Hey everybody, and welcome to the latest episode of Ball Boys.
I'm Paul Moncalm, one of your cohosts.
And as always, I'm here with Billy Hanson.
Hey, Billy, how's it going? Oh hey Paul, it's going.
It's going really well, right? Yeah, before we I want to know
all about why it's going well. But before we start, I just
wanted to kick off with a joke. OK, knock knock.
Who's there Boo Boo? Hoo oh, what are you, a Novak
fan? Yes.
Yeah. Well, also, are you someone in
the crowd who has cheered against Novak because he's going
to look at you and be like, boohoo all fake tears, crocodile
tears. Yeah.
You know, people must use the term crocodile tears a lot.
They cry when they're eating, which is something I relate to a
lot. But but yes, they are fake tears
and and it's all boohoo for you know who Mr. Djokovic lost
today. I can't wait to go out to dinner
with you later and see you ball. I drew the meal.
Are you spelling that BAWL or BALL because?
I'll be. I'll be balling later.
Depending on the course it's going to be, the spelling will
change. Well, I just, I don't know if
we're able to get a reservation. I feel like the entire city is
going to be celebrating tonight. It's like World Cup I've.
Never felt this kind of energy in Los Angeles.
Ever. People were actually walking on
the streets. People were saying hello.
Yeah, Oh, on my drive over, on my drive over to your place,
Paul, I saw a guy and he was driving in the car right next to
me in the lane, and he had his left leg dangling up and out of
his window. I'm not even kidding.
Yes, his. I think his right leg was
handling the accelerator on the brake, but his left leg was up
and out of the window. That is LA right?
That is a power move. People are so pumped they are
going nuts. So I think another thing that we
learned over the course of this the Wimbledon fortnight is the
importance of stretching. So maybe this person was just
continuing that he was doing like some some crap in his car.
Was there anyone else in the car?
No, not that I could see, but. So considering the, you know,
there might have been someone below a window below deck, as
they said, all right, well, we have a ton to talk about today.
Wimbledon just wrapped up earlier this morning or
afternoon, depending on what time zone you're in or what time
zone you think you're in. I am so jet lag.
My body is doing things to me that it should not be done to to
any good Christian. Well, do you feel better though,
now that I've given you a massage?
A prepod massage? I do.
Actually, I yes.
So much. You've been away for so long.
You've been away for 18 days and you have to admit that during
your absence. My massage skills have improved.
I I look, I give credit where credit is due.
I am not just a hater. I'm a hater on.
A lot of things are not just a hater.
And yeah, no, I I mean, yes, I've been gone for 18 days in
order to see one day of tennis in London worth it, 1000% and I
can't talk already about it. But yes, you gave me the
greatest massage yesterday. Thank you.
You you are welcome. What's your secret?
Well, I'm there may be a shelf of Thera guns outside of Barry's
boot camp, and I may have swiped 1 and that you.
Had it. I may have used it on your
glutes in lieu of my hands, but you didn't know.
No, I I I didn't. I.
It felt like a fist. It smelled like a fist, but I
guess it was a Thera gun. Yeah.
And so thank you for your sponsorship.
Send us Marks thera gun. We'll use it in all the wrong
ways. And Barry's.
I did not actually swipe A Thera gun from you.
They're going to. I've swiped other stuff.
Not a Thera gun swipe right? So yeah, it's I was at
Wimbledon. Have you been to Wimbledon?
No, I haven't. But have you been to the World
Team tennis matches at Randall's Island?
No, I haven't. OK, so you know, tit for tat.
I guess we're even. So I yeah, so I I've been to
Wimbledon now and Billy's been to Randall's Island.
It was, like I said, just an incredible experience.
Everything you have heard about Wimbledon is true, so let's dive
in and let's just start out with our shriek meter for what's been
going on. So we haven't had a an episode
since Wimbledon started, so we can't cover the entire
tournament, but we will do our darndest and just to sum it all
up with our shriek meter, right? What is our shriek meter?
Yes, Yeah. Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, yes.
And I'll have what she's having. Yes.
So that was the reenactment of the famous faked orgasm scene
from When Harry Met Sally, when Meg Ryan showed that she could
have an orgasm or not. And you wouldn't know, I did not
just fake that orgasm, though I want to be clear.
That is how I feel after the men's final.
I think the full body quiver, shiver up and down my Timbers.
I am just. I don't have the word.
Still. I'm still processing what we
just saw and the hope that the the, the nation and the world
has been given. We believe in God.
We have our leg. Dangling out of our windows as
we drive every window I've got. The the I believe in the future
of humanity. Honestly, I believe I can fly.
And and and yeah, that orgasm was so real.
It was a religion. It's like a prayer, honestly.
I feel like. I feel like I'm dancing in front
of a burning cross. I I mean, look, I fake my orgasm
with you most of the time, but that what you just saw over this
zoom, that's the real me. Not with the fair gun.
Last night you weren't faking that, you put, you put it the
setting on. Oh.
And you had to you had to tell me where your pariformis is, and
it apparently it's. It's deep inside your colon semi
colon. So OK, let's we got to jump into
the winner circle. So we have folks, a new supreme
today. Carlos Carlitos Alcaraz beat
Novak Djokovic in five sets in a very weird match at times, lots
of ups and downs, a lot of scary moments for people who believe
in goodness and and also lots of scary moments for people who
like Novak Djokovic because it was just up and down.
There was momentum shifts left and right.
But you know, maybe think like we have a new Supreme.
It was a barn burner. It was a it was.
I mean, it was so long I I watched it live.
I had to sleep in and watch it on DVR, but you know, well, no,
with with my jet lag, I was up at 4:30 and the coverage started
around 5:00 and and I was watching.
I was like, oh great, it'll be done by 8:30.
I can go to Pilates. I can see the girls.
I can get a latte. No, bitch.
I was watching this until 11:00 AM and I was like, I have to
pee. I didn't pee the whole time
because I was like, I've gotta watch this.
Yeah, no. But like, there were people who
paid $31,000 for a seat to that match and it was like, I don't
know, but now I'm like, we should have we.
Might have been worth it. Yeah, yeah.
Again, As a veteran Wimbledon attendee, I'm practically a
member of the Oldland Tennis Club at this point.
But it be seeing everything live, it was it was different.
I I can't. I can only imagine people must
have been losing their minds over this match.
Well, I I I'm glad you weren't there because the cameras would
not have known. Do we?
You know. Look at Brad Pitt.
Do we look at Daniel Craig or do we look at Paul?
You know, like they wouldn't. There would have been too many
celebrities to spot. So one of us is known by just
one name, Paul. It's just like that season.
Remember that season of American Horror Story Coven?
Did you watch that? You know, American Horror Story
is generally something I watch with one eye closed, The brown
one. Well, so, so in Covent it was
all about witches and it was about this coven of witches.
