1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,800 You're listening to, she said what with your host? 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,900 Alyssa Harper? Hello hot. 3 00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:07,700 And also sexy people, welcome back to. 4 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:10,200 She said, what if you've not been here before then my name is 5 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,900 Alyssa. I am your host. 6 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:16,500 This podcast is all about helping you become the best 7 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:19,500 version of yourself. That means teaching you how to 8 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:23,900 grow your friendships and grow in understanding your sexuality, 9 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:27,700 having a better sex life, having a better relationship with 10 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:31,000 yourself and talking about all the things that That I find we 11 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,200 don't talk about enough with our friends. 12 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,200 So that's what this podcast is all about. 13 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,200 If you haven't been here before, and if you have been here 14 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,500 before, then welcome back. It's so nice to see you again, 15 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,900 today's episode, we're gonna be talking about friends because 16 00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:46,000 this week, I feel like I've really connected with a lot of 17 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,600 people. And I've had some experiences 18 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,000 this week that have literally been like, wow, this is why we 19 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,200 need community in our life and I'm just feeling so inspired on 20 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,400 this topic right now that I was like, this is exactly what I 21 00:00:57,408 --> 00:00:59,900 need to talk about right now. And something that I've been 22 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,500 Hearing from you guys a lot recently as well saying that 23 00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:05,400 you're either feeling lonely or you feel like you don't know how 24 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,500 to meet new people. And I want to give you all of 25 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,100 the little tips and advice, I can give you because this is 26 00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:12,500 something that I struggle with for a very long time. 27 00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:16,100 And I worked through some different like methods, I guess 28 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:19,100 two meeting people and being around different people and also 29 00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:23,200 building that confidence with myself that I am valuable and I 30 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,000 am a good friend and I am worthy of having friends and I just 31 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,800 think it's something that is really important and something I 32 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,800 want to share about. So What today's episode is 33 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:39,200 about, let's get right into it, quick little update on my week 34 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:43,500 as per use. So as I said, I've just been 35 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:46,500 running around like a crazy chicken with my head cut off 36 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:50,500 because it's Mardi Gras in Sydney right now, which around 37 00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:53,300 the world Mardi. Gras isn't necessarily like a 38 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:56,400 pride thing. But in Sydney in Australia, it 39 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,800 is pride. Gay pride, lgbtqia+, Peru. 40 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,600 I'd and it is like gay Christmas, like, Christmastime 41 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,199 honestly was pretty chill for me, Mardi Gras season insane, 42 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,900 insane, just back to back, to back to back, and it is so much 43 00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:14,300 fun. And I'm so thankful to be doing 44 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,800 a job where, like, I can, you know, put things aside and kind 45 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,900 of like, focus in on relationships and stuff like 46 00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,700 that. I'm very, very thankful to be 47 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,100 doing what I'm doing and actually update on off. 48 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:27,600 I told you guys this last week, but I taught my last pilates 49 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,400 class, two days ago and I'm officially Like full-time doing 50 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,100 social media, which is insane and again something that I'm so 51 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:36,000 so grateful for so thank you. If you've been watching my 52 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,000 podcast for a while and supporting me because this is 53 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,600 like my dream, this is literally the only thing that I want to be 54 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,300 doing with my time and now that I have the time to really, like 55 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:46,400 invest in the podcast, you're going to be seeing a lot more 56 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,100 episodes and obviously we have video podcasts going as well 57 00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,800 now. So if you're listening watching 58 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,600 on YouTube and on Spotify you can see the video. 59 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,100 If you're watching on our listening I guess on Apple 60 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,500 podcasts and you're only going to be listening to it but just 61 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,200 so, you know. Leo is available if you are just 62 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,200 listening right now. But yeah, my week's been really, 63 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,500 really great. And I've been really happy to be 64 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,400 just celebrating queer Joy, especially because I came out as 65 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,500 bisexual. Only about 3 years ago, like, 66 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:17,600 I've always known I was by, I've always known, I was queer, but I 67 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,200 think, for a long time, I didn't come out because I was in a 68 00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,300 situation where I couldn't really come out, and I grew up 69 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,800 in the church and there were things that I wouldn't have been 70 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:30,400 allowed to do within the church. If I did come out and If you've 71 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,600 been listening for a while, you know, that I've had some pretty 72 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,700 intense experiences with the church that I'm obviously no 73 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:39,900 longer a part of that's just not my world anymore but a lot of 74 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,600 like sexual shame and a lot of things that were put on me 75 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,700 things that I was, you know, told I wasn't allowed to do. 76 00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:49,800 And so it's been a big process of unlearning and I've been 77 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,400 sharing that on the podcast as of kind of grown through it. 78 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:56,300 And so it's been interesting and I just think friends is this 79 00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:59,200 topic that can be. So touchy for people and you 80 00:03:59,208 --> 00:04:01,700 don't realize Like I think everybody kind of feels like 81 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,200 they don't have friends sometimes, and I think social 82 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,100 media plays a big part in it. Like we see people hanging out 83 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,000 with these, like, big friend groups where like where did you 84 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,000 get all these friends? Like, literally how do you have 85 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,900 as many friends? And for me, I moved across the 86 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:16,399 world After High School when I was 18. 87 00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:19,399 And so I moved here, met all these amazing people, covid, 88 00:04:19,399 --> 00:04:21,000 hit, boom, bang everybody went home. 89 00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:25,100 Then I had no friends, and I had to like revive that part of my 90 00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:29,100 life and I made an episode quite a while ago about making new 91 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:30,900 friends in like how How to do that. 92 00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:33,600 And it was like very specific into like, you know, dming, 93 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,200 someone how to be chill about it. 94 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,900 Like going on, your first like friend date with someone and 95 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:41,000 like, hyping yourself up for it. And I think I want to do like an 96 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,700 updated kind of version of that and just talked about how 97 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,300 important it is to have Community, because I grew up 98 00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:51,000 with people in my family who were kind of just like, not 99 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,700 fully introverted, but we know we'd hang out with, like, family 100 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:56,600 friends or like, we hang out with family, but everybody's 101 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,800 gone, like, I don't need friends, you know? 102 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,700 I'm like, it's okay. I have like, you know, my kids 103 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,900 and My, you know, our family. So I feel like I never really 104 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,300 have that representation of like what it looks like to have like 105 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,800 long-term healthy friendships through all of your adult life 106 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,200 and as you get older and you're either, not in school anymore or 107 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,000 maybe you aren't doing a job where you're seeing people all 108 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,300 the time. Even when I was teaching 109 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:20,000 Pilates, I was the only one in the studio as an instructor. 