Love isn't enough. You heard me, I don't think
lesbian love is enough. I think if you're over the age
of 30, we are dating for so much more than love and sparks.
We are dating for lifestyle compatibility and come for me,
come for me. But first hear me out.
Within the first week of talking to someone, I figure this shit
out real fast because I've got goals and I'm sure the person
that I'm looking for has goals too.
And it's so important that our lifestyles align, not just for
the big goals, but for the little goals, like the way we
like to rest. So here's the 10 questions that
I actually ask right away. What's a typical weekday and
weekend look like for you? If your girl's out till 2:00 AM
every night, but I'm tucked into bed wanting to listen to my
Abraham Hicks meditations and read a book and drink some tea,
we're going to have a lifestyle Mitch match.
Also, I do like to go out sometimes.
It's just not every night. But I I need to know what they
find fun and make sure our idea of fun aligns.
Because for me, two martinis a couple times a week, that's a
blast. But going out, right?
No way. 2 how do you recharge? Do you need alone time?
Do you need social time? I need a hybrid.
And I want to understand if my partner needs alone time.
So I don't take that personally. And if they need social time
like 24/7, we're probably not going to be a good fit because
we'd never see each other because I'm not going out all
the time. 3 How do you feel about routines versus
spontaneity? This is huge for me.
Nothing, and I mean nothing is sexier than a plan.
You tell me, baby, I've got the reservation scheduled.
We're going here, we're going there.
That is sexy. I think a plan is sexy now.
I think offering a last minute little thing is cute.
I may or may not take you up on it because my schedule is
blocked out by the 30 minute windows when it comes to my
relaxation time. Oh my God, God, send me a future
wife. I can handle this.
I think it's really important to know if your person thrives on
structure or thrives on spontaneity.
If you're spontaneous, just for me personally, I can handle it,
but you also have to be able to provide me with a plan because
otherwise like that, that masculine energy of a plan is
what I find sexy. Otherwise, the chemistry just
isn't there. This is different for everybody.
Where are you at or what role does your career play in your
if? I ain't even going to lie, I'm
interested in women who are driven and if you're not one
probably just wouldn't have a lot in common.
It's OK for everyone to be different, but because I'm so
boss ass to the wall all the time and I date older, if
someone who was older than me wasn't like popping it off like
I am, I feel like I'd be like, what do you do with your time?
Like I I wouldn't understand them.
God bless the woman who has to deal with me being a 24/7
entrepreneur. So it's like she's kind of got
to get that vibe too. However, are you also looking
for someone who's in your same wheelhouse of creative
entrepreneur where you're always doing something wild, some crazy
project, and they've got to be used to that.
If the way you make your money is rolling around in the paint
in your garage and every single day you are going to be covered
in paint, you need a partner who, like me, can handle like,
OK, you got to do all these creative things to fund your
life, your career, and they've got to stand by you and support
you in that. Maybe that's your side hustle.
Maybe you've got a passionate side hustle and you are at the
farmers market selling your products every Sunday and you
work a 9:00 to 5:00 during the week.
Maybe you're climbing the corporate ladder and it means so
much to you to be perceived a certain way in your career and
that matters so much to you, and your partner has to respect it,
whatever it is for you. It doesn't have to be the same
as your partner, but there does have to be mutual respect around
your professional goals. This is something I love about
my lesbian dating platform, the Queer Country Club, because we
have a value based chats in a professional area where we can
not only just support each other's queer businesses, but
have conversations as queer professionals and kind of see
who's a vibing on the Safeway length as you is also something
that our AI matchmaker will take into an account.
What are you looking for? Is financial compatibility
important to you? I think it should be.
What's your relationship with money like?
That's my 5th question that I go to.
It's so important. I love to save and I love to
spend on vacations and fashion. I'm not really big on like huge
investments and like buying a big mansion.
That's not like the priority for me.
I like my money where I can see it hanging in my closet and I
like to go on nice trips. But someone else might be like,
no, we need to be investing in crypto all the time and they
might think that my shoe addiction is not a wise
financial investment. And then we'd have a fight.
And this stuff is so important to talk about because if we
don't talk about it now, it will come up later. 6 How do you
spend your free time, someone like me doing much of that.
