:29:01,320 Yes, yes, yes. The goal of the goal is not the 1422 01:29:01,320 --> 01:29:05,440 goal itself, but the person you become in the process of 1423 01:29:05,480 --> 01:29:10,480 achieving the goal. Really good yeah the journey is 1424 01:29:10,800 --> 01:29:13,520 can be more valuable than the final destination. 1425 01:29:13,760 --> 01:29:17,640 So chaos is never chaos. It's something that's occurring, 1426 01:29:17,880 --> 01:29:21,280 something happening like a 2 year old wanting to tie their 1427 01:29:21,280 --> 01:29:23,360 shoes. It could look chaotic, but for a 1428 01:29:23,360 --> 01:29:27,920 10 year old, it's no big deal. And if you're 20 and you're 1429 01:29:28,080 --> 01:29:31,360 having fits over your shoe string coming loose, people 1430 01:29:31,360 --> 01:29:34,480 start to have questions. You're 20 man, and you're, 1431 01:29:34,480 --> 01:29:37,400 you're freaking out over your shoe having to tie your shoe 1432 01:29:37,400 --> 01:29:39,320 string. My shoe string always go. 1433 01:29:39,560 --> 01:29:43,040 I can't tie my shoe strings. That's why I need Velcro. 1434 01:29:45,200 --> 01:29:50,520 I need a block off. Job to say that and we'll join 1435 01:29:50,520 --> 01:29:52,040 back soon. Wow. 1436 01:29:52,400 --> 01:29:54,280 OK. It's just so deep. 1437 01:29:54,520 --> 01:30:00,000 It's as deep and you know, I appreciate your what I say 1438 01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:04,200 unconventional philosophy. It's difficult for people to 1439 01:30:04,200 --> 01:30:08,520 understand the unconventional, right or to appreciate the 1440 01:30:08,600 --> 01:30:10,760 unconventional. If you don't understand it, how 1441 01:30:10,760 --> 01:30:12,320 can you even appreciate it, right? 1442 01:30:12,600 --> 01:30:16,920 And. How? 1443 01:30:16,960 --> 01:30:20,640 Yeah. If you don't understand me, that 1444 01:30:20,640 --> 01:30:24,040 you stand under me. You know, like lately in my life 1445 01:30:24,040 --> 01:30:34,480 I have decided to ignore like, a lot of people and not give, you 1446 01:30:34,480 --> 01:30:37,200 know, people too much attention. Why? 1447 01:30:37,240 --> 01:30:42,440 Because I discovered that there are a lot of low IQ individuals. 1448 01:30:42,440 --> 01:30:48,880 And when I was a teenager, I took the IQ test and I was a 1449 01:30:48,880 --> 01:30:52,520 gifted individual. Albert Einstein 446. 1450 01:30:52,520 --> 01:30:55,720 I am 130 something that is as a teenager. 1451 01:30:55,720 --> 01:30:57,360 I don't even know what I am right now. 1452 01:30:57,360 --> 01:30:59,520 I think I need to take the test again, right? 1453 01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:04,480 So I guess I should probably be in the warm 40s or 80s. 1454 01:31:04,480 --> 01:31:06,560 I don't know. But I know I have a very high 1455 01:31:06,560 --> 01:31:09,000 IQ. But one thing I've noticed over 1456 01:31:09,000 --> 01:31:15,080 time is whenever I am speaking to low IQ individuals, there's 1457 01:31:15,080 --> 01:31:19,960 always a very serious mismatch and they can't understand what 1458 01:31:19,960 --> 01:31:23,960 I'm saying. I don't understand the the logic 1459 01:31:23,960 --> 01:31:28,760 behind what they're trying to, you know, argue about. 1460 01:31:28,760 --> 01:31:31,320 Because, you know, in philosophy there's something called logic, 1461 01:31:31,800 --> 01:31:34,760 right argumentation and critical reasoning, right? 1462 01:31:34,760 --> 01:31:39,480 For you to compose a solid argument, you need to have a 1463 01:31:39,520 --> 01:31:44,600 string of logical premises before arriving at a logical 1464 01:31:44,600 --> 01:31:48,320 conclusion. If the premises are flawed, then 1465 01:31:48,400 --> 01:31:52,920 you have a flawed argument. But people a lot of people right 1466 01:31:53,760 --> 01:31:57,720 that are low I key individuals string together illogical 1467 01:31:57,920 --> 01:32:01,960 premises to miss your conclusion and then he's be confused. 1468 01:32:01,960 --> 01:32:05,120 I'm like, OK, I give up if they say anything I I'll talk. 1469 01:32:05,120 --> 01:32:07,760 OK, no problem. I think so. 1470 01:32:07,760 --> 01:32:10,600 Here's. Here's here's here's a here's a 1471 01:32:10,600 --> 01:32:13,960 challenge with that. Imagine we're back nine 2100 1472 01:32:13,960 --> 01:32:17,400 years ago. It's 1925, and we meet a guy 1473 01:32:17,400 --> 01:32:20,160 named Robert Goddard who says we're gonna fly, man, to the 1474 01:32:20,160 --> 01:32:21,960 moon. And it's like, well, just 20 1475 01:32:21,960 --> 01:32:24,760 years ago, we just started flying, and now you're saying 1476 01:32:24,760 --> 01:32:28,120 we're going to fly to the moon. And so that would sound 1477 01:32:28,120 --> 01:32:30,560 illogical, wouldn't it? It would be like, how did you 1478 01:32:30,560 --> 01:32:33,920 get there? And do either of you know that 1479 01:32:34,120 --> 01:32:38,280 cars built in the early 1900s had a top speed of 40 miles an 1480 01:32:38,280 --> 01:32:39,320 hour? Did you know that? 1481 01:32:40,000 --> 01:32:42,560 Yes, I did, yeah. Did you? 1482 01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:43,880 Because either. Why? 1483 01:32:44,160 --> 01:32:48,120 In the UK that that's the for a lot of roads. 1484 01:32:48,640 --> 01:32:52,400 Do you know why those cars were built with a top speed of 40 1485 01:32:52,400 --> 01:32:54,560 miles an hour? I guess. 1486 01:32:54,560 --> 01:32:59,440 I mean for safety. Reasons for safety, OK, yeah, it 1487 01:32:59,440 --> 01:33:03,600 has to be safety reasons, yeah. OK, so Noella, you're going to 1488 01:33:03,600 --> 01:33:05,840 appreciate this. What's the fastest you've ever 1489 01:33:05,840 --> 01:33:12,000 driven a car, Noella? Personally, maybe. 1120, yeah. 1490 01:33:12,320 --> 01:33:14,800 I was going to say fastest one 10120. 1491 01:33:15,120 --> 01:33:16,720 Don't ask me, I have a speed demo. 1492 01:33:17,160 --> 01:33:23,920 Don't ask, don't ask me. I've done 200 before man. 1493 01:33:24,960 --> 01:33:26,440 Oh wow. That's awesome. 1494 01:33:26,800 --> 01:33:28,120 Yeah. So. 1495 01:33:28,120 --> 01:33:32,680 So, Noella, in early nights, you would have been endangering your 1496 01:33:32,680 --> 01:33:36,400 life. They believed that if a woman 1497 01:33:36,400 --> 01:33:39,720 traveled in an automobile more than 40 miles an hour, her 1498 01:33:39,720 --> 01:33:45,920 uterus would explode. That's very interesting and. 1499 01:33:48,720 --> 01:33:52,240 And it was a scientific fact. And science is ever evolving. 1500 01:33:52,600 --> 01:33:55,000 Science is ever evolving for sure. 1501 01:33:55,520 --> 01:33:58,200 Can you imagine that? The person who disrupted that 1502 01:33:58,200 --> 01:34:02,320 and said, I'm going to make a car that goes 50 mile, 50 miles 1503 01:34:02,320 --> 01:34:04,280 an hour. Imagine they're like, you're 1504 01:34:04,280 --> 01:34:07,040 crazy. You can't do that. 1505 01:34:09,120 --> 01:34:13,480 Well, well, let's get to 100. But no, the, the, it may be the 1506 01:34:13,480 --> 01:34:16,800 engine will make it with the, the human body won't sustain 1507 01:34:16,800 --> 01:34:20,600 that. And now to fly out of the 1508 01:34:20,600 --> 01:34:24,320 Earth's gravitational pull, you have to travel over 17,000 miles 1509 01:34:24,320 --> 01:34:27,560 an hour. So imagine in the 19, imagine 1510 01:34:27,880 --> 01:34:32,360 early 1900's, the woman's uterus would explode if he goes more 1511 01:34:32,360 --> 01:34:35,400 than 40 miles an hour and a guy named Robert Goddard's. 1512 01:34:35,440 --> 01:34:38,160 And so 40 miles an hour is the top speed. 1513 01:34:38,680 --> 01:34:42,600 And when the Wright brothers invented flying, that belief was 1514 01:34:42,600 --> 01:34:45,240 still there. That conversation was still a 1515 01:34:45,240 --> 01:34:48,760 fact of life. So imagine an airplane today. 1516 01:34:48,760 --> 01:34:52,240 Imagine we never disrupted that in our airplanes, only flew 40 1517 01:34:52,240 --> 01:34:55,720 miles an hour as a top speed. How many people could you put on 1518 01:34:55,720 --> 01:34:58,120 a plane? There'd be no 747. 