1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:02,080 Hello mate. Hello again I. 2 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,080 Felt like we should do like Welcome to the autism podcast. 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:06,160 Yeah, Yeah. Welcome, Welcome. 4 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,600 Yeah. Welcome to the Autism Podcast. 5 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,560 We're not that professional yet. Not at all. 6 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,640 Haven't a year yet? About this episode 34 So we've 7 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:12,600 had plenty of practise. Plenty. 8 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:15,680 Of practise, and we're still. Coming up to the year 9 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:19,320 anniversary, is it a couple of weeks away, something like that, 10 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,640 start of May, 11th of May, yeah, yeah, not far, is it? 11 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,720 That's 12 months. That's mental. 12 months of 12 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,320 boring everybody with our chit chat. 13 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:32,920 Yeah, I know. So how's your week been? 14 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,120 It's been, it's been good. You've been on holiday. 15 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:40,080 I've been to Cyprus, yes. Came back Wednesday so the Tan's 16 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,920 obviously faded. I don't know mate, still there? 17 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:43,840 Still there. Oh yeah. 18 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:44,920 Still pulling it off. That's good. 19 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:46,960 No, it was good. It was good. 20 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,920 Nice to get a bit of a break back to it, back to work. 21 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:49,760 So it's all a. Distant. 22 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,520 I saw that last photo you put up was on the beach. 23 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,280 It was just bye last day. Sad face. 24 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,120 Sad face, bye bye, goodbye. And you had a good time. 25 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,120 Yeah, it was lovely mate, Yeah, lovely to go out there, see the 26 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,840 family and yeah, just chill out for a little. 27 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:01,800 Bit yeah, of course. Keep thinking. 28 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,080 Your family? Yeah, got some family. 29 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,040 Out. I remember seeing a photo you 30 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,960 put up when we first started talking like a year ago and it 31 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:09,040 was, I think it was your, your brother, brother. 32 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,000 I think it was your brother or cousin. 33 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:12,360 Cousin any other I. Was just sinking in. 34 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:13,680 I haven't got a brother. I don't have a brother. 35 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:16,240 He was sitting outside with a with a robot. 36 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:17,880 I asked my cousin. Yeah, absolutely. 37 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:18,800 Yeah. In Cyprus. 38 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,600 Yeah, absolutely. So if it drops below 28°, the 39 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,360 coats and jumpers come out of your Cypriot. 40 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:28,080 So yeah, he, he was kind of in a a jumper blanket. 41 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,800 And I'm just an invest. Yeah. 42 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:30,960 Going. It's way too hot. 43 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,280 He's going way too cold. You know what we had then we had 44 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:34,280 soup. We had soup that night. 45 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,240 What? We had soup. 46 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,520 Yeah. So just to warm ourselves up. 47 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:43,120 So absolutely. I think the soup got warmer the 48 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,880 longer it was outside. Crazy. 49 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,120 But yeah, it was good. It was nice. 50 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,840 Nice to be there, have a little bit of a break and good. 51 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:48,960 We're back to it, aren't we? Well. 52 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,280 It's funny because I was just going to say, like on the on the 53 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,040 last one we did, we were like, oh, Andy's back. 54 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,720 Yeah, you're back. And then you fucked off. 55 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,160 Again, I fucked off again. Yeah, absolutely. 56 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,520 But I am back for the foreseeable future. 57 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,040 Oh great, that's good to know mate. 58 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,240 I think the public demanded it so. 59 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,680 I had to. They were like, where's Andy? 60 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,840 We need Andy. We have one person getting 61 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,040 Where's Andy? Has it actually been replaced by 62 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,440 your wife? Yeah, it's what was the 63 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,360 question. It wasn't even Andy. 64 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,120 It was. Is the other man going to be 65 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:14,240 back on the? Other man he. 66 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,280 Was the other man 1 episode of admission And like where's the 67 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,560 other man? Ant and Dec, you can't tell them 68 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:22,480 apart. But no, we had the we had an 69 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,520 interesting weekend. We had the Guardian come to your 70 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,880 house to do some photos. Yeah, by by looking, by looking 71 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,040 at the photos that he made us take. 72 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:32,400 I might have replaced your wife. Oh mate, honestly he was a 73 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,600 lovely guy on it. He was so. 74 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,800 Nice he he is a top top. Guy top bloke and he's got an 75 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,320 eye for it, you could tell. Oh my God. 76 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:41,000 When, when I saw Fabio. And what did you when you saw 77 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,080 Fabio in the e-mail, were you expecting him to be? 78 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:47,120 I'll be honest, I heard the word Fabio and I just had images of 79 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,280 like the the guy out of Benidorm. 80 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:53,480 Yeah, just like Sprink, you know, slits, back hair. 81 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,440 That's what I did best. And then he rang and he was 82 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,680 like, hello, mate, you OK? I was like, oh, I don't quite 83 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,560 expect it. I don't know, like an accent or 84 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:00,800 something. Because he's not Fabio. 85 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,440 But tell you what, what a geezer. 86 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,360 What a nice guy. What a nice guy. 87 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:10,160 And he came, he came to to my house and set up in the lounge 88 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,960 and put the backdrop up, the light in. 89 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,200 He had some gear, didn't he? Yeah. 90 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:15,560 And started snowing. Oh. 91 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,640 That was. I forgot about that. 92 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:19,600 Started snowing. So yeah, the weather was lovely 93 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,640 outside. He was like, Oh no, weather's 94 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,920 nice, we'll do some inside shots and then we'll go outside. 95 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:24,360 And then, yeah, it started snowing. 96 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,720 I live in an area of Shropshire which just does it's own weather 97 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:27,400 system. Yeah. 98 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,240 Man. It was it was something else 99 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,920 when it. Snowed for half an hour and then 100 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,320 it was just beautiful blue sky. Yeah. 101 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,080 Mental and we just. Stood in the middle of the road 102 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,040 on the mountain having a higher mistake. 103 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,160 Barney It was like, oh, right in the middle of the road. 104 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,280 I was like in the middle of the road. 105 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,760 Yeah, in the middle of the road. We'll just take photos here. 106 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,000 And I was thinking, like, cars do come up and down here, he's a 107 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:43,840 quiet place. But. 108 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,680 And then, lo and behold, somebody did stop. 109 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,400 Didn't they? A lady did stop to inform us 110 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,880 that this was a road. It was a road. 111 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,920 There could be cars on it. So thank you very much for the 112 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:53,920 tip. Thank you, we do realise it's a 113 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,480 road but he was great, really nice guy and the photos that he 114 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:03,520 got me need to take quite. Closely erotic, yeah. 115 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,640 You know what? I mean some of them. 116 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,720 Some quite some cuddly ones in there wasn't. 117 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,760 There there was some cuddle photos in there, which is, yeah, 118 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:11,960 I hope he does work for the Guardian. 119 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,080 He's just not some guy that's decided I've got a. 120 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,760 Yeah, if he doesn't like what? Message him in Fabio. 121 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,079 What are these? What are these photos mate? 122 00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:21,320 Just no response. No response. 123 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,440 The e-mail bounces back. Yeah, yeah. 124 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:30,000 So I had to do you remember that that person last week, I read 125 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:35,400 that message out and it was about like using the pronoun 126 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:39,600 they. Turns out that because I wasn't 127 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,640 sure what it was, I was like, maybe I've misread this or 128 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,040 something. That turns out that's exactly 129 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,240 what they meant. Do not use the pronoun they when 130 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,800 you're speaking about your son. And I went, we weren't. 131 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,400 And then they said, OK, well, fine, don't use the pronoun they 132 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,560 at all to talk about people with autism because I'm autistic and 133 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:01,720 I find it offensive. And we had a back and forth. 134 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:06,080 We didn't agree, but to be fair in the end they sent a message 135 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:10,480 saying I wasn't being funny, didn't mean to have a fallout 136 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,920 with you and I was like cool we and this is a nice. 137 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,800 Thing, it wasn't a fallout, it was a discussion, wasn't it? 138 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:14,680 Yeah. That's, you know, that's such a 139 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,000 good point. Like this is thing like it's 140 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,600 just a normal discussion. We can, we can. 141 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,560 What does Nick Ferrari say? Will, will, will disagree 142 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,760 agreeably? Yes, like you can, we can 143 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:25,720 disagree and that's totally fine. 144 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,880 And they sent a lovely message and I said, mate, it's cool, 145 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,320 Yeah, it's cool. We just disagree. 146 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:33,440 But obviously that conversation we we we started to talk to some 147 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,720 of the lads and one of the lads said what? 148 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,920 Do we say lads we mean like dads of? 149 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,960 Sorry to Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we're talking about. 150 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,400 The lads, we've got a we've got a small group. 151 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,200 What's that group of some of the dads that we've met either at 152 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:45,920 the Christmas do or that came on the podcast. 153 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:50,720 And one of them said he'd had this encounter with an old 154 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:55,920 friend of his and he was talking about his lad and, and kind of 155 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,400 the the struggles he has with autism And his friend was quite 156 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,120 surprised. And again, this is something 157 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,960 when he said it was like, yeah, we don't necessarily tell our 158 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,480 friends about our kids that much and the struggles they go 159 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:08,920 through. Like when he said it, I was 160 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,400 like, actually, yeah. I mean, unless they ask and they 161 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,720 really want to know the detail, I don't yeah, necessarily share 162 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:15,880 it. I. 163 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:21,480 I, I think I've probably been conditioned over the five years 164 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:25,800 of Lydia's life to stop having that conversation with people 165 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:32,640 because I find myself having to explain, yeah, that the joy and 166 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:36,080 happiness day your child might be experiencing on a day-to-day 167 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,480 basis is very different. Different to the joy and 168 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,000 happiness that yeah, yeah. That we experience through 169 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,080 through Lydia. So maybe there's an element of 170 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,880 just not not going into too much detail because then I have to 171 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,000 give the full background story. And yeah, I must have to for no 172 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,200 reason. I shouldn't have to do this or 173 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,200 feel like this, but to explain, yeah. 174 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,480 And maybe we don't want to subconsciously, maybe there's 175 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,120 something that makes we just not want to go through. 