You're listening to. She said what with your host
Alyssa Harper? Hello, sexy people, welcome back
to. She said what it is so good to
be back. I've been away for two weeks on
my little holidays, but I'm back now better than ever with a
brand new episode. This is five things that I'm
doing in 2023 to be the best version of myself.
And these are things that genuinely worked for me in 2022.
Things that I think I would be stupid not to keep doing because
they have really, really helped me to actually reach the goals.
That I have wanted to reach and to keep the mindset that I want
to keep and move forward in a way that I am becoming this
version of myself that I want to be.
And so I'm really excited for today's episode because I feel
like it's a really great resource for you guys.
It's so applicable to your life like you can apply this right
away and there's so many little bits and little things that you
can apply over time. So it's going to be useful and I
love that for us. So let's get right into it.
Now, of course, I need to give you an update on my life because
it feels like it's been so so long since I've recorded an
episode, like I don't know if it's just because it became part
of like my routine and I was like doing so many episodes and
whatever, but I just feel so weird coming back, I'm like, oh
my God. I feel like I've taken the
longest break in the world and so, I'm so, so happy to be doing
this again. Let's go through some
highlights. So, first of all, today I
reached 300,000 followers on Tick Tock, so that's a big
sleigh. Very happy about that one, it's
just really nice. It's really nice to like, feel
that support and to feel that consistent growth and to be
like, reaching different people and having really great
conversations with people. And like, this is my favorite
part by far of like my job. And like, what I do with being a
content creator is like the podcast in, like, actually
talking about things that matter in a part of that.
I think because I do the podcast and because I actually really
connect with people on a level where we're talking about things
that like matter, you know what I mean?
It's not like like not to hate on like fashion influencers or
whatever, but I feel like the connection that they would have
With Their audience isn't the same as to the one that I have
with you guys. Like I really feel like I can DM
you guys, and you guys are damning me and like telling me
the most crazy like detailed should about your lives.
And I'm just like it, blows me away.
How comfortable you guys will be with me and I'm just so thankful
for it, like, it is so, so cool. Like I literally feel like I
haven't bajillion friends and you guys are just like my best
friends. So I love that.
And I also love when you guys say like, oh, when I listen to
your podcast it just feels like Like we're like on FaceTime
because that's what I want. Like I just want it to be chill.
I want to be fun. I want it to be comfortable and
I feel like of course you know, I wanted to be a space where you
learn something and you get something out of it.
Like absolutely. But I also just personally I
listen to podcasts as well, and I just feel like it's so nice to
have a comforting space and like just to have someone that like
you can feel close with because you hear about their life and
keep updated with them. So you have just been feeling
really, really grateful, I think taking a break was really good
for me at the end of the year to just think about everything that
Kind of built in the last year and to really appreciate what's
been going on in my life and it's just been really great.
So, that was my sleigh, the my slaves of the last few weeks.
What else did Christmas Christmas was chill?
I would say, what made the break and everything kind of hard was,
I don't have my family, sorry, sounded like I was going to
start crying. I wasn't I swear, I don't have
my family in Australia and I visited my family in Canada
about six months ago and so I wasn't Gonna, you know, go back
again because obviously it's very expensive but I think I
miss them a lot. And I've been kind of missing
just my family like not necessarily missing home like I
just really want to see my family so and of course, some
friends that I have at home as well, but that's been a bit sad
for me, it's been a bit tough to get through that.
My mom might be visiting in February so hopefully she does
and then if not that I'm definitely going to see them
like my dad and my mom in either June or July and I think we're
meeting them in California. Salmon die.
Is my partner. So yeah.
So hopefully that happens. Other than that.
Oh, oh my God. I quit vaping.
Okay, so here's the tea guys. All right?
A few years ago and by a few years ago, I mean like six years
ago when I was 16, I started vaping and I finally quit vaping
about two years ago and it was like the hardest thing in the
world. But I was so proud of myself and
I even made a podcast episode about quitting vaping this is
probably like my second or third.
Third episode like this was ages ago and I would have people
message me and go oh my God like thank you so much.
I quit vaping because of you all this like amazing stuff and I
thought it was so sweet. But after about a year that I
had quit, I was like I went for a full year, you know, Sam again
my partner, he started vaping, he comes home, and he's vaping
because his friends were vaping and I was like, oh my God, so
then it kind of got me back on it, which sucked because then I
was addicted for like another year and so I have been Wanting
to quit for the last like, six months.
Like I remember when I went to Canada back in July, I was like,
I was like, I really want to. When I go home I'm gonna like,
you know, detox in Canada. And then I was like, oh, that's
a bad idea. I'm going to feel like shit.
Okay, I'll detox when I come home and like, I'll quit when I
come home and I came back and I just couldn't get myself to do
it. Like it's sucked.
Like I just it was the worst and I had been writing in, you know,
my little Journal like I swear almost every month like okay,
reduce vaping, they less like, you know, use nicotine.
Unless like I was like, just trying to do it less and less
and less and it just wasn't happening, bro.
And I was like, okay, I just need to quit cold turkey because
this is how I did it last time and so, I did it.
I'm seven days. No, nicotine.
Now, and I'm feeling really good about it and I've been doing it
as like a series on Tick, Tock, as well, to keep me accountable,
which I have to say like because this is the podcast and I'm
allowed to be honest with you guys on here.
It's been hard because now that I know that people are seeing it
on my social media. I'm like I can't quit you.
I mean, like, I can't like potentially quit.
I can't quit quitting and that makes sense.
I can't cheat, you know, because if I did, I would have to be
honest, like, I would never ever lie to, like my audience.
I've never done that and I just got.
No, I just couldn't. I'm just, I can't lie.
I've never been able to lie. I've like always been so scared,
even like to get in trouble or like going to the principal's
office. Oh my God!
I was always just such a little baby.
Like I cannot be in trouble. I can't lie.
I can't, I just can't. Okay.
My conscience is just too strong and And so I have to do it and
it's hard because now that video, the first video that I
posted about vaping has like almost two million views and I'm
like, well shit. Now, 2 million people saw me say
that I'm not going to vape again, so I kind of have to do
it. Well fuck.
But anyways, so honestly not a bad problem to have.
It's all going to be okay, but I'm proud of myself and getting
through it. And that's, that's the update a
little bit longer than normal, but a lot has happened.
All right, have missed. You guys have missed talking and
I'm excited for today. Episode because for me I think I
have a lot of little practices that I'm like I'm not to toot my
own horn but I've really helped myself figure out what things
really work for me. And I've learned how to be
realistic with setting goals and I've learned how to like have
Grace for myself when I'm not able to reach those goals.
And okay, how do I move forward when I don't reach those goals?
Or when I don't do the things that I want to be doing in my
life or are, you know, I come up short or whatever and it's taken
a long time for me to do that because I remember like back in
the day in high school Never I used to wake up every morning
and as it did my makeup I would like listen to a TED talk
because I was just weird. I don't know, but I would like
listen to motivational shit. Like I would always like, try to
be like on my grind to like get stuff done and I would be so
hard on myself, I would always feel like I was failing.
I've always felt like I was never good enough.
I never knew how to, like just be okay with myself.
Like, even when it came to my body, it was like, oh I'm never
going to be at like my ideal body.
It's like of course I'm always gonna be able to get better.
I'm always going to get stronger or have a lower body.
Percentage or whatever like I was so intense.
And so crazy with myself and I'm a very type a person like I can
be very just like get shit done, get it done, you know, feel that
motivation? Like boom, boom boom.
I can be very intense and what I've learned over the years is
like the more you're able to like slow down and just do
things intentionally and do things with your cup actually
being full. Like, you're just going to get
so much more out of life and out of every situation.
And so, I feel like I'm at a really good place right now.
Genuinely with being able to have Things in place that are
helping me to move forward. And so today I'm going to be
talking about monthly goal setting which is something I've
been doing now, for probably almost two years, I would say,
like, I've been doing it for quite a while and be talking
about visualization and we talking about practicing
gratitude having a routine which that was actually quite
interesting. And something I've learned a lot
recently about and yeah, I think that one's Really Gonna help you
guys. And then, lastly, recognizing
what your habits currently are, and then kicking the bad habits,
so yeah. Going to be going through today.
Okay. Wait, let's do it number one,
starting with monthly goal setting.
