1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,640 Hey everyone, welcome to Stepmom side Chats. 2 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:11,280 We are your hosts, Alyssa and Rebecca. 2 stepmoms. 3 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,720 Who are done pretending everything's perfect. 4 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,160 This is where we talk boundaries, Co parenting, hard 5 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,400 truths, healing, and the stuff nobody says out loud. 6 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,040 If you're ready for real talk, real growth and a little. 7 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:28,400 Bit of spice, Let's get into it. Hello, Alyssa. 8 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,160 How are you? Hello, Becca. 9 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,960 Yeah, we're a little tired here, guys. 10 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,680 Yeah, Darlene said the other day, and I think she's so right. 11 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:45,480 She said May is like May Sumber because it's so crazy. 12 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,640 The end of the school year. That's everything we have to do. 13 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,080 Yeah, I've never heard that before. 14 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,120 Have you ever heard that before? Of course it's a cute, cheeky 15 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,560 saying. Of course I know it. 16 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,280 I mean not all you're sayings are cute. 17 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:00,720 What was 1 you said the other day? 18 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:05,120 And I was dying laughing. I was going to like screenshot 19 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,320 it but I forgot it what it was. It was something like about 20 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,920 crumbs. Do you know what I'm talking 21 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:13,080 about? Were we talking about by a mom 22 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,560 saying like you give a mouse a crumb? 23 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,360 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was so funny. 24 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,760 I was like, this girl's crazy. ANYWAYS, y'all welcome back to 25 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,280 another episode of Stepmom Side Chats. 26 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:31,280 We're so glad you're here. You guys are here to hear our 27 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:36,240 chaotic, disorganized nature. That is definitely a listen I 28 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,920 yourself. Did you see your chair before 29 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:46,720 recording? OK, but it's OK. 30 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:52,000 I haven't washed my hair. No, we're we're doing everything 31 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,000 we can for you guys. I hope that makes the listeners 32 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,320 know how much we love y'all and we try so hard but. 33 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:01,360 But that you're also not alone, that we're our lives are really 34 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,440 crazy and chaotic too, and we're doing things last minute, just 35 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:09,280 like I'm sure all of you guys are, all you moms who are doing 36 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,640 such a great job with the kids. So we are right there with you 37 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:16,280 in the chaos. And Speaking of chaotic and 38 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:21,360 crazy, like summer, summer, Speaking of May summer, I'm 39 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,040 just. Stressed. 40 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,200 Wrapping up, doing the school things, figuring out our 41 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:29,000 schedules and the calendar and like first of all, my schedule. 42 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:33,920 I know you don't work within the the system, but it is crazy. 43 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:37,320 Like it's not just regular schedule when school ends, it's 44 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,560 like we switch custody and it changes a little bit. 45 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,600 We don't actually get them back the normal day. 46 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,560 We would, even though it's the last day of school And it's 47 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,960 like, Oh my gosh, how are we supposed to? 48 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,360 How are we supposed to remember all this? 49 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,920 You know what, everyone? I told Becca stepmoms cannot 50 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:56,640 have a paper calendar because you can't erase highlighter. 51 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,880 Like I highlight the days that we have the kids, but they don't 52 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,160 schedule changes or custody changes. 53 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,760 So I had to throw away the calendar and I just bought a new 54 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:09,600 one. But I will say like perfect plug 55 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:12,560 here. The hearth calendars. 56 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:17,880 OK, you say hearth, I say hearth earth with AH, it's hearth. 57 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,280 It's hearth. It's like a hearth, Hearth and 58 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,760 home is a target to hearth and. Hearts. 59 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,040 Yes. Hearth. 60 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,800 Hearth, hearth. Or we just say I don't know with 61 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,480 an H on the end. You know, but we need to figure 62 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,640 out what it is. What's up with us and us not 63 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,880 being able to pronounce words? Like I feel like we're both 64 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:38,760 pretty educated people, but I guess we still have some reading 65 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,200 issues. I'm going off of the ads I've 66 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,880 heard at Target. OK, but it. 67 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,640 Oh, well, then you're right. It's a different company, but 68 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,440 it's like the Magnolia one, but they have hearth in hand. 69 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:54,040 But you know what a hearth is. A hearth is like, oops. 70 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,240 A hearth is like a the on the fireplace. 71 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,080 You have a fireplace hearth, right? 72 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,480 Oh no, I think that's a thing. So it's like. 73 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,840 We don't have like fireplaces really in Vegas. 74 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,000 It's so hot. Well. 75 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,520 Duh. I'm in Texas too, I guess 76 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:12,440 because I grew up in Michigan. Like that's the thing fireplaces 77 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:17,079 are anyways, the hardest calendar is the electronic 78 00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:19,079 calendar. We're going to show you guys 79 00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:23,400 because we are very excited. This is the most unique thing 80 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,600 that I think the stepmoms that we don't need anything in life 81 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,120 besides this literally unless we could actually have someone 82 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,680 manage our schedule. But like no, this calendar is 83 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,040 going to be a lifesaver. I cannot wait for everyone to 84 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:38,360 see it finally. I just said mine last night. 85 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,840 I'm so obsessed with it. We already like mine comes 86 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,160 today. I'm excited. 87 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,800 I know we already like color-coded it and like put cute 88 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,640 pictures up and stuff. It's so cool. 89 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:48,720 We can't wait to talk more about it. 90 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,000 But yes, the summer, the summer, the summer. 91 00:04:52,720 --> 00:05:00,080 So summers. Summer sounds fun everyone until 92 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:04,280 you guys realize that the kids are home 24/7, bio kids 93 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:07,320 included. However, it just adds a whole 94 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,560 other layer when you're a stepmom so you go first. 95 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,840 What does y'all summer schedule kind of look like and how does 96 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:18,160 it change when summer starts? You know we have less than 50% 97 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,360 right now. When summer starts, we go back 98 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:25,480 to one week on, one week off, which is great for some things, 99 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:30,160 horrible for some other things. The good thing that works is 100 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,640 like for camps and stuff, like at least then we're registering 101 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,080 them for a camp and it's all week or whatever. 102 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,880 Or if we want to take a summer vacation, we don't just have 103 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,800 five days with them. You know, we actually have a 104 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,240 good amount of time to take a vacation or take a trip and then 105 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,120 like come home and decompress or whatever. 106 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:50,160 But you know, it's kind of we actually have them for the first 107 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,800 two weeks of summer for two weeks straight. 108 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:56,120 Wait, so is it only in the first two weeks that you guys have 109 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,200 them like that? Yes, I don't know who picked 110 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,680 that. That was like a random thing. 