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You're listening to. 
She said what with your house 

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Alyssa Harper? 
Hello sexy people. 

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Welcome back to. 
She said what if you have not 

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been here before then I just 
want to welcome you. 

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Let you know that this is a 
space for you, to come to become

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the best version of yourself to 
grow to work on that inner 

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dialogue. 
And whether we are talking about

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relationships or sex or 
sexuality, or like today money, 

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it's a space for you to come and
hopefully leave being a better 

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person. 
And you, Have done some 

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self-reflection. 
And so if you have been here 

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before, then, I just want to 
welcome you back. 

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And thank you so much for being 
here and for listening and 

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supporting the show. 
Today we're going to be talking 

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about healing your relationship 
with money and how everybody has

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a money story and it's something
that I have never actually 

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touched on before on the 
podcast. 

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And I'm really excited because 
as we know, I love to talk about

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things that I find people. 
Don't normally want to talk 

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about like those things when 
you're sat around a table, it 

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might be a little bit rude. 
I mentioned things like sex and 

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things like money, but I've 
never had the opportunity to 

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make an episode about money 
before. 

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And I've had such a journey with
money going from feeling like I 

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shouldn't want money or I didn't
deserve money. 

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Really undervaluing like my work
and to the point where now I 

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feel like I've broken a lot of 
those things down and I have 

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such a healthy relationship with
money in comparison to what it 

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was before. 
But of course, I'm always still,

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you know, growing and learning 
but I think I've just come so 

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far with it and I really wanted 
to share with you guys. 

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The different things that have 
come up for me when it comes to 

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money things like I don't 
deserve money or money is bad or

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money, makes me anxious and how 
I was able to work through those

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mindsets when it came to money. 
And then also how I was able, to

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figure out how to budget and to 
get a practical, hold on my 

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financial life. 
And so that's going to be 

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today's episode, I would say 
this episode is for you. 

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If you are someone who is 
anxious around money or you just

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want to Take a moment to think 
about what your relationship 

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with money is like, because 
maybe you haven't even really 

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done that. 
Or maybe you just want some 

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basic tips on budgeting and kind
of roughly figuring out, how to 

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understand what money is coming 
in, what money is going out so 

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that you're able to optimize 
your financial life because it 

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is something that we don't talk 
about enough, but is so crucial 

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to the way that we live our 
lives and everything our 

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happiness, and we're going to 
talk all about that today. 

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So let's get right into it. 
Starting out with a quick update

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on my week. 
As per usual, it was my birthday

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yesterday and I had the best 
birthday. 

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I actually think this is the 
birthday like that. 

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To me is the best I've had in 
years and years. 

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Probably since I was like quite 
a bit younger, just because I 

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spent it the way that I wanted 
to spend it about two years ago.

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I remember, I had this like 
party up on this, like, rooftop 

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of the building that I was 
living in at the time. 

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Sounds bougie. 
It wasn't, okay. 

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It was like, literally just a 
rooftop and I had like, not a 

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lot of close friends at the 
time, and I remember just kind 

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of inviting people to fill the 
space and trying to make sure 

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that like, it looked like I was 
doing something like, cool for 

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my birthday and I just didn't 
make me happy. 

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And I remember, looking back at 
that and being like, okay, I'm 

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not going to do that ever again,
because I tried to make it 

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something because I felt like I 
should be doing x, y z, but it 

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just wasn't like, personally, 
what? 

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I To do so. 
Then last year I went out for 

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dinner with Sam my partner and 
that was all that I did and I 

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was very happy to do. 
It will actually I should say, I

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went, I remember I went to 
breakfast with one friend and I 

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went to lunch kind of with like 
another one of my really close 

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friends and then dinner with 
Sam. 

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So there's a lot of eating and 
it was still great, but 

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definitely very like, low-key 
and this year. 

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I feel like I found the perfect 
balance. 

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We're like two weeks ago or so. 
I went out with all like all my 

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close friends was like 10 of us 
like not a huge group at all but

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like the Close close people to 
me and we went and just enjoyed 

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some like drinks and had a 
really fun time all together. 

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And we're all dressed up and it 
was just, it was so, so good to 

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have all of my people all in the
same space, which like doesn't 

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happen that often, you know. 
So that was really exciting for 

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me. 
And then I had a stay at a hotel

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here, in Surry Hills in Sydney, 
gifted to me with, like, a 

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dinner and stuff, which was 
like, so exciting. 

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And so nice that it just 
happened. 

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I happen to get that gift 
through. 

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Through Amazon Prime randomly 
and I got it through them right 

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before my birthday. 
And I was like perfect. 

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Let's use it for my birthday. 
So we went. 

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And if you saw my Instagram 
stories, I literally documented 

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the whole thing, because I was 
so excited about it, and it was 

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so fun. 
The room is beautiful. 

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If you guys are in Sydney, you 
need to go check out the Ace 

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Hotel because even just like the
downstairs bar area would like 

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anyone can just walk into any 
point and whatever is beautiful 

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and so fun and also like a very 
queer space which I didn't 

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expect at all. 
But like when you walk in, 

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there's a side big sign on the 
wall that says, like, queer all 

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year and like, eat could tell 
the different people in there. 

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All just very like Good Vibes, 
you know. 

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Those are it was a really, 
really good time and I just 

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stayed over with Sam and I and 
we did a really beautiful dinner

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upstairs at the restaurant. 
It's like 18 floors up and it's 

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called Kiln and because we had 
to use this voucher, we just 

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spent so much money on food 
because we didn't, we knew we 

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could do that because we weren't
paying for us, we'd have to feel

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like bad. 
About it at all. 

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And so we just like really wet 
out went all out and it was so 

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much fun. 
Like honestly, I'm so so 

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grateful and so thankful to have
the people in my life that I 

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have. 
Right now in to have had that 

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really great opportunity to 
spend my birthday doing 

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something, just really nice and 
like over-the-top and amazing. 

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And so, I had a great day. 
I'm finally slowing down getting

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back into like work this week 
and I thought this episode would

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be great because I think I said 
this may be last episode or the 

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one before that I had been 
listening to other podcasts And 

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like, reading, and even just 
like, personally journaling, 

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when it comes to, like my 
personal practice on a regular 

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basis, where I will journal and 
sit down maybe once or twice a 

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week and I'll really like dig 
into my thoughts and really 

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reflect and like, give my top 
myself that space to almost like

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meditate until. 
I feel like I've, I've kind of 

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like grounded myself. 
It's a grounding routine if I 

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will like that's how I would 
explain it. 

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That's my self care. 
And I was doing that and it's 

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money has been coming up so much
for me. 

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Money has been something that 
has really like, been something 

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that I've tried to understand 
why I see it the way I see it. 

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And it actually came up over the
last few days because I was in 

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this insane hotel room with like
this big daybed that like 

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dead-ass, like, four people 
could sleep on just the day bed,

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let alone the giant king size 
bed, right? 

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Beside it. 
And I walked in, and I was like,

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like, this is so beautiful. 
This is too much. 

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I don't need all this on. 
My God, this is, this is too 

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much. 
I feel bad and I would right 

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away right away. 
My thought was I feel bad. 

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Don't want Eve. 
What if I post this on Instagram

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and people think it's all that's
too much and and I started 

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getting really in my head about 
thinking this is too much for 

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me. 
I don't need all of this. 

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And even when I went to Pilates 
this morning, I literally walked

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in and so he's like, how's your 
birthday? 

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And I was like, it was amazing. 
It was insane. 

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Like, oh my gosh, like, I was 
just like shocked. 

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And I almost felt like weird 
talking about it because I 

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wanted to, I didn't want to come
off as, I don't know, like being

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like really privileged or 
whatever, I just didn't want to 

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come off. 
In a way that seemed like shitty

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if that makes sense. 
And so I think it's been 

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something that's really on my 
mind right now, but something 

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that I wanted to bring to you 
guys and talk to you guys about 

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because I had to fend thinking 
so much about it. 

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I was thinking about how when I 
was like in college and I had 

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like, literally no money and I 
didn't understand my money. 

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Like I had no idea was going on 
and never had to manage myself 

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in this way, I moved across the 
world and suddenly I had to 

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figure out my own life and I 
just never done it. 

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And I would have these 
situations where I would 

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suddenly need $200. 
I didn't even realize that I Pay

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this bill and it was this big 
stress and it be there calling 

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my mom going like Mom can I 
please borrow this money for 

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just like a few days and then 
when I get paid, all the pay you

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back, and I'd be feeling 
horrible. 

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I didn't know what the hell is 
going on, you know, I would 

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overspend sometimes in ways that
I just should not have overspent

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or other times. 
I'd be way too harsh on very 

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specific things. 
Like, I'd be like, I'm not 

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allowed to have a coffee. 
I'm gonna I'm gonna go no coffee

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and that's what I'm going to put
to the side. 