So like I said, I've been doing this for probably about two
years at the start of every single month.
I take out my little Journal. I always just have a plain
Journal. No dots, no lines, no nothing,
that drives me crazy. You lined journals ill.
No, no, there's no chance and I write down my journals.
I literally write just the month at the top and then I'll start
writing down, thanks and I write goals.
Or like everything, so it can be like, career-wise, or maybe for
you, that could be, like, school.
I know, I used to like have school-type goals as well for
things to my mental health as well.
So I'm not just doing things too.
I guess achieve things from like, what I think I should be
achieving, but it also is just for me and what I want for my
life. So, again, like my mental
health, in something for me, from a mental health, that makes
my mental health, a lot better is going outside more.
And so I've learned for example, if I was going to Down.
Go outside more. Well, that's not going to do
anything for me, you know because who had the end of the
month who's to say, I went outside more, how would I know?
And so one thing I'll say here is we have to be specific.
So all right go to the beach three times per week, for
example, right? So it's like giving an actual,
here's what I'm going to do, it's not just like oh I want to
do this thing more, it's like, no.
Okay. But what are you going to do?
You have to be specific. Another one that I wrote down
was a journal every day and so that really helps me as well
helps me to just get my thoughts out.
And I think sometimes when I don't journal and I'm going
through stuff in my life, I just will start to feel like I'm
going a bit crazy. Like it's like all living in my
brain and I haven't had a chance to like, get it out and
especially when it's things that I wouldn't want to say to
anyone. Or I would be embarrassed by or
shameful about, or whatever. These very honest thoughts.
You know, that I don't think are great to be having or whatever,
but it's just what I'm experiencing when I'm able to
journal it. It's just such a safe release
and it just allows me to be real with myself and to And that I'm
having certain thoughts and I feel like that released then
helps me to not have those thoughts.
Like it actually helps me to be like, okay, I can put this here
and I can walk away from it and I can recognize that that's
where I'm at and I'm going to do what I can to move forward from
here. So journaling is amazing.
I just recommend it to everybody.
It is so so good for you. Anyways, I'll write down things
about my physical health and I would say this is a big one
where you need to be realistic because people will make the
craziest fucking goals for themselves when it comes to
their physical health. Like feel like I want to work
out every single Cool day, I want to lose ten pounds this
week, like people just psychotic and it just doesn't work.
And then people are always so disappointed.
And the reason I say this is because I used to do this shit
to. Okay, so, it's not just not
saying everyone's dumb and I'm amazing but it's true.
People do this all the time and especially, because we see a lot
of, like, like goals and people doing this on social media.
You'll see a lot of like, lose 10 pounds in one week using this
protein powder. So it's, it kind of makes your I
mean think that that is possible.
And so you think, well they can do it so can I and it's like
well they probably actually didn't do it and that's probably
actually not what happened and that actually is wouldn't be
healthy under any circumstances to lose weight that quickly.
So like don't do that. And I mean, anyways with the
physical health, I would say you have to be realistic and so for
me, say, I want to start a go to sleep earlier or I want to start
like waking up earlier, which obviously means, I then need to
go to sleep earlier. If I'm going to get enough sleep
instead of writing down like go to sleep every single night by 9
p.m. A psycho not that psychotic if
you like that then I love that for you but I can't be doing
that. All right, just tell me.
Oh, all right down go to sleep at 11 p.m. five days a week,
right? So what that allows me is maybe
two days a week where I go out and I have a bit more of like a
night with friends or whatever, then it's like, okay, I can just
stay up. Late, are in, it's fine.
Or if like, salmon, I end up like just staying a blatant.
Like, watching a movie, you're having a nice time.
And not feeling like I have to force myself to go to bed early.
You know, it's more about what you do 80% of the I'm and what
you do somewhat consistently rather than getting yourself to
do something every single day. If it genuinely just doesn't fit
with what you're doing because the problem is, if you write
down all, I'm going to go to bed every single night at 11 p.m.
Even if you think that's somewhat achievable and then you
don't do it on like two nights a week, then you're going to feel
disappointed in yourself. So let's just start with a
realistic goal and maybe eventually you will go to sleep
every single night at 11 p.m. because you're like, I just get
tired at that time and I can't not go to sleep at that time.
Then that would be great and I do.
Dude, I did find that that's happened for me as well when I
was teaching Pilates, really early at like, 6:00 a.m. on
like, two days a week, was it? Yes.
Two days a week that I was teaching that early, I was like,
well, I can't be getting up at 5 a.m. to days a week and then
like 9:00 p.m. 9:00 a.m. on all the other days, like my brain is
gonna be fucked, that's gonna be horrible.
And so I ended up like just bringing my whole sleep schedule
a lot earlier. And I was going to sleep every
night at like 9:30 10:00. And this was like, a few months
ago And I was doing a pretty consistently.
Obviously some days not that early, but pretty consistently
and yeah, it actually was really good because then I got used to
my body. Got used to it and I actually
started wanting to fall asleep earlier.
Anyways. So trust me, sleep is one that
you have to be a bit like, like not stubborn.
What's the word? You have?
To be a bit like a hard-ass on yourself at the start kind of
force yourself to do it. Maybe throw some melatonin in
there. Just give yourself that extra
love, you know, you deserve it. But definitely, like push
yourself at first because your He needs to get used to it and
then it will be so much easier over time.
And last but not least, when it comes to things that you want to
be writing down for your goals. What you want to do is also
after you've thought about the very obvious things like eat
sleep, exercise, career, mental health, all those things like
the very obvious kind of bubbles that you would think about.
I want you to then step back and think about is there anything
that I've been saying that I'm going to do but I'm just not
making time for it. I think we all have these things
like you think. Going to paint that like canvas
you bought a few months ago or you're finally going to finish
this book that you started reading on your vacation.
Or, you know, you're finally going to like make that recipe
that you like print it out and like, put on your fridge.
Like that kind of shit actually sit there and think about what
those things are for you because it is so exciting when we
actually complete those like, little tasks and even if it
doesn't take a lot of effort, it's sometimes harder for us to,
like, put time aside to do those things because we think, well,
you know, this isn't making me any money or This isn't like
serving anybody like it's just like a fun thing I want to do
but if you don't prioritize time to do the fun things that you
want to do just for you just to live life just to enjoy your
life and maybe learn and just, you know, live then you're not
going to give yourself time to do it, and I find people will
prioritize. Sometimes in this is, especially
me, when you're like, type, A get it done, you know, very
motivated, but like, kind of driven, you know, all those
things. Don't leave yourself space to
just live. Look, you really don't leave
yourself time to like soak up what life is about, which it's
not about, you know, like metrics and work and getting all
these things done all the time. Sometimes it's about like,
sitting there in zoning out and, like, reading or painting, or
singing, or playing an instrument and, like, really,
just, like soaking up the creative juices, you know what I
mean? It's just so important that
you're actually taking time to do those things.
And if you're someone like me, like you're similar to me, where
you Find it hard to like, actually plan to do that.
Then this would be a great time for you to add that in.
And so I literally Wrote Paint the canvas that I bought six
months ago on my thing for this month.
So Allah, I'm going to do that and another one is I'll always
have topics that I like really want to become educated on.
I'll think of things and I'm like, oh, that's so interesting.
And I would love to hear more about that or like learn more
about that but you don't really set set set aside time of for
it, you know. So I'll even write down like
become educated on this thing. And then I'll just take some
time like maybe an hour, or maybe like a few minutes every
day. Like I'll Google a little
something, something about that topic.
And I'll just become somewhat educated on like a random topic
that I think is kind of cool, and it's just cool, it just like
you learn stuff. And then you don't realize how
much it just helps you in conversations and, you know, you
just are, you're just fucking interesting.
You just become an interesting person and you just enjoy
learning like I fucking love learning and I feel like we need
to not give learning such a bad rep.
Because learning is dope like it's fun.
All right, coming up to how we're going to do this.
So like I said you're going to write it all down.
What is most important here is that you're also creating
systems that support your goals. So writing down goals is
amazing, we love that for you, but if you aren't actually
planning how you're going to let complete those goals, then
there's no like purpose in doing it in the first place.
I could just not going to happen, you know?
For example if you want to exercise three days a week, what
are you going to do to make that happen?