110 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,600 So I didn't meet peers, I didn't have peers. 111 00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:25,800 So all of the things that I do with my friends was like, I had 112 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,100 to plan it, I'd like orchestrate it, you know, I had to be 113 00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:32,500 invited to something and That can be just a bit taxing. 114 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:35,900 Like it's it's not easy to do that. 115 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,700 You have to plan, you have to schedule and you have to be 116 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:43,300 willing to be outgoing enough to be like, okay hey, let's hang 117 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,500 out. I want to be your friend and 118 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:48,300 actively pursuing people and I saw something recently it was a 119 00:05:48,308 --> 00:05:53,700 few different actresses. I don't remember who it was. 120 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:55,500 It was literally like a tick tock or something, but they were 121 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,900 talking about how if you want to have a good friendships. 122 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,500 You want have long-lasting. Seeing friendships, then you 123 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:04,500 should actively pursue your friends, like pursue it like, 124 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:07,800 you are dating people date your friends, you know, think about 125 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,900 your friends Love Languages, like consider that, you know, if 126 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:14,700 you have a friend who really cares about quality time than be 127 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:18,100 there when you are with them, be present, don't be on your phone, 128 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:21,200 you know, be that person who's in the room and asking them 129 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,200 about their life, and you're invested in your interest in 130 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,500 them. If you have a friend who really 131 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,700 appreciates like going out and really enjoy is like, being out 132 00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:31,200 in the city like doing all. The fun things do that with 133 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,400 them. And then, if you have things 134 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,000 that you want to do as well with them, like more chill things, 135 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,900 talk to them about that and be aware of what your relationships 136 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,700 actually look like. And so I just today is going to 137 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,300 be pretty chill. Like I'm going to be going 138 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,500 through a few different kind of like points that I thought about 139 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,300 today. And I would say that my main, 140 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:50,800 like all of this is just to encourage you to find community 141 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,400 that is fulfilling for you. That reflects the direction you 142 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:58,600 want to go in and is people that are genuinely going to support 143 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,500 you, especially as you. Grow in life, that they're not 144 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,700 going to be people who are intimidated by your growth. 145 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,000 They're not going to be people who are like, no, you know, 146 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,300 don't don't move because I'm gonna miss you or don't, you 147 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:14,700 know, don't go change this job because no, I like to work with 148 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,600 you, you know, they're, you know, them wanting you to do 149 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:21,200 things for them. It's really common, and 150 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,200 especially when it's like a friend group, you grew up with, 151 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,800 or people that you've been around with for like a long 152 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,700 time, people will get, I don't know. 153 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,800 Jealous. But, like, intimidated by the 154 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,300 fact that you are doing things that is bigger than what you 155 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:39,400 started doing when you first met them and that can be really 156 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,700 intimidating for people. And I think it does come back to 157 00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:45,500 like a issue they have within themselves. 158 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:50,900 I don't think it's on purpose or like, you know, to hurt you. 159 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:54,500 I don't think it's on purpose, but I've seen it with a lot of 160 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:57,900 my friends and I've heard a lot of people not my friends doing 161 00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,700 this obviously, but hearing my friends. 162 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,400 About this with other people as well. 163 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,900 And it's a struggle because if you are listening to this 164 00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:08,600 podcast, you want to grow like you want to become the highest 165 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,000 version of yourself, the best version of yourself, the version 166 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,700 of yourself that is following like those dreams, those 167 00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:16,800 passions, those things that you have that maybe are floating in 168 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,600 the back of your mind and these are things that you want to step 169 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,100 in and if your friends are not stepping into the things that 170 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,800 they want to be doing with their lives, then you're not going to 171 00:08:25,808 --> 00:08:28,400 have that motivation to do it because you're not going to feel 172 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,000 like it's necessary. You know, it's going to be easy 173 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:35,400 to take that step back, it's going to be easy to justify, not 174 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,900 putting yourself out there or not going to that like first 175 00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:40,900 Fitness class for the first time, even though you're nervous 176 00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:44,300 because you're like you're happy with being in your comfort zone 177 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,700 and everyone around you is and you'll stay there. 178 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:51,700 And so what this is meant to be is to encourage you to step out 179 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,000 of that. So that's we're going to be 180 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,000 talking about today. Yeah if you're someone who says 181 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,100 I don't need any friends, then we're going to talk about that 182 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,700 and also So if you're one of those people worried, like I 183 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,900 feel like I see people on social media, all the time, with all 184 00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:06,000 these friends and I'll have any friends, I feel like a loser, 185 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:08,300 then I'm gonna kind of help you through that because I've 186 00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:12,700 definitely felt that many times in my life this week. 187 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:17,500 I went to something called by shorts, which was a screening of 188 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:22,500 a bunch of short films about bisexuality and I'm bisexual and 189 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:27,200 it brought me to tears. It literally, I have not felt 190 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,600 that way in a very, very long time. 191 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:34,900 I felt so validated. Like I just have never never 192 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:37,700 never. Never watched a movie and sat 193 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:41,800 there and really been like, oh my God, this is me like I 194 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,100 connect with this so much. Yes, that's exactly what I'm 195 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:47,200 going through. It's never quite hit for me. 196 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:51,700 Like, I've never gotten into like romance like films with, 197 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:54,100 like, straight people because I feel like I'm not that into it, 198 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,400 the odd time I've watched like a queer romance film and I have 199 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:02,100 been really into it but why We don't see enough of that and 200 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:05,600 bisexuality is something that is not represented a lot in the 201 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,200 media at all. Like we barely see it, you know, 202 00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:11,100 and you do get, you know, the odd character and some of these 203 00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:14,100 shows where it is exciting is like oh there's a bisexual 204 00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:16,900 character but often they're portrayed as being over 205 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:20,600 sexualized or being that character that just like sleeps 206 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,200 around that person who's like down for whatever like they 207 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:28,400 don't have any boundaries you know and I think that can be 208 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:32,400 quite limiting. NG and even potentially harmful 209 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:36,400 to actual bisexual people because it doesn't allow you to 210 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:40,600 see what your life can look like as a bisexual person, and show 211 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,800 you the different versions of what that could look like. 212 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,300 And so leaving that queer. Screening like, it's called, 213 00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,400 queer screens, great quick. Yeah, we're good. 214 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:52,800 Yeah, I think that's right. Leaving the screening of the by 215 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,100 shorts was like so incredible for me and I just felt like I 216 00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:58,300 made it to talk about it. If you saw it where I was just 217 00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:00,700 like crying. Really cried on Tick Tock. 218 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:04,000 I was like you this is actually a bit cringe but it was 219 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,500 necessary because I felt like there were so many people that 220 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,200 were commenting in responding being like Oh my gosh, I'm 221 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,000 literally crying. Like I can't believe you're 222 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,500 feeling this way and like it's so true that we don't have this 223 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,000 representation enough. In imagine if we have this kind 224 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,400 of representation growing up as bisexual people. 