111 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,160 I don't know if that's a common thing that happened in the court 112 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,880 system and they suggested it, but it's great. 113 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,160 Like my husband's like, oh, you know, this is like much needed 114 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,920 time. This is like actually important, 115 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,320 you know, bonding time made-up for lost time. 116 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,800 And they've been in school. So. 117 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,520 But I'm like, what the heck am I going to do, Becca? 118 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,720 What do I want to do? I can't pay thousands of dollars 119 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,200 in camps. Let's be honest. 120 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,440 I'm the only thing I'm thinking is like, we have to get Airbnb 121 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,240 somewhere and just live our best life. 122 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:33,960 I have PTO up the wazoo so. Yeah, I use that. 123 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:39,080 I know. So for us, what happens is my 124 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:43,680 stepdaughter who lives out of state, it's I think the Monday 125 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,640 after they get out of school, that's when she comes with us. 126 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,120 And it's supposed to be for five weeks. 127 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:52,800 But typically it's just stays for six or eight weeks and I'm. 128 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,920 Sorry, I was choking on my water. 129 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,880 Yeah. It's fine, I know. 130 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,280 So yeah, it's really fun in the beginning, but by the end of 131 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,960 summer, I'll just be honest, y'all, I want to pull my hair 132 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,160 out. I'm like, I'm like, when does 133 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,880 everyone go back home? It's just so chaotic. 134 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,480 And it's not like when they're in school, because in the summer 135 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:18,560 it's like they wake up. Breakfast time, then two hours 136 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,600 later, lunchtime, then, oh, what are we going to do today? 137 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,120 Then five hours later, oh, dinner time. 138 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,280 Oh, I need a stack in between all those things. 139 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,840 So they think that literally we're the camp counselors and 140 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,120 that we should just be doing everything for them. 141 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,920 It's an announcement for everybody. 142 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,960 Guess what, stepmoms? You're not the cruise director 143 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,520 on the Lido deck. Even though you feel like. 144 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,600 You're not the entertainment. You are not. 145 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,480 Oh, and we made a guide. So we need to talk about that 146 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,320 because obviously all of this is condensed into a guide for y'all 147 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:58,600 because I know if you're taking notes, not that anyone is, but 148 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,520 don't take notes because we made a guide. 149 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:06,200 So we'll put the link here too. But yeah, I think it's obviously 150 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,480 we fall into this, OK, we have to plan all the things and, you 151 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:14,360 know, plan, of course we want them to have an outlet, a 152 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:18,280 creative outlet, you know, or an active outlet like camps and 153 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,520 stuff. But we're going to run ourselves 154 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:25,160 dry taking everyone back and forth to camp, paying for camps. 155 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,280 It's really hard. You can't do that all the. 156 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:34,880 Time so expensive, so expensive. I think I paid like $1000 for 157 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:38,000 both my step kids and it was only for two weeks last summer. 158 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,840 I'm only doing one week this summer, which will be a great 159 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,200 week, but you know, I just can't do it. 160 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,160 Just can't do it. I have a secret tip though, for 161 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:50,440 y'all VBS camps, You know, like vacation Bible school. 162 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,280 Hey, even if you're not religious, these aren't. 163 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:58,200 You are now, yeah. Start praying. 164 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:05,760 This is a godsend, literally because these are normally free. 165 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,960 Free camp. Praise baby Jesus. 166 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,280 Yeah, no, I mean, well, and even if it's you're the one who told 167 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,680 me about that, because I had no idea there was such thing as 168 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,680 like free camps. Back at every church. 169 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,600 So we are members at one church, but guess what? 170 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,960 We're also going across the street to the VBS of the other 171 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,480 church. And then I called my old church 172 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,720 out in a city close to us. They have Avbs to a different 173 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,600 week. We're also doing that one. 174 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:39,520 Oh my gosh, they are going to be just basking in the holy water 175 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,360 this summer, you know? And here's the greatest part, 176 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,040 the kids don't know the difference between like if we're 177 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,440 paying for a camp or if it's free to them, they're so 178 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,040 thankful and appreciative that they had something planned and 179 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,960 something fun to do. And honestly, these VBS camps, I 180 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,080 don't know what they're called in your state or in other states 181 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,080 like vacation, medical school or church camps. 182 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,040 Same thing, yeah. And they're just like, for a 183 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,320 couple hours during the day. Some of them are only a half a 184 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,040 day too. So if you're like, you know, not 185 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,560 religious, maybe ease in that way. 186 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:12,640 But this to me is the best because they're so themed and 187 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,920 they're fun. And the vibe is. 188 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,440 So I don't know, when you drop off kids, you ever see how the 189 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,000 vibe is so amped up and they're like counselors or whatever, or 190 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,600 festive and dressed up for it. And yeah, it's just a fun thing. 191 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:31,320 So anyways, getting into camps, camps is what saves us, but it 192 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:35,000 also can burn us out because we're driving the kids there. 193 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:40,080 We're paying for it. I had the terrible experience of 194 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:45,640 sending kids to camp and step kids to camp and sub kids almost 195 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,960 being kicked out of camp line. There is absolutely no chance 196 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,200 that I can just send them to. I could pay hundreds and 197 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:56,880 hundreds of dollars for them to be like disrespectful or rude at 198 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,640 these camps or get kicked out and then I don't get my money 199 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:04,720 back or that's not happening. You know, they, they're 200 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,240 expecting camps, they're expecting trips. 201 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,560 I get it. That's no fault of their own. 202 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,960 That obviously was not my household that started that 203 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,640 though either, so it's hard to keep up with it. 204 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:24,880 Yeah, we will have, well, my, my stepdaughter and then my 205 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:28,200 stepson, he just stays as long as my stepdaughter stays. 206 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,560 So it's like full time all summer, like all hands on deck. 207 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:37,360 And yeah, I know it's, it's exhausting, but I've gotten a 208 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,880 lot smarter, like how you just said, like I try to break it up, 209 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,600 like do a trip, you know, do some camps. 210 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,480 And then I remember you saying about the Vacation Bible school. 211 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,280 So I think I might check that out this week. 212 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:53,040 It's good to get, you know, them a little, a little prayer and, 213 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:57,160 you know, some Jesus in their life and for me too, you know, 214 00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:01,160 So yeah, I know. It's just it's so much more 215 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,080 noise. There's more scheduling conflict 216 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,320 for me. I know it's been really hard 217 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:11,240 because we have like a custody schedule with the one that comes 218 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:16,200 for the summer, but it's kind of flexible, which has its pros 219 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,400 like that's so great. Y'all get along enough to, you 220 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,800 know, have some flexibility. But for me and my Type A 221 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,520 personality and let's say you know me, I want to know the day 222 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:30,240 you come and the day you leave. I need to know. 223 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,840 And I'm like that about everything in my life. 224 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:37,040 And you know that like I'm crazy, like type A personality. 