176 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,680 All this stop interacting and yeah, and and doing that and. 177 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,960 Not list the stuff that we. Well, maybe if they were 178 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,120 neurotypical, it would then be. Yeah, my kid does that. 179 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,160 Yeah. You know, mine does. 180 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,360 You know, this. I'm just, I'm just like a yeah. 181 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,880 Yeah. We've got some common ground. 182 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:13,920 Yeah, that's it. And. 183 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,880 There's no common ground where. So he had this so he was having 184 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:22,280 this conversation and then a lady overheard over heard the 185 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,280 conversation. And from what you said, it 186 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,080 sounded like she just decided to interject into the conversation. 187 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:28,920 She heard the word autism and child. 188 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,840 And she was like, are you talking about autism? 189 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,520 Is your child autistic? And he said, yeah, you know, is 190 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,920 he verbal? No, he's non verbal. 191 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,240 You know, he struggles with this, that and the other. 192 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,120 And then she said, I've got an autistic child. 193 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,080 And he was like, oh, wow, you know, really showed an interest. 194 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,120 Wow, OK, great. So do you mind me asking like 195 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,920 kind of what what what they like and what the struggles are and 196 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,640 all this kind of stuff? And she said he said, is, is 197 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,080 your kid non verbal as well? And no, no, he's verbal. 198 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,080 Oh, OK. And what is he? 199 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,920 Is he in a mainstream school or a specialist school? 200 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,120 And no, he's in a specialist school. 201 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,520 Oh, how's he getting on? Oh, top of his class? 202 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:06,960 And he said, oh, that's great. And she just switched and was 203 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,640 like, yeah, she was switching it. 204 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:09,400 What do you mean? Great. 205 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,800 And you went oh, because you just said he's top, top of his 206 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,360 class. Just sounds like he's that's 207 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,760 really good that he's doing well. 208 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,240 That's that's that is objectively great. 209 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,440 That's great news. And she. 210 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:27,360 As opposed to not doing well. Yeah, like so, So he, he 211 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,600 understandably was a bit like taken aback. 212 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,320 Yeah, a bit like strange. And and she said. 213 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,200 Are you saying that your life's harder than mine? 214 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,240 Whoa. Hello. 215 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:40,880 And he was like, no, I'm not saying that. 216 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,320 I'm just saying our lives are different. 217 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,800 All I was saying was it's great that your kids do well at 218 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:45,920 school. Like. 219 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,080 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is the normal response. 220 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,240 Someone says that my kids, my kids doing well at school. 221 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,440 That's good. Yeah, that's the normal 222 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:54,960 response. Yeah, my kids doing well at 223 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,600 school. I'm so sorry to hear that. 224 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:57,960 I'm. Sorry to hear that, your life 225 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:02,240 must be extremely hard. And it just it and it kind of 226 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:09,400 got me thinking it kind of this conversation where like our kids 227 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,200 are all different and I think it's all relative. 228 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:18,880 But I would imagine in some cases if these parents were to 229 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:23,080 experience some other parents lives with their children where 230 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,440 they're non verbal and they've got loads of other struggles, I 231 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,560 think it's a fair thing to say that they might find that more 232 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,280 difficult. Now like you said, you've said 233 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,320 this before like it is all relative and it's not a 234 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,720 competition. It's, it's, it's not a 235 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,400 competition, is it? But it's this is feeling of it's 236 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:47,000 like they want their kid to be more difficult. 237 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,320 I don't know. I couldn't figure out the 238 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,240 response. I was like. 239 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,000 Is it what? What is that? 240 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,160 I don't know if people want their kid to be more difficult. 241 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,880 Is it? Is it kind of you want others to 242 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,000 see how difficult? You want recognition that your 243 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,960 life is is difficult which. Again, I understand. 244 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,640 Yeah. You'd want people to recognise 245 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,840 that, yeah, your life is, is extremely difficult. 246 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,560 Yeah, it's not. Again, it goes back to some of 247 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:12,800 our early conversations, isn't it? 248 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,520 It's, it's not the life you initially planned. 249 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,560 No. When you are going to have no, 250 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,000 this, this child join the family. 251 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,280 It's not the, you know all they're going to be doing XY and 252 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,120 Z in the future where, you know, we're going to be having these 253 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,120 beautiful memories here and everything's going to be a 254 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,600 blast. And it's not like that, is it? 255 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:34,560 So maybe it is just that. Don't say my life is good. 256 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:39,320 Do you know what it might be? It might be that when your child 257 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,880 necessarily doesn't have all the obvious signs and struggles of 258 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:48,600 autism that you are struggling and cognitively you're worried 259 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,640 that people aren't seeing that it might be difficult and people 260 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,160 might think your life's a breeze when it's not. 261 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,600 So you're almost a defensive. You're on the defensive slightly 262 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,840 to be like, don't assume my life is easy because my kids do mine 263 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,040 at school. It could be that it. 264 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:04,080 Could be, you know, if you've if you've, you've spent all that, 265 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,960 all those years of your child's life acting like that, you know, 266 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,840 you've talked about it from AX forces point of view. 267 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:16,160 You've constantly in this kind of combative state where you're 268 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,760 always, you know, ready to. Yeah. 269 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,040 So it's kind of fight or flight sort of thing. 270 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,880 Are you always in that kind of defend, defend, defence or if 271 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,800 somebody says something? But it is all relative, isn't 272 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,840 it? Yeah, it is relative, you know, 273 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,400 And again, our children are profoundly autistic. 274 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,920 You know, it has its drawbacks, obviously, but sometimes we go, 275 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,200 jeez, it might actually have benefits in the education system 276 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:44,120 or, or something like that. And then if your child is is 277 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,920 verbal, for instance, we just take that one example already, 278 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,840 you know, from our point of view, we go, oh, that's really 279 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,160 good for you, but you're still struggling with everything in 280 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:59,760 the sense of because they appear or come across that's closer to 281 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,680 neurotypical than our children would do. 282 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,200 Are you constantly having to justify it? 283 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,040 And you know, it's that classic. Someone's got a blue badge and 284 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,160 they park in the disabled Bay and they're quite entitled to. 285 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,960 But if they walk out of their car, normally everyone's like, 286 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,200 you shouldn't be parking. Where's Where's your missing 287 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,040 limb? You've got a blue. 288 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,640 Budget no, not yet, no. So everyone's kind of, you know, 289 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,040 you're already on the defensive going, no, there is a 290 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,000 disability, it's a disability. But for somebody like that, 291 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,480 maybe the disability's, you know, even more hidden or not as 292 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,800 unsure to say, not as obvious to outsiders. 293 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,280 So they feel they need to. So they feel they need to do it, 294 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,920 but at the same time. But they don't. 295 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,840 They don't need to. Or at least I don't think. 296 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,080 They need to in that audience, they don't need to. 297 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,360 No, that, that's it. In this audience, you don't need 298 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,320 to. I mean, we get it. 299 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,320 I can. I can. 300 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,040 And this is the when I first heard it, I was like, why? 301 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,440 Why? Why can't you would necessarily 302 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:53,560 accept that your life might be easier than some other parents? 303 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:58,200 I can say quite openly I'm two years ahead of you. 304 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,600 I can. I know categorically my life 305 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:05,240 with Thomas is easier than your life with Lydia. 306 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:10,680 It's a fact. And our kids are roughly the 307 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,040 same kind of level of autism. On paper, yeah. 308 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,280 On paper, if we look at diagnosis. 309 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,440 It's kind of yeah, my life is easier than your life. 310 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:21,760 So based on that, I would assume that someone else who's got 311 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:26,360 another kid could do the same. But that might be why, because 312 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,640 they're just in this defensive, almost like cognitive. 313 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,240 Disability, it's a difficult thing in it like my you know, 314 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,880 you said Thomas is 2, you're 2 years ahead. 315 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,320 So you're in a slightly better position than than what I am. 316 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:40,200 But then again, looking back for me, there could be somebody 317 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,600 that's two years behind me and I know where we're up to at the 318 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:43,280 moment. Here you go. 319 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,080 We're we're so much more good example that we were good 320 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,480 example. Would be Luke, Yeah. 321 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:48,640 That we met at the Christmas dude. 322 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,400 Yeah, obviously Lucas and LBC, he shared his story on there. 323 00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:58,240 Now Luke's in a real tough spot, You know, he's got a kid that 324 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,000 that can't even live with him. Yeah. 325 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:05,040 And he's had to go into kind of accommodation outside that would 326 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,800 be very difficult. But again, in a different way. 327 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,360 He's not with him every day, all day, every night. 328 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,840 But the emotional toil that must come with not only not living 329 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:18,160 with your kid, but that initial having to let your kid go to 330 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,800 live somewhere else. Can't even fathom that, can't 331 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,080 fathom it. So I think just the point is 332 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,000 like, we've all just got very different lives. 