225 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,000 So so important. So so, so important and why you 226 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,700 need to be around people who are going to do those things with 227 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:24,600 you. Because I went with one of my 228 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,900 friends called blue and blue is queer and amazing. 229 00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,500 And we just Have the best conversations and we were 230 00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,900 literally sat on a hill in Kijiji. 231 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:37,000 Watching the sunset chatting for like two hours before we went to 232 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,100 the screening and it was just the best thing. 233 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,500 And I had this moment where I was like, this is the kind of 234 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,800 friendship that I need these. The kind of people that I need 235 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:47,300 around me because as much as a friend who was just like fun to 236 00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:52,100 go out with and whatever is great, you also need people who 237 00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:56,600 are really there with you and people that have similar like 238 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:00,800 values and morals and Community is just so So important. 239 00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:06,600 I know it's lame that people say this about your top five friends 240 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:11,100 being a reflection of who you are but it is so true. 241 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:16,200 And if you look around at your friends right now and maybe you 242 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,200 don't have a lot of friends and you're like, okay well like I'm 243 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,500 not getting much from that. That's maybe something that you 244 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,600 want to grow in general or if you're looking at your friend 245 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,800 group and you're seeing a bunch of people who are similar to 246 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,600 what we're talking about earlier, where they're all very 247 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:33,800 Comfortable and they're happy to just like hang out and maybe 248 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,900 just do like the job or the schooling or whatever, that 249 00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:39,700 their parents wanted them to do. And they're not stepping out of 250 00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,900 their comfort zone, then I would encourage you to find people who 251 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:45,100 are wanting to step out of their comfort zone. 252 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:49,200 I think the language that you're around is really, really 253 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,400 important. Like if you surround yourself 254 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:57,000 with people who encourage you and genuinely want to see you 255 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:01,100 thrive, it will change your life like I I'm telling you it will 256 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,900 change your life. I have been in friend groups 257 00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:08,300 before where it's not like that. I've been in friend groups like 258 00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:10,900 that where it's like it's like all of us together. 259 00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,700 It's like all or nothing. You know. 260 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:19,200 And I like that I get that but you can get really stuck and you 261 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,700 need people who want to be there with you to help you thrive. 262 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,100 And so surrounding yourself with people intentionally is so 263 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:31,200 necessary, and I think it can seem a bit Like clinical or like 264 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,600 a bit too organized. Sometimes when people talk this 265 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,200 way, or it can seem that way, but I think this is a really, 266 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,700 really good practice that you can do. 267 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,800 So, sit down with a journal and literally write down all the 268 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,100 friends you can think of, you might have two names on there. 269 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,300 You might have 20 names on there, but literally think of 270 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,100 all the people that you are possibly connected to that you 271 00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,500 way you would reach out to to have a coffee. 272 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,000 You know, even if it's just an acquaintance like people, you 273 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,100 know, maybe at your work, your school, whatever, write it down. 274 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:03,300 And then, I want you to look at those people choose like, five, 275 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:08,400 people and focus on those people actually invest in those people. 276 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:13,800 Make it clear to those people that you are wanting to pursue a 277 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,900 relationship with them. And you don't need to do that in 278 00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:18,900 a way that's like weird. And obviously if it's not 279 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,600 reciprocated then you move on. You know to somebody else. 280 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:26,100 I'm not saying to like how not people but it is so powerful 281 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:29,600 when you make someone aware that you want to be there front and I 282 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:34,500 think with social media, like I mentioned earlier often, we feel 283 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:38,300 like everyone has friends. I don't have any friends and 284 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:41,800 there's something wrong with me and you might even have a false 285 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:45,600 sense of connection with people around you or in your community 286 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,600 because you look around and you go. 287 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:48,800 Yeah, I talk to people every day. 288 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,400 You know I'm jamming people every day or two people reply to 289 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:56,300 my stories or I replied people's stories or I have friends on 290 00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:58,700 this little online thing or through a game or whatever. 291 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:03,300 But are Are you able through social media to have very 292 00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,900 intense conversations with people? 293 00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:09,000 Not really, you know, you can send the voice messages and you 294 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,000 can get a bit more detailed in that way. 295 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,800 But it's important that we're actually physically with people 296 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,100 having these kinds of conversations and it's really 297 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:22,300 easy these days to get disconnected from the people in 298 00:15:22,308 --> 00:15:24,300 our lives. So I would encourage you to take 299 00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:28,600 that time step back and have a bit of like an analytical Moment 300 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,900 Like take stock. Because that can be. 301 00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:34,100 So, so valuable in either making a, wow. 302 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,900 I actually don't have a lot of friends or going. 303 00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:39,700 Oh, I actually do have a lot of friends, but I don't feel like 304 00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,800 I'm actually close with any of those friends, and if you're 305 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,500 someone who's friends with everybody, that's awesome. 306 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,800 That's great, that you're someone who's confident and 307 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,900 being able to like, walk around and say, hey to everyone and be 308 00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:52,200 that person, like, in the cafeteria to, like, talk to 309 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,300 everyone or that person who's, like, out of club or whatever 310 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,900 you dancing. And you're able to just like 311 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,400 make eye contact with him and be like, hey, like dance with them. 312 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,300 And then like talk to them. That's awesome. 