1 00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:03,800 You're listening test. She said what with your host 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,600 Alyssa Harper. Hello everybody. 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,700 Welcome back to. She said, what if you have not 4 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:09,600 been here before then? Oh my God, welcome. 5 00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:11,500 Oh my God, it's so nice to have you here. 6 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,700 And if you have been here before then, welcome back. 7 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:16,300 Bitch. Whats up today, I'm going to be 8 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:19,700 talking about different myths that I used to believe about 9 00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:21,800 sex, that obviously don't believe anymore, but at one 10 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,200 point like, I genuinely believe these things and these are 11 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,400 things that I would hope that you don't believe. 12 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,700 And if you do, then I'm here to educate you and encourage you. 13 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,300 And let you know what's up. So I actually made it to talk 14 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:36,100 recently about this and I talked about five different myths and I 15 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:39,300 am going to be talking about those five today and sharing the 16 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,900 stories and all the little extra things that I wanted to say in 17 00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,500 The Tick-Tock. But I can't because it's like a 18 00:00:43,508 --> 00:00:46,300 three minute video and then I'm also going to be adding on a 19 00:00:46,308 --> 00:00:49,000 bonus to at the end which is super exciting because both of 20 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,500 these I was like man I wish I would have included this in The 21 00:00:51,508 --> 00:00:54,100 Tick-Tock and they kind of have to do with some of the questions 22 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,500 I was getting from you guys in the comments as well. 23 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,800 So let's get right into it. Enjoy the today's episode. 24 00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:07,900 As per usual, I'm going to give you that weekly update. 25 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:13,000 First of all, I just want to say today, I feel so good little T 26 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,700 on this episode and The Tick Tock that I posted yesterday. 27 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:19,800 So the video I posted yesterday I posted it. 28 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:24,200 Last night are like yesterday afternoon ish and I posted it 29 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:28,000 and within like 15 20 minutes. It had like a thousand likes and 30 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,200 I was like fuck. Yeah. 31 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,100 Like This is gonna go great. People are going to love this 32 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,300 shit like, you know, you got excited when people like your 33 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:37,000 shit because you know, you work really hard and then if people 34 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,500 don't really like it, it's like okay. 35 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,800 Well, you know, it's fine because I created it, I'm so 36 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,500 proud of it. And at the end of the day, I 37 00:01:42,508 --> 00:01:44,900 just want to create things that I'm, you know, proud of, and I 38 00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:47,900 made, because I enjoyed making it and, you know, whatever. 39 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,400 But you also want to help people and like, especially if I'm 40 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,900 sharing about things where I'm like, this is tips on how to do 41 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,800 this thing. If I'm just talking to myself 42 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,400 then I don't know. I'm kind of like, what the fuck 43 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,400 am I doing? So I hope that people like my 44 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,300 shit. Whatever. 45 00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:03,100 I don't need to explain myself. Um, anyways, I was excited that 46 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:07,400 I was doing well, and then Tick Tock flagged it for sexual 47 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,700 exploitation, which is not true. It came back eventually and 48 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:14,600 everything's all fine now. But at first, I was so pissed 49 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,700 off and I was like, what the fuck like what is going on? 50 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,500 I have to appeal it. You don't know how long it's 51 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:23,300 going to take and I was like so frustrated and they made me so 52 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:26,300 anxious yesterday. And I was just like, why? 53 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:29,000 Because I actually worked on that video for like four hours 54 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:31,700 which sounds really Oculus. But like, by the time, you like 55 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:34,900 recorded a bunch and like edit it and like, you know, obviously 56 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:37,100 plan it like kind of scripted and like, come up with, like, 57 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:38,600 you know, what, you want to say roughly? 58 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,600 It's a whole thing, it's the whole project. 59 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,900 And yeah, it's just pretty shit when like you are censored by 60 00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:47,000 social media. And like you can't talk about 61 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,500 things that fucking need to be talked about. 62 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:51,300 So that was frustrating yesterday and I was so irritable 63 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,700 and poor Sam my partner. I he came home and I just like 64 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:57,400 went off on him and he was like, I didn't do anything and I was 65 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,700 like, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm anxious. 66 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,600 I had to apologize because you always have to apologize. 67 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,600 Make sure you apologize, guys. Actually say sorry if you don't 68 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,100 know what the 4-step apology then let's just go through a 69 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,700 quick little run down. You apologize, you say what 70 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:13,300 you're apologizing for you, tell them what you're going to do 71 00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:15,600 different next time and you ask them if there's anything else 72 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:19,200 that you can do to follow up on your apology or like make the 73 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,300 situation better. So that's how you actually 74 00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:22,800 apologized in relationships. Hot tip. 75 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,700 All right. Anyways, I did that. 76 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:29,200 And yeah, I felt like shit and I was just pissed off and last 77 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,000 night before bed. And I was like doing my 78 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,300 five-minute Journal which I told you guys that I've been doing 79 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,700 and I was like it's so hard right now to be positive because 80 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,200 you have to write down three things that I like your 81 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,600 highlights of the day and I was like this is so hard and I 82 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,800 literally was like, Ki need to stay positive, I need to stay 83 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,200 positive, like I talk my shit all the time I was talked about 84 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:50,400 like, you know, figuring out how to get through like negative, 85 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,800 automatic thoughts and all that bullshit. 86 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,100 But like, if I don't actually do it like when what am I doing? 87 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,900 You know. And so I literally wrote at the 88 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,500 bottom of the page. I was like I'm gonna wake up 89 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,700 tomorrow morning. The video is going Back up and 90 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:04,700 it's going to have 100,000 views and I was like, like I even had 91 00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,100 Sam come into the room and I said, I had this feeling. 92 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,700 I was like, I should say to him. What I just wrote down, and I 93 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:12,100 was like, I'm embarrassed. That's so like, whatever. 94 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,300 What if I wake up and it's not back up and it's not this and 95 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,100 it's not that, like, that's so embarrassing. 96 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:20,899 Like, I don't want him to think that I'm just dumb and like, I 97 00:04:20,899 --> 00:04:22,800 guess, like manifesting or whatever you want to call it, 98 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:26,700 like believing that when you speak things out, you know, when 99 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,300 I talk my shit and say that, that works that now I'm saying 100 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:31,700 that that doesn't Don't work if I say this to Sam and then it 101 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:34,300 doesn't happen, you know? And I was like you know, fuck it 102 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,200 and I actually said it to him and I know that sounds weird 103 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,900 because like Samsung partner and like we've been together for 104 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:41,100 years and years but still it can be like that barrier where 105 00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,400 you're like oh do I actually trust like that? 106 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,900 This thing or like is going to happen or like that? 107 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:48,400 You know, whether you want to say, it's like the universe like 108 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,700 has my back or like you know, things just work out for me, 109 00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:53,800 whatever it is. I have those beliefs that I 110 00:04:53,808 --> 00:04:55,900 really want to just like keep instilling and keep reminding 111 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:59,300 myself of anyways. Woke up this morning at 5:00 112 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:03,400 a.m. because Teaching Pilates today and I woke up and it was 113 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,800 back on my page and it literally had 99.7. 