1519 01:34:58,360 --> 01:35:01,680 Right. So there are lots of 1520 01:35:02,400 --> 01:35:06,400 conversations that derail us from possibilities that are 1521 01:35:06,400 --> 01:35:09,080 beyond what we can see right now. 1522 01:35:09,680 --> 01:35:13,520 And so people will say, well, he was just ahead of his time, but 1523 01:35:13,520 --> 01:35:17,080 it's it's transforming those conversations. 1524 01:35:17,080 --> 01:35:19,760 No different than running the mile in under 4 minutes. 1525 01:35:19,760 --> 01:35:24,600 There are just so many examples. Copernicus telling people that 1526 01:35:24,600 --> 01:35:28,000 the Earth was not the center of the universe, They had a problem 1527 01:35:28,000 --> 01:35:30,480 with that. Yes, he didn't live long because 1528 01:35:30,480 --> 01:35:34,200 of that. And we actually, we talk a lot 1529 01:35:34,200 --> 01:35:39,400 about technological advancement and the conversation around AI 1530 01:35:39,400 --> 01:35:42,480 and other industries and how it's impacting every industry 1531 01:35:42,480 --> 01:35:44,480 right now. And it's funny, just earlier 1532 01:35:44,480 --> 01:35:50,800 we're mentioning that it's quite interesting, but quite 1533 01:35:50,800 --> 01:35:56,800 impossible to see where AI is going to move within the next 1534 01:35:56,800 --> 01:36:03,200 five years, next 10 years, because we cannot predict how we 1535 01:36:03,200 --> 01:36:06,400 underestimate it. And even when we don't realize 1536 01:36:06,400 --> 01:36:09,520 we're underestimating it, we still are underestimating it. 1537 01:36:09,800 --> 01:36:14,840 And I think that that goes straight into kind of all of all 1538 01:36:14,840 --> 01:36:19,520 of the disruption and all of the things that businesses have to 1539 01:36:19,520 --> 01:36:25,200 face, not even just an AI, but there's no way to really 1540 01:36:25,200 --> 01:36:29,040 actually plan for. All we can really plan around is 1541 01:36:30,880 --> 01:36:34,600 how we move through or if we're able to go into a flow state 1542 01:36:34,600 --> 01:36:38,400 during that time and allow the rest of our body to take over 1543 01:36:38,640 --> 01:36:43,360 and trust the system or the group or whatever we've built in 1544 01:36:43,360 --> 01:36:46,680 that system. It's really interesting to hear 1545 01:36:46,920 --> 01:36:53,040 that kind of the stance on emotional regulation because you 1546 01:36:53,040 --> 01:36:57,000 have a book about love and leadership and when people talk 1547 01:36:57,000 --> 01:37:01,720 about relationships and love and all of that, it's very 1548 01:37:02,520 --> 01:37:05,680 emotionally charged. It's a very emotionally charged 1549 01:37:05,680 --> 01:37:08,520 topic. Your book is called Here's Why 1550 01:37:08,520 --> 01:37:13,400 You Can't Find Love and it actually links relationship 1551 01:37:13,400 --> 01:37:17,040 struggles to business performance and you talk about 1552 01:37:17,040 --> 01:37:21,840 paradigm shifting. What parallels do you see 1553 01:37:22,200 --> 01:37:28,280 between personal self sabotage and professional self sabotage, 1554 01:37:28,280 --> 01:37:32,000 or between interrelationship when it comes to the romantic 1555 01:37:32,000 --> 01:37:36,320 aspect and the work you're doing with businesses when it comes to 1556 01:37:36,320 --> 01:37:40,880 maybe understanding disruption and understanding that chaos is 1557 01:37:40,880 --> 01:37:43,840 not really chaos, What are the parallels between those 2 1558 01:37:43,840 --> 01:37:46,000 industries? So lots of them. 1559 01:37:46,000 --> 01:37:50,920 The first is a financial impact. So do you know that corporate 1560 01:37:50,920 --> 01:37:54,280 America is losing $300 billion every year in workplace 1561 01:37:54,280 --> 01:37:58,880 productivity? I have heard a similar, yeah, a 1562 01:37:58,880 --> 01:38:03,600 similar stance for sure. Why do you think that is and 1563 01:38:03,600 --> 01:38:05,120 what do you think the parallels of that I'm? 1564 01:38:05,160 --> 01:38:07,840 Going to ask you what? Do you know why they are losing 1565 01:38:07,840 --> 01:38:11,440 300 billion every year? In productivity. 1566 01:38:12,080 --> 01:38:14,240 Divorce. No, no, no, you. 1567 01:38:14,280 --> 01:38:15,920 You have to let her see your your well. 1568 01:38:16,120 --> 01:38:21,600 I'm curious, I'm curious to know if it's because of an efficient 1569 01:38:21,600 --> 01:38:24,680 or, you know, unaligned workplace relationships or the 1570 01:38:24,680 --> 01:38:27,080 lack of quality in workplace relationships. 1571 01:38:27,080 --> 01:38:31,800 But I haven't had any, I haven't been able to do any research on 1572 01:38:31,800 --> 01:38:34,080 it. So I'm actually very excited and 1573 01:38:34,680 --> 01:38:38,120 to hear your stance on it. But I don't have a stance on it. 1574 01:38:38,320 --> 01:38:40,640 So there's an organization called Life Innovation. 1575 01:38:40,640 --> 01:38:44,240 They did the research and they found that corporate America is 1576 01:38:44,240 --> 01:38:49,360 losing $300 billion every year in workplace productivity 1577 01:38:49,360 --> 01:38:55,320 because of one word divorce. Wow, OK. 1578 01:38:55,840 --> 01:39:00,280 So divorce and, and you can throw in there, you know, bad 1579 01:39:00,280 --> 01:39:02,960 relationships, whether an engagement broke up or a 1580 01:39:02,960 --> 01:39:05,280 relationship that just fell apart. 1581 01:39:06,080 --> 01:39:09,080 And they also found, there's another organization that found 1582 01:39:09,080 --> 01:39:11,560 that when a person is going through divorce, their workplace 1583 01:39:11,560 --> 01:39:15,000 performance drops by 50 to 75%, right? 1584 01:39:15,240 --> 01:39:20,680 So imagine a divorce rate of like 53% in the US. 1585 01:39:20,840 --> 01:39:26,000 That's a lot of people being affected and being not 1586 01:39:26,000 --> 01:39:27,920 performing. They're really underperforming 1587 01:39:27,920 --> 01:39:32,320 and it's not intentional. They just have a distraction and 1588 01:39:32,320 --> 01:39:35,640 you could say they are in the midst of what appears to be 1589 01:39:35,640 --> 01:39:39,120 chaotic. They are in a situation they 1590 01:39:39,120 --> 01:39:43,480 never wanted to be in. Most people do not marry to get 1591 01:39:43,480 --> 01:39:46,920 a divorce. I would assume perhaps there 1592 01:39:46,920 --> 01:39:50,280 are, there is a percentage of people, but even if they did 1593 01:39:50,280 --> 01:39:54,320 plan, it probably didn't go the way they wanted the divorce to 1594 01:39:54,320 --> 01:39:56,440 go. So there's a fight if there's 1595 01:39:56,440 --> 01:40:00,120 children, if there are assets, and just the whole dealings and 1596 01:40:00,160 --> 01:40:04,640 courts and lawyers and all those conversations that are really 1597 01:40:04,640 --> 01:40:09,280 designed to create cortisol secretions with. 1598 01:40:09,320 --> 01:40:17,320 People, so you are or the purpose of your book was to 1599 01:40:17,920 --> 01:40:24,360 really bring light and information and possibly healing 1600 01:40:24,360 --> 01:40:31,040 to the insanely damaging financial impact on the 1601 01:40:31,040 --> 01:40:34,640 corporate world just through divorce and relationships. 1602 01:40:34,840 --> 01:40:39,640 Are there any maybe self sabotage patterns or 1603 01:40:40,120 --> 01:40:45,200 professional patterns or barriers or transformations 1604 01:40:45,200 --> 01:40:49,040 between relationships into the corporate world that you've seen 1605 01:40:49,040 --> 01:40:53,000 or you've been able to witness or even coach on at all in your 1606 01:40:53,000 --> 01:40:54,880 practice? Sure, sure. 1607 01:40:55,160 --> 01:40:59,160 So the the same things that derail you and breakthrough 1608 01:40:59,360 --> 01:41:01,760 initiatives will derail you and your relationships. 1609 01:41:01,760 --> 01:41:04,800 It's really the stories. It's the things about your past 1610 01:41:05,240 --> 01:41:08,640 that you have a story about and this person reminds you. 1611 01:41:08,680 --> 01:41:11,720 So I wrote the book not to provide information. 