It's time for let's get some ground strokes, baseline, get
some top spin that's LGBT. Have a listen.
Make some noise with the ball boys.
Hey everybody, and welcome to a brand new season of The Ball
Boys. We are the tennis podcast that
puts the balls in ball drop. I'm your host, Paul Monkle.
I'm bringing you the insights, outbursts, giggles and wiggles
of the ATP and WTA tours. And happy 2026, everyone.
We're recording this on January 1st and thank God 2025 is over.
Listeners, do you have any New Year's resolutions?
Are we still making those or are we just happy that we survived
2025 both in the world and on tour?
If you just made it through the year, congratulations.
If you've spent the last seven days couch rotting like I have,
kudos. And if you don't ever want to
talk about 2025 again, Amen, sister.
But how are we all feeling about 2026?
I got to say, I'm feeling oddly optimistic.
Dare I say refreshed? Maybe even hopeful.
Might I be making 2026 my bitch? Possibly, and this might be the
heated rivalry effect, because that show has done a number on
me. It put me in my fields.
It may believe in love again. I might even get a boyfriend
this year. Seriously, love used to mean
nothing to me. But also, that's tennis folks.
And this is the vibe that we're bringing into the brand new
season. The ball boys, we've got a butt
load in store for you this year. We've got new balls, we've got
new segments, we've got new events, but we've got the same
old snark and a healthy addiction to puns.
And yes, we are going back to our regularly scheduled
programming of every two weeks as the tours are starting to
pick up steam. And on today's show, we are
breaking down the offseason, the end of year action and some
predictions and resolutions for the new year.
And I suppose at this point it's no surprise, but the offseason
had some pretty big surprises. Carlos Alcaraz has split from
his coach Juan Carlos Ferrero, and we're going to be breaking
down what that means for our very own heated rivalry between
Yannick and Carlos. Spoiler, it ain't good.
And we also had a battle of the sexes.
Oops, sorry, I mean battle of the sexes.
That finally answered the question, how low can an
exhibition go? And we're covering off our own
tennis resolutions. Plus, in classic ball boys
fashion, we're going to play a game where we match different
resolutions to different players.
Now to do all this, there's no one I'd rather kick off the new
year with than today's Co host. She's our very own lady ball
boy. She's the insanely talented
writer of Amazon's bestseller Erie Basin, a sports writer, a
former squash pro. All around Batty.
It's Ivy Pakoda. Hi Ivy, How are you?
I'm good. Paul, how are you doing?
I'm good. Happy New Year.
How are you feeling about 2026?
Are you optimistic? I mean, it's going to be better
than 2025. So I guess I'm optimistic in
that regard, but you know, that's kind of a low bar.
Yeah, you know, I'm hopeful that I'm safe and saying it can't get
worse. Or am I just jinxing it all?
I hope. Not, I mean, I don't know.
I think it can't get worse, but who knows.
Yeah, I mean, you the things that we saw last year, I didn't,
I did not see some of them coming, but but I'm going to
hold on to the hope. I'm going to hold on to the
maybe naive optimism. Do you make New Year's
resolutions? I mean, not really.
I just feel like I'm making resolutions all year.
Like I'm going to be sitter, I'm going to eat better, I'm going
to write more, I'm going to drink less, I'm going to spend
less money on food. I'm constantly making
resolutions. Right.
I have a little bit of magical thinking though, where I'm like,
you know what? OK, this is that moment I'm
going to make clean break. Like this morning, I deleted
TikTok off my phone. Last night I went to bed early
and I was going to have a great night's sleep, and before I knew
it, I'd spent two hours watching some Clem family play stupid
games at their Indiana compound. Like what am I doing with my
life that might? Be.
Worth it. I mean it's the the dopamine hit
is real, but I don't know I don't have any resolutions right
now. I also feel like I'm kind of
like fully formed, like apex predator.
I'm like the Orca of loose Feliz, like I don't need to do
anything else. Yeah.
I mean, I would, I think like at this stage, I am who I am.
It's gonna change that. Big surprise, guys.
Oh yeah, I have a totally new holistic I.
Play piano. Yeah.
No. Yeah.
OK, we got to talk heated rivalry right off the bat.
This show, it had a stranglehold on me since episode 3.
The 1st 2 episodes I was like, oh it's just kind of horny,
porny or whatever. I've never had a visceral
reaction in this show and I know you just binged it all.
What is your take? Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Episode 3 to the end, it was like intense and insane.
I can't get it out of my head, like it's some kind of weird
drug. Yeah, well, and and it's
everywhere, like you were saying, you were looking at
Instagram and it's like every other.
Oh my God, my entire feed is either I like, I don't know what
happened. I don't think I clicked on
anything, but like they know, they know that I need to see.
It's like he did rivalry live reactions.
He did rivalry live in We ho. He did the rival's lesbian bar
in Portland, you know, and then there's the two actors here.
They are doing this GQ shoot. Have you seen the puppets yet?
The scene where he's in the hospital bed telling Elia he
wants him to come to the cottage, but it's like it's like
a it's a puppy dog puppet and a shark puppet.
No, I haven't seen. That I'm sure I will.
It will now that I've said it to the into this mic, it will be on
all of our heat. Yeah, you know, ever.
I know a bunch of people who are like, well, I don't really need
to see that show. I get it.
Like, no, you need to see it. Like you don't get it.
It's not what you think. No, that's the whole thing.
It zigs when you think it's just zagging and it's like, oh, I've
never been just cracked open emotionally by a show like this.
Episode 5. Oh my God, Start to finish,
falling, start to finish. There wasn't.
I was like, I knew it was going to get me from when it started
that and it just like kept turning and Oh my God.
Episode 6 also. Oh yeah.
Yeah, I was thinking they would do something more tough or
whatever the finale and make it kind of like hard love or tough
love. But they didn't.
They landed like a total softball of an ending.
And I was like, wow, that's just what the world needed.
That's what I needed. I don't need some, like, weird
HBO, like, maybe they're not going to see each other ever
again because, you know, the world found out.
And I was like, just sweet. And oh, God, as we talked about
by a text yesterday, like, I actually don't want any more
seasons because that was sort of perfect.
And I know where to get into. Like, one of them wants to be
out in public with the relationship and the other
doesn't. So it's going to be like
relationship drama and like the NHL isn't going to embrace it
and the endorsements and this and that and like a lot of just
like I've worried we're to go into like very cookie cutter
homophobia sports stuff, which the show is heretofore avoided.
Exactly. Like, yeah, we, we survived the
gay tragedy tropes of like, oh, well, someone's going to die,
they're going to break up, they're going to get beaten up
or gay bash. And it's just because, and I saw
this comment somewhere, it's like, because that it's the
romance genre and the romance genre, it works out.