114 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:11,200 I think thousand views and I literally was like and I was so 115 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,000 excited. I like refresh the page a few 116 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,700 times and then it finally got to like 100. 117 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:17,700 I was like, oh my God and I went and showed Sam and it was just 118 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:20,800 really cool because I was like fuck yeah like this is why we do 119 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,000 this shit, you know? I mean like I don't just come on 120 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,500 here to tell you guys about like why I do like gratitude like 121 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:29,400 visualization or whatever just to like get an episode out, you 122 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,100 know that In like iced, I tell you to do it because it means a 123 00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:34,900 lot to me and because I think it's really, really important. 124 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:38,200 So anyways, that's just kind of like was a really cool highlight 125 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,800 of the last 24 hours and I've just been in the best mood, like 126 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,300 all day taught, really great classes this morning and just 127 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,700 felt really like confident about them and like, people had a fun 128 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:48,400 time and you know, it's good vibes, good consistent clients 129 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,700 that I have all the time, so that's nice. 130 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,500 And then I did a class and then I went for a little bit of a 131 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:55,900 shop in Bondi Junction and that was fun. 132 00:05:55,900 --> 00:06:00,700 That was like outside Bondi Beach and yeah, I Bro. 133 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,500 Okay, this is not meant to be a flex because I kind of think 134 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:07,100 this is dumb, but I spent like $80 on a water bottle, which 135 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,100 sounds like a lot of money, but it's like a little, I don't know 136 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,100 how to say it. Like corkle or some shit like 137 00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:13,500 that. I don't know, but it's lime 138 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,500 green and it's big and it's so cute. 139 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,400 And I'm obsessed with it. And I've been like, like, 140 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,300 literally drinking water all day and I like feel like I've needed 141 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,400 to spend money on like a good water bottle that. 142 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,900 I actually like that actually has a little sippy that I 143 00:06:24,907 --> 00:06:27,600 actually want to sip from like, you know, not to be crazy, but 144 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,700 I'm very particular about the things that I want in my life. 145 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,000 Life. And for a long time, I had a, 146 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:34,600 what's it called? Oh, and Nalgene. 147 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,400 I don't know if you know, I'm talking about bits like that 148 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:39,300 bottle with like the big round Mouth Circle thingy. 149 00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:40,900 Like, you have to just sit out of it, like, you're stepping out 150 00:06:40,907 --> 00:06:43,400 of a cup, it doesn't do it for me. 151 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,900 It really does not do it for me. And so I'm very excited that I 152 00:06:45,907 --> 00:06:48,900 got a nice new water bottle. And then I just got some other 153 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:52,600 shit that I needed to pick up some like new curly curl cream 154 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:53,900 for my hair. Because my hair has been fucking 155 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,900 curly as shit recently because of the humidity because it's hot 156 00:06:56,900 --> 00:07:01,800 as balls in Australia right now and So I had a really good day. 157 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,200 Honestly, such a good day and tonight I'm hanging out with 158 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,600 faith my bestie and so I'm super excited. 159 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,500 So that's my little wrap-up and my little update for you. 160 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,500 Sorry that went on longer than I meant it to. 161 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,300 Okay, let's get into it. Five myths about sex that I once 162 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,300 genuinely believe. These are things that I would 163 00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:23,700 have picked up from, I would say, like mainstream porn, like 164 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:27,200 media, like movies, social media, all that, you know, and 165 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,900 then just like, chatting with my friends and whatnot and the And 166 00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:34,000 I point out specifically mainstream porn is because there 167 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,200 are other options when it comes to porn. 168 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,300 And I talked about this in the video that I posted on Tick-Tock 169 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:43,000 and no, this is not sponsored, but I just Will shout them out 170 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,400 anyways, because they're amazing, there's this company 171 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,300 called Afterglow and it's actually, if you look it up, 172 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:56,600 it's XO Afterglow.com and they do ethical porn and they also do 173 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,700 it from a female perspective, like female gaze porn. 174 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:02,000 Is mean that's like literally from the few more games like as 175 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:07,300 if like it's from the eyes of a woman, but it's like, based on 176 00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:11,700 what like women would typically like or, you know, women also 177 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:16,000 extends further on from, you know, into many other types of 178 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,800 people. But that is just saying it's not 179 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:23,000 specifically male gaze the way that most mainstream porn is and 180 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,800 I just love it. I love it so good. 181 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,900 It's so real. I personally am not a huge 182 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:32,299 Watcher of porn. Anyways, because I feel like 183 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,799 masturbation orgasm. All of that is really, really 184 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:37,200 powerful. And I personally, in like my 185 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:40,799 personal practice like to use it more as like, actually genuinely 186 00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:43,900 like a tool for manifestation, which I can totally make an 187 00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,400 episode on if you guys want to hear about that. 188 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,700 But I just kind of think it's a bit TMI and you probably don't 189 00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:52,300 want to hear about it, but I use it really more for like 190 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:55,800 self-care and like being like really mindful of what's 191 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,400 happening in my brain at that time and yeah, for like literal 192 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,500 manifestation and so I don't love it because I think it can 193 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:04,100 be a distraction but the same time, sometimes it can be good 194 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,200 if you just like want something like get you going, you know, 195 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,200 and you're just like wanting to kind of like shut off a little 196 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,200 bit mentally as well. Like, it's like when you want to 197 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,000 sit down and like, watch a TV show, you know, I mean, that's 198 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,400 kind of how media is. So, anyways, that's really good 199 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,500 option if you guys are interested by the way, and also 200 00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,000 it's really important about it is, it's ethical. 201 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,800 So it means that the people that are in the videos and whatnot, 202 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,300 like they're actually getting paid and they're getting paid 203 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:31,300 fairly and there's consent. Involved and the actors, and 204 00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,700 everybody are like protected and safe. 205 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:37,200 And yeah, so it's really cool because personally, I'm at a 206 00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:41,500 point where I'm just not able to watch porn that is not ethical 207 00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:44,400 like anything on like pornhub or whatever. 208 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,500 I don't know how to want to say too much because I feel like I 209 00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:49,200 don't want to like, you know, be censored or whatever but I just 210 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,800 want to be mindful of that because I think it's really 211 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,800 really important. And yeah, it just like to having 212 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,500 a good conscience and like knowing that you're making 213 00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:59,700 choices where they're not selfish to what you want. 214 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,900 In fulfilling your needs with their actually like for the 215 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:06,100 greater good and like you're supporting small business and 216 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,000 all that kind of shit like to me that's really important. 