Yeah, it's it's been amazing. I mean, the fact when we look
back at when we first recorded that episode and what I was
saying then is love of Mario Kart's gone, but it's now turned
to Mario Olympics and Mario Judo.
You're randomly seeing him falling on the floor.
Like you OK, Max? And look at why he's watching on
the video. He's reenacting what he's seen
in this judo fight on on his tablet and good.
Job, He's moved away from Mario. Kart.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. I'm glad he's got a space for
it. Yeah, he's absolutely amazing.
The way he's coming on, he's now in a proper setting, not just a
hub because. We were talking about it,
weren't we? We're going, yeah, going through
the process of isn't. Specialist now, so is school
from it's year 1 to year 11:00-ish and the school as a
whole, there's only 15 children there.
Well, so there's key stage one and two combined and the three
and four and the five. So each key stage only has five
children. So it's you've got 1 teacher who
is an Sen teacher and then you've got 4 teaching assistants
and they do sort of, it's all very child LED.
So they do 20 minutes of learning followed by 10 minutes
of free playing. That is generally his day, every
day. So it gives him a chance to go
out, regulate, do what he needs to do.
We actually got him to sit down and read a full school book for
the first time in two years because we know he can read, but
it's very much of Magnus as and when he wants.
To but it's very much like it was in this previous setting
where you can't get him to do anything on demand.
It has to be on his terms and it's not the fact that he's
arguing about you. It's like Magnus Squan, do some
reading, nothing. Do some reading nothing.
Unless. There's gig involved.
Yeah, unless there's gig involved.
But obviously normally he'll, he'll just turn up, there's a
book on the table, he'll read it cover to cover out loud, close
it, walk off almost like a mic drop moment.
But you, you can't plan for that.
You can't direct it. It's on his terms always.
But it it then separates itself from being that PDA that we've
already discussed where he's not demanding to do stuff is just
avert in doing it. But I don't think.
It's Pedia. I think the fact is that it was
a mainstream hub and they didn't really know how to deal with
him. So for the last two years it's
been, yes, I mean, very good, but essentially he was shoved in
a converted staff room and left to his own devices for two
years. Whereas now he is in a setting
which knows how to teach autistic children.
So they said when he first got there, initially they had some
problems getting him to comply because he has been left to his
own device for so long to do what he wants, when he wants,
how he wants. But know the brain that in a
little bit he is complying, he is joining in, he is doing what
he needs to do because as he's got used to the routines, it's
it's been like night and day, hasn't it?
I mean, he's, he's comprehension.
He's thing that we've noticed the most is that he is, we use a
lot of then and next language with him.
Well, now a next language with him.
So if we want him to do something this morning I said to
him, now we tidy up dinosaurs next we're going to do play
dough. Whereas before it would have
been full on mouth. Then he's actually putting the
dinosaurs in the box and then sitting down ready to do play
dough. But also from the dad
perspective, from my perspective, I try and take a
lighter look at it. So I always see the funny things
where Alex might not do. So the other day he is mummy,
mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy.
And you see that little GIF of like Stuart Gryphon from Family
Guy going on. That is life.
That is what happens. So Alex said to him, Mag 2
seconds, I'll be with you. Mag sense up there Din Table 12
3-4 and just kept counting until he got any attention.
And it's just little things like that that you wouldn't have done
previously. But he's actually understanding
what we're saying so he has a response to it.
And it's such a basic thing in a neurotypical world that somebody
says something. This is reaction, cause and
effect and he's he's now gathering that understanding
behind what he's doing, why he's doing it, and the response to
other. People, The thing is that it's
just in our language as well, and it's not when I said when
we're on holiday, we went with our friends and the girls were
together and I said to Meg say cheese, but he was facing the
other way. So he's just saying cheese into
the wind in the opposite direction because I forgot to
specify before I said say cheese that he needs to turn around
fast. So it's just sort of being
mindful. It's literal.
Thinking and yeah. Why did I just did that?
Why didn't mum ask me to just shake cheese?
Yeah, it's literally just shouting cheese into the sea.
I'm like, you need to turn around 1st and then we're doing.
The school photo as well. So I'm stand by the door and
it's stood by the door facing. The door with his face against
the door. I was like, no, no.
Trying to get a school picture of his uniform, he just stood
there facing it's it's literal. It's very literal.
I can't, I can't remember if it was a while ago, but was it you
and one of the dads? I can't remember.
I think it was you that was going.
You were like annoyingly laid back.
Is it you that said that? Yeah, you are.
Yeah. So.
What is it him? Alex.
Yeah, no, that's yeah. It's only because you were here
now. Like what?
What did he mean by that? Like, is it?
Does he just take everything in his stride?