But for most people, spending free time is super duper, duper
important. Like do you want to be spinning
it at brunch? Do you want to be drunk at 11:00
AM? Do you want to be hiking on the
weekends and being active? Do you want to be taking naps
and not on a schedule? Like these are important things
to talk about because if the way you spend the free time you
have, which is the the honestly luxury of life and the time you
can choose to spend with your partner and you're not choosing
to spend that in the same way, that could cause some fights. 7
What does emotional support in relationships look like for you?
Do you need someone just to tell you at the end of the night
you're on the same page and give you a kiss on the forehead and
just a little encouragement randomly could be any time of
the day, not much, not much at all.
You're easy, you need nothing. Or do you need long deep
conversations every single the whole night before you go to
bed? What's going to feel like enough
for you? For me, I like those long, deep
conversations and I need someone who can make space for that
quality time. That is intimacy to me.
Not everyone needs that and you should talk about it. 8 What's
your ideal living situation in the next few years?
This girl dreams of van life and you're dreaming of life in the
suburbs. It's not going to be a match.
Actually, this is coming from a girl who did full time RV ING.
God, that was like 6-8 years ago.
Oh my gosh, yeah. I lived in a vintage RV and that
was challenging because I'm not ARV girlie.
But I tried and this is something I did with the past
partner and it went against everything in myself to do it.
And I mean, our relationship didn't make it.
We wanted very different things and I tried to make my genuinely
make myself want those things and didn't work.
I think we can teach old dogs new tricks, but at the end of
the day, we are who we are. And like I just I want a closet
that is like dripping with my designer things, organizing
everything in their little spot and like everything has a place
and my house everything has a place.
If I had to do full time RV ING again, that just would not work
for my nervousness. So but maybe you're like, I
could not live with someone who just wanted to live in the
suburbs. That sounds like hell.
I need to live in the city. I need to be like a walkable
everywhere. I totally get that.
I live like in a walkable community.
I would die if I couldn't walk everywhere.
So yeah, everyone's got a different preference.
Like you, you would probably die to live in my small town.
You'd be like, I got to stay in New York.
I got to stay in LA. Like everyone has their
preferences on this. And it's something that you do
need to talk about. Not only that, but like, in the
next few years, where do you want to be?
Because most times, especially us lesbians, we're not meeting
people who live right where we are.
So we will have to agree to meet in the middle or, you know, I'll
move where you live, you move to where I live.
PS Future wife. I would love to have a hybrid
situation. I'm happy to be part time where
you are, part time where I am. I am so planted here.
I love my house. I love my little.
So hopefully we can have a hybrid situation going on.
Question #9 How do you handle stress and conflict?
Do you shut down? Do you talk it out?
Do you need space? Can you handle someone who shuts
down? Can you handle someone who needs
to have the space and walk out? Or is that extremely triggering
to you? I definitely am like I want to
cool down. I need some space.
But I will reassure you like I'm coming back, but I need, I need
some space. Conflict is always going to
happen, but understanding how this person just naturally
handles that if, if they're natural state and they're not
willing to change, that is everything that goes against
your nervous system in your natural state, then I mean,
obviously anyone can change with therapy and says, I don't know,
man, I don't know. It's a big 110.
What kind of partnership are you actually looking for?
Don't waste my time. Now this is something that you
wouldn't have to ask if you're in the queer Country Club
because we are only having women inside who are monogamous and
who are looking looking for their lifetime future partner,
their future wife, their forever person on other dating apps,
you're swiping through so many people who you don't know what
they're looking for hookups and just casual.
And if you're looking for the one, the real deal, you're
forever person. You got to apply to be a part of
my lesbian dating club for monogamous lesbians.
That's where women go who want to find their purpose.
Couple other half. You want to change the world
together. That's where women go to find
their power couple. Other half.
You want to do big things. I feel you.
I get you. That's why I created this space.
Honestly, selfishly, so I could find my future wife.
And now I get to help. All of you do it too.
Honestly, if you're over 30 and you're a lesbian, you know love
is not enough. All the things I just shared
this. Compatibility matters.
But everyone can have their own opinion.
Tell me yours.