And a new Supreme came, and the old Supreme aged and got weaker
and eventually basically dies when the new Supreme takes
place. And I saw that happening during
this match over the course of five sets.
Novak, he start. It was like Picture of Dorian
Gray and he suddenly he was just aging and it was like Benjamin
Button. He was just getting like his
backhand didn't work the last two sets and he was just like
falling and then he almost like hurt his wrist.
And Carlos was just growing in strength and just becoming this
amazing, beautiful, which. I mean, I I would agree that
Carlos definitely burst to supreme manhood during this
match, but. One thing that is actually kind
of crazy about Novak is that we kind of haven't seen his age.
I I didn't really even see it during this match.
I mean, I thought he was going to take it in five.
And you know, Murray, Federer, Nadal, they've all at this age
started to have physical ailments that have really
stumped, you know, prevented them from winning more titles.
And Novak, so far we haven't. Seen it, You know, get that tape
on his leg. He had that tape on his leg.
He had that nanotechnology on his chest is yeah.
And we found out. We finally found out that that
little it's actually just a. It's a corn remover.
It's a corn remover on his chest, which you know, it's
great. Good for him, cuz that was as
you get older, you get corns. Especially between your packs.
Oh my God, people think it's a third nipple.
I mean, look, I, I, I saw a rapid deterioration in his back
end from sets 3 to sets five. I actually was not that worried.
I was worried that maybe Carlos was going to get in his head and
get really nervous and get, you know, just kind of like, you
know, Sinner it up like the way Sinner did in the semis, which
is like, oh, you had your shots and you just couldn't, you
couldn't step up the moment Carlos just stepped, like, but
Novak opened the door. Novak was no longer getting the
drop shots. His backhand had no power on it.
And honestly, I do think that he really hurt his wrist when he
slammed his racket like a little plug baby against that post
because then he was shaking his wrist for the next two games.
But. We all we we make choices.
I I do think that you know Novak though taking the 4th, I felt
like it it it could have been a a sad.
Narrative of Carlos kind of challenging Novak, but Novak
asserting his dominance. But it was not that narrative.
It could have been, yeah, nice showing, good job Carlito.
Let's get him next year. But no, he just got him this
year. And you know, I loved it cuz the
entire tournament. So watching live again in case I
didn't mention I I went to Wimbledon this year.
Paul, we're going to have a whole segment about you going to
Wimbledon and like all your experiences and you know how you
got to like, meet Princess Kate and all that shit.
So we're going to get there. I know, I, but I just want to
say that seeing life like so. Novak has no crowd charisma.
This is why I don't think he can ever be the GOAT, because he
just and and we saw it yesterday or sorry two days ago in the
semis, we saw it today. He just antagonizes the crowd in
a way that I don't see. It's it's like everything that
we learn about what it means to be a hero and a leader and you
know a proud American does not come through.
And Novak Djokovic, because he's just he either pretends to cry
or he yells at the crowd, or he mocks the crowd like you don't
do that. Or he's like, cheer for me.
Come on, that point wasn't enough.
That point was only so, so, like you're not going to cheer for
that. Like, come on, you don't.
If when you're asking to be cheered for, you're, you're
already in a compromised position.
But society in general reveres accomplished athletes.
Yeah, we cut them a lot of slack.
They just have to kind of meet the bare minimum.
And no, back hasn't even met the bare minimum.
He he keeps just fucking it up and you know, he's an incredible
player. I'm going to give him that the
way he came out against Danwa Brinca when he knew that he had
to win. In less than two hours, if he
was going to not have to play back-to-back days and he just
dommed, wabrico was wasn't impressive.
It was a bit of a bop for me. But like, absolutely.
I mean, one thing that's crazy is like, we've got Serena, we've
got Federer, we've got an adult. It's great, but.
The two technically most winningness winningest,
winningest players in tennis. Winliness players in tennis,
Novak and Margaret Court are really fucking problematic.
It's an interesting it makes me wonder like what sport do we
like here? We're like, the two goats are
Dicks. It's unfortunate, it's weird.
But I and I was worried that we were going to come on air today
and it was going to be this kind of, like, sad, somber sort of
repeat of the French Open. Because we have to say, like,
yeah, Novak's a great player. Like, yeah, he's a great player.
He is a great player. Fine.
And you know what? I hate to say this, His ass
looked great. All of Wimbledon, those shorts
they were, they were hugging in just the right place.
And So what? Good for you.
Good for you, Novak. But you know what?
We don't have to say any of that.
We don't say anything nice about him at all because he didn't
win. Are you saying you'd sleep with
Novak? Absolutely not.
But I will look at that butt. No, absolutely not.
You if you were like Paul, please, just like No, he
wouldn't say like that. Tell.
Tom, you don't want to sleep with me.
What? No, no, we're going to shut
this. We're not going to debate this.
And also I'm married so do not question.
No, I just thought Tommy might give you, you know, what is it
called? And you have that one like
celebrity celebrity that you can sleep with your what you know,
indecent proposal. Look Novak is no rubber Redford.
I am Demi Moore. But back to the match, back to
the final today. So thinking about some, there
were some pivotal points and there was that pivotal game.
I mean, we have to talk. I mean, so everyone's going to
talk about that game. But there was that game in.
It was the fifth game of the third set.
I think it was the longest game ever.
It was actually longer than some WTA sets, which honestly I don't
hate. It was also longer than some ATP
sets. I think it was 2827 points where
I I I really didn't think that Carlos was going to break him,
but he did. And it was just there were a lot
of epic points. There was, but it was just one
of those things where it was like, I was like, Oh my God,
this is like Isner Mahout, which when I was there at Wimbledon
actually took a photo of myself at that court next to the plaque
where I was Mahout and a giant tree was Isner.
The tree was running across. But I was like, wow, this game,
this game might not end because they were not.
No. For one point I was like, Oh no,
that's just like conceding. He's done.
But then, no, he wasn't. And it just went on and on and
on. And that was Carlos.
Won that and it just was like, well.
Seminal. It was a seminal moment, really
seminal. I didn't see that on the TV, but
when I was live I saw that, yeah.
Well, OK. So what about the women's final?
Oh, right, there was a woman's final.
Yes. So look, it was rough.
It was really, and and it was very much in line with kind of
the tournament overall. It was, like, just kind of
disappointing. No, no, no, no.
For me it was look, I don't look, do not, do not tell me how
I feel. OK, the final was a dud.
It was a dud. It was not a dud.
No, it was not a dud. Marketa played great, but I just
felt so bad for ONS I I'm a big ONS Jiberniak and she it was
hers and I think that that pressure got to her but she just
she she, I mean was she tired from the four previous rounds?
