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On this episode, relaxed 
erections versus clenching 

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erections, this is the holistic 
alpha male optimization podcast 

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where we help you unleash your 
true power as a man. 

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Hey guys, welcome back to the 
show. 

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I'm Stephen Mathis. 
Thank you for being part of this

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tribe, this growing tribe of men
who are prioritizing sexual 

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health, recognizing the impact 
that sexuality has in our lives.

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You're only listening to this 
episode based on the title, if 

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that is a priority, if it's 
something that matters to you. 

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So good on you. 
Thanks for being here. 

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Let's talk about relaxed 
erections versus clenching 

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erections. 
By default, we in essence have 

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clenching erections when we grow
up as we start to have 

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erections, a couple of things 
are true. 1 is that when we get 

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an erection, typically the 
default response is to kind of 

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squeeze that root muscle. 
It is to clench in response to 

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that erection. 
And then the other part of it is

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that again, kind of our default 
setting is to clench and squeeze

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when we are trying to get an 
erection early on in your edging

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practice, early on in having sex
or before you're trying to have 

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sex, right? 
That is kind of the default 

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response. 
However, like with a lot of 

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being human, the default 
response is actually often not 

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the one that helps us thrive. 
Same thing is true here, the one

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that helps us thrive in our 
sexuality, the one that helps us

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thrive in terms of our erection 
quality, in terms of our 

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control. 
We'll talk a little bit more 

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about both of those in a second 
is in fact practicing relaxed 

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erections. 
Now, it will not happen 

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overnight and it's not a sort of
yes or no this the the switch is

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flipped One Direction or the 
other. 

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What this is, is gradually 
building our ability to both get

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and maintain an erection with a 
relaxed root muscle in a relaxed

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state, as well as to maintain 
that erection in a relaxed state

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no matter what arousal level 
you're at. 

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Now, the different pieces of 
that may be in place for you to 

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some degree, and others not so 
much, right? 

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So you may have no problem, for 
example, getting an erection 

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while you stay relaxed, but then
as you start to get really 

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aroused, you do have a challenge
staying relaxed, right? 

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So what I would encourage you to
do is as a general principle, as

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often as possible, we want to 
practice getting and having 

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erections with a relaxed root 
muscle. 

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Again, it's not going to happen 
overnight. 

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A good place to to pay attention
to this and to start doing this 

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is when you're in your edging 
practice. 

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When you begin your edging 
practice, it is very tempting 

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for a lot of guys and it's it's 
tempting for me at times still 

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and certainly more so in the 
past. 

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It is tempting to get into that 
squeezing kind of action right 

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away as you begin your edging 
practice. 

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And the mere act of being 
patient and patience is key 

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because if you're going to be 
patient in the beginning, if 

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you're going to stay relaxed and
you're not going to squeeze that

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root muscle at all, it may take 
you longer to get erect. 

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It may take you significantly 
longer. 

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In fact, you may have to work 
with it over a course of days or

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weeks to kind of gradually start
incorporating that more and 

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more. 
However, when you do and when 

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you practice not only getting an
erection, staying relaxed in 

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your root muscle, but also 
keeping that erection, which 

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again is its own thing to 
practice. 

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As you practice both of those 
things, two things are going to 

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happen. 
One is you're going to have 

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better erections more easily 
because part of what we're doing

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here is, is programming our body
for how it's going to achieve 

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and maintain an erection, right?
There's some mind body 

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connection stuff going on there.
There's also an effect of 

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actually strengthening your 
erections over time because when

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you can maintain an erect state,
when you're relaxed, it is 

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actually strengthening your 
erection in a very interesting 

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way. 
So when you practice this more 

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and more, two things are going 
to happen. 

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One is you're going to get 
better erections more easily. 

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I promise you, you will find 
this it's kind of 

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counterintuitive and I 
absolutely talk about and yes, 

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it is very important to have a 
strong root muscle to practice 

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your Kegel squeezes to practice 
drawing that energy up with with

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squeezes and draws in a very 
intentional way. 

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When you're in your edging 
practice when you're having sex,

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yes, that is very important. 
However, this issue of actually 

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maintaining a relaxed state with
an erection, getting an erection

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and at various arousal levels is
one of the best things you could

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possibly focus on across the 
different types of you know, 

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whether it's edging or it's 
having sex across the different 

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parts of that those experiences.
It is one of the best things you

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can focus on. 
So it will improve your 

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erections. 
And then the other thing is it 

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will improve your control 
absolutely massively. 

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This is the number one thing you
could do as a general principle 

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if you would like to improve 
your control and your stamina. 

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The general principle to 
practice is getting maintaining 

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an erection with a relaxed root 
muscle, including at any sort of

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arousal level. 
And wherever you're at with 

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that, you just kind of start to 
take the next step, right? 

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So if for example, let's say if 
you go to have an edging 

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practice today and if you stay 
completely relaxed, you 

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basically can't get an erection 
at all. 

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OK, do that for a couple 
minutes. 

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Don't get upset about it. 
Be patient, practice it a little

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bit and then maybe transition 
into your normal thing. 

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And then you come back tomorrow 
and you practice it again. 

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You practice it again, you're 
going to start to find that you 

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can start to get an erection 
with a relaxed root muscle. 

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And this is something have you 
had the experience where once 

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you kind of get going, your 
erection is OK, but it doesn't 

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come as easily and quickly as 
you would like. 

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For example, maybe you're making
out with your partner and you 

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would love to like get a hard 
erection at that point when 

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you're aroused, but it actually 
takes some stimulation, 

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etcetera, to really get that 
erection. 

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This process of practicing 
getting an erection and you're 

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edging practices, of course, 
really the the primary place to 

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practice this, this this process
of practicing getting an 

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erection while you stay relaxed,
it will make a big difference in

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how easily you get erections in 
those kind of situations. 

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So I hope this makes sense. 
As always, I hope you find value

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in the show and I appreciate you
being here. 

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If you find value in the show, 
you know what you can do. 

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That would be awesome. 
Two things. 

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Leave a five star review that'll
help other guys like you find 

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and benefit from the show and 
share it with somebody. 

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Easy to do as always, thanks for
being here with me, I really 

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appreciate it. 
Go Kee stacking bricks in your 

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life. 
Talk to you soon.