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You're listening to. 
She said what with your host 

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Alyssa Harper? 
Hey sexy people, welcome back 

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to. 
She said what if you have not 

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listened to the podcast before 
then? 

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Oh my God. 
Welcome welcome. 

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Welcome to this place is for 
you. 

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You are welcome. 
Whoever you are, we love to have

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you here and if you have 
listened to before then, welcome

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back, bitch. 
Nice to have you. 

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Nice to see you again. 
So if you haven't listened, I 

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just want to quickly say, my 
name is Alyssa. 

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I am a Canadian but I live in 
Sydney Australia. 

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I very Rated story, so you're 
not going to understand, but 

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it's all going to be. 
Okay. 

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We're going to figure it out. 
Okay, my main gig is Tick-Tock, 

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we love The Tick-Tock. 
I just hit 300,000 followers 

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last week, and that was a big 
Vibe for me, so that's what I 

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do. 
I've got the podcast, we do some

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Instagram, and I'm also a 
Pilates instructor, I like to 

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do. 
Lots of things to keep my brain,

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extremely active. 
All right, that's me, today's 

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episode, we're going to be 
talking about decision making 

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and I've made some pretty big 
decisions. 

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In my time, I will say, I moved 
to Australia from Canada, like I

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said, in my intro and I've made 
some pretty big decisions when 

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it comes to my relationships. 
I got married at one point that 

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actually did happen. 
And I also completely left the 

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religion that I grew up in, and 
I've just made a lot of big 

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decisions. 
And so I feel like that's my 

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qualifications on talking about 
this and also I'm pretty highly 

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anxious person and so I've 
struggled a lot honestly, more 

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with like the day-to-day 
decision-making. 

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Like it's the, what do I get on 
a menu at a restaurant? 

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It's the do I clean my room 
first or do I clean the living 

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room first? 
Like it's the teeny tiny things.

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It's, the, can I make it from 
this room to the next room? 

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While holding all these things 
or should I do two trips? 

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And then like fumbling around 
and taking like double the 

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amount of time I would have 
taken if I done either decision 

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and actually just made a 
decision. 

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She not. 
I mean that's me. 

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And so I've been able to figure 
out what works at least for me 

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to make decisions in a way that 
feels Confident and I can 

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actually move forward in a way 
where I feel good about the 

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decision that I've made, so 
that's not going to be sharing 

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with you today. 5 tips on how to
make confident decisions. 

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Let's get into it quick, little 
weekly update. 

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So last week, I'm just going to 
say I'm just gonna be honest, 

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all right, I had a really shitty
week because I had a yeast 

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infection. 
First of all, you know what, 

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okay, this podcast is All about 
things that are TMI and we just 

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tell the truth. 
So if you don't like hearing a 

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honesty and be you don't like 
carrying about vaginas then this

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isn't the podcast for you. 
All right. 

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Anyways I was not having a good 
time. 

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Use infections are just the 
worst because like I actually 

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haven't had one in ages. 
I think I had one about like 

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maybe mmm how long ago maybe 
about two years ago and it was 

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in New York and I was like on 
this trip And I took a pill and 

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it went away was in like a day 
and I didn't even know if it was

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a yeast infection. 
I just thought in case it is, 

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I'm going to take this pill 
preemptively because I'm on 

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vacation and I definitely cannot
be dealing with this right now. 

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Anyways, um, it did not go away 
within one day, little did I 

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know I thought it was going to 
be quick. 

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No, no, and first of all, I 
think I have regrets because I 

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didn't do the pill. 
Someone told me I should have 

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done the pill. 
Instead, I did the like the 

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what's it called? 
The cream application. 

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Oh my God, if you haven't done 
this before you Are lucky. 

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This is the most cursed 
situation. 

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So picture. 
One of those like plastic 

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tampons, right? 
Like the tampon inserter thing, 

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picture, one of those but you 
have to fill it with a bunch of 

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cream and then you just have to 
look shoot that cream up your 

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post. 
Like, it is cooked. 

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It's cooked, it's so weird. 
Absolutely hated it for me, 

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weird Vibes. 
And yeah, really uncomfortable 

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like, very itchy Vibes. 
All of last week and also 

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painful like actually super 
painful, I'd like to cancel 

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plans and like couldn't work 
like it. 

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Actually bullshit. 
So, anyways, that's not get any 

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stiff actions and you know it's 
actually interesting the reason 

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I think I got it is because 
remember how last week I told 

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you I quit vaping. 
We love that. 

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I'm still Vape free. 
Whoo-hoo, haven't quit. 

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Haven't I mean haven't quit 
quitting, thank God and I'm 

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actually doing great on that. 
I think the problem though is 

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that I was eating a lot of 
sweets and I was eating a lot of

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like I see Pops like like 
freezies, you know, I was eating

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a lot of that stuff. 
Because it was giving me 

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something to do with my mouth 
because usually, you have like, 

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a bit of an oral fixation when 
you vape or when you smoke and 

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it's something that you don't 
realize until you don't have 

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that thing anymore. 
And then you're suddenly eating 

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all the time and whatever. 
Anyways, I was like it's fine. 

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It's just like freezies. 
It's I don't care. 

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I don't care about my weight, 
you know, it's just whatever I 

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should have cared about my 
health. 

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I I always do this where I'm 
like, oh I don't care how I 

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look. 
I can eat whatever I want and 

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then I realized that you need to
eat food that actually like 

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nourishes, your body LOL. 
Anyways, I was not happy. 

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I was not happy last week was 
bad week, so that's basically 

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like I've done, I'm dead-ass. 
Like, I've just been sitting at 

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home. 
I've done very little. 

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I've had like maybe two days 
where I was like, social saw 

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someone. 
But other than that, I've just 

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been chilling so sad, but that's
okay. 

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That's okay. 
Anything good to happen this 

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week. 
Let's think there's always 

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something, isn't there? 
Yes, of course. 

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This week, I went to Bondi Beach
with two of my friends that I 

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don't get to hang out with 
enough Balu who I've actually 

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interviewed before on. 
The podcast, they're amazing and

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my friend Jade as well. 
So we all went to the beach and 

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had a really nice time and had 
some drinks and had a good time.

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So that was a good time and I 
was happy that that happened. 

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And it's been really nice 
recently, because my schedules 

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opened up quite a bit, I'm only 
teaching, Pilates, two days now 

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and so it's just given me a lot 
more free time and giving me 

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more time to do content. 
And, you know, like I said, 

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tick-tocks and podcast stuff and
everything. 

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So it's been nice to have a bit 
more time, bit more freedom in 

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my life. 
And it's cool. 

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It feels like I'm, you know, 
working towards the things I 

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want to be doing and so that's 
really exciting for me. 

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But let's get into today's 
topic. 

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So it was really interesting 
that somebody actually requested

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that I would talk about this and
she literally said like whether 

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you know it's job-related or 
relationships or what to order 

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at a restaurant or what to buy 
at the store or what color to 

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paint your house. 
She was basically asking, can 

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you give us advice on making 
decisions whether they're big or

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small because indecisiveness is 
really taking a toll on me. 

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Me and I was like, wow, like 
this is such a good topic, this 

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is so good. 
And this is why I always 

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encourage you guys to tell me 
what's going on in your life. 

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Tell me what your struggle is. 
Tell me what you would like me 

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to speak on, because you might 
think it's like Niche, or very 

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specific to you. 
And if it is, there are always 

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ways that I can make it a wider 
thing that other people can get 

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things out of. 
But it's going to be, you know, 

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something that I'm really, 
really creating for you. 

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But I can also like see From my 
perspective and I think a lot of

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people or a lot of you guys 
don't see this is that your 

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problems that you go through are
often the problems of so many 

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other people. 
And you often think like oh I'm 

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the only one that feels like I 
don't have any friends or I'm 

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the only one that is struggling 
with addiction. 

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Or I'm the only one that has 
this thing going on and a lot of

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the time. 
It's not just you, okay. 

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And I was should say it's never 
just you it really is a 

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collective experience for so 
many of us to be dealing with 

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all these little things and 
feeling like we are alone, In 

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it. 
So please feel free to share 

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with me. 
Please feel free to reach out to

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me. 
I answer all of my dams 

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eventually. 
Sometimes it takes me a little 

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bit, but I do answer all of my 
dams and I'm always talking to 

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you guys. 
So thank you for staying in 

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touch with me and, you know, 
having a little chitchat with me

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and remember that is on 
Instagram, not on Tick-Tock 

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because unfortunately, you can't
message me on Tick Tock because 

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Tick Tock is just weird but you 
can on Instagram and it's Alyssa

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Taylor, Harbor. 
All linked below, whatever? 