Was she just too nervous? I wouldn't say Marketa played
it. Great.
I would say she was really solid.
Really solid? Well, that's all you need to be
to win on the WTA. Sorry to say it.
The most solid player wins on the W.
TA Disagree. Disagree.
I did feel though, that the person who wins the most sets
wins on the WTA. Is that fair?
The person that gets the most, the most matches into the court
wins. It's percentage tennis that you
always talk about. ONS beat Sabalanka, Rebakana,
Covidova, Andre Escu. I mean, she really earned her
spot in that final. And I did feel a little bit like
when Marketa made it a match. ONS was kind of having a a pity
party. She was like, wait, this is my
time, this is my moment. Why is?
I don't know. I'm not saying that ONS wasn't
giving it her all and she wasn't fully invested.
I'm just saying like, she felt a touch bratty and I'm an ONS fan.
But it it felt her. Her attitude felt a touch
bratty. It felt a little bit like, is
the narrative about Ons's failure.
No, the narrative is actually what Marketa's writing, which is
that, hey, here I am. I've been to the friendship and
final. I am a silver medalist at the
Olympics and hello, I'm. I'm going to make some cash and
change my life. And it's a real it's it's like a
cute story. It's a cute story.
But I'm not saying it's yeah. She, you know, is going to get a
new tattoo today with her, with her coach, which is great
actually. I realized like that was the
secret to her success was her tattoos.
So. Do you remember that show Prison
Break? Oh yeah, with the the who's in
the actor who became gay or was gay all along.
Well, look, things happen to you in prison.
So everyone leaves prison. Yeah, no, Wentworth Miller was
incarcerated on this show, and he was tattooed famously below
the neck so that you could still see his gorgeous face.
But the tattoos held the secret way out.
I think Marketa's tattoos were her game plan because there's no
other way to explain some of those tattoos.
It was like one, one of them is a lob, like it's clearly a line
that goes up over her shoulder. There's another one that is
about rushing the net. I mean it was, it was clear.
So, like, I think that she's just putting her game plan on
her body point, Marketa. Absolutely.
But look, I like, I don't think. I don't think ONS is being a
brat. I think ONS was a little off.
And I think that she succumbed to the pressure of the moment,
just the way that she wept. I mean, she had her Nevada
moment during the the ceremony. So for anyone who doesn't know,
in the 90s, Yana, Nevada famously was runner up at
Wimbledon and was so heartbroken and crestfallen that she wept on
the shoulder of some Duchess. Do you remember who it was?
Duchess of Kent, I forget but 19. 80 three She was up, I think
4 won against Steffie Graf and yeah, she sobbed.
But then in 97, she won. Yeah.
Yeah, and I do think that ONS is ONS was already sort of coming
around even during like the interview.
She's like, no, I'm, I'm going to be back and and I think she
is going to be back, but it's just like here's the thing.
So she and Casper Rude now have both been in three of like the
last five finals as runnerups. She is not the Casper Rude of
the WTAI. Do not believe that at all.
If anything there, she's more than Andy Murray of the WTA or
the the Kim Kleister's. She's the she is the female
version of Kim Kleister. Yes.
Yeah, No, she she has it. She has it.
And I think she's going to put it together.
But it's just like. This was, you know, it's so hard
to have those four really tough matches.
And what she did in the semis was incredible.
Her comeback against Sabalenka, like, I thought she didn't have
a chance after she was down in the second set after losing the
first, it was like, OK, next bring on, bring on Sabalenka's
next fucking victim. And no ONS really like that
turnaround. That turnaround was pretty
impressive, no? It was an impressive run for ONS
and I don't, I don't know how many more chances, frankly she's
going to have. She's 28 or 29 at this point,
but. I bring her out back and shoot
her in the leg. Is that what you're saying?
I will say that, yeah. The last, the, the final and the
semis of of the women's tournament were a little bit of
they didn't excite me. Did you have an orgasm watching
them? No, but no.
But there were moments in the middle of the women's tournament
where I was absolutely transfixed.
Titillated. Yeah.
Like, like, I think it was Thursday of the first week.
We had bench playing Collins, we had.
Vekich playing Stevens, we had Leila Fernandez against Garcia
all at the same time, all three set matches.
There were some great, great matches in the women's
tournament. I'm just saying the ending was a
little bit of a kind of huh. It was a it was a dud Yeah no I
mean it was it was one of those things where absolutely so so I
don't know if I told you this but I was there and so I was
there during that time I I was there for the Friday, the 1st
Friday where because of all the rain.
Everything had been so backlogged and and you know sort
of like a the toilet after the black party it was just
everything was stopped up. But yeah there were there was a
lot of great action in that middle park.
But the the whole tournament like the fourth round, the the
quarters, the semis with a few exceptions Dodsville and and I
was not. I was, I was it was, it was hard
it was hard to watch some of it and you know so now we've got
another. First time Grand Slam champion
in Vandrusova Vandrusova. How would you say it?
I think it's Vondrusova. I heard about four different
pronunciations over the course of the of the commentary in the
final, but I believe it's Vondrusova.
And you know, one one thing that I love about the Czech players
is that they support each other so much to where they're like,
I'm not going to hog too many victories.
I'm going to let my compatriots win some.
So we, you know, look of a, you're going to have a run at
the French Petra. You're going to take Miami
Barbora, you're going to win the French back in 2021 and then
take a moment. Let's take a Yeah, you're going
to, you know, everyone has their time.
And I. Who do you think's going to have
a run at the US Open? I think it's.
Going to be Buscova, Buscova, Okay.
Yeah, that's my money. Who do you think?
Who are you going to say? I think it's going to be one of
the Fervertiva sisters, Linda or Brenda.
The furiosas, Yeah. So you were gone for 18 goddamn
days, Okay. Yeah, and how many times do you
go to Wimbledon? Well I have memories for a
lifetime, so I don't know how to count that high.
But no it was it was one day. Look, I I I traveled steerage.
So nine days. How did you get there nine days
back? I walked, I forest gumped it for
a little bit and then I was on a little tugboat for a little
while and then I hitchhiked. And then a a nice I heard you
were in the Chunnel for a prolonged period.
Well, I was looking for that submarine, yeah.
I thought it was in the channel, so so you.
So you eventually, after about what, 7-8 days made it to
Wimbledon? It was.
It was, yeah. I showed up.
I was unwashed. I was disheveled and like God
dream. G'day I'm here, Pip, Pip.
So you you fully became Margaret Court when you arrived?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Well, that was the only way I can get in.
It was, yeah, yeah. I was like, I'm on center court,
OK? So I'm going to be honest, OK.
I'm a little jealous. Yeah.
Never been to Wimbledon. And it it does carry a certain
mystique. I want to hear about your
experience on the grounds. Can you tell me about it?