Are you just going to get to the end of week and Hopefully, I
went three times, you know, are you just going to randomly throw
it in when you have time? No, because you're not going to
do it. All right, so what do you do?
Maybe you can plan the classes beforehand, right?
You can like book them in. So like, if you have to cancel
it, you're actually having to go into like your gyms app and like
cancel the classes. Like that's a really helpful
one. I do that and that does it for
me every single. We got to start the week.
I just look okay. When am I going to go to
Pilates? I booked my three classes.
Boom, boom were out. That's it.
Done easy. You know, I'll do that.
At another one, you can do. If you don't like book classes,
you just go to a gym is finding like a gym, buddy.
Who wants to do the same thing as you and having that
motivation to go with somebody else?
Can be a lot of fun. I just don't want you to 100%
rely on that because sometimes, you know, obviously, your
schedule isn't going to line up, line up 100% with that person,
and then you will use that as an excuse to not go.
So you better be knowing yourself on this one and don't
rely on just that, okay, another thing you can do is if you keep
a personal calendar, which oh my God.
I hope you do because if you don't, what the fuck, how are
you doing your life? Actually don't understand.
Like, when I talk to people and they're like, yeah, oh I forgot.
And I have these plans on Thursday night and this and this
and this and I know that they either just keep it in there
like notes or they just don't keep schedule.
I'm like, holy shit. First of all congratulations on
your memory because I am like a fish, I could never.
Anyways, my other example on this is like, say you want to
finish a book write and you write down finish a book.
I love that for you but there's no way you're going to do it
unless you create a plan. So maybe you want to read 15
minutes per day Maybe you want to set aside two, afternoons in
your week, where you just going to spend that time like reading
and really digging into that book.
You know, obviously, I don't know your schedule looks like,
but maybe that's going to be two evenings, right?
Whatever you want to do. However, you think it's going to
work best for you. Make sure you actually set out
like specific amounts of time and when you're going to do it,
so you can actually create that system.
That's going to support your goal.
All right? Last but not least.
I want to talk about why it's important to be setting these
goals. I think, for me at least it's a
Lyra marker to see whether or not I'm moving in the right
direction and it's not always that, I reach the goal.
Sometimes I end up falling a bit, short of the goal, but at
least I can go. Okay, well, I did a pretty good
job. And like I did this, right, I
did this right and then you can actually go and figure out what
you need to change to make that goal then happen.
So like maybe you said, you know, you want to finish a book
and you didn't finish it but you got three quarters of the way
through. It's okay.
Well right now I'm reading 15 minutes per day and I actually
feel like that's a lot of reading for me, that is enough
reading for me. And I don't care if I read
slowly because I'm enjoying this book, maybe you can actually sit
there and go. Okay, technically, I didn't
complete the goal, but I'm actually happy with how this
went and then maybe on your next month setting of your goals.
Instead of writing finish a book, you can just write 15
minutes per day or 15 minutes four times a week or whatever
you want to make it you know. So you can be specific and sit
there and actually think what do I want?
You know, you don't have to Fleet anything even saying that
Oka, I want to read one book a month.
Well, books are different sizes, you know, some books, you want
to read slower some books, you need to put down and like
process it like it's okay to have goals that are so specific
to like what would be the general like rule of thumb?
You know what I mean? Just do what works for you.
And I think of another reason why I really like it is because
it's kind of like a chance for you to manifest if you will and
if you're not into manifesting I would just call this like
putting it in the Forefront of your mind, right?
Right? So if you sit there and you go,
okay, I'm going to become someone who exercises regularly,
this is going to be something that I'm going to do.
You don't go to work out 3 days a week, that's, you know,
someone who exercises, that's amazing.
If you have that in the front of your mind and then you're out
talking to a friend at a bar. And they're saying, oh, this is
what I did today. Oh, and I did this Boxing class
and whatever you as someone who knows that you are someone who
exercises you can go. Oh, that's really interesting.
I've never tried boxing and they go.
Wow! Oh my God!
We should go together sometime and it just Because you have it
in your brain. That like, that is something
that you do. That is something that's part of
your goals. It's in the Forefront of your
mind, you will naturally see those things come up in
conversations more and that you actually like get more from that
as well. Like the people around, you will
start to reflect those things. Got really feel like everything
is a mirror and the more that you have in your brain, these
are things that I'm going to be doing.
These are things that I'm completing, these are the goals
that are on my brain. You know, these are things, I'm
working towards if you actually know what those things are.
You are so much more likely to get these things and that's why
I'm going to go into visualization.
Now, visualization is number two, I have a whole episode on
this. So if you want to listen to like
me, really get all we with it. Then listen to that specific
episode because it's just a few back and it's it's good.
If you are into this kind of stuff because visualization has
changed my life. Let me tell you it absolutely
has like I grew up religious as a Christian not a Christian
anymore, don't go. Anymore.
But I was very very into that whole life and it's so I want
you to know that I understand the whole religion thing.
Like I've used to be very much like a holy spirit person and
like, you know, believed all that and that's fine.
And if you if you do I love that for you, whatever works for you
best. Do you like, you know, do what
works for you. But I learned that I didn't want
to connect it to any type of spirituality anymore, not
spirituality any kind of religion, I guess.
But I really still like the idea of spirituality and believing
that there was something. Going Beyond just the physical
like I've always felt like very intuitive and I've always felt
like you know there's so many might just circumstances that
I'm like how did that happen? Or why did that happen?
You know, I just really feel like there is something and so
for me visualization is a really beautiful tool that I can use to
get the things that I think that I want in life, you know and for
example like maybe about a year ago I was working in Hospitality
still my following Is probably around like hmm.
Maybe like 50,000 or something like obviously wasn't doing
social media is like my job, I thought it was cool because like
people were somewhat invested in what I was doing but like I just
wasn't I wasn't thinking the big at this time and I mean I wasn't
really thinking I was going to be doing a lot with it.
Like I had the podcast, you know, things were kind of slowly
becoming a thing but you know, wasn't doing that much and I was
working hospitality and I was so frustrated because working like
40 hours a week at least and doing these like 10 hours shifts
in a restaurant. My feet were killing me like
leaves sweaty as fuck. So stressed it was like the
busiest restaurant in the world, so dramatic.
But I'd been working Hospitality for seven years or six years six
or seven years at that point, I was just so tired of it and I
was also trying to do all my Social Media stuff on top of it.
I was also training to become a Pilates instructor and I was
just doing so much and remember, feeling so overwhelmed, but I Go
on my brakes and I would go sit in the park when I'm you know in
the middle of this 10-hour shift, I'd go sit in the park,
I'd like get myself some food quickly and I would sit there
and sit there with my journal and I would just like write down
things that I wanted. I would write down the life that
I wanted. Like I would know that I was
experiencing a life that was really stressful and was
completely throwing out like my hormones and my mental health
and was just fucking me up but I knew I needed to make money and
I knew I was kind of stuck in that situation.
At the time. But I was slowly working towards
the things that I wanted to do and that was like, social media,
of course, which is funny actually just to, you know, go
on a little tangent here, I literally would make Tik toks on
the bus, on the way to work, and it was like a 45-minute bus for
something there and back. So I like spent, you know,
almost 2 hours by the end of the day like just getting to and
from work, this is ridiculous. Like what the fuck was I doing?
This is so stressful, even just thinking, About this.
I would make talks on the bus would make tick-tocks on my
lunch break at the end of my little manifesting moment and I
would make tick-tocks, like when I would come home from work, if
if I did just like a short lunch shift or in the morning before
work, like I literally was posting three tick-tocks every
single day for like, two months straight and I was like the time
that I grew on Tick, Tock the most and it was just insane.
Like, I was so insane about getting the things that I
wanted, but I was like, I don't care.
I just want to do it. Like I want this to be my life.
I don't want to keep working in hospitality.
E. I'm going crazy.
Like I just want to build these things that I want to build and
I want to help people and I want to talk about the things that
matter, you know, I just felt like I needed the work that I
was doing to have purpose and like have a meaning to me.
And so I would sit there and I would just write out, you know,
different things like literally specific individual situations
that I wanted to be in. Like I would, this is so
embarrassing now. But I literally right down like
you know one of my favorite Brands is going to email me and
ask me to like collaborate or whatever.
