Thanks for checking out the Anchor Faith Message podcast
from St. Augustine, FL.
Now enjoy this message. We are called as a church, just
not the pastors. We are called as a church.
So every vision partner of Anchor Faith Church is called to
ignite the city, impact the nation, and influence the world.
Let's say that we're called to ignite the city, impact the
nation and influence the world. Today, I want to hone in on
igniting the city. That word ignite means to burn
with zeal, to set a blaze or set on fire.
And specifically within the night of the city, I want to
talk about family advancement. One thing that you will here a
lot at Anchor Faith Churches, we are always advancing no matter
what we're doing, igniting the city, impacting the nation or
influence in the world, we're always advancing in advance.
You'll see the definition means to make progress, to move
forward, to accelerate and move to a higher rank or level.
And the Kingdom of God is always advancing.
The realm or the territory where God is in charge is always
advancing. That means there's always
progress, you're always moving forward, there's acceleration,
and He wants you to move to a higher rank or to a higher
level. 2023 may be good for you, but God wants to see greater
things in 2024 and even more excellent things in 2025.
So we are always advancing. Now I want to go to what Jesus
talked about and Jesus is the highest model of leadership that
we have. There is no greater person that
we could look to for leadership than the Lord Jesus Christ.
So as you read the Gospels, it is awesome to see how He
interacted and move with purpose in the Gospels, how He
interacted with people and how you saw His mission that God the
Father assigned him. Now in the Gospels, the Gospel
of Matthew, the last chapter in Matthew 28, this is when Jesus
has finished his work on the earth, but he he gives us what
we call the Great Commission. The word Commission means
together, it's a mission, but the word Co means you're working
together. So as a born again believer in
the family of God, in the Kingdom of God, we are Co
laboring with him. That means God and his
sovereignty is not doing everything by himself.
There is a part that you have to play.
There's a purpose that he's assigned you on the earth.
So this is a Co mission. We are working together with the
Lord Jesus Christ and the anointing of the Holy Ghost.
You know, God's gift to the world was Jesus.
God's gift to the church is the Holy Spirit.
God's gift to the world is Jesus.
God's gift to the church is the Holy Spirit.
So when we're doing this mission with him, we have the anointing
the Holy Spirit upon us to accomplish what he's called us
to do. So in Matthew chapter 28, verse
#19 and verse #20 says this. Go therefore and make disciples
of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe
all things that I have commanded you.
And lo, I am with you always, even to the ends of the age.
So this is one of the great commissions that Jesus gave to
the church and he said go on to all the nation, all the all the
nations and make disciples. Now the word nations in the
Bible is where we get ethnos or ethnic groups.
So nobody's excluded from discipleship.
As a church, as Anchor Faith Church, our goal is not to make
converts but disciples. What is a disciple?
It's a person that's fully devoted to knowing the Lord
Jesus Christ. A disciple is fully devoted to
knowing the Lord Jesus Christ. A disciple is a pupil.
That means you're a student enrolled in the Kingdom
education system, having a great hunger and desire to be taught
and listen, to learn. You must want to be taught.
If you Once you think you know everything, learning ceases.
Matter of fact, if you think that you you, you know
everything, then really you're still in a state of ignorance.
You need to be like a sponge that's ready to absorb
everything that God wants to download and instruct us in.
So discipleship never stops. This is a lifelong journey in
pursuit and a mission of God the Father that he wants all of his
children to be lifelong learn learners.
In the Jewish culture, they had thing called rabbis, and a rabbi
was a teacher. Matter of fact, you'll see the
disciples of Jesus, they referred to him as a rabbi at
times. And the thing about the the
students of a rabbi, they wanted to know what their rabbi knew.
They wanted to do what their rabbi did, and they wanted to be
like their rabbi. And as a disciple, we want to
know what Jesus knows. We want to do what Jesus does
and we want to be like Jesus in the earth.
So we are commissioned to make disciples.
So my expectation and most importantly, I say God's
expectation today is you are like, father, feed me a good
spiritual meal because I want to learn.
I need the the nourishment, the nutrients because I need to grow
as a man or a woman of God. I don't know everything and we
know that people perish because of a lack of knowledge.
So download things from heaven to earth today.
Even if I go to a scripture that I've heard before, it's going to
be like the first time and I'm ready to receive.
I'm hungry, say I'm hungry, say I'm hungry, say I'm thirsty.
Hallelujah. Now in Mark chapter 16, we have
another Commission that the Lord Jesus Christ gives, and He says
this in Mark chapter 16 verse #15 He said to them, go into all
the world and preach the gospel to every creature.
Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.