Yeah, what? Who knew?
This is going to be a lesson for both of us.
You got it right. Like we all needed this.
Like, straight women love this show.
Oh my God. OK.
Can you represent all of straight women?
All of them right now? Why?
Like, what is the cause? At first I was like, is it
because is it hot to watch two guys get it on?
But also the emotional side. I mean, they're hot, Like
there's no denying that, especially Scott Hunter
Francois, I know he is so fine. It's it's insane.
Insane. Of that casting of the slightly
older, like, well, it's just it's chef's kiss.
I feel that there's so many cheesy love stories or like
tough love stories for women. And this is sort of what we
want, but we never get to see a show about it.
Like you see shitty Hallmark Christmas movies and like,
that's like what we get. I like, no, I'm an ex
professional athlete. I want, I mean, I'm going to
only speak for ex professional athlete women.
I want this. I want like, my unrequited love
sports story to like, come true, true.
I think a lot of women tend, you know, to feel sort of rejected
or ghosted. And right now there's so much
chatter online about like, dating and avoiding.
And I think that women feel that right now.
The dating scene is particularly hard.
So like, the romance of this is really appealing.
I feel like myself, like there's always some kind of barrier to
romance. You're not supposed to want to
be romantic because the minute you suggest that to a guy, he
runs for the hills, you know? And Elia is a little bit anti
romantic at first, but then he turns a fucking corner.
But I think it very much reflects like the female
experience in a certain way, minus the like having to hide
you're a same sex couple or whatever.
But I think. There's and all of the anal.
And all of the maybe, I mean all of the, I think, I'm sure
there's some anal in many heterosexual couples, just not
quite that much. Yeah, you should ask my Barber.
He's straight and he talks a lot about it.
Your Your Barber likes anal. He likes giving anal yes to
women. Yeah, yeah, I got that part OK.
Spell this out. I'm He's never going to let me
sit in his chair again. Did that come?
Up. I I'm a pretty personable
person. I don't know, it's just.
I mean me too, but like what? This is what guys talk about.
They talk about anal OK, but the thing about Heat referee is also
straight men are loving it because I don't know if you know
that hockey podcast Empty Netters, which I love as a name.
I love a pun. As we all know, it's three
straight guys. I.
Think, oh I watch reactions from that, don't worry.
It's live reactions and they're just like, they're locked in.
One of them is crying, they're cheering.
I think that this story gives universally what everyone has
kind of been made to feel too jaded to even say they want.
Yes, exactly. That's what I was saying about
women. Why they we're not allowed to
say that we want like we everyone's like you got to be
tough and you don't take no for an answer and you've got to
like, you know, be a like a stone cold bitch to get a guy
because then he'll run if you show emotion like this is
bullshit, man. We're in this like he's just not
that into you. Let them weird post emotional
post trying post putting yourself out there.
But I we all want. I mean I swear to God I feel
like the Lexapro dosage in West Hollywood has all been lowered.
Like everyone is happy. People are just legitimately
walking around. Like I have hope.
Yeah, and I really feel that if I have to watch a season where
the relationship is tested, well, it might not be because
the all the books are in the romance genre.
They have to stay together. You know, I teach creative
writing. A lot of my students are write,
write romance. And I had to learn a bit about
the genre and like, it's, you know, there's no like, hold on
for Book 3 when they get back together.
There's no like Empire Strikes Back in the romance.
Right, there's closure. Dark ending, yeah.
I wouldn't mind and we were talking about this also, I
wouldn't mind maybe two more episodes, but I don't need I
don't need any more narrative like when when they that final
scene. I don't know if you did this
too, but on episode 6 when they're just driving off, I
watched to the very end because I I like the song.
I like the way they touched each other.
I like, it was just like, I was like, that's all we need.
They drove. Off, right.
I mean, it's like the show is going to have to be very
surprising to me at this point where they're like out in the
NFL or what those challenges are in the NHL.
Those challenges are like, like, I kind of can guess what that
is. It it's going to very easily get
very schmaltzy because like, look, not everyone in the NHL is
extremely accepting. So if they if, if we start
getting fed that narrative, it actually becomes a little
harmful. Yeah, I know.
I can't do that. It's like, no, no, no.
And also like I mean they're hot as fuck but we've seen them
fucking for like 6 episodes or whatever so like the surprise of
them fucking is not going to be. I love my kids upstairs
listening to this. He's burning all his Barber
likes anal like. She's got to learn.
She's got. To learn his Barb Paul's Barber,
let's be very clear, you know, But like, we've seen them
fucking, we've seen them blowing each other.
We've seen like all jerking off at each other.
Like the surprise element of that is gone.
Also, they've learned about their gay sexuality.
You know, Hollander had a big old eye opening experience about
what this shit was. So like, what is the steamy next
step? Well, that's the thing.
It's like, because, you know, every gay relationship ends up
being open. So it's just going to be like,
oh, Elia wants to keep it open, but like that, we don't need
that. I think the second book is about
Elia wanting to go public with a relationship and Shane doesn't.
Well, I mean, I'll watch it. I love it and I'm forever
grateful. And I will be re watching it
probably too often. I also need a little break
though. And we were all started.
It's like I'm saturated. Yeah, yeah.
OK, I'll tell you. In the height of my mania, my
friend Matt and I, Hey, Matt. We went to Dick's Sporting Goods
the other night just to go to the hockey section.
We were like, should we just go there?
And I have no idea why. I don't know if we were
expecting it to be the next gay bar.
No one was there like hot gay men.
Yeah, I was like, maybe we're all going to be going to the
Dick's Sporting Good Hockey store.
Sadly, there was nothing there. They had the smallest hockey
section, but the clerk that was working there, he's like, but I
feel like it's getting more popular.
More people are coming in and asking for it.
And I was like, that's those are my girls.
I am going to the Boy aquarium on January 12th.
Oh, through the Kings. Oh, OK, I'm.
Jealous. That's why I need to get my
Scott Hunter shirt before I go. Oh my God, yeah, It's it's that
is going to be such a party. It's going to be unlike their
last season's attendance. I'll, we'll just.
Say that I'm excited. To wrap this up, we are going to
play a game called Heated Rive Rally, which is it's a tennis
based game and no, we're not outing anybody.
We're not going to say who's gay and who's this, but I just have
that. Insider knowledge we're so.
Yeah, I know everyone is gay. I'm just not telling you all No,
I don't know anything and I don't care.
Outing people is so stupid. But I am starting to see the
world kind of like 15 years ago when everyone was starting to
see these Sex and the City characters of like, oh, you're
such a Carrie. You're such a Miranda.