Yeah. Oh my, wait, can you tell me
about it? Did you know that I was there?
Would you be willing to speak a little bit about that
experience? I don't like to.
I don't like to show off. It's a little tacky.
So I learned this when I was at Wimbledon that you don't really
want to be too ostentatious and showy.
It's about, it's about what you don't say as much as what you do
say, but I'll tell you all about it.
So it was, I mean, look, it was incredible.
So there was insane. Rain delays for the first part
three or four days of tournament, so I was there on
the Friday and the Friday, July 7th.
Right Friday, July 7th and you had center court seats.
Center court seats and I still don't understand.
I still don't understand how exactly like tickets are doled
out. I mean, there's this whole like
lottery thing and a queue and a this and a that.
And my friend Matthew Paluch got two tickets and he's just like
come and I was like okay and so I.
But you know, I blame it on. Blame it on Matthew, I mean.
I blame him for everything, to be honest.
Well, what was he like as a Wimbledon companion, I mean.
He was great. So he's a he's a an avid but
newer tennis fan. So he's he he got into it during
the pandemic. He has been taking lessons and
he just he's really into it. And so I was like, sure, I'll
come over, why not cuz yeah, like you said, Wimbledon, it's
just this, it is the hallowed grounds and and it was fun to
see it through the eyes of sort of a newcomer.
We went up with a friend of his and his friend was like, oh oh,
I love the Wimbledon. And and it's not because that
was being charming, but because it's the French Open and the US
Open. It's the Wimbledon.
But, you know, I love it. At times he was like, oh, it's
30 zero. Or, you know, he's like, let's
go, Sam de Dinka. And I was like, oh, Stanva
Vrinka, Sam de Dinka. And then we were like, oh, we
can just, so we were like, oh. We're going to see Carl Alcatraz
play against, you know, it was just like it was, it was fun.
But, you know, we knew what We knew what we meant.
Yeah. Listeners, if you're new to
tennis, welcome. Be wrong as much as you know.
Be like that was a great If you're talking about a rally,
refer to it as a volley. If you're talking about a
volley, refer to it as a rally. I don't give a fuck.
Welcome, welcome. Absolutely.
Bring it on. No, I mean your your words to
live by are be as wrong as possible as often as possible.
Which is a weird tattoo. But I I saw you at the Eagle
last night. It was wrong as possible.
Night. Yeah.
So. So you were you were in center
court. My my question for you is like,
there were times where I was watching and, you know, the
commentators were blabbing and the crowd was, you know,
clapping. I was like, OK, you know,
Wimbledon's moving right along and then all of a sudden it was
dead quiet. The crowd just goes absolutely
silent as the players bouncing the ball did.
Was that pin drop? Was that true?
Oh, it was. So you can't probably tell from
an accent work, but I'm, I'm, I'm American.
And it was really hard to be there.
And not cheer the way I want to cheer, which is a lot of
excitement, a lot of clapping. Especially because I saw Joe
back play Bavrinka. And Bavrinka is famously one of
my favorites of all time. And I was cheering very loudly
for Stan as much as possible. But it was one of those things
where it was so quiet and so respectful.
The only time people would cheer, sort of out of order, was
if the ball kid caught something.
Oh my God, those ball kids. I know.
Well, we'll talk about that in a second.
But yeah, but yeah, it was, it was so polite and yeah, you
couldn't hear a word. And the court, you know, the
court itself was really interesting.
I think it's it's my favorite sort of stadium court that I've
been to because I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know.
Well, I haven't been there. Well, I have not been to
Randall's Island World Two tennis, so maybe that's as nice,
but but the size of it. So I really enjoyed the size of
this court because I feel like, especially like Arthur Ashe
Stadium. Too big, too big and normal.
I've almost never said that in my life.
It's Ash is terrible. The acoustics are awful.
Ash Barty. The acoustics of Ash Barty's
Baby too. Big congratulations Ash party,
by the way, for for baby number one.
But. Ash Stadium.
I hate it. The acoustics are bad.
The air flow is bad and it's just like you're kind of up
above and like looking down. It's just there there's, you
know they they're saying of like there's not a bad seat in the
house. Like I think Arthur Ashes only
bad seats. The court here.
So we were on row W, which I can't count and say the alphabet
at the same time because I'm so jet lagged.
But 22. Row 20.
Yeah, 22. And we were far enough away
where we could sometimes that you don't want to be too close
at a tournament because then your head is just going back and
forth and back and forth. And it's just like, it's kind of
cool. Like if they sweat on you or you
know, or if you just like reach out and kind of like tickle them
but. Otherwise it's not great to be
down there. And so we were whether we were
under this underhang though. And so the thing about Center
Court that you don't really see is that there is this massive
overhang. Above the court that is like
covering probably 2/3 of the seats is just as massive
overhang. It was like that time you got
bangs. Do you remember that?
Should I take my hat off and show you my current bang
situation? Oh my God, you do like currently
have bangs. You currently have been.
So you look just like the center court at Wimbledon right now.
OK. And now you and you just close
the roof by putting the hat back on.
That's exactly. Yeah.
So, but it was weird because it
was so it's very dark under this overhang.
There's no lighting or anything. And then you're looking at this
bright sort of center of the court called center court.
But it was like my eyes kept needing to adjust.
Like I'd be looking at the match, then I'd look down and I
like couldn't see, you know, what I was eating or, you know,
what I was doing down there. And it was like, it was kind of
like being at the Eagle last night, you know, when you're
like at a club or a bar and it's so dark.
Can't see what's around you. Like your eyes have to adjust
and it's like can like like like, you know, I'd love to
watch, but like, I couldn't see anything.
Oh, that's when I show up. That's right when I arrive.
That's I'm very successful in those types of environments
where where you can't quite tell what's going on, you can't quite
see who or what you're. Doing when you unhinge your jaw
and you're just you're there. Yeah, it's Billy.
And but so that was that was that was interesting and it was
also it was funny because like you said so it's pin drop quiet
but the only thing you would hear every now and then is like
a shot a champagne bottle popping.
And this guy next to me, he kept buying bought.
He bought 2 bottles so it's like he bought a million but he
bought 2 bottles. The first one he popped and it
boom straight up hit the ceiling and came back down.
It made such a noise. So, like, as Americans, so we
were kind of, we were outnumbered there.
I'm surprised that we got out there alive.
But you know, my friend Matthew and I were both Americans.
I was like, oh, it's a gunfire like run, because we're, you
know, you hear that in the States there, they're like it's
it's own. I thought you saw Casper Rude
losing to Liam Brody. Honestly, I couldn't tell you
which one's which well. I was.
Floored by the I So I didn't see this live when I was there.