What's the gospel? Well, we know it's the gospel of
the Kingdom. If you've been with Anchor Faith
Church for any period of time, or you're more recently
attending, you're going to learn about the Kingdom of God.
And like I said, that's the realm.
It's the basilia, the realm of the territory where a king is in
charge. The Bible's about a king, his
Kingdom, and his royal offspring, Hallelujah.
And we're in the Kingdom of God. Matter of fact, in Luke 1721,
the disciples said, Jesus, when is the Kingdom going to come?
He said, behold the Kingdom come with observation.
The Kingdom of God is within you, so as soon as you make
Jesus Lord, you're within the Kingdom of God.
You've been taken out of the Kingdom of darkness and
translated into the Kingdom of God.
I'm out of that jurisdiction and I'm in the King's jurisdiction
now. He said go into all the world
and preach the gospel. That's good news.
It's good tidings. We have great news for the
world. There's hope for the world in
truth. There's hope for the world in
the gospel of the Kingdom. There's liberty, there's
freedom, there's healing, there's provision in the gospel
of the Kingdom. There's purpose within the
gospel of the Kingdom. Now he said go in all the world.
So in one Commission he says make disciples of all nations.
But in this one he says to go in all the world.
Now the world, if you look that up in the Greek, it literally
means the cosmos or the systems or arrangement of the world.
And what I mean by that you'll see on the screen in any society
when we talk about the world in any society dating back to the
beginning of civilizations, there's been seven things that's
within any society that makes systems or arrangements or
order. And you'll say, see these I go A
through G just helps me remember them.
So there's arts, there's business, there's congregations,
there's direct media, there's education, there's family and
there's government. So within any civilization,
these seven characteristics can be found as structure.
And Jesus said, I want you to go into these systems and preach
what the gospel. So guess what, when you go to
work tomorrow, if you're an arts, if you're in business, if
you're in congregations, which is organizations or assemblies
or boards, if you're in direct media, if you're in the
educational field, if you're in families, which all of us are in
families see law and in government, he said.
You're to go into all the world and preach the gospel.
So there's an assignment and a purpose for your existence in
the Kingdom of God. Today I'm honing in or taking
one of these systems and it's called the family.
And this is family advancement. God wants you to make progress,
accelerate, grow, and move to a higher rank or level in the
family unit. I got 3 yeses.
This gets me jacked excited because because if the family's
strong, the church will be strong.
If the family unit is strong, then the church will be strong.
If you got a jacked up, dysfunctional family, guess
what's coming to church? Hallelujah.
Now, does God work in that and through that?
Absolutely. But the things that you are
learning at the church should trickle over into the family.
Now this is sobering. You could sing, dance, shout and
run at the altar, but if you go home and you're Freddie the
freak or you're not living it out, you become a hypocrite.
And the things that you're being taught at Anchor Faith Church,
these are to be applied. Truth is like soap, it only
works if you apply it. So if you're a stinky spouse,
we're going to give you some truth today, some soap.
But you actually need to live these things out at the house
between your call and your character.
Gives you a thing called credibility.
All of us are called to the Great Commission.
Do you have Christ like character that you can conduct
yourself at in the home to give credibility?
Your kids will not always listen to you, but they'll always
imitate you. I remember when Abigail, my
oldest daughter, I was working out in the yard, she was talking
to me and you know, she just talks a lot at that age.
And I remember two things out of this conversation.
One the Holy Ghost said look her in the eyes when she's talking
to you. Don't have your back towards
her. Give her the attention 'cause
you're not. You need to set the standard of
what a real man does. How many of you spouses know if
you just look your spouse in the eye when they're talking to you
instead of looking at notifications?
I'm just going to throw this in there.
If you have to text each other and you're next to each other on
the couch, there's an issue. But I remember two things on
that. That was one of them is to look
her nice. Secondly was I spit when she was
talking to me. I was outside work and then she
spit. I thought, Lord, I don't want
her spitting. That's in ladylike so your kids,
they're not always listen to you, but they'll always imitate
you. Do you realize you carry an
atmosphere with you and the atmosphere you permit is the
atmosphere that's produced and God wants heaven filled homes at
Anchor Faith Church because he wants a heaven filled church.
What I mean about that by that Romans 1417 says, I'll say it
this way, God wants Kingdom filled homes and a Kingdom
filled Anchor Faith Church. Because in Romans 1417 it says
the Kingdom of God is not meat and drink, but it's
righteousness, it's peace and it's joy in the Holy Ghost.
So when we come into our houses as a man or woman of God, you
set the atmosphere in righteousness, in peace and in
joy in the Holy Ghost. Now listen.
Wisdom has taught us mastery of fundamentals is critical to
success. In Proverbs 24 talks about
there's three things that build a home.
