It's time for let's get some ground strokes, baseline, get
some top spin that's LGBT. Have a listen.
Make some noise with the ball boys.
Hey everybody, and welcome to the latest episode of The Ball
Boys. We are the tennis podcast that
puts the mask and clay masks. I'm your host, Paul Monkle and
bring you the insights, outbursts, giggles and wiggles
of the ATP and WTA tours. And we are heading into the
final stretch of the clay season and the body count is piling up.
We've had more pull outs from tournaments than the couch
section at IKEA. And we're in for either a total
snooze fest of a French Open or utter chaos on the men's side.
And on the women's side, it is wide open once again.
Nearly anyone in the top 20 could snatch the crown.
That is if people even show up. There's been grumblings and
rumblings of a boycott of the French Open because the players
aren't getting enough of a split of the revenue.
But then we did see everyone show up for Gayle and friends,
so I think we are all systems go for Paris.
Also, since the last show, both tours took the stage in Rome.
It was a bit of a muted tournament.
You could even say it was a little flat.
Maybe even giving a little flat red.
Not to be confused with Red Flats, that assistant who
absolutely owned the Met Gala. Did you all catch that, Diva?
I need the unabashed confidence of an assistant directing
traffic outside the Met Gala. Red Flats girl, I'm obsessed
with you. Come on the show.
Or maybe I'll fly you out for the next Tennis and Tea dance.
Because yes, folks, if you're in the LA area, we are throwing
another Tennis and Tea dance. And this time it is for Pride
Month. So on June 20th, we are taking
over the entire rooftop of the Park Hotel in West Hollywood.
They have a tennis court, a pool, a full bar, come for a
hit, a dance, a drink, a dink. We're going to have tennis
themed drag, we're going to have a raffle of tennis goodies, and
10% of proceeds are going to benefit the Lal GB T Center.
So come on over, have a Pride celebration like no other.
And you can find out more information and get tickets at
our Instagram. So our Instagram is at TBB
tennis. That's at the letters TBB
tennis, the ball, boys tennis and click on the link in the
bio. Now on today's show, we've
consult our crystal balls to pull out the predictions for
what's going to happen in Paris. And to do this, I am so happy to
have this ball boy back. You know, when they come back,
you're doing something right. He is the Miami baddie.
He is the mouth of the South. He puts the Matthieu and Simone.
Matthieu, it is Matthew Coleman. Hi, Matthew.
Thank you so much for coming back.
How are you? What's up Paul?
It's always a pleasure. It's all you're always so chill
when you first come on, you're like, what's up, What's up,
Paul? I just want to, I just want to
hop on the pod and vibe, you know what I mean?
Yeah, no, we're just like vibe coding but with words.
It's been a minute though, Matthew.
Last time we had you on was for Australia, so I guess you only
come out for the Grand Slams. You're kind of like Bigfoot, you
know. You come out and you disappear
and we're never seen from again. And I gotta say, we missed you.
I mean like the slams, you know, I'm, I'm a little bit higher
budget. But catches up.
So how do you sum up your your mood for the year so far?
Would you say that you are Rosalia World Tour or Hantavirus
World Scourge? You know, I like, I've just kind
of been in my usual wave of disassociation that I in like
most years every once in a while, like popping back to
Earth. Honestly, it's usually, it's
usually tennis that is giving me some thread of joy to just tap
back into and like, remember my humanity.
Let's talk a bit about tennis. Sum up the tennis for 2026 in
three words. OK, tennis for 2024. 2026.
Yeah. Ma'am.
What decade is it? OK, how about this three movie
titles? OK.
Yeah, Maverick. You're like, you're like, God
damn it, I had a plan here. We're going.
We're going off piece. 319th century French novels.
I would say the kids are all right.
The kids are all right. OK, nice.
I feel like this year there have been so many breakouts,
especially on the ATP side. And it's it's all these players
we've known have been good for a while.
And it's like you're like, you know, they're good for young
players, but you just don't know if they're going to be great.
And it's like, man, like like Jodar Landalute, like like Tien.
I mean, we already knew like that the Tien Asans was
happening. But it's just like I feel like
it's one after another keeps having these breakouts.
I didn't know that they were going to be this good this fast
because like they have all shot up.
And I think it's a little bit of a commentary on this kind of
middling peddling 90s generation that have kind of really fallen
off. I would say my second movie
title, actually, one that I watched last night because it's
one of my favorite movies. Something's Got to give.
Great romantic comedy with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton by
the. Way Diane Keaton close.
To my heart. But something's, something's got
to give. I'm like the old man shaking his
first to the cloud on all these episodes of like, like the tour
is too hard. Everybody's getting injured all
the time, and now it's like nobody's getting paid enough.
Like it just feels like they're always going through it.
You make me look like an optimist.
Yeah, I know exactly. I kind of I kind of hate it.
Like they really are God's strongest soldiers, these these
tennis players, like despite, you know, the millions of
dollars that they rake in every year.
Third ones. It's got to got to be a wild
card. OK, Scream.
It's scream. It's got to be scream because.
You know what? I think grunting is bigger than
ever. OK, You know, they're, they've
taken away our, our disputed line calls.
I just feel like, you know, they keep standing off the rough
edges of the game. But you know what those players
can do? They can get out there and they
can absolutely shriek their guts off.
And it's, it's, it's an annoying, I'm sure it's
frustrating for the other player across the court from them.
But you know what? That's tennis, baby.
OK, OK, yeah, kids are all right.
Something's got to give and scream sums up the tour for you.
And I think that's actually pretty good summation.
I mean, I still wish you said like a porno, but you know what?
That's fine. But that's just where my mind
goes. Who's your ATP crush right now?
Who's my ATP crush right now besides Matiah who I I have to
admit it's like he comes in waves with me because man is a
frustrating watch, OK? It's a rough watch.
All the talent, all the talent in the world, but somehow
manages to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Who's my ATP cry? I always used to say like, what
about Pellegrino? He's so handsome.
But now everybody's obsessed with Pellegrino.
And you know that I can't like, I can't like the thing that
everybody else likes. I'm a, I'm a contrarian, which
is actually a really annoying quality.
My what? My last boyfriend used to get
really mad at me because he was like, I like, like I always I,
we, you know, we'd be putting on a song in the radio.
It's like, I'd always want to go to like a deep cut.
I'd always want the album track or like the B side of the
single. And he's like, God damn it,
Matthew. He's like, can't you just listen
to the song that everybody likes?
And I'm like, listen, if you want to love me, you have to
love all of me. I'm sorry.
And that's why I'm just expecting you have someone who's
ranked between 98 and 172. I've got one like the one that
has come up for me has been, and I don't know how to say his name
so clearly. We're not fully in love yet, but
Mark Lahall, the Estonian, once he cut those freaking.
Dreads. Yeah, right.
Once you like stop being Judge Dredd, like he's rocking that
Wilson kit like nobody's business.
It's in the full pink kit and it's it's something.
So I I do have one actually, I was kind of doing like my
qualies research today, just like looking at like who are
some of the players who made it to at least to like the rap
third round. And there's this this German
player named Tom Gensch. And if you picture just like a
hot blonde German, I mean, literally AI would render him.
I don't know if it's like a deep sexual attraction, but like he's
just, he's such an archetype. I was like, I'm I'm following
you. Yeah.
Oh, wow. Look at that.
You're following him, OK? Yeah, if.