217 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,300 And so, yeah, anyways, this is where pick up a lot of these 218 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,900 things is, like, mainstream porn and then all the movies and all 219 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,100 the things that we see Growing Up. 220 00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:19,800 So number one, the first myth, this was really interesting 221 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:24,100 actually, that like a fast and hard sex equals good sex. 222 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:28,000 I always thought this when I was younger, obviously, that's not 223 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,500 true. Some of the best sex in your 224 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:31,900 life. It can be very slow, very 225 00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:35,100 intimate. Very like, maybe potentially, 226 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:39,000 not even penetrative sex like penis to vagina sex or even like 227 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:42,300 penetration using other things. Otherwise depending on what your 228 00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,800 partner and you are like and what kind of Parts, you know, 229 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,100 you're working with. But I used to think this and I 230 00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:52,600 do think porn would be like a huge, huge inspo on this one, 231 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:58,600 but I also just think that we think like sex is this intense 232 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,600 thing in like, You're taught that it's a shameful thing or if 233 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,000 it's like a bad thing you think? Like I like it's bad it's dirty, 234 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,600 its intense like you associate it with like these this like 235 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:13,400 intensity whereas like sex doesn't it can be that and again 236 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:18,100 fast sex quote, unquote hard sex, intense sex, even kinky 237 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,900 sex. That's not dirty at all. 238 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:25,600 That's not bad at all but it's not also not necessarily going 239 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,600 to mean that it's better. The more it is of all of those 240 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,500 things and I think, That's really important because as much 241 00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:34,800 as all share about on the podcast, like you know, how to 242 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,300 have like more interesting sex or like, how does change things 243 00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:41,200 up? It doesn't mean that it's better 244 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:45,100 to have, you know, kinky sex. It's not better to try different 245 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,600 things. All the time, if you and your 246 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,900 partner are happy to have like the most vanilla chill, whatever 247 00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:54,700 sex then do that, like, do what you want to do, you know, 248 00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:59,000 there's no shame either a either way, whichever way you go and 249 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,800 those stories. Lives to tell about with this 250 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,800 one, which I thought was really funny. 251 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:05,500 It was I remember when I was younger I would have been like, 252 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,600 pretty young like, probably like 11 or 12 or something, 253 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,600 potentially honestly, even younger because I literally knew 254 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,300 nothing about sex. Like, I knew very, very, very 255 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:20,700 little about sex. So, yeah, I would say maybe even 256 00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:24,300 younger and I went to Great Wolf Lodge, which is in Niagara 257 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,500 Falls, which is I'm from Niagara. 258 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,600 So if any of you've been a Great Wolf Lodge, let me know. 259 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:33,000 No, this is probably not relatable, but Great Wolf Lodge 260 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:38,600 and it's like this, like hotel. If, you know, a group of lodges 261 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:41,300 you probably are laughing because this is hard to explain 262 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:45,000 is based off of, like a cabin. That's kind of like the decor. 263 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,500 If you will, is like a cabin and like, every night, they have 264 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:51,000 this, like show in like the lobby, and it's like a bunch of 265 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,100 animals and like it kind of teaches you about like animals 266 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:56,700 and shit, I don't know. It sounds so Canadian which is 267 00:12:56,700 --> 00:13:00,600 also just so funny to me and they have a Huge water park. 268 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,600 This is another part of it. It's the fucking shit is so 269 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,400 sick. Like, it's actually take me 270 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,400 there. Take me there. 271 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,000 Now, I want to go there, but yeah, it's a lot of fun. 272 00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:11,900 They also have this really cool water slide that has like like 273 00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,000 these. It's kind of like, a roller 274 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,500 coaster Vibe. Like it, like takes you up on 275 00:13:14,508 --> 00:13:16,800 these like little belt. Oh my God, that shit slapped so 276 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,200 hard. Also, my mom paid my cousin. 277 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,400 When we were younger, she paid him like 50 bucks to go on this 278 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,000 water slide because he was really scared. 279 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,200 And my mom convinced him, my mom's always done that. 280 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,600 Also, she literally paid Sam 50 bucks like two years ago. 281 00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,400 Go to eat a snail, like to eat escargot because he was too 282 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,200 scared. So, shout out to my mom for 283 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,600 being a fucking roller. What's the word Bank roller? 284 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,400 I don't know. She's just cool. 285 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,100 She's cool. She just lives her best life and 286 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,600 she's a fun time. She's also an accountant to be 287 00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:45,900 clear. So she's also careful with her 288 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:49,600 money and she's not actually like crazy rich or anything. 289 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,400 She's just a good time. Anyways, why am I going on this 290 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,300 tangent? We're going back. 291 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:56,900 KY my girls watch sat down with these two guys and I'm with like 292 00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:58,900 two of my friends. Have try to remember who I was 293 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:01,000 with theirs. Named Rachel and then another 294 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,100 girl and we were all like besties at the time and we'd 295 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,000 been friends since like kindergarten and we're sat with 296 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,200 these two guys that we met and they were a bit older like I 297 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,500 want to say that they were like not in high school like it 298 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,700 wasn't like an inappropriate age like that much older than us but 299 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:17,400 they're probably like 15 or something like you know like a 300 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,500 few years so they would know you know more about sex I think of 301 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:24,100 like a teenage boy like 15 16 years old, right? 302 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:28,500 And we're all sad around in this like Lobby talking and we the 303 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,200 parents weren't around and remember we got into like these 304 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,900 bad topics and we all knew that we were like talking about bad 305 00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:37,100 stuff and he was telling us that his parents owned a sex shop and 306 00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:40,800 we were like, no way because we had no idea what actually was 307 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,700 like in them, you know, and he's talking to us about it. 308 00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,000 And so we started asking me all these questions about sex and 309 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,600 it's really funny because you know what? 310 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,400 They were a bit older. They weren't over 18 obviously 311 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:54,300 they were younger than that. But it was funny because we 312 00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:58,100 didn't like no stuff. And so we wanted to ask him, all 313 00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,600 these questions him, his friends, we started asking. 314 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,900 Him. Anyways, we asked him what is 315 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,600 better when it comes to sex slow or fast. 316 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,000 Like we just thought in our little teeny little brains that 317 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,600 like sex was either slow or fast. 318 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,300 There was like two options and think you had to choose like, 319 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,000 you know, you meet up with someone you like shake hands and 320 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,800 you like go like three, two, one. 321 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,300 And on one you both say other faster slow. 322 00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:21,800 And like if it matches you have sex, like genuinely like Dennis. 323 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,200 Like this is the kind of shit that I used to think. 