313 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,200 If you're one of those people, I can't say that. 314 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,200 I'm one of those people. I'm quite a lot more introverted 315 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,000 than you would think. I try really hard, but it's not 316 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:14,200 easy for me to do that. And if you are slay, my mom love 317 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:17,300 that for you. But make sure that you're also 318 00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:20,900 investing in your relationships in a way that is Meaningful to 319 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,900 you and, of course to them as well. 320 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,200 Another thing is that you never know what's out there. 321 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:34,400 I think While I got comfortable in my friendships, and I've done 322 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,100 this multiple times in my life, where all kind of really settle 323 00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:39,800 in get comfortable with my friendships and then I'll hang 324 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,200 out with someone new and I'll go, wow, that was really nice. 325 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,100 Like it was nice to talk to someone. 326 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,600 Maybe who's in the same thing as me like talking about the same 327 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,200 thing. Interested in the same thing or 328 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,300 it was just nice to have a fresh perspective or was nice to talk 329 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:56,500 to someone who isn't in my circle or, you know, is 330 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,600 disconnected from all of that. So I can just talk about 331 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,900 whatever. And there's no worry about all 332 00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:02,600 this person, or this person in the way. 333 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,700 Everyone's connected. It's nice to have someone 334 00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,599 outside of the bubble, or maybe it's nice to have someone who 335 00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:11,000 has different beliefs to me, or different values to me, because 336 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,599 I'm able to learn and get insight from that person. 337 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:17,599 And so I would guess encourage you to think about what else is 338 00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:21,000 out there and to put yourself out there, even though it's 339 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,400 scary when you're able to have those conversations. 340 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:28,500 It is so fulfilling it is so exciting and like invigorating. 341 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:32,300 And if you're like me, Where it can be hard for you to like just 342 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:34,200 go hang out with someone for the first time that you feel like 343 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,400 you don't know very well or like you know that first time you 344 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,700 hang out with someone outside of work and like for a long time, 345 00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:41,300 their work friend and then they become something more than like 346 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:43,900 a work friend and it's like, whoa, like we're like real 347 00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:47,200 friends now if that is scary for you as well, I want you to know 348 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,300 that that's completely normal and it's okay if for you to be 349 00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:54,600 nervous but after that hang out similar to like it's like a 350 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,600 first date, you can literally leave and be like oh wow like I 351 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,200 did it, you know. It's very motivating. 352 00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:04,300 It reminds you that you can do hard things and you can put 353 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:07,900 yourself out there and even if it is scary, it's worth it. 354 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,600 And look, sometimes that happens sometimes where you go and you 355 00:18:10,608 --> 00:18:13,400 hang out with someone and it's not the best fit, it's like 356 00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:16,300 maybe you have a nice time there's nothing wrong with, you 357 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:20,500 know, this person but you don't connect perfectly and that's 358 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,900 good because it teaches you, you know, it teaches you. 359 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:26,800 Oh maybe like I should like talk to somebody kind of different or 360 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:30,800 maybe I should just like try again or Maybe that person is 361 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,100 going to be someone who's going to be a closer friend for me 362 00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,900 later, like, down the road or, you know, we're going to have 363 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:38,400 something that comes up where this becomes a friend where I 364 00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,800 didn't realized that. My work friend was also really 365 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,900 into boxing and I've been wanting to do boxing. 366 00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:45,900 Okay, let's go boxing together. You know, you can create these 367 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:49,400 friendships in ways that have specific meaning or you can 368 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,300 genuinely just find like really really close friends by doing 369 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:53,700 that. So, I definitely encourage you 370 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,700 to do that. I think for a while. 371 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,100 I thought that I didn't like meeting new people and I've 372 00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:04,000 said, This a lot in the past I've been like, I don't want to 373 00:19:04,008 --> 00:19:06,600 meet any new people. I don't need to like I don't 374 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,500 like it. Like I'd so awkward. 375 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,100 Like I hate it. Stresses me out. 376 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:13,400 Like, I'm that person where I'm like, hi, my name is Alyssa and 377 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,500 I'm like thinking so hard about how I'm saying it myself. 378 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,100 That I don't even hear their name. 379 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:21,400 It like it goes over my head and it's not because I'm like 380 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,900 egotistical or I don't want to know their name. 381 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,300 I desperately want to know their name and remember their name. 382 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,700 It's just like an anxiety thing. And it's just like social 383 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,600 anxiety. And so, for me, it's something 384 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,700 where I need to like, step out of my comfort zone and try to be 385 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,300 as present as I can. And like, that's something I'm 386 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:43,600 still actively working on, but getting around new people 387 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,900 getting through those initial little conversations and then 388 00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:52,500 realizing that getting to know someone is the fun part about 389 00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:54,600 meeting new people. It's exciting. 390 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,100 You know, I thought that I didn't like meeting people 391 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,700 because that initial thing stressed me out and that's fine. 392 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,200 But now I'm at a place where I'm like, oh no, I actually love 393 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,900 meeting new people because I like getting to know new people 394 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,000 like meeting someone and they say, oh yeah, like I do this for 395 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,100 working. Be like, that's so cool. 396 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,500 I do something similar or that's so cool. 397 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,200 I know nothing about that. Can you tell me about that? 398 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:22,500 And you can really, really learn from people really, really learn 399 00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:26,800 from community and Community is so important because like I said 400 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:32,200 earlier, it is fulfilling And it is so validating. 401 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,600 And this is what I was feeling in this last kind of two week, 402 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:40,700 period, where I got around people that made me feel like 403 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,700 I'm allowed to be myself here. Like, I'm allowed to dress how I 404 00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:47,800 want. I don't have to show up to like 405 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,300 a bougie ass event. Not that I got a bougie ass 406 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:52,200 events, but like a nice dinner or whatever. 407 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,600 And I don't have to wear a dress because just because I'm a 408 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,500 woman, doesn't mean I have to dress in a dress. 409 00:20:56,500 --> 00:21:00,300 I can wear like nice dress pants and like loafer Purrs and like a 410 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:03,500 cute little top. And like, I'm technically just 411 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:07,700 as dressed as the guy next to me and I'm allowed to do that. 412 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,200 And I think, for a long time, being a queer person having 413 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,100 like, only straight friends, I always felt out of place, like, 414 00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:18,000 I felt like, I don't feel like I'm allowed to express myself. 415 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,700 I feel like we all kind of where the same things. 