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Go find me. 
If you want to, let's get into 

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the points. 
Of today. 

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So first of all, why do we want 
to work on this indecisiveness 

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and struggling to make 
decisions? 

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Maybe right now you have a big 
choice that you need to make. 

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I hope you do because honestly, 
I think these points are really 

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going to help you and there's 
nothing like being stuck on 

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something and then one thing 
standing out in a conversation 

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with somebody or an episode, 
like a podcast or a piece of 

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content or something where it 
really genuinely does help you. 

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And so, if you have something 
that you're trying to make a 

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decision on right now, 
obviously, let's keep that in 

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the front of your brain. 
And the reason we would want to 

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work on this generally is 
because short-term 

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indecisiveness can cause stress.
It can cause anxiety, it can 

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cause a feeling of being drained
or defeated. 

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This is a really common feeling 
that people can have when you're

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sitting there and you're going 
on. 

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Should I do this or should I do 
this or don't want to go out 

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tonight? 
Although if you're constantly in

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that space like what do I do? 
What do I do that can be really 

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stressful and it can make your 
brain feel really busy and 

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really tired and Thing that we 
want to avoid. 

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And then obviously long-term as 
well, when you put off 

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decision-making, you know, when 
you don't do things because 

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you're like, I'll do it later, 
it'll happen one day. 

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First of all, it can put you 
behind just when it comes to 

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your timeline and what you want 
to do. 

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And I really think as well that 
it can stop you from doing 

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things. 
Wholeheartedly like sometimes 

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you get a really good idea or 
you'll be feeling really 

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inspired or an opportunity will 
come up, right? 

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There's this thing in front of 
you that you could possibly do 

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and because you know, You're 
stuck on the decision. 

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Although I don't know what to 
do. 

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I should, I take the job? 
Oh, is it the right time of my 

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life? 
Is it too soon? 

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You know, am I really ready for 
this? 

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You ask yourself all these 
questions. 

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You work yourself up. 
You don't do the thing and it 

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stops you from either doing the 
thing, and it puts you behind, 

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or you do the thing, but it 
stops you from doing it, 

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wholeheartedly, and it stops you
from wanting, to be there. 

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And to be really present. 
Because even when you're there 

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and you've made that choice and 
you're doing that thing, you're 

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going. 
What's this, the right choice? 

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I don't know. 
Did I like my Job better or, you

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know, should I have broken up 
with them? 

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Maybe they weren't that bad. 
They were that bad, they were. 

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I'm just gonna tell you right 
now. 

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If you related, that with that 
mmm-hmm break up with your 

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boyfriend, okay, break up. 
Just kidding. 

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You don't have to break up with 
them. 

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But usually if there's a 
question mark, mmm, it's break 

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up moving forward. 
We're going to start with Point 

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number one. 
Point number one, may seem 

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unrelated to you at first but it
is have a routine. 

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Meghan, confident decisions 
getting better at 

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decision-making is going to 
start with what your foundation 

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is, your foundation needs to be 
a routine of some sort to 

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especially depending on what 
your life looks like. 

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So say you have like a 9 to 5 
job. 

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That's already a pretty solid 
like routine. 

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You know what you're doing? 
Five days a week for like eight 

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hours. 
That's pretty solid, you know 

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what I mean? 
Or if you have like another job,

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but it's certain hours and it's 
like maybe you get your schedule

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to start of the week like you 
work in Hospitality or something

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like that. 
And you get your schedule, the 

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start of the week, you know, 
where you have to be from this 

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time to this time on like 
multiple days. 

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Okay. 
You know that it's okay for the 

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routine changes or if that's I 
mean it's like me about, not a 

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routine but it's okay if the 
schedule changes, but if you 

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like kind of know what's going 
on in your life, amazing, love 

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that for you. 
Why do we want to have a routine

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00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:22,600
because decision fatigue, if you
haven't haven't heard of 

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decision fatigue, this is 
something that was coined by 

245
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social psychologist Roy. 
F ba Meister, Mmm, I don't know 

246
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if that's how you say, it 
decision. 

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Fatigue is the emotional and 
mental strain, resulting from a 

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burden of choices. 
This often leads to risky 

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decision making, or decision, 
avoidance. 

250
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Exactly what I was talking about
earlier. 

251
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It can either lead to you 
jumping into it really quickly. 

252
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Maybe not thinking about it. 
Just going for it just well. 

253
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,500
Okay, let's just do it or you 
don't make the decision, you put

254
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:54,200
it off, you go. 
We'll figure it out later, maybe

255
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tomorrow. 
And then, mmm, you don't make 

256
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that choice ever ever. 
We don't want that. 

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Now, I have seen decision 
fatigue in my life, very 

258
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strongly. 
Because, like I said to you guys

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in my weekly update, I have so 
much openness in my schedule 

260
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now, which is amazing. 
It's not that I don't have 

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things that I need to get done 
because I do have lots of 

262
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things, I need to get done. 
You know, my, my full-time job 

263
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,900
is being a content creator, and 
there are plenty of things that 

264
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I can be doing all of the time 
to be working forward, and 

265
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literally, creating content, and
editing, and planning stuff, and

266
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,600
doing emails, and reaching out 
to To, you know, different 

267
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,100
people in Brands and people want
to interview and all of these 

268
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,100
things, you know, I bunch of 
things that I have to do and 

269
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then also, of course, is taking 
care of my mental health, and 

270
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,000
then making sure that I'm taking
breaks. 

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And I'm not working all day 
every day, because I have a 

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habit of doing that and I have 
realized that if I don't plan 

273
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,600
what I'm going to work on that 
day. 

274
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The, you know, if I don't plan 
what I'm going to work on 

275
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:57,700
throughout the week, then I 
either don't get anything done 

276
00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:01,800
or I just work Don't lie and I 
kind of like still don't get 

277
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anything done because I'm not 
taking breaks. 

278
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:07,400
I'm not scheduling. 
Well I'm not figuring out what 

279
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actually needs to be done. 
You know, the priorities aren't 

280
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being hit. 
So it's like the big projects I 

281
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,300
need to get done. 
Maybe the paid projects that 

282
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actually need to do. 
So I have an income and I can 

283
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:21,400
pay my rent aren't getting done.
But then, like my randoms 

284
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,800
Instagram stories or random 
reels about random shit. 

285
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,700
I don't know. 
I'm just like doing because my 

286
00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:29,900
Kiki, this is fun and I get to 
the end of the Weekend. 

287
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:32,600
I'm like, fuck. 
I have a lot to do still. 

288
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:38,200
And so, having a routine, having
a schedule, knowing what's going

289
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,300
on having decisions that have 
been made already, preemptively 

290
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:48,400
is going to help you get a rid 
of the decision fatigue or being

291
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,500
in a situation where you're 
feeling decision, fatigue. 

292
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:55,000
And of course, even if that's 
not you, where you have all this

293
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,600
free time because this is a very
specific thing unless you like 

294
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,100
own your own business or work 
from home, Whatever. 

295
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,400
Then, you know, you actually go 
to a job. 

296
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,800
Like most people would there are
still a lot of decisions that 

297
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,100
you have to make every single 
day. 

298
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:10,300
So when you wake up, if you 
don't have a morning routine, 

299
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:13,400
for example, you're trying to 
figure out, you know, am I going

300
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,000
to brush my teeth first or am I 
going to brush my hair first? 

301
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,400
Am I going to go eat breakfast 
first or am I gonna sit down and

302
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,200
do my makeup first? 
And if you don't have some sort 

303
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:27,200
of routine that just flows 
naturally without you having to 

304
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,100
use that brainpower, then those 
Our little moments where you are

305
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:34,600
taking up, how much energy you 
have for the whole day when it 

306
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,900
comes to making decisions, and 
it can very much happen for 

307
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:42,000
anybody who has a schedule 
that's technically packed tight,

308
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,400
but they still have things that 
haven't been decided on or it 

309
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:49,000
can affect people differently. 
So even if you have quite a few 

310
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,800
decisions being made already for
you like your schedule or, you 

311
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:57,000
know, your general work or where
you need to be, I guess you can 

312
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,600
still have things that can 
stress you out specifically. 