I validated he's locked in. OK.
Did he follow you back yet? No.
Oh, 'cause you're playing. If he if he did, I don't kiss
and tell so. Well, and that's our show folks,
if you're not going to. Kiss and tell you're on the
wrong damn pot. OK, who is your current obscure
Balkan lady WTA crush right now? She's becoming less obscure, but
I'm, I'm big on the Bartunkova train.
I love me some Nikola Bartunkova.
I think she's super fun. I think she's crafty, has a
really big game. And you know what?
She's got that dog in her. It's like she is feisty and
like, check. Yeah, I know exactly.
Like we love a check. They all have that fight.
Yeah, you know, but no, she like, she's great.
I like seeing her and Keys battling in what I think was
what, like fourth round of Rome was like, it was hot.
Like I, I just, it did it for me.
And she, she won that match. I'm into her too.
I was, I was eyeing her first round match with him.
Boko, I still think Imboco will take it, but like, that's not an
easy first round. Well, I was going to bring this
up when we got to Roland Garris, but I'll bring it up now.
So you remember what happened when Imboco won the title in
Montreal last year. She had a four match losing
streak after she she lost first round of the next 4 tournaments.
So I'm not saying that it's like a curse of that history is bound
to repeat itself. But like, you know, there's
people get weird after they win a title.
It's like a you're tired, but like there's so much endorphins
that go through you. You take your foot off the gas a
little bit. So you never know.
Oh yeah. I mean, it is wild that she's
playing the final of Strasbourg tomorrow, you know, which is a
500 level tournament, which is crazy that that's right before
the French. But yet if she wins that, like,
yeah, that's going to take some toll on her.
I mean, she, I think she's a different player than she was
when she won. You're right, but it'll be that
one's made my shortlist of matches that I want to see.
I will be watching that. OK, We got to keep going though,
folks, because we got a lot to get through.
So I want to start off just like always with our lobs Viens,
which is the thing that made us gayer for tennis since the last
show. And there's been a lot of them.
But we got to start with that Vanity Fair spread featuring
Carlos Alcarez covered in every nook and cranny and Clay just
giving the come hit. Her look coquettishly staring
over his shoulder while the camera just focuses on his giant
butt. 1000% Clay baiting us, making us all clay for pay.
I mean, it was like absurd. The not even ripple, the, I'm
going to say it, a tsunami spread through social media.
Everyone was talking about that shot and that's kind of amazing.
He's not playing at all right now, but he still has the
tongues wagging. So that's obviously, obviously.
And for me. What'd you think of that shoot?
I mean, doing that shoot is the difference between being a top
tennis player and being a star, you know?
Yeah. Think back to to Nadal.
He did music videos. He did that, that underwear
campaign. It's like he did it because
that's what you got to do to be like a worldwide phenomenon.
I always viewed Carlitos as a little bit of a like, like an
asexual Gollum a little bit. Like I was like, he's super
cute, he's handsome, he's playful.
But it was like, I just don't know.
I don't know if he's actually like Risen, you know?
But like he has, he has proven me so wrong.
He's risen, as I say. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And he's like he's inviting the female gaze.
He's inviting the male gaze. Like I just feel like he he
wants it all. It's like, it's just like, like
one of those big trawlers in the middle of the ocean that's just
like picking up everything. Like he's, he's, he's just
saying like, look at me, this is my time.
Are you talking about his ass? This is a giant trawler.
Wow, you. Said it, not me.
Yeah, we all thought it so. A nice a nice hot trash barge I
love. It it's working on my next
birthday party. Yeah, I know.
I I totally agree. And you're right about Nadal
too, 'cause like, I'm thinking about it now.
Nadal was like flamboyant his first few years, like the
between the culottes and the Vamos's and the mussels and
everything like yeah, he was a showman.
So yeah, Carlos is is, you know, definitely following that that
lineage out of Spain. My next lobs being is maybe a
little different take, but it's just the Kunti little outside
courts at some of these tournaments.
So we just finished Rome and Pitrangelo Court in Rome is the
court that is just surrounded by naked men's butts.
You know, it's like 12 statues of Greek gods and they are
chiseled and it is amazing. And it's like, that's the court
I want to play on, not center court.
And we're heading into Roland Garros and I am obsessed with
court. Simone Matthieu You know, it's
like a it's like a four greenhouses put together.
It is so beautiful, so charming. I just, I love a court that's
like, no, I'm not the biggest, but you fucking want me?
Can I throw, I mean, this is kind of an obvious example, but
can I throw in Louis Armstrong to the mix?
Really No. Listen, OK, I, I, when I go to
the US Open, I always do, I go for a full day.
I do day session at Armstrong and I do night session at Ash.
I enjoy the Armstrong version of that.
Always heads and tails more than I enjoy Ash.
Oh, I I totally agree and I love Armstrong, but it's not the
county outer court that is sort of like, no, look at me, 'cause
it's the second biggest court. It's like, OK, like it would be
like kind of saying like Margaret Court Arena is the
county outside court. I have another Lobfian to throw
out there. Did you see when when Mutae
dropped TRAU when he lost the at the Hamburg Open?
I I mean obsessed. Obsessed.
Yeah. Why?
I still don't understand. I love the reaction of like, I
just lost a point. Pull my pants down.
Like, why did? Why do you think he pantsed
himself? Would have you ever done that?
Just like when I, when I'm having a bad day or like work,
my, my concept doesn't get chosen.
I just, well, I mean, I could be Porky Pig in it 'cause I'm on
Zoom and no one would really know if I'm being honest.
But no, I just listen. I think it's high, it's high
risk because those guys are sweating out there.
And so it's like that shit is basically see through.
If you if you really get up close, you're going to get like
a full exposure to grundle fabulousness.
And honestly, great. Did.
You see, like, so this was tangentially from another sport,
but there's a soccer match where a player did like a head first
dive and a player behind him accidentally, like, stepped on
his shorts and he slid out of his shorts and he was not
wearing underwear. And yeah, so it happens.
Like you. You got to be careful out there,
boys. But also mute.
He looks freaking great. Good for him.
OK well now it is time for twits
and that is this week in tennis. So like I said up at the top,
the big tournament since the last show was Rome, even though
there's literally 25 hundreds being contested right now on the
eve of the French Open. I mean the tours are just hell
bent on mashing in as many tournaments as possible.
I actually hear they might be starting an overnight or late
night tour just to get more stops in.
So three AM, 5:00 AM, you better get your ass out there and
Playboys. But let's start with Rome.
And I was not obsessed with Rome overall.
There was something a little sad about it and a little, like I
said, it was a little flat for me, I think especially on the
men's side, because it was a foregone conclusion who was
going to win it. So Yannick Sinner, he becomes
our Sith. I mean, 6th Lord, he wins his
sixth Masters tournament in a row, which is 2 more than anyone
else has ever won in a row. And that was only matched by
Novak when he won four in a row. But he didn't look good the last
two rounds. He didn't look good against
Medvedev. It's like that porcelain doll
that Victorian child in Yannick Center came back out, like his
dramatic slumping over at the changeovers.
I don't know. It's just it's there's something
weird going on there and I don't know what the heck is going on.
What is your take on Sinner and like where is he at or do you
even care? I like how you know how to ask
me that with Sinner, because like you, you know that he's not
at the center of my of my heat map.