416 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:22,700 I feel like we all kind of say and do the same things, but I 417 00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:26,100 needed people that were actually like, like me. 418 00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:28,900 And that's not because there's anything wrong with people who 419 00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:31,200 are For me, it's just having that balance. 420 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:35,400 And you know what? It reminded me about how I used 421 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:39,400 to feel at the church because when I was invested in a church, 422 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:42,900 I had a community of people that aligned with the same values 423 00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:46,800 that I aligned with. That had similar mindset, 424 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,700 similar goals, some other things that they cared about and that 425 00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:52,800 made me feel like I was doing something right. 426 00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:55,700 And I think that's what was so powerful about it. 427 00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:59,300 And obviously I'm not a part of that Community anymore. 428 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:02,900 For many, many, many reasons. And just, it's not my life 429 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:06,500 anymore and I respect people who are in it and loving it and 430 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:09,400 doing good things within that community and, you know, being 431 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,600 the allies, and everyone in that Community for the lgbtq+ 432 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:19,200 community as well, but it's just not my world anymore, but I do 433 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,600 miss that feeling of community, which is something I don't think 434 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,400 I realized I was looking for until I started to feel it again 435 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,900 and I've been, you know, months of having from oh, So it, but 436 00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:32,700 this week is just really like, solidified. 437 00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:36,100 It invalidated it and especially after last week's episode where 438 00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:40,100 I was talking about bisexuality. And how I really realized I was 439 00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:43,000 bisexual how I realized I actually liked women, you know, 440 00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:47,900 it was cool to like be like, okay, I'm gonna personally 441 00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:51,400 validate Myself by looking at how I felt with these 442 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,800 experiences and I'm going to go find Community who also do that 443 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:59,900 for me and help me to feel safe and like comforted And what is 444 00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:02,300 so cool about that? Is that you get to then do that 445 00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:04,700 for other people? This is like the biggest part. 446 00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:07,400 Like yes, you want people to be like yes, you're amazing and 447 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,800 like cheer you on and whatever, but when it's all about you, 448 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,800 that's also not going to make you feel good. 449 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,200 You know. Like sometimes I think imagine 450 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,000 if you would like some really famous person measure your like 451 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,300 Harry Styles. How everyone would just be like, 452 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,400 like I love you and I'm gonna impress you because you're Harry 453 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,100 Styles. I reckon your relationships 454 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:24,600 would be like, really stressful, because like, unless everyone's 455 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:28,600 kind of out like the same level, you would probably feel a bit, 456 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:32,200 which I mean, like How because it's Harry Styles, you know, I 457 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,900 feel like it would be a bit like just people like to peel 458 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:35,800 actually want to hang out with me. 459 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,200 Like, do people actually want to like be friends with me like or 460 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,100 is it just because I'm literally her spouse to know? 461 00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:43,200 I mean where is thank God. We're not in that position 462 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,700 because that would actually be so stressful. 463 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,500 It's important that you have people that you can pour into, 464 00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:53,200 you know, having friends that you can support is amazing. 465 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,400 I got a little out of friend came over yesterday in tears and 466 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,300 was just like, I just need to find and it was nice. 467 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,200 Like not nice for her, not nice for me. 468 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,400 Obviously either like we were talking through it and working 469 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,600 through what she was going through and that's difficult but 470 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,600 at the end of the day it's like, wow, okay I have people who will 471 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:17,400 be there for me and I am able to be there for people and it's 472 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:22,300 important like connection and giving back in receiving and 473 00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:26,800 giving is so so important and something that we all need. 474 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,400 And if you don't feel like you have that, then you Aren't alone 475 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,200 actually saw some about this about the other day about this, 476 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,100 like study where people were asked about their friends and 477 00:24:38,100 --> 00:24:41,900 the most common response right now, with how many friends do 478 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:44,700 you have? Is one, two, three friends, 479 00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:48,300 which is insane and the percentage of people that say 480 00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:50,400 that they have zero friends is the highest. 481 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,900 It's been in like hundreds of years, which is insane. 482 00:24:53,900 --> 00:24:57,500 And, I mean, how they actually are able to like know that, I 483 00:24:57,500 --> 00:25:00,700 don't know, but even the fact that There's a large large group 484 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:03,300 of people right now, who are like, I actually don't have any 485 00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:05,800 friends. It's sad. 486 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,700 It sucks. Like it's like fuck, like I hate 487 00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:11,100 that that's the reality but that's kind of what happens when 488 00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:15,700 we are in a society that like, really prioritize has 489 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:22,500 surface-level relationships and social media and it's very 490 00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:25,400 normal and I don't want to be on those people who's like like gen 491 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,000 Z like these days. You know, I don't want to be 492 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,400 like this old ass. Like But I do think that I've 493 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,500 come full circle where for a long time. 494 00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:38,300 I was like, yeah, I'm so connected, like online like any 495 00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:40,600 look online friends and like, that's super fun and I love it. 496 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,400 And if I talk to any of you on a regular basis, just you know, I 497 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,100 love you, okay? Not seeing any that is bad but 498 00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:48,500 it's important that you have close close connection. 499 00:25:48,700 --> 00:25:52,600 Now, if you are someone who struggles with going out, this 500 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:57,800 like social anxiety, I'm your girl and just wanted to give you 501 00:25:57,808 --> 00:26:01,700 some quick tips on things that I have helped me to feel like I'm 502 00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:05,400 prepared to go out more often and to become someone who's able 503 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,900 to go with the flow because I am not someone who is able usually, 504 00:26:09,900 --> 00:26:12,400 okay. Usually or I guess in the past 505 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,500 to just go with things and to be like, yeah, let's go to the 506 00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:16,800 beach. And then yeah, let's go for 507 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,600 dinner and then let's do normally. 508 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,800 I'm like, when are we going? How are we getting there? 509 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,900 What do I wear? Okay, what do I bring? 510 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000 Am I going to be needing energy tomorrow? 511 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,300 Because how late are we going to be out? 512 00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:32,300 I'm one of those people and I've always been that person who's 513 00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:36,100 very organized. Very like I just get anxiety. 514 00:26:36,100 --> 00:26:38,700 Okay. And so I've been trying to 515 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:42,100 become more chill and things that have helped me is things 516 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:46,200 that make me feel like I can be prepared for multiple situations 517 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,600 so first of all something that's helped me making sure that I 518 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,400 like pack a purse. I bring a purse. 519 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,500 Bring some sort of bag something that has like my essentials like 520 00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:56,900 this is we're talking to you odorant. 