Bonjour everybody and welcome to the latest episode of ball,
boys. My name is Paul monk home, and I
am one of your hosts of the ball boys.
And today we are in recovery mode.
We are recovering from Pride. We are recovering from the
Tony's. We are recovering.
Covering from the French Open, which has been many fiq on cray
habla and Les Miserables all at once.
And as always, I am here with my favorite ball boy in the entire
world, mr. Billy Hanson.
Hey Billy. How's it going?
Oh, hey, Paul is going. I mean it's going pretty well.
I've had a tough time. Sleeping.
Why? Well during Pride I always have
a tough time sleeping. You know, I'm kept up at night.
Because you're titillated. No because my neighbor decides
to put like high heels in the in the washer.
Yeah at 1:00 a.m. Yeah, if you have you ever tried
to walk in heels up and down these Hills these here Hills,
it's like West Virginia. These Hollywood Hills.
I have believe it or not. It's great for the but I made it
down, but I didn't make it up. Well, that's that's like half of
that song Running up that hill. Yeah, Josh yeah.
So anyway, folks it's been a lot.
There's been a lot going on. I mean, so we have two weekends
of Pride here. I think we might have more.
I think like Atwater Village pride is coming up and like
Glendale Pride I love Glendale Pride, I love Azusa pride in
Arcadia Pride I love what was that?
From Clueless San Luis. Obispo Pride.
Oh San Louis. Obispo pride is the best and
Chic. Yeah, San Clemente Pride, well,
I had San Clemente ones and it cleared right up.
Do you know what doc CPAP is Doc?
CPAP is that for your dog? Is that Truvada for your dog?
Will see? I thought doc, see pep.
I thought it was Prophylaxis prophylaxis related.
Right? And it probably is.
But I thought it was like basically the same as prep.
I thought, Oh, I thought you said prolapse this.
Sorry that's chronic. There's no cure for that.
Trust me. So you're on Doxie poop.
So and was it so doc CPAP. If you take it 24 to 72 hours or
0 to 72 hours after having sex, it basically makes it much
harder for you to catch. Syphilis gonorrhea and
chlamydia. Oh yeah.
The three sisters. Yeah, so listeners.
I know some of you have been participating in Pride in more
ways than one. I mean, you know, we usually
wait until halfway through the episode for a sponsor but well
you know what this is not this is not sponsored, this is a PSA
we're doing God's work. Yes.
So have you tried everybody and good luck out there?
So on to the tennis right? The French Open man, man.
Oh man. Oh man, let's start out with the
shrieking M. Let's do it.
Our favorite thing so. Okay, I'll go first.
I've been warming up my vocal cords.
I'm ready. Wait, uh-huh!
Which is Mariah Carey hitting those high notes during Pride
emotions. I think that was a motions.
That was emotions that. Yeah, I got, I mean your
pictures perfect II mean, i-i've if a listener didn't get that,
you did, they need to learn their her story.
Yeah. Emotions is my favorite, single
from Mariah Carey. Okay.
Now far before I was born in the early 90s.
Yes, but Mariah Carey played La Pride this weekend.
The starting at the big Saturday night show, and 25,000,
homosexuals and allies packed into a park or possibly one of
the worst performances I've ever seen live.
I'm glad, but I'm glad I saw it. I'm glad I saw Mariah Carey and
that's how I feel about the French Open.
It was rough. It was rough and I love the
French Open. I love Mariah Carey.
I am so glad both of those things are over and I can just
take a moment to myself now. Did you have a poster of Mariah
Carey on your wall as a child? I did not.
But I knew all the words to someday Vision of Love.
And emotion. Always be my baby.
Oh, oh yeah. Boo boo, boo.
Yeah. Yeah.
I was not at the Mariah Carey Show you where's Artie.
I was already spent you while you're not that proud of a boy
the second weekend. No you're not very crowded.
I'm actually Going to bring it up with my therapist on
Wednesday like why do I hide from Pride?
Yeah whoo all right line hide from Pride hmm.
Like my next single is dropping German that line from 30 Rock
that queen of Jordan says, it's about her single dropping.
My new single, my single is dropping is dropping.
This is one of the best lines ever written.
It's actually a good sign. We heard that song I want to
hear that song. Let's make it happen.
We have not, but maybe we can have her on the queen of Jordan
might come on and sing for us. I feel like it could almost be
as good as a little bit of Lexus or could she may be perform at
next year's Pride with me Alexis.
Oh my God, queen of Jordan. And Alexis were, there we go
they lining Pride 2024, folks right in let's make it happen.
This is our bridge to die on our Bridge sir.
Herbie Thea. Yes, our bridge to Madison
Bridges of Madison County, a British and of man Bridges of
Madison Keys. I had to you, set me up.
God if there's anyone I want to win a slam anyone, I want to win
a goddamn slam that's honestly but she still like in her
mid-20s she's yeah baby. She's 28, mmm for me that's
mid-twenties. I've decided Billy.
What is your shreeka M? Okay well you know I've
rehearsed this repeatedly so I've got it down.
Yes you ready always? Oh I'm sorry.
What was that? What was that accent again está.
Triste S is to at least and we're told you're sad, that was
the sound. That was the sound of of Rafa
tearing his name stake, statue. He has a statue at Roland
Garros. It was debuted in 2021.
That's the sound of rafah ripping at limb by limb.
He blames himself for not maintaining the the record
because he's notoriously tough on himself.
Thank you. Uncle Tony.
Thanks Daddy. Look, we all need an uncle like
that. Yeah, yeah.
You're not. You're you're Right-handed or
left-handed? What happened?
Wasn't a doll forced into being a southpaw.
Yes, really wait, I can't are you are used to?
Because so I'm a lefty by Nature, he's a left by nurture.
Yes, that's why his brain is all crossed.
And so I know it is. So let's, let's dig into this a
little bit more with our Winner's Circle.
So obviously, we're both feeling a little fraught after the
French Open. So, the big headlines on the
lady side, we had egos fee on Tech, take home her, third
Roland Garros title, pop, clap, congratulations, Miss Xian Tech
eegah. If you're nasty and on the men's
side we had some, some guy Novak Djokovic won his 23rd, grandson
crowd oohs - Mild to Wild mild Supply.