324 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,100 Okay my brain was I was dumb. All right, that's all I'm gonna 325 00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:29,400 say about that. I was dumb point being that. 326 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:34,200 I he was like like neither I don't know like you know they're 327 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,500 both good. I guess it's kind of like a mix 328 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,700 of both like you don't ever really have like one or the 329 00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:40,100 other. I don't you know I don't think. 330 00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:43,300 And that was the first time that I was like oh wow that's 331 00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,600 interesting. Okay you can have both okay but 332 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:50,200 I still didn't understand and I still thought that the harder 333 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:54,900 you know the faster the better turns out that's not true and 334 00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:58,200 yes slow it down slow your shit down because it's nice. 335 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:02,700 Alright number two Myth number two, is that it's awkward to ask 336 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:07,000 for consent. This one is really interesting 337 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,700 because I used to think this and I thought this for a long time 338 00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:13,600 to be honest, like, quite a while where I would say, you 339 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,300 know, II, think consents important. 340 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:18,500 But I was one of those people where I'd be like but you know 341 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:22,500 sometimes it's like assumed like if you just if you have sex with 342 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:25,000 a person all the time and like you know, blah, blah blah, blah, 343 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,100 blah, like it's just, it's fine turns out, it's not. 344 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,200 Okay, let's just clarify That consent is like always 345 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:35,400 necessary. And I would say that, you know, 346 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,600 the way you ask for consent obviously is like up to you and 347 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,600 your partner's like obviously up to the discretion of you. 348 00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,700 For example, the way that I would want someone to ask for my 349 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:50,300 consent now who is like not Sam. It would be very different to 350 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:54,300 how Sam would ask me. So, you know, if Sam looks at me 351 00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:56,500 and is, like, what are you thinking about tonight? 352 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,200 You know, and like, gives me a wink. 353 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,900 I know what that means. Out. 354 00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:03,300 Like, it's not like he needs to be like, can I have sex with 355 00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,700 you? Would you like to kiss? 356 00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:06,400 Like it's very different. Okay. 357 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:09,599 But someone who I don't know very well, I would want them, 358 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,700 you know, to ask me, is this okay? 359 00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:14,500 Is this? All right, do you want to do 360 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,900 this? Do you want to do that? 361 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,099 Do you like this? Do you like that? 362 00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:22,400 You know, and like really ask for consent in a way that shows 363 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,599 that they're asking for consent and I think this is so important 364 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:30,100 and so sexy, like when someone shows you You that they're 365 00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:33,100 educated, when someone shows you that they care about your 366 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:37,500 pleasure when someone shows you that they're interested in your 367 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:40,600 wants and your needs. It's the bare fucking minimum, 368 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:44,100 let's be clear, but it is attractive. 369 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:46,700 It's very sexy. It's very like a luring and I 370 00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:49,800 think it is so valuable. And I think when people say 371 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:54,100 things like asking for consent is awkward, it's like a cop-out. 372 00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:57,000 Like, I really think at this point, if you're not at a place 373 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,500 where you're able to be like, oh yeah, consent is necessary. 374 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,100 Sorry then like what the fuck you doing? 375 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:02,300 Like, you shouldn't be having sex. 376 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,900 That's all I'm going to say, okay, we're at the point now 377 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:08,900 where we expect especially men, not especially men but I would 378 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:12,700 say, do you know, we know statistically that it's 379 00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:16,500 typically going to be men that are sexually harassing or 380 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:21,700 hurting or abusing women. We are definitely expecting them 381 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:25,600 to be educated on this and if they're not be clear that you've 382 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:29,500 noticed that they haven't asked for your consent and make sure 383 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,400 Sure that you are being aware of this because it really does show 384 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,100 you where they're at. I just think it's so so 385 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:40,000 necessary and I think it's fucking hot and I don't see why 386 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:44,800 people don't do this on a regular basis, you know, because 387 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,600 it's stupid, if you don't. All right. 388 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:50,200 Now, some of you in The Tick-Tock, comments were asking 389 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,800 how to ask for consent in a sexy way. 390 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,400 And this is a really, really great question and props to you 391 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,900 for asking these things and wondering these things and like 392 00:18:57,900 --> 00:18:59,900 actually being like, ok, cool. How can I apply this? 393 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,900 I would say. First of all is there's a lot of 394 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,700 ways to do this. So don't feel like that's just 395 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,600 one way, you know? Yes. 396 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,400 Of course, when you sit there and you say to someone can I 397 00:19:09,408 --> 00:19:12,100 have sex with you? That's not the sexiest way of 398 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:15,600 doing it. But telling somebody, you know, 399 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,100 I would love to have sex with you. 400 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,600 What do you think about that? That is a thing, you know, 401 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,400 that's a part of it. I love that. 402 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,200 Someone saying to you like oh my God, I would, I want to kiss you 403 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,000 so bad right now, you know what I mean? 404 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,400 And then the way that you respond to, that is a clear 405 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,700 indicator of what you're thinking. 406 00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:37,600 If that means you lean in and kiss them, then you kiss them. 407 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,800 If that means that, you know, they say, I would love to kiss 408 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,600 you right now. And you say, all right, that's 409 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,000 fine. Are like, yeah, we could do that 410 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,800 or like, you know, I mean you say something cute and chill 411 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,700 like that. It's fucking cute. 412 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:52,100 Like are you kidding me? Like I love it and I feel like 413 00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:55,000 that's so good and especially as you're continuing that 414 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,200 experience with somebody. So like if then something comes 415 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:02,600 up and this is actually something that happened a while 416 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:07,400 back where somebody had said to me, do you like to be choked? 417 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,700 And I like honestly out of context? 418 00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:13,000 I would think that that's a little bit like, oh I do you 419 00:20:13,008 --> 00:20:16,400 like in the moment y'all in the moment? 420 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,900 Oh my God. Okay, this is, these are the 421 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:20,700 kind of things. These are the kinds of things, 422 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,900 okay? That if they do it, I'm telling 423 00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:25,700 you. It is going to be the best for 424 00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:27,500 you in the world. It's gonna, it's gonna be the 425 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,900 best and if you do it it's also going to turn them on so much. 426 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:34,200 So like lean into that, do that because that shit fucking slaps. 427 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:39,100 All right, we're moving on. I don't mean to overstep or get 428 00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:42,900 B to TMI but there you go. Number three, your stomach 429 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:45,100 should be flat. Your skin should be clear and 430 00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:47,200 you must be shaven or no one will want to. 431 00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:51,500 I have sex with you. Obviously, this is a lie, this 432 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,900 is a myth. And the reason I say this one 433 00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:57,300 and I think it's so important is because when I was younger, I 434 00:20:57,300 --> 00:21:01,400 dead-ass used to think this like before I would go and like have 435 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,300 an experience with somebody, I would literally have the 436 00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:09,000 craziest hot girls shower hello. Hot girls shower and the world 437 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,900 like an hour and like shave. Every little part of me and like 438 00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:15,600 literally these I don't know if this is because like OCD or 439 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,200 what, but I would literally take a miracle. 