225 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,920 So for me, the summer is just like a mental fuck, to be 226 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,520 honest, because I'm just like, so like, when are we, when are 227 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,240 you leaving? Not even that I necessarily like 228 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,080 want you to leave. I just need to know like, I 229 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:54,160 don't like not knowing. That is the most stressful part 230 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,280 of being a stepmom for me is like just always being in 231 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,360 constant limbo and no one ever knowing what's going on. 232 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,200 And they're like, Oh, well, you know, we're going to figure it 233 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,600 out soon. And I'm just sitting here 234 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,960 totaling my thumbs. I'm like, well, can we, you 235 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,800 know, pump the gas? Well, I don't think stepmoms 236 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:14,480 need to feel guilty about this. It's very normal and natural for 237 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:20,600 us all to be overwhelmed. And like, the mental load just 238 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,000 gets so heavy so fast because there's constantly planning 239 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,520 meals, period. We could just stop there. 240 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:30,160 That's that in itself. How much are we going to eat out 241 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,280 out? Like that's a budget problem. 242 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,360 How? Which meals are we going to eat? 243 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:38,320 For me, I have kids between ages 1 and 10, so I'm making like 3 244 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,360 different kinds of meals. I know, don't come at me 245 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,080 pediatricians. I know I should just force my 246 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,160 toddlers to eat the stuff the 10 road eats. 247 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,200 But it doesn't happen. Easier said than done. 248 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,840 Figuring out activities, period. That's it. 249 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,560 Figuring out activities. So something that we did put in 250 00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:55,360 the guide though, you know, y'all want to look into is how 251 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,720 we're figuring out activities. What do we do? 252 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,200 There's different tiers and layers of activity. 253 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,840 So there may be we're sending them out for camps, but what are 254 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,640 we doing the days they don't have camps? 255 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:09,240 We can't just pay for camps and we can't always arrange 256 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,920 transportation. So what are we doing at home? 257 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,680 What are we doing for the board days? 258 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,440 Where's the board bucket? You know, there's certain things 259 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,800 that we had to think up to get creative. 260 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:24,400 Someone just have to get creative and usually, you know, 261 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,760 the childless set moms too, they're going from no kids to 262 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,960 full time kids in the summer or like for us, it's going from 263 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,920 like one or two kids to like four or five like people with 264 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,200 kids then they have so many kids. 265 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:45,720 So it's also, you know, managing boredom among a wide age range, 266 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,280 which can be really overwhelming, and then 267 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,680 coordinating custody schedules it. 268 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,000 Well, and it's just like handling the different parenting 269 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,800 styles amongst the households too, especially kids that are 270 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,040 typically with their moms. And I know this is a lot of 271 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,320 stepmoms stories. You know, the dads get the kids 272 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,440 for the summers and so the kids come, but they come from this 273 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,000 other household and there's a whole different culture and set 274 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:17,040 of rules, norms, expectations that these kids come from. 275 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,960 And then they step into your home and it's your home. 276 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:24,000 And so you have a whole different set of norms, rules, 277 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:29,040 expectations, and you have to like adjust because something 278 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,560 that you might expect out of getting a child in your home is 279 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,840 not what bio mom expected out of her child at her home. 280 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,800 And so there's a lot of like tension, I feel like in the 281 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,040 beginning and a lot of like growing pains the first week or 282 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:46,200 two in the summertime is what I've come to find because here 283 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,560 I'm like really crazy about bedtime. 284 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:53,240 You know this I my toddler needs to be asleep and I swear if 285 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:57,240 anyone wakes him up, Becca is going to be the devil. 286 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,680 And at their house they don't have to think about that because 287 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,920 they don't have younger siblings and so they just get a party all 288 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,280 night long in the summer. Nope, not at my house. 289 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,800 So. No, it's the same at my house 290 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,160 too. And childless step moms. 291 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:14,200 I know I feel like we neglect y'all too much but so here's 292 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,120 something that y'all can take away. 293 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,080 This is a blessing for y'all where it's a curse for us. 294 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,560 At least you're, you know, think about this, you could be dealing 295 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,320 with kids that come over and, yeah, they want to stay up late. 296 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,040 They want to do the late fireworks shows. 297 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,920 You can't make all that happen when you do have a kid at home. 298 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,040 So, you know, you can really lean into that if you have step 299 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,800 kids and you don't have littles yet at the home or you don't 300 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,920 want littles in the home. Yeah, do the night activities 301 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,040 that maybe they sleep in or maybe they nap the next day or 302 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,040 something just because they're tired and, you know, live a 303 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,640 little at night. I want to talk about the 304 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:55,920 pressure to make summer magical. We are not the cruise director 305 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:59,240 on the lead of deck. We're not the free camp 306 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,320 counselor or entertainer at camp. 307 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:07,079 Yeah, I feel like you and I, and you can correct me if I'm wrong. 308 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,880 I feel like you and I are very similar in this aspect, though 309 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:14,040 during the summer, we do want to make the summer magical. 310 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:18,599 We are always doing the most, like we are trying to, you know, 311 00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:21,560 plan all the outings and things. But I think that's just because 312 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:26,520 we're trying so hard to be good stepmoms and try to make sure 313 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,040 that they're not missing out on things that maybe the other 314 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,160 household is doing or their friends are doing. 315 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:37,280 But I think social media has created these unrealistic 316 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,200 expectations, not only of stepmoms, but of just regular 317 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,760 parents too, of what summer is supposed to look like. 318 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,240 And oh, there needs to be an outing every single day. 319 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,840 There needs to be an expensive activity. 320 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,000 Like there needs to be all these things. 