1612 01:41:11,720 --> 01:41:16,960 I wrote the book as a guide and a journey of transformation for 1613 01:41:16,960 --> 01:41:20,320 the reader. So I didn't write it as this is 1614 01:41:20,320 --> 01:41:25,080 a Ted talk and Ted is telling you like I am Ted and this is a 1615 01:41:25,160 --> 01:41:28,280 Ted talk. I I didn't write it for that. 1616 01:41:28,400 --> 01:41:32,680 It's written in a way that it's dynamic in a way the reader can 1617 01:41:32,680 --> 01:41:35,080 relate to it. So it's almost like a workshop. 1618 01:41:35,080 --> 01:41:39,960 There are five women, 5 separate characters who are engaging me 1619 01:41:39,960 --> 01:41:42,880 in a conversation about relationships. 1620 01:41:42,880 --> 01:41:45,400 And it's like Ted, but you're a guy and how could you see it 1621 01:41:45,400 --> 01:41:47,200 that way? And this doesn't make sense. 1622 01:41:47,200 --> 01:41:51,320 And so the reader will go on the journey of transformation with 1623 01:41:51,320 --> 01:41:53,640 the people. And it's based on a real 1624 01:41:53,640 --> 01:41:57,440 situation. So I read it so that the reader, 1625 01:41:58,360 --> 01:42:02,440 their perspective of relationships is transformed and 1626 01:42:02,440 --> 01:42:05,520 they have a greater capacity for being in a relationship. 1627 01:42:05,880 --> 01:42:11,520 So if we can reduce or eliminate divorce in the US, we can get 1628 01:42:11,520 --> 01:42:15,440 rid of that $300 billion in workplace productivity because 1629 01:42:16,120 --> 01:42:21,560 with that much productivity loss, corporations will usually 1630 01:42:21,640 --> 01:42:23,760 tend to lay people off at some point. 1631 01:42:24,560 --> 01:42:28,760 And that affects everyone. So I think Google, I think it's 1632 01:42:28,760 --> 01:42:32,240 Google just announced they're going to layoff 14,000 people. 1633 01:42:32,240 --> 01:42:35,960 That's a lot. So that means possibly the auto 1634 01:42:35,960 --> 01:42:39,200 car automakers will layoff people and then the home 1635 01:42:39,480 --> 01:42:42,160 builders will layoff people in the washer and dryer will let 1636 01:42:42,160 --> 01:42:43,800 you know. It's this downward spiral. 1637 01:42:44,320 --> 01:42:48,840 So I'd like to contribute to eliminating that. 1638 01:42:48,920 --> 01:42:55,360 So if you can train your people to be more effective in managing 1639 01:42:55,360 --> 01:42:59,080 chaos and conflict and problems in the workplace, they will 1640 01:42:59,080 --> 01:43:03,040 develop the tools, the skills, competencies that they own and 1641 01:43:03,040 --> 01:43:05,880 take them home and have better marriages. 1642 01:43:06,520 --> 01:43:09,880 And a big part of it is conflict resolution. 1643 01:43:09,880 --> 01:43:13,520 So when we were talking about the woman in the dentist's 1644 01:43:13,520 --> 01:43:17,160 office, if she gets into a situation where she believes she 1645 01:43:17,160 --> 01:43:20,880 has to fight to be right, she's in conflict with herself because 1646 01:43:21,080 --> 01:43:25,280 there's this thing from the past she wants to avoid and there's 1647 01:43:25,400 --> 01:43:28,320 something she wants to discuss, and now she's in conflict. 1648 01:43:28,320 --> 01:43:34,880 So she's in a conflict with the person and not realizing that 1649 01:43:34,880 --> 01:43:37,640 she's really in conflict with this thing from the past that 1650 01:43:37,640 --> 01:43:41,920 she's fighting to avoid. That's the essence of conflict 1651 01:43:41,920 --> 01:43:45,320 resolution. The conflict almost never has to 1652 01:43:45,320 --> 01:43:47,680 deal with the other person or the situation. 1653 01:43:48,040 --> 01:43:52,040 It's the conflict you're having with yourself that you want to 1654 01:43:52,040 --> 01:43:56,960 avoid, and you haven't addressed it to be able to unlearn it. 1655 01:43:57,400 --> 01:44:03,360 And if people could develop that, then in their marriages, 1656 01:44:03,880 --> 01:44:06,880 the conflicts that occur, they'll, they'll find that 1657 01:44:07,560 --> 01:44:12,480 technically there was never a conflict with the other person. 1658 01:44:12,760 --> 01:44:17,400 There's something that reminded them and they went into this 1659 01:44:17,400 --> 01:44:20,760 whole survival, this thing that I have to avoid. 1660 01:44:21,000 --> 01:44:23,920 And I'm going to look bad if I allow myself to go back to that. 1661 01:44:23,920 --> 01:44:26,320 So I have to fight, you know, I have to fight. 1662 01:44:26,680 --> 01:44:29,760 And they end up with a divorce when really there was just a 1663 01:44:29,760 --> 01:44:34,960 misunderstanding and the the proper questions were not being 1664 01:44:34,960 --> 01:44:37,280 asked. There was more of a defense. 1665 01:44:37,280 --> 01:44:39,760 They went into defense mode. That's a lot to impact. 1666 01:44:39,840 --> 01:44:42,760 I think I like to talk about engineering growth through 1667 01:44:42,880 --> 01:44:47,840 pressure, pressure the CE makes. Diamond Engineering growth, 1668 01:44:48,120 --> 01:44:50,280 Yeah, through. Pressure, right? 1669 01:44:50,400 --> 01:44:51,800 Pressure. The CE makes diamonds. 1670 01:44:51,880 --> 01:44:55,760 Yeah. So how can CE OS intentionally 1671 01:44:55,760 --> 01:45:01,480 design healthy stress right within their teams to spark 1672 01:45:01,480 --> 01:45:03,880 innovation instead of sparking burnout? 1673 01:45:05,800 --> 01:45:11,840 So I'm going to say that as long as we as a society keep talking 1674 01:45:11,840 --> 01:45:15,800 about how burnt out people are, we'll be right about that. 1675 01:45:16,920 --> 01:45:20,840 We are enabling and telling people to be burnt out. 1676 01:45:20,880 --> 01:45:24,600 It it's almost like we're giving people an excuse to be an 1677 01:45:24,600 --> 01:45:28,880 underperformer. That's a conversation that 1678 01:45:28,880 --> 01:45:32,120 really needs to transform. We're talking about burning out. 1679 01:45:32,480 --> 01:45:37,240 Because when you put someone in an environment or situation and 1680 01:45:37,240 --> 01:45:41,560 they say they really love doing this, they'll work right through 1681 01:45:41,560 --> 01:45:45,920 for hours and never know that time went by and they'll never 1682 01:45:45,920 --> 01:45:49,200 say I'm burnt out. So if you create an environment 1683 01:45:49,200 --> 01:45:53,320 where people don't know how to address the conflicts they're 1684 01:45:53,320 --> 01:45:56,520 having with themselves, it's easy to go to burnout. 1685 01:45:58,240 --> 01:46:00,920 So it's it's not the burnout we want to address. 1686 01:46:01,280 --> 01:46:06,760 It's the mindset of the people who are more nimble and able to 1687 01:46:06,760 --> 01:46:09,280 manage what's occurring in front of them. 1688 01:46:09,640 --> 01:46:13,080 And so that way chaos actually disappeared and it's just 1689 01:46:13,240 --> 01:46:16,280 something that's occurring and I've got I have to manage that. 1690 01:46:16,320 --> 01:46:18,640 Pro athletes are really great at this. 1691 01:46:18,880 --> 01:46:20,880 Like the top athletes, you're running back. 1692 01:46:21,280 --> 01:46:24,080 Football can be considered chaotic and stressful. 1693 01:46:24,080 --> 01:46:26,160 You gave me the ball. These guys are coming to kill 1694 01:46:26,160 --> 01:46:30,520 me, but you don't lay on the ground and say, Oh my God, don't 1695 01:46:30,520 --> 01:46:32,800 hit me. You've run right through those 1696 01:46:32,800 --> 01:46:37,240 guys and you may have moved. Some may be more powerful and 1697 01:46:37,240 --> 01:46:40,560 they run, they forced through and others can move there and 1698 01:46:40,560 --> 01:46:43,720 they have the agility to take the hit, spin around and and 1699 01:46:43,720 --> 01:46:46,760 keep going. But they trained for that and 1700 01:46:46,760 --> 01:46:49,920 there's a mindset. It's kind of like a mindset of 1701 01:46:49,920 --> 01:46:52,800 running with broken legs. There's this unstoppable 1702 01:46:52,800 --> 01:46:57,840 mindset. It's interesting, you actually 1703 01:46:58,200 --> 01:47:01,440 are a trainer of CEOs and he feels like you. 1704 01:47:01,440 --> 01:47:07,840 You took what I say some pages off 2 CEOs we've had on this 1705 01:47:07,840 --> 01:47:10,560 show. One earlier today, the CEO of 1706 01:47:10,560 --> 01:47:13,400 Keeper, he spoke exactly what you're talking about. 