440 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:20,600 Like look at my hoo-ha in my mirror and I would like look for 441 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,800 every teeny little individual hair and I was like, I swear to 442 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,300 God, if there's even a single hair, I would like take my Razor 443 00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:28,200 and I would like get past it. Like I was like us. 444 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:33,800 Psycho like, aside go, you don't need to do this, you don't need 445 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,800 to do this. Why, why? 446 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,900 Like, you don't need to Coffee scrub, your whole body for them 447 00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,400 to want to like me, lick, you like, they should want to lick 448 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,300 you. Anyways, you know, I mean, and 449 00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:47,100 if you are with somebody who does care about those things, 450 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:51,600 Things like is like I would prefer if you were shaven down 451 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,100 there. Like fuck that guy fucked up 452 00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:55,500 person. Are you joking? 453 00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:59,300 Like you're hot like you. They don't deserve you if that's 454 00:21:59,300 --> 00:22:01,500 how they're gonna be like, that's so fucked. 455 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,600 Yeah, it's your choice. It's so your choice and yes, be 456 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,500 cleanly, yes, take care of yourself. 457 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,600 Like, yes, you know, maybe have a little shower before you go 458 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,500 over, if it's like a booty call, you know, surely, you know, 459 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:17,100 you'd want to do that for like your sake there. 460 00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:21,700 Like everyone, you know, it's great but at the end of the day, 461 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,200 all those little things, like the things that are just your 462 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,500 body and like body autonomy, and the things that are like yours 463 00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:35,200 to choose like, you know, your hair and then even things as 464 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:38,500 well, like your skin or your weight or things that like you 465 00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:42,400 know you don't even really choose mostly and things to do 466 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,300 with how you appear to that person. 467 00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:47,100 Don't worry about those things being perfect Force. 468 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,900 Sex. Like, I even realized this 469 00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:53,900 recently, that even with Sam and we've been together for like, 470 00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:56,200 what? Three years now at least? 471 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,000 Yeah. Like three and a half years. 472 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,300 I literally sometimes he'll come home from work and if I've 473 00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:03,400 already like taking off my makeup and I'm kind of like 474 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,500 relaxed into myself for the day. I'm less likely to want to have 475 00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:10,700 sex with him because I feel like, oh, I'm not like a sexy, 476 00:23:10,700 --> 00:23:13,900 like I don't look as sexy and it's interesting because I've, 477 00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:16,300 this is me guys, I'm all over this shit. 478 00:23:16,300 --> 00:23:17,200 I'm talking about this shit all the time. 479 00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:20,500 I'm like you think that I would be like you know. 480 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,700 So confident know like everyone has moments like this. 481 00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:27,500 Everyone feels like this from time to time and if you feel 482 00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:30,500 like this, just know that you are not alone and this is just 483 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:34,600 so normal in such a human experience, but when someone is 484 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:39,300 literally penetrating you, they're not looking at your cute 485 00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:41,100 little rolls on your tummy, okay? 486 00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:43,400 So just chill. It's all gonna be fine. 487 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,800 You are beautiful like, genuinely, tried to work through 488 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,200 that. If that's something that you're 489 00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:52,000 dealing with because the more you realize that you do it, the 490 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,500 more you're able to break it down and then the more often 491 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,400 you're going to feel like sexy and like want to have sex. 492 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,600 And I think a lot of people think that they struggle with 493 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,100 their libido and it's not that they actually struggle with like 494 00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:07,200 their hormones, or their libido on like a health level. 495 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,300 But they really just struggle with the ability to feel sexy 496 00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:13,700 because of all the bullshit lies that we hear within our society 497 00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:16,400 and I feel like it's so important that we work through a 498 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,700 lot of that. Um, getting ourselves to a place 499 00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:21,000 where we are self-loving and getting to ourselves. 500 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,500 A place to hello getting ourselves to a place where we 501 00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:30,400 like genuinely love how we are when we were just like raw and 502 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:34,200 like no makeup and like frizzy ass hair and like, you know, 503 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,500 sweatpants and all that shit. Like it's actually so hot and so 504 00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:41,000 fun. But you have to get used to that 505 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,000 over time and try to break down those barriers. 506 00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:47,000 And another tip about that actually quickly before we move 507 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:51,400 on On is tell your partner that you feel that way because I am 508 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:55,200 so sure that they're going to be like, oh my God, no, I love you 509 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,300 and sweat pants. Oh my God. 510 00:24:56,300 --> 00:24:57,500 No, I love. You know what? 511 00:24:57,500 --> 00:25:00,300 Sam says to me, he's like I hate when I come home and when you're 512 00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:02,800 wearing makeup because you don't let me touch your face. 513 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,800 Like I can't like I can't really hug you properly. 514 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,200 Like you're sitting there with your face off of me when you hug 515 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,300 me. Like it's like the least 516 00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:12,300 intimate thing in the world. Like he loves when I come home 517 00:25:12,300 --> 00:25:14,700 and he comes home and like I'm like, chilling. 518 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,100 And I just like, I'm just base level comfy. 519 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:21,000 Because like that's how he feels comfy with me because he knows I 520 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,500 might comfiest. And yeah, so it's really really 521 00:25:23,500 --> 00:25:26,400 important to also tell the people that you're with so that 522 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,500 they can encourage you and just be honest with them, that you 523 00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:32,700 feel that way because it can be a thing that they think oh you 524 00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:34,900 don't want to have sex with me but it's not sometimes that you 525 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:37,000 don't have sex with them. It's that you don't feel like 526 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,800 they would want to have sex with you or you don't feel like sexy 527 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,400 and that's really important just to think about and like reflect 528 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,500 on. All right. 529 00:25:43,700 --> 00:25:47,600 Number four. When the man comes the X is 530 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,500 over. Oh my God. 531 00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:54,500 Okay, this one is the worst. I fucking hate this shit when he 532 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:57,300 comes and then he goes. I'm not saying that Sam does 533 00:25:57,300 --> 00:25:58,700 this because he absolutely does not. 534 00:25:58,700 --> 00:26:02,000 But this this was a thing for me, you know, for a long time he 535 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,200 comes and then he goes. Did you come? 536 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,800 You know, and we see that shit and movies and like whatever all 537 00:26:06,808 --> 00:26:08,500 the time. What the fuck do you mean? 538 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:12,800 Did I come not yet bitch like we're not done. 539 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,000 What do you mean like? I just I don't like it. 540 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,800 I hate it so much. It's Bad. 541 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:24,000 And it really is just a clear example of how we prioritize 542 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,500 male pleasure within our society, and men getting the 543 00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:30,500 things that they want out of the situations that they're in. 544 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:35,000 And genuinely it being the norm to not prioritize female 545 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,600 pleasure and any of the bullshit excuses of like all because it's 546 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:42,300 too hard or it's harder to make a woman come or it's blah blah 547 00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:44,100 blah blah. I do not give a fuck. 548 00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:47,500 The point is that you care about the pleasure between the Two of 549 00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:49,500 you and that you both experienced pleasure. 