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And then I would let myself by 
like really expensive, other 

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things that I did definitely 
didn't need. 

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So like, my my, the way I 
thought about money just needed 

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to be like developed and I 
needed to start to understand 

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why I fought the way I thought 
about runny. 

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So I'm going to go through first
and tell you a bit about my 

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money story, which is something 
I learned from a podcast called.

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She's on the money. 
Yes. 

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That's what's called she's on 
the money, which is a great 

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podcast and I would recommend it
to you, for sure. 

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It's by this beautiful woman 
called, Victoria Divine, and she

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is literally Divine. 
No, but she She just speaks on 

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money and she's really great 
about it and like you can go 

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really in depth with it. 
But I've learned heaps from her 

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and she has talked about money 
stories and how everyone has the

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story like everyone has this 
history. 

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Everyone has certain traumas 
related to money or you saw your

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parents, as you grew up or the 
people that raised you, as you 

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grew up like talking about 
money, maybe never, or maybe all

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the time, maybe seeming stressed
about it, but not telling you or

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seeming stress about it and 
definitely telling you or making

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you You feel like a burden 
because you costed money or you 

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know we all have these different
stories and if we don't think 

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about the messages that we were 
told about money growing up, 

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then we don't often change those
narratives and move on in a 

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healthy way. 
It's similar to how I talk about

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our relationship with sex and 
shame. 

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And if we don't think about the 
messages that we learned about 

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sex and sexual shame, then we 
are likely to just hold on to 

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them, like subconsciously or 
unknowingly until we get A point

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where it really smacks Us in the
face. 

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And then we're with this just 
like really strong realization 

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of holy shit. 
I'm actually ashamed to XYZ to 

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masturbate or to use toys or to 
whatever because I was taught 

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that that was bad and I don't 
think that's bad that I was 

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taught it so you have to go back
and really recognize it. 

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And so, for me, my money story 
is that growing up? 

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I definitely like my family was 
definitely well off we were 

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totally fine. 
My mom was an accountant. 

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So So you could imagine we 
definitely talked about money 

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all the time. 
My dad was a supply teacher and 

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so he never worked full-time. 
And he always had like a second 

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kind of job on the side as well.
But he tends to be the one who 

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would like come and pick us up 
from school and do the things 

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where if anybody had to come and
deal with the kids, like Mom was

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at work, you know? 
But my dad would be there around

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to pick us up and do things for 
us. 

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And so we definitely, I 
definitely am privileged and I 

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want to acknowledge that off the
bat that that Something that I'm

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very lucky to have. 
And for me I am coming from a 

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place where I definitely didn't 
get everything I wanted. 

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By any means. 
I remember oh my gosh. 

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I remember when I was in like 
grade 6 I want to say I was 

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pretty young and these were 
there are these jackets that 

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were so popular? 
They were called Bench Jackets. 

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I don't know if anybody 
remembers. 

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00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,300
This is so embarrassing. 
They were like, literally like 

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kind of looks like rain coat and
then it had this big back 

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section. 
Where the hood would like, stick

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in there and everybody had one, 
it was like a cool thing to have

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00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:36,000
and I remember bunch of my 
friends had them and they had 

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like pink ones and purple ones, 
whatever. 

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And I was saying to my mom, mom,
I really want this bench jacket.

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Like I need this jacket. 
I need it, I need it, I need it.

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And they were probably like, I 
don't know. 

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I want to say like $120 or 
something like, they were over a

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hundred dollars. 
Like these are, these were like,

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00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,000
oh, this is a pretty nice jacket
for a freaking. 

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00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,600
I was like 13, right? 
Like for a young person 12, 12 

243
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years old, whatever I was, 
that's a pretty nice jacket, a 

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bit unnecessary rights on. 
Kitt. 

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Anyways everyone had one. 
I really really wanted one and 

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my mom was like I'm not buying 
you one of those. 

247
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You don't need that. 
You just don't need it. 

248
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You know, you only get the 
things that you need. 

249
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You don't need that, you have a 
jacket. 

250
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:15,500
And we went to this like op-shop
this like second hand store one 

251
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day and we found this one, this 
one bench jacket and it was like

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a teal color. 
It was actually so ugly. 

253
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This is so embarrassing. 
It was like a teal color and it 

254
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had like the bench part was 
written in like green. 

255
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:32,000
It was not good, but it was $60 
and my mom was like, okay, I'll 

256
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,300
buy you this bench jacket for 
$60, but you're not getting like

257
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:37,000
a new one. 
Like, you can have this one. 

258
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,900
And so, I took that bench check.
And I remember wearing it to 

259
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:42,100
school and I thought it was 
ugly. 

260
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:45,600
I literally thought it was ugly,
but I was like, but at least I 

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00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,100
have a bunch jacket because I 
want people to like, see that. 

262
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,000
I also have a bunch jacket. 
Like I'm also cool. 

263
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:52,200
So like that's an example of 
like what it was like growing up

264
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,700
for me. 
We're like my we definitely had 

265
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everything that we needed but I 
definitely didn't have 

266
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everything that I wanted. 
And if I wanted By certain 

267
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:04,500
things, it would be a 
conversation and like, okay, 

268
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,800
here's why I want it. 
And I would like to State my 

269
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:11,200
case when I wanted to go to a 
One Direction concert when I was

270
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,100
14, I want to see 13 or 14. 
I was obsessed. 

271
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:18,200
I was fully obsessed. 
And these tickets were like to 

272
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:22,300
$300, like they were very 
expensive, and I was like, Mom, 

273
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:24,400
like I want them so bad on them.
So, so bad. 

274
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,400
My sister and I sat down and we 
wrote a letter. 

275
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,600
We literally wrote a letter, 
like typed out. 

276
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,900
Out a letter printed it and 
like, put under my mom's pillow,

277
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:36,600
like, we would be, like, please.
We would convince her, and we 

278
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,100
would tell her why we needed, 
and why was it really important 

279
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,300
experience. 
And if we could justify things 

280
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,900
and we were allowed to get them 
or like maybe she would make it 

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00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:45,400
happen. 
But sometimes we couldn't in 

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00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:49,600
that just was the reality of it 
and so it was a bit of like a 

283
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,700
mixed experience and I 
definitely would not say that I 

284
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:57,100
missed out on things you know I 
went to all the school trips and

285
00:13:57,300 --> 00:14:00,400
if I really wanted to get into 
like a sport Something, all of 

286
00:14:00,408 --> 00:14:04,000
that was supported and I did 
piano lessons all the growing up

287
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:06,400
and even that, like, that's a 
really good example as well, 

288
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,900
somewhere in between. 
So like I really wanted to do 

289
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:11,300
piano and vocal lessons. 
And my mom was like, well, we're

290
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:13,600
not paying for you to do both of
them. 

291
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:15,900
So I alternated. 
So every other week I would do 

292
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,000
piano and every other week I 
would do singing lessons. 

293
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,900
So it was kind of like that 
mixed in between and growing up.

294
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:26,500
I think, being in that space 
where I had what I needed, but I

295
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,300
didn't have everything I wanted.
I think it did teach me. 

296
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:33,100
Really well how to justify the 
things that I want. 

297
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:36,100
But there's always like a flip 
side to that. 

298
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:40,000
So as much as I felt like it was
important for me to figure out 

299
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,900
what was in need and what was 
like a Justified purchase. 

300
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,800
It also means that now in my 
adult life, I have moments where

301
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,300
I'll be saying to say I'll be 
like just, you know, I bought 

302
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,800
this and I got this but Kate, I 
really needed it because I'm 

303
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,300
running out of this and this is 
this is this and he'll say to me

304
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,900
you don't have to justify it to 
me. 

305
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:59,100
You don't I don't I don't care. 
You don't have to explain to me 

306
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:01,000
and I'll go. 
I just want you to know that I'm

307
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,800
not wasting our money. 
I'm being really Mindful and 

308
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,700
like I really like 
overcompensate in that sense. 

309
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:10,100
So we'll get into that a little 
bit more in a second but it's 

310
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:12,300
funny how a lot of these things 
that we learn. 

311
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,800
There's always like a flip side 
to it. 

312
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,200
There's a good, there's a bad, 
and we all come from a different

313
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,200
place. 
So what I want you to do is to 

314
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,700
absolutely take a second here. 
And think, okay, what was my 

315
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:26,100
money story like growing up and 
if you have a very clear thing 

316
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:27,900
in your mind right now of like, 
well we had no money, we were 

317
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:30,900
poor, okay? 
But Take a second and think even

318
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:33,100
more detailed. 
What did that look like? 