Well, I'm open to anything, honestly.
Yes, for calling him, the goat. I just, I am not.
I just, I mean, look, we have not mixed our words or minced
our words here. Women's everything except words
over here ball boys and Novak whatever.
It's it's tough because so he want us twenty third grand slam.
It was kind of the last thing that he really needed to do to
separate himself from the men. And he did it.
So Billy is he's a goat. I mean, you know, I would have
to say that statistically an objectively, he is.
So if you don't feel that he is, it's probably because, you know,
like I mean you got some feelings about it, and that's
fair. You're not alone.
I do Paul does, but not all historic moments are happy
moments, you know. Like some has moments are a
little depressing and this is one of them.
It's just funny though because you think about goats which I
think I'll go to lock, you know Michael Jordan the goat it kind
of beloved by all Tom, Brady the goat, maybe a little
problematic. The older he gets touchy because
he was in Novak's boss. He was a noble Xbox which was I
was Surprised like we're I didn't know that they were that
close. I didn't know that they hung out
like that. Like like is Tom, Brady Novak's,
Anna Wintour. Tom Brady.
I think, you know I actually really know very little about
him so keep that keep that he's a quarterback from.
Yeah. And he's and he's, and he's had
some good Botox in the past couple years.
Oh, babe he is. Mmm.
If I look good at 45. Yeah.
Oh my God, honey. I think he and no back have
bonded over their own kind. Of transcendence of politics and
of a side that makes sense. But I feel like, you know, he
could have had anyone in his box and he had Tom Brady, which was
just it was, it was interesting. It was cool that he was there
but I've never seen Tom edimax before.
I would have personally enjoyed that seat.
But let's talk a little more about, you know, Novak has a
goat. Hmm.
So he's obviously we've talked about his problematic things in
the past and you know it's no real Secret.
It online on Twitter, amongst our little brood of bitchy gay
friends, who another whom like Novak, but he gets a pretty nice
treatment on. NBC Mary, Carillo talks about
how he's sacrificed so much to be here and like, wow, what a
great athlete and, you know, Johnny Mac doesn't say much
about Novak's sort of more Scandalous history and I don't
know. What do you think about it?
Well I mean a couple months ago Ron DeSantis was saying, hey
Novak, I'm going to Charter a boat and sail, you or whatever,
to Miami for the Miami open because of covid restrictions.
You're not allowed. That's creating all sorts of
trouble. He got detained in Australia.
He talked about a certain Waters.
Telekinetic, Powers. Yeah.
That's that's the thing is. I used to think he was cute.
Novak. Yeah.
And I could think he was cute again.
Could I could I forgive him. Yeah if you said you know what,
I was wrong. I could forgive him, could you?
I mean it's hard to say forgive him because well so has he
hasn't personally done anything to me.
Look with Novak. It's been well over a decade of
Almost zero enjoyment, watching him play because of his on-court
Shenanigans his attitude. His lack of professionalism, his
kind of maniacal approach to all of this.
It's not very fun to watch someone like that.
So I just, I don't really know. I do love the idea of him and
Ron DeSantis like getting on a boat like maybe near the Bermuda
Triangle like yeah. I mean, sure.
Did you see that movie triangle of sadness?
Yes. I'm just imagining.
Aging that boat with them. So gonna storm through
Americorps each other. More reports on there to see
what happened. She's like, she's like, I'm
Margaret Court. Yeah.
Can you tell, can you she's gonna tell no back that he's
never, never going to get 24 on that boat.
Can you do that? For me?
This is your captain speaking Margaret courts Woody Harrelson
Margaret Court. I've got 24 of these green Slims
Ain't nobody going to get this record and that's how the movie
ends. Yeah.
So I mix.
I'm excited for that Margaret Court Novak Djokovic face off
over the next. You know.
Maybe it's 123 slams. Well, they're talking about it.
They're gonna be talking about it Ad nauseam until know that
catches our, he's gonna catch her there's no doubt about.
I've got V Novak. It's going to be my right
Margaret. I mean, and honestly like
between Margaret and Novak, I would rather he has more than
her. Her.
But God, you know, so yeah. He's going to put.
So, so NBC and Mary Carillo, they're going pumping up this
story line until they catch her and they overtake her.
And then we're going to be stuck with this goat this hero.
And like you said, I totally agree.
Like not all history is great. So okay is no back.
Gonna be the winningest player of all time and we just have to
look at this sport that we love and be like, well, This douche
nozzle is the greatest of all time.
Like that's that's unfortunate. You know what they say?
Not all great. Men are good anyway bed.
Oh it's like a fortune cookie. You add in bed at the end of her
Fortune. Not all great.
Men are good. In bed.
I mean, I'd like to I'd like to know name three, great men.
In No Name, three, great men, who suspect are not good at in
bed who I suspect are not good and bad.
Yeah. Oh my God.
Albert Einstein. Okay, Albert Schweitzer and
Albert Brooks. And that's just the A's.
I didn't I don't you know, listeners.
I confess. I don't know who that middle
one. Was.
I only slept with them, the first one in the fridge and I
can verify knock knock. Albert Schweitzer was a
theologian organist. He's a musicologist, he's a
humanitarian and he was born in 1875 and France and he won the
Nobel. Peace Prize.
Hmm. Fun fact.
Yeah, so maybe you should sleep with some higher caliber
Albert's. We those it Albert Brooks for
me, it's all been Prince Albert's Prince.
Albert Brooks mistress, Isabella, Prince Albert.
Rocks. Yeah, that's my new drag name.
Okay, moving on. Well, you know, any played
against Casper rude in the final, which, yeah, good on
Casper for making three out of three finals and you know the
last year I mean Casper. Rude, you cannot Does anyone
that the here's the thing about him?
Does anyone not find him sexy? That's the thing.
He's universally sexy. He's universally kind and sweet,
sir. I mean he's what I mean is
Everyone likes vanilla, Everyone likes vanilla right.