521 00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:59,200 We're talking chapstick something that is going to. 522 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,600 Not be able to, you know, can be able to get past if it's 523 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,800 bothering you chapstick is a big one for me. 524 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,800 I don't know if it's just like a fixation thing, but chap stick 525 00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:11,200 deodorant, like make sure you have obviously, your keys, your 526 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,200 phone your wallet. Okay. 527 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:17,200 That's very, very important even potentially like cash in case 528 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,100 your phone dies and you pay with your phone or a card. 529 00:27:20,100 --> 00:27:23,100 Obviously I just don't know why I'm like that. 530 00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:25,500 I just am a psycho. And I'm like, what if the world 531 00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:27,100 crashes right now and I need cash? 532 00:27:27,100 --> 00:27:28,300 I don't know. It's just me. 533 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,500 All right deal. Other than that, maybe like a 534 00:27:31,508 --> 00:27:32,600 little jumper. Okay? 535 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,500 Little jacket something to keep you warm if you need it and like 536 00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:38,600 little wipes, like all the little things gum. 537 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,300 Oh my God, gum is a really important one. 538 00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:42,800 Now I can we have almost forgot that so a little bag, something 539 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:43,600 to help you. Okay. 540 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,600 Another one is something called Loops there like, just earplugs, 541 00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:49,900 I've got them. I maybe got some, like, six 542 00:27:49,900 --> 00:27:51,900 months ago. I'm obsessed with them. 543 00:27:51,900 --> 00:27:54,400 They're so, so so good. This obviously isn't sponsored 544 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,600 or anything just you know, I don't really have any sponsors 545 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,600 on the podcast clean ever. As of right now. 546 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,100 But they're like these little earplugs and they have cute 547 00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:06,800 little circle around them, and they just take the sound down a 548 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,200 notch, doesn't make it. So you can't hear people. 549 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,300 And that's what I love about. It is the actual Loop allows, 550 00:28:12,300 --> 00:28:15,200 like, sound to go through it and so, instead of just blocking 551 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,200 close your ear, it's actually like a piece with, like, a mesh 552 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,000 and like, if you can't see me, then I'm doing hand signals to 553 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,600 explain this, but it's like a circle with mesh, and there's 554 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,900 like little holes in it, and then there's the loop. 555 00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:28,100 So, it does block out some sound, but it still allows you 556 00:28:28,100 --> 00:28:31,800 to hear people talking to you. And I really appreciate that 557 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:37,700 because loud sounds and sometimes like loud situations 558 00:28:37,700 --> 00:28:40,600 can be like very overstimulating for me and can stress me the 559 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,100 fuck out. And so I would recommend Some 560 00:28:43,100 --> 00:28:47,000 Loops. I would also recommend dressing 561 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,700 to feel good point. Number three is dressing to feel 562 00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:54,400 good. I used to think that if I wore 563 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,500 something that I looked good in that, I would feel good because 564 00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:00,600 I'm like, oh, I look good. But 10 minutes after you leave 565 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,300 the house, you don't know what you look like anymore. 566 00:29:02,300 --> 00:29:04,700 And if you're always focused on how you look when you're out, 567 00:29:04,700 --> 00:29:06,000 you are not going to have a good time. 568 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,400 You're just not gonna have a good time. 569 00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:11,100 If you struggle with, like, body image issues and you are one of 570 00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:13,000 those people where you like, constantly like, sitting up 571 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,100 really tall, and sucking it in and whatever I used to be like 572 00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:18,700 that. It is draining if you're coming 573 00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:20,800 home going on. Oh, I'm so emotionally 574 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,100 exhausted. Oh, I'm so fatigued after being 575 00:29:23,100 --> 00:29:25,600 the people for a few hours. It's probably because you've 576 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,400 been acting in a way that you haven't been able to be yourself 577 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,100 and yes, that's To be more common when it's, maybe a new 578 00:29:31,100 --> 00:29:35,100 friendship or you're on a date or a job thing, you know, a new 579 00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:37,500 job think, something's something where you don't feel like you 580 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:39,700 can be full of yourself. I get that those situations are 581 00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:43,600 going to come up always in life. But if you are constantly like 582 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:48,000 that, just take a second, take note, because I've had to 583 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,700 realize all this about myself over time, something that I've 584 00:29:51,700 --> 00:29:54,700 talked about actually as well, on the podcast is something 585 00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:57,500 called the spotlight effect which is a really common 586 00:29:57,500 --> 00:30:01,000 phenomenon that people Work will get where they feel like they 587 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,500 walk in a room and everybody is looking at them. 588 00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:05,900 And again, it's not this like egotistical thing. 589 00:30:05,900 --> 00:30:08,200 Like, yes everyone. Look at me, if anything, it's 590 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:12,600 like, please don't look at me, but it can feel like, oh, like I 591 00:30:12,608 --> 00:30:15,500 just want to make sure I'm like, I'm being presented in a good 592 00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:17,500 way. Like, I'm showing up as a good 593 00:30:17,500 --> 00:30:20,900 version of myself and I'm fun and I'm this and I'm that and 594 00:30:20,900 --> 00:30:23,000 actually to friend this past week and we went to an event 595 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,600 together and we had so much fun together and they were just like 596 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,000 the life of the party dancing like so, so, so, so so Fine. 597 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,100 And at the end of the night, they looked at me and we're 598 00:30:33,100 --> 00:30:35,400 like, I'm so sorry if I was like pouring today. 599 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,800 I'm sorry. If I was like low-energy. 600 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,800 Like I just I felt like I was being weird and just 601 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,300 automatically was like questioning the way that they 602 00:30:42,300 --> 00:30:45,100 were being. And I was like, oh my God if you 603 00:30:45,100 --> 00:30:49,300 think that you're boring, then kill me actually kill me because 604 00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:51,600 we had so so much fun. And you are the life of the 605 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,700 party and you deserve the world like shut up. 606 00:30:53,700 --> 00:30:56,100 Like I love you and it was just this thing where I was like, 607 00:30:56,100 --> 00:30:59,100 wow, okay, I'm so sad. That is a lie. 608 00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:02,100 Like my friend does this but at the same time I was like, at 609 00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:04,800 least I'm not alone and doing that going home at the end of 610 00:31:04,808 --> 00:31:08,000 the day and being like, why did I say that or like, oh, so 611 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,800 embarrassing, like why did I make it sound like that? 612 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,000 Why was I rude? Like, why did I come off as so 613 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,800 rude? I didn't mean to and go through 614 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:19,200 that kind of like after the hangout run through in your head 615 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,000 where you just kind of like belittle yourself for like 20 616 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,800 minutes and feel like shit. And then you're like, okay, 617 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,700 we're gonna try again tomorrow. Like it's horrible and I think a 618 00:31:28,700 --> 00:31:31,800 lot of us I like this. A lot of us have especially 619 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:36,400 after covid and all of that have this, like, social anxiety and 620 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,500 this feeling of like, second-guessing ourselves in 621 00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:43,500 questioning ourselves often and if that's you, I just want to 622 00:31:43,508 --> 00:31:45,500 encourage you that that's not weird. 623 00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:48,600 You know, that's not some like big horrible thing. 624 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,200 It's actually really, really common and I think it's 625 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,200 something that we're all working through and something that we 626 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:58,000 all should be like actively aware of because it's not 627 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,300 something you need to feel. Feel if you start to affirm 628 00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:05,300 yourself more and more by saying, I don't need to show up 629 00:32:05,500 --> 00:32:08,200 as this perfect version of myself. 630 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,900 I don't have to show up with a full face of makeup. 631 00:32:10,900 --> 00:32:12,000 Okay? For when those people were like, 632 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,500 I can't leave the house without makeup. 