You can have a house, but the question is, is it a home?
And you need wisdom, understanding and knowledge to
build a home. But wisdom has taught us that
mastery of fundamentals is critical to success.
John Wooden, the great coach of UCLA basketball team back in the
70s who won multiple national championships, never talked
about winning to his players. He preached fundamentals, he
preached the process, and winning took care of itself
every season. Do you realize that John Wooden
literally showed his players how to put on socks and shoes so
they wouldn't get blisters when they're playing basketball?
You realize the first thing he taught him was not plays or how
to slam dunk. He taught them how to dribble,
shoot, pass, rebound for good. Good Lord, box out.
Have me even watch the basketball game and think box
out. You know, as my wife, she was
coaching. I remember the the Washington
girl, she'd always say, put your butt in the other player and box
out. It's a fundamental right get
position, but wisdom has taught us that mastery of fundamentals
is critical to success in Matthew chapter 16 verses 18
through 19. I'm just laying a foundation
before we to get to some principles and keys that God is
going to give you today that unlock the Kingdom of God in
your home and in your life. How many of you want the Kingdom
of God unlocked and operative and fully functioning in your
life? It is completely up to you.
It's his truth, but you have to apply it.
So in Matthew chapter 16, this is where in Peter has the
revelation. You remember this story that
they said, who do you say that I am?
And some say this person, that person, he said, but who do you
say that I am? And Peter said, you are the
Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God.
He and Jesus said to him, You're blessed flesh and blood has not
revealed this to you, but my Father, which is in heaven, He
said, and I will give unto you Peter the not key, singular, but
keys plural of the Kingdom. He goes on to say, whatever you
bind on earth will be bound in heaven.
Whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
You realize that? Put the responsibility into the
hand or into the person that heard that.
So whatever you allow in your house is on your watch.
Whether it's functioning well or not is on your timetable.
Keys lock and keys unlock, but the word keys in the Greek means
fundamental principles and wisdom has taught us that
mastery of fundamentals or keys is critical to success.
So if you want to have a successful family or successful
marriage or successful parenting, you better know the
principles of the Word of God. God loves us so much there was
no confusion. He gave us 66 books to learn
from and that this is His love letter to us.
This is instruction from the King to us so we could have a
successful life. Hallelujah.
So one key to success that I'm going to start off with.
I'm going to give you 2 general keys to success.
And then we're going to get real specific for women and then for
men. So the goal of this is not to
point to your left or right. I'm prefacing this the the goal
is for you to point to yourself. So I don't want no elbows, no
stairs. You look straight ahead.
Hallelujah. So in Acts chapter one, and
we're going to read verses one through 8, this is one general
key that you need in the home. If we're going to ignite this
city and we're to touch the world.
This is one key that you need in the house to experience success.
And we know this is the ushering in of a new dispensation.
Some say the dispensation of grace, which is true, but it's
also the dispensation of the Holy Ghost.
So in Acts chapter one it says the former account I made, O
Theopolis, of all that Jesus began both to do and to teach,
until the day in which He was taken up.
After He, through the Holy Spirit, had given commandments
to the apostles whom He had chosen, to whom He also
presented himself alive after his suffering by many infallible
proofs, being seen by the disciples for 40 days and
Speaking of things pertaining to the Kingdom of God, and being
assembled together with them, He commanded them not to depart
Jerusalem. But to wait for the promise of
the Father, which he said, you have heard from me.
For John truly baptized with water, but she shall be baptized
with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.
Therefore, when they had come together, they asked Jesus,
saying, Lord, we at this time restore the Kingdom to Israel.
And Jesus said to them, It's not for you to know the times or
seasons which the Father has put in his own authority, but you
shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you,
and you shall be witnesses to me in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and
the uttermost parts of the earth.
Now I love how this is read and written because the 1st place he
says is Jerusalem, the home base and how you going to reach the
World if you're not reaching your house.
And what man? What good is if a man gains the
whole world but forfeits his soul?
So there is a premium that God puts on the home.
There's a purpose as a man or woman.
Matter of fact, if you're not fulfilling your purpose as a man
or a woman, it's hard to fulfill a specific purpose in the
Kingdom of God. So he starts in the home.
But he said you need power. You realize that marriage, your
marriage needs the Holy Ghost. Hallelujah.
You know, there's sometimes we call it intense times of
fellowship, which is a, a political way of saying
arguments, frustrations, breakdown in communication.
And you need the Holy Ghost in that moment because you know
what the Holy Ghost is going to do.
He said, John baptize you with water, but I'm baptizing you
with the Holy Ghost in Matthew 311.
He said, I'll baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with fire,
with fire. So one of the things the Holy
Spirit does in your life, he brings the fire.