But when I was over in the UK, as they say, I we we saw the
Casper Rude Liam Brody match and it was it was so confusing and
I'd never noticed they look exactly alike like they were.
It was. I have to say it was kind of
like the most meaningful. Representation of homosexual
relationships that I've ever seen on screen, you know,
because, like, because we like to date ourselves.
And so it's like, speak for yourself.
I I don't want to date myself. I like.
I you you date up, it's true. I mean, there's no there's no
real option for me. I don't.
I can't really date down so. Bottom Yeah, you know, it's
tough. It's tough.
The only way is up. But, but but they were.
They were twins. And I'm not talking about Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Danny de Vito twins.
They were twins. It was, it was so hard to watch
because we were like, wait, which one?
Wait, who just won the point we had to keep?
And when they shook hands, it was like Parent Trap.
It was when Lindsay Lohan saw British Lindsay Lohan and
they're like sisters. It comes in the family.
I mean it runs in the family. Well, I'm, I'm just so glad you
had a good time. Did you have any strawberries
and cream? Did you get in the queue?
What happened? It was so yes so the the I want
to take a moment to talk about the L, GB, TQ and the queue is
in in London and another parts of the world that means the line
and there was a line for everything.
It was actually. It was from my least favorite
part and so very civil. Very civil.
But it was sort of like we
wanted to get strawberries and cream and it's like, oh, here's
the cue for 30 to 45 minutes. And I was like, what?
Are you serious? 30 to 45 minutes for
strawberries and cream. Yeah.
And so so are we waiting for Splash Mountain.
I I was waiting for fresh cream, I guess, and maybe Liam was
tired, I don't know. But I so my friend Matthew and I
as as. As the other type of Q in L, GB,
TQ as in queer, we were like, no, we are not waiting in line.
We had, we had moments of like move, I'm gay.
And so we just went to the shortest lines that we could
find. You know we were like in the
haggis line. We were in like the condom line.
Like it's just like stuff that nobody wants.
Wait, what's haggis again? Haggis haggis is like a a sheep
stomach or sheep's lining or OK, so same thing as a condom
basically. What is it?
The condom. So, so another fun fact in the
UK they use the full sheep so you've got the you've got the
stomach to eat and then you've got the sheepskin for condom and
so so it's great. So we made some balloons and we
we we ate, so we ate like the off brand stuff and I did get a
a bit of strawbers and cream it was pretty damn good.
I do want to talk just a little bit about I think I am the
definition of a spoiled sport. So I saw.
The greatest lineup of tennis players when I got to go because
of like all of the crazy scheduling and because you know,
night, the night match rarely finishes because also on center
court they start tennis at 1:30 PM.
Insane. If you're trying to get all the
matches in start at, start at 12 because.
There's a curfew let's. Let's just start at 111130, get
four matches in. Let's.
Do it, or at the very least get three in, like if you can't get
3IN. Which is again one of your
mottos. If you can't get 3IN, you're
doing something wrong. And so, so, but because of that,
we saw the first match of the day was Carlos.
The second match of the day was the finishing up of Serendi and
City Pass. Then it was the Serendi.
Serendi And then it was Egos Viantek.
And then it was Novak and Valvrinka.
And this was the first time ever that Center court hosted the
number one and #2 men's players on the same day because they
just had to. They had to squeeze them all in.
And so I was like, oh, damn, like I'm seeing the number one
women's, the number one men's, the sort of expected number one
men's, the former number one men's, the three time Valvrinka
champion. It was it was the best lineup.
I I I was like I can't believe. That this is what we get to see.
Because it's a because there were days where the lineup
sucked because, you know, they would put like Katie Bolter on
center because, you know, she was the Brit.
And it was like, OK, great, but like we saw the best players in
the world. And that was, I mean, I I have a
question for you, Paul. What did you do in a past life
that was so honorable? What did you sacrifice to
deserve that lineup in this? Time.
And sacrificed a virgin. I don't know.
I'm just I, I, I look, this is, this is one of the things where
I'm like, wow, I'm going to remember this forever.
And it was really nice of them to have Iga Fiante play third
out of fourth because that was the exact time we had to go take
a break and eat. So it's like it was.
Just like a wonderful break, a way to break up the action.
Although I did see your place and she she played well.
But you know Iga, Iga tumbled out in the quarters.
But. It was great watching Andy
Murray. I mean so the crowds very polite
but when it comes to their sort of hometown or sort of cross
county sons and daughters, they get very into it.
And so seeing Andy Murray in 60 plus play was was great.
And so we were we were yelling out a lot like, come on,
Serende. Come on, Serende in our, you
know, our best Scottish brogue. And the the Brits around us,
were they? Were they?
Actually, I think they found it very charming, maybe the first
two times. But then I didn't realize that
there was a comma in there. So I thought we were just
saying, come on, Sir Andy, Grammar has always been one of
your. When I sacrificed my grammar to
get there, but it was it was great to see him and it was, but
it was heartbreaking so that we saw the second-half of his
match. So he came in up two sets to one
and he almost took the first sets when he came back out, but
he lost that and he lost the 5th set.
There was a real sadness to his press conference.
I wouldn't be surprised if this is his last Wimbledon, not
because his injuries are going to be so bad, but I think.
I think he's going to start accepting that he probably won't
have many runs left in him other than winning like some
challenger events. No, If he's going to have runs,
he better wear some green panties, I'm going to say.
And are they, are they going to be branded AMC?
Of course, of course. And I was like, wait, what does
the AMC stand for? Is that the movie chain?
I was like, where's Nicole Kidman?
Like, like if this is an AM C spot, like she needs to come in
and be like, heartbreak. Feels good in a place like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, center court, Wimbledon
heartbreak. Feels good.
But I I got to say, I'm an Andy Murray fan, just like you.
But I'm not going to be too sad when he retires because A, he's
had a great career and B, he's been prepping us for a long time
for this moment when he retires because we've seen such a public
and steady decline. And I I never want to force
someone into retirement like Andy Play as long as you want.
But it's for me. When he retires, it's going to
be like, okay, It's not going to be like, Oh my God, shocker,
like devastated. I'm just going to be like, you
had a great career, kind of like Venus, you know?
Yeah, yeah. Did you see her first round
against Vidalina? I saw, I saw a little bit of it,
but it was one of those things where you know she she got
injured and like screamed like bloody.
And also that was another thing, seeing it live, the number of
times people fell and screamed like they had just snapped
something like permanent or saw you at the Eagle last night,
Yeah, yeah. It was.
It was Second ring. Yeah, I mean, I hear you.
I did because I agree. I don't think that Andy is going
to achieve much more. I think he'll, he'll get to the
third or fourth round a couple more times and he'll he'll have
some some flashes, but I don't think he's adding to his resume
at this point. And so it's kind of like what's
the point? Yeah.