633 00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:15,900 Start to challenge. That start to push yourself, go 634 00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:18,900 to the supermarket without any makeup on and then go to a hang 635 00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:21,700 out with a few friends without any makeup on and then go out on 636 00:32:21,700 --> 00:32:25,000 a night and literally go and fucking party and do it with no 637 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:29,100 makeup on push yourself. Because if you are feeling like 638 00:32:29,300 --> 00:32:31,900 Like I need to show up with all this energy. 639 00:32:32,100 --> 00:32:35,300 Be a super fun crazy version of myself with a full face of 640 00:32:35,300 --> 00:32:39,800 makeup and like, be this like perfect person, then no fucking 641 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,100 wonder. You don't want to leave the 642 00:32:41,108 --> 00:32:42,800 house, you know. No wonder. 643 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,700 You want to stay in bed and scroll on Tick-Tock. 644 00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:46,700 No wonder. You don't want to put yourself 645 00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:49,300 out there and do something new for the first time because even 646 00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:51,500 just going out right now is fucking terrifying. 647 00:32:51,500 --> 00:32:57,500 So if that's you, I got it. And it's not just you, okay? 648 00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:01,100 I did want to talk a little bit about the queer Community 649 00:33:01,100 --> 00:33:04,800 specifically and if you are a queer person maybe that looks 650 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,900 like being bisexual. Maybe that looks like being a 651 00:33:06,900 --> 00:33:08,500 lesbian. Maybe that looks like being 652 00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:10,700 queer. Maybe that looks like trying to 653 00:33:10,700 --> 00:33:13,600 figure it out right now you know I say like for a long time I was 654 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,900 the cue for questioning like that was like the lgbtq for 655 00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:19,500 questioning because I didn't know what the fuck was going on. 656 00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:24,200 I just knew I wasn't straight and I think that if you are a 657 00:33:24,208 --> 00:33:27,400 queer person or you're trying to figure out if you are you need 658 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,200 to get Around more queer people. This is so. 659 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,300 So so important and it's so funny because I went to a I 660 00:33:33,308 --> 00:33:36,000 think it's a sexologist or knows a counselor just like a 661 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,500 counselor. Actually in Sydney about like a 662 00:33:39,508 --> 00:33:42,100 year and a half ago. Maybe two years ago when I was 663 00:33:42,100 --> 00:33:44,300 kind of working through some of the church stuff and like 664 00:33:44,300 --> 00:33:46,900 healing from all of that and she looked at me and she was like, 665 00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:50,400 you need more queer friends and I was like, I kind of thought 666 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,600 you was like, joking. I was like yeah, like I would 667 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,500 love more queer. Friends hunt wasn't but she 668 00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:57,900 wasn't lying. Like I literally needed. 669 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,100 We're friends because she knew what it was going to do for me. 670 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,900 She knew what it was going to validate. 671 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,200 She knew that it was going to help me to very quickly be like, 672 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,900 oh I can learn everyone, I can do whatever I want. 673 00:34:08,900 --> 00:34:11,900 I can love whoever I want, like she knew how good that was going 674 00:34:11,900 --> 00:34:14,199 to be for me. And that's how important friends 675 00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:16,600 are to the point that a counselor is going to tell you 676 00:34:16,699 --> 00:34:20,500 that you need a certain group of friends and it is important in 677 00:34:20,500 --> 00:34:23,100 the people that are around. You do Affleck, do reflect you 678 00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:26,900 and do really either encourage you or discourage you to do 679 00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:28,500 things. And that's That is really 680 00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:32,400 important to be aware of and this extends, to not just people 681 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,600 in the queer Community. Obviously, if you do follow like 682 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,800 a certain religion or you have a certain like Heritage like a 683 00:34:38,808 --> 00:34:41,600 certain background, it's important that you're around, 684 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,900 people who are going to validate those things for you. 685 00:34:44,199 --> 00:34:49,000 Obviously I am white. So I cannot speak to this fully 686 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,300 like I wouldn't say, I have some like crazy culture. 687 00:34:51,300 --> 00:34:55,100 Okay, I really don't, I mean, I'm Ukrainian kind of on my 688 00:34:55,100 --> 00:34:58,800 dad's side so I guess that's like a thing for Me, but I'm not 689 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,600 out here. Being like, Oh, yeah, just like 690 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,100 really connect with it. Like, I just don't know. 691 00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:06,500 It's a weird few Generations out, so it's a bit more like, 692 00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:09,700 yeah, we have like borscht on like Easter and like we eat, 693 00:35:09,700 --> 00:35:12,800 like pierogies, and like we painted the little eggs when I 694 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,200 was little, you know, we had some Ukrainian traditions in 695 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,800 there, but overall I didn't like have these. 696 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:24,300 This very, very intense, not intense but like really like Big 697 00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:27,900 or full culture growing up, I don't even know if I should say 698 00:35:27,900 --> 00:35:29,500 that but it's true. Okay, we're right. 699 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,300 Okay, it's fine. I don't think I'm offending the 700 00:35:31,300 --> 00:35:33,600 white people and even if you are offended as a white person and 701 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,600 I'm sorry. But come on, let's work on that. 702 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:36,800 All right? Yeah, that's another one for 703 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,600 you. But if you have this history, 704 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,600 this culture of this family where you have all these 705 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,100 traditions and all these beautiful things going on, be 706 00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:47,100 aware of your friends and be aware of if they have that as 707 00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:51,300 well, because it's very easy for you to lose that as you grow up 708 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,400 and to like, forget What about that? 709 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,500 And I think people often come back to it, but I would just 710 00:35:57,500 --> 00:36:00,500 encourage you to think who are the kind of people that I would 711 00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:05,300 want in my life and go after it. And so again, leaving today's 712 00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:08,500 episode, I would say that the best thing for you to do is to 713 00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,300 sit down. Think about the friends that you 714 00:36:10,300 --> 00:36:14,800 have really focus in on, like five of them really, put your 715 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,200 time into them really invest into them. 716 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,500 And also, another thing you can do is sit down. 717 00:36:20,500 --> 00:36:22,800 And think, what is my ideal friend? 718 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,400 This The thing that I did about a year ago and it genuinely 719 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,800 changed how I looked on my friendships because I know that 720 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,500 you cannot create a perfect person, you know, I know that 721 00:36:32,500 --> 00:36:34,900 you cannot create a perfect partner or whatever. 722 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:39,500 But this is something that I saw done for partners, like, or 723 00:36:39,500 --> 00:36:41,700 looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, whatever, and people 724 00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:43,600 sit there and they would write, okay, these are things that I 725 00:36:43,607 --> 00:36:46,200 want, you know, I want someone who's going to make me laugh. 726 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,200 I want someone who is going to I'm gonna have a sexual 727 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,400 connection with and be really, you know, attracted to you. 728 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,700 That's obviously important. I want some One who is going to 729 00:36:54,700 --> 00:36:57,800 support me in my dreams. Maybe you want someone who wants 730 00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,900 to travel you know the specific things to you that you want in a 731 00:37:00,908 --> 00:37:03,000 partner. Think about that with your 732 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,800 friends. Like we need to start 733 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:08,200 approaching our friendships. Like we do love romantic 734 00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,200 relationships, you know, we really do because we spend so 735 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,900 much time thinking about that guy that we talked about on 736 00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:17,600 Tinder or whatever or the you know that girl that we had that 737 00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,300 little fling with and it's like like are we into each other? 738 00:37:20,300 --> 00:37:23,400 We spend so much time doing that but often we put our friends on 739 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,200 the Back burner, and especially, if you're one of those people 740 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,400 where you get into a relationship like a romantic 741 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,900 relationship and you kind of like detail your friends for a 742 00:37:30,908 --> 00:37:31,900 little bit. Okay. 743 00:37:31,900 --> 00:37:33,900 If that's you, it's okay. I got it, I got it. 744 00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:36,300 But if you're one of those people, I would encourage you to 745 00:37:36,300 --> 00:37:40,200 not do that because your friends are going to be there. 