313
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,900
If you really struggle to pick 
out an outfit in the morning 

314
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:06,100
because you're not a morning 
person if that's not chosen. 

315
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,400
Even though, you know, where 
you're going to be 48 hours, 

316
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:11,100
that could be a decision that's 
difficult for you to make. 

317
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,000
And so that can cause you 
decision fatigue, even though 

318
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,900
it's just one choice, it's a 
hard choice, and that's going to

319
00:15:17,908 --> 00:15:19,600
be different for everybody. 
So that's kind of something 

320
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,600
where you need to know yourself 
and you need to kind of step 

321
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,000
back and think like what 
something that does hold me back

322
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,800
in a way day-to-day like what is
something that I could do to 

323
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,200
fill in that? 
That Gap. 

324
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,700
So for me, I used to feel like 
this in high school all the 

325
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:37,000
time, so I started making my 
outfit like the night before. 

326
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,000
So I'd go to sleep. 
Being like, Oh, I'm going to 

327
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,200
feel confident tomorrow. 
Now, I'm going to be wearing 

328
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,000
this thing and then I get up in 
the morning and I already know. 

329
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,700
Okay, I always get up. 
I go to the washroom. 

330
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:51,300
I wash my face, I come into my 
bedroom, I have my little like, 

331
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,700
coat on my little house cope. 
I do my makeup, then I take off 

332
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:57,200
my housecoat and then I do put 
on my outfit that I already have

333
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,100
prepared for me. 
Then I go upstairs. 

334
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,900
Then I Pair my breakfast and 
then I leave the house with my 

335
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:03,400
breakfast and my coffee. 
You know? 

336
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,600
Like that was like my little 
routine and robbing a routine is

337
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,400
really really helpful. 
And I've actually talked about 

338
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,200
this in last week's episode as 
well for things you should do in

339
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,700
2023 to be hot and sexy and 
happy. 

340
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,500
That's not the title. 
But that's it's the vibe is 

341
00:16:17,508 --> 00:16:20,700
definitely the vibe. 
Um, it's definitely going to 

342
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,400
help you. 
It's definitely going to help 

343
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,600
you. 
All right, number to visualize 

344
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,500
yourself in each scenario. 
This one, I really liked and I 

345
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,600
actually have another episode 
All about visualization in like 

346
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,700
a manifesting away. 
But this is a little bit 

347
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:36,800
different. 
This is more so picture yourself

348
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:41,200
in the different versions of 
what you might end up doing. 

349
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,200
So if you're trying to figure 
out, if you're going to quit 

350
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:47,500
your job and go to a different 
job, picture you in like, six 

351
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,700
months from now, still working 
at your current job. 

352
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,000
Does that make you want to puke 
in your mouth? 

353
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,600
Okay. 
Well picture, you and six months

354
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,800
at some other job, if you go, 
well, I don't know. 

355
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:57,800
It's a picture. 
I don't know. 

356
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,700
Just going to be like, okay, 
we'll just Okay, think think 

357
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,700
about that place. 
If you know the place looks like

358
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:06,800
picture yourself there picture. 
If you have any other past 

359
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,500
experience that you could relate
it to like a different type of 

360
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,900
work scenario, or different type
of people that you've been 

361
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:15,800
around things like that. 
Try to picture it and sit here 

362
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,800
and go. 
Okay, what, how can I toss up 

363
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,099
these two things? 
If the options are either doing 

364
00:17:22,099 --> 00:17:23,599
something that you don't want to
do. 

365
00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:26,000
Like, you know, you don't like, 
so your current job, you know, 

366
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,700
you wouldn't be looking for a 
new job if you loved your 

367
00:17:27,708 --> 00:17:29,500
current job. 
So you don't like your job. 

368
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,600
Job in six months from now 
you're still going to be at that

369
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,000
job. 
Probably hating it even more 

370
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:39,100
unless you can somehow change 
that current job situation. 

371
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:43,000
The option is probably going to 
be to go try a different job. 

372
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,100
That's not to say that it's 
going to be million times 

373
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,800
better, but it might have to be 
the right choice for you. 

374
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:51,800
Now, once you visualize yourself
in it again this isn't my only 

375
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,900
tip, this is just part of it, 
this is part of it. 

376
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:56,500
But I do want you to do this 
because I think people kind of 

377
00:17:56,500 --> 00:18:00,300
forget to do this. 
And to me this is Something that

378
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,700
I've always kind of done for 
myself but there are times where

379
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:06,900
all kind of forget to do it. 
And even last night, this is so 

380
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:08,200
funny. 
I actually did this last night I

381
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,700
was sat on the couch. 
I was like PMSing a bit in this 

382
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,500
last week. 
It was just not a good week. 

383
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:15,200
Okay. 
Let me just tell you and I was 

384
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,700
PMSing and I was just not 
feeling the best and I was like 

385
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:20,700
I need to eat what I'm going to 
eat and Sam my partner. 

386
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,300
He was like we were sitting on 
the couch and he was up. 

387
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,800
I don't we'll just order 
ubereats. 

388
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,400
We don't have to cook. 
And I'm like, okay, okay, what 

389
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,600
are we going to get? 
So then we're on overeats and 

390
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,600
he's extremely Decisive. 
He's always been like this and 

391
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,200
it's fine because I helped him. 
Um, but he really, really does 

392
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,000
struggle with this. 
He should listen to today's 

393
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,500
podcast and we were trying to 
figure it out and we're like 

394
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:42,800
Thai, okay, what should we get? 
And then we're going through the

395
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,400
time menu. 
Okay, now what do we get at Ty? 

396
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,500
What should we get this time 
place? 

397
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,600
And then I'm sitting there 
going, do I want pad thai? 

398
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,200
Do I want these noodles? 
Do I want this? 

399
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,400
I want that. 
And then he literally goes like,

400
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,300
okay, honey. 
Like I feel like you're not in 

401
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,500
the best mood to get something 
that you might not. 

402
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,500
So that was such a good little 
tip from him saying, like, 

403
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:06,600
consider and this is going to be
a point coming up soon very soon

404
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,800
where you said, you know, 
consider your emotions consider 

405
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,600
where you're at right now, he 
was realizing you're not in the 

406
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,600
best mood right now. 
So I could only imagine if you 

407
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,000
got food that you don't like 
you're going to be fucking 

408
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,500
pissed. 
So maybe get something like Pad 

409
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:21,600
Thai, something a bit basic 
something that, you know, that 

410
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,800
you're going to like maybe 
something you've gotten before, 

411
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:24,800
and I went. 
Okay, okay. 

412
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,500
Okay, give me a second. 
I sat there on the couch, I 

413
00:19:27,508 --> 00:19:31,100
closed my eyes and I literally 
just It's like, okay, picturing 

414
00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:34,700
myself heating pad thai. 
I was like, I literally I'm 

415
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:36,700
doing it right now. 
You can't see me, but I was a 

416
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:40,000
literally doing as it was like 
holding the bowl and so 

417
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,100
dramatic. 
And like, I'm like eating the 

418
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,300
pad thai. 
I was like, hmm. 

419
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:47,200
Okay, okay, okay. 
And then I like moved on to if I

420
00:19:47,208 --> 00:19:49,600
had the second version. 
I was like, Mmm. 

421
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,500
Yeah, right, I took a deep 
breath. 

422
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,800
Okay. 
Alright and then I made my 

423
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,900
decision and like it was so 
funny. 

424
00:19:56,900 --> 00:20:00,200
But these are the things that 
sounds dramatic, it sounds like 

425
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,400
oh, who's actually going to do 
this in that moment, who's going

426
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,100
to sit there and actually 
visualize it who's actually 

427
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:06,600
going to sit there and I'll be 
aware of your emotions, and do 

428
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,100
all these very serious things 
for very small decisions, but 

429
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:11,600
they're not serious things. 
They're genuinely these little 

430
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:15,400
tools that you can just pick up 
and start to use very quickly in

431
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:19,400
regular moments and it can stop 
you from getting so worked up 

432
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,800
and it's so anxious. 
And so stressed and it can 

433
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,500
really solve The situation 
really quickly, okay? 

434
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:28,800
So that's number two, visualize 
yourself and another part to 

435
00:20:28,808 --> 00:20:32,100
this I would say is picture. 
How do you feel in either 

436
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,600
scenario? 
Like really sit there and go. 