319
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:38,900
Was it guilt put on you, or was 
there either of your parents or 

320
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:42,800
whoever took care of you growing
up acting as if money wasn't an 

321
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:47,300
issue when it was or whatever it
is think about the details of it

322
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:51,100
and think about the things that 
maybe your family Justified 

323
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:54,800
spending on, but other families 
didn't seem to justify or things

324
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,900
that you thought was really 
unfair, that you weren't allowed

325
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:59,500
to have. 
But other people were and how 

326
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:03,200
Parents values maybe didn't 
trickle down and translate to 

327
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,800
what your values were. 
Just take a second to do that 

328
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,700
doo-doo-doo 
doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. 

329
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:14,500
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo it, it, it 
it, okay, great. 

330
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,800
And we're back something I 
wanted to add about my money 

331
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:21,000
story that was not just about 
from where my parents were from 

332
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,700
and raised. 
In Hell, things were for them is

333
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:28,300
that I was raised in the church 
as well, and every church is 

334
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:31,200
different. 
Every religion and whatever is 

335
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,400
obviously different as well. 
And so I'm not going to say that

336
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,800
this is an overall statement 
that covers all people who have 

337
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:42,300
grown up in the church but for 
me I felt like money was 

338
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:46,300
something that was asked to be 
given often to the church and so

339
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:51,100
I always heard it being talked 
about as this really important 

340
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:54,700
valuable asset that should be 
used for good. 

341
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:59,500
So I had that influence and then
I also had the influence of 

342
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:04,599
Money being vilified and people 
who had may be nicer things are 

343
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:08,000
more expensive, things it being 
vilified because often within 

344
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,099
the church and this is our group
Pentecostal Christian to be 

345
00:17:11,099 --> 00:17:14,900
clear. 
It is seen as idolizing 

346
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,000
something. 
So when you idolize something 

347
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,200
it's like you see it as being 
really important and probably 

348
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:24,599
more important even than God and
so you would put money before 

349
00:17:24,599 --> 00:17:29,100
God you put your favorite singer
before God you put you know, 

350
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,800
wanting to Look cool with your 
friends before, God. 

351
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,000
It's usually the idea of 
idolizing, something is a bad 

352
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,200
thing in the church for sure. 
And so I really saw that money 

353
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:41,800
was something that people would 
see other people idolize and so 

354
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:46,200
you'd hear in different sermons 
them saying things like like, do

355
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:50,100
you need a beautiful car in a 
fancy? 

356
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:54,300
This and a fancy that to show 
that you are who you want to be 

357
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:58,100
or should it be the word of God 
like on your lips? 

358
00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,500
You know, sharing the word of 
God. 

359
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:02,600
People because there's so much 
more value in the word of God 

360
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:06,100
than there, is in money or 
whatever your idolizing. 

361
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,000
And so that was a really big 
influence for me as well, and 

362
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,800
that definitely ties into some 
of the things that I feel like I

363
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,700
have thought about money for the
longest time. 

364
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:18,700
Until I recently really dug into
it and started to unpack it. 

365
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,000
All right? 
Getting into it. 

366
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,800
Common issue. 
Number one that I have 

367
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:27,700
absolutely experienced is that I
feel like I don't deserve money 

368
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:31,300
growing up in the church. 
And especially, and I would say 

369
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:34,500
this also applies to people who 
just grew up with people who 

370
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,400
also potentially had this 
belief. 

371
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,000
So this isn't just for people 
who grew up conservative or 

372
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000
whatever. 
This is also people who grew up 

373
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,800
with similar messaging from the 
people, that raised them. 

374
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:50,200
I felt like I didn't deserve 
nice things, and if I didn't 

375
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,200
need, it wasn't necessary for 
me. 

376
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,500
This one, even came up over this
weekend. 

377
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,100
Like I said, like, for my 
birthday, I walked into that 

378
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:59,100
room, and I was like, I don't 
need this, this is too much. 

379
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,100
Oh, my God. 
This is, this is pretty good. 

380
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,500
I feel bad spending so much 
money. 

381
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:06,000
And again, I was even spending 
my own money, but I felt bad 

382
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,300
getting so much value and was 
like, I just don't need this, 

383
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:11,900
you know, I don't, I don't 
deserve it. 

384
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:16,100
And I think, especially in the 
church you grow up with this 

385
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:20,000
idea of well, no, you don't 
deserve anything, but God is 

386
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,700
going to gift. 
You all these things. 

387
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:25,300
Everything is a gift from God 
and you are not deserving of 

388
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,700
anything, but the only reason 
that you are getting things in 

389
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:31,100
life. 
At all is because God is 

390
00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:34,000
blessing you or, you know, day 
because Jesus died on the cross 

391
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,300
for you. 
And that was kind of like, the 

392
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,300
whole thing. 
And so I never felt like I was 

393
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:40,500
worthy. 
It's a common thing to say in 

394
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:43,300
the church, if you don't know 
those, it's a common thing to 

395
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:46,900
say, I am not worthy, you know, 
I'm not worthy of your love. 

396
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:50,300
Thank you so much for loving me.
God that's like a whole thing 

397
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:53,900
and so you repeat for your whole
life, a very long time at least 

398
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:58,700
for me like I'm not deserving. 
I am not worthy. 

399
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,300
You literally speak those things
over and over and over and then 

400
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:05,900
like the winning factor is that 
like you're worth it because of 

401
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,500
God. 
And so it's this whole thing and

402
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,300
I really had that one ingrained 
in me this thing that I don't 

403
00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:14,400
deserve it. 
And so, I think now I'm at a 

404
00:20:14,408 --> 00:20:18,300
place where I'm starting to feel
like I do deserve things. 

405
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,700
And I'm starting even saying 
that though, right now, if I'm 

406
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:24,500
being 100% honest, there's a 
little part in my, my chest, my 

407
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,400
stomach. 
I don't know. 

408
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:28,400
That feels like ocean. 
Say that can't be saying that 

409
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,100
can't be saying that it's It's 
real. 

410
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:33,400
It's very deeply ingrained but 
I'm a lot better now. 

411
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,400
When I have that feeling that 
tells me oh you shouldn't say 

412
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:42,000
that with being able to combat 
it and go, no, actually here's 

413
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:46,300
why I say it because I actually 
am deserving of say compensation

414
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:50,600
for my job because I'm a hard 
worker, or I am deserving of a 

415
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,400
good healthy, loving 
relationship, because I'm a good

416
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,800
partner and I'm willing to give 
as much as I receive is. 

417
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,100
Does that make sense? 
So I kind of go through this 

418
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:03,600
process We're even if I still 
have moments, where I'm say, 

419
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:08,800
triggered or I feel that ping of
like anxiety or even like 

420
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,500
imposter syndrome or you 
shouldn't be saying that almost 

421
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:15,200
like this this deeply ingrained 
fear-based belief. 

422
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:19,700
That feels like just this 
reflection not a reflection a 

423
00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:24,700
like instinct or a quick thing 
that pops into my mind, what the

424
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:30,400
work is in my opinion is 
figuring out how How you combat 

425
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,700
it in that moment, which I've 
talked many times on the podcast

426
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:37,100
about cognitive behavioral 
therapy CBT which is where you 

427
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:42,600
are, taking an idea, a belief, a
bad thought something that comes

428
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,500
up in your mind. 
And you're actually going 

429
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:46,900
through the process of 
journaling how to change that 

430
00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:50,200
belief, and how to move forward 
in a way where you've actually 

431
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:53,500
clarified, and you're working on
changing that belief. 

432
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,500
So, even if right now, the 
Pathways in my brain, when I 

433
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,200
say, I am deserving of 
something. 

434
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,400
Is negative and it goes, whoop. 
No, you're not. 

435
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:06,600
I'm actively redirecting. 
The thought to become a positive

436
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,800
thought and teach my brain to 
genuinely believe that I am 

437
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,600
deserving of something. 
So it's a lot of like mental 

438
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,900
gymnastics and I hope that 
didn't get to like confusing but

439
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:23,800
it's real and it's a real thing.
And I think for me to wait to 

440
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:27,600
make a podcast episode say about
this because I think, oh well 

441
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,400
I'm not perfect and I don't have
it figured out. 

442
00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:33,200
Out then I would never do it. 
I would never get there and it's

443
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,700
really about helping ourselves 
figure out, figuring out why we 

444
00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:39,800
feel the things that we feel and
then being able to change it 

445
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,200
into become something else. 
And then eventually, we actually

446
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,100
do become someone who's more 
open. 

447
00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:48,900
It doesn't feel that shame or 
feel that disbelief, or that 

448
00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:51,500
fear or whatever, because we've 
actually worked on it and we've 

449
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:55,000
healed that part of our brain. 
Next another, really, common 

450
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,100
thing that's discussed around 
money is that money makes me 

451
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:01,200
anxious. 
Money makes me anxious. 

452
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,800
It's something that I've heard 
so many people say and I have 

453
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,300
absolutely related to at many 
times. 