333 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,920 And again, the differences and we, we've talked about it ad 334 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,600 nauseam. But these these kids that are 335 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,560 more high functioning and maybe they kind of it's less obvious 336 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:42,640 their day-to-day, I can imagine is is very difficult, very 337 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,560 difficult because they're still fighting a system. 338 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,280 It's not, it's not just that they're dealing with the stuff 339 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,360 that their kids going through. They're still trying to fight 340 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:52,240 for what the kid needs, which like, I got it easy. 341 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,320 So I can't even I can't, I can't imagine what it's like having to 342 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,960 constantly fight and fight and fight and fight. 343 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,440 We got it a piece of piss because of the profundity of his 344 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,680 autism. But this is, this is, but I'm 345 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:06,680 not trying to upset anyone here, but there are people with more 346 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:13,160 high functioning children who are less likely to need the 347 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,760 support that I know Thomas is going to need and Lydia's going 348 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,680 to need when they're adults because they are likely to, if 349 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,000 not, have us have a carer with them at all times. 350 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,760 Hopefully some of these more high functioning kids will be 351 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,120 able to function in society, get jobs and have relationships, 352 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,080 still be autistic, still have their struggles. 353 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,440 Absolutely. But. 354 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,240 And and the thing that me and you have both talked about is, 355 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,800 is obviously when, when, when we pop our clogs. 356 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:44,560 Yeah, and we 100% isn't it? It's yeah, it's it's, it's the 357 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,680 hard 1, isn't it? It's, it's the the thing at the 358 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,800 back of your mind 24/7, isn't it? 359 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:49,920 Yeah, it has to be. In the back of your mind. 360 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:50,880 Because it's not the. You can't. 361 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:51,680 You can't. All the time. 362 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,520 No it wouldn't. You wouldn't live your life. 363 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,520 No, you wouldn't. And it, it, it's one of those 364 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,760 things just you keep trying to push down, isn't it? 365 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:02,120 Yeah, you push it down because you don't want to keep having 366 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,240 that, that thought process of, you know, again, we've said it 367 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,280 many times, but what happens when I die? 368 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,520 Is it better that I die before my child dies? 369 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,120 One thing to think. But that's that's a constant 370 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,080 thing that will keep popping up in your head. 371 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,880 Yeah. Especially social media that 372 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:23,200 shares all the horror stories. I just can't imagine even as an 373 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,160 adult like. The alternatives are shit, 374 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,320 aren't they? The alternatives are. 375 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,960 You want your child to die before you? 376 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:32,960 Yeah, that's not great. No, in in what world is that 377 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,920 great? No, in our world. 378 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,760 Part of you thinks that might be. 379 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:44,480 Especially when you're like our age, I mean 44 Thomas is 6 for 380 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,280 him to go at the same time as meal before me means he's dying 381 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:53,160 way too young. But like what it it's weird. 382 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,480 It's it's not something you want to happen. 383 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,320 Of course not. But the idea of them being there 384 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,360 without you, and you said before like no one's going to love your 385 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,599 kid. Like, like you love your kid. 386 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:08,720 No, nobody. And, and there are outstanding 387 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,760 people, I'll make this clear. There are outstanding people 388 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:17,760 that work in the care system that will do their absolute 389 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:18,960 best. Yeah. 390 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:24,319 For for for I guess when our children become adults even with 391 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,599 even looked after. Even with the best level of 392 00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:29,920 care, yeah, I still can't imagine being him. 393 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,680 Him being with a male, male, male. 394 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,160 You keep thinking about it too much and the thought process is 395 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,760 their comprehension that they understand that I'm I've 396 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,680 actually. That's the big one. 397 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,640 And I've not just left them or. Abandoned them. 398 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,240 That's the that's that's massive this. 399 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,200 Is why you, if you think about it too much, yeah. 400 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,920 That that's really. Yourself up in like, are they 401 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,280 genuinely going to think that I've just abandoned? 402 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,320 That really. Bothers me or will they know 403 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,640 that I've got? Will they know that I've will 404 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:59,000 they think that I've just left? Yeah, I I think I'd need some. 405 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:03,400 I think I'd need. Oh, I've never thought of this 406 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,080 before. I think I'd have to have 407 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:09,840 something written down to make sure he sees my, my dead body. 408 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,040 He'd need to see I'm. I haven't left him. 409 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,680 Oh. My God, do you do a pre? 410 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,160 Oh Jesus, do you do a pre recorded message? 411 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,640 I'll play this when I'm dead. I think so. 412 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,520 Hi Lydia, it's your dad here. I won't be. 413 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,360 I think so. I think that's a really. 414 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,760 Yeah, I think that's, I was going to say a good idea. 415 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,160 Yeah, I do think it's a good idea. 416 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:36,680 I think that's a really. Well what a shit perspective 417 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,480 that we have to have on growing old. 418 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:45,080 Yeah, I watched them. What is it called? 419 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,040 Not the Undateables because I hated that name. 420 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,920 What's it called? Love on the spectrum. 421 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:53,960 It's funny, you know, like undateables. 422 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,400 I used to love the Undateables till I had an autistic kid. 423 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,800 Then I hated the name. Yeah, strange, isn't it? 424 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,040 I thought. I thought, oh, Undateables. 425 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,360 Oh, this is great. And I I didn't think anything 426 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,040 negative about the programme itself. 427 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,320 No, but the the name flew straight over me. 428 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,120 But name. Now, now you know why we need to 429 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,240 change the name of the book. Yes, yes. 430 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,920 Yeah, words mean different things when you're affected by 431 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:24,840 Yeah. So yeah, like leaving a note. 432 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:27,880 That's an interesting note, yeah. 433 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,880 Leaving a pre recorded video, yeah. 434 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:31,960 Yeah, sorry. That that was it. 435 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,040 What was I saying? Love on the spectrum, the the 436 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,640 parents. There's something about the 437 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,880 parents consistently, unless they're just picking these 438 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,080 parents out, there's something about the parents where these 439 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,560 kids almost keep them young. Yeah, I can see that. 440 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:47,280 Have you noticed that they like, even when the one lad, he's got 441 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:54,480 parents that are maybe, I don't know, 75, maybe maybe pushing 442 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:55,560 80? Yeah. 443 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,480 And they are like, they're still young at heart because they 444 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,560 think they've had to be. I was going to say, you're not 445 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,280 allowed to grow old gracefully, are you? 446 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:03,680 No. You're not allowed to just 447 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,200 suddenly become a pensioner. No. 448 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,960 And and go, oh, I need to act in this manner anymore. 449 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:10,760 No. Yeah. 450 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,800 You still have to have the same vigour. 451 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,360 Yeah. And then, then this is God. 452 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:17,160 We are going down a rabbit hole here, aren't we? 453 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,560 Yeah. Then you've got to worry about 454 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:25,280 and we're, we're saying, you know, if we get to like 80 years 455 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:30,600 old, that means Lydia would be in her 40s, still relatively 456 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,080 young, but again, no idea what her comprehension will be. 457 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,440 And that's, that's us talking about. 458 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:42,480 We get to our 80s with our mind still intact and we just go like 459 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,400 that one, one day, you know, massive heart attack or you 460 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,960 know, you go in your sleep, wherever the case may be, and 461 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,040 you're gone. What's the average age in the 462 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,720 UK? Probably a year younger than 463 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:55,280 what the pension age is now, if the government have anything to 464 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,440 do. With age. 465 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:03,080 But then we're, we're talking about getting to now God, we're 466 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:07,080 talking about dying, but not having a long illness 467 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,120 beforehand. Oh, exactly. 468 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,960 You know what happens? We get dementia, Alzheimer's. 469 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,680 78.88 years. Old. 470 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,960 So we get to 80. But once if we get Alzheimer's 471 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:19,840 dementia, that's if you're lucky. 472 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,200 Yeah, that's if you're lucky. If we get Alzheimer's dementia, 473 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:26,880 you know, something like this. And we can't then look after our 474 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,000 child or we start to forget we've had a child. 475 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,520 Yeah, and. We don't recognise, you know 476 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,760 this. And by the time and that's 477 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,000 potentially let's say that you get to 80. 478 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,080 Yeah. Well, how long have they got 479 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,480 left without you? It's not like the 10 years 480 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,000 behind you. No. 481 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,680 Or the five years behind you. No, they could make it, you 482 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:51,160 know, equally as long it's a it's. 483 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:53,720 A. And This is why we don't think 484 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:54,880 about. It This is why we don't think 485 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,880 about it, because already I've got more and more. 486 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,520 Things while we've sat here, we think about it all the time. 487 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,120 We've just in this bit, we've just thought of more things. 488 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,000 More things to now which I can't. 489 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,200 Push. I've never thought, oh, 490 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,880 someone's going to have to show Thomas my dead body so he knows 491 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,400 I haven't left him. Or like you've just said there, 492 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,040 I'm going to have to leave a Death Note saying, by the way, I 493 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,680 didn't leave. I love you. 494 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,200 I'm sorry this has happened. Can you play this for them 495 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,360 please? Yeah, and such and such is going 496 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:20,720 to look after you from that from now on. 497 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,280 Yeah, sorry, your dad couldn't save any money. 