So that was kind of like the overall Rep So one last little
thing like. So as our namesake, so we are
the ball boys, the ball kids, which I don't know if we call
them kids because you know, they're, they're the ball teens,
the ball tweens, whatever. They are the ball tweens.
Did you just say? Well, they're not kids.
They're not like 8 years old. So the the ball kids that we'll
just call them kids for now. Disgusting.
The ball boys and girls. What?
I don't know. I don't know how to say it in
any other way, but they need to chill out at Wimbledon.
They. We're so uptight.
They stressed like OK, it's it's tense out there on center court
as it is. Their movements are like so
trained and it's in some ways impressive, but it's also
overkill. It's like guys it's not about
you like you the way. So they would like send the
balls down without caring if someone else, if the if the ball
person that they were throwing it to was busy or not.
He was like. Like really fast throwing it
down and their movements. One time they almost ran into a
player because they were in their way of getting to their
spot and it was like guys guys it's okay like just take a
breath and but no they can't because their job is too
important and love how the pervy camera people would like zoom in
why on the ball kids like zoom in on their.
On their netrified eye nostrils yes.
And like they're they're like between acne and their oh oh
God. And you know they're they're
they're they're desperate hope for just not to fail and.
But they fell as much as the players, so they failed all the
time. Like they were literally falling
all over. It's because they're running so
fast to their spot. Run, run, run, run.
And they fell on the On the day that I was there.
I don't think I mentioned that I went there yet, but did you go
you you went there? I was there, that's why I've
been gone. And they fell at least five
times where it was like, OK guys, like I thought it was like
a once in a like blue moon blooper.
No running on, sprinting all out on grass for 10 meters and then
stopping. You're going to fall.
And it happened all the time. Like guys, I mean.
Chill out. You saw Gen.
Alpha live. You got to see Gen.
Alpha. OK, we have to change that name.
And if that's what the ball boys have to do, we're we're not
going to just do the the alphabet because what's next,
Gen. Beta?
No, Bitch, No. It's Jen Ball boys or nothing.
But Jen Alpha is not like no, no, no.
Before, before we get used to saying Jen Alpha, we need to
think of something. So by the next episode we're
going to have three options. Yep, Yep.
OK, well, let's take a breath. Oh, my God, I'm.
I feel like a ball boy. Just I guess I'm a ball boy.
I'm exhausted. So yeah, let's take a little
break. All right.
And we're back, everybody, and we're going to move on to some
of our flops and bobs from Wimbledon overall, because even
though I was there, I was only there for one day and other
stuff happened throughout the tournament.
So we're going to cover a few other things.
You. Were there wait, did I not
mention I was? I was at Wimbledon.
Oh, I saw a picture of you there and you were wearing a tshirt,
Paul. Is that Wimbledon appropriate
attire AT shirt on Center Court? I was wearing a very chic, yes.
Yes, it was in the style of a T-shirt art, but it was a
stripe, horizontal stripes which I can pull off being a a waif.
And it was. It was a nice color palette.
I looked very rich. I had my gold on.
You looked expensive. I looked so no one could afford
me. Oh my God.
Yeah. OK.
So Bobs and flops. Yeah, my first flop is
Davidovich Fokina. I mean, what a dream he is.
Oh, I am sorry everybody. Listeners Mr. Monk home Paul
Paul just removed his tshirt again.
Is this becoming? I you know something that I
should expect on the? Maybe it's Bob's flops and tops,
I don't know. I don't know.
It was just getting a little warm in here.
So I do not know how I'm going to I I I'm speak.
I I literally cannot speak. I can't.
Oh my. Yes.
Those pits. Look, Brad Pitt's not the only I
organize my thoughts. Those.
I have no idea. I don't even know.
OK, I was talking about my flop. Davidovich Pokena.
He's he's our our cat lover, our man bun icon.
But that fifth set against Aruna.
What a match first of all. Oh yeah, but he was up 85 and
then at 8 all he was like, OK, what am I?
Going to all wait in the in the 10 point tiebreaker in the 10
point tiebreaker in the 5th set. Yeah, he was like, oh, let me
serve an underhanded. Serve what the actual F was.
That why I you know my theory. My theory is that Alejandro
Davidovic Fukina, as dreamy and lovely as he is, he does not
have it. Do you know who has?
It wait, so was it just like self sabotage?
Like, I'm not worthy of winning this match, so here's an under
100%. A 100%.
I don't know. I wonder, is a masochist?
Like, yeah, Like what? Yeah.
Like maybe it was more like some sort of kink.
Like it was like, ooh, I want to, I want to be embarrassed in
front of everybody. Like, I have like a shame kink.
And like, oh, you think he had, like, the best sex of his life
that night? Maybe, like, Oh my God, you're
such an idiot. You're so stupid.
Oh my God, you fucked up. Oh, like, maybe that was his
When Harry Met Sally moment. She's serving like I, but I I I
still don't think he has it. And I have to tell you, he has
it. He has it.
No. No, he does not have it.
No. Oh, he has it.
I'm not talking about it. I'm talking about it like Carlos
Alcaraz has it. Yeah, Igus, Viontek has it.
There are only maybe 7 to 9 players on the ATP that I would
say have it and he is one of them.
Does does Yonic Sinner have it? He has it, OK.
Does Francis Giafo have it? Almost you.
You either have it or you don't. Paul, he's getting it.
He's in the process of he has, you're saying he has it.
He has it, Yes. OK, Does your husband Tommy Paul
aka Paul Paul have? Don't you dare.
Don't you dare make me say that he doesn't have it because he
doesn't have it. But don't you dare make me say
it. I'm making you say it.
Yeah. Does Casper?
Does Casper Rude have it? Does Liam Brody have it?
Are the which one? Ally extraordinaire Liam Brody.
Like listeners, if you want to know that the ATP supports the
gays, look no further than Liam Brody's Instagram.
Again, look no further because you can't really find much more
evidence. Because And Liam Brody is an
ally extraordinaire. And he does he have it, Paul?
No, OK, fine. I'm right.
I'm correct. Do you have any?
Oh, do I have it? Yes, I have it.
You have it. Yeah, bitch.
Do you have a bop or a flop for me?
Yeah, well, so, OK, so, so this is like a bit of like a Bop
flop. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure where I stand yet on this from the flop.
So seeing a a blop I seeing seeing City Pass live against
Murray which it was it was tough because the crowd was so pro
Murray and City Pass he he played within himself he was
really solid and like I don't I don't know what happened like I
think he might be really hot I don't know it's weird like I I
suddenly see him I'm like oh he's hot he it was great to see
him live and. I'm kind of turn I'm I'm so I'm
on the city fence I'm sitting on the fence I'm at city fence
because like I used to be like oh I hate bitchy pass but now
I'm like oh he's kind of hitsy pass like he is hits it really
well he's like he's really he was classy I so I I don't know
how I feel about it but I was like OK like which I I I feel
kind of I I'm happy that the next time I see him play I'm not
going to be like oh God not bitchy pass again.