And a lot of people get divorced before they can get married.
A lot of people get discouraged before the marriage grows.
The word marriage in the Greek is gamayo, which means a
blending together through intense heat and pressure.
Hallelujah. You can say Amen.
Or you could say oh me. But it's true.
And what I say, most people get divorced because they don't let
the pressure put them together. They let it pull them apart.
When I was young growing up where there was Four Seasons in
the great state of Ohio, I had a Mongoose bike with PEDs and I
remember jumping that thing as a young man off the curbs and I
end up breaking the frame on that thing.
Well my father was an account for Worth and steel so after I
broke the frame he took it to work and had won the welders
Weld that part that was broken and after he got done putting it
through the fire, he told my father.
He said that's the strongest point on that frame now because
it just went through the heat. So what I'm saying is don't let
the devil pull you apart. You need to come together with
the help of the Holy Ghost. You know he's going to burn some
things off of you and your marriage covenant.
Listen, your role, listen closely is not to play the part
of the Holy Ghost for your spouse.
I'll say it on this side. Your role, husband or wife, is
not to play the role of the Holy Spirit for your spouse.
You know a lot of people are praying.
Lord, change my spouse. I'm going to submit to you.
You need to pray. Lord, change me.
Holy Ghost, what do I need to do?
When we come into marriage counseling, there's typically a
list of everything the other person is or isn't doing.
And we have to refocus that list when we're meeting with him and
say, listen, what is your role within the marriage covenant
'cause I don't care if he is Freddie the Freak.
He could be and he needs slap spiritually, I get it, and put
back in his place. But that doesn't mean that you
still don't do your part. God is not going to judge you
based upon what Freddie the Freak did or didn't do.
He's going to base you on what did I call you to do?
And you know, with the Holy Ghost, it's not natural, it's
supernatural. With that anointing, you could
help win and be solid and be stable in any situation.
Hallelujah. So the Holy Ghost, the Bible
says he's our helper. Guess what?
He comes to bring help in the marriage covenant, He comes help
in parenting, he comes to help the family.
If there's brokenness, dysfunction, it says he's the
healer. Acts 1038 said that how Jesus
went about doing good healing, all that were pressed to the
devil for the Holy Spirit was with him.
There was an anointing to bring healing.
Even if you grew up at transgenerationally and
dysfunction after dysfunction, guess what?
God can bring normality. It stops with you now and every
generation after that it's going to be functioning in Christ.
Amen. So you need the Holy Spirit
operating to have a successful marriage company.
He will lead you, guide you, remind you, and burn some things
off. He'll strengthen you and He's
the great God on the inside. Now second general principle or
key, as Jesus said to Peter, I'll give you the keys of the
Kingdom we can find in Corinthians, first Corinthians.
Now first Corinthians. That's a messed up church you
ever wrote. Read all 16 chapters, which we
encourage an anchor faith church to read through the Bible.
Amen. Hallelujah every year, but this
is a spirit filled church. But they were a messed up
church. In chapter one they had divided
the church with their personalities.
In chapter 2 they were operating in natural wisdom and not godly
wisdom. In chapter 3, they're operating
with a carnal, not mind and not a spiritual mind.
In chapter four, they forgot who their spiritual father was.
In chapter five, he had to deal with immorality.
In chapter 6, they were bringing lawsuits against one another in
the church. In Chapter 7, they had messed up
marriages. In chapter 8, they had messed up
their own lives. By operating in liberty.
You don't have to do everything you have permission to do.
The state of Florida has legalized a thing called
marijuana. You don't have to do everything
you have permission to do. So they had messed it up through
liberty. In Chapter 9, they refused to be
corrected. In chapter 10, they were given
to idolatry. In Chapter 11, they messed up
the communion table. In chapter 12, they messed up
spiritual gifts. In chapter 13, they messed up
love. In chapter 14, they had messed
up public worship. In chapter 15, they had messed
up the resurrection. This was a messed up church, but
even in a mess, God can make a message.
I think the most powerful thing is the apostle Paul was pinning
this with the help of Holy Ghost is when we get to chapter 13 to
cure the ill of the mess because that's the great love chapter.
And I want to submit to you. If you're going to make your
family effective and successful, you need to be operating the
love of God. So I'm going to read you from
the Amplified Bible, First Corinthians chapter 13, verses 4
through 8. And if you need help in your
home, this is a great chapter to chew on day after day, minute
after minute, week after week, month after month.
And the Amplified reads it this way.
Love endures with patience and serenity.
Love is kind and it's thoughtful.
It's not jealous or envious. Love does not brag and it's not
proud or arrogant. Love is not rude.