It's a universally tasty flavor and Casper, rude.
Everything about Casper, rude, is vanilla, I agree.
I mean, the fact that he Beat Runa and zverev as well as he
did. Like he had a little more spice.
I think he's been adding some spice to vanilla like, it's
almost like a little chili, like he.
Yeah, yes, beforehand. His nose.
His forehand can pop. He can actually, I was
impressed. Oh baby, I agree.
But, where was that? Spice in the final?
I mean, the first set, I think he took his little spice rack.
He had his little Norwegian spice rack, and he's like, okay,
I'm gonna put all my spices in the first touch, and he did, and
he flavored it, and he flavored it and hear a word it, but it
was No vanilla. At the end of it. but, Okay, so
maybe maybe he needs to learn, maybe the spices still need to
be mingled into his menu, his recipe and his game, still lacks
an X Factor and he's also like he when he lost, he was like,
like smiling. Like like Placid.
He's so he's such a gracious Loser?
Yeah, I wonder if he's too gracious.
Like he seems too comfortable as a runner-up.
And I'm like, you can be a gracious, you can be gracious,
but you can still be upset, you can still be your tears can
still streak your face like mooc.
Where was his? Where was his running mascara?
Like I wanted to see. Yes, yeah he's such a sub.
It's almost like he's like he likes being runner-up.
Yeah no I hear you like I mean it's kind of cool because we
both get on Novak's case about him being kind of such a dick
but on the flip side when you're such a good sport and you're so
okay with losing another grand slam and you know in three grand
slam finals. Now he's 11 set.
You starting to be sort of a perennial runner-up.
I love running up a perineum. Come on over.
So on to the ladies side, like we said, ego won her third
French Open. But you know in general like
this was not this was not the shining star of a WTA tournament
that I was hoping it was going to be I three or four episodes
declared my newfound love for the women's game and wow it's
out of its flop era. I was incorrect because this was
a Flippity floppity French Open for the ladies.
And yeah, there was that mystery virus going around that caused a
couple of pullouts and and retirements but for some reason
only the women got it. No, I don't think any men got
this virus. So there's so I guess the ladies
can also go on Doc's. Appu will that help doxey pep?
Yeah, I will say that it's a blanket and Rebecca have Played
really well over the past 12 months as has.
Of course she on deck. And so there is some promise for
that ongoing rivalry in women's tennis, but we have to be a
little careful. 6-12 months does not make necessarily A a rivalry
or in an era, you know, Sabha Lanka's sometimes.
I mean, she's really improved. But sometimes, she's like, she
looks so sloppy. So off balance Rabat, gonna is a
little bit of a, she's a wild card.
We don't really know. Yeah, she's a mystery.
Yeah, no, I hear you. Well, I think that we are just
so starved for some sort of reliable narrative on the
women's side, where it's like, okay, these are the three
they're going to battle it out, we can get you know, we can get
used to this, it's going to be dramatic, it's going to be you
know, it's gonna be the new Christian, Martina the new
Monica and Stephy, you know, the new Janet Jackson vs.
Mariah Carey. It's just going to be like,
okay, by the way Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson played the
same night in l.a., over Pride big drama but this Trio is kind
of crumbling like they're not they're not really at that point
yet but we just because otherwise it's just it's hard to
watch the WTA when it's just sort of a revolving door and I
love a revolving door. Oh no.
No I you set one up over Pride. Yeah.
My building manager will not give me my deposit back but I
think I actually just made things more efficient here.
Yeah. But you know coming back to Ego
a little bit. She kind of stresses me out
lately when I walked her though, especially the Run.
Leading up to the French Open. I mean she had like the double
bagel I think it was the third or the fourth round in the
French Open which was great. But it's like it's like she's
kind of like Like, she's more like, ikke Spherion, Tech.
She's like eking by some of these tournaments and some of
these matches where it's like, this final, you know, she was
shaky and did not feel like this Transcendent player who was
going to kind of be the leader for the next decade which admit
and that's fine. Maybe she's not, you know, it's
it unless it charted territory saying hey I'm your new Dom
number one and guess what? I have A sports psychologist on
my team and that's because I need that she's not hiding the
fact that psychology is part. Oh yeah, of it.
And so sometimes you feel when you're watching her on court
that she's looking for that psychological support and maybe
it takes her a moment to find it but I think she finds it.
And and it is kind of, it is kind of new.
I know, I agree and I think it's a great point because she has
really kind of ushered in this conversation around mental
health and when she, when she burst on the scene at 18 years
old with her psychologist and meditating between changeovers
was like, oh, oh, right there. I mean, everyone talked about
the mental side of the game but no one really was.
It was not him. It was like, if it was like
Hayden. Yes.
Closeted. Yeah.
Mental health is coming out of the closet, and, and she be on
Tech and frankly. Osaka, despite her other
questionable choices is bringing it out of the closet.
Hello. Hello.
And it looks Fierce. And what did you think of the
actual final the match between should be on Tech and mokuba, is
that the correct pronunciation either?
Honestly, we were watching on an NBC and John Mcenroe Mary
Carillo and the Third guy. They all they all spoke
differently as if they were like three feuding linguists and they
were just like no, this is how one was milkovo.
One was mahabhava and one was mikotoba and it was like, guys,
like you all have Google and you can just Google how to say, moo
covid-19. I really enjoyed a mooc of has
run. She's got a great game.
You know, she made it the Australian Open semies back in
2021 you know. It's she's been on the radar.
Oh yeah and she's hope I hate to say it but she's really cute.
Am I allowed to say that she's not like a cute smile?
Beautiful eyes. Yeah, it's not allowed.
Okay, I think so. Okay.
Well I just I meant more like I don't want to be jealous.
Whose eyes are more beautiful. Well, I'm looking at your eyes
are Bluer, whose eyes are Bluer, whereas, or more as you are.
Well, do you have your Coco montrese contacts in or one
second? Hold on, let me put them in up,
right? There's the left.
Look how fucking orange. You look?
Yes, yeah. But I let stuff for me is I
loved her run but it's kind of like mooc of a Who But you know,
like she kind of came out of nowhere.