No, I do care. Like, I don't think it's
anything crazy. I think with Sinner, you just
expect him to be such a robot. And and that narrative is what's
out there, that if he shows a little bit of weakness, people
get overly concerned. But like, if you look back to
the Australian Open when he was playing Spiziri, he was cramping
in Australia and it's like you kind of you're like Yonic Sinner
cramping like one of the greatest athletes in the sport
right now. But it happens.
And then what? Then he, you know, goes on
another generational run after that.
I think it's a blip. You know, I'm, I'm more
concerned about real injuries that take you out of game like
what, what Alcoraz has, but. Oh, I, I agree, but there's just
something because honestly, with Sinner, this started last
summer, like in Cincinnati, he had to pull out of the final
'cause he was sick. Like there's something kind of
like sickly and Wan about him. Like he is like that meme of
that Victorian child. He's just laying in the bed.
Like in Rome, he wasn't cramping, he was just gassed and
struck, like the way he was breathing.
And I actually thought if for a second it started to look like a
panic attack, like maybe 'cause there was so much pressure from
people wanting him to complete the master slam, get the six
masters in a row on his home turf.
But there was just something that was really like, I'm not, I
know this is going to sound crazy.
I'm not sure if I'm picking him to win the French.
I don't think that's crazy. I mean, especially of all the
the surfaces and slams, I mean the French is the one that's the
most of the wild card for him. Well, it is, but I mean, with
Carlos out, it's kind of like, I mean, come on, give me credit.
I'm being a maverick. I'm being.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you are what you're,
you're very, you're very brave. It's stunning and brave.
Paul very impressed. I want to see you.
I I need to go to your fainting couch and be like, he said.
What? This is just my, my, like,
undiagnosed autism not picking up on like, the cues that you're
trying to send me, like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I no, I get it. I get it.
Oh, I diagnosed you. Don't worry, it's fine.
You're the you're the only doctor that I care about 'cause
you'll prescribe me, you know, medications out of the back of
your van. So you're.
Just just turn to the left and cough.
Exactly. Well, other other news on the
men's side, I love when the home tournament players have big
moments. So like there are a lot of
Italians in the mix. Like even Pellegrino won some
big matches which doesn't happen for him like.
It was, it was a breakout tournament for him, yeah.
And and like carried that momentum through to to Roland
Garros, 'cause he's, he's in the draw now.
I know and he's playing Kaboli in the first round.
Rude. That's not Casper rude, but
that's just I. Was like, no, he's playing
Caboli. Caboli, who's on 1st?
We got to talk about Luciano Darderi.
I'm, you know, it's funny, I was so hot and high for him until
the semis and until what he just did in Hamburg.
But like, what a story for the first part of Rome.
Beats Paul in three, takes out Zverev in three, including
bageling Zverev in the third set, takes out Hodar in three,
bageling Hodar in the third set. And that Hodar match was insane.
Like I've never seen a smoke delay.
Like what? I know.
So I mean the things we go through as tennis fans, we've
had like killer bees, we've had, we've had smoke, we've had,
we've had like fighter jets. It's like some some cosmic force
is out there rolling the dice being like what absolute
insanity, A plague can we unleash on this tournament.
Yeah, but you know what the messed up thing is?
Those they only stopped that match because of the smoke,
because the Hawkeye could no longer see the lines.
Like, we don't care that the players are inhaling smoke or
like playing in like, dangerous. Oh, the poor machines.
Like we oh, we've got to protect the machines.
You know what? Fuck those machines.
Get some people out there, call the lines.
I was sick of those AI motherfuckers.
Dardari had a a bit of a fall fall from grace for me in the
semi final against Rude. He lost pretty handily which is
fine. He was out of gas I get it.
But that walk on with those sunglasses and he skips the sick
kid. And I love that.
The tournament had the players accompanied by kids from a local
hospital. I think it was a cancer ward.
It was so beautiful and the kids were so happy.
And he just struts by. I know he didn't mean to and I'm
not going to give him shit for it, but it just lost some aura.
I can't believe you. I literally was the one thing I
want to say about him is like absolute generational aura loss
after that because he came out so hot and then it's a flop so
bad and then the whole like the whole coffee espresso thing.
I just like like it made him look like a in absolutely the
wrong way. But I will say I will give him
credit because like, we can't I, I feel like we're talking out of
two sides of our mouth. So where we're like, Oh my God,
these players are so boring because like, look, it's very,
it makes me think of Naomi Osaka and her walk on kits or people
like Boo, burn her. She's a witch.
But it's like, you know what, at least she's doing something.
He was doing something. So like, I applaud him.
It was just it was a face plant in terms of performance.
And I agree, the coffees during the changeover break got it.
He's got to stop 'cause then he did that again in Hamburg when
he lost the first round. I honestly think that he might
have a Lavazza or Lavanza. However, you say that name
sponsorship because he made sure as he was sipping it during one
changeover, he made sure to turn it so that the the logo is
facing out. Secure the bag, Luciano.
It's like a. Hammy, attention seeking ploy
that yeah, it it look, it cost him some Bay TP points.
It he he he fell down the ranking a little bit.
It's like when Mira Andreva started thanking herself when
she won her tournaments. No, if he if he brings out one
espresso at the French Open, I swear to God he's not coming on
this show. Wait, you're not a fan of the
the Mira self? Congratulations.
It was cute. Once when she's in the next
week. Nope.
It's it's sticky. I, I like you're right, but I'm
like, OK, so I know you, I know you said that you think you
thought that Rome was boring, but like I there, there were
threads. I mean, like, like we're talking
men's, like just on the men's side, that Majedovich versus
Fonteca match. I watched the whole damn thing.
It was insane. I mean, shades of Krichikova
Townsend in in the drama that that thought.
And I'm like, honestly, kind of the shades of the whole hometown
crowd thing where it's like, I mean, well, it wasn't a it
wasn't a hometown crowd, but it felt like a hometown crowd
because the Brazilian crowd was crazy.
Yeah. They were too much though.
They were, they were doing way too much in that, like spooking
Majedovic when he was trying to serve.
And like I, I was just like, I loved Majedovich's overall run
because he's another one who is like a next gener who got
injured. Yeah, he never never quite had
the opportunity to to to live up to his potential.
But I feel like he he just he handled the pressure of that
match just right. And I feel like his Sally at the
end, like tonally was like was just right.
It just it hit it all hit right for me.
Like I actually, I didn't have like the the highest opinion of
him before. Like there's something about his
energy I just wasn't sure about. But like I'm fully I'm fully
bought in at this point. I just thought it was it was
good. And honestly, I I probably
preferred if in every tournament, either Carlos or
Yannick could sit it out and it was just one of them in there.
To me, I think that makes a much more interesting tournament
because it allows there to be like stories of of people
rising. It's like these are the
tournaments where the lucky losers make it to semi finals
and stuff. You know, it's like you get
those crazy narratives, and to me, that's what's memorable
about a tournament. I I completely agree, but I'm
going to go one step further. I actually want more tournaments
where neither of them is at. You know, that's why I think
A500 and A-250, absolutely. Slap, slap.
I'm going to say this. I don't like our top ten right
now. I'm not intrigued by anyone in
our top 10 for the on the men's side, women's side, tons, men's
side, Boo. But like from 10 to 50, I'm
loving these guys, the new guys, the fighters.