550 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:54,600 This doesn't mean that the woman or the vulva owner, or whoever 551 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,700 has to come, nobody has to come sex, can be whatever you want it 552 00:26:57,700 --> 00:27:00,700 to be. And the goal of sex isn't 553 00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:05,800 necessarily to come, but if you want to come, your partner 554 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,100 should be aware of that and should be actively putting in 555 00:27:09,100 --> 00:27:13,200 effort and to make sure that you come like they should be happy 556 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:17,000 to set aside, the time to learn what you like to do. 557 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:21,600 Watch, you do things to yourself, to teach them how to 558 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,800 do that. They should be very happy, very 559 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,900 confident to use a toy to do anything that you want, 560 00:27:27,900 --> 00:27:30,300 obviously them consenting as well, do this, but doing 561 00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:34,000 anything that you want to be able to experience that pleasure 562 00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:38,300 and if for whatever reason, they don't want to do things to help 563 00:27:38,300 --> 00:27:41,800 you have pleasure because it takes too long or you don't need 564 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,900 to use a toy. You have me babe, any of that 565 00:27:43,900 --> 00:27:45,400 bullshit. Fuck that. 566 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,900 Okay, that person is. Not educated. 567 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:50,800 That person is not prioritizing your pleasure. 568 00:27:50,900 --> 00:27:53,900 Yes you can do a certain extent, go and sit there and educate 569 00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:57,000 them but you also like shouldn't have to like it's not your job 570 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,500 at this point. I think you know it's 20 23 it's 571 00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:02,400 not really your job to educate all the men around you on how to 572 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:07,100 be like decent people. If you want to fucking go for it 573 00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:13,000 and I do get that years of someone being a part of like a 574 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,800 family that doesn't talk about sex or they're being sexual 575 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:20,400 trauma. Or they're being a background 576 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:24,300 where this person didn't have like anybody to tell them that 577 00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:27,400 these things are important. Yes, I agree that. 578 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:32,600 Okay, you can give that person some Grace maybe and obviously 579 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,100 if you're in a loving relationship, that person I 580 00:28:34,108 --> 00:28:36,500 would understand that you would want to do that with them. 581 00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:41,700 But at the same time it's also 23 and like we have access. 582 00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:45,300 These men, they have access they have these resources if they 583 00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:48,900 wanted to know, they could know. It's like if he wanted to, he 584 00:28:48,900 --> 00:28:52,800 would do, you know what I mean? So let's just be clear that if 585 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:57,100 you want to come, you should be feeling like you have the space 586 00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:01,100 to hand time to come. And that he cares, that that's 587 00:29:01,100 --> 00:29:04,100 something that you want. No, it doesn't have to be the 588 00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:07,100 end result every single time and it's okay. 589 00:29:07,100 --> 00:29:09,300 If you leave that experience you're like, no, that was fun. 590 00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:11,700 That was pleasurable. Honestly, I don't really want to 591 00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:13,900 go through the whole motion right now, like I'm just not 592 00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:15,500 here for it. I kind of just want to like 593 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,000 chill. I had a good time. 594 00:29:17,100 --> 00:29:19,200 Don't worry about me. That's okay, you know, that's 595 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,700 also. OK, and last point, on this 596 00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:24,400 before we move on is please don't fake orgasms. 597 00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:28,200 Please don't fake orgasms because we're not doing that 598 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,600 anymore for them. First of all. 599 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:30,400 Fuck. There you go. 600 00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:34,200 Second of all, um, you're teaching them that you like what 601 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,000 they're doing this. So if you are teaching them. 602 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,900 That, oh my God. That's what makes me come. 603 00:29:38,900 --> 00:29:41,000 Thanks baby. Did such a good job today. 604 00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:43,500 No, okay. Don't do that shit. 605 00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:45,900 Because what's he gonna do next time, or what she going to do 606 00:29:45,900 --> 00:29:48,100 next time they're going to Do the same thing. 607 00:29:48,100 --> 00:29:50,400 They're literally going to do the exact same thing because 608 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,800 they think that's what you like because you've taught them that 609 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,800 that's what they like and they're actually doing the right 610 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,600 thing in that scenario like they are doing the right thing and 611 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,200 you are putting yourself into a situation where now you have to 612 00:30:00,208 --> 00:30:03,200 be like hey remember that thing you did last time either you 613 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,100 know I actually don't like that. And here's what I like or I did 614 00:30:06,100 --> 00:30:08,000 like that but I would like this a little bit differently. 615 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,100 You're like you have to like explain yourself and it's not 616 00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:13,800 worth it so definitely do not fake orgasms ever because it 617 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,800 does not help anybody in the situation and it's a waste of 618 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,900 your time. You know, all right, number 619 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:23,700 five, myth number five is that mainstream porn is a good 620 00:30:23,700 --> 00:30:26,100 representation of what most sex looks like. 621 00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:29,600 Obviously that's a myth, obviously porn is like a 622 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:33,700 horrible representation of what sex is like and we all know that 623 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:39,000 but we say we know it you know? I mean but we don't like no no 624 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,500 it and the thing is when we have a question about sex like you 625 00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:45,300 what feels good when you're with a woman? 626 00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:46,800 Well how to have sex with a woman? 627 00:30:47,100 --> 00:30:49,600 How does sex with a man? How to masturbate, etc? 628 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,800 Etc. You know, we looked at porn and 629 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:55,400 even if we don't think consciously like, oh yeah, I 630 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,600 looked at porn for It, Whatever. A lot of the time, the image 631 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:02,000 that you have in your mind of what is good or bad comes back 632 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,100 to porn. So you still are looking to it 633 00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:05,700 even though you're not trying to do that. 634 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,800 And this just creates so many layers of shit within like our 635 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,500 relationships with sex with ourselves and with sex, 636 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,300 especially like shame around masturbation. 637 00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:18,200 There's this book. I read a while back and it's 638 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,500 called who was called greedy by Jen Winston. 639 00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:23,200 And I talk about it all the time because I love it. 640 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:26,700 It's like her Memoir on her bisexual journey, and she's just 641 00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:28,100 a fucking gee. I love her. 642 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,300 She's also so funny. So go follow her on Instagram 643 00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:34,800 because she's really funny, I'll pop it in the thing below for 644 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:39,700 you and she talks about in her book how she used to grow up 645 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:41,700 masturbating. When she was younger, she would 646 00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:44,500 literally lay on her stomach when she would masturbate and 647 00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:48,300 she like, made this whole like, Sir about how she just kind of 648 00:31:48,300 --> 00:31:51,600 looked, like, like a penguin or something, like, flopping around 649 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:55,200 on her stomach and how she was, like, how am I ever going to 650 00:31:55,208 --> 00:31:57,400 have sex with somebody? Because the way I masturbate, 651 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,600 the only way I'm able to have an orgasm is like I look crazy. 652 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:05,900 Like this is so embarrassing and it's so funny because I related 653 00:32:05,900 --> 00:32:10,100 to that so hard and I think when I was younger I used to do kind 654 00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:14,000 of like a similar thing and then as I got older and I saw porn I 655 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,600 used to think oh shit. Now I have to like, sit like 656 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,300 this. I have to do this now. 657 00:32:18,300 --> 00:32:21,200 I need to look like this. Now, I need to Arch my back or 658 00:32:21,208 --> 00:32:24,800 now I need to like, be naked or I need to, you know, do these 659 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,200 things that I thought I needed to do because it needed to like, 660 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:31,900 look a certain way for it to be like real sex or like, normal 661 00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:35,100 sex in anything, that was outside of how it normally looks 662 00:32:35,100 --> 00:32:37,600 is, you know, unnatural and is bad. 663 00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:41,400 And it was just so interesting. Like, I feel like so many people 664 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,300 could relate with that, and so many people have had that 665 00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:46,100 experience where they feel like they've done something wrong or 666 00:32:46,100 --> 00:32:50,300 bad or just, you know, it's not right whether that's alone 667 00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:53,800 masturbating or that's with a partner or whatever, you feel 668 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,200 like it's wrong because you don't see it in pouring. 