So I was at who Cova Who cover, who cook, whatever, who we keep
having these. These players in WTA tournaments
and Grand Slams, who have this big run, have this big moment
and then fall off the radar examples.
Paul at the French specifically Von Rusev a Barbara critique of
AA Anastasia pavlyuchenkova Cannon.
And then all over the tour andreea scoot right?
A cannula, the Fernandez. Daniel, Daniel Collins your
favorite, Jen Brady. I mean, all these players that
have one run, one encounter saying, yeah.
Oh, here she is. She's announcing herself.
We're going to see this players too.
Good to not see her on tour as a factor for ten fifteen, twenty
Thirty forty, five years, you know.
The next Century. Novak Djokovic.
Yeah yeah and it's just it's happened.
So many times that you know you feel me.
Fool me once for me twice for me 33 times and I'm still going to
maybe think about it. It's weird.
It's like a it's like a weird like reality dating show.
Like we get two weeks with these women.
You fall in love with them, we learn their backstory and like
what they overcame and all this stuff.
And and you know, I know all of mooc of has injuries and
everything that she's been through to get here.
It's tricky because, like, you fall in love with them for two
weeks and then they're gone. You never hear from them again.
It's like it's like the majority of my boyfriend.
He's the weak fall deeply in love and then revolving door out
onto the next. Yeah, it's just, it's, you know,
it can be a little empty, they've got a support group,
Paul, you're not the only one who was scarred and and then
blocked from them. Those work from the new
tournaments, they won't let me in guys.
I'm back this time, I'm different, but but like in the
final they were saying like, oh look of a, we're going to see be
seeing her for the next. Years.
You know, like the like this is she is here and I've heard that
before heard it all before. So we'll see.
I and I thought you gonna start that chant.
She's here. Queer get used to it but she's
just here. You know what I did think was
fun about the final. What was that both mokuba and
she on Tech idolized. Rafael Nadal.
Yeah, I saw that, that photo of mokuba in her little capri
pants, her clam diggers so. So cute clam clam, what, what is
a clam? What is the clamp?
All what is the clamp slang for? Do you know, I just, I just
like, hearing is a clam, so you do with your, with your
Mid-Atlantic, San Diego accent, you know, lamb, in terms of
shellfish, The clams are low. I love a scallop, but, clams are
not clams, and mussels are see. You think you better than me?
I love a clam chowder. I love a clam chowder.
Yeah. No, I'm not anti clam well, but
a little muscle Fritz, like, Taylor Fritz.
I got ya. You know, a good old friend
moose moose feet? Yeah.
Is that what it is? Jesus.
You know, I got a showing, how worldly are we are?
Without I got a I got a 5 on the front JP 10 to 20 years ago.
And it's 20 30 years ago but yeah, no, it was interesting.
Yeah, so they are a couple of interesting points though.
That that eegah and mooc Ava both idolized Rafa because it
feels like In some ways. Some it's yet another weird
gender inequality. We're like okay girls can
idolize a guy player because like, oh yeah, I want to be like
the best of the best in like guy like little boys growing up with
like yeah, I want to idolize Rafa but like I don't think
there are as many boys who are, like, I want to play, like,
Serena there might be a lot of girls are like, I want to play
like Serena, but it's sort of like, it doesn't go both ways.
It's what, what you, you don't. To play like Serena?
No, I do. But I'm I'm very comfortable in
my skin. There's no.
What you're what you're saying basically is that, if you want
to play like Serena and you're like a young sort of 11 year old
kid and New England. If you're male identified way,
11 year, old boy, In New England and imposed, any of a poster of
Serena on your wall. You might be a homosexual.
Alert alert. Yes.
Parents, if your son has a poster of Serena Williams on
their wall, it is not because he thinks that she's hot.
Oh my God, I had posters because he wants to be her.
You're saying I wanted to be Mary Pierce She-Hulk, Jessica
Rabbit Catwoman, Sharon Stone Madonna.
I had these posters on my wall and I was, my parents just
thought I was a freak. There was like, oh, he He's so
straight and so kinky. I mean, those ice picks, those,
what a stud were raising, those are brackets.
I mean, we just we're gonna have to be careful that he doesn't
get all these women pregnant. Yeah.
Honey honey. He's nine years old.
Should we have the talk with him?
I'm worried. But yeah I mean but like the
case in point like you are homosexual and so yes like of
course like no, I'm sorry. I'm Sorry, I don't want it,
never admitted to that. I'm by, I'm by, don't you dare
everyone? I'm by, I love my anything.
Once I did that, I did that by Gateway with my dad.
Oh yeah. So on Father's Day, I did that
with your dad too. We all did that with your dad,
okay? That's our Winner's Circle for
the French Open because what a tournament and we're going to be
back in just a moment with something that we have cooked
up, just for this episode in honor of pride, in honor of
Father's Day, in honor of the Tonys were coming back with the
disappoint ease. Welcome back everybody and it is
now time for the inaugural edition of the disappoint he's
an honor of Pride and Father's Day.
We have come up with a new award show for when you're really
disappointed in something for when you wish things had gone.
Another way. For when you're not that happy
about the French Open, we thought what better way to
celebrate that? Then with how our fathers might
feel about us this pride month, Month, it's just like, you know,
the office, the Dunder Mifflin. They had the dundies.
I love it. Hey, let's do this.
We had the Tonys last night. It's time for the disappoint.
Is the discipline motional. The emotional unavailable?
He's now that's already been taken.
Oh yeah. Yeah.
It's so we have seven or eight Awards to give out folks.
Did I tell you that? My father suggested I play
football to help my tennis. He was like, you should join the
football team. It'll be from playing more
tennis know, it'll like help you like, like, literally man up
like, toughen up like, like and he was like, it'll help with
your footwork. Hmm.
And I was like, well, Dad, I could also just do footwork
drills where you can also just take dance class.
I was like, you know, the concussion might not help my
tennis game. But thanks Dad, I brought this
this up with him like recently and he was like, what?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I didn't suggest you join the football team and I was like,
okay, look, honestly, like you would be such a Target out
there. I'm glad you didn't play because
you would've been just picked off like one by one.