1707 01:47:13,400 --> 01:47:17,600 He said he likes to make sure that people are passionate about 1708 01:47:17,600 --> 01:47:20,560 the job they do in his company. If you're passionate about 1709 01:47:20,560 --> 01:47:23,880 something, you will walk right through the fire to get it done. 1710 01:47:25,360 --> 01:47:28,720 And he said something he said I would never, I would never work 1711 01:47:28,720 --> 01:47:30,320 on something I'm not passionate about. 1712 01:47:30,320 --> 01:47:33,600 If I get bored, you know, I have some sweet what I'm working on. 1713 01:47:33,720 --> 01:47:38,480 And you know, that speaks to even what we do here myself and 1714 01:47:38,480 --> 01:47:41,640 Noella, like we're passionate about communication. 1715 01:47:41,640 --> 01:47:46,080 I'm passionate about music. And sometimes we probably like 1716 01:47:46,080 --> 01:47:50,680 get what I say, maybe offers to do something we're not 1717 01:47:50,680 --> 01:47:54,200 passionate about and we end up not pursuing those offers 1718 01:47:54,200 --> 01:47:58,120 because you will. That is writing a letter to 1719 01:47:58,120 --> 01:48:02,240 burnout, right? And the CEO of Ticor at the 1720 01:48:02,240 --> 01:48:06,200 investment company, it's an investment source too. 1721 01:48:07,160 --> 01:48:10,520 He said something. He said his own blueprint is he 1722 01:48:10,520 --> 01:48:16,120 likes to employ X pro athletes. Like for you to work with Ticor, 1723 01:48:16,200 --> 01:48:18,040 you have to be an athlete, right? 1724 01:48:18,040 --> 01:48:22,960 Because athletes on this TAD, you know, the process, the 1725 01:48:22,960 --> 01:48:27,440 mindset of doing repetitive tasks, you know we have a 1726 01:48:27,440 --> 01:48:30,080 discipline you don't. He doesn't like to trim. 1727 01:48:30,080 --> 01:48:33,920 People on the mindset he. Guess people who are pre trained 1728 01:48:33,920 --> 01:48:37,520 at athletes have that mindset, you know, ready made, you know, 1729 01:48:37,760 --> 01:48:39,840 it's a default setting for for athletes. 1730 01:48:39,920 --> 01:48:42,520 That's one thing you know, I really appreciate it even about 1731 01:48:42,520 --> 01:48:44,880 my own background. You know, I was involved in 1732 01:48:44,880 --> 01:48:49,040 martial arts very early on in life, you know, from Taekwondo 1733 01:48:49,040 --> 01:48:51,880 to karate, judo, mixed martial arts. 1734 01:48:51,920 --> 01:48:54,280 And he taught me something even till today. 1735 01:48:54,280 --> 01:48:58,320 I'm always very confident. And we I go to because I know, 1736 01:48:58,320 --> 01:49:02,760 yeah, I can handle business. And you know, he gives me that 1737 01:49:02,760 --> 01:49:06,720 discipline of being able to do things even when I don't feel 1738 01:49:06,720 --> 01:49:09,200 like doing it. If I put my mind to it, I can 1739 01:49:09,200 --> 01:49:12,400 get it done. And another thing is if you, if 1740 01:49:12,400 --> 01:49:14,760 you doubt me, I think doubt is fuel for me. 1741 01:49:14,920 --> 01:49:18,520 Just doubt me and. You'll see me do it so. 1742 01:49:19,160 --> 01:49:22,560 Yeah, athletes actually have, you know, that dissipate of 1743 01:49:22,560 --> 01:49:25,480 getting things done even when it is difficult. 1744 01:49:25,480 --> 01:49:29,080 And they enjoy that chaotic, you know, process. 1745 01:49:29,280 --> 01:49:32,080 And, you know, there's something with putting yourself through 1746 01:49:32,360 --> 01:49:36,080 difficult situations, right? Earlier on in this interview, 1747 01:49:36,080 --> 01:49:40,000 you talked about how sometimes you discover things, debug 1748 01:49:40,000 --> 01:49:41,840 yourself. And you know, it reminded me of 1749 01:49:42,120 --> 01:49:45,800 like setting workouts. There was a time I used to do 1750 01:49:46,160 --> 01:49:49,200 easily. Now I can do 5 kilometers. 1751 01:49:49,880 --> 01:49:53,080 But just like when the weather tells me earlier today, I just 1752 01:49:53,080 --> 01:49:55,360 stood up and eat 5 kilometers, right. 1753 01:49:55,640 --> 01:50:00,320 But at some point I was doing 10 kilometers. 1754 01:50:00,680 --> 01:50:04,000 And I think there was a day I, I think I broke about 15 1755 01:50:04,000 --> 01:50:11,720 kilometers exceeded it. And when you go past five, you 1756 01:50:11,720 --> 01:50:13,120 know, that's what you do regularly. 1757 01:50:13,760 --> 01:50:17,920 When you get to 10, your body is telling you, oh, bro, you're 1758 01:50:17,920 --> 01:50:24,000 tired. When you stretch to 15, your 1759 01:50:24,000 --> 01:50:29,160 body goes to a very, very dark place if you've got trained for 1760 01:50:29,160 --> 01:50:35,080 it. And you know, I like to stretch 1761 01:50:35,680 --> 01:50:37,760 right? So I want you to talk about it, 1762 01:50:37,760 --> 01:50:41,360 right? When you go to that dark place 1763 01:50:41,640 --> 01:50:44,600 and you exceed your record, right? 1764 01:50:44,880 --> 01:50:49,000 You discover things about yourself that you never before 1765 01:50:49,400 --> 01:50:52,640 knew were possible, right? What's the psychology behind? 1766 01:50:52,640 --> 01:50:56,120 That the way, the way to get there is I have to ask the two 1767 01:50:56,120 --> 01:51:00,600 of you a question. I'm going to present both of you 1768 01:51:00,800 --> 01:51:05,560 with a relationship, an intimate relationship and you have two 1769 01:51:05,560 --> 01:51:09,120 different people and the people are equal in looks and tell it 1770 01:51:09,120 --> 01:51:11,200 like they're equal in the things that you want. 1771 01:51:11,440 --> 01:51:15,120 But here's here's what's going to happen. 1772 01:51:15,600 --> 01:51:21,400 And one or the other in one relationship, it's going to be 1773 01:51:21,400 --> 01:51:26,720 very passionate. That's you have a choice between 1774 01:51:26,720 --> 01:51:31,040 this very passionate person with this person, or you have the 1775 01:51:31,040 --> 01:51:35,280 choice of a highly committed person, a highly committed 1776 01:51:35,280 --> 01:51:36,880 relationship with the other person. 1777 01:51:37,600 --> 01:51:40,480 Which relationship are you choosing? 1778 01:51:43,960 --> 01:51:48,800 Are those the only two choices? So if you want polygamy, we can 1779 01:51:48,800 --> 01:51:52,200 create a third, but or you can have them both this, this is 1780 01:51:52,200 --> 01:51:55,320 this is about this is it, this is game time. 1781 01:51:55,320 --> 01:51:57,720 It's making a decision. This is a choice. 1782 01:51:57,880 --> 01:51:59,960 This is your life. This. 1783 01:52:00,000 --> 01:52:01,720 You're. Choosing the passionate. 1784 01:52:01,720 --> 01:52:03,720 I said if we're doing polygamy, I got it. 1785 01:52:05,000 --> 01:52:08,400 You're going to have to make a choice, one or the other. 1786 01:52:09,040 --> 01:52:10,800 You got to be a great decision maker here. 1787 01:52:11,160 --> 01:52:15,440 You choose the person who's going to be who it, with whom it 1788 01:52:15,440 --> 01:52:19,360 will be very passionate or you choose the highly committed 1789 01:52:19,440 --> 01:52:22,760 relationship. Which are you choosing? 1790 01:52:24,800 --> 01:52:28,440 The clock is ticking. What if I don't choose anyone? 1791 01:52:29,320 --> 01:52:36,000 Well, I would choose. I think it's interesting because 1792 01:52:38,400 --> 01:52:42,440 it does give a parallel to business and how we're speaking 1793 01:52:42,440 --> 01:52:47,520 earlier about if they are working in a scope that they are 1794 01:52:47,520 --> 01:52:52,320 passionate about, then they can work for hours and hours and 1795 01:52:52,320 --> 01:52:56,120 hours and hours and hours and there is no burnout, in which 1796 01:52:56,120 --> 01:52:59,200 case the commitment would come naturally. 