454
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:11,500
I'm naturally a pretty anxious 
person, or I tend to go that 

455
00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:14,200
way. 
If I don't keep it in check and 

456
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:18,400
I find money causing anxiety, 
usually comes from either having

457
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,400
a lack of money, which is 
obvious in definitely something.

458
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,700
I've experienced being in 
college and eating two-minute 

459
00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:30,400
noodles, not a good time or not.
Knowing what's Going on with my 

460
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,300
money, kind of like a lack of 
self-awareness or feeling a bit 

461
00:23:34,300 --> 00:23:36,800
out of control. 
Because I just didn't have the 

462
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,100
knowledge to understand how, 
like budgeting works or even to 

463
00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:45,000
really understand how what I 
have incoming, and what I have 

464
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,500
outgoing works, and like, what 
money I actually need if that 

465
00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:50,200
makes sense. 
I just like, didn't really have 

466
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,800
enough awareness around what was
going on and would be surprised 

467
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:58,100
when I came up really short, or 
I just felt like I didn't have a

468
00:23:58,100 --> 00:24:01,100
plan and Money. 
Just felt so Random. 

469
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,800
It felt like this thing that 
like, how could I even track it?

470
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,000
How could I even budget? 
That's so ridiculous. 

471
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,500
Because every month is so 
different. 

472
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:11,600
I felt like I was very lost with
money and so anxiety is a big 

473
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,500
one and I know you're thinking 
Alyssa, why don't you just get 

474
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:17,400
more money? 
Get your money up, bitch. 

475
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,700
Look, it's not always that easy,
okay? 

476
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:24,000
It's not always that easy. 
And I think when people look at 

477
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,400
people and see them in their 
situations of not having a lot 

478
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,400
of money, often the response, 
Ponce is like, well, you should 

479
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,600
have worked harder, you should 
have, you know, everyone has 

480
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:37,700
access to just be able to go and
get a basic job that anyone can 

481
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:41,900
do like Hospitality or I don't 
know, working in retailers a 

482
00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:44,500
very like basic job, you don't 
even need to have any kind of 

483
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,400
schooling, any kind of blah 
blah. 

484
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,700
And I will say that I absolutely
did have access to this. 

485
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,800
I am privileged very privileged 
to have had access to that from 

486
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,500
the age. 
I could work, but not everybody 

487
00:24:57,500 --> 00:25:00,100
does and I think it's really 
important just A little side, 

488
00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:03,600
note that if you do, see, people
really struggling with money or 

489
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:08,000
complaining about money or you 
view people who are experiencing

490
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,000
homelessness as people who 
probably should just work a 

491
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,900
little bit harder or who could 
probably do more if they tried 

492
00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:20,900
that is very close-minded and 
very privileged mindset to have 

493
00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:24,000
and I'm sure you are amazing and
you don't have that mindset, but

494
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,000
I just think it's really 
important to point out because I

495
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,400
still hear that narrative. 
Very often and people acting as 

496
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:36,000
if everybody has the same 
opportunity that they have when 

497
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,300
they don't. 
And you might be thinking, oh, 

498
00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:40,800
well, on a basic level. 
Yes, they have the opportunity, 

499
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:43,900
but there are so many things 
that stop people from being able

500
00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:49,100
to get a job like not having a 
consistent home address or 

501
00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:53,100
having to do things in the time 
that they would be going to that

502
00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:57,300
job, like caring for a child or 
a parent or a loved one or 

503
00:25:57,300 --> 00:26:00,300
something like that. 
Even things like Purchasing a 

504
00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:05,200
uniform getting transport to a 
job struggling with your mental 

505
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,900
health and not being able to 
commit consistently to a job 

506
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:12,400
that requires you to be there 
and be present, even people 

507
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,400
struggling with addiction. 
Like, there are so many things 

508
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,500
and that can happen at any stage
of somebody's life, no matter 

509
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:21,200
where they're at. 
And so I think it's just really 

510
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,000
important that we recognize that
as much as you might be a really

511
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,800
hard worker and you have been 
able to do really well for 

512
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,900
yourself and a lot of areas. 
Not everyone has Has that 

513
00:26:29,900 --> 00:26:31,800
ability. 
And so if money makes you 

514
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:35,700
anxious, because there are other
things that come into it, like I

515
00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:39,800
have to pay for my health 
because I need this medication 

516
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,600
or psychology, like, 
psychologists counseling, 

517
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,300
whatever therapy to keep me 
healthy. 

518
00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:49,300
I need money for these things 
that maybe other people don't 

519
00:26:49,300 --> 00:26:51,400
need money for. 
Then, I definitely just want to 

520
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,700
acknowledge that and recognize 
that, because, as much as I 

521
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:57,800
haven't had that experience 
other than mental health, 

522
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:03,300
really, it is very Real and my 
only really example of this from

523
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:06,000
my life, personally, which I'm 
very blessed to be able to say 

524
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,800
this. 
But my only experience of this 

525
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,300
is when I was in college, I was 
at Hillsong College, which you 

526
00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:14,300
guys should know by now, because
I'll be talking shit. 

527
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:19,100
All the time about it was a 
Hillsong college and I was 

528
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:22,400
giving so much of my time and 
money and effort to the church 

529
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:26,600
that I was personally, like, 
really struggling and I was 

530
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,300
trying to work as much as I 
could in a restaurant. 

531
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,800
And I'm like, running around up 
until 1 a.m. at this restaurant 

532
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,000
and getting up the next morning 
to go to church at like five am 

533
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,600
crazy stupid shit that I was 
doing back. 

534
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:43,700
Then it was really hard because 
I also needed to pay to go see a

535
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:47,000
counselor because I was really 
struggling and I didn't at the 

536
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,400
time I couldn't blame it on the 
church because I didn't know 

537
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:53,400
that it was a lot of that. 
Like obviously you know it's not

538
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,300
just circumstantial but a lot of
it was being triggered by a lot 

539
00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:57,400
of things going on in the 
church. 

540
00:27:58,300 --> 00:28:00,800
I was really struggling and 
Remember there is one week where

541
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:05,600
I was like having multiple panic
attacks, just I was like I can't

542
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,400
work. 
I literally can't work. 

543
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:09,900
I can't like, I don't know what 
to do. 

544
00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:12,400
I couldn't go into a shift. 
I felt like I was going to cry 

545
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,400
at any second. 
I felt like what happens if I 

546
00:28:15,408 --> 00:28:18,500
have an anxiety attack when I'm 
at work that like, I felt, you 

547
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:21,700
know, that is embarrassing or 
what if they think that I'm not 

548
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:24,100
going to be a good person to 
come into work and so they 

549
00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:27,900
stopped giving me shifts. 
Like, I felt really at risk, I 

550
00:28:27,908 --> 00:28:30,100
think in that moment and I Amber
Sam. 

551
00:28:30,100 --> 00:28:33,300
Who at the time was my 
boyfriend, like, offering to pay

552
00:28:33,300 --> 00:28:36,400
for my rent that week and I felt
so guilty and I was like, no, 

553
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,700
you can't do that. 
Like, please, I don't want that.

554
00:28:38,700 --> 00:28:42,100
And I think he actually did end 
up paying, for my rent that 

555
00:28:42,100 --> 00:28:46,100
week, which was like a huge deal
to me because even accepting was

556
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:49,800
like, $200 at the time for $250,
I felt terrible for even doing 

557
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,700
that. 
But it was, it was really scary.

558
00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:58,300
It was, I felt very defeated and
then the anxiety of not having 

559
00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:01,600
money because I felt like Don't 
work made my anxiety so much 

560
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,800
worse, and it was just a 
horrible Loop and so I'm so 

561
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,900
grateful to not be there 
anymore. 

562
00:29:06,900 --> 00:29:11,800
But even now, I'm so grateful 
that I get to do content 

563
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:15,700
creation as my full-time job. 
Because if I wake up one day and

564
00:29:15,700 --> 00:29:19,300
I really am not feeling well, 
for whatever reason I'm able to 

565
00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:21,700
adapt. 
Whereas even when I was teaching

566
00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:25,600
Pilates, less than six months 
ago, I would have so many days 

567
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:29,100
when I would wake up and I would
be like, so anxious to teach for

568
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,800
I'm reason just being in front 
of people didn't feel good, 

569
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,800
maybe like some PMS before my 
period because I was kind of 

570
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,100
struggling with that a little 
bit and I would just be like, 

571
00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:40,900
this is fucked. 
I can't believe this. 

572
00:29:40,900 --> 00:29:42,400
This is fucked. 
I can't believe I'm going in 

573
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,900
right now or I would cancel work
and then I would feel like a bad

574
00:29:45,900 --> 00:29:47,700
person going not going to work, 
you know? 