321 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:56,400 And honestly, financially speaking, it's just not feasible 322 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,680 to be doing an activity every single day. 323 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:03,680 I think that's the main point too, is just we don't need 324 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:07,800 something every single day. And maybe you do have to have 325 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,280 something every day. Like for me, if I only have them 326 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,520 for a week and then we don't have them for a week, I can make 327 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,680 something happen today. But it's looking into like, is 328 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,200 it going to be a craft at home that we're doing all together? 329 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,880 So or you know, are we doing something big? 330 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,920 We're all going to a camp this week or something. 331 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,760 But it's scaling back where you need to for your sanity. 332 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,200 We don't want to build resentment. 333 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,520 That's the big picture for summer. 334 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,480 No resentment. Let's leave this summer feeling 335 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,640 happy. Maybe a little over overworked 336 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,080 and a little tired, but not resentful. 337 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,560 Yeah, yeah. No, not resentful. 338 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,280 And I think something that has helped me is planning ahead. 339 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,320 I'm a really big planner and this personality trait of mine 340 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:54,680 actually is a positive thing in the summer because I plan ahead. 341 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,160 I already have them signed up for one week of camp this year. 342 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,080 The week right after they're going to do a sports camp. 343 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,000 I just need to finish signing them up for that. 344 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,760 Then we're going to go on a trip for a week that's already 3 345 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,320 weeks. So I'm like. 346 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,000 Wait, this is also where that digital calendar comes in. 347 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,640 I love it and it's so big so you can like it's hands on. 348 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,840 I don't like doing the digital calendar on our phone because 349 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,720 you put so many things on there and they kind of go away. 350 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,600 But so yeah, subtle plug again. I'm just obsessed. 351 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,320 I cannot wait. Yeah, I know. 352 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,680 My son is so excited about it. He came home and he was like, 353 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,560 Becca, where's my soccer on the calendar? 354 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,040 Like, can you make it blue? And I was like, yeah, sure. 355 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,480 That's another thing telling and if you don't have the calendar 356 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,640 or you can't get it for whatever reason, that's fine. 357 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,560 And we can get like a discount code for all of y'all if that 358 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:46,240 helps. But writing it on the fridge or 359 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,800 whatever. If y'all make little a summer 360 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,560 thing, a calendar written out somewhere, put it physically, 361 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:56,880 like visibly for the kids so that they know what they're 362 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,760 looking forward to, then it's a win for you because you're cute 363 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,640 and creative and you know it's exciting. 364 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,840 But also you don't have to hear what are we doing today? 365 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:10,280 What are we doing next week? What are we doing later today? 366 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,920 Oh yeah, I think the big one. Do your kids do that or your sub 367 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,880 kids or any kids? My kids literally like, I'll 368 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,280 take them to the trampoline park in the beginning of the day and 369 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,120 we'll get home and they'll look at me and my husband be like, So 370 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,920 what are we doing next? We literally look at them. 371 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,200 And literally. Are you serious right now? 372 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:35,120 Like we're not doing anything. We just spent $200 on a stupid 373 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:38,040 trampoline park, but it's. Not their fault. 374 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,800 It's so not their fault. Like if the other house wants to 375 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,080 fully entertain them and always put something in front of them 376 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,840 always like in between the trampoline park and the skate 377 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,880 park, you know, give them an iPad, then they're wired to not 378 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:58,000 know how to entertain themselves and how to function or play by 379 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,640 themselves. So we what all we can do is we 380 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,600 can't try and retrain them. You know, I think the board 381 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,560 bucket is a great thing where that's one way to kind of and 382 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,680 train the brain. You go into the board bucket, if 383 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,560 you're like, before you ask what can I do or what are we doing 384 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,840 next? You have to go into the board 385 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:21,120 bucket and find something to do. Yeah, I like that. 386 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:24,200 And that was a little segue. I wanted to ask you, what do you 387 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,600 do about electronics during the summer? 388 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,840 Because I feel like this is a hot topic in parenting in 389 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,600 general. Do you let your kids have the 390 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,720 iPads? Do they bring iPads back and 391 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,960 forth from their mom's house? How does that work? 392 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:42,160 We have their laptop here, they do take back and forth but it's 393 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,600 like a school 1 and they had to keep it all summer. 394 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,040 And it has. Games on it, and they're 395 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,360 technically they're like school games. 396 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:52,120 So for the little one, it's like adding, it's like math and 397 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:54,520 reading kind of. But he thinks they're really fun 398 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,440 games and he's all into it, so I'm OK with that. 399 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,480 Yeah. Yeah. 400 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:04,040 Honestly, stepmoms if you need it, give them the iPad, put them 401 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,040 in front of the TV. Your sanity first before the 402 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,480 kids you know. Entertainment 100%. 403 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,120 Yeah, No, I think that's something that we should 404 00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:16,960 definitely, you know, relieve ourselves of the guilt of screen 405 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,720 time, especially in the summer. It's so hard. 406 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:23,320 And most moms are working still. I know you're working through 407 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,880 the summer still, right. Like you have, you know. 408 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:26,280 Oh. Yeah. 409 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,160 Oh yeah, People are still dying. Hospice doesn't end. 410 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,120 Oh, my God. Oh, you knew I'd like that. 411 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,160 So yeah, it was so funny. And sorry, side note. 412 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,400 So I texted her one day. When was it? 413 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,000 It was like, I don't know. It was like a big holiday, guys. 414 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,440 I think it was Christmas Eve. And I was like, oh, sorry, 415 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,640 working right now. And she was like, yeah, Becca, 416 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,680 people are still dying. Like I have to go tosses care. 417 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,920 I was like, OK, Merry Christmas. You have to have humor in it. 418 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,480 It's just an inside industry joke. 419 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,040 It's not as heartless as it sounds. 420 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,840 But now I used to be, I think it's funny. 421 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,040 Remember, I was a wedding planner after college. 422 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,600 That was the best. I honestly will go back and do 423 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,760 that after my kids are bigger because it's nights and 424 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,800 weekends. But everyone would be like, are 425 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,600 you coming for, you know, 4th of July? 426 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,200 And almost like people will get married on 4th of July. 427 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,320 People are still getting married. 428 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,760 And definitely New Year's Eve. Yeah, all those things. 429 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,520 So I just kept the same joke running. 430 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,400 But you know, so anyways, back to our summer. 431 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:30,720 So answer this. So emergency reset ideas. 432 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:36,840 What do you do when the kids are overtired, overstressed, bored? 