Like you know, just little things.
Or I'm going to get a job teaching Pilates and someone's
going to say how much they love my classes, like it sounds now
coming out of my mouth a little bit, like, self-centered, or
whatever. It doesn't need to be though.
I just, and I don't mean it to be that way, but it was just
like I wanted to picture the life that I wanted to have.
I wanted to picture scenarios that I wanted to be.
And and I am telling you almost all of these things have
happened in my life that I have written down, like when you
visualize what you want, It for yourself, they just naturally
come to you, like they really do just start to flow into your
life and whether you want to say that's because manifesting works
or you know the universe is hearing you or God is hearing
you or whatever the fuck whatever however you want to
like make it make sense in your brain.
I totally respect you and I love that for you.
But all I know is that doing this is going to help you for
whatever reason because I've seen it over and over and over
and that's why I've been doing this stuff for years and I've
been focusing on Journaling and visualization and gratitude and
goals, and all this stuff, because it fucking works, bro.
Like it just works. Alright, so don't ask me why,
but just do it, I'm telling you. And if you want to hear more
about this than just go, listen to my visualization episode
because things can get a little bit spooky if you want them to
wait, one more thing I wanted to add here is I feel like if
you're acting as if things are going to happen then you
naturally prepare for them and you naturally talk about them
and this is similar to what I was saying earlier about.
How if you talk about things of people they're more likely Lee
to actually help you out. So say for example you're like
oh I've been wanting to do more like photo shoots or like say
you're an artist and you want to put out like an album you like
okay I think you putting up this album and probably going to be
putting up music in January and you always tell people yeah I'm
putting out music in January all this is what I've been working
on. You're showing your friends
things. You're showing them a little
Clips you starting to promote it on social media.
You know, you're doing these things to like show that this is
what you're going to be doing and so naturally If someone
knows someone who's a producer or they know someone who's a
photographer, Refer or whatever in your talking about, you
talking to them about, you know, what you want to do, and they
can see that you're passionate about it.
They can see that you care about it.
They can see that you're going to put all this effort into it.
They are more likely to go. All I actually have a cousin
who's a photographer or, you know, I've heard that this
thing's really helpful, or I follow this person who talks
about how to, you know, grow on social media, as a artist, or
whatever. You know, people just will want
to be helpful. People will be want to be
useful. And if you don't tell people
about the things that, That you want then they can't help you
with them. And I actually saw a really,
really beautiful video this week by Dylan Mulvaney.
I think it is. And they're a really really
beautiful Tik Tok ER who is trans and she talks about like
all these different things to do with basically just her life
like if you ever seen the videos on Tick-Tock where she comes up
and she's like it's day a 75 of being a girl or whatever.
Anyway, she's super sweet, love her videos and she did a vision
board and she We posted like it's like he's so cute.
Is this little cut out on this board and she put them all up on
the board. And she went through and she
explained all the things that she wants to do this year and it
was so cool. Seeing someone at that level it,
she was like a bajillion followers and, you know, has
done a really amazing things in the last year.
Like just insane. Like her career has shot up,
just insane. And I thought it was so cool
because she was saying that she was like, share with people what
you want to do. Like don't be embarrassed by
having goals, don't be embarrassed by wanting a A life
that is bigger and better than what you want.
Like don't feel like small by recognizing that you're not
where you want to be right now because it's so much better to
meet someone who is saying I want to do all these things and
they're passionate and they're excited.
Then to meet someone who tries to Puff themselves up in their
current situation like acting like what they're doing is so
cool right now because like fuck that like outage I'm like where
are you growing? Then if you are acting that way
you know what are you doing? And I think we see these People
all the time. Like if you've ever worked in
like Hospitality, for example it is a classic example of like
you're working with someone and there's like a manager who's
just like an asshole to everybody because they Power
Trip on thinking that what they're currently doing.
Is so cool but deep down they're like, you know, I didn't
actually do the things that I wanted life or like, this isn't
what I want, or I'm just in this position.
But I actually want to open my own restaurant and you see it in
people and you see it in every industry.
But I saw this all the time and people and it used to just like,
grind my gears because I was like, bro.
Get a fucking life like genuinely for your sake, get a
life, like it's the figure out what's going to make you feel
good and like work towards those things and don't be embarrassed
by not being where you want to be.
Like most of us are not where we want to be.
That's called that because it's kind of how it works.
You know what I mean? We're all growing towards things
were all like trying to move forward in our careers or get
that degree or like work out the Kinks in that relationship or
you know, build your friend group or whatever.
We all have things that we want to be better at or do better at
Or grow. And that's awesome.
Like, that's something that you should tell people and share
with people, and be aware of not like be scared of because if you
are already at a place where you're like, holding yourself
back and being like, Oh, you know, I would like this book.
I don't need it, bro. You're not going to fucking get
it. You're not gonna get it.
You can't. You can't be thinking that way.
You have to be, okay, with being like, it's okay.
I'm, I'm low, like I'm small. I'm, I'm like barely at the
start of my journey, you know, I'm at the Very start of my
career. This is nothing.
Like you need to have that mindset or you're going to get
stuck and you're going to get complacent in, you're going to
get comfortable. Anyways, that was a bit of tough
love for you, but it's true. So number three is practicing
gratitude. Oh my God.
Okay, gratitude is one of those things that if you have not done
this before as a practice you look at it and you think it's
dumb I get it. Okay you think it's a bit lame?
You're like how is that going to help me?
I understand I can be bit negative but this is going to
make me more Positive like writing down on a piece of paper
like a few things. That's a good about my life.
Like, whatever I get that. My life is good.
Okay? Stop okay.
Just try it. Promise me.
Okay. You're going to do it because
gratitude has helped me. So, so, so so so much.
Like I am someone where I've struggled with anxiety.
I've struggled with depression, I've struggled with these
automatic negative thoughts. Thank you to my therapist for
teaching me that. And I've really needed to weed
out the negativity and sometimes It's not just weeding out the
negative thoughts, but you need to, like, fill those spaces with
positive thoughts and you can seem so basic.
It can seem so rudimentary but it really is helpful this year,
I'm actually doing the 5-minute Journal which is like super
popular. If you follow any like wellness
girly on Instagram or techtalk that bitch has that journal,
okay you're going to see them everywhere now.
Now that I've said it you're going to see them and so sweet,
my friend Faith, if you guys don't know if a that she's my
bestie she's so cute and she Got it for me, for Christmas.
And so we're actually doing it together, which is really cute
because, like, some days. It'll give you a little prompt
and it will be like, here's a little motivation, quote right
over for the day and we'll go, we text each other be like lol,
the prompted, a was so funny or like that thing reminded me of
you and it's really cute. So do with a friend, that's a
really good idea for you guys. Thanks faith for the idea
anyways with gratitude specifically.
It's just a section of that Daily Journal five-minute
journal. In that journal specifically if
you guys are curious, I'll just tell you what it is.
It gives you Like I said, a quote or a little challenge at
the top and then it will tell you to write down things that
you're grateful for like three things.
It'll ask you to write down three things that would make
today. Great.
Which I really like and then you're like affirmation for the
day like your thing that you're going to say to encourage
yourself basically throughout the day that's the morning and
then five minutes at night as well.
You write down three things that made today great.
And then I forget what the last thing is.
I forgot the last one is, but basically that's it.
Just a little journal to keep you up and to keep you motivated
and to check in on your mental health.
And I think it's just really really really healthy and really
good for you. Anyways gratitude specifically
something that I started doing in lockdown because oh my God
guys I'm so sorry. We're going to take a pause.
I just need to tell you this my dad literally just sent me a
text. He's so cute.
He just said congratulations on one week.
Vape free. And on reaching 300 thousand
followers on tick, dog. Oh my God, guys, I love him.
He's so cute. I'm see.
You knows vaping is something. I struggled with literally all
the way since high school. Funny story, actually, we're
taking another tangent is the day that I left Canada to move
to Australia. I told myself I was going to
quit on that day moving to Australia.
Like I'm telling you guys, this has been a whole asssss like
thing in my life like it's been present for a very long time.
I said I was going to quit on that day and I left my vape
inside the house and I literally brought my Eggs out in my mom
and my dad. We're going to be taking me to
the airport and we're like all getting in the car.