575
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:52,100
So is it is a whole thing and 
you might have specific reasons 

576
00:29:52,100 --> 00:29:54,300
as to why you might be anxious 
around money. 

577
00:29:54,300 --> 00:29:56,500
And again I just want to 
acknowledge that because I think

578
00:29:56,500 --> 00:30:00,200
we've all had certain scenarios 
where we felt that And it's not 

579
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:03,600
just, oh, I'm anxious. 
Because like I just want to have

580
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,000
enough money to like save so I 
can like go shopping. 

581
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,200
Like, no, it's like survival. 
Okay. 

582
00:30:09,700 --> 00:30:13,500
Another belief is that wanting 
money is shallow and 

583
00:30:13,500 --> 00:30:17,200
self-centered in, this is one 
that I had to break down so 

584
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,300
much. 
And you know what, when I first 

585
00:30:20,300 --> 00:30:24,500
moved to Australia, when I would
go shopping, say for clothing, I

586
00:30:24,500 --> 00:30:26,600
would look at $100 and I would 
go. 

587
00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:29,200
That's a lot of money. 
I can get say 5. 

588
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,700
I've t-shirts with that, I can 
get five or six or even seven 

589
00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:34,800
maybe shirts and like little 
crop tops. 

590
00:30:34,900 --> 00:30:37,600
So, I would think, okay, I'm 
getting this amount of items, 

591
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,100
I'm getting more items, so I'm 
gonna go and get, like, six 

592
00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:46,100
shirts even if I really needed 
pants, even if I really needed a

593
00:30:46,100 --> 00:30:49,300
jacket. 
In my mind, I felt like quantity

594
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:52,500
was better over quality. 
And with a lot of things in my 

595
00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:56,200
life, I would go for quantity, 
like, even food. 

596
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,200
I don't know, everything like 
home decor. 

597
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,900
In everything that I wanted in 
my life. 

598
00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:05,100
I wanted quantity because I 
thought that that was valuable. 

599
00:31:05,300 --> 00:31:09,400
And now I've moved into a space 
of seeing quality as being 

600
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:13,300
better but at one point, I used 
to feel sick to my stomach at 

601
00:31:13,300 --> 00:31:17,500
the idea of spending like a 
hundred dollars on a really nice

602
00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:21,500
t-shirt, which still again, that
is a lot of money. 

603
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:24,100
It is, it is a lot of money for 
a t-shirt. 

604
00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:24,800
Okay? 
It is. 

605
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,500
And I get that. 
But when I start to look at the,

606
00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:31,300
where's that? 
I Actually get out of it and the

607
00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:34,300
way that it actually fits my 
body and makes me feel confident

608
00:31:34,300 --> 00:31:36,800
leaving the house. 
Like the way that it's not going

609
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,400
to break apart or get like all 
Bali like the way that it's 

610
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,300
going to be a good quality 
product, then I was able to 

611
00:31:44,300 --> 00:31:48,000
start to justify it over time 
and that doesn't mean oh great. 

612
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,600
Now I'm going to start spending 
five times the amount that I 

613
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:53,600
spent before instead of twenty 
dollars in spending $100, it's 

614
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:57,800
not that it's that you shop that
much less and you get less 

615
00:31:57,900 --> 00:31:59,300
items, but you get higher 
quality. 

616
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,600
The end, that's something that I
have changed over time. 

617
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,700
And it's funny that at one 
point. 

618
00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:06,800
My mindset was so stuck on a 
hundred dollars for teacher. 

619
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,100
That's crazy. 
That's fucked, that's fine. 

620
00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:11,100
Who's gonna spend that? 
That's ridiculous. 

621
00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:15,200
Sam and I used to fight about 
this, because Sam loves clothes,

622
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,700
he loves it. 
And the reason Sam is coming up 

623
00:32:17,700 --> 00:32:21,400
a lot in this episode, is 
because we have all of our money

624
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,400
together. 
And so, if you guys want to hear

625
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,500
more about that than I can 
absolutely make an episode on 

626
00:32:25,500 --> 00:32:28,700
that or him, and I can do it 
together but we have all of our 

627
00:32:28,700 --> 00:32:30,600
money together. 
And we've done that ever, since 

628
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,900
we like moved in together and 
got married. 

629
00:32:34,900 --> 00:32:39,500
So, yeah, we put everything 
together and I used to be like, 

630
00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:42,900
well, you're not justifying it, 
why are you not justifying to me

631
00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:44,900
why that's necessary a hundred 
dollars for a t-shirt? 

632
00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:47,500
That's insane. 
You need to justify it because 

633
00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:52,700
my mom wanted me to justify my 
expenses growing up and he just 

634
00:32:52,700 --> 00:32:54,700
didn't think that way. 
He thought well life is too 

635
00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:57,500
short who gives a fuck get what 
you want and I would be 

636
00:32:57,500 --> 00:33:00,600
thinking, what do you mean? 
Here's the self-discipline and 

637
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:04,700
so it's so funny that being with
somebody who thinks differently 

638
00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:08,100
than you can really like we 
would fight over the stuff. 

639
00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:12,100
You guys have no idea you fight 
but then you also like really 

640
00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:15,300
help each other and you teach 
each other and you can come to 

641
00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:19,200
really healthy middle grounds 
because you have all the data 

642
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,000
from one side, like one whole 
family, that does things a whole

643
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,100
certain way and then you have 
all the data from the other side

644
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,300
and then you can kind of come 
together and create like a 

645
00:33:28,300 --> 00:33:31,000
version that That works for both
of you and it's just 

646
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,700
interesting. 
Everyone is so different, but I 

647
00:33:32,700 --> 00:33:36,700
think that one is so important 
because wanting money in 

648
00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:40,600
reality, you know, wanting 
things that are of quality is 

649
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:44,600
not shallow. 
I, I now see wanting things of 

650
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:49,400
quality as being like, smarter 
financially and instead of 

651
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:53,300
coming from this mindset, that 
is like less-developed. 

652
00:33:53,300 --> 00:33:56,000
That's just, like, oh, that's 
too much, or that's not 

653
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,200
necessary, or who you trying to 
be like, what do you do? 

654
00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:00,800
Prove or who you trying to look 
good for. 

655
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,600
You know this isn't a fashion 
show that kind of thing that 

656
00:34:03,608 --> 00:34:07,500
very negative mindset of seeing 
something that is of quality 

657
00:34:07,500 --> 00:34:11,800
being too expensive and 
unnecessary taking that and 

658
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:15,100
going, okay? 
But is the use going to make it 

659
00:34:15,100 --> 00:34:18,800
worth it and is you know, the 
experience going to be worth it 

660
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,699
and starting to open up that 
mindset and finding that in 

661
00:34:21,699 --> 00:34:23,199
between where you're actually 
going. 

662
00:34:23,199 --> 00:34:27,400
I can justify it. 
We don't always have to but I 

663
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,100
can personally justify it so 
that I Can feel like I'm making 

664
00:34:30,100 --> 00:34:33,199
a responsible choice and go. 
Okay, this thing is actually 

665
00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:35,699
worth my money and so that's 
something that I've had to grow 

666
00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:38,300
in a lot. 
I think is really interesting 

667
00:34:38,300 --> 00:34:40,900
and something that a lot of 
people don't realize that they 

668
00:34:40,900 --> 00:34:45,199
think that way and they just are
quick to say all that stupid. 

669
00:34:45,199 --> 00:34:46,900
That's dumb. 
That's unnecessary. 

670
00:34:47,100 --> 00:34:49,699
But then with you actually dig 
into it, it's like well maybe it

671
00:34:49,699 --> 00:34:54,100
is great, maybe it is worth it. 
I used to look at people who 

672
00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:58,200
wore even like designer clothing
which is often I'm not always 

673
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:02,200
but is often Better quality than
something that you're going to 

674
00:35:02,207 --> 00:35:06,600
go buy at your local fucking 
Walmart or Kmart or whatever I 

675
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:10,100
would look at that and be like 
hmm they're probably the 

676
00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:12,700
probably really low self-esteem,
you know they're probably trying

677
00:35:12,700 --> 00:35:15,200
to prove something and I used to
see it. 

678
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,800
So close-minded Lee, I think 
because I didn't have access to 

679
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,400
those kinds of clothes. 
I don't have access to it so I 

680
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:24,500
would go, oh, I don't need that.
But why do they need it? 

681
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,800
But the point is that maybe they
don't quote need it. 

682
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,000
Maybe they're just able To get 
it. 