I feel kind of bad for him. He has no friends.
He, you know, he has some friends.
He has said though he has said publicly like I I'm so lonely.
I have no friends. Like it's it's kind of sad.
So I'm gross with you. But then, so then he'd sit the
bed though he just like he what he would at the bed.
He'd sit, he, he, he shit the bed, but he'd sit, he'd sit the
bed, you know, rolls off the tongue, clearly, but, you know,
against Eubanks in the round of 16, so he beats.
He beats Murray in the second round, he rolls to the third
round and then he's playing Eubanks, which I love.
The Eubanks story like, that was great.
He had a great run. Yeah, like quick shout out to
Eubanks, like cool guy. Like way to like persevere and
like, hello, we love you. Yeah, great, great serve, lot of
talent. But like, there was no excuse
for Stefanos to lose that match. And he just he'd sit the bed he.
And so there was a, a, a. There was a virus going around
because people were shitting the bed left and right.
And I don't want to point any fingers, but it was happening a
lot more on the the lady's side where they don't sit the bed,
they spit the bed. So just like Spittalina, who I
fucking love, loved the Spittalina story for Wimbledon.
She made it to the semis, which is amazing, and she.
She spit the bed against Vondrussova like she just didn't
like. Maybe she was just exhausted.
Apparently everyone those spit the bed against vondrussova.
Apparently vondrussov has that effect on people.
Maybe that's what her tattoos say.
Like go shit yourself because yeah, I mean, Pegula shmit the
bed, yeah, but then even Kvitova shmit the bed.
Goth shmit the bed. All these pairs like they're
just. They were I I was like, who fit
the bed worse. I'm going to say I agree with
you. Other than golf, because Kennon
came to play, I I weirdly am actually standing Kennon a
little bit at the moment. Like that was a tough first
round. Kennon played to win.
But I agree with you, let me ask you.
Between Pegula and Kavittiva, who fit the bed worst.
Kavittiva because she came. Out she she, I feel like she
walked on the court already spitting the bed like she was.
She like the bed was already messy and she was like, just
going to. So just as a recap, it was the
round of 16. She plays Jaipur and it's six.
Love 6. Three.
Fuck. Like she won three, so this is a
two time limelman champion and she she looked great leading up
to that. Amazing.
Well, I mean, her first round was three sets.
Yeah, she's really she played great against Sasnavich, who's a
tough player. She played great against
Caustic, who's, you know, solid. And then it was like Okay, we
knew this was going to be tough. But like 6 love 63 against Jabor
Bro. What what happened to Kvit,
brother, she just bro. She she committed the bed, bro.
All I know bro. Is that like later bro?
Girl. Wayne she She baited the bed.
Yeah, so that was that was a flop.
Was like, people, people need to show up.
They need to show up and fucking perform like you're professional
tennis players. I don't want to see a bagel or a
breadstick ever again. Stop it.
It's summertime no more. It is summertime.
No more carbs. Look, we're going to do a quick
outfits and outbursts. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, you want to talk about the
Nike dresses, right? I mean, yeah.
What do you want to say about? It well, I mean, so, you know,
real quick. But it was kind of cool.
Like, I was like, well, Nike did like that weird homage to Covet
at the Australian Open. And then it was a bunch of
peppermint candy sticks at the French Open.
I was like, well, they can't do anything at Wimbledon because
it'd be all white. And I love what they did.
It was like they were like we're going to have the absence of
clothing to be our dress now. And so Madison, Keys, Cavidova,
they both had and a couple of other players, they had those
Sevelanka too. Where was the sort of like 2
layers of not mesh but but material, skirt, materials,
leather and lace. It was leather and lace.
It was very sexy and you could see through it and I was like,
oh work, that looks kind of cool.
But once again I was like. Where is the option for the
guys? Like, why wasn't Tommy Paul
wearing something where I could actually see his nipples?
Why wasn't Tiafo? Why wasn't any of the other
players that I would Sir Andy? Andy has maybe the greatest legs
on tour. Why weren't his short see
through? Why is it just the lemon?
Paul, he does not have the greatest legs on tour.
He has great legs. But like, I mean, my God, there
are so many men to choose from anyway.
Distract me from my argument for equal rights.
For the See through the women's clothing.
I want to see through the men's clothing.
Done, Done. I'm with you.
OK, fine.
Andy Murray See through. Yeah, Andy Murray collection.
If you're a real ally, let me see through your shorts.
Marta Koschuk, Ukrainian player. She is sponsored by Wilson and
she has an overall deal with Wilson.
She's actually the only player who does, meaning they clothing,
shoes, rackets, all of it her outfit.
You look great. She looked fucking great and she
beat Socceree and that was my favorite outfit of the
tournament. Was was was the Wilson outfit
that I think only Coaster was wearing.
I don't. I don't remember seeing anyone
else in it. What did you like about it?
I like the proportions. I like that it was both stylish
and practical and sensible. It was a little retro and and
contemporary at the same time. It's very chic.
It looks a little bit like like maybe like an Austin Powers,
sort of like wet suit cut at the top.
You know, if that doesn't scream chic, I don't know what does.
You know, it's interesting because obviously we know
Wimbledon band, Russian and Belarussian players from playing
last year and so this year they were like, OK, fine, you can
play, but of course there's this backdrop of all sorts of, you
know. Shenanigans.
Yeah, yeah. Is that what you call war?
There's a lot of shenanigans going on between the Ukraine and
Russia right now. Oh well, those those
shenanigans. Yeah, I mean, soon they're.
Going to Tomahawk shenanigans, those nuclear shenanigans.
Nuclear, I have to say, I was up at night, I was watching the
mixed double s fine, and I might have like smoked a little piece
of a joint. But when Pavich and Kishinok, so
Kishinok is Ukrainian, they won the mixed double s.
But she said, I try to encourage the people in Ukraine, and I
hope this helps a little because they are fighting for their
freedom. I was like sobbing.
I was sobbing. I rewound it.
I was sobbing again. I rewound it.
I was sobbing again. It touched me, Paul.
Was this, I think, Was this the marijuana talking maybe?
Or well, I feel like the the the cannabis may have enhanced my
emotional reaction. You can't.
You know when when people start saying, oh, the cannabis, like
the cannabis, yeah, because it's legal now, bitch, you can legal
now. The weed, OK.
The cannabis. The grass.
Yeah.
The marriage. Yeah.
Look in honor, Wimbledon. It's fucking grass, Paul.
Are you ready for a game? Yes, I am all right.
Do I need to? Do I need any props?