437
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,500
Okay, in six months from now on 
a mount that job. 

438
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,100
Am I still depressed? 
Or is there something that I can

439
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:43,700
do right now in my current 
workplace to potentially not 

440
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:46,600
hate this job right now? 
Is there nothing I can do. 

441
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,800
Okay. 
In six months. 

442
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,500
Am I going to be super upset? 
If I'm still here? 

443
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,800
If the answer is yes to that 
then you might have to To go for

444
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,400
that other opportunity. 
Do you know what I mean? 

445
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,000
You kind of want to really work 
through it. 

446
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,600
Picture yourself in those 
scenarios go. 

447
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,900
How does that? 
Make me feel? 

448
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:00,500
Okay. 
You're like your little 

449
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:01,900
counselor. 
You're literally like your 

450
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:04,900
internal counselor, you like 
your personal counselor? 

451
00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:08,700
How does that make you feel? 
Really reflect on it and then 

452
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:11,800
from there, you can start to 
make those choices and really, 

453
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,500
you know, get into it rather 
than going this. 

454
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,500
Stresses me out. 
I don't know anything about this

455
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:17,900
is I'm not gonna make your own 
decision. 

456
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,200
What happens if I make the wrong
decision and so many people jump

457
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,100
to that before you even start to
think about what Your options 

458
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:25,800
are people jump to what if I 
make the wrong decision so 

459
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,700
quickly that they then put it 
off, put it off, put it off and 

460
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:31,200
then we all just spiral from 
there. 

461
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,700
All right. 
Number three is, as I mentioned,

462
00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:37,800
be aware of your emotions. 
And I would say, a big thing 

463
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,800
with this is don't make 
decisions when emotions are 

464
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,800
high. 
All right, should I break up 

465
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,300
with my boyfriend? 
We're going to go back into it. 

466
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:51,400
Mmm, maybe but do not make that 
decision with him in the room, 

467
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:53,700
okay? 
That's like the worst thing 

468
00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:57,800
ever, of course, you're going to
be like, no, I love him. 

469
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:02,600
Look at him, he's so hot the 
dick, so good, stop, stop this. 

470
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,300
Okay, enough, don't make the 
decision with him in the room. 

471
00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:08,900
You can't do that. 
You know, you can't. 

472
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:12,300
It's gonna be a lot harder. 
I should say to set boundaries 

473
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:15,200
with anybody, if they're sat 
beside you, you know, a lot of 

474
00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:17,900
the time, if you know, you need 
to put your foot down, or you 

475
00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:21,000
need to be that person that you 
aren't normally where you have 

476
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,800
to just you know, say what To 
say and get it out of the way, 

477
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,700
even though you hate conflict or
whatever you need to kind of, 

478
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:30,100
you know, make those decisions 
outside of the situation in your

479
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:32,100
own space, in your private 
space. 

480
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:34,300
In this is going to be of course
for bigger decisions, right? 

481
00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:36,200
This isn't this isn't the menu 
one. 

482
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:38,400
This is this is a bigger 
decision. 

483
00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:41,200
You need to be in your own 
private space. 

484
00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:45,700
I would say sober, I'm going to 
say as well specifically, please

485
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:49,000
be sober in a state of mind 
where you feel like you're going

486
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,300
to make a good choice for 
yourself, like maybe not. 

487
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,900
Early late at night, would be a 
good thing. 

488
00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:57,400
Maybe not within the first 
little bit after you wake up, 

489
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,200
unless you are someone who wakes
up in the best mood in the world

490
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,400
because I know, I sure as hell 
am not. 

491
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,900
But there you go. 
If you are a fucking love that 

492
00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:08,000
for you, if you can bottle that 
up and send it to me, I'll take 

493
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,300
some. 
But yes, let's be aware of our 

494
00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:11,800
emotions. 
Definitely don't make any 

495
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,900
decisions when you are angry and
don't make any decisions when 

496
00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:20,900
you are feeling defeated like, 
don't in a state when you are 

497
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:24,100
feeling down. 
Or disappointed at yourself. 

498
00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:27,400
Don't make any choices on what 
you should do. 

499
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,400
Because you will often make 
choices here that are not risky 

500
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,400
enough. 
Like you'll make choices where 

501
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:37,600
you are, not thinking that you 
are good enough to do XYZ. 

502
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,000
It's like, well fuck. 
I you know I hate this. 

503
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,100
I hate this about me. 
I'm never going to be blah, 

504
00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:44,200
blah, blah, blah. 
I'm just going to stay doing 

505
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,300
this thing. 
I'm going to stay with this 

506
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,400
person because who else is going
to want to be with me, right? 

507
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,100
Arm is going to stay in this job
because what if I don't get that

508
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:54,000
other job or you know what if If
I suck at this new job or what? 

509
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,400
If it's too scary or what? 
If I'm no good at it or, you 

510
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,600
know, and you kind of put 
yourself into a box that you 

511
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,000
really don't belong in. 
And so I would say, make sure 

512
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,000
that you're feeling feeling 
positive, you're feeling open, 

513
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:08,700
you're feeling happy. 
And I would say, for those who 

514
00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:14,300
menstruate make decisions over a
period of time, if you can 

515
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,500
because you will feel different 
about these decisions in the 

516
00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:19,500
different phases of your 
menstrual cycle. 

517
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:22,800
And I know I talked about Cycles
thinking and like every Episode 

518
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,400
book. 
I tell, I'm telling you guys, it

519
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,600
changed my life. 
When I started cycle thinking, 

520
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,400
it made me realize that it made 
so much sense for me. 

521
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:34,500
And I wasn't crazy and I think 
differently week to week, 

522
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,700
because that's how our bodies 
work, that's how your hormones 

523
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:40,200
work. 
And so, for example, when you're

524
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,500
ovulating, you might feel more 
outgoing, you might feel more 

525
00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:45,900
like, oh yeah, I want to do 
this, I want to do this. 

526
00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:49,500
You also might feel more likely 
to want to stay with your 

527
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:52,200
boyfriend because your body 
wants babies. 

528
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:57,500
And your eggs are screaming and 
they're like, let's get it. 

529
00:24:57,500 --> 00:25:00,300
Let's let's keep them. 
Okay, I need that energy, I need

530
00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:03,100
that mail around me. 
I need that testosterone. 

531
00:25:03,100 --> 00:25:06,200
I need that, you know? 
And then before your period, 

532
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,500
when your body is going, you 
know, we don't need to have sex.

533
00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:12,000
You absolutely can. 
But you know, it's probably a 

534
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,700
lie not going to want it as 
much. 

535
00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:16,700
Maybe you want to be a little 
bit more secluded on your own a 

536
00:25:16,708 --> 00:25:20,400
bit more, you know, in the dark 
in your cave, goodbye boyfriend.

537
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,200
And you kind of want to scream 
at him a little bit. 

538
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,900
You know, those vibes, then you 
might want me belong more likely

539
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:28,500
to want to break up with him. 
In the thing is, you need to be 

540
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:32,200
with someone that you like in 
every single phase of your 

541
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,000
cycle. 
All right, let me say that one 

542
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:38,200
more time, you need to be with 
somebody that you can tolerate 

543
00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:42,900
in every phase of your cycle. 
And so if you can make these 

544
00:25:42,900 --> 00:25:45,800
decisions over time and check in
with yourself throughout the 

545
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,100
month, because that's a really 
interesting way to make 

546
00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:52,400
decisions and it gives you a 
really balanced idea of how you 

547
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:56,400
might actually feel after you've
made that choice as you go 

548
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,500
through multiple months after 
making that choice. 

549
00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:03,100
All right? 
Number four is to stop asking 

550
00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:06,000
other people, their opinions all
the time. 

551
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,400
I used to do this so much and 
this is why I pointed out 

552
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:14,200
because I think I used to think 
I was like Outsourcing you know 

553
00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:16,000
what I mean? 
I think I used to think that I 

554
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,800
was like so smart and like are 
you know, this person so wise. 

555
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,900
So I'm going to trust them to 
make this decision from here. 

556
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,300
They have experience with this 
thing. 

557
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:27,500
Here's the thing, just because 
someone has experience with 

558
00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:30,000
something, doesn't mean that 
they're going to give you good 

559
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,400
advice on, what's going to be 
good for you. 

560
00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:35,400
First of all, they have a 
completely different set of 

561
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,600
values. 
They have a completely different

562
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,900
view of the world and why they 
would make the choices they 

563
00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:44,900
would make, they have a whole 
different history than you. 