Like the old guys who have like fallen a little bit, they're
like hungry to get back. It's like it's all interesting
to me. I love that, but like, what
bored me was just like the sense of inevitability of, fine,
you're all having these great stories and these great
rudescences and these runs and whatever, but you're just being
led to slaughter. We're just going to kill you at
the end anyway. It's like the Dread Pirate
Scott, where it's like, well, we'll just kill you tomorrow
because like, you just knew that Sinner was going to win.
It's a tough time for the tour right now and I but you're
right, like there are there are glimmers of hope.
And also, I do want to be clear, I love Sinner's game and I love
his personality. I'm just bored because when
there's no tension, the only tension is, is he going to pass
out on the changeover? Like when there's no tension in
tennis, I get really bored when I'm not like, oh, who's going to
win? So.
Yeah. There's one question on the US
citizenship test and to become a citizen you have to pass and the
question is name 3 instances of Yonic Center displaying a
personality. I think that he is so charming
in his unimportant interview. OK.
Shut up, Paul. He's so charming.
I think he's so charming. That's one.
No, like he's joking with like I love his relationship with
Carlos. I think they are so funny and
cute together and like adorable. Yeah, but is that Carlos and
like Yonic just kind of? No, I think that Yannick is
actually, I think he's very jovial.
I think he's got like a very like he's reserved on court.
He is a bit Robakana ish, a little bit robotic, and it's
almost scary how good he is. I think that that's like what
makes it hard to root for him maybe sometimes, but he's never
once been a Dick, which I'm going to say that as a
personality trait. He's not a Dick, which on this
tour is easy to be like, well, that guy's a Dick.
That guy's a Dick. Like, he's always nice, he's
polite, he's fair. He is, he's warm.
I mean, I've never seen him do anything wrong, so I like that.
His absence of bad qualities makes him a personable player.
I like, I get it like. Bionic Sinner.
I'm just going to say I like him.
I like him, I like him. Like he was like notably at Gael
and friends, like people like him, the players like him.
I don't like it when we have a villain who is the leader, which
is what I had often times issues with Novak when he was so
dominant in the early twenty 20s, you know, like 2122 when he
was winning everything. It was just like, we don't like
this guy, but he's the best in the world.
I want the best in the world to be people that are good people,
good guys. No, you know what?
Honestly, I'm with you. Love pink lover.
And that's a deep cut. Amazing.
Unfortunately the other news coming out of Rome though was
just like, besides some people continuing to get sick, like
Novak was sick, Mahaj was sick. I don't know if they like found
some extra shrimp tacos in Madrid and shipped them over,
but we have added some more Bay TP mainstays to the injured
list. So Moussetti was fighting
valiantly to come back. I mean, he really must have
tweaked something in Australia because he has been out for most
of the years since Australia when he was up two sets over no
back. And so he's going to be out for
a while. He's going to be out at least
through Wimbledon. So is Carlos Holger Rooney,
thank God, is not coming back as soon as possible.
I. Know, I know.
We have Jack off. Jack Draper is what?
Come again? Come again?
What'd you say? Jack Draper is off for a while
and I'm hearing whispers that Arthur Fees might not be
playing. I've I've heard the same
whispers. Word on the street is he has not
really been seen practicing at all since he secured that
injury. But he's he's on the grounds at.
Roland Garros. I read somewhere that like,
yeah, he went to his practice session and didn't pick up a
racket. So something is going on A.
Good sign. Wait and who his?
He's against Favrenka first round.
Which again, how dare they some I know Mother Effer was like,
no, I'm going to cause some drama.
Like why put not my stand, my Shayla?
So I have a question for you. I was thinking, OK, these guys,
they've got to fill their time. You know, they were free time
coming up. And so, of course, I was
thinking about James Bond because in case you haven't
heard that we are casting a new James Bond, folks.
Not we meaning the ball boys, but whoever owns the film
rights, there's going to be new James Bond.
And I was looking at some delorious awards tuxedo photos
and Mousetti and Carlos, like they all looked so good in a
tuxedo. And I was like feasts in a
tuxedo. And I was just like, I think
some of these guys could play James Bond.
So my question to you, Matthew, between these five injured Divas
of Mousetti, Carlos, Rune, Jack and Arthur Fees, which one is
going to make the best James Bond?
OK, I'm going to give you a second runner up, a first runner
up and then the the queen, the queen who gets the crown.
So I'd say second runner up is Musetti, just because he's just
so goddamn handsome. Like he's got the looks.
He looks good in a suit. Like, you know, I, I, he'd look
great on the poster. I don't know if he's got the I
don't know if he's got the rest of it, but he's got that.
And so let's give him credit. Then the first runner up is
Draper A because he's British. I mean, it's like it's kind of
like tends to be a key casting qualification.
I think he's a good guy, but I think he's a little bit of a bad
boy too. I know, I know Felix Ozra
Aliasim would agree with me. He's he's got the looks like I
can see him smoking cigars in another world.
I feel like he's got that mystique to him.
But to me, though, the real answer here, the only one that
even really comes close is fees. It's got to be Arthur Fees.
He's debonair. He's got that that mischievous
wink in his eye. He's got it all.
I like, I think, I think he would absolutely kill as Bond.
I think he would be the best James Bond by a mile.
I agree. I agree.
I don't agree with either one of your other picks though, so
you're wrong and you lose. A harsh time.
Because Jack Draper is so clearly a Bond villain.
Like, come on, that motherfucker is in a layer somewhere, like
painting women gold. And you know, there's just like
he is a villain, like, in a good way.
If you listen to like any of those Tennis Channel or like
AATP social media interviews, whenever they they are like
asking about Jack. People always say he's the
nicest guy on tour. Like, like everybody says, like
says like he's literally the night.
He's like the nicest guy on tour.
He has them so scared. He's that maniacal.
Oh my. God, yeah.
He's like, he's like spitting in their oatmeal in their morning
and like. Mixing up?
No, we love Jack. He's fine.
It's like, Oh my God, we love Doctor now come on, come on.
And then #2 is clearly Carlos, he's got like that Playboy
element to him of like, you know, he's going to shag
everyone on that film set, even if they're not in the movie.
So he's like, yeah, but he would.
He would shag them like a dog humping a leg.
I mean, he's a puppy. No, he's, he's grown.
He's come into himself. He's.
Different. Yeah, yeah.
And then I think Holger Rooney has the like tortured side of
James Bond, that he would be a really good character study of
James Bond. So.
So those are my top three. So I'm sorry you didn't win, but
you came close. Any others?
Because then I was like going down a rabbit hole.
This is what I was doing with my time this week, besides planning
the latest tennis and tea dance. Everybody come.
But then I was like, I think Casper Rude would be an amazing
James Bond. Come on, him in a tuxedo?
He has, he has the looks, but it's like he's a guppy, you
know? He's not he's not a Barracuda.
He's changed. I I would go in a totally
different direction and like this, this may be like a weird
wild card to throw in, but I would honestly say Fabio Fanini
is very is James Wanco. I mean in a very like Sean
Connery way. It's like almost like like super
handsome, but like leathery tanned, you know, like he feels
like the adult in the room a little bit.
I I could see that 'cause he's he definitely has like the bad
boy elements to it for sure, but I think rude.
So I rude is actually like really grown on me lately.
He's he went he's he's no longer a guppy.
He's at least a minnow, if not a trout, so he's.
I listen, Guppy is not a bad thing.