498 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,840 Fuel prices are too much and he couldn't put any money on it 499 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:27,800 for. You yeah, this is it. 500 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:32,440 Yeah, absolutely. So it's just it's just so many 501 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,360 so many things. But again, going back to that 502 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:40,120 that lady's point, we all start from kind of one point, don't 503 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:42,080 we? And if you have a high 504 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:48,400 functioning, an autistic child, you're a diverse child, your 505 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,320 life is still not where you planned it to be. 506 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,320 It's still going to be kind of that element of extra care and 507 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,240 that you're fighting for for your child. 508 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:03,000 But it seems to be sometimes maybe competition is not the 509 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,640 right word to use, but there seems to be kind of a top 510 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:13,920 Trump's on who's got it hardest in the community, which, yeah, I 511 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,440 understand because you're so invested. 512 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,160 You don't want anybody to say you haven't. 513 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,600 You haven't had it hard or tried. 514 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,680 No, but. I don't think anybody is within 515 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,560 the community, not only the community is saying shut up, my 516 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,600 life's harder than yours, stop moaning, my life's harder than 517 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,040 yours. I think we're all very much and 518 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:35,080 and we've, we've met a lot of people with very different needs 519 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:40,520 and I've not seen anybody. I'd fucking block him if I did. 520 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,680 Who said anything negative as far as another parent's 521 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:50,880 struggles, Everyone just tries to help, even if it's blatantly 522 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,360 obvious that like you wouldn't say it, but you're like, OK, 523 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:56,640 that's a that's a struggle for you. 524 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,240 Fuck, you know, you want to live my life. 525 00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:01,360 Like you might think it, you might think it, but you don't 526 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:03,000 because you realise, like you just said there, it's all 527 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,280 relative. Like everyone struggles are 528 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,560 their struggles and it is hard for them because they don't know 529 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,520 any different. I've talked about that before, 530 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,400 you know, like those those days when we were first struggling 531 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,960 and we spoke to other parents and they explained their 532 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,720 struggle. And so we were like, oh, OK, I'm 533 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,640 going to shut up. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 534 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,400 Stop moaning now because holy shit. 535 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:27,240 But yeah, it's and, and again, the people that are most vocal 536 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:33,120 are usually autistic. And I again, I think they're 537 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,960 trying to, they want to be seen. Yeah. 538 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,040 They want to be seen. And they feel like they're not. 539 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,120 Yeah. And but in our community, you 540 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,440 are like you are seen. Yeah, 100 percent, 100% you are 541 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,560 seen. Yeah, it's true though. 542 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:50,920 I mean and, and say if you're high functioning, we've we've 543 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,880 had this before where we've had a bit of interaction with adults 544 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:59,400 that are high functioning autistic and they'll they'll 545 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:00,960 kind of put their their point across. 546 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,280 And I totally, I totally get it and why they want to put their 547 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:09,800 point across, but they're often want to be the spokespeople. 548 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,880 Oh yeah. But then again, I think about 549 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,720 it. But but then Lydia and Thomas 550 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,720 can't be spokespeople for the community because no, they may 551 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,200 never, no, no be able to communicate effectively. 552 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,800 So there's only one group of people that aren't. 553 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,640 Going to be no, that's actually really nice. 554 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,120 It's quite, it's quite nice that you've got people that are 555 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,520 actually autistic because as parents, if we're not autistic, 556 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,160 we don't know which like to be autistic. 557 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,480 So we could speak for our kids, but what better than an autistic 558 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:38,960 adult, especially sometimes if it's been like even if a child's 559 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,840 been non verbal, but then they became verbal as an adult. 560 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,760 The amount of times that you go, my kids doing this and they go, 561 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,120 I used to do that, it's because of this, this, this and this and 562 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,960 you go, thank you, that's brilliant. 563 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:55,520 My issue is only when these people speak for the whole 564 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,320 community and it's in a negative, it's not being 565 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,360 helpful. It's just don't do this because 566 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,200 it's offensive to this, this, this, this and this. 567 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,080 And you're like, is it? Or is it just offensive to you? 568 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,520 Because you're now saying that everybody's offended by the 569 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:13,120 thing you're offended by. And they might be, but it's not 570 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:15,760 necessarily the case. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's. 571 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,880 But then again, yeah, I, I, I we've seen, we've seen the 572 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:20,800 interactions. We know. 573 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,120 Yeah. But again, it's it's we need, 574 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,800 you know, high functioning autistic people to kind of relay 575 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,400 information because if it wasn't that prime example you gave 576 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:36,200 there was like, we know adults who are autistic that were non 577 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,320 verbal maybe up to the age of eight or something like that. 578 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,000 And those are the ones that came out and goes. 579 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,640 Do you know what guys? I might have been non verbal to 580 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,640 the age of 8. I heard everything you were 581 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:45,040 saying. Yeah. 582 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:49,160 You know, from from the age of age of three, you know, you 583 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,560 know, I, you know, I was, I thought I was trying to 584 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:52,840 communicate with you. I couldn't get it through. 585 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:53,920 But I heard everything you were saying. 586 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,480 And, you know, that's the moment we go, holy shit. 587 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,880 Don't speak about them in front of them, you know, as if they're 588 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,600 not there because they're clearly kind of taking it all 589 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,360 in. But yeah, it's it's it's kind of 590 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,600 wanting to speak on behalf of the entire community. 591 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:14,760 And sometimes there's, I can see why because this is kind of 592 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:18,640 element of who's got it hardest. Are you trying to downplay the 593 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,040 struggles that I've gone through? 594 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,600 Absolutely not. Even high functioning, you 595 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,960 wonder, is high functioning something to say? 596 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,960 Look, who am I to say? Yeah, you're high functioning. 597 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,360 And then we're talking about profound on the other end and 598 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,640 they're going well, it's your struggles hard. 599 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,920 You know, it's no, we're not taken away. 600 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,600 Absolutely no one deserves to have their struggles taken away. 601 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,000 No, absolutely not. No. 602 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,520 But don't assume that's what we're doing. 603 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,520 I think that's the problem. If there's like this assumption 604 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,680 that we are trying to do that and we're not, most people 605 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:47,520 aren't. But the other thing as well is, 606 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:52,400 I suppose a lot of these autistic adults, they've grown 607 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,280 up as children where there was even less support, believe it or 608 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:56,440 not, than there is now. Yeah. 609 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,520 So they've grown up through a system that was even worse than 610 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,400 this. Yeah, and that's saying 611 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,240 something. Yeah, exactly. 612 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,880 So you can understand they might have a lot of frustrations 613 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:10,000 because they they haven't had the support, especially the high 614 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,240 functioning because if the kids that are in the grey zone now 615 00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:15,640 the the send between us, whatever you want to call them 616 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,840 now imagine what it was like for a send between 20-30 years ago. 617 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,360 Wasn't even on the radar. Well, I think, I think we could 618 00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:26,720 probably imagine some people that we knew at school that now 619 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,120 we go, oh shit, yeah, yeah, 100%, you know, 100%. 620 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,680 They were never considered Inbetweeners then. 621 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,680 No, but they, but we did see the struggles. 622 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,520 Yeah, absolutely. And even now I'm thinking, I 623 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,200 wonder what they're doing. I wonder if they're doing 624 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:39,720 anything. Are they still alive? 625 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:44,120 Because you kind of go, oh, that would have been rough. 626 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:48,200 Yeah, we've, we've all kind of heard stories of not necessary 627 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,160 people that we went to school with, maybe similar year groups 628 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:55,120 that around the town in different schools who 629 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,560 unfortunately are no longer with us because they've taken extreme 630 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,040 action. We had a couple of suicides at 631 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,720 school back in the 90s. In hindsight, you think I 632 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,480 wonder. Yeah, the struggles are real. 633 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,920 Yeah, yeah. And a lot of the behaviours just 634 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:12,000 seemed like they were naughty kids from maybe from a rough 635 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:13,600 well. Even even us as children, we, we 636 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,280 were conditioned just to believe they were naughty children. 637 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:16,480 Yeah, that's it. Yeah. 638 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:17,920 Because it wasn't it. Wasn't a thing. 639 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:18,760 It's. Very black and white. 640 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,360 Wasn't a thing Rain Man, that was autism. 641 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,120 ADHD was too many E numbers. Do you remember? 642 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:24,560 That Oh yeah, yeah. Sunny delight. 643 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:25,800 ADHD. Yeah, exactly. 644 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,800 ADHD was you've had too many E numbers was. 645 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,440 It the smarties different colour smarties What the? 646 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:33,160 Fucking E number is yeah, but like that, that was ADHD. 647 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,840 Don't give them sweets because it'll give them ADHD. 648 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,000 Too many aspirin? Yeah. 649 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,280 Oh yeah, so aspirin is autism, Skittles is ADHD. 650 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:46,160 Yeah, absolutely. So it's a, it's a but yeah, it's 651 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:47,680 a crazy one. And you know, we're talking 652 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,080 about what's happened in the last 30 years. 653 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,920 You know, we Fast forward another 30 years, Is it going to 654 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,240 be better? Fucking hope so. 655 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:55,320 Who knows? We'll. 656 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:56,600 Be more autistic people. That's for. 657 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,920 Sure, there'll be more prisons as well. 658 00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,720 Yeah. Yeah. 659 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:05,600 It's just, yeah, it's a difficult one to to look at, but 660 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,120 I think the key thing is everyone struggles is relative. 