564
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,100
Secondly, people have different 
types of personalities, 

565
00:26:49,100 --> 00:26:52,200
different needs, different 
reasons to want to be. 

566
00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:55,900
E in maybe a job, that's more 
Hands-On, or less Hands-On, or 

567
00:26:55,900 --> 00:26:59,600
more active, or less active. 
Like they will just give you 

568
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,600
advice as if it were them and 
you are not them. 

569
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:08,100
And I would say the other thing 
is well I guess three is they 

570
00:27:08,100 --> 00:27:14,500
might tell you to do something 
because it's serving them and 

571
00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:18,200
they might not mean to do this, 
but it is really common. 

572
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,600
Like for example when I moved to
Australia, I actually had pretty

573
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,100
good luck with this. 
But I didn't ask anyone their 

574
00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:27,200
opinion on if I should move. 
But if I were to ask people or 

575
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,800
should I move, you know, to 
Australia? 

576
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:35,500
I could imagine that a lot of 
people would say no or all. 

577
00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:39,100
That seems a bit crazy or all, 
you're only 18, does that seem 

578
00:27:39,100 --> 00:27:41,000
like a big jump? 
You know, moving out of your 

579
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,200
parents house right across the 
world? 

580
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,300
I could imagine that people 
would think I was a bit crazy 

581
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:50,800
and I have made multiple 
decisions like that in my life 

582
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:54,400
where I have literally been like
I probably think I'm crazy but I

583
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,200
just would always know that. 
It was what I was meant to do. 

584
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,900
I would always sit there, I went
through all the options in my 

585
00:27:59,900 --> 00:28:03,200
brain, you know, I visualized, I
was like, you know, do what does

586
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,900
this feel like? 
Does this feel right? 

587
00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:07,200
Am I trusting my gut and not the
end of the day? 

588
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,700
I would know what I needed to do
and maybe it would be decision. 

589
00:28:10,700 --> 00:28:13,200
Like of course, something like 
moving to Australia, isn't a one

590
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,100
day decision. 
That was something that I would 

591
00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:17,800
have made over multiple months. 
I would have, you know, had in 

592
00:28:17,808 --> 00:28:20,300
the back of my mind and then 
kind of work towards did bit of 

593
00:28:20,300 --> 00:28:22,100
research, you know, work towards
it. 

594
00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:27,200
Lowly that I will just say that.
Be aware of who you're asking 

595
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,700
advice from, you can absolutely 
ask people advice. 

596
00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:34,900
I think that we should all be in
communities that we feel we can 

597
00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:37,900
trust and we are loved by and 
were supported by. 

598
00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:42,200
I think you should definitely be
supported by people and not like

599
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,600
work as this Lone Wolf. 
I really think we need Community

600
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:49,900
but I don't think that when you 
are making choices that are 

601
00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:53,500
really important in the really 
Direct attempt to just you and I

602
00:28:53,500 --> 00:28:58,800
going to affect really mostly 
you that you should be going and

603
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,600
making decisions 100% based off 
of one person's opinions. 

604
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,200
And a lot of people will have 
this where, you know, they've 

605
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:06,800
always been so close with their 
mom. 

606
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,400
They've always been so close 
with their dad or, you know, 

607
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,800
their best friend is the one who
is usually making the decisions 

608
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,300
about where they're going to go.
What they're going to do with 

609
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:18,900
their life and accidentally, or 
maybe they don't even ask it 

610
00:29:18,900 --> 00:29:22,100
comes up in conversation about a
choice that you should. 

611
00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:25,600
Ache or this person should make 
and that friend will go and give

612
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,500
their opinion and say, oh well, 
you shouldn't do this you 

613
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:28,800
because you're like this, you 
know? 

614
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,700
No, you're you're pretty 
introverted. 

615
00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:33,000
You wouldn't want to do that or 
your extroverted. 

616
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,200
That would be way too bubble 
ball for you and they say, you 

617
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,200
know, you are this, you are that
you wouldn't like this, you 

618
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,400
wouldn't like that. 
And I think that often people 

619
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,000
put us in boxes without meaning 
to. 

620
00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:47,700
And I think it's just really 
important that we are always 

621
00:29:47,700 --> 00:29:52,400
stepping out of these boxes and 
these layers and these These 

622
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,000
titles we put on ourselves. 
Like, you know, exactly what I 

623
00:29:55,008 --> 00:29:57,300
just said. 
Like, you know, I'm an introvert

624
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:02,800
or I am smart or I am dumb, or I
am this or I am that. 

625
00:30:02,900 --> 00:30:04,500
If you think, oh, you know, I'm 
smart. 

626
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:07,300
I'm not that fun, but I'm smart.
You don't believe about 

627
00:30:07,300 --> 00:30:08,900
yourself. 
Why would you believe that about

628
00:30:08,900 --> 00:30:11,600
yourself, you know, or, you 
know, I'm, I'm fine. 

629
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,300
But I'm a little bit dizzy or a 
little bit dumb, you know, 

630
00:30:14,300 --> 00:30:16,400
because people told me that 
growing up or because my parents

631
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,900
always said that, or whatever 
you need to pull those things 

632
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:22,000
off of you because that is very 
likely, and it's kind of like a 

633
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,500
bonus. 
Point for you, that is very 

634
00:30:23,500 --> 00:30:26,800
likely affecting your decision 
making you're assuming I fit in 

635
00:30:26,808 --> 00:30:30,600
this box. 
This is who I am and therefore I

636
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:34,800
should make these choices XYZ 
because if I did anything other 

637
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,200
than this than it would be, 
unlike me, you need to get out 

638
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:41,100
of pigeon, holing yourself, you 
need to get out of saying that 

639
00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:42,900
you are these things 
specifically. 

640
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,100
Otherwise, you are going to stay
those things. 

641
00:30:45,100 --> 00:30:48,000
And I sure as hell, believe that
there are things in that box 

642
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:51,300
that you put yourself in that, 
you don't want to be things that

643
00:30:51,300 --> 00:30:53,600
are negative things. 
Things that you think oh, you 

644
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,200
know, that's just me, wish it 
wasn't but it's just me. 

645
00:30:56,500 --> 00:31:00,200
Don't do that, don't do that. 
Try to pull those things off of 

646
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,500
you. 
And obviously, you know, there 

647
00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:05,100
are some things that maybe are 
just a bit obvious to you that. 

648
00:31:05,100 --> 00:31:07,400
It's just who you are. 
You know, if your hair is brown,

649
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,900
your hair is brown or you know, 
if you are naturally artistic, 

650
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:13,300
if it's a good thing, let's 
obviously keep encouraging those

651
00:31:13,300 --> 00:31:16,400
things, you know, and if it's an
obvious thing, that's totally 

652
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,800
fine but if it's something that 
people told you, that might 

653
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,800
really just not be true about 
you. 

654
00:31:20,900 --> 00:31:23,100
Then let's work on. 
During those labels from 

655
00:31:23,100 --> 00:31:25,300
ourselves because that is not 
only going to help your decision

656
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:27,600
making, but that's going to help
your relationships. 

657
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,900
It's going to make your 
relationship was better because 

658
00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:33,100
you're gonna feel so much more 
confident in them, you're going 

659
00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:35,100
to feel more confident as an 
individual, which is going to 

660
00:31:35,108 --> 00:31:37,200
make you stand up for what you 
want. 

661
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,600
And it's going to help you to 
move forward and relationships 

662
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,900
in a way that actually is going 
to be good for you, long term, 

663
00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:46,000
and serve you and also serve the
other person because you're 

664
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,300
honest. 
And you're really being yourself

665
00:31:48,300 --> 00:31:49,700
and it's going to help you in 
the future. 

666
00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:52,100
It's going to just make you feel
better. 

667
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,000
Better day to day and it's 
gonna, of course, help your 

668
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:59,000
decision making as I mentioned. 
So, let's move on point five. 

669
00:31:59,100 --> 00:32:01,700
This is the last point. 
This one's a bit of a 

670
00:32:01,708 --> 00:32:05,200
long-winded one, not 
long-winded, but I'm going to go

671
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:08,500
through some questions here. 
So these are questions that I 

672
00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:12,200
want you to ask yourself. 
When you come to making a 

673
00:32:12,208 --> 00:32:16,500
decision again, this is going to
be probably bigger decisions a 

674
00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:19,100
little bit less about what to 
get on the menu. 