I love Casper Rude but I love him because of his guppy
qualities. Well, when he's saving the world
from the latest laser beam from the moon, you'll think
differently. What about the WTA?
So I was like, why don't we just absolutely make half of the
country lose their mind and go with Haley Baptiste?
'Cause. She would be a boss.
James Bond. I I I like I legitimately see
the vision for this. Oh.
She's cool, like she is cool. Yeah, yeah, so and people would
go crazy. Well, OK.
Well, hey, Paramount Pictures, whoever owns the rights.
I don't know who owns the rights to anything.
I'm sure everything is just owned by Halliburton or Tesla,
but whoever owns the rights, these are some James Bond ideas.
Do it the way you will. Let's talk about the woman real
quick though. So Svidolina takes the title in
Rome. Elena Svidolina, she wins Rome
for the third time, but the first time in like 8 years.
She's famously been a mother for a few years on tour and she's
really like changed her game. She beats 3 top five players on
her way to the title, Rebecca, Nash, Fiantec and Goff.
The first player in Rome history to defeat three top five players
and ripped to the trophy. What do you think of Skitty?
I mean, we've talked about this before, like she's not my
personal favorite player out there.
I don't know if I am like usually just vibing with her
but. I don't like Guy El Monfise's
wife. I'm sure she's a lovely person.
I like, I mean her her game is her game is good.
She's a very talented, but normally when like when I like a
a a player, especially on the women's side, where I feel like
craft is so much more of a part of the game.
I like players, right? They have a very ownable style
or they're just like super adaptable or they're, you know,
like a like a or something and like Spitalina is just one of
this place. She's kind of good at everything
and like this is not, you know, damnation by fame.
Praise like this is like significant praise like she is,
she's an incredible player, but there's no one quality of her
game that I'm like in love with. So she just kind of clears my
radar a little bit. But I'm super impressed by her.
She is a true top five player and and I feel like she could go
higher than that. Like she's got, she's got the
goods. And I also have to say, and
maybe I'm over interpreting something or reading into it too
much, but like the fact that Gael, who's the coolest dude on
tour, yeah, was like, no, you're my wife.
Like she's got to be cool. She's got like she's got, I
mean, come on, like she's, she's got something that maybe you're
not seeing because only cool girls get married, so.
You know, you say it's a boring tournament, but it's like we got
we got Kristia going far, we got Osipenko making the quarters
we've got was an epic match between Goth and Andreva.
Like, great match. Liskova out of nowhere made like
a crazy run and and, you know, almost has brought herself back
up to the top 100 after being like ranked 800 a few months
ago. So I'm like, man, like I'm
looking at these matches. I'm like, these were good.
This is a good tournament. Hey I hear you in what you're
saying in terms of like stats and results maybe.
But like watching this fiance matches I was so bored because
she was so dominant to over Pagula and Osaka and everyone
until she lost. Honestly like look I love
everything about Coco except most of her game because it is
hard to watch these errors and the serve Shanks were like wild
in Rome and I was just like what is going on?
I mean, it's it's crazy. There was a stat that someone
said that this year she has a winning record after losing the
first set. Crazy.
Like that's amazing. Her mindset, her will and her
ability to not get down on herself is great.
But the form like, you know whose game I love to watch
Baptiste, you know, like that, like I love watching like it's
solid. Coco.
I'm like, what's going to happen, you know?
I know and like, listen, nothing impresses me more than the
ability to win ugly, but that has to be during a dark night of
the soul for your game. It cannot be your game.
And and that's what's starting to be scary.
It almost feels like this is like 2 years going now, you
know, I mean like back when there's all those double farts,
double farts had a few of those before.
Well, when those all those double faults started, which I
think was like 2024. It's it's kind of nuts to watch.
And yet she wins. Yeah, she pulls it off.
Yeah. Nevertheless, I know the last
thing we need right now is another diversion here.
But you've, you've made me realize what has been actually
like a pretty powerful frustration for me with
professional tennis the last year and a half, I would say, is
that the players I love, like, as I said before, it's because I
love, I love to watch their game.
I love their flair. I love their finesse.
The players whose game I like to watch are not the players who
win. And like, something has shifted.
They used to win. They used to win enough.
They used to do OK. There was one.
There was one every tournament who would make a deep run.
And like, that was thrilling to me.
One of that is Kazakina. You know, I love watching her
play. She used to always be able to
beat the people who she was supposed to be.
Like, even if it was winning ugly, she would beat the people
who are ranked below her. And then, you know, a year ago,
that just stopped happening. And I feel like that's a symptom
of something greater. Yeah, no, it it's a really good
point. And you're making me think about
also like so Kazakhina vocally joined the 2025 tap Out club
last September where she was like, I am burnt out.
She didn't say that, but like, basically she was like, and I
think you're making a really good point.
The tour is so long and grueling that it is taking a toll on
players that and maybe they're players that are more of like
the grinders and the grounders and whatever.
It's like, yeah, like people aren't keeping up and like the
tour is wrecking these people's careers.
One more person, though, that I do want to talk about real
quick, though. Well, two people is Sabalenka
losing to Christia. So Sabalenka, this was her
earliest exit from a 1000 since Rome of 2024.
Sabalinka's not. She did not have a great clay
season. I don't know what to expect from
her. Like it's a black box for the
French Open. Christia, she became the oldest
person to ever have their first number one win by beating
Sabalinka. This is supposed to be her last
year. I'm calling it now, Serrano
Christia is going to pull a Danielle Collins and do another
year because her ranking is so high.
She's reached a career high. In what world are you not going
to at least enter every tournament, every Masters and
Grand Slam and pick up a cool $1,000,000 by losing the first
round of 10 matches? But next year, like there,
there's no way she's retiring. Am I wrong about Christia?
No, I I think you're, I think you're totally right.
Finally, you agree. The thing is, I mean, it's not
it's yeah, her, she, she's had an amazing season and her
ranking is incredibly high now. But like, she was actually doing
fine like last year or two. But she was kind of like, really
like treading water. Stuck.
In the middle, she's she's like pretty dominant this year.
It's cool to see. But listen, not to be too
cynical, but I do think that her bonus year is probably going to
take the course of Collins where it's like lightning struck at
the perfect moment. And then you you kind of revert
to default settings. Like it just it's hard to to
sustain that level of adrenaline and that that commitment.
And especially once you know that you know you're really like
giving the pageant wave, find your way out.
Yeah, yeah, but like who's not going to take $1,000,000?
No, I'll take it. Yeah, seriously, where's my wild
card? I'm not worried about
Satellinka. Like I think it's just like bog
standard injury stuff, you know, she had like a lower back
problem. Yeah, I don't know.
I'm, I'm just, I'm not, I'm, I'm not picking her to win Roland
Garros. I'm saying that for.
Sure, I'm, I'm probably, I'm probably not either.
But you know, again, will you be surprised if she does?
Yes, I will be surprised if she does there.
Are you happy folks? We do have a new Bay TP out
that's kind of like the preview slash post Rome Bay TP.
So going over to Instagram, check it out again, that's at
TBV Tennis. And while you are there, pick up
some tickets to the tennis and tea dance.
So the second slam is starting this weekend on Sunday.
And so it is time to break down what is going to happen in
Roland Garros, in the beautiful city of Paris with our crystal
balls. But before we do that look,
there is no time to take a break from looks maxing, if I've
learned anything. And so Matthew and I, we each
have a clay mask that we are going to now put on our faces
for the rest of the show. And then we have to end this
show before these masks dry up too much and crack our mugs.