669 00:32:56,300 --> 00:32:58,900 And so, let's just again, be aware of what kind of corn were 670 00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:00,600 watching. Because if you're watching 671 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:04,500 mainstream porn, you're more likely to have moments like that 672 00:33:04,500 --> 00:33:07,200 of Shame where you think. Oh, this is wrong. 673 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,800 You know, this position with a man is wrong or having this type 674 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:16,600 of sex with a woman is wrong or liking this thing like eating 675 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:22,300 out Or fingering or using a dildo with a partner even though 676 00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:24,600 he has a penis that's wrong, you can't do that. 677 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,600 All these things that we say are wrong and bad that we don't need 678 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,200 to think are wrong or bad. That maybe we just don't have an 679 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,700 example of during porn. It's important that we reflect 680 00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:35,100 on those things. Yeah. 681 00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:37,300 And figure out what those things could be for us. 682 00:33:37,300 --> 00:33:39,400 And then also, just be aware of what kind of porn you're 683 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:40,800 watching. If you're watching porn. 684 00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:43,700 All right. Now, let's get into the bonus 685 00:33:43,700 --> 00:33:46,900 points here. So bonus Point number one, myth. 686 00:33:47,100 --> 00:33:52,200 Technically number six is that the presence of a hymen is a 687 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:56,400 marker of virginity, it breaks and that's it. 688 00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,600 This is not true, this is not fucking true and I grew up in a 689 00:34:00,608 --> 00:34:04,000 Christian household, okay. I grew up as a sweet, little 690 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:08,300 Virgin, Mary not actually LOL but I wasn't Christian. 691 00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:14,400 And I used to think that your hymen was like this thing that 692 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,900 literally just like popped, broke, whatever. 693 00:34:17,100 --> 00:34:19,900 One day. And then it was just all over. 694 00:34:20,199 --> 00:34:24,000 And this is really interesting because this is something that a 695 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,500 lot of people believe like this is not oh, this is like a little 696 00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,800 myth, but everyone like knows, no, no. 697 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,500 Like a lot of people don't know that this is not true and that's 698 00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:35,800 not how it works. Think of the language that we 699 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,900 use, like, pop your cherry, okay? 700 00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:43,600 The verb pop, that could be really scary to a young girl, 701 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,800 you know, to a young vulva. However, who's like, um, I want 702 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,400 to Have sex one day but I don't really want someone to like pop 703 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,400 my shit. Like what do you mean like 704 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:55,600 that's scary, you know, or when people say it breaks like break 705 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:59,800 has negative connotation like in also, there's obviously a huge 706 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:03,000 negative connotation going around the word, virginity, 707 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,100 quote, unquote, losing your virginity. 708 00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:07,700 And what that actually means especially within the context of 709 00:35:07,707 --> 00:35:12,500 like, religion or even just maybe what's were like one of 710 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:14,600 the conservative families and things like that. 711 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:16,200 Even if it's like, non-religious. 712 00:35:17,100 --> 00:35:20,000 Rich is so interesting that we've been taught that. 713 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,400 So, let me just quickly tell you what actually happens. 714 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,700 So your hymen, I've said this in, you know, other episodes as 715 00:35:25,700 --> 00:35:31,300 well, but it is basically a like thin piece of skin, I guess you 716 00:35:31,300 --> 00:35:35,200 can call it and it does tear. It can tear. 717 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,400 And a lot of people do get these tears. 718 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,000 The first time that they have sex. 719 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,100 So they do have some blood that comes out. 720 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:46,400 I personally didn't experience this, but a lot of people do I 721 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,700 was talking about Mom the other day about this on my on a 722 00:35:48,700 --> 00:35:50,800 FaceTime and she was telling me the first time she had sex, it 723 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,600 like really hurt and was telling me that she had that classic, 724 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:57,600 you know, bleeds right away. It was really painful that kind 725 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,900 of situation. I didn't have that at all but I 726 00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:05,000 never inserted anything that would be like penis size. 727 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:10,100 Before that time I did use tampons I can say that and I 728 00:36:10,107 --> 00:36:12,000 know there's a bunch of other ways that people can break their 729 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000 hymen. Like frickin riding a horse or 730 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,800 like doing certain physical activities. 731 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,300 There's a lot. Ways that it can happen when 732 00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:20,400 it's not even painful and people don't even realize that it 733 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,700 happens, it can actually happen with a tampon as well, but it is 734 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,200 pretty uncommon. Just so, you know, so don't 735 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,100 freak out if you are like, wanting to use tampons and you 736 00:36:28,100 --> 00:36:31,400 haven't had sex before. But yeah, I think this is really 737 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,800 important that we really, we know this because not only is 738 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,400 this like, oh, you know, that's crazy. 739 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,700 That this is a myth and this thing that we all believe, but 740 00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:42,100 it's also used as a marker of virginity within so many 741 00:36:42,100 --> 00:36:45,800 religions, like all around the world and like different 742 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,400 cultures and all these things. And it's really horrible and 743 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,900 really sad and something that you should at least be aware of 744 00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:52,900 that. This happens around the world 745 00:36:52,908 --> 00:36:58,700 that people literally will be tortured or killed or whatever. 746 00:36:58,700 --> 00:37:02,300 Sorry, dark turn on this. Today's episode that this can 747 00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:07,100 happen because women are being told that oh, you don't have 748 00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:08,400 your high means, you must not be a virgin. 749 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,600 And they literally either are not born with it, which Can 750 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:16,000 Happen by the way, literally not born with it or they broke it in 751 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,700 another way or It, I should say in another way. 752 00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:24,200 And these horrible things happen to people all over the world and 753 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,900 you should be aware of this to understand why it is so 754 00:37:26,900 --> 00:37:32,000 important that we have correct information about sex within our 755 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:37,200 culture because when we use verbage like pop and break that 756 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:41,700 can create so much, shame fear and pour those things into us 757 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,800 and create this really horrible relationship between us and our 758 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,800 relationship with sex and Yeah, it just shocks me and when I 759 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:53,800 first learned this I was like, oh my gosh, like how did I not 760 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,900 know this like who the fuck is telling us all this stuff? 761 00:37:56,900 --> 00:38:00,700 And it just made me so mad and just like it just reinstalls why 762 00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:04,300 I'm so passionate about talking about sexual Wellness, you know, 763 00:38:04,300 --> 00:38:07,000 as much as I can on the different platforms that allow 764 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,900 me to. But yeah, it's really important. 765 00:38:09,900 --> 00:38:12,400 So if you want to do more research into that, feel free. 766 00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:16,100 I've just finished reading. Come As You Are by Emmeline 767 00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:19,400 agofsky, And she talks about it in that book as well. 768 00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,500 So that would be a little recommendation for me and I'll 769 00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:24,400 pop that below for you if you want to click through and link 770 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,300 to that book. That book is also just really 771 00:38:26,300 --> 00:38:28,800 good. By the way, if you have any 772 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,900 questions about sex, why you might have a low libido while 773 00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:35,200 you might have a high libido, what to do, if you and your 774 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:39,900 partner, have different libidos, like, what to do about the 775 00:38:39,900 --> 00:38:42,600 questions, about your body, and how orgasm work and how to have 776 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,700 good orgasms or how to organize them in the first place. 