You're such a Samantha. I'm starting to see it like, oh,
you're you're such a shame. You're such an Elia.
And so Ivy, I want us to pick out.
We're each going to pick out players that we think on the on
the ATP Tour or WTA Tour also like who is who is an Elia, who
is a Shane, who is a Scott and who is a Kip?
OK, so I'll give an example. Like I think that Carlos Alcaraz
is big Shane energy. OK.
And who is his Elia? Well, so we don't need to do the
narrative because I'm not going to be like, oh, these two people
are fucking. But I think obviously his Ilia
is Yannick. They have that that energy, that
dynamic. They've been chasing each other.
It's one of them each other. And they have a love for each
other that is pretty beautiful and authentic.
Because also Yannick Sinner operates a little bit like an
Ilia, a little more stoic, a little more like just angular.
So so those would be two picks for a Shane and Anelia.
Who do you Do you have any? Yeah, totally.
I I this is a bit retro, but I'm going to go with Nadal as a Elia
and Federer as Shane. Interesting.
Same thing, they have this rivalry, they couldn't exist in
the same way without each other. Obviously they're both
incredible tennis players on their own, but without each
other the story isn't actually complete or it's not the same.
I mean also people have been making this joke about Nadal and
Federer for years that they. Were like, oh, forever, yeah.
I was like taking a shower this morning or thinking about taking
a shower maybe, and it's hearsay.
And I was like, is that where she got the idea from?
The like the story, the rumors about Federer and Nadal?
I was like, she must. OK, so who is Djokovic if he was
one of them? Oh God, he's just too weird.
I think he's a Scott Hunter. I think he is like super driven,
a little like aggro, a little American Psycho ish in his
lifestyle. He's the but Hunter's so sweet.
Well, but it's underneath, like you got to get to that sweet
center. There's a hard shell on the
outside. Yeah, I guess with like the
superstition stuff too. Yes, gotta have that banana
smoothie every morning. Blueberry.
Blueberry with banana. That's the secret, yes.
Like, like what? What a revelation.
I know I was like, really girl? Oh, spirulina powder.
Yeah, I love arena Spirulina. I so I think that I was
struggling with Kip. I think that someone like a
demon hour is a Kip. Yeah, totally.
Or a rude. Yes, yes, like a little more,
not on the passive, but a little passive.
Innocent. A good boy.
Yeah.
Yeah, Rude. Could also be a shame though.
Rude could be a shame. Tell me more.
He has a little bit of that like just cuz he's Nordic and
reserved, he sort of has a very reserved, sort of considered way
of talking that seems a little bit shame to me.
And I could see being like totally lovesick like.
Yes, and like, is he a bottom, you know?
Oh, for sure. I could see that.
Yeah, let's be honest. OK.
I was also thinking about Tommy Paul and Taylor Fritz.
Tommy Paul's totally a Scott Hunter.
Yes, he's got that all American energy that Scott Hunter has.
Yes, he's like Captain America. Yes, totally.
Yeah, but like also all time smoke show, just like the actor
sort. Of kind of the same kind of age,
I think. Yeah, like they're not the young
kids on the on the scene anymore, you know, like us.
We're we're the twinks. But yeah, I could say.
But then I was thinking Fritz, I was like, Fritz also kind of
gives me in some ways he gives me Ilia.
In some ways, he gives me Kip. I don't think he's fun enough to
be Elia. Yeah, yeah.
So maybe he's just a Kip. Yeah, he's just like, not my
favorite personality, so I don't want to put him in hated
rivalry. But everyone is one of them.
Which one are you? Oh, good question, Paul.
I didn't think about that. I think maybe Elia, because I'm
not, I like Shane's not very self confident and I feel like
I'm a little more self confident than that.
You are such an Elia like, OK, good.
Completely. Yeah, yeah.
I'm not a power bottom. No, you're a top and you know,
let's like, let's be. Like my dad's going to love, my
dad's going to love this episode.
Dad raised the top. My dad's a big listener, so.
Your dad's a bottom. No, just.
Oh, my God. Hi, Daddy.
OK, which one am I? I have no idea.
I You're. Totally a Scott hunter.
Am IA Scott Hunter? Oh, for sure.
OK, I'll take that. Yeah, you have that sort of.
You're tall. You've got that sort of all
American energy in a certain way.
You know, you're definitely not a shame.
No, I don't feel like I'm a shame.
I wish I were in some ways because like.
Or maybe I'm just jealous that he's with you if.
You're out and proud, so you've got to be Scott Hunter.
Yeah, OK. And listeners, hey, if you've,
if you've got some insights of which player is which character,
hit us up over on Instagram. Our Instagram, as always, is at
TBB Tennis. That's at TBB Tennis.
Let us know who is who. Let us know who you are, Which
character are you? Because I think this is the new
Sex and the City. And make sure you tag #heated
rivalry so we get extra engagement.
Yeah, yeah, I only want to see hockey pucks in my feed and
women crying. And like ads for T-shirts from
heated rivalry merch. Yeah, exactly.
OK, well if that wasn't gay enough, we're going to move on
to our lobs beans, which is as always, the things that just
have made us gayer for tennis since the last show.
There's always so many. We post a lot of these on her
Instagram, so go check us out over there.
But a few big things that have happened.
Venus Williams, she is finally an honest woman.
She has gotten married. It was so extremely chic and
fun. A whole weekend of festivities.
I'm so happy for her and her spread in Vogue.
Oh my God, this put her on the runway.
She is stunning. She had the whole bridal party
in white also, which at first I was like, oh, I don't know about
that, but it looked chic. It looked great.
I mean, it's weird when you see the outtakes of just her and
Serena in the white dresses because you're like, why is she?
Why are they both wearing white? But that you see all of them.
It makes sense. Yeah, you're totally right.
Because when I first just saw it with Serena, I was like.
They just wearing white dress. Sister's wedding.
Yeah, that's that's like, let her have this day.
Yeah, yeah, she's now going to be the Co chair for the Met
Gala, also with Beyoncé and Nicole Kidman.
Hello. But I got to wonder.
So literally just announced she just got a wild card to
Australia, which is great. Yeah, it just happened, which I
was like, wait, doesn't she want to go on her honeymoon or
something? But is this her last year on
tour? I.
Mean your guess is as good as mine.
I thought five years ago was her last year.
Also, has she been training real hard since the wedding?
Is she going to be ready for this?
I love that she's doing it. I mean, so how old is Venus?
She's 45. She's 45, I'm 48 and I went and
played squash yesterday. I have a bad knee at the moment
and that wasn't bugging me. My hip was tight and I
immediately pulled my like, tweaked my SI joint somehow like
I was old like. Our bodies can't do this
forever. How does she do that?