433 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,160 You don't have something planned for that day? 434 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:43,480 What's your emergency? Is it like get out, get like ice 435 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,120 cream? Or is it like, do you have like 436 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:49,040 a pool send them out to the pool or you know, what is the 437 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:54,160 emergency we have to have a go to because in case of emergency 438 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:58,000 you can't just sit and think, OK, now what should I do? 439 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,280 Like it's emergency, it's urgent. 440 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,560 What are you going to do? Where you guys send them? 441 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,200 Their mom's house. No, just kidding. 442 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:15,120 No, usually, I mean, I'll just take them to like McDonald's and 443 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,920 we'll get an ice cream. This is actually an idea another 444 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,720 mom gave me is go do your errands that you normally have 445 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,720 to do, right. So whatever errands you have to 446 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,840 get done that day, take them with you though, which can be 447 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:32,960 frustrating because they're, you know, there and probably 448 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,600 bothering you, whining, complaining, etcetera. 449 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,040 But the take them on your errands. 450 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:41,560 But in the beginning of it, tell them, hey, if you guys are good 451 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:45,200 and you guys, you know, listen and don't complain too much at 452 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,320 the end, we'll go to 5 below and then we'll go get a dollar ice 453 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,080 cream. And so I've done that a few 454 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,080 times and it's fun because I'm getting them out of the house. 455 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,760 I'm getting my errands done and I'm also giving them an 456 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,920 incentive to be good while we're out in public. 457 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,280 And then we go to 5 below. They can pick one thing. 458 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,560 So it's cheap and it's like, you know, a little craft or thing 459 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,760 that they can do later that day, and then we go get ice cream for 460 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,160 a dollar at McDonald's. And so that's worked really 461 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,080 well. Key, you can take them and get 462 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,640 something, but it has to be some kind of craft or something that 463 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:20,040 they can do. Free tip for everyone out there. 464 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,680 I know Target has those big coloring houses. 465 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:27,080 Those were a huge win with my one year old, my 3 year old, my 466 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,600 7 year old, and my 10 year old because 10 year old is not 467 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,840 Target built it. Yes, the 10 year old builds it. 468 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,960 The middle, the middle 2, they color it. 469 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,200 The little 1, he crawls in and out of it and then when it's all 470 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,200 built, it's all colored. You still keep it and you play 471 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:44,560 with it. They have one that's like an ice 472 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,080 cream truck. They have one that's like a 473 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,120 little fork house and you can get two of them. 474 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:52,040 They're like $10 or something. Maybe 30 at the most for like 475 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,600 the big ones. Really. 476 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,400 And this is at Target. Yeah, I got one that was like a 477 00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,000 Target store, and we are not affiliates for Target, so this 478 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,000 is not a plug. But now this saves one of our 479 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,760 weeks in the past, I think it was like Thanksgiving break or 480 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,160 something, and we had a few of them. 481 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,200 So then once they were all built and colored, they got to play in 482 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,880 them together like a little village. 483 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,200 It was so cute. But I will say. 484 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,520 I'm going to use that. My emergency is utilizing 485 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,600 grandparents. We have grandparents that are 486 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,640 about an hour away. I can call them up. 487 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,840 They're retired. They don't work and I say hey 488 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,640 like. I'm on my way. 489 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,920 Halfway, Yep, I'm packing up the kids and this is an urgent quick 490 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,000 thing because I can pack them up and get driving. 491 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,160 We'll meet at like a local, some place where I can give them a 492 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,680 treat while we're waiting for grandparents. 493 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,760 And then it's awesome and then go to grandparents for the 494 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:49,000 night. Then that's a real reset because 495 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,880 they come back and they're not sick of me and their dad 496 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,760 already, not sick of the littles, the babies running 497 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,640 around. But that is another great free 498 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,000 camp. Everyone utilize the 499 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,360 grandparents. Please. 500 00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:06,880 If you have them, use them. Definitely another one that, and 501 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,280 I don't know if I told you about this last summer and I'm going 502 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,680 to use it this summer, is movie days. 503 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:17,720 During the summer, Regal Cinemas has dollar movie days and 504 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,360 they're like older movies. Not like too old though. 505 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:25,280 AMC has $3 movie days so and Cinemark has something so just 506 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,000 look into it or go to your theater real quick and ask like 507 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,240 what are your discounted movie days? 508 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,520 Yeah. And then they have like a $5 509 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,760 snack box. So they get like a drink, a 510 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,320 little snack, a little fruit snack and popcorn. 511 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:41,200 And you get out of the house. And in Las Vegas, it's so hot. 512 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,480 So like, we just want to do things mostly indoors or out of 513 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,080 pool. So that's one thing that I'm 514 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:50,080 going to try to utilize a couple times this summer because, you 515 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,560 know, you run out of ideas. I know. 516 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,280 And Boston, obviously it's very hot too. 517 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,960 But part of our thing is we always have those inflatable 518 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,440 water things in the backyard, like the sprinkler system. 519 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,560 We put it under the trampoline for fun. 520 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,560 For something different, we have the inflatable water slides, 521 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,400 which have been used for years. They never pop. 522 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:14,920 It's a one time high. It's amazing. 523 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,880 And then we have a little splash pad. 524 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,720 So we make our whole backyard like this little Watertown. 525 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:23,160 You know, the littles are in the splash pad, the big boys are on 526 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,000 the slides usually or the trampoline. 527 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,760 And then honestly, we asked the neighbors to come over or we'll 528 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,240 send the kids. We have tons of neighbor kids in 529 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,440 our street, so they'll go pick up some friends and I'm like 530 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:34,920 sure, everyone can hang out out back. 531 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,160 I can see them all. I'll bring out popsicles. 532 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,840 Don't come inside. Yeah, yeah. 533 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,400 And it's awesome. They'll be out there all day. 534 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,960 So that's another thing. These are not very big expenses, 535 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,320 but if you buy multiple things, they stay outside all day. 536 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,480 Water table for little ones too. Yeah. 537 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,520 But I don't know what you do if it's is it cold anywhere in the 538 00:28:58,520 --> 00:28:59,240 summer? I don't know. 539 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:00,680 Canada. Are y'all cold up there? 540 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:03,240 I don't know. I hope not. 541 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:07,520 No, it's so hot in Las Vegas. And then, you know, even though 542 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,120 it's expensive, I think going to the water park, your like local 543 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:15,360 water park at least one day is good because they get exhausted. 