No. I mean you've taken off your
shirt. You might need to take off your
shorts. Do I take my shorts?
Do I get points if I take my shorts off again?
Yeah, you do take them off. It's happening there, listeners.
Hold on. Oh oh wow, Paul Gray briefs you
fellows out. Well, if I can get my mind.
Off your mind, out of the gutter.
My eyes are down here. OK, so this game checkmate is
about. Check players and their mates So
their siblings, their coaches, their lovers, the romantic
partners. The checks were everywhere.
It's like, check this, check that, check it out.
So yeah, I mean, I think it makes sense, like, let's play
checkmate. Yeah.
So can you check me for life? It was so cute how Marketa, you
know, like she didn't think she would win the quarters and then
she didn't think she would win the semis.
And then it's like, and then her husband flew out from Prague
wherever they live and he left their like, little like sphinx
cat who's I think like a hairless cat who What do you
think, Paul? Cute.
I mean, the husband was the cat because they're both like
hairless twinks, but like, no, Paul, I'm going to ask you a
question. You're going to have multiple
choice answers. First question, question #1,
Petra Kvitova is engaged to your coach, your advantage?
Where did they get engaged? A Wimbledon Center.
Court B. The Maldives?
C The Hotel Emitage? Monte Carlo?
D The Eagle. I mean, where did Petra and Yuri
get engaged? I'm down to either the Eagle or
the Maldives and. I'm going to go with the
Maldives because I I haven't seen her at the Eagle lately.
Lately. But actually, no, It was
Wimbledon Center. Court No.
Yes, last year. They allowed that?
Well, she's a member. Was she still playing twice?
Was she like it? Was it like mid match?
No, but yeah, no. I mean, that's really cool.
Well, okay well, so sorry. So question number.
I. Well cuz I was there, I really
want to get proposed to at center court next year, so start
shopping now. Barbora Krichikova was mentored
by which Czech legend? Hey Martina Navratilova?
B Yana, Nevada C Helena Sukova, D Jan Kodas.
Martina Navratilova Oh my God. No, no.
OK, we're going to change the rules, No.
Like they they had this is they bonded and.
Then, right. And then when Yana died, she was
really upset and she had her great sort of run in honor of
her. Yeah.
Yana. No.
Because I know that I get that point.
I think you get that point. Great question.
Three. This Czech player made an
appearance on The Real Housewives of Miami, A Peter
Korda, B Martina Navratilova, C Carolina Pliscova, D Yvonne
Lendl, who made an appearance relatively recently on The Real
Housewives of My Yummy. Come on, Paul.
OK. So it's for me, it's down to the
Eagle or Yvonne Lendl, I'm going to say.
Martina Navratilova, you got it. Yes, Paul.
Her, her wife is one of the housewives and so she's been on
it, yeah. Oh, wow.
I mean, I don't watch those shows.
No offense, but wow, listeners, if you want to see Martina in.
That's really sexy that Martina's wife is on that,
though. That's really fucking cool.
Yeah. Final question.
This is for the win. Which of the following is not
true of Carolina Pliscova's twin sister, Christina?
A Unlike Carolina, Christina is left-handed.
B Christina holds the record for most aces in the WTA match.
C Christina is a mom. It's it's a wait, no no wait,
Which is the wait. I'm confused by the wording,
which is not. So she definitely doesn't have
the record for the most aces. In a match Paul.
Billy, I need you right now. She does not have the record
process question. Everything rides on this
question, so you need to really. So wait, which one is not false?
Or this is confusing? We can well, let's start this
question over again. Can you like what is what?
Which of the following is not true?
Also known as false? Yeah.
Can we just? Yeah.
Like, can you not be about Carolina Kliscova's twin sister,
Christina? What are the options?
A Unlike Carolina, Christina is lefthanded.
That's so it's false that she's unlike her sister.
It's just, I'm confused. You know what?
I'm. I'm still in London time.
I'm going to say a wait, no, no. Paul, I don't know.
This is so confusing. Okay, Do you think Christina
Boscov is left-handed? I don't even know which one is
right. Which one is my left hand?
Okay. So we're going to rule out a
because Christina is goddamn left-handed.
Geez, great, great. I'm going to.
I'm going to help you through. This yeah.
This means B Christina holds the record for most aces in a WTA
match. There's no way she holds that
record. OK, we'll table that.
See, Christina is a mom. She's not a mom.
Christina is a mom. Wait, am I saying which one is
false or which one is true? You're saying which one is
false. So the false has to be either.
She doesn't have the record. Oh my God, this is the worst
phrase fucking question ever. I've never seen using.
I've never hated. You.
I hate you in so many ways. I am going to.
Do the worst things to you possible.
Oh, hell. OK.
And we're back folks. Can we, should we, should we ask
this question one more time? No, I give up.
I don't even know how. I don't even know how to answer
it. Christina was born 40 minutes
after Carolina. Oh, there was a D this whole
time? Jesus Christ.
OK, it's DI. Don't even know what you're
saying. Which one of these is false?
Unlike, like the wording is really.
You know, I hate, I hate to say this, but you're right.
You're right. The answer is D Oh my God.
Yeah the the the thing that is not.
True. So all the other things are
false? No?
Oh. My God, I hate you right now.
So. Listeners, if this made sense to
you, please. Tell me how dumb I am.
Let me just tell you some things that are true.
Here are things that are true. Unlike Carolina, Christina is
left-handed. That's.
True, that's a really porous way of saying unlike.
It's like that through me. Another thing that is true.
Christina holds the record for
most aces in a WTA match. I think it was in against Monica
Puig in the Australian Open. That's Christina.
I don't believe you. Yeah, I don't believe that.
See. Christina is a mom.
True had a baby last year. D Christina was born 40 minutes
after Carolina. That is false.
What? How many minutes after her was
she born? I think she was been born 2
minutes after her or two minutes before.
But you. Think you didn't know the
answer? You don't even know what.
You don't even know what's true. She was born 2 minutes before.
You don't know. You weren't there.
She's 2 minutes older, yeah, and
her left. You know what?
I fucking won anyway. OK, great.
I win. I win.
What do you win? What do you win?
I. I didn't even know what's false
anymore, so I I don't know. But I won.
All right, Well, I won. Amazing.
And that has been our Wimbledon recap show.
Everybody. Thank you, as always, to my
dearest and nearest, Billy Hansen.
Thank you. Always a pleasure and thanks
everybody for listening in. You know, if you've been with us
along the way, thanks for coming back.
If you're new, welcome. And if you want to tell a friend
about this, about these idiots who like to talk about tennis
and all the gay stuff in between all the shots.
So we'll see you in a little bit for the the US North America
swing. And I can't wait to talk about
all the ins and outs of the greatest game on Earth.