It's crazy. Yeah, I don't, I don't have the
highest hopes that she's going to go on a big run.
I mean, she's never won the Australian Open.
Maybe she'll win a match. I'll watch her until until the
next season of heated rivalry. I do think this is her last year
though, and I do think Serena's going to come back for a Double
S tournament and that's going to be the.
Big thing. I'm ready for all of that.
Yeah, Yeah, I think it's time, yeah.
But I'm just glad that we get a little more taste of Venus and
another lobby and has just been the end of year Bay TP debate.
So I got to respond to this because I posted at the end of
last year our year end Bay Teepee rankings.
And as the kids say, UNK got cooked in the comments.
So there's a lot of feedback. And look, I appreciate the
debate. It's a very important subject of
who's in the top eight of the Bay teepee.
But I just want to give a reminder to everyone that we are
not just a list of hot guys because if we're just that, that
that list will get so stale and it'll be the same 8 bimbos week
after week because nothing's going to change.
Like who's so hot this week? So it's also based on on court
performance. It's based on cultural impact.
So if you are in vogue like you know when Felix Ojelia seems
wedding was in vogue he got bait TP points.
Also she was playing amazing at the end of the season like that
man course corrected in a in the same way he became the player
everyone thought he could be in like last three turnips of the
season. Exactly.
And also, you know, throughout the course of the year, if you
beat a villain, like if you beat Zverev or if you beat Novak,
when it happens to be a time when I hate Novak, you get extra
Bay TP points. So it's all of those things
combined. So that there's there is
versatility, there's variety. So if you're big Jack Draper
fan, sorry Nathan Frizzell, you better hope that that man gets
back on the court because if you're not playing actively,
then you're not going to get the point.
I just want to say that I appreciate the debate and we're
going to continue having it because the debate TP is not
going anywhere. We might have to expand to 10
instead of 8. But I also want to make one more
heated rivalry point. Look, we love Shane and Elia and
Scott Hunter. You know what?
Those boys are not benchwarmers. Those are the three best players
in the entire league and that's what makes them hot.
I'm sorry, but if they were like third string, if they were the
waterboy, we wouldn't care as much.
So we like so the Bay TP. It matters if you're actually
winning tournaments. Like you can't be some male
model plays tennis. Yeah, you're not going to make
the cut like, you know, sorry. Like you could.
Maybe you're like, not the best performing player, but you do
something amazing like come out for Black Lives Matter or
something exactly in the sporting world.
Like if any of these guys had spoken out against the USTA
censoring Trump being booed at the US Open, they would have
gotten ATP points. Or like saying you don't want
the women to have to go play in Saudi Arabia.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Casper Rude is the only player
who speaks out against Saudi Arabia.
He gets points for that. He also gets points for suddenly
being a potential power bottom. Oh my God, yeah.
OK. The last slobs me in, though,
and this is going to get into a meteor discussion, is Carlos
Alcaraz and his thirsty, thirsty social media activity lately.
Like he has graduated from the puppy Cam of him doing stretches
in the weight room to like, I'm calling it only cans.
I I think what's happened is he's gone through this breakup
and this heartache and he's posting these thirst traps.
He's basically in his underwear. He is fully untucked.
Like, his Dick is literally flopping around and half of them
and I'm like, is he trying to show Juan Carlos Ferrero what
he's missing? Like, you know when someone
dumps you, you're going to be like revenge body.
He did that whole year in review carousel slideshow on Instagram
and didn't post a single picture of Juan Carlos.
No, no. Approached him to two majors,
yeah. Oh, who, who was so important
and, and, and meaningful? And, and we're going to talk
about the split in a little more serious manner, but I'm just
sort of like, have you seen some of these?
The new trend is the players are rolling their shorts up into
their underwear. It looks like a diaper.
I mean, it's, it's sexy, but it's it's a little desperate,
it's a little thirsty. And I'm like, OK, are you trying
to show Juan Carlos what you missed?
Is this your is this in a way that you're going to get a new
coach? Like, I don't know if Goran
Ivanisovic is at home being like, wow, this guy is sexy.
And then I was also wondering, Ivy, like, do women even like
it? Or is he just doing it for gay
men? Like why is he doing this?
I don't personally, I'm not like a physique person, you know, I
spend a lot of time with athletes in the gym.
Like it doesn't interest me. I even find sometimes like with
the they're like because my of course, my Instagram was all
heated rivalry when they're flexing their muscles and
looking like that. I don't like that as much as
just sort of like casual. Go soft.
When my female friends were really into the doll, posing
shirtless. I'm like, I don't have no
interest in this. This is that but with your Dick
showing. Like he's literally doing slow
MO videos his. Dick.
I do not want to see his Dick. And so, but I'm just wondering
what is his strategy there? Is he just like I'm a badass?
I'm like a partier. I'm so hot.
I mean, no coach is going to be like, I want to coach that.
I mean, yes, they are because he's the best tennis player in
the world. So they could coach, they could
coach him if he just was like full frontal erection on
Instagram. Like it's like, you know, like
I'll still coach him. I have some thoughts why he's
doing it. Like he's the anti Sinner.
Like Sinner Sinner is not going to do this.
A little fucking tucked in polo shirt.
Like has a girlfriend at all times.
He always has a serious girlfriends and carries a Gucci
purse on court. Alcaraz is a good tennis player
and kind of like a boy who lives in a small apartment is all I
really know about him. He doesn't have an image.
I have gone through some of my contacts in the sporting world
that he's a bit of a party boy and he likes the ladies.
That that's one of the reasons he underperforms in certain
masters is he's like out in the town of Monte Carlo in Miami and
what have you. And, you know, you've never seen
with a girlfriend because probably women throwing
themselves at him. I used to think you'd never saw
him with a girlfriend because he was like a nerd, but I think
he's quite the opposite. So I think these pictures are
like maybe like, I don't know, Juan Carlos was like, don't do
that or, you know. Yeah, I feel like he's acting
out. I I keep comparing him to JoJo
Siwa, but I again, it's reminding me of JoJo.
It's just sort of I think that this is going to be his
rebellious year and he's going to be like, yeah, like I don't
care. And like I'm worried about what
this year is going to look like for him.
Like I don't think that he's has a shot in Australia because Rick
right now his his former secondary coach is going to be
his head coach, Co coached by his brother, his brother who
literally couldn't get the right Clipper on to give him a haircut
to U.S. Open and shaved his head bald by
accident. That's who your coach is now.
Well, I mean that really worked for him because people started
talking about his hair non-stop. I don't know too much about his
brother. I know more about his younger
brother Jaime. Sometimes your family coach is
someone who just keeps you on the straight and narrow or, you
know, keeps you motivated. But I worry that this coach
situation with the family member is also a huge enabler, though I
don't really know. He's probably just kind of
fucking win Australia and surprise us all.