And you? He just agrees with me with
everything. But then I also said to you the
other day, I think he is on the spectrum because he's one of
these people that needs to know what, why, when and where.
I'll ask him to do something and I how many times I've lost my
temper this weekend. So we're redoing Maggie's DLA
form at the minute and I said to you, can you get me some paper
clips? And he came back.
He said I couldn't get any paper clips, so that's fine.
Can you not do it at the post office?
I was like, no, because I've got like 300 pages of evidence to
submit. Oh, why?
I'm like, what do you mean? Why?
It wasn't Why an argument Why can't you put paper clips on
documents while stood in the queue waiting to post them?
But apparently I didn't explain it well enough.
Yeah, Alan is it's, I think you're catching up bars.
Close, right? Yeah, bars close.
Downstairs bars open though, so I.
Mean you catch it because we probably we think I think Freya
is ADHD at the moment. So we were probably 90% up there
and you. Are catching up to the thought
now. So those that don't understand
this, we've got twins, Magnus and Freya.
Freya is neurotypical somewhat. Magnus is definitely.
I think you said that last time as well.
Yeah, So Freya has a moment where she's quite emotionally
involved. She can't.
Handle her emotions.
But she just, she doesn't regulate emotion.
But I think the biggest issue for us is delivering on both of
their needs at the same time. So we have to say I have to take
Magnus Freya for certain days out and stuff, just me and her
so that she can have a time away from Magnus.
So he's in centre of attention. It in a way it kind of feels bad
because you're not giving Magnus the same experience as you are
Freya. So next weekend I'm taking her
ice skating, Yeah. But Magnus?
I would not wish about that, but also he wouldn't, he wouldn't
expect that either. So it's just trying to balance
that relationship between not only yourself and Alex in
managing it, but the kids in what they what their
expectations. Are, I think, were you saying
downstairs that their relationship's starting to
change as well? Yeah, I mean the the disgusting.
I mean, last night in the past they were spitting water at each
other and it was the funniest thing in the world.
And then? Not to us, to them to.
Them and then when say not they were trying to drown each other
and they both thought it was nice and so.
Freya tries to hug Magnus and he starts going ow.
Ow ow or help me is another. But he was saying ow and
laughing at the same time, so he was obviously getting getting
something out of that. But she is.
She is wicked protective and not My parents took them to soft
play a couple of weeks ago and a little boy tried to grab Magnus
and Fred was MMA so Fred literally Sparta kicked him down
the slide and this little. Boy, this is Sparta.
Literally Sparta kicks him down the side and he was crying like
pretty bad. Well, you're proud.
And you were like, yes, I thought you were proud.
Understands Magnuson is different and she doesn't
obviously like people picking on him and she'll always defend him
in that regard. Yeah.
The fact that she's got so much understanding of it as a 7 year
old just turned 7 year old is absolutely fantastic because
it's changed their approach to the world and the other kids
that she'll meet along the way. She's shown up with caring
nature with other kids that she sees in different settings.
She'll go soft play and forget about the kids that she knows.
It's always the younger brother or sister that she wants to play
with and look after and she's got a caring nature about.
It I mean not she won that raffle.
Didn't as well as a good Roundhouse.
Yeah, she's got a good Roundhouse.
She won that raffle at school and as another little boy who is
upset, so she took something out of her raffle basket and gave it
to. She didn't have to do that.
I think because of the wine that she's been brought up and with
Magna she is more empathetic than most 7 year olds.
That's really good. That's really So what's
Christmas going to look like in your household this year?
So generally at Christmas we stay at home just because it's
easier. We have to wrap the top of the
stairs. We do them also so we can get a
slight line so we're not downstairs at 5:00 in the
morning. So if you get rolls of.
The elves did. It the elves did it, when you
wrap it up good, they can't get through the paper, so you get an
extra. That's a Christmas tip.
That's one for you. Yeah, Brilliant.
We normally we're quite lucky that they both like roast
dinner, but we tend to stick to timings of a normal day.
And so we do dinner, dinner about four or 5:00 and then
they'll have like the normal lunch and we generally we go
out. That's an interesting point,
actually. So yeah, a lot of people will
bring Christmas dinner a lot earlier, 1:00 to 2:00.
You keep it at the same. Yeah.
We tried that, not last year, the year before, and it was just
Magnus Wood not stay at the table, would he?
No, I mean, he, he jump, he's jumping like that anyway.
He's, he's up and down from the table.
He grazes rather than eats. Eats a meal, I mean.
You call it the Chronicles of the Travelling Spaghetti, don't
you? It's.