Would you have been a wide receiver or tight end?
Bullseye bullseye have been a bull's-eye.
That's not a position. Well, I'm sure your dad is No
longer as disappointed in you as he once was, but it's time for
the disappoint. He's folk a I am ready.
Are you ready for the first category?
Yes, what is the first category? The first category is worst
timing. So the worst timing, you know,
when things happen in an order or at a time when you just think
what? And so we've got two nominees
first We have the collaboration between Wilson and kif that
dropped as they said just in time for clay-court season and
they dropped it on the Friday before the French Open final
which is the last clay-court tournament of the season.
I mean you know I'm sure it was just a supply chain or something
but it's funny because so Billy and I we went to a really fun
little event on Thursday night and we met a lot of Fellow
tennis enthusiasts and our friend Eliza told us all about
this new collaboration like, oh my God, this sounds so great.
We go online and look at it it's all these jackets and all this
have some of it's very chic but a lot of it has like Eiffel
Towers on it. I've got to say the collection
itself. I like I was worried.
Yeah yeah but I don't need a jacket with an Eiffel Tower on
it. When I go to Wimbledon know that
Not only was the timing questionable but okay, let me
see. Some players wearing this Wilson
kith exactly a tire, right? Exactly.
Whether it's at the French Open Wimbledon in between.
Yeah, it's a head-scratcher, there's a questionable launch
botch launch. Yes.
Now now speaking of cathing is our second nominee which is sits
a Dosa. So this was Stephen oats its ups
and Paola Pedrosa. Who have done a hard launch
across social media of their new relationship.
Apparently, they're very much in love, it was seen watching his
matches. She was in the very back
watching, like, sort of in Incognito.
She has a. She had to pull out of Roland
Garros with the spinal fracture. Correct, I'm not.
I don't know how she I guess she got that during the Italian
Open. Or he says this deposit was also
playing the Italian extracurricular activities and
since he passed looked very out of sorts during his
quarterfinal. So they, they're both struggling
with their fucking each other. Out of the tour, they're bought
their bodies, they're pushing their bodies to the limits.
Take It to the Limit, you know, I gotta say so he bought them
doubt in the quarters real bad, really terrible showing and He
was, he was up for being number one in the world.
If he won this tournament and certain things happened and he
just completely got his ass handed to him and that's not
exactly but Dosa. You know, I wish.
But you know that's not exactly the time to just be like, okay,
we're just going to launch our our relationship.
It's just it's just it's weird timing.
Like if you really want to be a contender, just don't do it
after such an embarrassing loss or maybe the pr team was like
hey let's go. The stop talking about this.
So we're going to, we're going to launch City, Dosa, and they
did it. Also by changing their profile
photos on Spotify, which I didn't even know that was a
thing but suddenly and that's what everyone is talking about.
On Twitter. Oh, do they have each other in
their, their Spotify promo photos where they each have like
one or two or three followers? And so the award goes between
those two bad timing, the award, it goes to City Dosa.
Because the Wilson kids collection that can be around
forever. Why don't know why Paola Paola?
And Stefanos feel like they really need to be launching
right now. What's our next category?
Our next award, our next disappoint e is for the worst
serve and so this is a again, another two-way race between
Daria Kazakh. Kinas first, serve, and
Alexander's ver of second serve. Mmm.
Because both of them were Us. It's like that Target lady that
old Kristen Wiig SNL skit where she was like Wow!
Wow! And watching because of Canaan
which we're big fans of Daria here in the Pod.
Yeah, yeah that's serve that. That is such an embarrassment at
that's enough. Front two, lesbians everywhere.
That is the weakest first serve on tour.
Yeah. But hasn't Cana Has not
pretended. That it's anything other than
that, right? Like she's like, here's a
puffball. I'm throwing this, you know,
serve in. It's not really a hichy motion.
It's not prone to technical technical breakdown.
So she's basically saying, hey, this is a point starter.
Let's start then, let's let's get in the clay and roll around.
Why does she think that? That's okay, as a top 10 player.
Imagine if she Your serve. I don't know, I hope she does,
but I'm giving this one to zverev because he is so tall.
He should do better. Kazakh in does not.
As of now trying to do better. She's not double faulting.
She's not missing that serve, she's just rolling it and she is
not six-foot-six, like he is. So that's that's fair.
She's just under six foot six. Yeah, the thing about Casa
Colina, do just a little bit more about her, her box was
fierce and I think you know what Box.
I'm talking about. Yeah and that's her players box.
So it's funny watching the match between her and svitolina they
kept cutting over to her box and there were just these two very
chic just dress in all black lesbians watching and I was like
who is that? Like work because akina we've
established she does not give a flying you know what about what
you think of her and she's going to have whomever and she's going
to do whatever she's been vocally against the ward.
So I was looking up who it was And one of them was a pop singer
named zemfira. She is a Russian pop singer, who
has, since been declared a foreign agent by Russia, meaning
that they are no longer trusted as a Russian.
So so this because she is she is been vocally against the war.
She's a super Chic lesbian, she lives with her partner in Paris.
It's like reminded me very much of that movie high arc from the
90s with Ally Sheedy and Patricia Clarkson.
It just being like these two super Chic lesbians who just
were like, living their best lives.
And and so I was into that and also the wave at the end between
Switzerland and Kazakh Kina, you know.
So we all know that between Russian and Ukrainian or
Belarusian and Ukrainian players.
Not shaking hands at the net, but spirulina and Kasich.
Inna gave each other a look and like a thumbs-up of like and it
was just something about. It was so beautiful.
I almost I almost cried. It was just like, they really
had a Out of emotion for drinkers because akina is
extremely against this war and she's been very vocal Kazakh.
Kena has been more than any other more than any other
Russian or Belarusian player. She has been vocal against the
war and Russia's actions and supportive of Ukrainian players
and she didn't Shake Elina svitolina his hand because she
knew that Alina exhibit do it and Scioscia.
Anticipated that and gave her a thumbs-up and gave her kind of a
look. That was like, I support you.