I mean, he he could because he's obviously generational talent.
I just, I think this move is going to hurt him both this year
and potentially in the long run. Like he could end up being a
Bjorn Borg. Like, I forget who was saying
it, but someone's like, you know, this, this he could just
burn himself out by partying and and like, retire at 25.
Well, Borg retired because he just got sick of the spotlight
and the pressure and I guess he was like partying.
I think actually you're right that his chances in Australia
are probably lower than Sinner's because I bet Sinner's been
training the whole holiday season.
Oh, Sinner is like locked in and and Sinner actually did post a
shirtless photo. It was, it was like, yes, that
is also what an athlete's body looks like.
And it was just like skin and bones and a six pack.
And you know what? It's great.
Every. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's not really. I don't call that a shirtless
photo. I call it a photo with his shirt
off. Yeah, exactly.
So when this breakup happened, I was shocked.
I was. I was so surprised and I was
going to the comments section as everyone does on Instagram.
And what really annoyed me was like all of these people in the
tennis world just immediately going to congratulations, you
guys had the best run. Oh my God, that was so great.
I'm so happy for you both. Well done guys.
And I was like, wait, this is like watching like mommy and
daddy get a divorce. This is watching dad walk out on
his kid. And we're all like,
congratulations. I was so surprised and kind of
upset when I heard that it happened.
Like were you expecting? It No, not at all.
I've been a huge fan of Juan Carlos since forever and he's
always seemed like a really good guy.
Very mild mannered, very restrained, focused.
I don't believe that he is lying when he says that he was sort of
sideswiped by the whole Alcaraz family.
And I know he's not giving all the details, but it did seem
that they sort of, you know, fucked him and.
Yeah. Yeah, I, I, I guess I'm, I was
surprised that it happened, but when a few small details came
out, it sort of makes sense in a certain way.
And this happens, you're always like, I'm always surprised.
I think Twitter, they're like Radicano, like she wins the US
Open and fires her coats. And, you know, this is just what
happens. This is a weird analogy, but I
used to date a chef and we would watch Top Chef all the time and
we made this joke like if you go on Top Chef, you need to have
tattooed in your arms. Stay focused.
Don't make what you don't know. Like it's always some guy in the
finale of Top Chef Like, well, I've never made this like crazy
thing using this machine ever, but I'm going to do it on live
TV with $100,000 at stake. And then next season somebody
comes in like I'm not very good at making pasta, but I'm going
to do it by hand using scissors, you know?
And there's this same thing. You're like, I won this
tournament and like, I've had this great thing going for me,
but I'm going to fire my it happens quite frequently in
tennis. Yeah, no, that's a great point.
I mean, I can't help but think of Coco Golf after she won the
US Open. She gets rid of Brad Gilbert.
Exactly. Dude, that was that was how you
won that tournament. That was working.
Yeah, that was working. Yeah.
And there are different rumors out there about, oh, it's about
money. It's about Juan Carlos didn't
like his lifestyle that Carlos was was leading.
Also, Juan de Carlos didn't want to travel as much.
And also too many exhibitions I think, which I agree with if
that's true. Fuck, yeah.
But I think that it was it was interesting because from what
I've read, Juan Carlos and Carlos never actually talked
face to face about it was all through the family.
And I think the family overstepped.
And that's a real beta cuck move from Carlos Alcarez to let his
family. Be here infant.
He didn't want his coach. Like is he not an adult human
being? Yeah, it it's like, wait, you're
going to let your family just determine the future of the most
impactful relationship on your tennis career by miles?
You're going to just seed control and be on the sideline
just posting Dick pics. That's why I was like, what are
you doing? Carlos?
You seem so unfazed by the breakup.
You know, what's interesting is I feel like now we're having
this conversation, like, know too much about Alcarass's
personality. I know a lot more about sinners.
I feel like Carlos might be having a little bit of like a
Justin Bieber moment. He was raised in the spotlight,
but he was never allowed to be himself.
And like, maybe, maybe he doesn't know who he is.
Maybe he was tired of that second daddy.
If I had to make my like completely off base prediction,
he's going to win the French with whatever jaggy ass coaching
team he's put together and assume it's all going to be
fine. And then in the summer I think
he'll do fine at the Australian, Not as bad as we think.
He's not going to win it. Then he's going to win the
French. He's definitely the best on play
and then the wheels will come off.
Yeah, I think it's going to take a little longer.
I I agree, but as as one may know, I have a a penchant for
for big talking. So I don't think he's winning a
slam next year. OK, so we'll see.
But yeah, I mean, the the the French is the one that he has
the the best shot at. But I actually kind of I, I can
see a world where Djokovic sneaks in and takes #25 at the
French because of this, like a betting man.
Rises from the dead. Yeah, exactly.
Nadal comes out of retirement, you know you've.
Heard it first since the past is winning the French this year.
OK, if this happens I'm going to make this a real.
Yeah. OK, well we will see what
happens in the ongoing saga or remember the saga is over and
maybe it's just like OK shit happens and they'll all move on.
But I, and again, maybe heated rivalries just made me so
emotional, but like, I was even sad that Diminauer broke up with
ASICS and is now with Wilson. I mean, I'm just like, I just
want everyone to stay together. That's where I'm at.
That's where my my 2026 mind is. Oh my God, but the Wilson
clothes are so good. Oh, it's so good.
It's so hot. Clothes is like there's nothing
like them in tennis. They're killing it, yeah.
Unlike some outfits we've seen. Unlike, I mean, another knock
for Carlos at the Australian Open.
His kit is hideous. It's like a giant green and
white and black like hair. It's just weird.
Yeah, it's hideous. Yeah, moving on a little bit to
some actual action that took place.
There's been some some promising tennis that's a bit of a
harbinger for things to come. Some just rehash some themes and
we're money grabs. All of it took place in the
Middle East, which as a gay for tennis podcast, just is great.
I love that we just keep giving the Middle East all this money
and attention. But we had the Next Gen. finals.
This is a really interesting tournament in general.
It's when we've gotten early looks at legitimate future
stars. It was the first time we saw
Yannick Sinner. He won it as a wild card in
2019. He was like ranked 93rd in the
world. No one.
That was the first time I ever heard like the Sinner boom.
And my nipples got hard and I was like, that is a forehand.
This year's field. Pretty damn week.
Lerner, TN ranked inside the top 30 and then everyone else is
ranked outside of the top 100. This is the worst ranking field
for the Next Gen. tournament. What's the age cap for next Gen.