Again, my papers inside, I start getting anxious stressing out
and I'm like, I need to go back inside and I need to go see Max
one more time, my dog who I was obsessed with in love with and
so sad to be leaving and I was like I need to see Max one more
time. So I went inside alone and went
inside. Picked up my dog, I was just
crying my little eyes out. I was obsessed.
I was so sad to be leaving him by then.
End up having like basically an anxiety attack sort of freaking
the fuck out and was like, I need my babe, I knew my baby.
When it got my vape and then went back to the car.
Imagine my parents just sitting there, casually waiting for me
in the car like nothing's going on.
I'm in the car, I'm in the house.
Having a goddamn anxiety attack holding my dog, my dog's.
Like what the fuck? Vaping aggressively like a
psycho? Then I come back to the car just
like vaping and then I get in the car and my parents are like,
are you okay? I'm like no.
Anyways. So I kept the baby.
The way through we're going to go back to what the podcast is
actually about today. So sorry about that.
I told you guys have another in a while.
All right, I'm feeling a little bit Rusty.
I started doing this in lockdown and I feel like doing gratitude,
just really helps you to clear out all the bullshit and helps
you to focus on the good stuff and often we forget how good our
lives are you know it's so easy. So so so so so easy to get
complacent. Even you know, when you start a
new job, six months later at the start you were like this is so
fun. This is so fresh and so crazy.
Oh my God, I'm so proud of myself six months later you like
I'm just Like board, you know? Like, I just want something like
that, challenges me. It's like bitch.
You felt so challenged, like six months ago, like, just relax,
like, just enjoy, not being under stress, 24/7.
Like, I think it's gonna be okay, you know, sometimes we
just do that and we get so used to wanting there to be like
something exciting. All something happening all
something new, a new relationship, but Baba, you
know, we jump from relationship to relationship.
We always want to have butterflies.
We always want to have that new friend.
We always want to have that new like Vice, that new drug, that
new drink, that new, whatever, like we are.
So, Prone to like wanting to have these like dopamine hits
and like wanting all this good. Amazing, crazy stuff all the
time that when things are just like good and consistent.
And like, we have a regular like consistent, release of like
serotonin and things are like, fine.
We get fucking bored. Is that just me?
I don't know. But I think a lot of people get
like that. And gratitude for me, helps me
to go, oh my God, my life is so good.
What the fuck am I complaining about?
That's why I do it. Literally, that is why I do it.
And I think it also helps you to become genuinely grateful and
like genuinely thankful for Going on in your life which
helps other areas of your life and this is another like branch
and reason as to why I do gratitude, is it helps your
relationships? Like imagine you're sitting
there at the end of the day and you're going.
Well, I'm so thankful that I hung out with my friend today
like that was something that was so fun that really made my day a
good day you're more likely then to go text your friend and say
hey I had a really nice time hanging out with you like love
you so much. Thanks for being there for me.
You know, you're so much more likely to do that and that
strengthens your relationships or maybe you hang out with
someone for the first time and you have a nice time, you go
home, you go. That was nice and maybe, you
know, in a regular scenario you want really think about again,
maybe you wait for them to message you.
You don't really, you know care, you wouldn't reflect but at the
end of the day you sat down and you said I'm going to do my
gratitude and you sit there and you write down.
Wow, I actually really enjoyed this person's company and we
like weirdly, hit it off really quickly and so you then go
message them and say, hey, by the way, love hanging out with
you, would absolutely love to hang out with you like next
weekend. If you're around or, you know,
we should make plans to go do that thing that we talked about
wanting to do together, like, you know, when you said we
should do some boxing, I want to go.
Go box with you. So you know I mean there's just
more opportunity for you to reflect and actually strengthens
your relationships. And like I said earlier, when it
comes to your job and whatever, I think it really does, give you
a better like job satisfaction rate if you will especially when
things start to become boring and exciting and we're just
like, it's just like it's just consistent, it's whatever.
But you can actually take that it's consistent and be like, oh
it's great it's consistent. Its security its safety you
know, it's job security is financials.
Ability. And those are things that I
should be so grateful for because maybe at one time I
didn't have that. And that is something that I can
really reflect on and be like, wow, I'm actually so grateful
for that, you know, it really just helps you.
It makes you feel better about yourself your life if it makes
you feel more motivated because the better you feel about your
current situation. The more likely you're going to
believe that good things are coming to you and that good
things are going to keep coming and if you are in a shitty spot.
Like if you are going through some hard stuff right now, it
helps you to not. Make that your whole life, it
helps you to go. Okay.
Well, you know what? Yes, I'm going through a
horrible breakup and I feel like hell and this is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me and this is probably the worst I've
ever felt in my life. You can still go.
Okay but you know what, I'm really enjoying the summer or
I'm really enjoying this friendship that I have or I'm
really enjoying my job right now or I'm feeling really motivated
to work on this thing or this is going to teach me something,
right? It's going to help you to change
your mindset on how you feel about The Break-Up.
Oh maybe this is actually a chance for me to learn A lesson
or maybe this is a chance for me to finally be single and work on
healing XYZ from my childhood or from high school or whatever.
You know. I mean it really just helps you
to step out of your situation and not feel so shit about
yourself which we all need and we are on to number 4 which is
having a routine specifically that requires as little
decision-making as possible. So the reason I point that out
in want to make that very clear is because the point of having a
row teen is so that you don't have to decide every single day.
What you're going to do first, when you're going to do your
skincare or if you're going to do your skincare, you know, when
you're going to eat it whether or not, you're going to drink
water before you even have your coffee, like what you're going
to do before bed, all these things like these little
decisions. If you do not have a routine
you're probably not going to be optimizing those times of your
life and although, you know, you can just chill and have a good
time. I also feel like having routine
Is nice because then when you do go away from it or you do have a
night where you just like, fuck it.
I'm not doing the whole journaling bullshit.
I just want to go and take talk, I feel like shit.
That's fine, you know? I mean you can do that but when
you do that every single night, it's really not going to help
you. It's really not gonna help your
mental health. And remember, this isn't about
like being the best person in the world.
This is this is for you like all these things are just to make
your life better. So if you're sitting here going
I don't want it. Like I just I could never be
that person who has like a full-on routine bubble bubble
butt. Like that's fine.
If it's not you then it's not you.
You but it's all going to help you.
These are all just things to help you, you know?
So anyways, I want to say first of all that having a routine
doesn't mean it has to be the same every single day and like
I've talked about in so many episodes now, cycle sinking is
the best thing in the world, if you don't cycle sink, then get
on that shit. That's obviously, if you have a
menstrual cycle to sync to, and it just means that in the
different phases of your cycle, you're going to be doing
different things, so you're probably going to have more
motivation, more energy around off.
Nation and you probably gonna have a little bit less energy
around your period or leading up to your period when you're
potentially experiencing like PMs and things like that.
And at the point of Cycles thinking and having a routine
when it comes to cycle syncing is because you start to know
what works for you. So for me, for example, I know
that for about three days before my period, every single month, I
kind of want to kill someone, you know.
And that sometimes that someone is me.
All right. And so, I am not going to be
completing any shit at that time.
I'm not gonna be able to do any of Of my like, collaboration
type of work. I'm not going to be recording
any episodes. I'm not going to, I'm just, I'm
not going to be fun. Trust me.
You guys don't wanna hang out with me when I'm like that and
so I make sure to get things done at different times and get
them done earlier. So I'm avoiding that time.
So I'm not having to push myself when I really feel like my
lowest to, then create things. When I am not feeling like I'm
able to create things because that means that I'm not going to
be putting out the content, I want to be putting out.
I'm not going to be feeling like as motivating and fun, and
amazing. As I normally am on the podcast,
just kidding. But you know what I'm saying?
I'm not going to feel like myself and I want to be able to
bring my fun self that I normally am, but I don't want to
have to do that when I feel like shit because that's just not fun
for anybody involved, you know? And so it's really important to
recognize the patterns that you have consistently and cycle
thinking is going to help you a lot with that.
If you want to hear more about that, of course, go listen to
it. One of my other episodes because
there's a lot to say about it. The last one that I just did was
really, really good and I interviewed the sick.
Vocal coach. She is so cute and so funny, we
love her. Her name is nam actually, and
that episode was really great like that I've gotten really,
really good feedback from that one.