675
00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:22,100
But this is probably what you're
here for. 

676
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,800
Anyways, I think if you're 
trying to figure out what you're

677
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,900
going to get for ubereats 
tonight and you were listening 

678
00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:30,200
to this podcast, to figure it 
out, then I would be actually be

679
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,200
a bit worried. 
I'd be really worried for you on

680
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:36,400
that one. 
But first of all, does it align 

681
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:39,300
with my values? 
I want you to ask yourself that 

682
00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:42,800
if you don't know what your 
values are, that's really 

683
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,100
important, I would encourage you
to take the time to think about 

684
00:32:46,100 --> 00:32:49,200
what your values are. 
And you can do this in a quick 

685
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,000
way by just like going and doing
a quiz online. 

686
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:56,100
I have an episode on this as 
well, actually, let me find for 

687
00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:58,800
you what it's called. 
So I call this episode 

688
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,800
deconstructing your beliefs and 
this was my story of how I 

689
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,300
actually left the church and I 
left the religion that I was a 

690
00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:09,000
part of growing up the Christian
faith. 

691
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:14,600
And I basically talked about how
I re-established, what my values

692
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,300
were as a person. 
And so like I said, you can do 

693
00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:20,500
that by doing like a little quiz
online. 

694
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,300
You can also just look up like a
Whole bunch of values and go 

695
00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:26,400
through and I would encourage 
you to print it out rather than 

696
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,900
just like looking at a list 
because I feel like that's not 

697
00:33:28,900 --> 00:33:32,100
going to give you the like 
tactile experience and that's 

698
00:33:32,100 --> 00:33:34,500
not going to help you like 
legitimize that experience as 

699
00:33:34,500 --> 00:33:35,900
much personally, that's what I 
would do. 

700
00:33:35,900 --> 00:33:39,700
But printing it out, circling 
anything that you feel like 

701
00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:42,600
could be you, you know, 
something that you identify 

702
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:43,900
with, or you would naturally 
think. 

703
00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:46,600
Oh, yeah, that's me, that's me, 
go through and then try to bring

704
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,000
it all the way down to five 
terms and be like, okay, that's 

705
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000
my values. 
For me, for example, one of my 

706
00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:55,400
Values is empathy hugely. 
I've always been extremely 

707
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,900
empathetic almost to the point 
where I can like feel other 

708
00:33:58,900 --> 00:34:00,400
people in the room. 
It sounds weird. 

709
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,400
Sounds dumb. 
But like, I'll be sitting across

710
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,000
from someone and it's like all 
when I say like, oh, my heart 

711
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,500
breaks for you, it's like it 
literally does or like I can 

712
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:12,000
just when someone's telling of a
story, oh, and they're angry. 

713
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,300
All I just get so angry for 
them, too. 

714
00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:17,199
And I'm like, if you, it's so 
funny, I'm very reactive. 

715
00:34:17,199 --> 00:34:20,300
If you ever talk to me in 
person, I'll be like, no, like 

716
00:34:20,300 --> 00:34:23,300
I'm like, that's fucked. 
I I can't believe that like I'm 

717
00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:26,500
just gonna get really into it. 
So I really feel for people. 

718
00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:30,699
And so for me, that's a value of
mine being empathetic and 

719
00:34:30,699 --> 00:34:33,199
showing empathy to other people,
I guess I would say. 

720
00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:36,199
And yeah, it becomes a value 
because it's just a part of me. 

721
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,400
So it doesn't align with your 
values. 

722
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,500
Do you feel like that going 
forward is going to be something

723
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:44,300
that when it comes to like your 
conscience, you're like yes, 

724
00:34:44,300 --> 00:34:46,699
that was a good choice and I was
thinking about future me and 

725
00:34:46,699 --> 00:34:50,100
that situation and I was 
supporting me, amazing great. 

726
00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:53,199
Number two is What is my gut 
telling me? 

727
00:34:53,199 --> 00:34:56,199
And I've kind of, like, mention 
this a little bit today, through

728
00:34:56,199 --> 00:34:59,000
today's episode, but I wanted to
take some time to specifically 

729
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:03,600
talk about it, because some 
people will say that their gut 

730
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,900
feeling is their intuition, some
people will say, you know, if 

731
00:35:06,900 --> 00:35:09,300
you do follow say the Christian 
faith that you'll say, that's 

732
00:35:09,300 --> 00:35:13,200
the Holy Spirit, you know, 
speaking to you and however, you

733
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:17,100
want to categorize this, I 
respect that like however, you 

734
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:22,300
see it, that it applies for you.
Think about that version of You 

735
00:35:22,300 --> 00:35:25,800
think that inner thing is that 
maybe talking to you and let's 

736
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:29,900
hone in on that for a second. 
Because that is so powerful. 

737
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,700
I've, I call it my intuition, my
intuition personally, and I just

738
00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:37,100
feel like it is so, so, so 
powerful. 

739
00:35:37,100 --> 00:35:39,900
I feel like there's so many 
times that we know. 

740
00:35:39,900 --> 00:35:43,200
We actually know what we should 
do, especially these big choices

741
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,100
these things that have been 
weighing on us. 

742
00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:47,100
We actually know what we should 
do. 

743
00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:50,400
Like we know that job is 
draining and we need to get out 

744
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:54,300
of it or we know We need to get 
rid of that friend, who's just 

745
00:35:54,300 --> 00:35:58,500
been bringing us down and it 
sucks because we think fuck a 

746
00:35:58,500 --> 00:35:59,500
lot. 
I don't have any other friends 

747
00:35:59,500 --> 00:36:02,500
or, you know, I don't have any 
friends like that or I really 

748
00:36:02,700 --> 00:36:05,300
liked that this friend connected
me to this and this and this 

749
00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:07,800
person and I'm going to lose all
those friendships because of 

750
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,200
them. 
But you know, like, you know, 

751
00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:14,100
sometimes that choice that you 
need to make but you don't want 

752
00:36:14,100 --> 00:36:16,400
to make it, you know, the 
answer. 

753
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,300
But you're sitting there and 
you're going well, let's 

754
00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:20,400
rationalize, let's do this, 
let's do this. 

755
00:36:20,700 --> 00:36:23,400
And unless you're making a 
choice, You're putting yourself 

756
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:27,100
in danger or, you know, other 
people are aggressively being 

757
00:36:27,100 --> 00:36:28,800
like, don't do it, don't do it, 
don't do it, don't do it. 

758
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,200
Like, trust me, trust me. 
Trust me and you really trust 

759
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,000
these people and you think that,
you know, maybe they are writer,

760
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,200
you know, you're still on the 
fence. 

761
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:40,800
If, you know, you fucking know, 
you know, and that can be really

762
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,900
hard. 
And so if you're at this point 

763
00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:48,000
in the episode and you're going,
fuck, I know I know the answer. 

764
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:51,700
I'm just, you know, hoping that 
I can find a way to like weasel 

765
00:36:51,700 --> 00:36:54,200
out of it. 
It then, you gotta be real with 

766
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,900
yourself. 
You've got to cut the BS, and 

767
00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:59,700
this is so important. 
And I will tell you a quick 

768
00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:03,500
story, when I was in high 
school, I dated a guy for three 

769
00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:05,900
years. 
That's like literally almost my 

770
00:37:05,900 --> 00:37:07,800
whole High School experience 
this motherfucker. 

771
00:37:08,100 --> 00:37:11,100
And you know what? 
To be fair we did have a very 

772
00:37:11,100 --> 00:37:16,200
decent relationship for most of 
it and I do like ver. 

773
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:20,500
I liked that person a lot. 
I love that person a lot and we 

774
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:22,000
got two years into our 
relationship. 

775
00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:24,800
And we needed to break up, we 
needed to break up. 

776
00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:28,000
We fought all the time, cats and
dogs, like curse. 

777
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,400
Like we fought so much and we 
had a lot of great times as 

778
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,400
well, but there's just so much 
toxicity and it was so bad and 

779
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,700
we're pretty young to, you know,
like 17. 

780
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,900
Is she at that time? 
Yeah. 

781
00:37:38,900 --> 00:37:42,500
Like we just needed to break up 
like so badly and all of our 

782
00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:44,400
friends were always. 
So sick of hearing is fighting 

783
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,400
and getting in the middle of 
fights in all this bullshit. 