20. How old is Fonseca?
Oh he he qualified, he just didn't play.
Same with Mensit. Oh, they just didn't play OK.
Yeah, they saved a lot again. So if the guys who who qualified
had all played it, it, it would be more competitive, but more
and more people who are qualifying but just not playing,
They've already got the high profile they've already got.
And also the season's so long they want the break.
So Lerner Tian wins, which is great.
I love Lerner's game. I, I, I, I, I love seeing his
coach Michael Chang around. The tennis was fine, but I think
it would have been way worse if Lerner Tian hadn't won, like
against this really weak field. I do like the fast format.
These matches were over in 40 minutes.
It was sets to four. It was super fast.
Every match was like a nibble because it wasn't the greatest
field. I was like, I I was I was fine
with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One thing I couldn't stop looking at was even when they're
playing and it's all indoors, obviously because it's 1000°
over there, the the audience is bathed in red light for the
entire match. And I was just like, this is
just looks like the evil empire, the bowels of hell.
Like what, like why? And we're.
Palpatine's chamber. Yes, I was like, OK, is this
like The Shining? Everyone's like covered in blood
and. Blood of infidels.
Yeah, seriously, we will find you.
But to your point earlier though of like, you know these players,
a lot of the ones that qualify don't need it.
Like do we need the Next Gen. Cup?
We need nothing after the end of the season is my feeling. 0
things. I mean I try my hardest to get
psyched for the Asia swing and there are some cool stuff that
happens over there. But then by the time the Paris
Masters rolls around I'm like OK are we finishing this shit?
I other people are huge fans of the WTA Finals.
This year was a good one, but like anything post, the end of
the season seems so superfluous that I could just I think we
just need a break. We made this joke last year
because I almost did this with you.
This opening podcast last year was that the season had already
started in 2024 or 2025. But you know, I just think it's
all stupid. I just think there's too much
nonsense at the end of the year. So I had a theory, I think one
of the impetuses impetai for why they would have this was it.
It started in 2017 during the tail end but still peak BIG4
where they were still winning. Everything he needed new names.
And, and, and it was. And we'd seen a generation of
the Dimitrovs and and others never breakthrough.
They were like, let's give the next Gen. a platform because
Carlos Alcaraz won next Gen. Sinner won next Gen.
All these guys who are now fixtures in top 20 participated.
So I was like, OK, it's legit. It's not like American Idol
where you win American Idol and then you never heard from again.
You win next Gen. you're probably in the mix going
forward. But now that the big four are
all gone except for for Novak, and it's easier to get exposure,
it's easier to get some wins on tour if the draw is as weak as
what we just had. I'm sorry, I except for learner
Tien. I don't think we're going to be
talking about anyone else who was in the field.
And that's when it's like, if it's going to be like that, they
got to get rid of it. Yeah, and I don't think learner
Tien has to be a top ten player if you want to know the truth.
I think he's got, he's got potential.
I don't think it's a lot that he's.
No, no, no, no. But if we don't have at least
three or four people at the level of a Lerner Tien and a
Fonseca and a Sinner emerging and kind of coming out of, you
know, prepubescence, then there's no point in having this
tournament. And then we then I think we
leave it behind. So because otherwise, yeah, let
these kids rest, Let them. Let them go play Xbox.
The other big thing that we had for action since the last show
was Battle of the Sexists, which is Arena Sabalinka versus Nick.
Curious. Battle of the Sexes.
I mean, talk about 1 battle after another.
Jesus fucking Christ. So Ivy, you and I were going to
live stream it watching it from your bed.
I come over, we're in bed watching it.
Thank God we decide not to do that, because what a mess.
It was the hottest mess I've seen of a sports exhibition in
my life. Like what?
So just to recap, Nick Kirios wins Shocker in straight sets
and I actually think that you picked the score because you
were like, no, they won't let Arena lose 6 love, 6 love
because that will look horrible for women's sport and whatever.
And then, but obviously Nick is going to win and so he wins
6363. He won without trying.
First of all, for those of you who didn't see this nightmare,
the court look hella janky. Oh my God, it was crazy.
They. Could have used a regular court
and blocked it out, but they taped some kind of janky ass
court where which they had the audacity to admit a live
broadcast they'd only erected like 2 hours before.
It was, like, done overnight, yeah.
So his side of the court, at first it was Gray and ugly.
The side that Curious is standing on the side blank is
playing into his full size. And then her side, it looks like
a pickleball court looks like at least a foot and 1/2 or foot in
on. Either side of that.
And a foot back. So when she's serving, as you
notice she's standing way behind that line and she has to hit
into a much smaller target area. So Curious can't actually play
even close to his potential unless he's willing to hit the
ball straight down the middle because everything he's been
trained to do no longer exists on that court.
Yeah, I would estimate he was hitting at 50% speed because
every once in a while he'd crank one.
And you're like, oh, that's right.
Absolutely. But I just want to add one
thing. So my daughter plays squash and
she's good for the 11, you know, and I take her to the club and
she, I have a friend named Kareem who she plays with and my
like a couple other guys, they would probably beat her without
a point if they were playing full out.
They wind up getting a really good workout because they're
hitting 30-40 shots. He looked like that.
So people are assuming. Oh, and he was puffing and
puffing and like really getting. I was like, yeah, because he's,
he's keeping the ball going. He wants to play short points,
but he can't. Yeah, and you also said this.
The commentators were acting like it was a real match.
I felt like they were lying to us.
Yeah, we were lied to nonstop. The gaslighting of like, oh,
like, oh, he's really trying and and she broke him a few times,
which was just ridiculous. I don't think anyone walked away
from this looking good in the slightest.
I don't think it had anything to do with equality the way Billie
Jean King did when she played Bobby Riggs.
And it just it, it made every everyone look like an asshole
walking away from. It and the other thing was it is
not a discredit to a top female athlete to say that the number
one in the world woman will probably lose the number one
college player, the number one junior boy, you know, or anyone
outside the top 500 or 200. That has nothing to do with how
good Sabalenka is. It's just a different metric.
He's just physically stronger because he's a man.
An exhibition like that will never settle the story.
What you really needed to do is have someone go out there and
try full on and show. I'm going to work my hardest
here. I'm going to get some great
shots in here, but I'm still going to lose and it's going to
be a level playing field. Yeah, it should have been at
least. Yeah, the having the court
dimensions was such a weird gimmick and it it didn't need to
happen. And again, it diminished
everything. It was coddling to women
everywhere. I felt icky.
I felt icky too, and I felt so weird, like watching curious,
like walk up to the net and do those flicks across the net and
then it's so sad, Sad. But like Russia, its speed is
not her thing too. So he's hit it short.