1797 01:52:59,360 --> 01:53:00,040 Nope. Nope. 1798 01:53:00,200 --> 01:53:00,800 You don't. Nope. 1799 01:53:01,040 --> 01:53:03,320 You get highly committed or passionate. 1800 01:53:03,400 --> 01:53:05,040 That's it. That sounds horrible. 1801 01:53:05,080 --> 01:53:09,560 I was. No, but this, this is life. 1802 01:53:09,560 --> 01:53:11,760 This is life. Life is about making these 1803 01:53:11,760 --> 01:53:14,120 choices. Every day, every second of your 1804 01:53:14,120 --> 01:53:17,760 life, you're making choices, and this is an important one. 1805 01:53:19,040 --> 01:53:22,400 You're choosing that this person can be your spouse, and the 1806 01:53:22,400 --> 01:53:25,680 choice of a spouse is the most important decision to make in 1807 01:53:25,680 --> 01:53:27,520 your life. Hi Ted. 1808 01:53:27,600 --> 01:53:30,480 I guess maybe that's why I'll go Barry till till now. 1809 01:53:32,080 --> 01:53:33,520 That's all right. Yeah. 1810 01:53:33,800 --> 01:53:36,600 I I'm I'm asking you both to answer the question. 1811 01:53:36,840 --> 01:53:39,320 It's interesting you're both struggling with this. 1812 01:53:39,520 --> 01:53:42,240 It's a very simple question. I would very simple. 1813 01:53:42,680 --> 01:53:46,960 If it's for so we're speaking about a life partner, then I 1814 01:53:46,960 --> 01:53:52,400 would say and you and if we know for a fact that the passion 1815 01:53:52,400 --> 01:53:55,040 would be without commitment, then I would choose commitment. 1816 01:53:55,560 --> 01:54:00,400 But I do believe that in the right relationship that. 1817 01:54:01,360 --> 01:54:03,600 No, no, you, you're choosing between two people. 1818 01:54:03,880 --> 01:54:06,200 OK, this is it. It's it's really cut and dry 1819 01:54:06,640 --> 01:54:09,600 because one person is going to be highly, is going to be very 1820 01:54:09,600 --> 01:54:11,240 passionate. The other one is highly 1821 01:54:11,240 --> 01:54:13,040 committed. Then I would choose highly 1822 01:54:13,040 --> 01:54:15,120 committed. OK, great. 1823 01:54:15,160 --> 01:54:17,240 Thank you. Which of you choose me? 1824 01:54:19,000 --> 01:54:21,040 He's. Choosing highly passionate. 1825 01:54:21,880 --> 01:54:23,360 Why? Why you choosing for me? 1826 01:54:24,680 --> 01:54:26,480 I think I'll go. I'll go with committed. 1827 01:54:27,280 --> 01:54:29,280 Yeah, I think I'll go committed. Yeah, now. 1828 01:54:29,560 --> 01:54:31,560 Isn't this interesting? Isn't this? 1829 01:54:31,800 --> 01:54:34,880 Interesting when the red. No, no, wait, wait, wait. 1830 01:54:35,280 --> 01:54:38,840 Hold on, hold on, hold on. When the rubber meets, when the 1831 01:54:38,840 --> 01:54:43,080 rubber meets the road, when it's really important, what do people 1832 01:54:43,080 --> 01:54:45,800 choose? I've asked countless people this 1833 01:54:45,800 --> 01:54:48,720 question. Only one person ever said 1834 01:54:48,720 --> 01:54:52,640 passionate, and everyone else says Kylie committed. 1835 01:54:52,760 --> 01:54:56,360 Yet we talk about wanting to be passionate about things. 1836 01:54:56,960 --> 01:55:00,800 When you look at an athlete like Usain Bolt, you don't see a guy 1837 01:55:00,800 --> 01:55:03,960 who's highly passionate about running, because when that guy 1838 01:55:03,960 --> 01:55:07,600 trains, he trains so hard that he vomits. 1839 01:55:08,560 --> 01:55:12,360 When it's passionate, you do it when it feels good. 1840 01:55:12,560 --> 01:55:15,480 In the moment, it's not feeling good and you're vomiting. 1841 01:55:15,480 --> 01:55:17,400 This doesn't resonate and I'm out. 1842 01:55:17,400 --> 01:55:20,600 But when you're highly committed, none of that matters. 1843 01:55:20,880 --> 01:55:25,120 So the divorce courts are filled with passionate couples. 1844 01:55:25,200 --> 01:55:29,640 It's filled with them, but I promise you, it's not filled 1845 01:55:29,640 --> 01:55:32,760 with highly committed couples because those highly committed 1846 01:55:32,760 --> 01:55:36,400 couples worked together. They're committed to making it 1847 01:55:36,400 --> 01:55:40,160 work and they will do the training, preparation, whatever 1848 01:55:40,160 --> 01:55:43,640 it takes to make sure they understand one another and work 1849 01:55:43,640 --> 01:55:46,360 it through. Highly passionate. 1850 01:55:46,680 --> 01:55:50,960 There's a feeling I want and when that's gone, man, I'm 1851 01:55:50,960 --> 01:55:54,440 having questions. Maybe this is not, I didn't sign 1852 01:55:54,440 --> 01:55:56,680 up for this. I'm signing up for the feeling. 1853 01:55:57,240 --> 01:56:02,320 So in my book, the punchline is love doesn't create a great 1854 01:56:02,320 --> 01:56:03,560 relationship. Mm, hmm. 1855 01:56:04,360 --> 01:56:07,000 Love is a byproduct of a great relationship. 1856 01:56:07,480 --> 01:56:12,520 So if you have the capacity for creating a great relationship, 1857 01:56:12,760 --> 01:56:15,680 the competence, the skills, the competence to create a great 1858 01:56:15,680 --> 01:56:20,720 relationship and two people are compatible with that kind of 1859 01:56:20,720 --> 01:56:23,440 competence, you're going to create a highly committed 1860 01:56:23,440 --> 01:56:27,240 relationship. If you don't possess those, why 1861 01:56:27,240 --> 01:56:30,000 should anyone love you? Because you're going to be 1862 01:56:30,000 --> 01:56:34,080 incompetent and all you can do is offer a feeling and that's 1863 01:56:34,080 --> 01:56:36,400 it. But that feeling doesn't create 1864 01:56:36,400 --> 01:56:38,720 a great relationship. It's, you know, are we 1865 01:56:38,720 --> 01:56:41,720 compatible in the way we resolve conflict? 1866 01:56:41,720 --> 01:56:44,160 Are we compatible in how we manage money? 1867 01:56:44,160 --> 01:56:47,960 Are we compatible in sex? Are we compatible on how we take 1868 01:56:47,960 --> 01:56:49,600 care of our mental and physical health? 1869 01:56:49,840 --> 01:56:52,280 How do we want to raise and discipline our children? 1870 01:56:52,280 --> 01:56:55,760 How do we want to educate? These are areas that will be 1871 01:56:55,760 --> 01:57:00,920 consistent over time. And these are are the reasons 1872 01:57:00,920 --> 01:57:04,680 arranged marriages work so well, because arranged marriages 1873 01:57:04,680 --> 01:57:08,280 require the families to come together and they're looking for 1874 01:57:08,280 --> 01:57:12,920 these things to be compatible. Not that, hey, we both like a 1875 01:57:12,920 --> 01:57:16,360 certain kind of music and we like to party at the same clubs 1876 01:57:16,360 --> 01:57:18,680 and go to the same vacation spots. 1877 01:57:18,920 --> 01:57:23,080 Those are things that you have in common that may dissipate as 1878 01:57:23,080 --> 01:57:25,920 you get older and then you'll say, we have nothing in common 1879 01:57:25,920 --> 01:57:30,760 anymore and the passion is gone. But if you're highly committed, 1880 01:57:31,040 --> 01:57:34,760 you'll talk through those things and even where it comes to 1881 01:57:34,760 --> 01:57:36,760 areas. Well, I see it this way. 1882 01:57:36,760 --> 01:57:40,240 You see, that way a highly committed couple can operate 1883 01:57:40,240 --> 01:57:45,680 like water, and water is made of hydrogen and oxygen that come 1884 01:57:45,680 --> 01:57:48,800 together to make something neither of them could have done 1885 01:57:48,800 --> 01:57:50,000 on their own. Mm hmm. 1886 01:57:51,840 --> 01:57:57,400 Be like water, my friend Percy. Yeah, be like water, my friend. 1887 01:57:59,880 --> 01:58:02,960 So, so it's interesting you both chose commitment. 