661 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,000 Yeah, it's it's completely relative. 662 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,080 You're not. You're not leading the life that 663 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,120 you thought you were going to have when your child was born. 664 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:16,720 No. And nobody can say. 665 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,680 I mean this is like I mean mesh talk about it is quite a lot. 666 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:25,320 But you, you cannot say how you would handle a situation without 667 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,760 being. So I think Thomas's life is hard 668 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:33,880 now and we've had our struggles and he is super duper autistic 669 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:37,320 and our life is completely ruled by him, as yours will be with 670 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:38,800 Lydia. Like every. 671 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,720 You didn't even realise it. Everything you do in your life 672 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,920 is, is to do with your kid. And you don't even realise until 673 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:47,560 somebody goes, sorry. You're doing what? 674 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,320 Yeah. And they're like, that's crazy. 675 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:50,720 And you're like, oh, yeah, it isn't it? 676 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:54,560 However, if I was in, if I was in the shoes of a parent with a 677 00:30:55,920 --> 00:31:00,160 high functioning child with an ADHD and they're fighting the 678 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,720 system, I don't know if I'd cope. 679 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,320 No, I really don't. I have no idea. 680 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,880 Constant battle with your local authority? 681 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:10,680 No. I mean, I know what it's like 682 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,240 when I'm having a constant battle with Amazon doing work 683 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,960 and I'm asking pretty straightforward questions and 684 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:20,280 they give me copy pasted responses and that's just Amazon 685 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,360 and I'm working for a client. Now imagine something similar 686 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:28,240 about your child who's disabled and you're getting kind of copy 687 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,200 and pasted bullshit responses back or they're lying to you 688 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,520 about something they say you're like you did say such and such. 689 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,360 No I didn't. And you didn't have the phone 690 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,800 recording them during the meeting because you didn't think 691 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,720 you'd need to because you trusted them. 692 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,040 Like dealing with all that shit. I don't know if I cope. 693 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:46,840 No. I really don't. 694 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,160 But you can't prepare for it, can you? 695 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,400 Like you, you, you can't get the heads up going or your child's 696 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,360 gonna be autistic and then spend the next couple of years before 697 00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,920 they're even conceived going. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna become an 698 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,560 expert in this. Field before you're even 699 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,160 pregnant. Yeah, I'm gonna become an expert 700 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,960 in this field. And no, it's it's literally the 701 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,120 shittest apprenticeship out there, isn't it? 702 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,320 You're just learning on the job. Proper shit. 703 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,840 And you, you have to make mistake after mistake after 704 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,520 mistake, yeah. And then that you start to 705 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,960 become wise or you, you, you bump into another parent. 706 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,680 It's like you know it's ahead of the on the journey. 707 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:21,240 Then you are and they just go. Try this instead or don't forget 708 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,640 to go down this route and get this application. 709 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,320 That's the real value of the community, isn't? 710 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,560 That that is because that's the only way you really start to get 711 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:32,160 to grips with it. You know if you isolated and you 712 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,760 you don't reach out, it's going to be 1 awful. 713 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:36,320 Yeah, that, that's. Awful. 714 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,960 That is the value in the community side of it is, is 715 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,480 essentially it's the same with anything work or hobbies or 716 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:45,520 anything like that. You make so many mistakes that 717 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:46,720 hopefully other people don't have to. 718 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,160 You know, you learn through fucking up constantly. 719 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,160 And then when somebody sends a message in the group or or drops 720 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,400 it in our in our community on Discord or you know, the the 721 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,240 stem and whistle, somebody asks a question, somebody can very 722 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:01,480 often go, yeah, yeah, skip all of that bullshit. 723 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:02,960 Don't do that because this will happen. 724 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:04,200 Don't do that because this will happen. 725 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:05,760 Don't do that. Go straight to this. 726 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,880 And it's kind of just kind of save a lot of people from pain 727 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,680 and anguish that they don't need to go through. 728 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:12,800 Yeah. And I think the good thing is 729 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,920 that everybody in this community wants to help everybody else. 730 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:16,760 No one's like they do. Yeah. 731 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,400 No one's like Rd blocking stuff or holding stuff back. 732 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:20,880 They're like, no, do this, do this. 733 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,920 I was going to say like what everybody wants to help, but but 734 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,040 there's like a real, but we all appreciate the pain that you can 735 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:31,000 potentially be going through. It's like everybody is like 736 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,560 super just they really want to help. 737 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,320 And it's not their case. And that goes back to the first 738 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:41,760 point, is that 99.9% of the time everyone does that because they 739 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:45,680 see the struggle the person's going through in themselves. 740 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,000 Yeah, that's what they've been. They've been there. 741 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,960 They know how hard it is. The sleepless nights, the tears, 742 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,960 the frustration, the anger. Yeah, they've seen it all. 743 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:57,480 That's why that's why I, like Mitch likes helping with the 744 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,280 communication cards or like I like trying to help people with 745 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,240 sleep stuff or whatever it is. If something you've been through 746 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,120 and it was an absolutely fucking nightmare and you managed to 747 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:09,360 nail it, you want to share that because you can really 748 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:13,320 appreciate how absolutely mind numbing it is and and how much 749 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,719 it puts strain on relationships. And I mean, that's like a 750 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:22,159 massive 1. But yeah, it's God, it's hard in 751 00:34:22,159 --> 00:34:24,000 it. Yeah. 752 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:26,120 And so many people are going through it. 753 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:28,120 It's amazing still. You know how many pluck up the 754 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,080 Facebook, for example? Like people still find us on 755 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:34,880 Facebook and they send and and they still haven't found a 756 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,199 community. Yeah. 757 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,239 And I think part of that is that you don't necessarily want the 758 00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:42,920 community early on. Early on, I think you just kind 759 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:44,800 of want to shut yourself down and. 760 00:34:45,679 --> 00:34:47,679 I think earlier on you're still getting your head around it. 761 00:34:47,679 --> 00:34:50,280 Yeah. And so then reach out to lots of 762 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:54,320 different people is like accepting it maybe before you're 763 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,040 ready to accept. It it's a bit like agreeing to 764 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,680 send your kid to a specialist school. 765 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:02,240 Oh man. When yeah, you really don't want 766 00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:04,720 to because you've. Once. 767 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:06,000 Yeah, I've. I went through that. 768 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,040 You probably went through this. Maybe not the same. 769 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:09,520 Maybe. I did do this going to a 770 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,200 specialist school. I wanted a specialist school. 771 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,160 And I walked around. I was like, but these kids are 772 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,400 like super disabled. They're like these kids who are 773 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,160 Down syndrome and these kids are in wheelchairs. 774 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,960 I was like, Thomas doesn't need to go. 775 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:23,760 Yeah, I mean, he did. And he's but it's, it's jarring. 776 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,160 Yeah, we did all the mainstream schools. 777 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,960 Yeah. Went around those and, and met 778 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,240 various people and I went around a couple of specialist schools. 779 00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:36,720 And deep down I knew she needed to go into a specialist setting. 780 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:41,520 I knew, I knew that was going to be the decision because I'd, I'd 781 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:45,000 accepted the autism earlier on. I spotted it, you know, very, 782 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,920 very early. But there was something, it just 783 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,840 felt final. Something very, very. 784 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:56,440 This is it by saying, right, she has to go to a specialist 785 00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:57,600 school. It's like, right, That's it. 786 00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:58,720 There's no coming back from this. 787 00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:00,640 No. I mean, I even had stories in my 788 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,000 head like, you know, if she gets to a certain age and she's in a 789 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,200 specialist school and she's overachieving, what would you go 790 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:07,720 into? And, you know, you kind of put 791 00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:09,360 these little scenarios in your head like, oh, she might 792 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:10,920 overachieve and then she'll be in the mainstream school and 793 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,440 then all this will be a distant memory and we can laugh about 794 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:14,640 it. Do you? 795 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,680 Remember when she went to that special school with all the 796 00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:17,880 disabled kids? Yeah. 797 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:23,400 But yeah, this, I don't know, it's very, it's a defining 798 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:27,240 moment when you go right, It has to be a specialist school. 799 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,840 It can't be mainstream. This this is the route we must 800 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,520 go down for them to again achieve their potential, 801 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:37,640 whatever that looks like. So yeah, I absolutely get that. 802 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,560 Yeah, yeah. And maybe it's the same we'd 803 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,080 like you say with with kind of reaching out to people in the 804 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,880 community as we as we now a couple of years in, we're not 805 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,160 exactly veterans, but we're you know, we're a few years in. 806 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,560 But yeah, we earlier on, you know, we've. 807 00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:55,840 Got a lot of people through it. Yeah, because you, I, I at the 808 00:36:55,840 --> 00:37:00,840 start, all your, most of your friends, you know, if they've 809 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,320 got children, you know, 9 times out of 10 they're probably going 810 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,080 to be neurotypical or family. You've got children then they're 811 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,280 all, it's all going well. Will your mates stand in a pub 812 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,320 or your friends at work or colleagues? 813 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,040 Everything's kind of a normal. Shall I put inverted commas? 814 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:18,320 Normal. Yeah, absolutely neurotypical 815 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,320 life. And then you're starting to pull 816 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,000 back a bit because your life's different. 817 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,320 It's very hard then just to because you're so used to kind 818 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,760 of becoming more and more insular, closing yourself off. 819 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,280 Before you know it, you're in this kind of weird bubble. 