544 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,880 They're so tired. It's the best. 545 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,920 Stepmoms, how are you coping with transition day? 546 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,640 I'll tell you how I am. I'm lighting my big ass candles 547 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,920 to calm my big ass anxieties and honestly it changes the whole 548 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,280 mood of the house. Same chaos, just calmer vibes 549 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,480 and way better energy. We're obsessed with big ass 550 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:41,720 candles from big ass luxuries. Yep, the ones from Shark Tank. 551 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,480 If you want to try one, use code stepmom at checkout for a 552 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:49,280 discount. That's code stepmom at checkout. 553 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,800 Big ass candles because stepmom life comes with big ass 554 00:29:52,800 --> 00:30:02,760 feelings. Let's talk about get out real 555 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:06,160 quick the get out pass OK, get out changing. 556 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,120 This is our whole thing let's get out of the house get out 557 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:14,240 everyone let's go let's go get out everyone get out so you 558 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,880 talked about a water park. Water parks can be kind of 559 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,080 pricey. Get out pass. 560 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,280 They do have local water parks on some of these. 561 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,640 This is a pass that has free visits. 562 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,520 It's a yearly pass. You pay one per person. 563 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,960 So I bought one for each of my kids and then one for myself and 564 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,000 my husband. But we have a water park in town 565 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,280 here that is on it. So we will all get to go for 566 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,560 free one time. There's an indoor water park 567 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,600 here that's on it. And I really, yes, we don't have 568 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,560 an indoor. Water park on it. 569 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:51,320 I love those so much. That one's my favorite splash 570 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:52,480 shack. It's really cool. 571 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:57,040 But then where I'm taking the kids to go do something for 572 00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:01,000 Father's Day for my husband is paint pottery. 573 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,040 That's an amazing thing to do when it's hot. 574 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,120 That one on the get out pass. It's monthly. 575 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:09,480 So we get to go once a month. We're going to make grandpa 576 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,680 coffee mug. We're going to make dad a coffee 577 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,480 mug. I mean, it's really fun and 578 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,080 that's something that you know you don't have to pay for. 579 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,240 It's amazing. But there's also like laser tag 580 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,160 bowling. There's just so much to do. 581 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,160 There could be like the zoo in your town. 582 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:28,400 So this is not a huge expense. It actually saves you a lot of 583 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,280 money in the return and then it does all your scheduling for 584 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,800 you. So this is what I'm using for my 585 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,800 emergency basis. Like what am I going to do with 586 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,400 the kids today? Or you know, I forgot I didn't 587 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,000 have anything scheduled for this afternoon. 588 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,880 You can get on the app and then you're like, OK, what do? 589 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,160 What do we have free passes to you? 590 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:47,520 Just don't do those. Then it's free. 591 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,560 It's stress free. It kind of made the planning for 592 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,640 you so. Yeah, no, that's what I do too. 593 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:56,240 Yeah, I love it. I've been using it for literally 594 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,320 the last six years I've been using it. 595 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,760 And you told me about it a few years ago. 596 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,800 And then I got it when we were in San Antonio because there was 597 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,920 a pass down there too. Like that's like South of Austin 598 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,600 and it's not far to go to. And so you can get a pass. 599 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,240 Like we go to Dallas all the time to visit my family and 600 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,120 there's a pass there for other events. 601 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,160 Yeah. And why I like it is because 602 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:23,720 usually, like the water parks are about like $50.00, right, 603 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,560 For just one day, one time. That's about how much the pass 604 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,600 is anyways. So it's like you pay for it 605 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,960 itself and then you get all the other things with it. 606 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,120 So yeah, no, I do think it's a really good investment. 607 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:37,880 And like Alyssa said, it's just easy. 608 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,600 If you're like, crap, I don't know what to do with these kids 609 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,600 these day, this day. And like you just wake up and 610 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,240 say, OK, let me choose one of these things. 611 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,640 We were able to get a discount for y'all, a small discount if 612 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,480 you use the code stepmom at checkout. 613 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,880 But that being said, we actually do use this ourselves. 614 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,240 It's something we actually used even before we got to meet with 615 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,040 the company. They had a previous name and 616 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:04,680 everything and so this was just something we begged them like. 617 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:09,320 Yeah, no, I've told, I told people about it before, even 618 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,360 this. So yeah, something you guys 619 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:15,160 should look into. But yeah, summer guys is hard. 620 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:20,320 I mean, sometimes summer makes stepmoms count the down the days 621 00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,600 until school starts. And there's nothing wrong if 622 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:26,960 you're that type of stepmom, it doesn't mean you hate the kids. 623 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:32,200 It just means that this nonstop giving over and over again, it's 624 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:37,000 so exhausting, not only for regular moms, but for stepmoms 625 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,040 too, because we're giving to kids that aren't ours. 626 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,680 And we talked about all that about that all the time. 627 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,600 And that's a different mental load than caring for your 628 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,000 biological kids. So it just really hits a lot 629 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,760 different for stepmoms in the summertime. 630 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,160 I do think the stepmoms need to have their own summer routine. 631 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,840 Some of these things like if y'all are members. 632 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,120 I've talked with you guys about this one-on-one about having 633 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,640 something for yourself so that you don't lose yourself in the 634 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,040 process. The most important part is not 635 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:09,159 building resentment over the summer and remind yourself to 636 00:34:09,159 --> 00:34:12,719 have grace for yourself like you are able and you're allowed to 637 00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:16,480 go have a girls night, have a scheduled girls night or go see 638 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,080 a movie on your own. Like go have some quiet time 639 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:23,120 alone, go somewhere. One of the members, she said 640 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,480 when I asked her, what is your thing that you like to do that 641 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,679 you feel like since you become a stepmom has been taken from you. 642 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:34,199 And she said it was having her alone time to a go to the gym. 643 00:34:34,679 --> 00:34:37,239 That was her morning thing. And then in the evenings to read 644 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,600 her book. So I've been on her about this 645 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,520 and she's reading her book now and reading again and taking 646 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,520 some time to herself. And I think that that's most 647 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,280 healing. And that's the best way that 648 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,520 we're not going to burn out as caregivers. 649 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:51,040 I've talked about this before, but in Hospice, we learned about 650 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:54,920 caregiving, never burnout. And usually when a patient 651 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,640 passes away, the next sick person in the family is the 652 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,440 loved one. And you know how they say, like, 653 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,760 people die of a broken heart? No, they actually were burdened 654 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,480 by caring for someone so intensely. 