1888 01:58:02,960 --> 01:58:06,560 So when, when people talk about I want to hire people who are 1889 01:58:06,560 --> 01:58:10,560 passionate, No, I want highly committed people because they're 1890 01:58:10,560 --> 01:58:13,520 going to go through it. And I've hired people who I've 1891 01:58:13,520 --> 01:58:16,120 asked them to do things and they didn't know how to do. 1892 01:58:16,120 --> 01:58:19,040 And they, they were frustrated and they, why are you asking me 1893 01:58:19,040 --> 01:58:20,640 to do this? I don't know how to do that. 1894 01:58:20,640 --> 01:58:24,680 And you're, you're asking me to do something that is beyond me 1895 01:58:24,680 --> 01:58:26,600 and blah, blah. And then they did it. 1896 01:58:27,840 --> 01:58:29,320 They never knew they could do it. 1897 01:58:29,320 --> 01:58:32,800 They had no passion for it, But then they became good at it, 1898 01:58:34,280 --> 01:58:40,280 like really good at it. How do you learn if you can only 1899 01:58:40,280 --> 01:58:42,080 do the things you're passionate about? 1900 01:58:43,720 --> 01:58:46,560 How do you learn something new? How do you get to the paradigm 1901 01:58:46,560 --> 01:58:49,240 of breakthrough and and paradigm shifts? 1902 01:58:49,240 --> 01:58:51,280 Because you're going to be passionate about the things 1903 01:58:51,280 --> 01:58:53,400 you're good at. And then one day you're 1904 01:58:53,400 --> 01:58:55,720 obsolete. You're just a, a buggy whip. 1905 01:58:55,720 --> 01:58:59,320 You're a horse and buggy and no one is riding you anymore unless 1906 01:58:59,320 --> 01:59:00,840 you go to New York and Central Park. 1907 01:59:00,840 --> 01:59:03,640 They have. Absolutely. 1908 01:59:04,400 --> 01:59:06,240 I'm trying to remember a quote right? 1909 01:59:06,600 --> 01:59:12,480 It says when motivation fails, discipline will carry you 1910 01:59:12,480 --> 01:59:15,320 through. When motivation fails, 1911 01:59:15,800 --> 01:59:19,160 discipline, you know, gets the job done. 1912 01:59:20,120 --> 01:59:23,480 And I have something on my wall here that says it's not over 1913 01:59:23,840 --> 01:59:25,760 when you lose, it's over when you beat. 1914 01:59:27,600 --> 01:59:30,320 OK, good. Yeah, very good. 1915 01:59:30,440 --> 01:59:33,520 There's a quote. His last name is Marquis. 1916 01:59:35,200 --> 01:59:39,440 It says when you make people think, they are thinking, they 1917 01:59:39,440 --> 01:59:42,040 will love you. When you make people really 1918 01:59:42,040 --> 01:59:45,860 think they will hate you. Mm. 1919 01:59:45,860 --> 01:59:48,080 Hmm. My work requires people to 1920 01:59:48,080 --> 01:59:51,120 actually think. But the value of actually 1921 01:59:51,120 --> 01:59:55,720 thinking instead of just having thoughts is so profound that 1922 01:59:55,720 --> 02:00:00,040 allows you to see a world that may have been there and you just 1923 02:00:00,040 --> 02:00:02,760 it was right there hidden in plain sight, and you couldn't 1924 02:00:02,760 --> 02:00:04,400 see it. Mm hmm. 1925 02:00:04,400 --> 02:00:08,080 And so your actions were only shaped by what you could see. 1926 02:00:08,480 --> 02:00:13,160 And like the guy Robert Goddard, who said man will fly to the 1927 02:00:13,160 --> 02:00:16,840 moon, he saw a world that that the rest of the world could not 1928 02:00:16,840 --> 02:00:19,000 see. But, and it was possible it 1929 02:00:19,000 --> 02:00:20,400 wasn't a pipe dream. Mm hmm. 1930 02:00:22,440 --> 02:00:28,080 It's having access to that kind Nikola Tesla kind of innovation 1931 02:00:28,680 --> 02:00:32,120 to be able to see possibilities and then take the actions 1932 02:00:32,120 --> 02:00:37,280 without getting derailed because there are problems. 1933 02:00:37,280 --> 02:00:39,920 There'll there'll be gaps. Here's where you are, here's 1934 02:00:39,920 --> 02:00:43,200 where you want to be, and there will be problems in those gaps 1935 02:00:43,200 --> 02:00:45,040 that you have not seen in the past. 1936 02:00:45,800 --> 02:00:49,840 And having that highly committed will support you when working 1937 02:00:49,880 --> 02:00:53,120 through them as opposed to being derailed and saying it's just 1938 02:00:53,120 --> 02:00:58,240 not meant to be. Are there any trends or anything 1939 02:00:59,040 --> 02:01:06,040 that you believe or can't think about in regard to predicting 1940 02:01:06,560 --> 02:01:11,000 future trends for the next generation of CE OS? 1941 02:01:11,000 --> 02:01:17,000 You have an insane, an insane background of working with all 1942 02:01:17,000 --> 02:01:21,120 types of different CE OS, Fortune 500 CE OS, people that 1943 02:01:21,120 --> 02:01:24,600 you've collaborated with, teams that you've built, people that 1944 02:01:24,600 --> 02:01:27,320 you've helped in paradigm shifting. 1945 02:01:27,520 --> 02:01:32,040 When it comes to the generation coming up right now, do you have 1946 02:01:32,040 --> 02:01:39,160 any predictions that will define the entire generation coming up? 1947 02:01:39,160 --> 02:01:44,640 Kind of like someone's going to the room or. 1948 02:01:45,120 --> 02:01:49,360 Yeah. So, you know, it's interesting 1949 02:01:49,360 --> 02:01:53,440 that generation, Generation Z coming up, you're hearing many 1950 02:01:53,440 --> 02:01:57,760 of them turn down management positions because they say 1951 02:01:57,760 --> 02:02:00,760 what's going to be demanded of me is not worth the money. 1952 02:02:00,760 --> 02:02:04,880 So I'd rather, you know, just have a easy 9 to 5. 1953 02:02:04,880 --> 02:02:13,000 That could be a challenge also could be the catalyst that 1954 02:02:13,000 --> 02:02:18,080 starts to train people to be able to better navigate chaos. 1955 02:02:18,080 --> 02:02:22,400 Because if we have people who are not comfortable with that 1956 02:02:22,800 --> 02:02:26,280 and we have too many people who grew up where everyone gets a 1957 02:02:26,280 --> 02:02:31,320 trophy just for participation, that creates an unspoken policy, 1958 02:02:31,320 --> 02:02:35,400 which is you get rewarded even for being mediocre. 1959 02:02:36,720 --> 02:02:42,640 And so it takes away the possibility of of people running 1960 02:02:42,640 --> 02:02:45,640 with broken legs, right? So like you go in the gym, you 1961 02:02:45,640 --> 02:02:48,440 work out and you break down a muscle, but that's how you build 1962 02:02:48,440 --> 02:02:52,960 it to be bigger and stronger. So if people are avoiding those 1963 02:02:52,960 --> 02:02:59,400 that that breakdown, what will eventually happen is there'll be 1964 02:02:59,400 --> 02:03:03,120 a breakdown and people will have to then deal with that. 1965 02:03:03,120 --> 02:03:05,800 They will have to lift themselves out of of the 1966 02:03:05,800 --> 02:03:08,880 breakdown. So participation trophies will 1967 02:03:08,880 --> 02:03:11,760 not suffice anymore. Like people will actually have 1968 02:03:11,760 --> 02:03:14,680 to do the work. So I'm asserting people not 1969 02:03:14,680 --> 02:03:18,960 having the capacity to deal with chaos and wanting everything to 1970 02:03:18,960 --> 02:03:23,720 be easy and comfortable will eventually create an environment 1971 02:03:24,320 --> 02:03:27,920 where they will have to be trained to be more committed or 1972 02:03:27,920 --> 02:03:32,000 highly committed and and have a greater capacity for navigating 1973 02:03:32,000 --> 02:03:37,120 the chaos. Which then I would say then 1974 02:03:37,120 --> 02:03:41,680 creates an organization that instead of focusing on financial 1975 02:03:41,680 --> 02:03:47,160 re engineering where you slash jobs and slash expenses and file 1976 02:03:47,160 --> 02:03:51,040 bankruptcy to, you know, you pay back pennies on a dollar. 1977 02:03:52,560 --> 02:03:53,720 I'm going to say it the wrong way. 1978 02:03:53,720 --> 02:03:57,880 First, we will focus on engineering human capital. 1979 02:03:59,880 --> 02:04:03,200 So instead of financial reengineering, it's human 1980 02:04:03,200 --> 02:04:08,120 reengineering and, and training and developing people in such a 1981 02:04:08,120 --> 02:04:12,480 way that they are more facile and more effective in dealing 1982 02:04:12,480 --> 02:04:16,720 with the chaos that comes. And what I assert will also 1983 02:04:16,720 --> 02:04:20,520 happen out of that is people will become better in their 1984 02:04:20,520 --> 02:04:24,000 marriages and their personal lives and we can mitigate the 1985 02:04:24,000 --> 02:04:26,200 divorce rate. Right now the divorce rate is, 1986 02:04:26,200 --> 02:04:29,600 is strangling us and we're pretending it's not happening. 