820 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,480 But then just kind of burst out with that and reach out to 821 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,800 somebody who's a stranger and just go, I'm going to talk to 822 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,160 you about the, the thing that upsets me the most and keeps me 823 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,720 up at night and it's got all my fears and worries in it. 824 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:45,880 I'm just going to go out to a stranger and just say, what 825 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,480 about this? And even though the person 826 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,240 you're speaking to go, I've been there. 827 00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:51,040 I've done it. Yeah. 828 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,800 Come along, you know, let's let's have a chat or I'll tell 829 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,240 you about it. If you want any questions, you 830 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:57,760 can, you can ask. But it's that kind of humans 831 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,520 have to go inwards before you're ready to go back outwards. 832 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:01,600 Yeah. And speak to people. 833 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,720 We have people in the in the discord that are a bit like that 834 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:06,440 where they join because they want to be there for the 835 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,840 conversations, but they don't want to participate in the 836 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,400 conversations, which is totally fine. 837 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,120 Just just be there and read stuff. 838 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,960 And but that again, that's just not that acceptance yet to step 839 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,360 in. I'm just going to watch from the 840 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,280 out skirts and just see what you're all talking about. 841 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:22,320 And I think as situations happen and like the one channel we did 842 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,600 called, what did we call it? We got one for wins and then we 843 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,080 got epic fails. And the, the great thing about 844 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:31,440 the epic fails is anybody can see us all having dark humour, 845 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,560 talking about all the horrendous shit that's going on. 846 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,640 And people can see, OK, these guys are having a laugh about 847 00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:43,400 that thing that ain't funny. And I think that's when people 848 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,720 start going, hey, I'm going to share my story now. 849 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,760 Because I mean, even when people message and they ask questions, 850 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,880 sometimes the only way I get them into the Discord, which 851 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,680 again is a free community, I'm not, I'm not getting them in 852 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:56,800 there because they've got to pay anything. 853 00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,320 The way I get them in is they ask a question and I'm like, 854 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:02,200 they're not saying they want, they don't want to share a 855 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:03,880 story. They've just got a problem. 856 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,560 And then when I had to fix it and they couldn't find any other 857 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,160 way. And you can even tell even them 858 00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,760 asking the question, it's like, shit, I'm going to have to ask 859 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:15,160 these guys for help because they don't really want to in that 860 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:16,480 group. Like you don't want your kid in 861 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,480 especially school. It's like once I participate in 862 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:24,560 this group, I'm now admitting I'm part of this group and I get 863 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,240 them and say, listen, I can answer your question. 864 00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:27,440 I'll answer it. By the way, if you've got any 865 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,400 other questions, we've got this Discord group and there's 866 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:33,720 parents in there that know way more than me and Andy and that 867 00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:36,440 then they go in and that's when they just kind of sit there and 868 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,080 go, oh, these guys are just chatting shit. 869 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:39,560 This is fun. Yeah, the Discord group, man, 870 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:43,200 it's, it's great because you can just, it's free. 871 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:47,960 The links in the bio somewhere, the link tree bio, Yeah. 872 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,640 And just go in there, join it. It's free. 873 00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:52,880 But yeah, there's, there's people that are joined and 874 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:54,040 they'll just sit on the periphery. 875 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,200 Yeah, just watching, like reading the conversation. 876 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,920 Oh my God, I recognise that. Yeah. 877 00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:01,360 Oh, that's a decent bit of advice about potty training or 878 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,640 something like that, or sleep. And then, you know, we might 879 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,360 give it a couple of months and you just slightly see them 880 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,200 going. Well, they responded to 881 00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,240 someone's question, now they're offering advice. 882 00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:12,480 So yeah, it's it's like good and you. 883 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,040 Don't make a thing, you go. I see you. 884 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:15,680 I see you now. Yeah, you are. 885 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:16,520 You're in. Yeah. 886 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,600 You're in, you're saying stuff. You've been indoctrinated into 887 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,320 the autism world, Got ya, yes. Got ya. 888 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,320 But it's nice because like, it's exactly like that. 889 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,000 It's just they they've sat on the 8th scares and then they've 890 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,880 suddenly felt like, oh, actually I can really help with that. 891 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:30,480 Yeah. And then they and then they help 892 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:32,600 and they realised the person's appreciated it. 893 00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:34,320 And that then makes you. Oh, this feels good. 894 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,520 Yeah, Yeah, this is, this is a good thing to be a part of, 895 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:38,880 especially when they could genuinely help people. 896 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,800 Yeah, absolutely. And you don't need to leave your 897 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,280 house to do it. You could just be sat on the 898 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:43,800 sofa, sat on your arse, sat on the toilet. 899 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,520 That's anywhere you want to be actually. 900 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:48,280 Yeah, probably sat on the toilet if you want to try and get 10 901 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,240 minutes peace and quiet. Yeah, absolutely. 902 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:56,280 But it is, it is, it is good and it's but everything is relative. 903 00:40:56,480 --> 00:41:01,080 It's it's, it's literally, you know, high functioning, low 904 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:05,200 functioning profound, you know, it really, it really doesn't 905 00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:06,560 matter from a parent's point of view. 906 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:07,760 You're in the same boat, are you? 907 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,920 Yeah. You know, the struggles that we 908 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,400 go through are different to somebody that, you know, has 909 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,800 potentially got a kid that's ascend between and that can go 910 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,920 to a mainstream school. Yet again. 911 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,960 The educational struggles they might be going through in terms 912 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,080 of getting the the right sort of education package for their 913 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:25,240 child is completely different to how easy and averted of commerce 914 00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:27,800 it was for us because of the profound, you know, how profound 915 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:31,120 are children's autism was. So there's, you know, one hand 916 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,360 it gives the other hand it takes. 917 00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:36,000 So the struggle is extremely relative and real to that 918 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:36,960 parent. Yeah. 919 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,040 You're still not going through the journey that you 920 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:44,200 anticipated, No at the start. That, that Discord, I mean, 921 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,120 we've got a Facebook group as well, which obviously is a bit 922 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,040 more accessible because Facebook in it. 923 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:56,200 That Discord is, it's just like a bunch of mates now. 924 00:41:56,760 --> 00:42:00,560 It's like it's stir and whistle. Same people are always in there 925 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,400 at the weekend and you know, people are dropping message in, 926 00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,960 in, in the bar. Anyone in the stir and whistle 927 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,000 tonight? Yeah, yeah, I'll be in there at 928 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,200 9:00. And and it's just, it's just 929 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:12,400 nice like, and we're getting to know, we're getting to know 930 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:16,200 people's kids as well, you know, via their parents as a proxy. 931 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,360 We're kind of getting to know, you know, like, you know Mick, 932 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:23,480 she's got twins and you know, Rebecca's boys and you know, 933 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,480 it's. No. 934 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,960 One of the guys in there, he's like making apps. 935 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:29,280 Oh. Really. 936 00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,720 Yeah, he's making, he's making, he's making. 937 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:35,480 Oh, this app. Sorry, if you don't want, I'm 938 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,840 not going to share it in case there's like giving away ideas. 939 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,520 But it's a really cool app. I'll tell you about it later. 940 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,760 But he's like creating apps for for kids with, you know, autism 941 00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:46,800 and stuff. And it's just like, this is cool 942 00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,240 and he's kind of sharing it in the group for people to test 8 943 00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:54,920 we need to get. We do need to. 944 00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,440 By the way guys, we've been useless the last couple of 945 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,360 weeks. Just work and and life and 946 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,320 stuff. Sorry. 947 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:06,760 Please hold caller. Is this our friend from 948 00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:10,000 Australia? Yeah, yeah, May time. 949 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:13,840 Thursday that yes, yeah, we can do that. 950 00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:14,840 Can't. We yeah, of course we can. 951 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,800 Yeah, I'm excited about this one. 952 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,200 This we. Won't say too much about it now, 953 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:23,320 but when when this does land in the UK. 954 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:27,440 Yeah, this is an app, guys. Yeah, it's for parents are going 955 00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:30,600 to see this as a game changer. Yeah, a real game changer 956 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:36,960 because you know how difficult it is to manage appointments, 957 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:40,200 letters. Yeah, communications with all 958 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,960 the various different bodies won't say too much, but he's 959 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,000 going to come on the on the podcast and take. 960 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,120 Everyone through it. And he will explain it like he 961 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,400 explained it to us, yeah. And we were just like, holy 962 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,480 shit, because. We get contacted quite a lot 963 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,560 about can you do this or would you mind pushing this product? 964 00:43:56,560 --> 00:44:00,640 And you know, we can't say yes to everything and it has to be 965 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:02,280 exceptional. So we thought, well, we'll jump 966 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:03,680 on the. Yeah, because ultimately, yeah, 967 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,880 it's, they're going to be trying to sell stuff to our, our, our 968 00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:09,360 listeners, you know, our community. 969 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:12,320 Absolutely. No, unless it's worth. 970 00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:15,160 It unless it's, you know, worth it just simply because as 971 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:18,440 parents we were burnt very early on yeah, just chucking money in 972 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,360 desperation at anything that we thought made. 973 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,720 Hills and potions. Just everything. 974 00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:25,160 Yeah. You know, it's like being a 975 00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:28,000 florist and someone mentions weddings and then you can go, 976 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,240 yeah, or Valentine's Day and you can go. 977 00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:32,680 Exactly. There's like any product. 978 00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:36,280 And you mention autism, they go, yes, here's an extra naughty on 979 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,360 the end of it. Please buy it. 980 00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:39,480 And you do. And you do? 981 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,160 Yeah. Because you're desperate and 982 00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:42,560 you'll throw any amount of money. 983 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:46,240 Yeah, this scent trampoline. This this send trampoline must 984 00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:47,440 get rid of autism. Yeah. 985 00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:48,400 Cool. I'm buying it. 986 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,000 Yeah. £600 Wait a minute, it's the same one in Argos. 