I'm with you even after losing that, that tight to set her.
Yeah. And and then cause akina got
booed, which was a bummer because they perceived Kazakh.
Ynez not shaking Elliot has hand because she was pissed about the
what like that she was. She was programmed crowd, never
understood it. Entire tournament which is just
stupid. Like how France?
France come on as a crowd though?
I feel like we need a disappointing for the crowd.
Maybe we're just kind of an honorary the crowd at the French
Open, gets a disappointing because they were out of control
the whole time. Yeah, I like I like how though
they make themselves character in the term, you know.
Oh, they in the like we're not going to be ignored.
No, we're not going to be on the sidelines.
We might literally be on the sidelines, but we're not going
to be sidelined. Yeah, yeah.
We are going to be relevant. It's it's Glenn Close in Fatal
Attraction. I'm not going to be ignored.
Yeah, exactly. It's very that.
Okay, well, that category that's to disappoint, he's down and
congratulations to the winners, but also, it's just a dishonor
to be nominated. And so now on to our next
category, we've got worst quarter or semi-final individual
performance. Then we have three nominees for
this category, this category roles The tongue worst quarter
or semi individual performance. Yes.
It's you know it feels very in line with the Tonys.
It's like best featured actor. Individual know what I do.
You know what? Yeah it's a legitimate category
because there were a lot of really bad individual
performances. I'm, we could go to town on this
but the three nominees are Holger Rune and his quarterfinal
performance against Casper. Rude.
He Seemed completely disengaged in this match.
He was not interested. The first two sets, were over in
a blink, in a blink of a, I mean, to look Holger Rune.
He was, he was, he was definitely a front-runner.
He was the name on everyone's lips.
People were excited for him to take on Djokovic or alcaraz in
the final. And it was just, it was such a
poor outing, and he just looked like, he didn't care.
And one of the things that has really told him along the last
year and a half, as he's kind of had, this big explosion is like
how How much he is deter. He's a hater, hit his
competitiveness, his willingness to do anything, whatever it
takes to win. And any, I will say he did,
maybe it was just a poor tactics at the beginning of that match.
He did come back and win the third set.
The fourth set was a little more competitive.
I'm just saying it was a little odd because again, as you said
his competitiveness, yeah. Is one of his not, he did not
give any Frank's about being there.
The first two sets, he just did not care.
So our second nominee for worst quarter or semi, individual
performance is Stefano, Ceci pass.
Yikes is all I can say about his quarter-final against alcaraz
since he passed. Like we said, he could have
mathematically been the number one player in the world.
If he won the French Open he could have really insert himself
in the conversation he have We inserted himself, he
mathematically could have entered himself all over this
tour and I you know look I was captain of the math team growing
up. I was I was a mathlete.
Not only in athletes. I get down with some data.
Hmm. I'm Undateable even though I
like data, look, the first two sets for him were the worst
drubbing he'd ever gotten in a grand slam match.
And if he kept going in the third set, it was going to be
his worst loss ever. Her grandson.
He did make the third set a little more competitive even
though he's down to break. He like got back up, okay, went
to a tiebreaker, but it was again, it was like, okay, it was
never in doubt, you lose the first two sets like that to
think he was tired. Like he said he was tired
because he'd taken melatonin the night before due to some sleep
issues. But do you think Paola?
Maybe was I mean, what's he like out?
It was he like, at Pride? Like what?
Like, girl know, like look, you're about to play.
The quarterfinals, the number one player in the world like get
get your sleep together and that's not the night to
experiment with melatonin or a new position.
Our last at that breaks Powell is back.
Yeah, exactly. It's like, you know, killing two
birds with one bed and he so our final nominee is the women's
semi-final between stubble Inca and mokuba.
O m g and this is just for one specific part of the semi-final.
It's when it's a belenko was up 5-2 in the third set and then
just completely I think she maybe thought she won.
N and was in the locker room and was just like, okay, I'm
showering as milkovo rattles off five games with barely losing a
point. Do you think she was already
thinking about showering? Do you think she was like, like,
touching herself a little bit like, thinking about her Hirsch?
She's like, I go wash myself now.
Like, I don't know, like, just can't wait for that shower.
She was that shower. I mean, what the fuck happened?
She completely went away. She turned to the sub-link of
two years ago. She couldn't get a servant.
She couldn't hit a ball in. I don't think you're gonna agree
with me, but I think that that was more due to Mikvah.
Not letting up still, keeping your head down and coming back
and raising her level. Then Sabha Lanka crumbling.
I think it was a little bit of both, but I'm going to give a
little bit more weight to mooc of has performance then to Sabol
Lanka's, you know, Claps, but that that's my take, that's
fine, you know, we're allowed to have different takes.
That's what makes this democracy, beautiful.
You are wrong, but you're allowed to be wrong on this
podcast. So I'm voting for sissy pass as
worst quarter or semi individual performance.
Who are you voting for? And I am voting for Holger runet
as worst quarter or semi individual performance.
For this one, we are at a, we are at a standstill.
What we're going to do is we're going to do rock, paper,
scissors live. I've we're going to Rochambeau
and whoever wins gets to decide. Who wins this disappoint.
You so Billy. Are you ready?
Yes. Okay.
Let me see you. Put your hands in the in the in
the frame. Okay.
They're in the frame. Okay.
Ro sham bo you win. Yeah.
Okay, welcome Rock, crushes, scissors now, yeah.
Okay, that's it. So 60 pass.
Yeah, congratulations. You, you won something since you
pass. Graduate.
Enjoy your disappointing. Our next category is worst match
point and we only have one nominee who is by default the
winner and when I say default I should say double faults because
it is the women's final ended. You know a pretty freaking good
match between lukovitch fee on Tech and it ended with a double
fault from ooh covid-19. What a way to end this
tournament worst match point of the year, I'm going to say it.
Yeah. And it's you know I feel frigga
really because like she was ready to just celebrate.
Like she was ready to like squirrel to dance through the
clay to draw cartoons that red clay.