655 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,800 And I don't want to see, you know, stepmoms burnout because 656 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,720 we're thinking so hard about how we're going to entertain the 657 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:16,280 kids this summer. How are we going to survive the 658 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:17,720 summer? How are we going to keep the 659 00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:20,040 house clean the summer? How are we going to feed the 660 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,320 kids this summer? What what are you doing for 661 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,440 yourself? Add that into the list. 662 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:29,320 You know, if it's buying that calendar to give yourself sanity 663 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,600 for scheduling, do it. If it's quiet hour in the 664 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,920 evening, you know, putting your phone away and not scrolling but 665 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:40,360 reading or diving into some show that distracts you, do it. 666 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,240 If it's girls night, you know, schedule it. 667 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,040 Also solo errands. I know you're talking about like 668 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,920 going out and running errands and throwing the kids kids in 669 00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,440 the car with you, but sometimes getting out for errands, That's 670 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:59,560 like a tiny win for stepmoms. Oh yeah, When I can go to Target 671 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,560 by myself, it's like a treat. And it's like so fun. 672 00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:04,720 I don't know. It's like a vacation. 673 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:10,680 Literally like a vacation. My note for stepmoms here is 674 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,720 that you don't have to participate every single summer 675 00:36:13,720 --> 00:36:17,240 memory to be a good stepmom. You don't have to plan every 676 00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:19,680 single thing, and you don't have to participate in every single 677 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:21,680 thing. You can still be a good stepmom. 678 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,320 Yeah, you're still a good stepmom no matter you know what 679 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:31,360 you are or what you're not doing, you know, be confident in 680 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,160 in who you are as a stepmom and the activities that you do plan. 681 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,240 Try not to over function too much. 682 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:42,680 It's good for kids to be bored. I think in today's society, we 683 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:46,080 don't let ourselves as adults be born very often, but we 684 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,680 definitely don't let kids be bored. 685 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:53,200 And it's good for their brain development to be able to, you 686 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,080 know, have some creative thinking time during the day of, 687 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,000 oh, what can I do? Build a Fort. 688 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,240 Like that's what me and Alyssa you started back in the day. 689 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:03,800 Like you don't need to be on the iPad or have a constant activity 690 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,280 that's not real life. And so I think it's important 691 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:11,440 that even though it can be annoying, that they learn how to 692 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:15,400 have different creative outlets for themselves to to do when 693 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,880 they're bored. I want to talk lastly about 694 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:22,360 couple time. You know, the differences 695 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:27,720 between expectations and discipline with partners, loss 696 00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:30,080 of privacy in the summer, all of this stuff. 697 00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,800 How much summer affects your relationship? 698 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,120 Your spouse, your partner, your husband, whoever it is. 699 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:41,440 Kids constantly impact our intimacy, our connection, our 700 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,480 routines, our conversations. That's heavy. 701 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,720 What are we doing to compensate for that? 702 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,960 You know? It's also especially hard for 703 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,400 the childless stepmoms who suddenly feel like an outsider 704 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,200 in their own home. This is more apparent all day 705 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,880 because the kids are home or they're having to schedule more 706 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,960 for the kids. I feel like your house kind of 707 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,920 stops being yours for like 3 months you know? 708 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:12,040 That's when yes, yeah, I always when when I do finally get the 709 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,480 schedule and I know that the day they're going to leave, people 710 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,040 are going to come for me this, but I don't care. 711 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,960 I plan my I plan my cleaning lady. 712 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,240 I'm like, oh, you leave Thursday the 10th. 713 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,200 I'm not. I'm like Friday the 11th. 714 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,560 I don't think anything. Wrong with that. 715 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:33,720 Treat yourself my clean I do and I get the deep clean and it just 716 00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:36,480 makes me feel so much better and less resentful. 717 00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,960 I know it costs money and and I know, but there's always things 718 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,840 we spend our money on right, like maybe don't get Starbucks a 719 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,440 lot that month. I don't know because that stress 720 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:51,640 of having to clean up after kids, your husband, pets, all 721 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,720 those things, it can make you feel really resentful of what 722 00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:58,560 summers look like for a stepmom. So I feel like when you can look 723 00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:01,720 forward to, oh, they're leaving, OK, see you next summer. 724 00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:05,880 Oh now my house is clean because I don't have to spend 3 days 725 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,000 cleaning. That's a great idea and that's a 726 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,600 great reward for stepmoms, for everything, for the end of the 727 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,120 summer, for everything they put up with and they scheduled and 728 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,120 they did. I wish we had like when you find 729 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:20,280 a cleaning company that we can get a discount for step moms for 730 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,720 that. I do think going into the summer 731 00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:26,160 and I'm big on having conversations with our partner 732 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:30,000 before something happens that you can set expectations, but 733 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,560 there's conversations that need to be had before the summer, 734 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,840 like expectations with discipline. 735 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,320 Discipline changes with step kids as they, you know, go 736 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,120 through different grades or, you know, summer versus the school 737 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:45,000 year and you're going to run into discipline being needed to 738 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:48,240 be had more frequently in the summer because they're home, 739 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,160 they're not at school. And then just going to bed, you 740 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:54,200 know, after homework and dinner. So figuring out who's doing the 741 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:57,080 discipline now let's reset. Maybe we didn't do a lot of 742 00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:58,320 disciplining during the school year. 743 00:39:58,400 --> 00:39:59,520 What are we going to do this summer? 744 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,760 What does discipline look like in our home this summer? 745 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:06,040 And then alone time. Hey, just a reminder, you know, 746 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:09,000 I like to have those retreats. I like to step away and have 747 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,600 alone time. I'd like to have alone time with 748 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,800 you also. So maybe. 749 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,840 Let's keep go back to the date nights when the kids leave or 750 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,760 when they come back and bring a babysitter into the house for 751 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:25,480 that, having the conversation about responsibilities. 752 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:29,760 Summer changes things again like cleaning in the house, the 753 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,040 dinners. If we are entertaining these 754 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,040 kids all the time, we're probably not going to be doing 755 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:38,080 making all the dinners. So maybe things shift just for 756 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:42,760 the summer and you change like make the make the. 757 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,040 Dinners easy. I am queen of easy, Y'all, I'm 758 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,680 going to tell you guys this, and you guys probably might already 759 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:49,960 do it. I don't know, Alyssa can tell 760 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:53,360 me. I buy a rotisserie chicken on a 761 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:57,440 Sunday, and what I do that day is we have a chicken dinner and 762 00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:01,400 I get green beans and chicken. Oh, that's a chicken dinner. 