And it's just really simple and, like, easy to apply.
And so go listen to that if you want to learn more.
So I thought I would share with you my morning and my night
routine. It's very basic, very simple
something that you can use if you want to, but it's just for
me what I do. And it's been working pretty
well for me, recently. And I've always found routine
starts just so helpful. Like like I said, You in high
school. I used to wake up, go to the
bathroom, wash my face, like, do my little skincare moment.
Go to my bedroom, put find the Ted Talk.
That I was going to listen to like there's a playlist of them
so just find a random one. Click on it, put set up my phone
beside by little like makeup light.
Turn on my makeup light, do my makeup wearing the exact same
robe sitting in the exact same chair.
I did this every single morning for like four years, I swear to
God, and it was so good. And then I would go back to the
other side of my bedroom, where all my clothes were.
And then I would pick out an outfit and I would make sure I
feel good and then I went upstairs and then I would make
my coffee. So, as I was doing makeup, I
would drink my water because I tried not to drink my coffee
right away. Then I'll go upstairs, then I
would bring my coffee and I'll take my coffee to school with
me. And if I had time, I would make
breakfast there or if I didn't, then I would just like pick up
something on the way or if I didn't have that then I would
wait until like my kind of like morning break to eat, which I
tried not to do. But anyways that was my high
school routine but now this is my morning routine.
So first of all, wake up, I'm not letting myself have coffee
right away. This is something I've been
doing now for probably, like maybe like a year or so pretty
consistently. And I know it has been fucked on
my body. I automatically this is so TMI,
but literally makes me have to go to the toilet right away.
Like I'll take one sip of coffee.
Boom, we're out of here. It's just not good, not to
mention that. I was also vaping this whole
past year as well. Bad vibes all around bad vibes.
Vaping also does that to your body.
So vaping plus the coffee right away in the morning, horrible
cocktail, horrible morning, horrible like release of
dopamine, but in like, the worst way.
Also, like having coffee on an empty stomach shoots up your
cortisol. If you didn't know this cortisol
is your stress hormone and so it literally can stress you out for
the whole day. Just based off that one coffee
on an empty stomach, it also fucks with your gut health,
which then fucks with, like your skin and your mood, and your
energy and everything. It is like the worst thing.
And I only really learned this recently how bad it actually is.
I always knew it. I guess I could tell in my body
that my body was like, please stop fucking doing this, but I
didn't realize that it was a concretely, like known bad thing
to do. Anyways, so we're not doing that
anymore. Number one, I drink water or
I'll have, like, I usually have some water right away, but then
I also drink this like collagen powder, it's from college & Co,
I'm almost out of it now. Actually.
I need to buy more or like maybe try a different one.
I don't really know because I have to order that one, but I've
been taking collagen because my skin has been going a little bit
crazy and call Legend just helps to.
I think like speed up the recovery of your skin if that
makes sense like reproduce. That's not the word but like the
the cells turnover of cells, you don't talk about it.
Does that it, like, speeds up. So it's quite good for you.
And collagen actually helps with a lot of other things as well,
like bone health and like Muscle Recovery in a bunch of random
shit as well. And so I just I like it.
I like how it tastes. I like the little powders and it
helps me to feel like I'm drinking something that is a
drink, but it's Coffee. And so, I have that first of
all, and then I try to eat something like small.
Like, maybe I'll bring like a banana back to bed with me.
Yes, we are going back to bed. Also, my morning routine is a
little bit fucked. Okay.
If you don't like it, then I don't care.
And then I'll try to bring like maybe a little banana back to
bed with me, but I struggle to eat right away in the morning.
So sometimes I'll just go back with my little water, /,
college, and drink whatever. I did that morning, then I go
into my bed and I do my five-minute Journal because I'm
still waking up. Okay, when I first wake up, I'm
like a goddamn zombie. Like I am non-existent I am not
actually here. Okay so I do my five-minute
journal in that kind of wakes up my brain a little bit without
like I'm not having to complete any task, you know.
I mean I'm not like doing my makeup, I'm not making
decisions. I'm literally just like,
writing, and chilling and waking up then from there, I will get
up it all tidy around my bedroom area.
If I for some reason, left clothes or whatever on the
floor, the night before, which I try not to do, but sometimes it
happens depending on what my knight looked like.
If I was tired or just being lazy, it happens.
So clean up and I'll make my bed, which is a new thing that
I've been doing, it makes me feel very bougie.
It makes me feel like a cute Wellness girly, and I think it
just makes it nice because, you know, that you're doing
something for future. You, you know, I mean, like, you
know, you're resetting for future you and that's amazing.
So I do that and then I will then go eat if I hadn't eaten
anything. So then like, I'll really force
myself to eat because I used to be really, really bad with
eating breakfast. Like I would never eat breakfast
and I would just get like to a certain part of my day and I
would be having like stupidly starving and it just was so bad
for me. But I have actually noticed this
week now that I'm not vaping. I, my appetites coming back.
Yay! Finally!
Because my appetite was so low for so long and it was really
frustrating because people always think like, oh, low
appetite so good. It's going to help you be like
skinny, like no actually fuck off.
Having a healthy appetite is important.
Like if you don't have a healthy appetite, that's bad, that's
there's some going on in your body and it needs to be sorted
and I had like, no appetite. So I never wanted to eat and I
never like wood. Motivated hook myself, anything
because I was like, I'm not even hungry.
Why the fuck would I cook myself something?
So I'd wait till I was starving. And then I would just like order
ubereats and then eat like shit, which would also make my gut
health worse after, especially my coffee in my vape, you know,
I mean, like, I was absolutely cursing my body before.
So, I'm very happy that my appetites coming back and I'm
motivated to eat more. And today, I literally made
myself like a nice little breakfast right away, and I did
this, and it felt so good, and I felt so accomplished.
So that's my morning the night time.
It's very short. I just literally do my skincare
routine. Teen and I pointed out
specifically here. That one of my goals is to not
pick my face. I don't know if anyone else
struggles with this. Maybe this is a bit
embarrassing, I don't know. Um, but I pick my face all the
time and like, if I had pimples, I'm always wanting to poke at
them and I always make it way worse, and I always just like
hate myself after for it. Like you just get like hyper
fixated on like your face and you just poke poke and then it
just makes you crazy, you know, I mean, so I'm trying to not do
that anymore. So my skincare and then I just
put reset, which is like putting away laundry and actually
tidying Myspace and like making sure does Room and like the
dining table and everything is like reset for the next day.
So when I come out I'm like, oh, I'm ready to like get work done
and I'm ready to like, you know, do the things I need to do
because otherwise it just sucks when you wake up and
everything's a mess and you're like just takes you so much
longer to get into the flow of things, you know.
So I try to tidy up and then of course I do my five-minute
Journal. So that's my nighttime routine.
And there's some things I would say that are on here.
That are not. I don't write down but they're
obvious to me. So I try not to go on my IPhone
right before bed. Sometimes I'll actually read
before bed, which I think I want to add that to like my nighttime
routine, but right now, I'm just trying to take it slowly and
putting in one thing at a time. And I'm not forcing myself to
like start this random crazy routine out of nowhere.
Like, I'm slowly building it up and I think that's really
important and something that I would recommend doing because as
much as we all want to be like the best version of ourselves.
Like if you randomly sit down and you say, okay, I'm going to
do this, this, this, this, this, this fucking Our routine every
morning and every night. There's just no way, it's going
to be way too intimidating, it's going to stress you out and then
you're not going to do it. You're gonna be like, wow, I
really can't change, I suck, but you don't suck.
You just overwhelmed yourself. So add things in one at a time.
Like, I am going to add that reading in a little bit later
and something else that I haven't written down.
I just noticed for my morning routine is, I don't go on my
phone or social media for at least the first half hour of my
day. And that again, has to do with
like, dopamine release and basically, having like a
Dopamine morning, which if you haven't seen this, like, trend
on Tick Tock, it's amazing. And it really talks about how,
if you do things are like really high, dopamine right away in the
morning, it kind of like basically fuck up the way your
dopamine releases throughout the day, which can just make you
feel like depressed and anxious and not how you want to be
feeling. And so it's just not great for
you. Obviously blue light and all
that shit is not great for you before bed.