It's not self seeking. Love is not provoked, not overly
sensitive and easily angered. Love does not take an account a
wrong, endured. It does not rejoice as
injustice, but rejoices with the truth when right and truth
prevail. Love bears all things regardless
of what comes, believes all things looking for the best in
each other, hopes all things, remaining steadfast during
difficult times. Love endures all things without
weakening. Love never fails and never fades
nor ends. What a power packed scriptures
to help us overcome. Amen.
So if you're in a mess, if you actually do these things, apply
it like soap, guess what? You're going to start to see
success in the family. Now there's three
characteristics of love, There's three provisions of love, and
there's three evidences of love. Now, I'm only going to give you
the three evidences of love, but I want to insert right now.
If you're a man, if you're a man, if you are a covenant man,
you can learn these other six characteristics if you sign up
for 3/18. Every man, if he's going to
grow, needs accountability. Every man, if he's going to
grow, needs discipleship. I'm going to lean in real heavy
right now, and I believe this with all my heart.
If there's a problem in the earth, God comes to the man
first. It's not that the woman doesn't
have a part or she's not held accountable, but I get that
pattern from the Garden of Eden. And listen, in the Garden of
Eden, before the church was founded, the home was founded
because God and his mastery of architecture and blueprint knew
he had to build a family and then build the church.
So there's two vehicles or organizations or ordained
institutions that God has operating in the earth today and
it's the family and it's the church.
But when the family fell in Genesis, guess what God did
first? He came to the man and said,
where are you? And my answer is I was at 3:18,
'cause I wouldn't have made the wrong decision.
We know what Adam said. Well, it's the woman you gave
me. But every man needs submitted to
accountability other godly men. It's going to be an encouraged
be able to encourage and sharpen them and then give them the
discipleship tools to be successful.
So I'll just double dog challenge you today.
If you're considering thought about your wife's encouraging
you to sign up for 3/18, take the challenge.
The principles that I learned from Doctor Cole back when my
journey began in 1997 revolutionized me as a man.
It wasn't Arnold Schwarzenegger that set me free because there
was a time in my life where I was looking at other men as
mentors, but they weren't the man that I needed to emulate.
It was the Lord Jesus Christ and he had an anointing and in a way
of speaking to man, men that really set a foundation in my
life. And I believe as the house is
only go as well as the man goes, I don't believe if mama's happy,
everybody's happy. I believe when the God says the
man's in the right position, it gives the greatest propensity
for the home. I'll say this as Jesus is a
foundation to the church. A man is a foundation to the
home and if the foundation is corrupt, the home is corrupt.
So I was just kind of whet your appetite.
If you're considering coming, it's going to be a challenge.
There's going to be times when you feel like quitting.
We've had men feel say we feel like throwing the books against
the wall because it's challenging.
It'll feel like it's stepping on your feet, slapping across the
face, but it's a good, it's will do you good for your journey.
To me, it's like the spiritual gym.
There's only so much you can do by yourself if you're stuck on a
lift, sometimes all you need is 2 fingers on a bench press to
get you through that sticking point.
And 318 could be those those spiritual principles and
accountability to help you men get past some sticking points in
your life. Amen.
So the three evidences love are this because we're talking about
First Corinthians 13 verses 4 through 8.
Evidence means this is how I prove that I love you.
You ever told your wife that you love her?
Has she ever said prove it? Hallelujah.
Don't answer that out loud. But this goes for anything
general or specific when it comes to love.
So the evidence of loves is this.
Number one, there's selflessness, not selfishness.
A child is selfish in the center of its own universe.
A child, if he doesn't get its own way, throws a temper
tantrum. How?
If you're 52 years old and throwing a temper tantrum in
your marriage, you're acting like a child. 1st Corinthians 13
says, when I was a child, I thought like a child.
I spoke like a child, understood like a child.
But Paul said it's time to put away childish things and an
evidence of love is selflessness.
Selflessness means I'm there's a lack of preoccupation with my
own interest, advancement and desire.
I'm more concerned with meeting the needs and desires of others.
Hallelujah. So if you're a spouse, guess
what? I'm more interested in meeting
the needs of my spouse than I'm concerned about my own emotions,
thoughts, or desires. Now, the great thing about God
and all of His infinite wisdom, as you give, you're going to
receive. See, a lot of people are trying
to receive and then give, but by faith we give selflessness and
then we receive the benefit. The second thing about the
evidence of love is the desire to benefit the one loved.
And a benefit means something that's produced that's good or
helpful. Did you know helping with
laundry is helpful? Do you know a real man can
vacuum a rug? A real man can help clean the
home. A real man could help get the
kids ready for bed. A real man doesn't leave dirty
dishes in the sink and fight with his wife as molds growing
for a week to see who's going to do the dishes.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah. The third thing of an evidence
of love, how I prove is a desire for unity.