784
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,300
And everybody was like, you guys
should break up and it was hard 

785
00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:51,600
because some people thought you 
know, you guys were we were 

786
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,400
great. 
Like my mom like she was like, I

787
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,200
love him. 
Like I love having him around, 

788
00:37:55,500 --> 00:37:56,700
you know? 
So then I was like, oh, maybe 

789
00:37:56,700 --> 00:37:59,400
it's fine, maybe it's fine. 
And so, like I would use every 

790
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,000
excuse. 
Like, oh, but my mom really 

791
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,400
likes him or all, you know, we 
have this whole history or use 

792
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,600
all these excuses to stay with 
him. 

793
00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:11,100
Even though I knew, I knew we 
shouldn't be together, we 

794
00:38:11,100 --> 00:38:14,200
shouldn't still be together and 
I'm telling you, we got back 

795
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:19,400
together after that, two year 
mark, and it was, it's like one 

796
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,900
of the worst choices I've made. 
I don't look out. 

797
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:24,600
Think about it anymore ever, I 
don't worry about it. 

798
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,400
I don't obviously you know it 
doesn't affect me anymore but I 

799
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:31,000
do look back and go God, I 
should have listened to my gut. 

800
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,600
I should have listened to my 
heart. 

801
00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:36,500
I should have gone through with 
the feeling the thing I knew I 

802
00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:40,800
needed to do but I didn't do 
because it was too hard for me, 

803
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,200
emotionally to make that choice 
to not stay in that relationship

804
00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:47,600
and it's crazy because like, 
after, you know, I made that 

805
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,800
choice to stay with him, like 
things got worse, like there's, 

806
00:38:51,100 --> 00:38:55,000
you know, Lots of tea I could 
spill but it just was not good, 

807
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,900
not good at all. 
And I would just so encourage 

808
00:38:57,900 --> 00:39:03,900
you, please listen to your gut 
and sometimes a lot of people 

809
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:07,200
will be telling you to not make 
that choice like I said or 

810
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,600
really important people in your 
life. 

811
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,400
Like some people will be saying 
to you like no but they're 

812
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:12,700
great. 
You guys are so fun together. 

813
00:39:12,700 --> 00:39:16,000
I got so funny together or you 
know all but I thought you loved

814
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:16,900
your job. 
I thought you do. 

815
00:39:16,900 --> 00:39:18,500
You guys talk about do you love 
this person? 

816
00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:20,300
You love working with these 
people, whatever. 

817
00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:23,900
Whatever people will you know, 
try To be positive or whatever. 

818
00:39:23,900 --> 00:39:26,800
But sometimes you know what you 
need to do for you. 

819
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:32,500
So please listen to you. 
Next, I would say is this 

820
00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:36,500
Choice, A wise choice and I 
think wisdom is something that 

821
00:39:36,700 --> 00:39:39,800
it's hard to like, put your 
finger on and really figure out 

822
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,500
what wisdom is. 
I would say, it's not about it 

823
00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:46,500
being a smart choice, it's not 
about it being like a healthy 

824
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:50,500
choice necessarily sometimes. 
It's about like wisdom. 

825
00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:53,100
So serve for example, the reason
I'm saying it that way is like 

826
00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:56,500
saying going, bungee jumping to 
some people, might go, they 

827
00:39:56,500 --> 00:39:58,800
might go all this not save, I 
would never do that, you know, 

828
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,600
that's not why. 
Wise to me I don't think wisdom 

829
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:05,500
is always the safest option. 
I think it's something that is 

830
00:40:05,500 --> 00:40:08,700
going to give you something. 
It's something that's going to 

831
00:40:08,707 --> 00:40:11,800
be fulfilling. 
Its something that is going to 

832
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,800
come from a place of like, you 
know, when I'm on my deathbed, 

833
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,700
I'm going to be thankful that I 
did this thing to me, that's 

834
00:40:18,700 --> 00:40:20,000
wisdom. 
Like, but I think it was dumb. 

835
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,800
I think of like, older people, 
you know, I think of experience,

836
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,300
I think of people who just, you 
know, they're really connected 

837
00:40:25,300 --> 00:40:28,200
to themselves and so, I think 
when it comes to wisdom, it does

838
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:31,600
come back to that gut feeling. 
And it also comes back to like, 

839
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,200
is this going to make future me 
proud. 

840
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,600
And I guess I can just kind of 
odd that in as another Point 

841
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:40,600
here is like, is this a good 
choice for future me and I try 

842
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:44,100
to do this as much as I can. 
Actually, I'll I'll prioritize 

843
00:40:44,100 --> 00:40:47,100
doing at least one thing a day 
for future me and you're going 

844
00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:50,100
to do lots of things, everything
every single day for future you.

845
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,200
But I just try to put an 
emphasis on it because it 

846
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,000
reminds me to do it. 
So like for example making my 

847
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:58,000
bed every morning is something 
that I've been doing for future 

848
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,400
me, you know Cleaning the house 
like the night before. 

849
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,100
So I wake up to a clean home. 
That's something I'm doing for 

850
00:41:04,100 --> 00:41:06,700
future me. 
Getting my outfit ready for the 

851
00:41:06,700 --> 00:41:08,300
next morning. 
Like, I did that last night 

852
00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:10,400
because I knew I had to wake up 
at 5:00 a.m. this morning to 

853
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,600
teach Pilates. 
I was like, okay, let's get 

854
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,900
everything down to like my socks
and my period, undies like 

855
00:41:15,900 --> 00:41:17,500
organized. 
So that when I wake up in the 

856
00:41:17,500 --> 00:41:20,900
morning, I'm not digging through
my drawer at 5:00 a.m. like a 

857
00:41:20,900 --> 00:41:23,100
crazy person. 
When my I know my brain doesn't 

858
00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:26,200
work very well when I first wake
up, I'm going to be ready and 

859
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,800
I'm going to be prepared. 
So making choices for future. 

860
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:33,000
Ryu is It's comes down to 
self-respect and it really shows

861
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,300
you that you care about your 
life, you care about your 

862
00:41:36,300 --> 00:41:39,100
choices. 
You care about fulfilling things

863
00:41:39,100 --> 00:41:42,100
that you want in life, and it 
just shows you, which I think 

864
00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:45,700
this is really important proving
things to yourself that you have

865
00:41:45,700 --> 00:41:49,600
the ability to be 
self-controlled to be consistent

866
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,000
to be aware of the things you 
want and that you're actually 

867
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,300
going to be able to go after 
them. 

868
00:41:54,100 --> 00:41:58,700
Just a few more questions here 
is this Choice out of my comfort

869
00:41:58,700 --> 00:42:03,200
zone and if If so, that's a 
great thing, you do not grow in 

870
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:06,100
your comfort zone and I have 
feel like I've proven this to 

871
00:42:06,100 --> 00:42:09,700
myself, time and time again, 
like moving to Australia was not

872
00:42:09,700 --> 00:42:11,900
comfortable. 
The day, I moved to Australia. 

873
00:42:11,900 --> 00:42:15,400
I had a horrible anxiety attack,
which I literally talked about 

874
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:19,500
on last week's episode. 
Like, when I started teaching 

875
00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:21,700
Pilates, I was extremely 
anxious. 

876
00:42:21,700 --> 00:42:25,100
Like, I was literally there the 
night before up before bed, at, 

877
00:42:25,100 --> 00:42:27,000
like, four am tossing, and 
turning. 

878
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,500
Because I had to teach the next 
day for literally Ten minutes 

879
00:42:30,500 --> 00:42:33,100
out of a class of 50 minutes 
where the other instructor was 

880
00:42:33,100 --> 00:42:35,700
going to teach the rest of it. 
And I was shitting bricks, guys,

881
00:42:35,700 --> 00:42:38,600
I was so scared. 
And you know what? 

882
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,700
I grew so much all of those 
decisions where I've been, so 

883
00:42:41,700 --> 00:42:43,300
scared the next day. 
Oh, it's gonna happen. 

884
00:42:43,300 --> 00:42:46,100
All am I going to be any good 
whatever, whatever, who cares? 

885
00:42:46,100 --> 00:42:47,700
Because you know what? 
You're going to get through it 

886
00:42:47,700 --> 00:42:49,100
and then you're out of your 
comfort zone. 

887
00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:52,600
And you've just proved yourself.
Once again, that you can do hard

888
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,900
things, and that is extremely 
powerful. 