And so I really just get like to give myself at least a half
hour, an hour would be amazing, but at least a half hour on
either end before I go to bed. And when I wake up to just Be on
my phone especially because I work on my phone too.
So I'll just like I had have such a bad habit of wanting to
wake up and like go to my emails and like see if this person has
responded and like you know check on this video or do this
or do that and read comments and then I just get into like a
whole spiral and I could just be sitting there working for the
next like eight hours if I wanted to you know.
So I try to set some boundaries especially because of what I do.
So just to finish out talking about routines I want to talk
about why it's important to have a routine because I feel like we
all could go. Oh yeah, makes sense.
It's helpful. Ever.
But there is a book called Atomic habits.
And what's who's it by? I'm trying to member now.
Oh well, I don't know, it's like something green.
Anyways, Atomic habits is like a very popular popular book.
I'll link it below. If you guys haven't heard of it
or you haven't read it, I would recommend it so much.
It really did help me and something that he talks about in
it is habit stacking and basically, what he's saying is
you ready have this regular routine, but it's easier to add
in little things than it is to just like, start a whole new
routine. Kind of like what I was saying
earlier. So, for example, if you're
someone who every morning you got up, you go make yourself a
coffee at your coffee machine. And that's the first thing
you're drinking. And you don't want to be doing
that. You're like, I need to at least
have one glass of water before I have my coffee.
Then what you can do is put like a water glass on the coffee
machine or beside the coffee machine every night before bed
or you can just have it like live there, you know, I mean,
you have some sort of things, some sort of plan like that.
So then in the morning, just as you normally, would you go get
coffee? But that glass is going to A
trigger you to go, oh, shit. I need to have a glass of water
before I have my coffee. So then you go.
You feel at that glass, drink a glass of water, and then you're
going to feel a lot better having that coffee.
And so, I would just recommend doing that, like, adding in
little bits, and not overwhelming yourself.
And I think as well. I kind of talked about this
earlier, but with a routine, it helps you to form a mindset of
like, okay, this is who I am. It's not just like tomorrow
morning. I'm going to try to get myself
to work out, you know, or tomorrow morning.
I'm going to try to get myself to make myself breakfast.
It's like, no. I am someone who eats breakfast
every morning. I can't go without my breakfast.
You know. You create this like mindset of
this is who I am not just something.
I'm trying to get myself to do, you know?
And when you use language, like, oh yeah, I'm trying to get
myself to go to the gym, three days a week, like, how on
motivating is that, you know, I mean, that's not good for you,
that's not going to help you. Whereas, if you say like, oh
yeah, I go to the gym, three days a week.
Like I like to stay active. That's you confirming.
That that's who you are and is a part of your identity and you're
much more likely to follow through with it because you're
not constantly going. Well, I'm not really good enough
for this but I'm trying to be better.
You're going. This is who I am and like I'm
capable. I'm fully capable of doing this
and I feel like that actually genuinely helps and when you
have a routine around it it just makes sense in your more likely
to want to do it in your body. It's going to get so much more
comfortable with doing it. It's going to Crave it more.
You know, when you don't exercise for a few days, you're
going to suddenly feel all stiff and you can be like, oh, I just
need to like go on a run or need to stretch or whatever.
You'll feel it in your body, you know, if you like, Heather
aren't eating enough or you're eating like unhealthy foods that
are You feel tired and sluggish. It's like, whoa, this is out of
my routine. I'm feeling different because
I'm not doing what I normally do, which is what I want to be
doing. And so your body, and
everything, really starts to get comfortable with this new way of
living. And then it's easier to keep it
up. And that's why routines are
really, really helpful. Whereas if every week you're
going on, I should go to the gym, three days a week bottle,
you know, like only want to go oh, it's such a stretch.
Oh, and you're constantly complaining then.
Obviously, you're not going to want to do it, you know what I
mean? So if you like, have it in like,
oh, you know, I go Tuesday, Thursday, and Today.
And I go with my friend on Tuesdays and Thursdays at you
should go alone and Saturdays. I usually let myself have a
sleeping so I don't go in till like 12:00 but yeah, that's it,
you know, you kind of just like know what's going to happen and
it makes you feel good about yourself and it really confirms
like who you are and makes it a part of who you are.
Okay. Last but not least, we have
recognizing what your habits are and kicking bad habit.
So I think we typically think we need to add to our lives, to
make it better, but often we forget that we also need to take
away things and if we keep adding without Taking away, we
can get stuck in this limbo where, like, change isn't really
happening or sometimes we're even worse off.
Like, for example, if you said to yourself, I want to start
waking up early every single day.
I want to wake up early. I want a book about fucking
Sunrise, oh my God. Yes, bitch, but you aren't going
to bed earlier. Then you actually end up worse
off because you're getting less sleep.
And then we all know that having a lack of sleep is just shit
house for your brain, for your energy, for your mood, for your
ability, to learn your ability to store information.
For your memory, literally everything.
Okay? You know, for your immunity for
your body, all of it. You need sleep.
You need need sleep. Actually, I'm going to make an
episode on sleep soon because I've been thinking about this a
lot. And I have a lot of
conversations with people about it, and someone actually asked
me to make an episode about it. So I'm gonna do that because
sleep is like kih-kih-kih-kih-kih to you.
So you need to figure out what the bad habit is.
Potentially, that is stopping you from going to bed, early.
Because, maybe you're actually fine at getting yourself.
Wake up, if you had enough sleep right, like there's nothing
wrong with waking up early. The reason waking up early is
usually hard for people is because they didn't give himself
enough sleep. So obviously, you're going to be
tired. Obviously you're gonna feel like
you're dragging yourself out of bed, you know?
And especially if it's a new routine, probably gonna be
harder on your body because your body is just getting used to it.
And so, what's that thing that's stopping you from going to bed
early? Is it your routine of going on
your phone for an hour on Tick-Tock scrolling in the dark
before you. Fall asleep?
Maybe maybe it's watching. Flicks before bed and like
wanting to watch like a whole bunch of episodes of your show.
Maybe it's like you live with a roommate or a partner or
something, and it's like their schedule and you actually need
to go and say to them. Hey I'm going to start going to
bed at this time. Just you know, I need you to
like respect that or try to go to bed earlier or try to like be
quiet or coming to bed and just understand that like, I really
want to make this a part of my bubba, bubba bubba and explain
to them, why it actually matters to you and whatever, you know,
you to figure out what is actually holding you back.
And this is just one example, but I think it's really
important and I would say, like I said, step one, like recognize
your habits, like actually sit down, take a piece of paper, I
encourage you to do this today at some point, just sit down,
this will take you five minutes. Think about what are my habits
that I do every single day? What are the things that I'm
just doing all the time? Good and bad, right?
So if it is going on your phone for an hour, write that shit
down. Do not lie to yourself, right?
Don't bullshit. Okay, this is this is step one.
This is just figuring out. What are we even doing right
now? Like, you know, then we're going
to work out the Kinks, but right now, we need to figure out
what's going on. And if you're noticing them
every day, I'm getting really hungry by lunchtime because I
haven't eaten anything. Okay, great.
Write it down, maybe you have something like I had an
addiction to vaping. Write that down.
All right, write down all the things that maybe are going on.
That are consistent that you don't like, but you can also
write down, of course, things that are consistent that you do
like and give yourself a little pat on the back because we love
that for you and like I said earlier, following this theme of
not Too crazy at the star in kind of like working your way
into creating these habits and these plans and the routines is
instead of creating this big beautiful idealistic morning
routine, start with one thing that you're going to take away
or one thing that you're going to shorten.
So for example, maybe you literally go on your phone for
one full hour every night before bed.
And you know, you do it and you hate that you do it and you know
that affects your sleep. But you're like, it's okay.
It's my time to unwind. Like, I love it, I enjoy it.
That's, that's great. You know, that's fine.
Don't feel like you have to go. Okay, I'm deleting to talk off
my phone. Like whoa, you know I mean it's
gonna be okay, take it down to 30 minutes before bed, take it
down to maybe then 15 minutes before bed.
Slowly Chip Away. There is no reason that you need
to plunge yourself into the goddamn deep end and spin
yourself out, all right? Because you're gonna go for a
week of it and then you're going to go I Mystic talk you're going
to download it and then you'll be right back into your old
routine because your brain loves routine, it loves patterns, it
loves narrative, it loves consistency and you have like
Pathways in your brain that are not set in stone.