683
00:35:30,100 --> 00:35:33,600
It makes them feel happy and 
good in their body and they see 

684
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,900
the value in it because it's 
actually going to last them a 

685
00:35:35,908 --> 00:35:39,100
lot longer than something that 
they're going to buy at Kmart 

686
00:35:39,100 --> 00:35:42,500
and maybe get five washes out of
and then potentially have to get

687
00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:44,100
rid of. 
And, hey, I'm not saying that 

688
00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:46,700
all the Kmart stuff is bad 
because these slippers right 

689
00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:50,100
here, are from Kmart. 
So I'm not, I'm not dissing 

690
00:35:50,100 --> 00:35:53,500
Kmart, we love Kmart but all I'm
saying is that it's really 

691
00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:56,000
important that we start to dig 
into these little mindsets that 

692
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,200
we have. 
That we probably don't even 

693
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:58,500
realize. 
We have that, we could have 

694
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:02,400
picked From our grumpy ass 
father, or are crazy mother or 

695
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:04,200
whoever? 
That's so mean, that was a joke 

696
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,700
and my parents are not like that
at all. 

697
00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:08,200
All I'm saying is that we could 
have picked these things up from

698
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:12,700
people without realizing it and 
as we grow and we actually 

699
00:36:12,700 --> 00:36:15,000
become the people that we want 
to become. 

700
00:36:15,100 --> 00:36:17,100
We can start to go. 
Oh, wow. 

701
00:36:17,100 --> 00:36:19,100
I actually don't want to believe
that. 

702
00:36:19,100 --> 00:36:21,200
I don't want to think that way. 
I don't want to be so 

703
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:22,800
pessimistic. 
I actually want to be 

704
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,300
open-minded and be empathetic 
and understanding towards, why 

705
00:36:26,300 --> 00:36:28,800
people think the way they think 
and why people spend the money 

706
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,100
the way, the They spend their 
money and last but not least, 

707
00:36:31,100 --> 00:36:34,500
I'm bad with money, is a really 
commonly said thing, and I think

708
00:36:34,500 --> 00:36:38,500
this tends to come from making 
emotional choices when it comes 

709
00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:41,200
to money. 
Like going out of your way to 

710
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,000
get something, when you are 
feeling, like you are down. 

711
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,400
And I think this happens to a 
certain extent and it's fine to 

712
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,900
have those moments where you're 
like, I just want a little pick 

713
00:36:49,900 --> 00:36:52,500
me up, maybe that's like a 
little ubereats moment, or 

714
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:55,400
that's just wanting to get 
something for you to enjoy. 

715
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:58,200
And I think that's fine to a 
certain extent, but when it 

716
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,400
becomes something that is, 
Assistant and unhealthy, it's 

717
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,400
definitely something that is 
worth working on and figuring 

718
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,800
out why that is your crutch. 
And why that's the thing that 

719
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,600
you go to. 
Maybe you saw this as you grew 

720
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,500
up and you saw someone doing 
this. 

721
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,600
And it's something that we don't
want to be doing consistently, 

722
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,100
because obviously it ends up 
being taxing on us. 

723
00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:19,600
So, the things that we do value,
we want to spend money on. 

724
00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:21,900
We then don't have the money to 
spend on it. 

725
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,000
Now, I want to talk really 
quickly about budgeting and how 

726
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,500
I was able to go from a place 
of, really not understanding 

727
00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:30,800
what was happening. 
With my money to then moving 

728
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,500
into a place of feeling. 
Like I understand my money and 

729
00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:38,300
I'm able to see my budget at 
least in my head and also now on

730
00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:41,100
paper and on a spreadsheet in a 
way that makes sense for me. 

731
00:37:41,100 --> 00:37:45,000
So I'm able to have a hold on my
life financially, something that

732
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,300
I did. 
When I first tried to figure out

733
00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:50,400
how to budget was, I literally 
pulled out a piece of paper and 

734
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:53,600
I started writing down. 
Okay, this is my incoming and 

735
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,000
this is my outgoing. 
So this is your take home 

736
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,900
homework that you are going to 
do if you are Feeling like you 

737
00:37:59,900 --> 00:38:02,800
don't have a hold on your life 
financially, this is how you're 

738
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:06,100
going to start to understand how
your money works. 

739
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,900
There's two things here that you
can do specifically. 

740
00:38:08,900 --> 00:38:13,100
So, the first one is taking what
you currently spend. 

741
00:38:13,100 --> 00:38:15,800
Looking at maybe use one card 
all the time, maybe it's 

742
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,500
multiple. 
But if it is one, then going 

743
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:22,100
through and actually printing 
out your statement from the last

744
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:24,500
month you can do two months. 
You know how much time that you 

745
00:38:24,500 --> 00:38:27,200
think you need to have an 
accurate representation of how 

746
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:31,900
much money you spent? 
And go through and highlight all

747
00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:35,800
of the things that are necessary
expenses with one color and then

748
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,900
highlighting with the other 
color, all of the things that 

749
00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:42,500
were just choices that you made.
So going out to eat all of the 

750
00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:45,000
fun stuff, everything that you 
purchase that is like, okay, I 

751
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,900
didn't absolutely need to spend 
that. 

752
00:38:47,900 --> 00:38:52,200
If I wanted to prioritize that 
money in a different way, this 

753
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,100
is very enlightening because it 
will make you go. 

754
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:57,200
Whoa. 
Oh, I spend a lot of money on 

755
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,700
this thing and I had no idea. 
And if I cut that, that actually

756
00:39:00,700 --> 00:39:04,200
means that I could potentially 
save an extra, maybe $20 a week,

757
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,200
maybe a hundred dollars a week 
and that can be a huge shock. 

758
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,100
And something that I think we 
should all be aware of, 

759
00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:11,800
especially if you haven't done 
anything like this before, the 

760
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,100
second thing that you can do is 
to look at creating a budget and

761
00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:18,500
that can be very scary, but this
can be a very quick practice 

762
00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:20,000
that doesn't need to take a long
time. 

763
00:39:20,100 --> 00:39:22,100
So first of all you there's two 
parts of it. 

764
00:39:22,100 --> 00:39:24,600
There's your incoming and your 
outgoing incomings. 

765
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,900
More simple. 
So maybe you have one job. 

766
00:39:26,900 --> 00:39:29,000
You have one stream of income 
writing down. 

767
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:33,400
On roughly, how much that comes 
in every week or bi-weekly? 

768
00:39:33,700 --> 00:39:35,900
I like to do it based off my pay
schedule. 

769
00:39:35,900 --> 00:39:38,300
So I used to do it based off 
weekly. 

770
00:39:38,500 --> 00:39:42,400
When I was paid weekly working 
at a restaurant, then I started 

771
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,100
being paid bi-weekly when I 
worked at a pilates studio. 

772
00:39:45,100 --> 00:39:47,500
So then my budget with more of a
biweekly thing. 

773
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:51,600
And now it is kind of more of 
like a monthly thing because I 

774
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,400
freelance and I don't have 
consistent income at all. 

775
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,200
Some months are really great. 
Some months, I'm making very 

776
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,500
little money less. 
I used to make at the restaurant

777
00:40:00,500 --> 00:40:03,900
and so it depends on what's 
happening in my life, but it can

778
00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:07,500
be different depending on who 
you are in your scenario. 

779
00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:10,500
So think about how you want to 
do it, whether you want to do it

780
00:40:10,508 --> 00:40:12,300
in one week or a month or 
whatever makes sense. 

781
00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:15,600
For you write down all of your 
incoming, maybe there's multiple

782
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:19,000
streams, whatever it is, write 
it down and then you want to go 

783
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,500
over to outgoing. 
So outgoing, you're going to 

784
00:40:21,500 --> 00:40:24,000
start with all the things that 
are absolutely necessary. 

785
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,800
This is your bills. 
This is your rent. 

786
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:27,400
This is your phone bill. 
This is your car. 

787
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,000
This is whatever is like a 
assistant thing that you 

788
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:33,000
absolutely need. 
Maybe you fill up your gas tank 

789
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,600
once a week and that's 90 
dollars or whatever it is. 

790
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,700
So then you write that down, you
write down how much you need to 

791
00:40:38,707 --> 00:40:40,100
spend. 
Obviously if it's if you're 

792
00:40:40,100 --> 00:40:43,000
doing it in a month you want to 
then multiply that Weekly 

793
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,500
expense by for. 
You are smart. 

794
00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:48,400
I know you know that but you 
know, break it up, figure it 

795
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,600
out. 
You have the things that you 

796
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,800
absolutely need to pay for, and 
then you have the things that 

797
00:40:53,300 --> 00:40:57,000
are consistent, spend like 
consistent naturally, like 

798
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:01,000
always comes out, but isn't 
Necessary 100% necessary. 

799
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,500
So that's going to be things 
like Netflix, any kind of like 

800
00:41:04,500 --> 00:41:07,900
apps that you maybe pay for with
like Sam there's like certain 

801
00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:10,900
music things that he needs. 
I don't really know how it works

802
00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:13,600
but like certain like plug-ins 
for music, I don't know. 