And instead she had to have a somewhat muted reaction because
of the double fault. And so honestly, hmm I feel for
her. Well it's one of things I was
like wait oh it's over. Oh you know exactly know she'd
one because it's uh yeah okay our next category is worst
Trend. So there have been a few things
that have popped up over the French Open or popped out or,
you know, made their way into the headlines.
And one of them is players pointing to Their heads.
Good Lord. Come and point my head right
now. Paul, what is it?
What does it look like? It looks like you are Katya from
drag race. Like when she kind is Abe
Lincoln and she like shot herself in the head because
that's what whenever they do that I'm like, oh you're just
shooting yourself in the head but what they're really doing is
they're showing I am strong mentally.
Yeah. But you know, if you if you do
that every time you win a set I mean it starts to lose its
power. our, it's become an epidemic and Are they saying
like, oh, hey, I use my brain. I'm mentally tough, I
implemented a strategy. I mean, this stuff used to be
sort of understood and now apparently that there needs to
be like a point to the brain to visually Demonstrate to
everybody that I think I use brain.
Yeah, it's very Crow Magnum. I want some players to start
pointing to other body parts. Oh yeah, mmm.
If you want to, if you want to match Billy, where would you
point? Not that you're going to win a
match. No, think about it.
I'm going to point to this part of my clavicle because it, it
always brings me luck. So, the other, the other worst
trend is gender reveal parties. Honestly, I didn't think that we
had to even say this in 2023, especially during a tennis
tournament, but I guess, I don't know to, to keep herself part of
the conversation. Naomi Osaka had a lovely Little
gender-reveal party because she is famously pregnant and we're
very excited and apparently she's going to have a little
princess. Well I mean first of all Naomi
you're doing this during Pride so it's extra charged with
intentional, it's more. Just the slogan that was on
there and all of that. Yeah, yeah, well did Naomi maybe
I've had like a rainbow rainbow flag colors, pop out of that
cake. And the gender would have been
like all genders. Like right.
Come on, a gender reveal then. Ya know, it's a gender
explosion. It's a gender.
There's an explosion of gender and her belly.
Yeah. What has she got in there?
Well, all I know is that her slogan?
A little princess is on the way. I mean, like, wait for the kid
to asked asked say I'm a princess, like you're already
saying oh, you're a princess, you're just Begging for a
Monster. Yeah.
Like to be in your stroller and saying what it's give me that
bottle, it's very like Pro monarchy like girl a princess.
It's like I I mean, come on like is she a colonist?
Like where's this coming from Naomi?
It doesn't, it doesn't feel like Naomi to do this.
It was just a weird thing. But maybe, maybe we don't know
Naomi as much as we thought we did that.
That's possible. And for that reason, I'm going
to say that worst trend. The award the disappoint e goes
to Naomi Osaka and gender reveal parties.
What's our next disappointing Paul?
Our next disappoint e is biggest.
Huh moment? You know the moment of the
tournament where we were just like wait, what?
What? And so the the first nominee is
Novak, Djokovic is chest implant.
What the hell is it? You know, he just Thing that,
that he kind of has cheekily talked about as this
nanotechnology, that helps them deliver his best on Court.
And he also says, you know, two reporters that without it, he
wouldn't be sitting here. He kind of talks about himself,
as being like, Iron Man with it. Like, wait, this is the guy who
won't get a vaccine, because he doesn't trust it, but then he's
got this patch of nanotechnology like it.
It's just so bizarre. And I'm also very surprised that
this was a loud Like wait, what? I mean this for there is a
Forbes headline that came out about he wins the French Open
claiming nanotechnology boosts, his Encore performance.
How is that? Not a performance-enhancing
thing? Not everyone has a titty booster
like what like what what we I would try it.
I try it once, at least like would you?
I would put that? What is called like the Tau
patch? Yeah yeah I know.
I'd slap it on for a little bit and see how it feels like.
Come on, what do you want to try it?
Paul. Sure.
But then everyone should it's like wait, wheres the Level
Playing Field or like because like okay then the next time
that I go out and play I'm gonna wear roller skates.
Apparently it try and draw it shot me then motherfucker.
You're gonna do cocaine like Martina Hingis in Richard
gasquet but you know what? Yeah why not.
Why is why is why is this nanotechnology allowed?
It's sort of like when Olympic swimmers, they all started
wearing those head-to-toe body suits with rivets in them to
make them go faster and then they're like oh wait this is
just all these records are being smashed because his body suit
not because the swimmers got better.
So why is he allowed to have some weird Iron Man esque Chest
implant that delivers him, nanotechnology that boosts his
performance. That doesn't make any sense to
me. It's a big huh?
It's a big under other nominee is you know, Of course everyone
knows in the women's doubles quarterfinals.
We had me. Okay to disqualified because she
struck a ball girl with a ball. Paul.
Can you explain what happened? Yeah so it was the end of the
game. They were changing sides and so
she lightly hit the ball back towards the ball kid because
that's what you're supposed to do.
You get rid of the balls that you're holding?
Yeah, but And she had put a nanotechnology patch on that
ball. So, it was like a heat-seeking.
Yeah. Turn it.
Turned that ball into a gender explosion, and it was just going
who knew, who knew it was gonna have to have it.
It's stabbed into that that poor ball girls neck.
Girl. And yeah.
And and and you know, our thoughts and our prayers go out
to his ball girl who because she was holding a ball in each hand
and she saw Another ball slowly, but we're talking about this
lower than Kasich. Kinas first, serve, coming
towards her. She froze, she couldn't get out
of the way. She couldn't do anything.
And so it hit her in the chest and she cried and you know what,
I've been her. You still are?
I've been her. I'm still her and you know,
balls coming towards you. You don't know which way to
look. I'm not.
I'm not crying because it hurts. I'm crying.
Because at least, I'm not crying because it hurts physically.
I'm crying because it hurts emotionally.
I'm embarrassed because I had a ball in each hand.
A third ball was coming to me. I didn't know how to catch it.
Because usually you're used to only two balls.
Sometimes there's a third and you know this is the balls in
pairs of two. This is the joke of its effect
but you know, because he memory hit that lines woman, famously
in 2020 and was disqualified. Now, if anyone like Taps
anything anywhere, they're all disqualified and so this team
got disqualified. It's like what?