She's like struggling to get it. And then everyone's thought
she'd be able to crank an amazing ball, but he was so had
a position, having sort of fed it to her, that he couldn't get
it. It just felt so dishonest.
Yeah, there was nothing authentic about it.
And also to your point, like about some general differences,
he's 6 foot 4. Like maybe battle of sex, as it
should be at least like people to sit and get Diego Schwartzman
out there. I don't know, like that's the
thing where it's just like the height.
Is one more parent. I mean, also, there was really
something on the line for Billie Jean King.
It was a huge moment for women's equality back then.
Women's tennis wasn't respected the way it is now and they
weren't paid the way it is now. Semolina had nothing to lose.
She it was a money grab. Yeah, yeah.
I couldn't find online what their appearance fee was, but
yeah, they were just getting paid.
It was, you know, and also their kids were boring, like at least
like make a show out of it. It was just yeah, yeah.
So we might not be leaving the next Gen. in 2025, but we are
definitely leaving Battle the Sexes in 2025.
So we're going to start looking ahead at what's coming up in the
year ahead of us. I want to do a quick speed round
of some predictions with you, IE.
So I've got some questions this year.
Looking ahead in 2026, who will retire, Madison Keys or Elena
Svidolina? Keys.
OK, Yeah, My theory is they're
both they're both going to get pregnant this year.
I I think like I think that Svitolina and Monfies want a
second baby and I think he's is. I think you want that major.
And then it wasn't so hot for her after that.
Exactly, You know what, I and I'm so happy for her and I will
never forget what she did for all of us.
She was like the heated rivalry for gay fans of tennis at the
Australian Open. We all needed that.
We were all like, OK, next. Which Czech WTA player will have
the healthiest year, Krzikova, Mukova or Vondrosova?
Oath. That's a fucking awesome
question. Will any?
Of them survive. Oh OK.
Honestly it's a pick em for me. Like I feel like they're.
Just wrong with those people. What happened?
Where he had. An amazing question.
They're all just one of them is always broken.
Yeah, it's it's rough. OK.
Will Davidovich Fukina finally win a tournament, or are we in
store for more tears? Oh, I really hope so.
Like I'm a huge fan. I love him.
I just love him. I've loved him since day one.
He also has an animal rescue, which I'm a big fan of.
He better win a tournament. I mean even if it's like 250.
250 yeah, Oh yeah. Just he needs to break the seal.
He needs to just like, get it done.
And pop that cherry. Go anal.
Yes. Cool.
Well, yeah. And so.
So those are some of our predictions for for the new
year. But I want to talk New Year's
resolutions. We're all making our resolutions
now. I pick up smoking just so I
could quit again. I'm just kidding.
But I want to talk tennis resolutions.
And so if anyone has listened to the show before, they know I've
got some pretty strong opinions about the tour and the state of
things and things that the tour should change.
Of course, we all want to say this year is the year we end
sport Washington, Saudi Arabia, but that's like saying we're
gonna lose weight or we're gonna start flossing.
It's just not gonna happen. I feel we're getting deeper and
deeper into Saudi Arabia. Like, Oh my.
God the Masters is coming in 2028.
And then Gabin Lugarutha is like the spokesman for Saudi Arabia
women's sport. Yeah, well, and, and honestly,
the worst part of Next Gen. was seeing Nadal all over it, just
like sitting next to all like the Sheikhs and Amir's.
I don't like it. And you know, this is not some
xenophobia. No, it's not xenophobia.
It's a culture that oppresses women and homosexuality.
That's not xenophobic, that's cultural.
Yeah. I mean, I've been to Dubai and
Sharjah, which is a dry emirate and much more conservative, and
there's some really great things there.
Yeah, I'm not saying the entire Middle East exactly.
Just saying that the women's shed and the gay shed is not
acceptable. It is not acceptable and I'm
just going to continue saying that all these other people can
go around being like, oh, it's so great for the sport.
We're growing it and we're making change.
They need someone to boycott it. They need Coco Golf to be like
later motherfuckers. Exactly, and you know Coco Golf
is the highest paid athlete in the world for women.
So she doesn't need. That she doesn't need it.
Although also I don't want to put the weight of this on Coco's
shoulders. She does so much already.
But yes, somebody ego, somebody needs to say something.
But you. Just got good politics.
You know what, I'm bullish on ego.
So that gave me two yeah OK, but here are some other resolutions.
I'll list them out and we'll just say which ones they got to
do OK, no more gimmicks. This one point slam that is
coming up in Australia is killing me.
For anyone who doesn't know, it's a bunch of amateurs playing
against pros, including Carlos Alcarez for a one point match
and IF. You've done that before.
Oh really? And if you win the tournament,
you get $1,000,000. Oh, I'm sorry, they do that on
the squash tour. That's where I they have this
tournament and the money is like on court in a suitcase.
OK, that's kind of chic. I love that.
But but I love that. The sport has grown in
popularity, but there is a level of taste that is lacking from
all these gimmicks. So the taste level of tennis
overall has gone down. Like when you go to the Indian
Wells or the Open U.S. Open, there's just a level of
insanity and drunkenness that like, how many melon ball things
honey deuces drink. It's like 24 honey deuces that
we stuck. I'm in a big thing.
Fuck yeah. Oh yeah, you hate.
Tailgating this shit, there's all those are very expensive.
So from a financial standpoint it's not great, but like, it's
all gimmicky. I think the fans are doing it
for the gram. Yeah, one point Slam is doing it
for the gram. Yeah, I'm not interested at all.
Next resolution is I think they need to cut a cup.
We've got too many of these cups.
United, Davis, everything. I mean, it's just too much.
The one where you have Europe versus the world, which one is
that? The Labor Cup.
Yeah, that's the one I can't stand.
That's Federer's baby, and they're doing it out of respect
for him. Yeah, no.
That's a dumb ass game. No, and it and it's just like it
just like the next Gen. is no longer tracking the top people
that qualify the next Gen. the Labor Cup, when it first
started, it was top 20. Only now they're pulling in
freaking like Sarundalo, who I love, but it's just like it's
still it's it you we don't need it.
It's not doing anything. Yeah, totally.
The next resolution Revert to actual mixed double S at the US
Open. Oh Lord, please.
Like we can we can unring this bell.
It doesn't have to be this weird cult of celebrity tournament
where the actual tennis is not good.
We got to change it back. You know you went and you kind
of liked it though, right? Well, I like any sports live and
the level of the players that were on court, I was like wow,
it would be amazing if they were actually good at Double S Carlos
and Emma Radakanu were were a pair and Carlos kept running in
front of Emma hitting her ball. They weren't actually
strategists in double s and they weren't playing well.
The matches sucked to be honest and it was great.