So I have a PEP care, barrier repair, calm clay mask because I
need all of those things. Wait, Doxy doxy pep care.
Yeah, it now comes in a clay mask.
Yeah, wow, they're really coming up with all sorts of innovations
these days. I I think we're, I think we're
not just look looks maxing, we're looks matching because I
have the exact same thing. Oh, I thought you had a
different color. Oh, yeah, you're Oh, no, I do
it. Yeah, I'm blue.
I. Guess.
It's kind of grey. You just want to wash me out.
Yeah, exactly. You're too tan.
You actually like, you look like you know what you're doing.
What are you putting it on the the brush and then brushing it
on? I have absolutely no idea what
I'm doing, but I yeah, I'm putting it on the brush and
brushing it on. Now just so you know, this is
for external only, so no putting it in your mouth.
Well, I feel very Joan Collins right now.
Not Joan Collins. Joan.
Joan Collins. Wait.
Joan of Arc. Betty Davis, Joan Collins.
No. Betty Davis, Joan.
Oh, Joan Cusack. No, Joan, the other one.
Crawford. Crawford Yeah, I feel very, I
feel very Joan Crawford right now.
No wire. Coffee.
Tea. Me.
I'm going to assume that we're talking about the same Joan.
Don't fuck with me, fellas. OK, well, we both have our masks
on now, so we are ready to do the rest of the show and it's
back to the tennis. And so first, the players are
making a real stink about boycotting.
They're like, we're not going to play French Open this year.
It seems like now at most they're going to be boycotting
the pressors afterwards, limiting it to 15 minutes to
represent the 15% that they get in shared profits.
I'm a I'm all about symbology and symbolism, but like girl.
It it feels like a very anemic protest.
Let me just put it that way. It's like very half assed, like
Reebok, you know, was like was like, I'm not really doing the
protest, but she's like, but I support the players and and
Radhikano was like, why wouldn't I want to talk to you guys for
more than 15 minutes? Like I'm just happy to be in a
slam again. I'm like somebody, somebody on
Twitter is like. Yet like she found somehow she
found another way to be on the wrong side of history.
Yeah, exactly. But you know, Morezmo, Emily
Morezmo, the boss baddie of the tournament, tournament director,
she basically said the same thing that she said about women
playing prime time when it came to increasing the revenue split,
which is no, which is French for no.
She's like, no, like you're not getting more money, You're not
getting women in prime time. Just deal with it.
The ATP, which is like actually the profitable tour, I love a
couple years ago when they introduced the baseline program,
you know, this sort of like secured salary for players.
I think it's like top 250 or top 2300.
And there's different to your levels, but it's like to help
make sure that there's kind of a, a living wage for, you know,
anyone who's like competitive on tour but don't like that the WCA
doesn't have that. So it's like, Oh, yeah, I do.
I do think that there is a real risk for certain players who
just are not really making any money out of this whole
experience, you know, and they're going to be like dumped,
dumped out ten years later and they're going to have been
ranked world #90 you know, for 10 years.
And, and in any other sport, if you're like one of the 90s best
people in the world, you'd be a millionaire.
Yeah, but what a story. I would love it.
If I did it for the vibes. If I spend my 20s, like toiling
on the tour, I wish that was my story of my 20s.
I don't know whatever that's. Just you're, you're like, you're
like, these kids need to pull themselves up by their
bootstraps. Sack up, but the draws are out
and so I want to talk briefly about some of the popcorn
matches for the first round 'cause there's a lot.
I pulled out a bunch on the men's and women's side.
Let's start with the women, though, because the one that
jumps out at me and the one that I'm just like, what are you
doing, Baptiste versus Krajikova?
Sign me up, I'm so sad. I can't wait to see it, but
like, Oh my God, I think this is the first slam that Baptiste is
seated at and it's like to go through all that work to get
Barbara Krajikova like this is horrible for her.
I I don't know who's going to take it.
I think it's going to be close, but I can definitely see a lot
of worlds if if Barbie's not injured, she she snatches that
one. Yeah, I mean, you know that I'm
the assistant vice secretary of the critique of a global fan
club. In my dreams, it's an extremely
competitive match. In my dreams, just because I
love I miss BBQ so much I would love to see her I'd love to see
her take it and make an yet another deep run because there's
just no one I like seeing come out of nowhere like I like
seeing Krichikova come out of nowhere and just take the whole
damn thing. You know you say if she's
injured, I mean she's injured she's kind of permanently
injured these days. It's like she didn't have her
her leg wrapping on in her last tournament.
I which I was I think was a like a 125.
She made the final, but she looked injured.
She hits a point where she's not moving as well.
So I'm I'm going to just wait and see what happens.
But I'm, I'm with you. I hope that our that our dreams
of it being just an absolute barn Buster come true.
Because I think that their styles match up really well
against each other and. And but they're, and they're,
they're different like like Baptiste is like, is like a
crafty power player. I feel like Krichikoba is a
powerful craft player. It's, it's like compatible
enough to really go toe to toe, but like different enough that
it's going to be fun. I I I I love your instincts on
this one. I'm excited.
But then of course, we've got Townsend and Coco, like, again,
some mother effer who's not randomizing these draws is like,
oh, oh, I'm going to put these two against each other.
Yeah, I know I could. See, I could see Townsend taking
that. Oh, a hundred, a hundred
percent, 100%, especially first round because like, I feel like
historically, like when, when top players like go out early in
a slam, it's first round because you just they don't have a, they
don't have a chance to, to get their momentum and find their
game yet. Yeah.
Are there any women's matches that you are eyeing?
I was looking through the draw today, like I was really
studying it and I feel like like Jovic on paper has a very tough
draw in the first couple rounds. But like, I very much see her
coming through it because she's playing against Iola first
round, which is like, and like, that's a cool narrative.
You know, these are two kind of like like young upstarts.
I see Jovic taking that one and then she'll either be playing
Navarro or Janice Chen, which I'm like two players that I also
feel like are like very interesting players.
I don't think any of the any of those three are particularly
like hot right now. They're not.
They're not on a tear. So I see joke.
Navarro's in the final of Strasbourg.
That's true, but that's like. But she hasn't played anybody.
No, and and like I actually, I feel like because I know that
she's had some injuries and some physical issues, which she's,
you know, she's been very transparent about.
I kind of wonder if her having just played a full week tennis
is actually going to work against her a little bit at the
French Umbocca versus Bertunkova.
I know we we like mentioned that like I'm very, very curious
about that one. I see Osorio beating
Alexandrova. I think that's actually pretty
uncontroversial. Drova has fallen off.
Osorio is one of those players who like.
I've watched a few Cami matches recently the past few months and
like, she has added power to her game.
Like she is not the player I remember watching a couple years
ago. I wouldn't be surprised to see
her like, you know, make it a little deeper than you expect.
I I think the last thing I'll say is that who I really who I
expect to go pretty deep here is Peyton Stearns.
So she's playing Kenan first round.
Oh, she's taking that on Clay. She's taking that.
And then if she gets the seed in the second round, Towson, Yeah,
on clay. I mean like literally like she's
getting exactly another. One like, where's she?
I know well, and this is this is I think by far her worst surface
too. It just doesn't see her GameStop
at all. Well, and I have another round
three match up that I think is interesting.