And this only comes through communication.
You know, there's three big things in the marriage covenant,
communication, sex and money. And the last two hinge on the
first one, communication. If you can't communicate, the
other two aren't going to progress.
But you can't have unity without learning how to talk.
But in evidence of love means I'm going to be unified, which
means men, you need to learn how to communicate.
Now you know the average man speaks a lot less words than the
average woman. That's when That's why when you
come home after 8 hours, 10 hours at work and your wife
asked you, honey, how was your day?
You say it was good one adjective to describe being gone
8 to 10 hours. And then she'll start asking you
some questions and you think she's nagging you when all she
wants to do is be intimately acquainted with you and know how
your day was. So men, we need to learn how to
talk. Amen.
Now I'm I'm going to bring this plane in for a landing.
I'm going to give you 2 keys for the women.
And to be have equality. I'm not going to do anything for
the men. I'm just kidding.
I'm going to give you 2 keys for the men.
So Are you ready? Let's go to Proverbs 2715.
Hallelujah. A continue dripping on a very
rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
Well, this will make you want to run away.
Now, the the keyword is continual.
Ladies, when you practice something, that means you
perpetually do it. So if this happens occasionally,
it's not continual. Are you with me?
So there's no condemnation, only conviction to bring you up
because we're to advance always, right?
So if you want to go to a higher rank or level, don't be
contentious. And it says continually.
So I don't practice this. This is why you need the Holy
Ghost, because the Holy Spirit will tap you on the inside and
say, my daughter, you are being continually contentious.
Now, what's contentious? It means you find fault.
It means you like to fight. You're a brawler.
You're antagonistic. I'll say this way, you always
put him down. Contentious means that you're
against and you're a rivalry. Instead of completing, you're
competing in the Garden of Eden. It was oneness, Adam said.
She's bone in my bone and flesh in my flesh.
They were to be one unit, harmony and concord.
She wasn't competing against God.
She was completing her assignment in God's picture of
what the marriage should look like and operate like.
But you can be a contentious woman when you're complaining
fault finding you're always against your husband.
You know, the Bible says, and I'll give this I was said and
tithe and offering time that women you need to if you're if
you're a single woman, one of the first requirements.
Obviously they need to be born again, but they need to have a
job, right, because God gave Adam a job before he gave him
his wife. But do you know that the Bible
says when he formed Eve, he made a woman that was going to be for
him. So if you if for men, if you
want to, if you're single and you're trying to get a candidate
as a wife, you need to make sure that she's for you.
And a contentious woman continually is always against
her husband. Always fight, fight, fault
finding, criticizing, complaining, putting down.
And I'll say this is typically typically because she's not well
with herself and you need the Holy Ghost to touch that part of
your life so you can come alongside him.
The Message Bible reads it like this.
A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky
faucet. You can't turn it off and you
can't get away from it. How many men want to come home
to that? Proverbs 2119 says this.
It's better to dwell in the wilderness than when they can
with a contentious and an angry woman.
So listen, I'm going to give you an antidote, ladies.
If you feel contentious, frustrated, fussy, disappointed,
there's an antidote. What's an antidote?
A lot of times we use that in conjunction when when you get
bit with something that's poisonous, that could end your
life. And listen, contention can end
your life. What I mean by that it's not
necessary that you'll be separated as far as death, but
death means separation. You could be separated from your
spouse and God never wanted to be like that because year after
year, decade after decade, all you do is be contentious.
But a lot of times we use an antidote as this, you've been
bitten by something and they got to give you an antidote.
What to cure what the poison was and in in Ephesians chapter 4
verses 31 through 32, God gives an antidote for in this specific
scenario, I'm talking about the wife to be healed.
I'm going to read this from the amplified Bible.
It says this, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour,
perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault finding and
slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice,
all spitefulness, verbal abuse. Now the listen to verse 32.
Because this is the cure. This is the cure.
Are you with me? Say this is the cure.
Be kind, helpful to one another, tender hearted, compassionate,
understanding. And I'm going to hone in on
this, forgiving one another readily and freely, just as God
in Christ also forgave you. Now forgiveness, if you want
health and wholeness and you don't want to be a contentious
woman, you need to make sure that you're in forgiveness.
Forgiveness comes on three levels or three dimensions #1 if
you don't done wrong, thank, thank the Lord that he's given
us a key, a fundamental that we can run to if we blow it.
And it's a thing called repentance and forgiveness.
First, we go before God and we say we're sorry that we blew it.