777 00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:46,800 Like, literally such an amazing resource. 778 00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:47,900 Ice. I've literally think that 779 00:38:47,900 --> 00:38:50,400 everybody should read that book. So go and read that book. 780 00:38:50,700 --> 00:38:52,400 All right, this is our last Point bonus. 781 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,400 Point number two, is actually really big one and I fucking 782 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,600 love this one. I'm so happy that I'm including 783 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,800 this in today's episode because this one is so huge. 784 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:05,000 All right. Penetration is quote, real sex. 785 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,500 And everything else is just foreplay. 786 00:39:07,900 --> 00:39:11,800 I believed this for years years, and years and years, and years 787 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,000 and years. And the reason I used to, like, 788 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,600 be so firm on this too, is because within like a Faith, 789 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,300 losing your virginity before marriage is obviously a bad 790 00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:24,400 thing. And so, in my mind in like a lot 791 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:28,900 of Christians Minds, you can do everything, but have sex. 792 00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:33,000 So these people are fucking out here, like having oral sex like 793 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:37,800 sixty-nining their shit like doing all this stuff, some 794 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,700 Christian couples. Even having like anal sex 795 00:39:40,900 --> 00:39:44,500 because it's technically not quote, unquote penis vagina sex, 796 00:39:44,500 --> 00:39:46,700 which is the only real sex all day. 797 00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:51,000 So you know heterosexual bullshit, whatever like it is 798 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,400 why you'll to me that this is a thing and that I thought this 799 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:58,600 for so so long. It's literally not true. 800 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:03,300 It is not true in especially when it comes to what we think 801 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:06,700 you know real Sexes. We think oh real sex penetration 802 00:40:06,900 --> 00:40:10,200 that's going to feel the most intimate that's going to be you 803 00:40:10,207 --> 00:40:13,800 know if I give that to someone that's going to feel like you're 804 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,700 such a big deal. I can promise you right now. 805 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,500 If you have oral sex with someone, that can also be a huge 806 00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:27,200 like transfer of emotions of energy of like intimacy, like it 807 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:31,200 is so intimate and personally, I will say, I'm not going to argue 808 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,200 that this is for a lot of people are anyone or whatever anyone 809 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,000 other about being anyone other than me. 810 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:41,800 But I find oral sex to be extremely more intimate than 811 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:45,400 penetrative sex. Because it's like, holy shit. 812 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:46,800 They're like faces up in my shit. 813 00:40:46,900 --> 00:40:49,100 Shit like this. It's like free. 814 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,400 And like I mean it's great but it's also like it can be very 815 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:53,900 scary. It can be very intimate 816 00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:56,500 especially with a new partner or if it's you know, the first time 817 00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:59,800 you're doing it or whatever. And so I just want to clarify 818 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,700 and make sure that you know that there is no quote-unquote, real 819 00:41:03,700 --> 00:41:07,100 sex, you know, they're, you know, any kind of sexual 820 00:41:07,100 --> 00:41:10,800 experience that you have with somebody is real sex. 821 00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:13,600 And yes, that can be between two women. 822 00:41:13,700 --> 00:41:16,700 Yes, that can be between two men or two non-binary. 823 00:41:16,900 --> 00:41:21,600 Ball or whatever it is all quote-unquote real sex and 824 00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:23,100 that's not even a thing. Okay. 825 00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:27,700 Sex is sex and don't think that you're protecting yourself from 826 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,800 transferring, you know, these emotions or whatever because 827 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,000 you're not having like penis vagina sex. 828 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,300 Like that's Lids. Trust me. 829 00:41:34,300 --> 00:41:35,700 Just trust me. All right. 830 00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:40,000 Yes, you might feel like it is more of an intimate thing 831 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,900 because it is like you are putting your parts into each 832 00:41:43,900 --> 00:41:46,700 other parts, like it is obviously. 833 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:51,000 It it is obviously like a very it can be a deep connection with 834 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:56,400 somebody but it isn't necessarily the most important 835 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,100 or best version of sex or whatever. 836 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,600 There's just so much when it comes to sex. 837 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:05,500 So many things that you can do in penetration is literally just 838 00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:08,300 one of them. So yeah, that's it. 839 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:10,800 I think that's everything I want to say today. 840 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,100 I'm really happy that I did today's episode because these 841 00:42:13,100 --> 00:42:14,800 are all things that I really wanted to talk about. 842 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,700 And you guys really like the tick-tock. 843 00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:20,500 Put out the other day about this and so hopefully you enjoyed me 844 00:42:20,500 --> 00:42:23,800 going into it a little more in-depth and there you go. 845 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,500 If you have any questions or you want to chat about anything that 846 00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:30,100 I talked about today or you just liked today's episode and you 847 00:42:30,100 --> 00:42:33,900 want like more shit like this. Look, let me know please feel 848 00:42:33,900 --> 00:42:35,900 free to DM me any feedback. Anything. 849 00:42:35,900 --> 00:42:38,000 I loves it, loves it, loves it. DM me. 850 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,600 It's Alyssa Taylor Harper on Instagram, it's also that on 851 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,400 Tick-Tock and I'm going to link that below for you. 852 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,400 If you want to go hit me up and then Facebook, we have a Group 853 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,400 called The she said what podcast group. 854 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,500 So, feel free to come find us over there. 855 00:42:51,500 --> 00:42:54,500 We just finished our book club, where we read in the Flow by 856 00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:57,200 Alisa Vitti, which is a book about cycle sinking. 857 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,400 If you don't know what that is, goal is to my episodes about it, 858 00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:00,900 that shit will change your life dead ass. 859 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:05,500 It's not something like I made up just to clarify that it's, 860 00:43:05,900 --> 00:43:08,600 it's really cool and just I've interviewed people on it and 861 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,100 it's really, really amazing. So, that's it. 862 00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:13,700 Thanks guys, you rock. Thank you for listening today 863 00:43:13,700 --> 00:43:17,800 and I will see you next Monday. Update by the way on this, I 864 00:43:17,808 --> 00:43:20,500 will say before I go, is that episodes are coming out every 865 00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:22,600 Monday. Right now, they have been for 866 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,100 the last little bit, I think I'm gonna keep doing Mondays. 867 00:43:25,100 --> 00:43:28,800 I think that's what's working and for me and just how my life 868 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:32,000 is fucking going right now and I'm going to be doing video 869 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,000 podcast soon which I'm really excited about. 870 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,300 And I literally am like creating a set guys. 871 00:43:36,300 --> 00:43:38,700 Like I just painted a whole ass wall for y'all. 872 00:43:38,900 --> 00:43:42,000 So I can't wait for you to see my face, huh? 873 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:45,200 When I talk and if you don't want to do that, just, you know, 874 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:46,700 you can always just like close the app. 875 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,500 Up and it's just going to be on Spotify. 876 00:43:48,500 --> 00:43:50,200 For the meantime we're going to try that. 877 00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,000 We're going to see if you like it and if you like it, I will 878 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,600 keep doing it. If you don't like it, then we'll 879 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,200 do something different because it's all about you. 880 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:56,000 Okay. I'm here for you. 881 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:57,200 I love you. See you next time. 882 00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,300 Don't forget to follow the podcast wherever you listen. 883 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:00,300 All that shit. I don't know. 884 00:44:00,300 --> 00:43:47,700 Alright, bye. Up and it's just going to be on 885 00:43:47,700 --> 00:43:49,800 Spotify. For the meantime we're going to 886 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,000 try that. We're going to see if you like 887 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,700 it and if you like it, I will keep doing it. 888 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,400 If you don't like it, then we'll do something different because 889 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:55,400 it's all about you. Okay. 890 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:56,400 I'm here for you. I love you. 891 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:57,900 See you next time. Don't forget to follow the 892 00:43:57,900 --> 00:43:59,900 podcast wherever you listen. All that shit. 893 00:43:59,900 --> 00:44:01,000 I don't know. Alright, bye.