987 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,000 Must which quid? Yeah, but it's got send in. 988 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:53,760 Front of them. Oh, there you go. 989 00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,000 Spend the extra money. But this will be it's gonna be 990 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,520 so good when we do this episode. It's fantastic. 991 00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,200 Yeah, it genuinely is fantastic. And I am geared up. 992 00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:03,480 I really want to use. It. 993 00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:04,920 Yeah, absolutely. So I think. 994 00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,120 We are going to be Guinea pigs, aren't? 995 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:07,040 We. I hope so. 996 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,160 Yeah, I hope so. Yeah, absolutely. 997 00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,200 Just give us 5% equity in the business. 998 00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,000 It's going to take off. You can tell us stuff. 999 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:17,080 I think he will. Yeah, I don't blame him either, 1000 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:17,840 because. Absolutely not it. 1001 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,120 Is awesome and it's going to and. 1002 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,080 The story behind it is superb. Yeah, it's it's. 1003 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:26,480 Very good. So he'll be on in May, which is 1004 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,480 a couple of weeks after the marathon. 1005 00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:32,320 Yeah, if you didn't know, guys, we're doing the London Marathon. 1006 00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:33,720 Yes. We're asking for money. 1007 00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:35,720 We're just moaning that. Yeah, just listen to his bitch 1008 00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:39,280 and moaning you. Do want to donate to the London 1009 00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,840 Marathon? For us, we're raising money for 1010 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,120 Ambitious about autism. As we've mentioned many, many 1011 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:48,520 times before, we're proud to say we've achieved the target that 1012 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,680 we were. Proud to say we've been training 1013 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:54,000 art, no? No, at least at least we've 1014 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,040 raised some money. Sean's been training for art. 1015 00:45:56,040 --> 00:46:00,040 Sean's been training for both of us, but no, I mean it. 1016 00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,640 Any, any, anything you can spare would be greatly appreciated. 1017 00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:07,440 It's two weeks under 2 weeks now until we run. 1018 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,400 Yep, Yep. Happy days. 1019 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,200 I'm not looking forward to it at all. 1020 00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:15,880 I said to you off air before we started. 1021 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,040 I. Am Well, yes, like thinking 1022 00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:18,680 about the marathon. I'm thinking about my future 1023 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:23,320 with Thomas. Jesus, I honestly don't know. 1024 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,680 I'm hoping I can make it round. God, that'd be horrible. 1025 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:28,920 Wouldn't. It is there a cut off time where 1026 00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,800 they're just like, look guys. I think at some point the roads 1027 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:36,520 open, yeah. So we're just going to be 1028 00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,320 dodging fucking taxi. I'll tell you what, if I'm, if 1029 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:40,760 I'm still, I'll say I was just say running. 1030 00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,800 If I'm still walking around that track when the roads open, I'll 1031 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,160 fucking catch a bus. What's a good marathon time? 1032 00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,480 What's a shit marathon time? So I know I'm at least. 1033 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,320 I don't know. Man, it's going to be So what we 1034 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,720 did the the half I did in two hours 8. 1035 00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:00,080 I think mine was 2 1/2. Double that is going to be 1036 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,480 nowhere. I'm trying to keep that pace up. 1037 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,320 You said something good though, like running for 9 minutes and 1038 00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:06,960 then walking for. A minute, No, I think, yeah, 1039 00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,760 something similar I think. I think it was like run for 4 1040 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:13,320 minutes, walk for one and just do that from the off apparently. 1041 00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,520 And it said, you know, that may help. 1042 00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:21,240 And the risk is a lot of people get giddy at the start. 1043 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,040 They caught up with the adrenaline, the emotion and go 1044 00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:24,960 off. I'm going to go. 1045 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,000 Off now I did on the off man, I was like I'm going to run my 1046 00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,440 Vandy and then the go went and I was like boy, Andy and. 1047 00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,920 Then and then people feel so good because they they're 1048 00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:33,880 feeling amazing. And then they get to a certain 1049 00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,760 point and then reality hits them and goes, Nah, yeah. 1050 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:41,440 So it's just like if you do this, you know, a lot of people 1051 00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,560 hit this certain wall. I think we'll hit this wall. 1052 00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:45,960 But some people go, you know, reach halfway around the 1053 00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:47,480 marathon and start really feeling it. 1054 00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:51,920 Whereas if you set yourself off like this from literally from 1055 00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:55,760 the start, so he was like, yeah, all right, 4 minutes walk one 1056 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,080 and just do that throughout then you know, it should help. 1057 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,920 It might be utter bullshit, but we're about to find out. 1058 00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:02,600 Might. Be utter bollocks. 1059 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,080 Sure, he did a half marathon yesterday. 1060 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,120 Didn't. He he did just for fun. 1061 00:48:05,240 --> 00:48:07,200 We we said in the last podcast that he was just doing it for 1062 00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:08,240 fun. He's still doing it for fun. 1063 00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:09,080 I don't. Know how he's doing? 1064 00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:10,760 It half marathon yesterday. I don't know how he's and he's 1065 00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:12,000 like running around with his camera smiling. 1066 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,720 What's his, what's his channel? Is it runner Sean? 1067 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,080 Something like that? If, if, if, if the guy has 1068 00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:19,240 become a machine and he's just going to carry on doing these 1069 00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:22,240 charity runs. So if you get the chance, do 1070 00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:27,360 follow his account but. He's just absolute, absolute 1071 00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:29,720 legend runner, underscore, Sean, give him a follow. 1072 00:48:29,720 --> 00:48:33,840 He's his plan and I think it's a fucking good plan. 1073 00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:38,360 It's just to do loads of runs for charity, yeah. 1074 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,880 Just. Raise money for Children. 1075 00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:42,800 I think the other one he did was it for cancer. 1076 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:43,480 Cancer. Yeah. 1077 00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,040 So give him a follow guy. He's just a lovely guy. 1078 00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:51,120 He was on the Christmas special. And episode before then as well, 1079 00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,120 yeah. Yes, he was, because he was 1080 00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:53,840 here. He was that here. 1081 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:56,320 But yeah, lovely. But. 1082 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,000 Either way, the only thing that's keeping me going is 1083 00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,960 obviously raising money, but it doesn't matter what time I 1084 00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,480 finish because it'll still be a personal best because I've never 1085 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:06,080 done 1. Before. 1086 00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:07,320 That's such a good way of thinking. 1087 00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:11,280 So even if it is 12 hours PB, they've sent a search party out 1088 00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,520 for me, it's still a personal best. 1089 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,480 Yeah, hitting a PB. Really. 1090 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:16,400 Yeah. What was your last one? 1091 00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:17,320 It wasn't. This is just. 1092 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,640 Well, that's the that I won't mention times, I'll just say I 1093 00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:20,960 did my PB. It's my PB. 1094 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,720 Just leave it at that. Leave it as my PB and ambition 1095 00:49:23,720 --> 00:49:25,360 about autism. They again talking about, you 1096 00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:27,080 know, arcades when they're, when they're adults, they've got 1097 00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,280 loads of support for autistic adults. 1098 00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,960 Haven't they so superb? And they're growing. 1099 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:35,240 Massively. So who's the other big one? 1100 00:49:35,240 --> 00:49:39,440 What's the other big charity? Is it the Autistic Society? 1101 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,720 I don't think so. National Autistic Society, Yeah. 1102 00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:44,960 Just on my head, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know. 1103 00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:49,400 So we're doing it for ambitious. That's how we did the Paris 1104 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:52,360 Paris one for we need to get the money, actually. 1105 00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:54,280 We do. I don't know if we've got enough 1106 00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:55,840 time. We've been, oh mate, we've been 1107 00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:57,280 so useless. We've got so many people. 1108 00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,240 We're supposed to get on here. I know. 1109 00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:02,240 You're trying to fit it all in, isn't? 1110 00:50:02,240 --> 00:50:03,760 It yeah, yeah, we've got a few like. 1111 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,200 Nice names as well. Nice names. 1112 00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,440 Yeah. And they're like, just want me 1113 00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:09,600 to come on And we're like, yeah, sorry. 1114 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,920 We're just fucking idiots. Yeah, they are so odd. 1115 00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,040 Yeah, it's so odd. Like even tonight coming in. 1116 00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,800 Sorry, this is probably shit for not on the podcast. 1117 00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:20,440 You know, this is shall be. I should be texting you this. 1118 00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:28,000 Yeah. Like doing your day job and then 1119 00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,680 stuff at home and then doing this podcast. 1120 00:50:31,720 --> 00:50:35,520 It's a slog, man. Like getting home and then I 1121 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:37,760 really should be doing this on the podcast. 1122 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,080 Oh well. I should just say this is a 1123 00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:41,880 voicemail. Maybe this is really hard. 1124 00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,760 This is so hard. These are our voice notes to 1125 00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,280 each other. Hi, Andy. 1126 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:54,240 But I'd come in here setting this up and then getting home 1127 00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:57,240 and then editing it and then you post in the clips responding to 1128 00:50:57,240 --> 00:51:00,280 messages and getting shouted out for using pronames that we were 1129 00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:05,320 supposed to. Use it's, it's a learning curve, 1130 00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:06,800 isn't it? It's a learning curve. 1131 00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:08,360 It is. But yeah, yeah. 1132 00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,120 Well we we do need to get that's better organised. 1133 00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:13,120 Yeah, we do. If anyone wants to like beer, 1134 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,600 yeah, free because we make no money. 1135 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:21,600 Sorry, give us a shake. You guys are just using your 1136 00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:26,040 kids to make money. Seriously, if anybody does want 1137 00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:29,600 to be APA because they've got nothing better to do, we could. 1138 00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:30,880 We could. I don't know. 1139 00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:32,800 Oh, yeah. Buy your coffees and stuff, 1140 00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,480 Yeah. Buy your own coffee or. 1141 00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,800 That's what we need, man. We need someone. 1142 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,920 To We also need somebody, so you'd have to edit it. 1143 00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:46,120 Somebody that is a awesome editor that can take you to the 1144 00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:47,440 next level. Yeah, that'd be good. 1145 00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,720 Someone could do like some nice little videos at the beginning, 1146 00:51:49,720 --> 00:51:53,200 like an intro video, you know, all these professional podcasts 1147 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:54,120 tab. Do you know what it was? 1148 00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:58,040 I noticed it on the 20% hidden, 20% hidden 20% podcast, the 1149 00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,200 intro, and that was like, yeah, bastard. 