But to be clear we understand the ball.
Go ball. Girl, she probably A again was
embarrassed. It's cerebus charm, 0 & Boos
covid, that was real questionable Sports person
person ship yes. And to me, therefore, that was
not a moment that was more like, mmm Omen.
No, so I'm giving this disappoint e, two jokers chest.
Implants now then. Yeah, to his third level, one
more category. Paul one more category.
This is, this is, I mean, I hear this from you every night.
This is like the ultimate category.
It's, this is the big prize of the night.
Gwyneth Paltrow was going to come on to present it.
But she had a last-minute conflict.
But this category for the last disappoint, he is worst men and
honestly the list could go on and on, but we Two nominees and
one right in. So we've got American men as one
nominee, we've gotten French men as the second nominee, hmm?
And then somebody wrote in the third nominee, all of my
boyfriend's which are both French and American, there's
only one way I can tell them apart, huh?
Don't know which way that is and poochie for skin.
But youthful skin, all that's, that's changing more and more
American men are uncut and more and more Frenchmen are double.
Our double uncut, dope. That's what a double entendre
is, its when? Yes, double uncut.
Yeah, yes. Yeah.
And so, you know, we've got the American men who it's an
anteater Trail of Tears, it's Aunt eater.
But yes, the American man, they could have done better, korto
TFO Fritz. All of that, you know, they just
didn't really show up again, not surprising.
Tommy Paul. My husband, look, we are on a
break, but Tommy, where did you go?
Where did you go, Tommy Paul? Yeah, I mean I think they all
tried but they all there were some Miss opportunities Court
especially losing that mashed match to opener.
UFO. Come on.
You could have taken out this pair of Fritz.
Maybe you shouldn't have made enemies with the French fans.
Although, you know, I kind of get it.
It kind of made me like, you better.
Yeah, but the Frenchman I mean, we'd had, we had more feasts
hair. We none of them were expected to
perform well, so they arguably overperformed simply by winning
a match, right? Or simply by taking a match to
Vice being there. Yeah, they do.
You got participation trophies? Yeah, I mean no Frenchmen.
Were even seated. I'll announce the winner.
It's by a snip. The winner is the American men.
Congratulations on your disappoint e for being the worst
men. And that has been the inaugural
edition of the disappoint. He's I could not have been more
honored to be a part of this Billy.
Anything else to say about the disappoint, he's the
disappointments. You know I've got those Nanobots
coursing through my bloodstream and I feel pretty good.
Yeah - you've never performed better on the court out of court
and Margaret caught Mack. So now we're coming to the end
of our latest episode. Folks once again it's been a
pleasure being with you Billy. You've never sounded better than
you've looked and we're going to close out like we always do with
our predictions because our predictions don't lie and our
lives cannot be predicted. So who's going to dominate the
grass courts? The Grass Court season was kind
of we're going from red to green red light, green, light Bing,
Bang, Boom, Billy, what do you see happening in the Grass Court
Season? I think that Rebecca is going.
Going to re-emerge on the women's side.
I think she's going and by re-emerge.
I mean, she just won the Italian Open, right?
You're going to get over that cold.
Is that we're saying? Yeah, and I think she's going to
repeat at Wimbledon. Think she's gonna take it.
I think also Petra kvitova might declare this her last
tournament. I hope that's not the case.
You know, I'm a huge Petra fan when my cat is named after Petra
and it would be sad but I just have heard some Rumblings and
grumblings and I think I think that that might be what's
happening, that would be so huge.
So if she retires. Are you going to rename your cat
or you just going to put your cat to sleep?
Well, you know, when players retire, they don't die there,
Delta me. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm
going to talk to my cat and say, you know, you might be evolving.
The this might be a new chapter, but you're not dead.
I, I'm interested in both of those storylines.
I'm also interested to see how mooc of has game.
It's to grasp because she has some skills at the net and
grass, courts are where that happens and, you know, on the
men's side, maybe it's going to be interesting.
Look, all the sudden kurios is back.
He's, he's kind of like, okay, I'm just going to show up and
start playing on grass. Now, I'm gonna skip the entire
clay-court season. I'm not taking my girlfriend to
Paris, like, I promised her, I would, and I don't know.
Maybe he's got another run in him.
Will see you. Like it's kind of, it's weird.
I think it would be unprecedented.
If a player can play a part time, I mean Super part-time
even Serena had a couple supercars, you played played
part-time, but like Kira, if curios just plays for a couple
months a year and is successful, that would be unprecedented.
I don't think it's gonna, I don't think he's like and he's
like a kid with like a summer job between semesters.
Like I said, oh, I'll play tennis know.
It's crazy, but, you know, I mean, I do love watching his
game. And I do love how he can really
frustrate Djokovic. So we'll see.
But I I think Djokovic is going to win Wimbledon.
I think that we are in this dark period that we are going to have
to find a way to find the light. And I my way is, I think it's
going to be fun, watching a goat, who is Thoroughly
unappreciated in his time. He's going to go through his
career. Never being loved, and I'm glad
that we're not alone. Billy in understanding that.
He's kind of trash. My, I don't know if it's my
heart speaking or my head speaking.
Point to your body were speaking.
Okay. That's your but that's your
third ball. So how am I?
I I I do think that this achievement by Novak, he might
be somewhat exhausted. He might be like a I think he
might actually finally be like, oh, I can take like a little
breather because it's frankly very unlikely.
He's going. To be surpassed in The Next
Century Millennium. So now, maybe by next year, I am
what my yeah. Rafa Rafa plays next year, wins.
All the tournaments Margaret. Court comes back.
Yeah. Well, those are predictions that
you can start putting money down on now.
The Grass Court season is just warming up.
The grass is greener. This is back.
The Venus is greener and we are going to see what happens and we
will tell you all about it on the next episode.
As always, it's been my great pleasure to spend time with you
mr. Billy Hanson.
And all the Cheapo monk home. I love when you call me by my
name. All right.
See y'all soon. Say goodbye.
Billy. Goodbye Billy.