803
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,300
So there are certain things like
that. 

804
00:41:15,300 --> 00:41:18,300
That it's like, okay, in theory,
he doesn't need them but we 

805
00:41:18,300 --> 00:41:21,100
prioritize it. 
We know it's necessary for me 

806
00:41:21,100 --> 00:41:24,200
there certain like editing apps.
Like I use like a splice, which 

807
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:28,500
is an editing app and just extra
storage on my phone. 

808
00:41:28,500 --> 00:41:30,900
So there's Those kind of 
consistent ones that are 

809
00:41:30,900 --> 00:41:33,600
somewhere in between a need and 
a want. 

810
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:37,600
If you will, there's that 
section because potentially you 

811
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,800
might actually go back to the 
section and take something out. 

812
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:43,700
Like if you can think, okay, I 
can actually not choose to pay 

813
00:41:43,700 --> 00:41:46,200
for Netflix this month, and that
means that I'm gonna be able to 

814
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:47,800
save XYZ. 
Maybe that's going to be 

815
00:41:47,808 --> 00:41:49,800
something that you want to do 
depending on how much you value 

816
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:50,800
Netflix. 
Right? 

817
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:54,300
And then going forward, we have 
all the things that are more so 

818
00:41:54,300 --> 00:41:58,200
want. 
So then we have eating out and 

819
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:03,300
buying And anything that is fun.
Going out with friends, like, 

820
00:42:03,300 --> 00:42:06,100
not just fun, but things that 
are, you know, a choice that 

821
00:42:06,100 --> 00:42:08,600
you're going to be spending on. 
And so, that's where we want to 

822
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,800
talk about, figuring out your 
values. 

823
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,100
This is the exciting part in. 
This is the part that takes more

824
00:42:13,100 --> 00:42:16,200
self reflection as well, because
your values are going to be 

825
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,400
different person to person in 
there, is nothing wrong with 

826
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,200
having a value that might not 
seem like a value to somebody 

827
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,400
else. 
If for you beauty is a priority 

828
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,200
getting your hair done, getting 
your nails done, being able to 

829
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:31,600
spend x amount Of money on like 
new makeup, products or whatever

830
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,700
every single month, then that's 
totally fine by the way. 

831
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:38,500
And I think, for a while, I felt
a little bit dumb being like, 

832
00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:41,700
Oh, putting my nails in my 
budget, that's so stupid if I'm 

833
00:42:41,700 --> 00:42:45,000
gonna do that shit. 
Anyways, then who am I like, 

834
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,000
what am I doing? 
I'm wasting my time. 

835
00:42:47,100 --> 00:42:49,600
If I'm not going to just put it 
in the budget and acknowledge 

836
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,800
that, that is something that I 
want to spend money on, and if 

837
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,600
you're sitting there going, 
well, that's a bit dumb, that's 

838
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,500
not necessary. 
I've been really wanting to 

839
00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:57,600
spend money to travel. 
Why am I getting my nails done? 

840
00:42:57,700 --> 00:42:59,700
Perfect? 
Then you can That and see. 

841
00:42:59,700 --> 00:43:02,700
Maybe I actually want to 
sacrifice this expense that I 

842
00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:05,900
have been spending recently and 
not even realizing that that's 

843
00:43:05,900 --> 00:43:07,800
actually pretty expensive and 
maybe that's something I 

844
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,700
actually want to get rid of. 
And so, what I would encourage 

845
00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:12,500
you to do at this point is sit 
down and think about what your 

846
00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:15,900
True Values are when it comes to
money and where you want to 

847
00:43:15,900 --> 00:43:19,400
spend, to be able to have fun. 
Maybe you actually are, okay? 

848
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:22,500
With every time you go out with 
your friends, not drinking 

849
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:24,900
because maybe you also want to 
work on your relationship with 

850
00:43:24,900 --> 00:43:27,500
alcohol and you've decided, you 
know what, I'm not going to 

851
00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:29,600
drink at all this month, and 
that's probably We actually 

852
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:33,100
going to save me, potentially a 
few hundred dollars or even just

853
00:43:33,100 --> 00:43:36,300
a hundred dollars because, you 
know, five cocktails 20 bucks 

854
00:43:36,300 --> 00:43:38,800
each. 
That's it, 100 bucks right there

855
00:43:38,900 --> 00:43:41,500
and you probably don't realize 
that until you step back and you

856
00:43:41,500 --> 00:43:43,300
go. 
Whoa, that's actually a lot of 

857
00:43:43,300 --> 00:43:46,200
money and a lot of people don't 
realize what they spend their 

858
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:47,800
money on. 
So that is what I was encourage 

859
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,700
you to do is figure out your 
values and where you want to 

860
00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:53,100
start to place money. 
After you have a bit of a 

861
00:43:53,100 --> 00:43:57,000
budget, you can go in as depth 
as you want. 

862
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,000
You can get really specific, you
can go. 

863
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,800
To like date night or however 
many times you want to be going 

864
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,200
out per month or how much you 
would love to be putting towards

865
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:09,200
a trip, if you are planning a 
trip for a certain time and you 

866
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,600
know you need say two thousand 
dollars for this trip, okay? 

867
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,700
If that trip is in 4 months that
means I need $500 a month, okay?

868
00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:17,500
That's a lot of mice. 
Then you have to figure out K 

869
00:44:17,500 --> 00:44:20,000
per week. 
That's more than $100 a week, 

870
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:21,400
okay? 
What am I spending? 

871
00:44:21,500 --> 00:44:25,100
Maybe $100 or even a little bit 
more on per week and then you 

872
00:44:25,100 --> 00:44:29,000
start to break it down that way,
and it starts to feel a lot more

873
00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,000
Practical, something you're 
actually able to do. 

874
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:35,600
And like I said, I use up bank, 
which is a great, great app for 

875
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,100
saving money. 
And so I have all these little 

876
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:39,200
Savers. 
And so, maybe I get paid and I 

877
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:43,500
go, okay, this money's going to 
rent, I know in my mind that per

878
00:44:43,500 --> 00:44:46,600
week, say, I would make, let's 
say it's a thousand dollars to 

879
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,900
make it easy, Sam, make a 
thousand dollars in a week, I 

880
00:44:48,900 --> 00:44:49,400
could go. 
Okay. 

881
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,200
I need to put, maybe these are 
not accurate numbers by the way,

882
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,700
but Sam putting four hundred 
dollars towards rent. 

883
00:44:54,800 --> 00:45:00,200
I have $100 towards bills. 
I have $100 towards like Food in

884
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:01,800
that. 
I have these extra hundred 

885
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,600
dollars for little things, I 
need to buy in the break it 

886
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:05,600
down, and then you go. 
Okay. 

887
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,900
And now I can save $100 and I 
can use this hundred dollars for

888
00:45:09,900 --> 00:45:12,200
putting two words Beauty. 
And while the things that I 

889
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,300
value, right? 
So you start to break it down 

890
00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:16,000
and it makes more sense in your 
mind. 

891
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,900
So if you're having these 
moments of frustration you're 

892
00:45:17,900 --> 00:45:19,600
like, hmm, I really want to get 
my nails done. 

893
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:21,600
I hate that. 
I don't have money then you can 

894
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:22,200
go. 
Oh no. 

895
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:23,800
But you know what? 
I'm actually prioritizing this 

896
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,400
trip and you can like 
rationalize it and it feels 

897
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,500
better to know what's going on 
with your money. 

898
00:45:28,500 --> 00:45:30,800
And I think it's Much more 
empowering and then that 

899
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:34,000
anxiety, when you're sat there, 
getting your hair done and 

900
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,700
you're going, oh my God, this is
so expensive. 

901
00:45:35,700 --> 00:45:37,800
This is too much. 
I don't need this, you can go. 

902
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,100
No, but I budgeted for it. 
So I don't have to feel bad 

903
00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:42,600
spending this money because I 
know that it lines with my 

904
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,100
values. 
Does that make sense? 

905
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,400
So I think that really helps me 
and when I started to break it 

906
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,000
down, I first did on paper just 
because I wanted to get very 

907
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:57,400
like just, you know, just very 
like basic very like bottom 

908
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:01,000
level figure it out and Then I 
went from there to creating, 

909
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,700
like a spreadsheet and I use 
like Google Sheets and I like 

910
00:46:03,700 --> 00:46:06,600
will write it out. 
And so I've seen people where 

911
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,500
they have such such such 
detailed budgets to the point 

912
00:46:10,500 --> 00:46:13,400
that it's like to the dollar and
I'll see people who will just do

913
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,300
it, very roughly, but you need 
to do. 

914
00:46:15,300 --> 00:46:17,600
Whatever is going to make you 
feel most empowered. 