Secondly, we go before those that we've injured or harm and
say, guess what? I'm, you know what that does in
the marriage when you say I'm the one instead of you're the
one boy that disarms and dismounts some arguments, but
you go before the injured or the offended party, say please
forgive me. And then thirdly, you need to
make sure you forgive yourself. That's self help and self-care.
self-care. When you say, Lord, you're not
holding that against me anymore. I've asked, asked for your
forgiveness. I've applied the blood and guess
what? You're not holding that against
me. So I don't need to hold that
against myself. So listen, drop it, release it
and let it go. That's the cure for contention
is love in that dynamic. The second specific principle I
want to give you as a wife and end on a positive.
Listen, there's so many principles in the word of God.
I'm just trying to Wet Wet your taste buds to two so you
continue to read the word and find these truths so that you
can be a success. Proverbs 1914 says this.
Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a
prudent wife is from the Lord. Hallelujah.
I like that the writer in this wisdom literature of Proverbs
saw that there was more value in treasure in a wife than just
gold, silver and riches. What a picture.
Husbands, you need to look at your wife as a treasure chest.
She's so valuable. And when woman you need to see
yourself as that and be prudent. Cause a prudent wife is from the
Lord and you want to have that in your marriage cover.
Now prudence means this, to be circumspect, to have insight,
wisely understand and cause to prosper.
I'll repeat that to be prudent means to be circumspect to have
insight to wisely understand and cause to prosper.
So prudent wife has these characteristics of circumspect
having insight wisely understanding her husband and
causes the household to prosper. That's a prudent woman and
really this all that gives a a picture or definition of a godly
wife examines all sides and as insight or introspection and
knowledge and skill and view into the interior of anything.
A prudent wife means she sees everything.
She examines everything. She has thorough knowledge and
skill. She has view on the interior of
anything. When I think of that, it makes
me think that God, when you created woman, you pulled her
from the inside of man. So she knows what's going on
inside of you and you pulled her from a thing called a rib, which
brings protection. So a prudent wife is going to
bring protection and see things and discern things that are
going on around the home in the home or trying to come against
the home. And she's going to come and help
the the house to prosper becomes she becomes an aide.
So prudent wife is a great blessing and a prudent woman is
wise. A prudent woman, when she sees
her husband taking out the trash, she'll say freeze.
He'll be like what? And she'll say, you look good
taking out that trash. That's a prudent life.
Proverbs 14 one says this, the wise woman builds her house.
A prudent woman built her house, but the foolish 1 pulls it down
with her own hands. Wow, that is a sobering but at
the same time exciting scripture because the ability to to
succeed is in your own power. Joshua 24 says this.
Joshua said I've said before you life and death choose life.
This verse teaches you women how to choose life and how to
succeed in the marriage covenant.
And a prudent woman will bring blessing, prosperity, goodness
and growth to that home. Proverbs 31 is a wonderful book
because primarily the greatest percentage of that is about what
a godly woman looks like and operates with men.
Women. You should be encouraged to go
read that because it taught She was in business.
She prayed at night. That's what I get out of because
she said she worked at night. So she was like the psalmist
that said even at night, my heart is meditating upon the
word. She'll get up and cover her
household in prayer. I plead the blood of Jesus.
My kids are going to serve the Lord.
My husband's going to serve God. We have peace in this house.
Ain't no woman, loose woman or anything else going to come
against my kids, My husband, she will pray.
She'll be a woman of virtue. And you know what the Bible
says? That her household will rise up
and call her blessed. Why?
Because she doesn't pull down the house, but she builds it
because she's prudent. And what a prayer to pray.
God, if you're a wife, I need wisdom today.
Operate. Thank you for the anointing to
operate in this role and be a great blessing and benefit to my
household. Now we get to the men.
Hallelujah Colossians chapter 3 verse #19 I find this verse
interesting because this is written to the church at
Colossae which is a spirit filled tongue talking Bible
believe in church but yet the Holy Ghost by inspiration of
Paul pin this in the Bible. So there's obviously something
going on that need to be addressed with the men in their
role and the Holy Spirit identifies it.
He said husbands love your wise and do not be bitter toward
them. This isn't a fleshly carnal
person. This is a spirit filled
believer. And yet there's a propensity to
be bitter towards your wife. What does bitter mean?
It means you're sharp, you're sarcastic, you're biting.
You know what it means to bite. You give a quick answer because
you're irritated. You're on edge.
You could be angry, right? This word bitter means you're
painful to the mind. What an indictment.
You don't want your wife to think of you as being painful to
her. When you go home, she should
want you home. When you go home, she should say
my husband's home. There's stability, there's
security, there's identity. When my husband come homes, he
brings an atmosphere with them of peace and righteousness and
joy. You don't want to come home as a
bitter man. And she's thinking, I wish he
would have stayed at work. Hallelujah.