763 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,520 And the next day, oh, guess what we're having? 764 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:07,520 We're having BBQ chicken sandwiches now all I'm doing is 765 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,320 shredding the rotisserie chicken onto a little Hawaiian rolls, 766 00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,680 putting some BBQ sauce. Here you go dinner. 767 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,080 Then the third day I still have chicken leftover and it's my 768 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:18,280 last day to use it. Now I'm doing chicken Alfredo. 769 00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,640 See three meals, guys, that's. So cute. 770 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:23,760 That's amazing. I love that I just. 771 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,680 Try to you just try to make it as easy as you can on yourself 772 00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:31,480 because I I hate cooking guys and that's like one of the 773 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:35,000 things I dread the most in summer is everyone asking me 774 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:38,200 what meal is next. I'm like leave me alone. 775 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,880 I know, I know, you need to tell me some of yours, but yeah. 776 00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,320 Well, one other thing too, I don't know if anyone has kids 777 00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,800 that love to cook. I know these older step kids and 778 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:52,000 teenagers sometimes like my ten. Well, I guess he's almost 11 779 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,600 year old stepson. He loves to cook, loves to bake. 780 00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:59,160 I put him on it and he loves it. It keeps him busy. 781 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:01,520 He likes that sense of responsibility. 782 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:05,320 And then I get out of the kitchen, I get to go be with the 783 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,840 littler kids or be with my other stepson. 784 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:11,800 So that's a major win. But if it's not cooking, split 785 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,520 up the responsibility household it. 786 00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:16,040 Maybe they need to clean the bathrooms. 787 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,720 That is our job in this house is the toilets because they're 788 00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:21,000 boys. I'm a girl, my daughter's girl. 789 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,240 We don't do the same things in the bathroom. 790 00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:25,280 It looks. Yeah, very different. 791 00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,160 When the boys come out of bathroom, then when? 792 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:28,720 Girls. So gross. 793 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:32,080 So they're totally fine with it. They think it's so funny because 794 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,960 they love poop talk and stuff and so they clean the toilets. 795 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,680 Wow. OK, Well, I'm glad they like it. 796 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,480 Yeah. They're totally fine with it. 797 00:42:39,720 --> 00:42:42,960 And so if that, you know, gives them something to do for 20 798 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,440 minutes, we are talking survival by minutes. 799 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:48,040 You guys not what are we going to do for six hours? 800 00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:50,600 We need a 20 minute thing. Here's a scrubby brush. 801 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:54,920 Go find something to clean. Yeah, whoever cleans it the 802 00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,960 fastest gets a prize. You know all those little things 803 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:03,840 I want to go into text I didn't send because we had some good 804 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:09,680 ones this week. OK, so this stepmom writes a 805 00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:14,600 bill says if they could text the bio mom, this is the text they 806 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,520 didn't send. They said I don't want your 807 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,120 role. I just want the constant tension 808 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:24,440 to stop. And send send that text. 809 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,760 Yeah, I know, right. That's so. 810 00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:30,960 I mean, I think that's just like a mature way of saying it. 811 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:34,360 Like, I don't want your role. I just want the constant tension 812 00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,800 to stop. I, I would be interested to see 813 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:40,480 what like more of the details and dynamics are behind this. 814 00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:43,680 But I think a lot of stunt moms can relate to this is we're not 815 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,280 trying to take your role as bio mom. 816 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:48,480 Like, please actually do all the things. 817 00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:52,520 We just don't want it to feel contentious every time we're 818 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,400 around each other because it's not good for you. 819 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,200 It's not good for us, and it's not good for the kids. 820 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,600 So period. It's definitely, yeah, I like 821 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,720 that one. Oh my gosh. 822 00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:05,600 OK, this one says just because I'm home doesn't mean I'm 823 00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:09,000 available for child care. Don't send it. 824 00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:13,520 That's so true though, because, OK, I can definitely relate to 825 00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:19,120 this because I work from home. I maybe need to go in once every 826 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,120 three months, like into a physical place. 827 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,560 So I work from home. And that's so true. 828 00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,680 People in general, they think that just because you work from 829 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,200 home, you are just the babysitter and you don't have 830 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:33,080 real things to do. No, I have so many things to do, 831 00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,320 if not more. So yeah, I agree with you, 832 00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:38,640 stepmom. You are not the free babysitter. 833 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:43,960 OK, here's one to end on because this is like the catapult to our 834 00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:46,720 episode today. Being a stepmom in the summer 835 00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:51,400 feels like emotional overtime. Oh my gosh, so true. 836 00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:56,120 Send it. I know Alyssa and I are bad. 837 00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,600 Yeah, for like, yeah, just send it just. 838 00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,440 We're not coaches. Yeah, no. 839 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,520 Never. Well, anyways, I hope everyone 840 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:08,440 feels like they have some kind of support for this summer. 841 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,240 You feel a little bit lighter going into it. 842 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,920 Hopefully by time we have this episode coming out, there's 843 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:18,880 still time to sign up for camps, get the summer guide, get 844 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,600 yourself an electronic calendar. We can put the link to the one 845 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:24,960 that we have with a discount code. 846 00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:30,280 Get yourself the Get Out pass. That's going to be a lifesaver 847 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:34,200 in a number of ways. And remember to have those talks 848 00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,480 with your significant other. Have those talks about 849 00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,400 expectations, discipline, all those things to prep yourself 850 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,160 and prep your marriage for survival. 851 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,400 That's it. Book yourself a trip and a spa 852 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,200 day and a maid for when the Yeah. 853 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,840 And drop all your summer meal ideas and summer hacks because 854 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:55,960 we don't know it all so we need ideas too. 855 00:45:55,960 --> 00:46:00,760 So drop them in the comments and we'll see you all next week and 856 00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:02,320 hope you guys have a good rest of your week. 857 00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,800 Bye, bye bye. That's it for this week on 858 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:08,720 Stepmom Side Chats. We're Alyssa and Becca, your 859 00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:11,960 stepmom besties. Before you go, if something we 860 00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:16,440 said hit a little close to home, go ahead and hit Follow now so 861 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,560 you don't miss future episodes and share with another stepmom 862 00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,000 to help us grow. If you want to connect between 863 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,760 episodes, follow us on Instagram at Stepmom Side. 864 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:27,080 Chats and send us what you want us to chat about next. 865 00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,600 Keep giving yourself grace, you're doing better than you 866 00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,520 think. We'll chat with you all soon.