The team that won was the double specialist.
Well, that's what I feel is the bigger problem, like is that
people who make their money playing Double S couldn't play
mixed Double S. Really interesting.
I remember my favorite player, Bianca Andreasque, winning a
slam in Double S. We're getting to the finals and
she's coming back about like those opportunities are really
being taken away. Yeah, exactly.
There's so many things that don't work about it, but they're
just doing it because they want to get the big spectacle of it.
And it's no longer a legitimate tour title in, in my mind, next
resolution. No more dating your coaches.
I'm tired of this look, I I love that Madison Keys hired her
husband to be her coach. Bjorn friend Angelo great.
I love that they were very much in love.
The rabacanas of it all these situations and it really only
happens. It's never the men dating their
women coach. It's just the the women players
end up dating their lothario male coaches.
I think that's I we got to stop it.
No more dating your coach. I mean it would be amazing if
Andy Murray dated, I believe Morezmo.
Oh my, talk about a heated rivalry.
Rivalry. Which one is the bottom there?
Oh no, she's the top. Yeah, no, Murray.
I don't what I was saying. I'm sorry.
Yeah. I mean worked out for a buck and
I should get back together a coach and played some of the
best tennis of the year. But is it because of the coach
or in spite of? Who knows?
But I just the ick factor. Let's move away from that.
It's a resolution. OK, resolution resolved.
Yeah, and the last one. Shorter tour, no more playing in
December. Shut it all down.
I.
Can't think about it. Yeah, do it for me.
If not for arresting the players.
I've said this before also, they just need to talk to any
economist. It's supply and demand.
If we are constantly being fed new things, the demand will go
down make us hungry. An NFL fan has to wait five
months for any action. They are chomping at the bit.
They are maniacs for that first opening weekend or even pre
season. We don't, we don't get any build
up. We're just like oh fuck, oh
fuck, we're OK. We're late.
We're already late to Brisbane, you know, so OK last game and
then we're wrapping up folks. It's about resolutions, and
we're calling it New Year's resolution because some of these
players don't know what's good for them.
And what we're going to do is we're going to match players to
different resolutions because the only answer is chaos.
So we've got six players and six resolutions, and I've loaded
them into our patented New Year's resolution randomizer.
And So what we're going to do is we're going to go one player at
a time and I'm going to hit the randomizer and we're going to
find out what their resolution is going to be.
So, so the players that we have are Danielle Collins, Jasmine
Paulini, Coco Goff, Daniel Medvedev, Carlos Alcaraz and
Jack Draper. Interesting.
Choices, you know, because they all need, they all need
something, They all need something.
So, but I'm not going to tell you what all the resolutions
are. So I'm going to randomize it and
I'm going to hit go. Right now it is thinking this
player will switch nationalities.
We who are the players? Daniel Collins, Jasmine Palini,
Coco Goff, Daniel Medvedev, Carlos Alcaraz or Jack Draper.
I don't know Danielle Collins. Danielle Collins, OK, what's she
going to become? She'll marry a foreigner or
something. Yeah.
Oh, she'll have like her Princess Grace.
She'll become like a manganese. Yeah, I don't think she's going
to push nationalities and play tennis.
I think she's going to marry like a New Zealand rugby player.
Oh, she, she and a New Zealand rugby player that, that tracks.
OK, the next one, well, very much in line.
This player will get married in 2026, so we're down to Jasmine,
Coco, Daniel, Carlos or Jack. Daniel Medvedev is married.
So he's. Yeah.
Shit, that should have been Danielle Collins.
I mean, they're all so young. Baby's getting married.
Yeah, well, Daniel got married when he was super.
Young oh, Jasmine Pellini. She'll get married.
Is she gay? I I think she might be, doesn't
she? There's.
I thought she was. Maybe there's a rumor of dating
her double S. Sarah, Ronnie.
Yeah, get married. Oh, my God, if they got married.
Oh, my God. Yeah, we'll have them on the
show. OK?
This player will gain some muscle this year and we're down
to Coco, Daniel, Carlos and Jack.
Daniel. Daniel Levidev, he needs to bulk
up a little bit. Did you see his haircut though?
Yes. So cute, so cute.
His dimples are popping with the shorter hair he looks.
He gets a muscle though. He he could use, he could use
just a little bit of muscle. OK, the next one, this player
needs to retire in 20260. No, we're down.
Yeah, y'all Collins, the answer to all of.
These I know I that was who I was thinking when I did that
one. But so we're down to coca.
Thinking up about switch nationalities.
Oh, maybe Danielle. OK, but we're down.
We're down to Coco. Look, this is the game.
Coco Carlos or Jack Jaaper? Jack Jaaper.
He's gonna retire this year. OK, OK, OK.
I mean, honestly, he's so injured, he's not playing.
I know, and also I don't like him so that's great.
Yeah, OK. Next one we're down to Carlos
and Coco. This player needs to get new
sponsors. Carlos Carlos.
Australian Open kit. Yeah, that's rough.
Yeah. The Yankees been doing him dirty
for a while. Filthy awful.
Yeah, well, and the last resolution this player needs to
get a new coach. Well.
And we're down to Coco Go. So we got there at the end.
We got and you know what, I see this for all of them.
I think that that each of these could change their outlook for
2026. So tuned back in in December
2020, the 6th, to see how to see what was.
Correct. Exactly.
Candle Collins defection to another country.
To New Zealand, yes. Carlos Alquist canceling his
lucrative Nike contract. Coco Goff has fired her coach,
Candy Goff. And yeah, coaches later, that
one's coming true. And what's Daniel Medvedev
doing? He's gaining weight.
You know what? Yes, I think.
I think we got them all right. I just he was getting muscle,
not weight. Well, you know, whatever he's
just going to, he's going. To different things.
He's going to just big back out. And you know what?
God bless. Actually, you know what?
I love a little pudge. I would love to see Daniel
Medvedev with a potbelly. Just 6 foot 7 and a little
potbelly. Yeah.
And you know what? If they don't keep these
resolutions, it's on them because that's resolutions are a
personal thing. But we're telling them what they
should be so. We chose them for them.
They got to do it. We did OK.
Well, you know what, Ivy? That's our show.
We did it. Huge, huge pleasure to have you
on. I'm so excited to start the year
and I can't wait to start getting into the season.
I know it's going to be a lot and you're coming back.
We're going to have some fun in store for Indian Wells and the
Sunshine Double. We'll start talking about that
soon. And then up next on the pod, we
are heading down under for all the tennis that can be squeezed
into two weeks because the Australian Open is starting in
two freaking weeks. Until then, our balls are going
back in the can. Thank you everybody.
Happy New Year and we'll see you real soon.
Bye.