1150 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,000 That's good. Ours is very much like, hey, 1151 00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:05,080 welcome to the next episode. Yeah, our intro is all right, 1152 00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:06,720 mate. Yeah, that's our intro. 1153 00:52:06,720 --> 00:52:09,040 Episode 34. Yeah, we need like we just need 1154 00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:13,400 to and if there's any investors out there who want to invest in 1155 00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:16,000 this, this, whatever this is, yeah. 1156 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:20,240 Do you want to because Jake, 30. WWW dot. 1157 00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,000 Yeah, or just. Do.com is it dot? 1158 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,600 Co.uk. Ohits.com, isn't it? 1159 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:30,840 We're international, we're all over the place worldwide #1 1160 00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:33,480 Zimbabwe. Dot com number one is Zimbabwe. 1161 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:34,760 Yeah, I think we hit #3 in South. 1162 00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,800 Korea, Malta was another. One, I think Malta, yeah, big 1163 00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:38,600 players in Malta, looking forward to the World Tour. 1164 00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:41,680 Not idea I just I just I love it mate I just. 1165 00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:42,320 Enjoyed it? No, it's. 1166 00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:43,480 Good. I just wish it wasn't such a 1167 00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:45,080 fucking slog. And I'm sorry that we didn't go 1168 00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:46,280 back to everyone in the messages. 1169 00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,520 I mean, I'm going to, I'm going to go in here now, right? 1170 00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:50,800 I'm going to go in and look at messages and yeah, fuck. 1171 00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,360 Honestly. There's so many messages. 1172 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,080 Oh. No. 1173 00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:58,400 And do you know what's really sad? 1174 00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:02,480 Like a lot of these. People say nice things. 1175 00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:05,640 People say nice things, some people it's opportunity. 1176 00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:11,720 So many messages and and on here. 1177 00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:17,440 I don't want to be like a like a name dropper, but like there's 1178 00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:20,160 some big names here and I need to. 1179 00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,200 Get back to them. Yeah, because. 1180 00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:24,240 It's just so nice that they've reached out. 1181 00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,960 Yeah, honestly. But it's just time. 1182 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,240 Yeah, it's literally it's just time. 1183 00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:36,440 Like like if a year ago, let's say when we first started, if I 1184 00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:39,160 knew we were going to get this many messages, I'd be like, oh, 1185 00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:40,600 amazing. Or we're going to reply to all 1186 00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,160 of those. I fucking. 1187 00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:44,360 Can't do you remember? We remember we were replying to 1188 00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:46,800 every single message. It'd be like every evening, like 1189 00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:49,160 a three hour slog each just trying to get through messages. 1190 00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:52,200 Yeah. Yeah. 1191 00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:55,680 It's it's hard, Yeah, but it's good. 1192 00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,040 Oh. Great, I love it. 1193 00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:58,560 Yeah. If anybody does want to be APA 1194 00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:00,920 for us for free, let us know. Yeah. 1195 00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,680 I mean, if we do ever make money, yeah, Joe, I'd love to do 1196 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,320 this. I said the other day in the in 1197 00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:12,920 the chat is like give a bit of equity in the podcast to people. 1198 00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:15,520 Yeah. Instead of being paid a wage, 1199 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:21,320 they get paid like in dividends so as as it grows they can make 1200 00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:22,760 some money in quarterly dividends. 1201 00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,120 Yeah, that'd be cool. That'd. 1202 00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,320 Be meant because then you've got like a team of people that are 1203 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:27,560 all invested. It's all. 1204 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:30,400 Got shit like when Facebook started, wasn't it that story 1205 00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:36,280 that went round where they got their first major HQ head office 1206 00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,000 sorted out and then what was some art doing on the walls? 1207 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:41,080 And I think they've got this, I can't remember if it's like a 1208 00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:42,560 street artist or something in there. 1209 00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,160 He came in like. A Banksy type. 1210 00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:46,600 Yeah. Or just somebody just like, 1211 00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:48,520 yeah, can you jazz up our offices and make them look like 1212 00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:53,200 Facebook ish? And then he came in and did it. 1213 00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:56,360 And I think they even he either asked or they gave him the 1214 00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:58,520 option like, do you want us to pay you or just give you a bit 1215 00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,360 of equity and. Or just take equity. 1216 00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,000 And he was like, ah, yeah, I just take the equity. 1217 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,160 And now he's like a multi millionaire just loving life. 1218 00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:06,360 So, so yeah. And when we. 1219 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:12,040 So to Andy's point, if you would like to be APA or you're a video 1220 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,600 editor and you just want to work for free for a while and we give 1221 00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:18,760 you some equity, and then when we're millionaires, you'll be 1222 00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:20,320 one too, let us know. Let us. 1223 00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:24,840 Know. But yeah, we've got some 1224 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:26,200 exciting stuff coming up this year. 1225 00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:30,520 Yeah, it's just been a very hectic first few months of. 1226 00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:36,240 The year and this marathon's just and we've got another thing 1227 00:55:36,240 --> 00:55:37,240 going on. We just won't talk about it. 1228 00:55:37,240 --> 00:55:40,400 We've got another thing we're doing, which is which is a big 1229 00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:46,120 deal to us and we've got that and we've got the marathon and 1230 00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,360 we've got something else coming up later in the year with some 1231 00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:54,520 other people who are awesome on kind of in the autism space. 1232 00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,280 So there's there's things we're doing, there's people we need on 1233 00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:01,520 the podcast that we need to get messages back to 1 today. 1234 00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:02,880 Need to message him back in a minute. 1235 00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:05,040 Absolute legend. Fucking hilarious as well. 1236 00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:10,320 So we need to just get a grip. But it is just, it's just, it's 1237 00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:12,280 hard. Yeah, because we're so fucking 1238 00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:13,520 busy. Sorry, I'll stop fucking moaning 1239 00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:15,800 there. But again, if you want to wait 1240 00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:16,360 for free, let's know. Oh. 1241 00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:18,160 You're trying to say your life is harder than mine. 1242 00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:24,680 No, that's not because it's not a competition. 1243 00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:27,400 It's not a competition, but if it was, I'd win. 1244 00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:33,200 Absolutely. OK mate I enjoyed that, that was 1245 00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:34,840 good. That was good guys. 1246 00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:40,280 Join the discord, join the Facebook group, join the 1247 00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:42,520 stemming whistle for £4 a month if you want to just start video 1248 00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:45,360 chats with us every weekend. It's good fun and everyone in 1249 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:48,480 there is just a legend. Please follow us on YouTube. 1250 00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:49,800 Don't know if we've mentioned that before. 1251 00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:52,840 Yes. Please, please follow us on 1252 00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:53,600 YouTube. Give it. 1253 00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:58,600 Just go and subscribe on YouTube, subscribe on Spotify. 1254 00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:02,080 Like turn the notifications off if you want, but just please 1255 00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:03,600 give us a follow. It would mean the world. 1256 00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:07,760 And again, if there's any investors out there that want to 1257 00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,080 give us money, that would be great, Yeah. 1258 00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:11,960 Absolutely. Or if you want to buy us a 1259 00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:13,400 coffee. If you just want to buy us 1260 00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:15,120 coffee, there's a link. There is a link. 1261 00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:20,320 You just want to buy us a brew. I did notice somebody did go to 1262 00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:24,440 buy me a coffee and they put 3 pint in there, which is great, 1263 00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:26,160 but it's only going to get one of us coffee. 1264 00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:30,440 So just saying like, you know. Cool if you're. 1265 00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:32,200 Going to buy a coffee. Buy us both 1. 1266 00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:36,040 Thank you very much. Yeah. 1267 00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:37,440 Thank you very. Much OK. 1268 00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:39,920 All right, thank you, mate. Absolute pleasure. 1269 00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:42,800 And you know, going back to start a conversation, we're all, 1270 00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:44,400 you know, as parents, we're all doing a great job, aren't we? 1271 00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:45,960 So just don't beat yourselves up. 1272 00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:48,400 Keep going, everyone. 'S doing ground and if we say 1273 00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:52,560 anything that triggers you, I always say this like intent 1274 00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:57,240 matters 100% a. 100%. If you hear something get said 1275 00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:01,080 and you before you get in the comments because it's hard 1276 00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:02,920 enough to read all the comments and the messages anyway. 1277 00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:06,960 So please comment if it's only worth commenting if you think 1278 00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:09,360 we've said something and our intent. 1279 00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:13,240 Is to, is to. Cause any kind of hurt or harm, 1280 00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:15,640 then drop us a message and a comment. 1281 00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:20,880 But if you think there was no malice or malintent at all, then 1282 00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:23,920 don't bother, because I guarantee you we do not want to 1283 00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:26,600 hurt anyone's feelings. 100% is not why we started this at. 1284 00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:31,960 All not at all. We just want to have fun, kind 1285 00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:36,240 of have a laugh at our own expense and hopefully make 1286 00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:38,400 everybody feel a little bit better about the shit time that 1287 00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:40,280 they might be having. Yeah, that's it. 1288 00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,720 It's, it's here to help people really, isn't it? 1289 00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:44,080 That's literally here to kind of that's. 1290 00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,840 Actually, the only reason I enjoy it, we really enjoy it. 1291 00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:48,520 The. Reason we enjoy it the reason we 1292 00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:50,760 started this was to help dads because we're pretty shit at 1293 00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,960 this sort of stuff and just yeah, just explain that you're 1294 00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:55,520 not alone. Basically we're going to break 1295 00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:58,000 it down into, you know, very, very simple terms. 1296 00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,800 It's like you're a dad, It's really difficult. 1297 00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:02,800 Your mates probably don't get it, your family probably don't 1298 00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:04,800 get it. We understand, Don't beat 1299 00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:06,640 yourself up. Life's going to carry on. 1300 00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:07,680 You're going to get through this. 1301 00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:12,160 That is literally very, very simple terms what this is about 1302 00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:15,280 and the fact that we've got, you know, mums on board, we've got 1303 00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:17,520 grandparents, carers, people that work, you know, 1304 00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:20,120 specialists, it's just the icing on the cake. 1305 00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:22,880 Yep. So there's nothing here that is 1306 00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,280 said deliberately with malice or anything. 1307 00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:27,720 Else, like all love, baby, it's. All. 1308 00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:30,200 Love all love. OK, mate. 1309 00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:32,040 Thank you very much. Absolute pleasure all. 1310 00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:34,000 Right, thank you mate. See you later guys. 1311 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:34,640 Love you all. Bye. 1312 00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:35,560 Bye. Bye.