889
00:42:54,900 --> 00:42:58,600
So try to make decisions that 
are out of your comfort zone, 

890
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,800
and of course, That's still 
going to be, you know, something

891
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,500
that's safe. 
Something that's why you're 

892
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:04,500
going to take all of these 
lovely questions. 

893
00:43:04,500 --> 00:43:07,100
I've asked you together. 
All, you know, you're going to 

894
00:43:07,100 --> 00:43:10,100
consider all of them, but try to
get out of that comfort zone. 

895
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,700
I would say as well, what? 
I encourage my best friend to 

896
00:43:13,700 --> 00:43:17,200
make this Choice. 
That's a big one this year 2023.

897
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:22,300
We are all focusing on being a 
good best friend to ourselves 

898
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:25,500
treating ourselves. 
Like we would a friend, you 

899
00:43:25,500 --> 00:43:28,100
know, we're going to allow 
ourselves to have more breaks 

900
00:43:28,100 --> 00:43:29,500
the way that we would say to our
friends. 

901
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:33,000
And you need to take a rest, say
that to yourself picture 

902
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,800
yourself as your friend, you 
know, when you're talking down 

903
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,300
on yourself, when you're saying 
something negative about your 

904
00:43:38,300 --> 00:43:41,400
body, or your personality, or 
your grades, or your job, 

905
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:44,700
performance, or whatever, you're
going to go, don't be so hard on

906
00:43:44,707 --> 00:43:47,600
yourself like you are amazing, 
at blah, blah, blah blah blah. 

907
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,900
We're going to start to talk to 
ourselves that way, because we 

908
00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:52,100
deserve it, okay? 
Would you encourage your best 

909
00:43:52,100 --> 00:43:55,600
friend to make this choice? 
And lastly is the big one. 

910
00:43:55,900 --> 00:43:58,800
Who am I trying to please? 
By making this Choice. 

911
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,100
Who am I? 
Trying to please. 

912
00:44:00,100 --> 00:44:04,000
If it's not you then it doesn't 
matter if it does. 

913
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:08,900
It's not you, it's not you then 
and I will say, the only thing, 

914
00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:10,400
the only teeny tiny little 
thing. 

915
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:14,300
I will have to say about this is
do not try to please your 

916
00:44:14,300 --> 00:44:15,900
parents. 
You know, don't try to please 

917
00:44:15,900 --> 00:44:19,300
your family. 
If you have a partner that you 

918
00:44:19,300 --> 00:44:21,700
have a long-term plan with and 
you want to do things together 

919
00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:24,500
or you are married or you know, 
something where it's like 

920
00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:27,600
committed committed committed, I
would say that you obviously 

921
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,300
have some sort of 
responsibility. 

922
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,600
To make a choice that aligns 
with them. 

923
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:35,000
Of course, I would do that with 
my partner but if do not apply 

924
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,200
this to you, if you've been 
dating some guy for like, three 

925
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,700
months, okay. 
Dead-ass like this isn't for you

926
00:44:39,700 --> 00:44:40,300
bitch. 
Okay. 

927
00:44:40,300 --> 00:44:43,100
This is for anybody who's been 
with someone for like a little 

928
00:44:43,100 --> 00:44:46,400
while and it's like you know you
really know that you have a full

929
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,500
future together. 
That's like that's the plan and 

930
00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:52,000
I would still say sometimes 
there's some exceptions to that 

931
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,100
but generally you know keep it 
in context and of course if you 

932
00:44:55,107 --> 00:44:57,900
have kids as well then they are 
your responsibility. 

933
00:44:57,900 --> 00:45:00,700
So you have to consider Them. 
You made that choice. 

934
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,400
But otherwise, who are you 
pleasing? 

935
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:06,400
If it's people on social media. 
Boo, don't do it. 

936
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,400
Don't know. 
Don't worry about it. 

937
00:45:08,700 --> 00:45:11,600
Who gives a fuck, you know, it's
literally all bullshit. 

938
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,400
It's all online. 
It's just like little pixels on 

939
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,400
your phone. 
Like, why are you stressing? 

940
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,700
Don't stress. 
If you're trying to please your 

941
00:45:17,700 --> 00:45:19,000
parents, you're never going to 
do that. 

942
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,700
So just don't worry about that 
one. 

943
00:45:21,300 --> 00:45:24,200
They're always going to love 
you, you know, even if you do 

944
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:28,000
things that disappoint them, or 
you don't follow like me, the 

945
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,400
religion that they brought you 
up. 

946
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,100
In right? 
I can relate guys. 

947
00:45:31,100 --> 00:45:33,300
I'm not just saying shit to say,
shit. 

948
00:45:33,300 --> 00:45:35,000
This is real. 
All right. 

949
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,600
Like, even if you let them down 
in certain ways, it's you're 

950
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,600
never going to really let them 
down. 

951
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,400
You need to make decisions for 
you. 

952
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:45,000
You need to please yourself 
because you have to deal with 

953
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:48,300
yourself forever. 
You have to live with yourself 

954
00:45:48,300 --> 00:45:51,200
forever. 
So make choices that serve you 

955
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,700
and that support you and make 
you feel like you are living the

956
00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:57,700
life that you want to be living 
and that are bringing you closer

957
00:45:57,700 --> 00:46:00,700
to being the better version that
you want to be of yourself 

958
00:46:00,700 --> 00:46:03,700
because you deserve it, you 
deserve to be poured into you 

959
00:46:03,707 --> 00:46:06,600
deserve to spend time on 
yourself and you deserve to 

960
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,600
treat yourself with respect and 
love yourself enough, to make 

961
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,600
decisions that are going to fuel
you for a full life and a life 

962
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:17,800
that makes you feel good. 
So that is today's episode. 

963
00:46:18,100 --> 00:46:20,000
That's it, that's all. 
Thank you guys so much for 

964
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,600
listening. 
I hope that you have made a 

965
00:46:22,607 --> 00:46:25,500
decision. 
Know if you are struggling to 

966
00:46:25,500 --> 00:46:28,700
make a big decision right now, 
then I wish you luck, I really 

967
00:46:28,700 --> 00:46:31,800
do. 
And I just encourage you to 

968
00:46:32,100 --> 00:46:35,300
think about those questions and 
maybe even sit down and you can 

969
00:46:35,300 --> 00:46:36,800
Journal any one of those 
questions. 

970
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,400
I think I just gave you like 
almost ten questions there if 

971
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:43,000
you can go back, just a 10 
minutes or so listen through 

972
00:46:43,100 --> 00:46:45,600
write them down and actually 
reflect on them. 

973
00:46:45,700 --> 00:46:49,000
Because if this has been, if 
this is a resource that you've 

974
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,000
been needing, if you've been 
struggling with this thing for a

975
00:46:51,008 --> 00:46:54,100
long time, you might as well if 
you've tried everything else. 

976
00:46:54,100 --> 00:46:56,600
If this is stressed you out if 
it's made you anxious you 

977
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:57,500
anxious. 
Hello. 

978
00:46:57,700 --> 00:46:59,300
You might as well go and do 
that. 

979
00:46:59,500 --> 00:47:00,600
At. 
So go ahead. 

980
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:03,500
Let me know if that helps you. 
Let me know if you want to chat 

981
00:47:03,500 --> 00:47:06,700
more about any of this. 
Again, I answer all my dams I'm 

982
00:47:06,700 --> 00:47:08,400
around. 
I'm here for you besties, I got 

983
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,600
you a list of Taylor Harper. 
That's my Tick, Tock Instagram, 

984
00:47:11,900 --> 00:47:13,700
that's it. 
If you don't already follow the 

985
00:47:13,707 --> 00:47:16,700
podcast on Spotify or apple 
podcast wherever you listen, 

986
00:47:16,900 --> 00:47:18,900
then, please go ahead and do 
that because that does help me 

987
00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:22,800
and it also helps other people 
to find the podcast and that's 

988
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,000
it. 
Guys, we've got a Facebook group

989
00:47:25,100 --> 00:47:27,300
called The she said, what's 
podcast group. 

990
00:47:27,300 --> 00:47:29,300
So come join us over there for 
some fun too. 

991
00:47:29,500 --> 00:47:32,100
Chats, and hangs. 
And that's it. 

992
00:47:32,100 --> 00:47:34,700
I hope you have a lovely day and
I'll see you guys next week. 

993
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:35,800
Bye guys.