It's Ostapenko versus. Fiance.
Oh my God, of course. How?
How could I say that? Yeah, how could you forget that?
There's like, there's such good memes going around that on
Twitter. It's so good.
I like Ostapenko on the phone with with Marismo being like,
yes, yes, Emily, yes. Round three.
Yeah. Sounds good.
See you there. Yeah, that works for me.
You know what Asapenko is like the new James Bond and she's
just been given like a new assassin target and she's going
to snipe Shiantek in round 3. Asapenko, she's.
She's legitimately my favorite player on tour right now.
No, you're lying. Why would you lie to me in the
mask? Like who should my favorite
player be if not Ostapenko? Look, Ostapenko is great, but
like, she never wins and like, I'm tired of seeing that.
OK. She's actually had kind of a
good year this year, Paul, no. She doesn't want to turn like
she doesn't complete it. She never gets to the finish
line. Are you actually saying I'm only
allowed to to like players who win tournaments?
Yes, and also she's a one note player.
She doesn't have Plan B. She.
Doesn't hit. She's a slam winner and oh so
now. The qualification is a slam
winner. I thought even after like
winners. But OK, now we're just fighting.
Listen fighting. I think, I think that like the
kind of redlining she does, the kind of shot making she does,
where she will hit these blisters into the absolute
corner of the court, like, I'm sorry, I think that's
impressive. Like, sue me.
Oh yeah? Well, you'll be hearing from my
lawyer, but we got to move on. On the men's side, I feel like
there's a lot of crazy first round matchups.
We talked a little bit about Arthur Fees and Stan Vavrinka.
I hate everything about that match up.
I love both of them so much. I don't know who to root for.
I am going to have to root for Stan though, and I really want
Stan to wear the shorts that he wore in 2014 when he won because
that was such a crazy look, just like us in these masks.
I just watched the the Kylie Minogue 3 part documentary
series on Netflix and they reminded me of the gold hot
pants that she wore in the spinning round video that like
that really like were like kind of like rode up on her on her
ass and her cheeks were hanging out.
I hope I want stand to wear those shorts.
OK, Bold. I think that's a that's that
would be an interesting way to go out.
I don't know if he's that type of I feel like Carlos Zalkaraz
would be wearing those on his comeback tour, but you know,
we'll see. Well, what do you think about
Zhang versus Prismich? I'm very excited about that.
Zhang, the college kid who made it to the Australian third round
and everyone's like, oh, is he going to take his prize money or
not because he's still playing in college.
I think that they both represent again, two very next Jenny guys
that like I feel like I feel like they're both going to be
bringing all of their weapons and this is going to be a a
slugfest. Imprismitch definitely has like
riding high from just beating Novak but like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's going to be I'm
I'm, I'm intrigued by that match up.
I'm intrigued by it too, like because I feel like these are
true players that to your point, we'll be seeing a lot more of
going forward. I mean, I like, I love
Prismitch's game style. Dudes a wall.
Like dudes a wall. Like he will.
I mean, he is very Novak coded in a lot of ways actually.
But like, I feel like he's been, he's been gestating longer.
So I sort of expect, I expect him to be the one to come out of
that one. But it'll be a fun match to
watch, yeah? What obscure North Balkan ranked
130th player in the world are you excited about in the?
God, I mean on, on the, that's kind of my, that's my secret on
the women's side, on the that's my special sauce on the women's
side. On the men's side, I don't know
so much, but I will say like Jaime Faria, the Portuguese
player has Chapo first round. I expect Chapo to lose.
I think, I think it's going to be Faria.
I think he's I think he's had some quiet momentum that's been
building, made it through quali. So you know, he's he's tuned up,
he's ready to go. I think Colin Yan is going to
beat Bukich first round and then I think he'll beat Shelton
second round. I'm like, I'm, I'm a big Korean
booster fan. I just like his nose.
I think he has the sexiest nose in tennis.
I. Love his nose.
I, I like, I'm, I, I'm, it's a, it's a work of art.
It belongs in a statue. But he has La Hetchka first
round, which you would think, you would think like, oh, like
he's not making it through that. But remember, La Hetchka lost
first round last year. Yeah.
In French Open, I think, I don't, I think he was like, I
don't think he was at his best. But I don't think clay is really
a surface. And honestly Clay's not PCBS
either, he's a hard court dude. But like, I don't know, I just
like La Hedgeka is so good when he's good, but then randomly he
just won't show up. Crap so.
I agree, I I was eyeballing that one too.
Like Karina Busta and he no Bautista Agood is the one who's
retiring this year, but I think Karina Busta only has a year or
two left so. The only other the only other
match like really intrigues me. The one, the one that like has
me on the edge of my seat is it's kind of random, but Altmire
and FAA, because I, I think that's going to be a close one.
I, I honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if that's two, if
that's three tie breaks and I wouldn't be surprised if he
looks loose. I need to say it.
It's and actually let's let's transition into making some
predictions. It is time for us to put the
whore and Oracle and Matthew, I want you to grab your crystal
balls. All three of them, all three
years smalls. And we're going to make some
predictions now. Who's making the deep runs?
Who's crapping out? Who is going to win it
ultimately? And every Grand Slam, we have to
have this conversation. But there's always someone who
craps out early on the men's and women's side.
You know, for the French Open, I also subtitled this as who is
this year's Taylor Fritz? Because famously last year
Taylor Fritz was ranked 4th at the French Open, which is not
accurate in terms of being the 4th best clay court player in
the world. And this year FAA is ranked 4th.
And I don't think that FAA is the 4th best clay court player
in the world, but it's fine. He's ranked that fine.
But I agree, I think he's definitely on the chopping block
to the crap out early. He's my kind of number one
option in terms of top five top eight players.
I have a semi controversial one for like a top 20 player, which
is I actually feel like Casper rude could fall out earlier and
which is which is controversial because he's he's he's got
momentum. He's been doing great and Clay
is a is a surface as he's great on, but I just have this weird
instinct that if it's not Majedovich who takes him out
early, that I actually feel like Saffulin is is is coming.
In the first round. I, I just again, so I, I think I
overweight what I perceive as like someone just coming off of
a tournament right before a slam.
So I feel like they're tired and their body's kind of broken
down. And I feel like rude has had
physical issues before. And so like I just feel like if
he comes in at all compromised in these long ass matches, like
anything can happen. So, so this is I like to, I like
to come in with like. I completely disagree, but I
think it's I, I, I applaud your, your hotspot.
I think what I'm learning on this show is how much you hate
Casper. Rude.
I love. You've done nothing but shit on
him and downplay his ability to be James Bond.
I'm going to, I'm going to say this again, Paul, that I don't
think a player's ability to win a match is is not even in the
top five things that I value in them and that I find appealing
of them. It is not a a knock against them
if I don't think they're going to win a match.
The next show, when we do our recap of the tournament, first
of all, I want you, I'm going to have you issue a public apology,
but then I want to get a full listing of these other five
things that you care about more than winning.
But we'll we're going to save that for the next show.
So I'm going to throw a dart out there and I'm going to say I
have 3 darts. I'm going to say Busi over
Rublev. I'm going to, which is like, you
know, not that controversial. No, but that's the I like that
one. I agree with you.
I think Bonzi takes out Sverav in the first round and I I hate
to say this one, but Seigman. Seigman over Osaka.
I just I think it's happening. How many more like witches
curses does Seigman have left in her in her bag of tricks?