746 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,900 If something goes wrong with that relationship and you might 747 00:37:42,900 --> 00:37:47,300 need those friends and it's also going to be great for you to 748 00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:51,000 have people to pour into in to really be invested in a 749 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,300 community, okay, have I driven that home? 750 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,300 Enough. Do you understand? 751 00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:58,300 We need people. We need to be in community, I 752 00:37:58,300 --> 00:38:02,200 think, even historically. We used to live more so in 753 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:06,400 community, you know, we didn't live in the separated Family 754 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,900 household units in the way that we do now and obviously it's 755 00:38:09,900 --> 00:38:12,200 changed so much throughout all of history. 756 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:16,000 It's, you know, insane but recently I would say in 757 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:19,500 comparison to a lot of history with the way that we've 758 00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:22,900 Advanced, you know, as a as a society, I don't know. 759 00:38:24,700 --> 00:38:26,000 As the human race. I don't know. 760 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,800 The way that we've progressed, we've kind of isolated in a way 761 00:38:30,100 --> 00:38:34,100 and I think there's a big part of us that just historically 762 00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:38,600 maybe intuitively is like dying for Community dying for 763 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:43,300 connection and that's why we look for it in these cheap kind 764 00:38:43,300 --> 00:38:47,000 of weird ways that we never used to like these kind of like quick 765 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,800 hookups or these friends on social media or, you know, 766 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,300 making sure that you make it look like you have friends. 767 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,600 The way that people are with friends and Community now is 768 00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:01,100 actually really sad, I think. And I hope this isn't like a hot 769 00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:03,800 take and like, a bad take, like, I really just feel like it's 770 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:07,900 important, and it's really easy to not take stock of it. 771 00:39:07,900 --> 00:39:09,800 And that's what I would encourage you to do. 772 00:39:09,900 --> 00:39:13,900 So that's basically it guys, thank you so much for listening. 773 00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:16,700 I hope you enjoyed today's episode just having a little 774 00:39:16,700 --> 00:39:20,600 chitty chat chat chat about why it's important to be around 775 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,100 people to have community and to care about your friends to pour 776 00:39:23,100 --> 00:39:26,200 into Friends and to be a good friend and why it's so 777 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,200 fulfilling and if you don't have that, I hope this didn't make 778 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:30,300 you go. I'll fuck. 779 00:39:30,900 --> 00:39:32,300 Wow. Well I don't have any friends 780 00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:36,100 because I have felt that before I have literally felt that so 781 00:39:36,100 --> 00:39:38,600 many times in gone through different seasons where I didn't 782 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,800 have friends and gone through Seasons where I had heaps of 783 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,300 friends and then suddenly didn't have friends and it is something 784 00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:45,100 that will change that your whole life. 785 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,800 So don't be discouraged if you have people in your life that 786 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,900 you're like, this just isn't like doing it for me. 787 00:39:49,900 --> 00:39:51,700 Like I just feel like I need different people. 788 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,300 You don't need to ditch them all. 789 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,600 You know, you can definitely have people in your life that 790 00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,100 you're around maybe once a month. 791 00:39:57,100 --> 00:40:00,800 Maybe once a year maybe a little face time here and there, you 792 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,900 can have different levels of friendship, but be aware that 793 00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:06,500 you don't have all of those levels of friendship being 794 00:40:06,500 --> 00:40:08,900 pushed out from you. And then the only person that's 795 00:40:08,900 --> 00:40:12,700 close is like your partner or the only person that's close is. 796 00:40:12,700 --> 00:40:16,900 Like maybe that one roommate, like be aware or nobody be aware 797 00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:20,100 of the depth of your relationships, and the depth of 798 00:40:20,107 --> 00:40:23,100 your connections, because I really believe that, that is 799 00:40:23,100 --> 00:40:26,000 where Find beauty in life. Like I really believe that 800 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:30,800 through connection is where we feel are most like human and 801 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:35,100 real and we really experience things and experiences like 802 00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:39,900 going to an event or a workout class or going up on a hill or 803 00:40:39,908 --> 00:40:42,800 going on a run or doing whatever those things are beautiful to do 804 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,800 on your own here and there for sure. 805 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:47,300 And maybe you're more introverted and you prefer that 806 00:40:47,300 --> 00:40:50,700 and that's awesome. But experiencing things with 807 00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:53,400 other people is so important and something. 808 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,100 Thing that I think we just don't prioritize enough. 809 00:40:55,100 --> 00:40:57,700 So that's it guys, thank you so much. 810 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,100 If you don't already follow the podcast on Spotify or a podcast 811 00:41:01,100 --> 00:41:04,300 or whatever you listen, then please give it a follow helps. 812 00:41:04,300 --> 00:41:07,900 Me helps Pharmacy for people to see the episodes, so that be 813 00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:09,400 amazing. And if you want to connect with 814 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,600 me, my Instagram and Tick, Tock is Alyssa Taylor Harper, and 815 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,700 I'll connect it below for you, so you can just click right 816 00:41:14,700 --> 00:41:16,900 through. And lastly, we also have a 817 00:41:16,900 --> 00:41:19,900 Facebook group called The she said, what broadcast group, I 818 00:41:19,900 --> 00:41:21,700 want to say every week. I'm like, I don't know. 819 00:41:21,700 --> 00:41:23,400 That is call that. No, just look it up. 820 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,200 You'll find us and it's just a nice little Community. 821 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:30,200 Again, a way to connect with Community, something that to me 822 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:34,400 is such a goal for this podcast. And trust me, there are things 823 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:38,600 in the works to really make this a community and not just about 824 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,000 like you coming in and like listening to a podcast and like 825 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:42,900 running away. I want you guys to really have a 826 00:41:42,908 --> 00:41:47,000 space to chat because I have so many amazing DM conversations 827 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,800 with you guys about all these things that you're going through 828 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:51,200 things that you're working through. 829 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:54,500 But there's also a whole community, Of you guys that you 830 00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:56,800 we could all be really helping each other and I even want to 831 00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:00,100 start to kind of lean more into like the advice part of it, 832 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:02,800 because I get a lot of questions all the time that I'm like, oh I 833 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,900 feel like this is something that someone else might also be 834 00:42:04,900 --> 00:42:07,600 struggling with and you guys are the inspiration for these 835 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,400 episodes. Like I will have one of you 836 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,900 message me and say to me I'm really struggling with this 837 00:42:12,900 --> 00:42:14,700 thing. I feel like I like I just don't 838 00:42:14,700 --> 00:42:17,600 have any like you know, not that this actually happened this 839 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,700 time, but friends are, I don't have this, I don't have this in 840 00:42:19,700 --> 00:42:21,100 my life. I'm really struggling with like 841 00:42:21,100 --> 00:42:23,200 body image or that or that of that and then I'll go. 842 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:24,500 Okay. Actually I'm going to make an 843 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,500 episode about this because I feel like more people will 844 00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:29,500 relate with this and so if you would like that some sort of 845 00:42:29,500 --> 00:42:32,800 like advice situation being able to send in like Anonymous advice 846 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,300 on like a regular basis maybe through like a website or 847 00:42:35,308 --> 00:42:37,600 something like that. Let me know if you like that 848 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,500 idea because I kind of think that would be a fun way to go 849 00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:42,800 about this. I'm just all about you guys 850 00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,700 having the space to work through the things you want to work 851 00:42:44,700 --> 00:42:48,700 through. And I just really care about 852 00:42:48,700 --> 00:42:51,200 helping you become the version of yourself that you want to 853 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,200 because I'm on that Journey like I'm doing that. 854 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,400 I'm I'm not there. Okay. 855 00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,700 I am not all. Let me just tell you about how 856 00:42:58,700 --> 00:43:00,000 to be the best. No. 857 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:03,300 Okay, I'm working on it and I think as we work through things, 858 00:43:03,300 --> 00:43:05,300 we learned things and we should share that with others. 859 00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:08,200 And so love you guys. I'm feeling very sentimental 860 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:09,700 this week. Oh, okay. 861 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,800 Thank you so much and come find me. 862 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,600 Let's have a chat chat, love you and I'll see you next week. 863 00:43:15,900 --> 00:43:16,400 Bye guys.