They're very like firm and it takes a while to get yourself
out of those Pathways. And, you know, people say it
takes 21 days to break a habit or whatever.
It takes time, like, it does take time your brain needs to
create this General understanding of like, this is
who I am. This is what we're doing, you
know, this is what my life looks like.
This is what I do every night. Totally normal for me to go on
my phone for only 10 minutes, you know.
But you need to do that over time and give yourself Grace as
you go through it. And like I said, do kind of one
thing at a time. So if you're like okay.
I want to be on my phone all the time.
I also want to quit vaping. I also want to start reading
every night before bed. This is me, by the way.
I also want to be like, have a whole new cleaning schedule
where I clean my flat and I keep it like perfectly clean all the
time. And I really want to like, do
this, do this, do this. Create this content do this,
like amazing, love ever me, but I cannot do that all on day one.
I cannot do that all on January 1st, there's no way and I will
burn out. I will throw myself into the
deep end and I will die. So, don't do that, take it bit
by bit, and you're going to be Amazing.
Don't just think about the things that you want to add to
your life. But also both think about the
things that you want to take away things that just aren't
making you better. And this isn't to say that you
don't like these things. Okay.
Let me just tell you right now. I like vaping.
I like it. Okay.
Obviously, I like it or I wouldn't have done it.
Like, I was addicted to it because I liked how it felt, I
liked what it was doing for me, like, you know, that's how you
get into something. It's okay that you like the
thing. It's okay that you like and
Italy scrolling on your phone. So K that you like, like, laying
in the dark with a bright screen and you just fucking like it,
okay? I get that.
You like it, but if you know that it doesn't make you better.
If you know that it's holding you back or it's causing you to
have worse sleep or it's causing you to have negative mental
health effects or it's causing you to have physical, unhealthy
effects or whatever it is. You are worth taking those
things away. You know what I mean there is a
certain level of self-respect that you want to have and as
much as I want myself to have fun.
I want to indulge and I want to experience life and I want to do
all the fun things. I want to respect myself enough
to take away the things that are causing me harm or holding me
back and that's hard that self-control.
And I don't have the best self control.
I never have. Okay, I've always been a little
bit wild. I've always liked.
Let myself go. Have a good time.
That's how I like to be, but being fun and letting yourself
have fun and like experience life is different to letting
yourself like derail yourself and having so little
self-respect. Respect that you don't care if
you're hurting your body or your mental health or whatever.
I want you to start to treat yourself like a friend, like a
good friend that you really care about and when you're thinking
about what kind of advice you want to take in the things that
you want to start implementing. Think about things that you
would want your best friend to start doing for themselves.
You know like we have so many people in our lives and we see
them doing things that were like fuck if you just stopped doing
this thing you'd be so much happier or if you started
thinking this way you would be so much better off.
We don't do it with our self enough, you know.
Times we can be hard on ourselves with very specific
things like, you know, I need to lose x amount of weight, or I
need to do this amount of like reading per day.
I need to be very specific on these numbers.
But then, when it comes to things that we need to take away
that are glaringly obvious like, yes, reading, 15 minutes a day
is going to help you. That's amazing.
But when there's something that's glaringly obvious that
you are doing, that is not helping you at all, like, try to
actually think about what those things are.
And don't let yourself continue to have these vices in these
crutches, Has consistently. It's okay to have things from
time to time. It's okay to slip up but you
want to have a routine where you're consistently making
choices where you are showing that you genuinely, love, love,
love, love, love and respect yourself because that is how
you're going to grow self love and have a good relationship
with yourself. You're constantly making
decisions that put you last, you're gonna feel like shit
about yourself and it is going to affect every area of your
life. So it is worth taking the time
to think about what are the things that I am doing that?
Aren't It for me that are holding me back and how can I
start to slowly, get rid of those things or potentially cut
off cold turkey, if you're like me.
And that's how you kind of have to do it with actual,
addictions, and move away from those things because you are
worth like, loving and taking the time with and actually
pushing through with and being soft with yourself and like,
allowing yourself to heal. Just a few quick tips on kicking
and breaking the bad habits and then we are out of here.
So we're placing. The Habit is really helpful for
Me. I was using these little ripples
sticks as an alternative to vaping, because it helped with
the emotion of putting something up to my mouth all the time.
So we're placing it in some way even like I said, I like to have
a drink right away in the morning, that is not just water.
I started doing that collagen drink instead of doing the
coffee because I still feel like I'm having a drink, but I know
that it's something that's actually going to benefit me,
right? Our brains love repetition, love
predictability. So find something that works for
you and stick with it. Secondly, remember that it's
always going to be the Is at the start.
It's still conscious, right? It's still decision.
Making, it's still Choice. It's still effort and that takes
more brain power, which it might be more exhausting at the start,
which is why I again, encourage you to take things one thing at
a time. So that you're not feeling
extremely overwhelmed and you actually believe that this is
something that is doable for you number three.
And this is actually a really big one is knowing your why and
educating yourself. So, if you know that something
isn't healthy for you just saying to Elf, well, it's
unhealthy, that's not going to convince you.
When you have a craving or you want to quit, you know, your new
plan that you finally set up for yourself.
But you know when you can say to yourself well actually it's not
just that it's unhealthy for me. It affects my immune system.
It causes me anxiety. It affects my skin, you know, it
affects my relationships. It Bubba, Bubba, Bubba.
Then you're like, oh fuck. Yeah, that's motivating.
Like that makes me not want to do that thing or makes me want
to implement this thing in my life because I actually feel
like educated and I have a On why having a strong, why having
a strong conviction on why you are doing something or not?
Doing something is so important for like, every area of your
life. And this is going, I could talk
about all day but I really have found that for me when it comes
to my routines and it comes to my health it's like it's been
the biggest thing that has helped me because yes you can be
aware exercise is important for me.
Sure, love that. It's helpful.
It's healthy, we love that. But why why do you actually want
to exercise how can you You see it.
As more for me, I go to pilates not just because I want to
maintain my weight no, fuck that.
I go to Pilates because I want to feel strong.
I go to Pilates because I feel so much better after any kind of
back. Pain and knee joint pain.
Anything I had before like magically goes away because of
pilates, pilates is amazing. I go because it helps my mental
health. It gives me energy for the day.
I'd go because it keeps me connected with like, a community
of people. And it's always fun and
uplifting gets me out of the house.
That's why I go to Pilates, you know what I mean?
And I took the time to think about what those things are
actually doing for me. And that's why I stay so
motivated to keep going, whereas, if I was just like, all
go to Pilates, because I don't want to stay fit in.
Like, if I don't then like, I'm gonna gain weight.
Oh my God. And I'm obviously, that's not
gonna be motivating. And that's what a lot of people
do. They think very like surface
level and it's not going to help you.
So, take some time to figure out your wise, figure out why you're
even doing this, what you want in 2023.
You know, why you're still here, why you're pushing forward, why
you're still in? Maybe the Career in or why
you're changing the career that you're in.
Why you're studying the thing you're studying or why you are
changing that thing and really start to ground yourself, and
make sure that you are working towards the things that you want
because you deserve it, you deserve to have the dreams that
you have in your brain come to life.
Like you are absolutely capable one day at a time.
You are making things happen, and I'm so excited for you for
2023. So thank you guys so much for
listening. I hope you liked today's
episode. Please let me know if you liked
it or What you liked about it or anything, I just love getting
feedback from you guys. It really does help me and it
gives me good direction for like where to go in the future.
And if there are any episodes that you would like to hear or
any topics you'd like me to talk on, please feel free to DM me on
Instagram. My Instagram is Alyssa, Taylor
Harbor. And my Tick Tock is also Alyssa
Taylor Harbor. And that's it.
You can find me there, I'll link it all below.
Also, if you don't already follow the podcast on Spotify or
apple podcast. Please follow on one of those
apps where Were you listen? Because it really helps me helps
people to see the episodes. And that's it.
Oh, also we have a Facebook group now as well.
We have like almost 200 of us on there.
Now, I think it's very cute. Skill Community.
We love it. It's called The she said what
podcast group. So come join us because we have
some fun on there. So thank you so much.
Love you guys, and I will talk to you next time.
Bye.