A Kingdom man is well received in his house.
I'll say it again, a Kingdom man is well received in his house.
He's not sharp, he's not sarcastic, he's not body, he's
not painful to the mind. That's because we operate in a
thing called love, man. It says love your wife.
Don't be bitter or acidic to them.
The word love. I want to give you one
definition, definition of love to cure bitterness.
And you know the Bible says in First Corinthians 13, as we read
it already, love is long-suffering.
One translation says love is patient.
Patience means I have a long Wick.
You remember Wild Coyote and the Roadrunner?
And he's always trying to blow him up with dynamite.
And every time when it didn't explode, he would go look at the
Wick, right? And it was right there going to
explode. But don't be explosive.
Have a long Wick, man. This isn't you.
This is the supernatural power of God working inside of you.
That's why you got to say I got patience.
I got the love of God on the inside of me.
I have a long Wick. I'm long-suffering.
I can, I like this. Patience means I can't endure.
I'm just not built for a good time.
I'm built for a long time. And this journey is not a
Sprint, it's a marathon. And so for me to come to 318 and
be around other godly men and have accountability, I'm going
to learn a thing called patience, which means I got
endurance. I can do it.
I'm not going to grow weary in well doing, even though she's
acting like someone who sits on a broomstick right now.
I got a thing called endurance and my love is going to conquer
her crazy Cray Cray right now because she acting funny.
But guess what? Patience Trump's that weirdness.
Hallelujah. You know, there's certain times
of the month. I'll keep this real general.
That'd be good for you men to notate on your calendar.
So a week prior to that date, you can practice a little more
patience instead of thinking what is wrong with this woman?
This is the woman, she's what's going on.
The emotions are all and God's saying, listen, long Wick
endurance, listen. Patience means you're constant
and you're steadfast. You know man, if you're going to
overcome bitterness, you need to be like Jesus.
Jesus was the same yesterday, today and forever.
Instability in the man creates instability in the home.
Jesus was never in stable or unstable with the church.
He got. He got great.
He brought great stability to the church, and men should bring
great stability to the home. I know this is kind of a graphic
picture, but I'm, I'm going to plant this in your mind.
When you talk about constancy, endurance and steadfastness, it
really gives a picture of a statue.
And a statue doesn't change no matter what happens to it.
And my wife, when we used to live in Oklahoma, she was taking
the Turnpike back from Norman, a Broken Arrow.
And you got to stop there to pay.
And when she reached out to pay, there was a bird that Pooh
poohed on her arm. Can you imagine the timing just
like that? And it hit her.
Matter of fact, it happened to my daughter at Washington DC
trip, right? That's a curse.
I cursed that bird poop off a family.
But I think of of a statue. If a statue gets pooped on, it
stays the same. So if you're getting that in
your marriage, men, just be steady.
You realize if you freak out, she's going to freak out.
You realize if you react and not respond to the emotions, come
on, man. You're like, man, if I would
have just handled that better, it wouldn't get dragged on for
four weeks. Be honest.
If I would have handled that better, I could have been a cure
and I added to I've been there before.
I thought, OK, I'll learn patience steadfast, right?
I want to close with this Ephesians chapter 5 verses 25
through 27. I'm going to read this from the
amplified Bible. It says, Husbands, love your
wives, seek the highest good for her, and surround her with a
caring, unselfish love, just as Christ also loved the church.
And he gave himself up for her so that Jesus might sanctify the
church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the
Word of God, so that in turn He might present the church to
Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any
such thing, but that she should be holy, set apart for and
blameless. What a great scripture.
I want to take one principle out of that, though.
He said that He would cleanse her with the washing of the
water by the Word. Men, what are you saying to your
wife? Men, what are you constantly
communicating to your wife? We were in a counselling meeting
one time and my wife and I and I remember this.
The husband literally said she's a small ball and chain.
Do you know in Proverbs 1821, it says life and death are in the
power of the tongue. Those that love, it's going to
eat the fruit of it. That speaks of bondage.
Why in the world would I want to confess with my words that have
creative power? You're, you're made in the image
of God and in his image He's given us creative power on the
inside also. So in Genesis, guess what God
did when he created the world? He spoke it into existence.
God said it, He saw it and he saw that it was good.
Notice, notice a pattern. God said it, then he saw it, and
then he saw that it was good. Husbands, if you would say it,
then you would see it and you would see that it is good.
Too many times though, men are wanting to see it and then say
it by face. Say it.
Call her a woman of God. Call her anointed woman.
Call her bless. Call her full of peace.
Call her full of prosperity. Call her what God calls her.
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