1987 02:04:30,480 --> 02:04:35,160 If so, if you think about bad divorces and, and the conflict 1988 02:04:35,160 --> 02:04:39,600 it creates, people bring that to the workplace, even though in 1989 02:04:39,600 --> 02:04:42,800 the workplace the difference is they tell you this is business 1990 02:04:42,800 --> 02:04:47,160 etiquette and you, you respond to what triggers you at work 1991 02:04:47,160 --> 02:04:50,120 like this, But at home, anything goes. 1992 02:04:51,200 --> 02:04:54,840 So if we can and there's, there's really no training for 1993 02:04:54,840 --> 02:04:57,680 how to be a good spouse, anything goes. 1994 02:04:57,680 --> 02:05:00,360 People will say, well, you're getting the best of me and 1995 02:05:00,360 --> 02:05:01,720 you're, you're getting all of me. 1996 02:05:01,720 --> 02:05:04,360 And I there, this is, this is the real me. 1997 02:05:04,360 --> 02:05:06,840 It's like, wow, I don't want the real you. 1998 02:05:06,840 --> 02:05:09,280 I want the you that you give to everyone at work. 1999 02:05:09,280 --> 02:05:12,840 I want that one right, That one who's who's a professional, be a 2000 02:05:12,840 --> 02:05:16,360 professional husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend and 2001 02:05:16,360 --> 02:05:17,840 actually talk about that in my book. 2002 02:05:17,920 --> 02:05:23,160 So I'm, I'm saying that we will create an environment that's 2003 02:05:23,200 --> 02:05:28,200 unsustainable, that will force people to create an environment 2004 02:05:28,680 --> 02:05:32,720 that is much more empowering. But it it may come out of the 2005 02:05:32,720 --> 02:05:40,760 darkness of running 15K. Whoa, that's a very, very dark 2006 02:05:40,760 --> 02:05:42,040 place. Trust me. 2007 02:05:42,480 --> 02:05:46,720 Wishing yourself beyond free conceived units. 2008 02:05:46,800 --> 02:05:51,640 I can't express it in words, but you know, sometimes, and this, 2009 02:05:51,640 --> 02:05:55,560 this is just me. Sometimes when I do, not just in 2010 02:05:55,560 --> 02:05:59,320 terms of, you know, pushing the body, but also pushing the mind 2011 02:05:59,320 --> 02:06:03,240 to complete certain things, I have been this kind of person 2012 02:06:03,880 --> 02:06:09,760 who I spit myself in, you know, many challenging situations, 2013 02:06:09,760 --> 02:06:13,920 many challenges, testing myself beyond limits. 2014 02:06:14,400 --> 02:06:17,440 I'm a numbers guy. I love to break my own records. 2015 02:06:17,920 --> 02:06:23,720 And sometimes when I break that record, I look back and be like, 2016 02:06:23,840 --> 02:06:28,080 oh wow, you did that shit. And it gives me a new level of 2017 02:06:28,080 --> 02:06:31,000 self esteem, self respect to myself. 2018 02:06:31,800 --> 02:06:33,680 Like put some respect on my knee. 2019 02:06:33,840 --> 02:06:35,560 The press. You know I. 2020 02:06:35,600 --> 02:06:40,560 Pushed myself to do that. Yeah, right. 2021 02:06:40,680 --> 02:06:43,720 But you have to remember those guys from Kenya and Ethiopia run 2022 02:06:43,720 --> 02:06:47,080 26 miles at an unbelievable pace. 2023 02:06:47,440 --> 02:06:49,520 Yes. And there there's a there's a 2024 02:06:49,520 --> 02:06:53,040 huge mind shift in that, you know, they used to say once you 2025 02:06:53,040 --> 02:06:56,960 pass 20 mile mark, it's it's really rough. 2026 02:06:56,960 --> 02:07:01,440 And So what would have gotten you to be someone else after 20 2027 02:07:01,440 --> 02:07:05,320 miles is is a mindset. You said the their preconceived 2028 02:07:05,320 --> 02:07:08,960 notions are getting to 15 K is is a lot but. 2029 02:07:09,640 --> 02:07:12,160 Yeah. There's a different mindset even 2030 02:07:12,160 --> 02:07:14,200 when I work out, so I've experimented. 2031 02:07:14,560 --> 02:07:21,520 Yeah, I've got 20K by the by the way, but man, oh good, I had to 2032 02:07:21,520 --> 02:07:25,320 skip for a whole day. Man. 2033 02:07:25,600 --> 02:07:29,240 My legs are sore. When I've worked out, there are 2034 02:07:29,240 --> 02:07:32,040 parts where it's like, OK, this is the part where it's going to 2035 02:07:32,040 --> 02:07:34,520 hurt. And then I create a conversation 2036 02:07:34,520 --> 02:07:37,520 saying, wow, if I say that that's what's going to happen 2037 02:07:37,520 --> 02:07:41,800 and I'm going to run out. And just by altering that, not 2038 02:07:41,800 --> 02:07:45,240 having positive speak, it's like, OK, I actually have the 2039 02:07:45,240 --> 02:07:49,240 power to keep going. If I tell myself I don't my my 2040 02:07:49,240 --> 02:07:53,920 body, my biochemicals will support exactly what I'm saying, 2041 02:07:53,920 --> 02:07:57,440 that I'm going to feel pain and it's unbelievable how much 2042 02:07:57,440 --> 02:08:01,120 powers is left in that. And I've just done this with 2043 02:08:01,120 --> 02:08:03,360 experiments with myself quite often. 2044 02:08:07,120 --> 02:08:12,200 Yeah, it's so important what we tell ourselves and what the 2045 02:08:12,200 --> 02:08:14,800 stories that we have. It shapes who we are. 2046 02:08:15,920 --> 02:08:21,160 We're going to do a quick fire round, so just shoot off a few 2047 02:08:21,160 --> 02:08:23,880 questions to you. We're going to go back and forth 2048 02:08:24,200 --> 02:08:29,800 and see how quickly we can get answers from you. 2049 02:08:31,600 --> 02:08:34,280 Before we do that, I just want to say it's been such a pleasure 2050 02:08:34,280 --> 02:08:38,880 having you hearing your wisdom and your expertise and getting 2051 02:08:38,880 --> 02:08:45,240 some of that to our audience. We have people that are all 2052 02:08:45,240 --> 02:08:49,520 different walks of life around the globe and we love to bring 2053 02:08:49,520 --> 02:08:54,040 truth from different countries in and really help define that 2054 02:08:54,240 --> 02:08:57,120 for people around the globe. So this has been such a pleasure 2055 02:08:57,120 --> 02:09:02,640 to have you to get this insight to business leaders, CE OS, CF 2056 02:09:02,760 --> 02:09:07,080 OS entrepreneurs and or just dreamers right now who are maybe 2057 02:09:07,080 --> 02:09:09,880 in a start up phase or too scared to even take that first 2058 02:09:09,880 --> 02:09:11,920 step, but they are working towards that. 2059 02:09:11,920 --> 02:09:15,920 So thank you so much. So I'll have AI start and then 2060 02:09:15,920 --> 02:09:18,840 we'll just kind of go back and forth and then we'll be able to 2061 02:09:18,840 --> 02:09:22,040 close out. OK, Want to say something really 2062 02:09:22,040 --> 02:09:25,880 quickly to what you said. And it's also going back to your 2063 02:09:25,880 --> 02:09:28,920 question about the future. And I would say that what 2064 02:09:28,920 --> 02:09:32,440 businesses need in the from now on going forward is wisdom. 2065 02:09:32,760 --> 02:09:35,480 We technically don't need AI. We don't need AI. 2066 02:09:35,480 --> 02:09:37,680 We need more wisdom. You don't need to be not just 2067 02:09:37,680 --> 02:09:41,800 the top absolutely we need we need more. 2068 02:09:41,800 --> 02:09:46,920 We need leaders who can lead from wisdom as opposed to just 2069 02:09:46,920 --> 02:09:50,160 short termism. And Mackenzie just did a wrote 2070 02:09:50,160 --> 02:09:55,080 an article about the difference between CEO leading short term. 2071 02:09:55,520 --> 02:09:58,880 How do you navigate that and really deal with the long term 2072 02:09:58,880 --> 02:10:02,000 and your investors? So yeah, it's wisdom if there's 2073 02:10:02,000 --> 02:10:05,080 a gap in wisdom. Absolutely. 