She's the what's the what's that woman from weapons?
Gladys. She's the Angel of the of the
women's tour. Aunt Gladys Seigesmond.
OK, you know, we never learned at Gladys's last name.
Maybe it's Seigesmond. It might be well there.
Well, there's going to be a she's going to have her own
movie. So and.
It's taking place on a tennis court.
I feel like there's less likelihood of some upsets on the
women's side. The women's side has been much
more consistent than the men's. I feel like we're going to have
a pretty straightforward first few rounds on the women's side,
and then the third and the fourth round is going to be
bazookas out and everyone's going to be hunting.
For each other, well, round 3 is my favorite round.
Round 4 is my second favorite round.
Like those are the best rounds of the tournament.
And like it's literally just like a Great Wall of tennis.
It's like you turn, you can turn on the TV and there's like a
match on all day. Whereas on the men's side, we're
going to have at least seven or eight people in the third round
where it's like, who the hell is that?
Which American man is going to make it to the fourth round?
1010 I think he has a a great draw.
I am also going to give a mild, like a 3% chance to Tommy Paul,
just as he's playing well in Hamburg right now.
But yeah, yeah. If Shevchenko takes up Mickelson
in the first round, which I feel like he could, and then he gets
either Bazaf already or Fritz, I feel like he has a really good
chance of making Round 3. I just, I love like Alexander
Shevchenko, like going deep in the slate, like, this is the
shit I live for. This is like, like I play the
heel. I'm like, I'm like the one who's
getting dirty looks because I'm cheering for the wrong player at
a match. You How do you think Medvedev's
going to do? I I am not optimistic about any
of my lanky, lanky men. Him and Bublik are, I think, not
long for this tournament, unfortunately.
Well, there there's there's an X Factor that we haven't talked
about, which is there is extreme heat predicted for this
tournament, Francis having a heat wave.
So and like and Medvedev, Medvedev hates the heat.
He he Wilts in the heat. I like hate to see it, but it's
just it's one more chaos agent like entering the chat,
disrupting everybody's expectations.
But think about Medvedev. It's like, yeah, I think the
conditions aren't right for him to thrive, but he does have a
good draw. He's got Adam Walton first round
and then either Poprin or is Vasta, is Vasta, is Vista.
Yeah, I don't know. Who if you don't follow him on
TikTok, he's like the cutest tik toker but.
Is he OK? OK, well I don't even I don't
even have TikTok download. I'm boomer coded.
Well, I'm young, so yeah. Yeah, sure, Jan.
Yeah, I do like that section that you're talking about,
though, because that's the section also where like Gael
Monfise is. Like, I'm wondering, does
Monfise have a run to the fourth round lift in him?
Because Sarundello is the other seated person in that part.
And like, I love Francisco Sarundello.
He's playing like crap lately. I don't know what's going on
with him, but he's just not dialed in mentally.
Like his match that he lost to Moussetti was so bad in Rome.
So I think that there's a real shot for someone to make a run
here, and I think it could be Monte.
So yeah. We've seen these players,
especially in the WA side, WTA side, be liberated by the lack
of expectation. You know, they don't, they don't
have to worry about getting the points.
Like they know they're on their farewell tour.
I mean, it does light a fire in the weirdest way, so you never
know. Yeah, yeah.
And you play free, although he's never had an issue with playing
free. But yeah, on the women's side,
which American woman is going to go the furthest?
That's a that's a great question.
Thank you. Like I said, I like Jovic's
draw. I could see Pagula doing well
even though again, slams are not exactly her calling card.
I mean like Baptiste is a fun name to throw out, but I don't
know. Well, this is also more like
just like vibe coding, like based on the clay season.
I don't know if there's an American home like, oh, they're
going to take it, but also. I'd say I'd say Pagula.
I'd say consist, consistency queen.
I think there's a lot of chaos in the air right now, and I feel
like someone who's just kind of mentally locked down is going to
be a superpower. I don't think it's going to be
Anasimova. I mean, I don't really see Clay
as her surface anyways. I was just looking at her like,
is she another candidate for crapping out in the first round
or second round? Like where has she been?
Yeah, I don't know. But the thing about Anasimova is
that she's got a pretty easy draw, like to the fourth round.
The highest ranked player she would play is Lee.
Yeah, but like the French is where you get these like, like
Antonio Rouzich will go on a tear or like, you know, yeah,
yeah, we're going to have a a storyline like that.
It's like a a Schmidlava storyline at the at the
Olympics. And I love it.
It's like we need like the rando queen like every year 1 rises
and every year I have no idea who it's going to be.
Rando Queen is my grinder name so thank you.
OK, last few questions. So come to your head.
Who is going to win the men's tournament?
Center. I'm going to say it now, and I'm
going to say it with my full chest.
Casper. Rude.
Really. Yeah.
OK, both. He is in a zone and.
I think it's, it's like I think he's going out Round 2 and you
think he's going to win the whole tournament.
I like, I love, I love this. I love this actually.
I, I just feel bad for how wrong you're going to be, but you
know. Listen, no.
You have a much higher chance of being right than I than I do I.
I fully own that. No, don't you know what?
Don't kiss up now. It's too late.
Who is going to win the women's title?
Barbora Korchikova. Barbora Korchikova.
OK, OK. Well, I'm sorry, Haley Baptiste.
I feel like you're lying. I don't think you mean that.
Who do you think is really going to win?
Look at your crystal balls, get them out, rub them really hard
and let us know. You know what, let's say Mira
Andreva and it's it's more it's kind of a process of
elimination. It's like I feel like M Boca
might be tired. I mean like we're back in AI.
Just don't think that like she's fully in command of her game.
Sabalenka. I see her making like the semis.
Maybe it's like who's left? Who Coco Coco.
Like I'm sorry, I know Coco just like just won the French, but
like I just can't say she's going to win it.
I can't I just can't like see all the pieces clicking into
place. So you're getting.
Close. You're getting close.
Can I tell you who's going to win?
Yeah. Jessica Pagula.
I mean, OK, yeah, well, I said I think she's going to go deep,
but. I know.
No, you're. And yeah, yeah.
I was like, I don't know why you're forgetting about her.
She just doesn't do well in long tournaments.
I mean doesn't do well she she makes semi.
She does she runs great but I'm but I'm saying she but she runs
out of steam. I don't think it's that she runs
out of steam. I think that she's had to just
learn how to play those matches and she's gotten better and
better and better, and I think that her game is going to really
match a hot Paris with a bit of like a crazy vibe in the air.
I think that this is her time because also I think that this
is like the last year of Jessica Pagula relevance.
So it's got to happen now. That's the story.
And so that's what's going to happen.
So when we reconvene in two weeks, we will talk about all of
that and more because Matthew Coleman, that is our show.
It's been fantastic. I feel like we're barely here.
I mean, it came and went so quick.
It came and went so quick. That's what she said.
The masks are dry. We've got to go take these off.
But Matthew Coleman, thank you so much for coming back.
It is always a pleasure. And everyone out there, buckle
up. We are in for something is going
to happen in Paris. I don't think anyone really
knows what. So enjoy it, have fun.
We'll be posting a lot on our Instagram.
That's at TBB Tennis and we'll be back in just two short weeks
with a recap of all of the hits, misses, giggles and wiggles from
the French Open. And until then, our balls are
going back in the can. Thanks y'all, bye.