915
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:19,700
So you can actually make choices
for your money that make you 

916
00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:22,300
feel really good. 
I should say, as well, one last 

917
00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:27,500
thing that money kind of comes 
and goes and it comes in certain

918
00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:31,400
Seasons more so maybe EU work 
more over summer and then you 

919
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,500
save some money and then as you 
go back into school or whatever 

920
00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:37,700
you're doing, then you have a 
little bit less but you can use 

921
00:46:37,700 --> 00:46:40,300
that savings that you had from 
your summer or maybe you just 

922
00:46:40,300 --> 00:46:42,200
want to have a really fun summer
and you want to make a bunch of 

923
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,400
money and spend a lot of money. 
And then you want to go back to 

924
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,700
your poor student lifestyle. 
When you're back in school, and 

925
00:46:46,700 --> 00:46:49,100
that's totally fucking fine. 
You do whatever you want to do, 

926
00:46:49,100 --> 00:46:50,900
was ever going to make you 
what's going to make you feel 

927
00:46:50,900 --> 00:46:56,100
good in your situation and try 
to anticipate any kind of like 

928
00:46:56,100 --> 00:46:58,300
anxiety that you might have 
towards your money so that 

929
00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:00,300
you're able to. 
Be prepared and feel good. 

930
00:47:00,300 --> 00:47:03,100
Once you have a bit of a budget 
going, then you can kind of 

931
00:47:03,100 --> 00:47:05,800
revised, you know, the next 
month you can sit down and go. 

932
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,900
Okay, I ran out of money a lot 
quicker than I thought. 

933
00:47:08,908 --> 00:47:12,500
I was going to when it came to 
groceries or when it came to 

934
00:47:12,500 --> 00:47:16,100
wanting to buy extra things. 
I didn't realize how much I shop

935
00:47:16,100 --> 00:47:19,100
or whatever it is then you kind 
of can sit there and you can go 

936
00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:22,700
okay well I do actually need an 
extra hundred dollars for this 

937
00:47:22,700 --> 00:47:26,800
thing that might need to come 
out of beauty a little bit and 

938
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:28,600
maybe 50 will come out of Beauty
&. 

939
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,300
He will come out of savings for 
travel or 20 + 20 + 20 + 20 will

940
00:47:32,300 --> 00:47:34,100
come out and you see him saying 
you kind of start to break it 

941
00:47:34,100 --> 00:47:37,500
down and it all starts to make 
sense. 

942
00:47:37,700 --> 00:47:41,500
And you feel like you really are
leading your life in a way that 

943
00:47:41,500 --> 00:47:44,000
it doesn't just feel random. 
It's not like, oh no what if 

944
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,300
this random expense comes out? 
What if this thing randomly 

945
00:47:46,300 --> 00:47:49,000
happens, it doesn't have to feel
like every time, you're bringing

946
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,100
it down right to the Dollar by 
the time, right? 

947
00:47:51,100 --> 00:47:54,300
Before you get paid, it makes 
sense and you are feeling like 

948
00:47:54,300 --> 00:47:57,900
you're living in abundance. 
And then the more you create 

949
00:47:57,900 --> 00:48:03,500
that Like control within your 
financial life as you hopefully 

950
00:48:03,500 --> 00:48:08,000
grow and become even more 
financially, abundant that just 

951
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:11,200
starts to expand even more. 
So you're used to understanding 

952
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,300
that you have to potentially 
make sacrifices in certain ways 

953
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:18,800
and then as you hopefully start 
to gain more of an income, then 

954
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:20,400
you can go. 
Okay, well maybe I'm going to 

955
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,100
start to put more money towards 
savings, or maybe I'm going to 

956
00:48:23,107 --> 00:48:25,800
bring back those things that I 
was able to sacrifice. 

957
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:28,900
Or maybe you'll be like oh I was
really able to sacrifice it. 

958
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,100
I didn't realize how much I 
actually didn't need to get my 

959
00:48:31,100 --> 00:48:33,000
nails done every other week or 
whatever. 

960
00:48:33,100 --> 00:48:35,400
And I'm happy to not spend on 
that and I can put that money 

961
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,300
somewhere else so you really 
start to get a hold on it and 

962
00:48:38,300 --> 00:48:42,800
then as you grow your able to 
manage like a 50 thousand dollar

963
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,100
a year budget and then you're 
able to manage a hundred 

964
00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:47,600
thousand dollar a year budget, 
and then 200,000, and maybe 

965
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,100
you're going to get to that 
point where you just continue to

966
00:48:49,100 --> 00:48:53,600
grow because you are always able
to understand what was going on 

967
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,100
even when you didn't have a lot 
to manage. 

968
00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:58,200
And I think I felt that. 
I one point where I was making 

969
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:01,700
not a lot of money. 
All I was just like this is 

970
00:49:01,700 --> 00:49:02,900
done. 
Why am I trying to manage this 

971
00:49:02,900 --> 00:49:05,100
money? 
I'm talking about $10 here, I'm 

972
00:49:05,100 --> 00:49:08,500
talking about $20 here, but if 
you can manage 1020 dollars, 

973
00:49:08,700 --> 00:49:11,200
then you can manage a thousand 
dollars, two thousand dollars. 

974
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:15,000
And then from there, you can 
really grow and alongside doing 

975
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:18,500
that actual practical, 
budgeting, you're also managing 

976
00:49:18,500 --> 00:49:22,900
how you feel about your money 
and healing from the ways that 

977
00:49:22,900 --> 00:49:26,800
you potentially felt negatively 
towards money growing up and you

978
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,600
start to heal it and you have a 
really healthy A ship with 

979
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,700
finances overtime. 
That's it for today's episode, 

980
00:49:32,700 --> 00:49:34,700
guys. 
I hope that you liked this 

981
00:49:34,700 --> 00:49:36,900
conversation. 
I have like I said, I've never 

982
00:49:36,900 --> 00:49:38,400
talked about money on my 
podcast. 

983
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,800
I don't know if you guys are 
going to like this, but I 

984
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:43,600
thought it would be helpful for 
you guys to hear a little bit 

985
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:46,100
about how I've managed getting 
to where I am. 

986
00:49:46,100 --> 00:49:51,500
Because I get a lot of people 
asking me about how I'm able to 

987
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:55,600
live in a very expensive city or
house able to do that. 

988
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:59,200
While not having any education, 
I'm working in a restaurant No. 

989
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:02,200
And then how I was able to save 
from there to become a Pilates 

990
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:05,100
instructor and then save from 
there to become a freelancer and

991
00:50:05,100 --> 00:50:08,800
like, all the little in-betweens
and how you're able to kind of 

992
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,300
work through different seasons. 
And I could talk about it all 

993
00:50:11,300 --> 00:50:13,900
day long. 
But hopefully, this is generally

994
00:50:14,100 --> 00:50:17,000
helped you to create a healthier
mindset around money and I 

995
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:21,300
really, really encourage you to 
now go and take that time and 

996
00:50:21,300 --> 00:50:23,500
have it come up, more and little
moments. 

997
00:50:23,500 --> 00:50:26,900
When you feel anxiety around 
money or you feel guilt from 

998
00:50:26,900 --> 00:50:28,900
spending money or whatever it 
is. 

999
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,700
Is that you start to recognize 
why you feel those things and 

1000
00:50:31,700 --> 00:50:33,800
then you start to heal those 
ways of thinking. 

1001
00:50:33,900 --> 00:50:37,400
So that as you grow and as you 
move into different seasons 

1002
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:41,000
financially, you always feel 
like you're able to create that 

1003
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,500
stability. 
And you're able to have a good, 

1004
00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:47,200
hold on your money and you 
actually do have control of your

1005
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,000
life, you are actually in 
control of your situation which 

1006
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:53,300
is so empowering and something 
that we don't talk about enough.

1007
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:54,900
So thank you guys so much for 
listening. 

1008
00:50:55,100 --> 00:50:57,700
If you don't already, follow it 
on Spotify or up a podcast or 

1009
00:50:57,700 --> 00:50:58,900
wherever you listen, then, 
please go ahead. 

1010
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,800
And follow. 
If you want to connect with me, 

1011
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:03,600
I'm over on Instagram, and 
Tick-Tock atalissa Taylor 

1012
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:07,700
Harper, and you can join our 
Facebook group called she said, 

1013
00:51:07,700 --> 00:51:10,200
what podcast group? 
Or I keep you guys updated on 

1014
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:13,800
the podcast, and sometimes, just
some other things going on in 

1015
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,000
life, getting some feedback back
from you guys as well. 

1016
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,200
So if you want to be in the 
community, then come and join us

1017
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,500
over there, and that's 
everything. 

1018
00:51:20,500 --> 00:51:22,800
Thank you guys so much for 
listening and I will see you 

1019
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,100
next week. 
Love you guys. 

1020
00:51:25,100 --> 00:51:26,000
Bye.