2074 02:10:06,000 --> 02:10:10,080 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and for the 2075 02:10:10,080 --> 02:10:14,280 Lord gives wisdom, and from His mouth commerce, knowledge and 2076 02:10:14,280 --> 02:10:16,080 understanding. So. 2077 02:10:17,440 --> 02:10:23,040 I'm, I'm a very big person of faith and I know like I don't 2078 02:10:23,040 --> 02:10:27,280 know if other people you know, would allude to this, but I 2079 02:10:27,280 --> 02:10:31,000 believe very much in God-given wisdom and seeking direction 2080 02:10:31,000 --> 02:10:33,680 from God. There are times where in our 2081 02:10:33,680 --> 02:10:37,280 human abilities, human knowledge, human understanding 2082 02:10:37,320 --> 02:10:40,360 fills us. You know, the Bible says lean 2083 02:10:40,360 --> 02:10:44,760 not onto your own understanding and you know, trust in God in 2084 02:10:44,800 --> 02:10:47,840 all your ways and he will lead you the right time. 2085 02:10:48,240 --> 02:10:52,320 And of course, if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God 2086 02:10:52,520 --> 02:10:56,360 who gives generously to all without find and fold and it 2087 02:10:56,360 --> 02:10:58,840 will be given to you. That's James chapter 1 2088 02:10:58,840 --> 02:11:01,400 described. That's not to put that in. 2089 02:11:01,560 --> 02:11:07,800 I appreciate very much on your when I say not wisdom. 2090 02:11:08,000 --> 02:11:09,560 Wisdom is property route to direct. 2091 02:11:11,640 --> 02:11:16,120 Thank you. So let's fire off Rep. 2092 02:11:16,160 --> 02:11:19,360 Yes. Are you ready to rumble? 2093 02:11:22,280 --> 02:11:24,360 There we go. I know. 2094 02:11:24,400 --> 02:11:27,400 OK. What book every CEO should be 2095 02:11:27,400 --> 02:11:31,600 besides your own? Blue ocean strategy. 2096 02:11:32,880 --> 02:11:34,640 Blue ocean strategy. Blue Awesome. 2097 02:11:34,640 --> 02:11:35,800 Yeah. Blue ocean. 2098 02:11:36,120 --> 02:11:37,200 The in the blue ocean. Alright. 2099 02:11:37,560 --> 02:11:38,880 I love that book. Yes. 2100 02:11:39,280 --> 02:11:42,400 What's your greatest leadership lesson learned from failure it? 2101 02:11:44,080 --> 02:11:47,640 Wasn't my failure, it was someone else's failure and 2102 02:11:47,960 --> 02:11:53,640 person who was trained and coached from AVP level to become 2103 02:11:53,640 --> 02:11:57,960 a president, was hired as the president, had the job doing 2104 02:11:57,960 --> 02:12:03,560 well and the failure came from and I this is important for a 2105 02:12:03,560 --> 02:12:08,280 lot of professional managers. One of the things that happens 2106 02:12:08,280 --> 02:12:12,240 when you become president or a higher level manager, the 2107 02:12:12,240 --> 02:12:17,080 employees will attempt to train you and tell you how things are 2108 02:12:17,080 --> 02:12:19,560 around here and how they should be done. 2109 02:12:20,880 --> 02:12:25,480 Once you buy from the employers, employees as opposed to 2110 02:12:25,480 --> 02:12:29,800 understanding your job is there to make something happen that 2111 02:12:29,800 --> 02:12:33,800 wasn't going to happen. The employees are not there to 2112 02:12:33,800 --> 02:12:36,560 do that. They are there, and this sounds 2113 02:12:36,560 --> 02:12:41,080 a little bit dictatorship like, but the employees generally are 2114 02:12:41,080 --> 02:12:42,800 there to keep things the way they are. 2115 02:12:42,800 --> 02:12:46,760 They're not there to have someone come in and disrupt them 2116 02:12:47,040 --> 02:12:48,640 and have them do something different. 2117 02:12:49,120 --> 02:12:52,680 Employees will do their best to tell you this is the way it goes 2118 02:12:52,680 --> 02:12:54,760 around here. Even though you're the new 2119 02:12:54,760 --> 02:12:58,920 manager, the new leader, once you buy into that, you're no 2120 02:12:58,920 --> 02:13:00,920 longer a leader in that organization. 2121 02:13:00,920 --> 02:13:04,400 You're just an employee and you risk losing your job at that 2122 02:13:04,400 --> 02:13:08,560 point. So I've seen someone get the job 2123 02:13:08,560 --> 02:13:15,160 and lose it because they allowed the employees to train them on a 2124 02:13:15,160 --> 02:13:18,880 lot of different things and IT just wasn't in their best 2125 02:13:18,880 --> 02:13:22,880 interest at all. So that was a failure that I 2126 02:13:22,880 --> 02:13:27,280 saw. And an important lesson for any 2127 02:13:27,280 --> 02:13:30,840 person going into a new organization, especially in in 2128 02:13:30,840 --> 02:13:34,600 the C-Suite, that you go there to understand what's happening 2129 02:13:34,600 --> 02:13:38,680 and then make your plan for what's possible in the future as 2130 02:13:38,680 --> 02:13:41,920 opposed to letting the employees tell you the way it's going to 2131 02:13:41,920 --> 02:13:44,880 be. Absolutely. 2132 02:13:44,880 --> 02:13:51,200 OK, they also order which breeds the most creativity. 2133 02:13:53,440 --> 02:13:56,120 Neither, it's your perspective of the playing field. 2134 02:13:56,880 --> 02:13:58,960 No, I love that perspective. Perspective. 2135 02:14:00,880 --> 02:14:04,160 Who is the most disruptive leader alive today? 2136 02:14:05,320 --> 02:14:08,080 Elon Musk. That was the answer of my mind. 2137 02:14:09,160 --> 02:14:11,960 Some people may say Trump, but Musk? 2138 02:14:12,680 --> 02:14:16,320 OK, if leadership had a soundtrack, what song title 2139 02:14:16,320 --> 02:14:20,400 would define yours? Music is not advanced enough to 2140 02:14:20,400 --> 02:14:25,000 be able to make a song for me. Whoa. 2141 02:14:26,640 --> 02:14:29,120 They would have to have a paradigm shift in music to do 2142 02:14:29,120 --> 02:14:30,600 that. No way. 2143 02:14:30,880 --> 02:14:33,760 OK, we we will, we will come up with this song. 2144 02:14:33,760 --> 02:14:36,440 Don't worry if you're musicians, I don't said it right to you. 2145 02:14:36,640 --> 02:14:39,480 You will get that song in your e-mail, a lot of press, you 2146 02:14:39,480 --> 02:14:43,480 know, Thank you very much. We highly, highly appreciate 2147 02:14:43,480 --> 02:14:45,320 you. What a person shares the time 2148 02:14:45,320 --> 02:14:48,160 with you to share their life with you because the aspect unit 2149 02:14:48,160 --> 02:14:53,040 will measure at 5:00 this time. So love and of course, massive 2150 02:14:53,040 --> 02:14:56,760 respect to you for joining us on the show today and of course, 2151 02:14:56,760 --> 02:15:02,920 sharing Nuggets upon Nuggets. We can't wait to have Episode 2 2152 02:15:04,520 --> 02:15:08,600 over to Noel Ruk. Yeah. 2153 02:15:08,600 --> 02:15:14,920 Again, just thank you so much. Your wisdom is invaluable, 2154 02:15:14,920 --> 02:15:22,880 especially in these times of participation trophies and not 2155 02:15:23,520 --> 02:15:27,160 really wanting to do the work or really seeing the value of doing 2156 02:15:27,160 --> 02:15:31,280 the work. You're helping massive, massive 2157 02:15:31,280 --> 02:15:35,280 teams in business make shifts that people spend their whole 2158 02:15:35,280 --> 02:15:39,360 lives dedicating themselves to and trying to figure out how to 2159 02:15:39,360 --> 02:15:43,800 do within their own awareness. And you're kind of speaking on a 2160 02:15:43,800 --> 02:15:48,120 completely different level. I think it's so insightful, so 2161 02:15:48,120 --> 02:15:51,840 valuable and essential for everyone to take in this type of 2162 02:15:51,840 --> 02:15:54,560 knowledge and their own personal lives and again and their 2163 02:15:54,560 --> 02:15:59,320 relationships because we are the extent of our relationships and 2164 02:15:59,320 --> 02:16:02,640 it has a global impact for us as human. 2165 02:16:02,640 --> 02:16:06,680 So thank you so much for your time and your was truly truly 2166 02:16:06,680 --> 02:16:10,040 appreciated. Thank you very much. 2167 02:16:10,040 --> 02:16:13,920 It's been my pleasure to be here with the two of you and thank 2168 02:16:13,920 --> 02:16:17,000 you for asking such great questions that allowed for 2169 02:16:17,000 --> 02:16:19,480 really insightful conversation. So thank you. 2170 02:16:20,840 --> 02:16:24,040 Thank you once more and across to the audience, I'll just go 2171 02:16:24,040 --> 02:16:29,000 for something in your life. Conceive, believe, strive to 2172 02:16:29,000 --> 02:16:31,320 thrive and achieve. Confess you guys.