Literally it's. Just handfuls of pasta around
the house. Running after him with a plate,
trying to get anything in him at the time, just trying to get
quite around his interest. But he's been, he's been a lot
better with his feeding that the weird one for us with Christmas
Day is we'll have the Christmas tree.
It's been up since fucking out the beginning of November.
I feel like, I feel like our lives turned into National
Lampoon's. You know, the battle against the
neighbours beginning of November, putting Christmas
lights up outside. But because Magnus comes outside
and stems about it, it's a great thing.
But me hanging off the gutter isn't.
But but yeah, come Christmas Day, there's two piles of
presents, one for Freya, one for Magnus.
Freya will go full taz ripping everything open.
Brilliant. Thanks.
Love it, love it, love it. Magnus will open one.
I go, oh, that's nice. Take it into the kitchen, start
playing with it. He won't address the rest of his
presence for a couple of hours because that's got his full
attention. And it's just really weird, like
for our be like, can we go and open the rest of Magnus's
presence? She knows they're not for her,
but she knows. She knows that she just wants
them open Excitement needs to be there.
She needs the big reveal. So.
Just take a couple of days just to get through Magna's opening
like Lydia last year. We just like OK one.
Then they're like, we still have the big bag of just presents a
couple of days later and you feel.
Like you got pressure and yeah, open it.
Open Mags is very methodical isn't he?
Sort of like open something, open the box, go and play with
it, and then he'll come back, open the next one, open the box,
but it's from what, 3-4 years ago?
It's worlds apart from what it was because he didn't understand
what a present was. He didn't understand that he had
to open it. Well, I went round my mum's
house yesterday and I had the message her in advance saying
anything that you've got on the Christmas tree, can you please
remove it because Magnus CS present, Magnus opens present
and he he would have just worked his way through whatever's in
front of it. We've been to birthday parties
and I was the last one at the sports centre, so the Sports
Village, we had Banks Castle going on for somebody's birthday
and then there's a separate room.
You can go and eat in there and Add all the presents in the
corner. Might just ushered his way into
the room, stood in the corner going Oh.
Shit. Yeah, but it asks it, It says
presents like it's a question. So we're standing next to him.
We'd be like presents. But thankfully he didn't open
anything because he obviously was in his party.
But yeah, that, that's how we respond to that nature of
Christmas. So my car is full of presents.
There's presents dotted around the house in locked cupboards.
If we get any more, we're in trouble, let's put it that way.
Yeah, Because you've got no sight.
Yeah. Yeah.
The loft is the next option. No, our next door name, because
our next door name. But is an absolute gem.
Not a shout out to Anne, of course.
Literally though Max has got this thing where he jumps on the
trampoline and anything and everything he can get his hands
on goes over Anne's fence. Her a greenhouse is still
standing, God only knows, but she comes back once a week with
a carrier bag. For us.
Yeah. She's what?
Legend. Dinosaurs, Teletubbies, number
blocks, anything that he's done in any certain order, it will
come back in that bag. Yeah, and, and, and once a week
she brings back a carrier bag of stuff that Max has bounced off
her greenhouse. Oh.
Yeah, what a legend. Nice name.
Yeah, pretty nice. Understanding of all the shit
ending up in her garden that she doesn't want there.
She's a. Babe, Yeah.
Sorry. If it's not the kids, it's a
cat. Sort of, yeah.
Well done, Anne. Well done Anne.
Shout around. You're a babe, as they say.
Oh, amazing. Well, look, thank you very much
for for coming on again. Again.
DOGII just want to say a massive shout out to everybody that
spoke tonight and especially Charlotte, who sat right in
front of me at the minute when she was speaking and was talking
about 16 years old speaking in Parliament.
And then you have that flashback of what park was I in at 16
years old, but the side were in my hand.
And yeah. Absolutely amazing.
I think it's nice to. An autistic.
A person's point of view, especially a teenager's point of
view, because you tend to hear sort of older people or parent
carers. There's nobody sort of I mean,
Magnus is 7. So it's nice to hear your point
of view, which is a few years down the line and it it gives us
an insight into how you. There's a lot of us, Steve.
I was saying earlier, you've got that two opinions of the inside
looking out and the outside looking in, and it's something
that everybody's parents doesn't tend to see, the outside looking
in. Yeah, his.
Parents, as much as we know about it, we can we we don't
know what it's like to be autistic.
If we did, we'd have that massive exactly.
This wouldn't even be a thing. But the more of that that comes
along, the more instant everybody's going to get 100%.
You guys are absolutely opening the doors to everybody to have
this conversation. I know it's called the dad cast,
but the so people involved, it's got such a valid opinion and a
point of view. We're all learning from it along
the line. Yeah, man, appreciate it.
Thank you mate. Thank you very much.
Right.