Everybody to another episode of the Men's Sexual Mastery
Podcast. This is Ben Timby here joined by
your fellow Co host Ian Hawks. Welcome.
What's up everybody? Thanks for being here.
Yeah, we're stoked to be here today.
We're going to have a drop in podcast today on the topic of
the nature of sexual energy and some of these deeper levels of
understanding that we can bring to ensure the best outcome as
we're practicing deepening in semen retention, semen
intention, Taoist sexual alchemy as it's called, these tools of
transmuting sexual energy into new areas of our life and and
into deeper lovemaking and deeper orgasms as we talked
about, but the whole gamut. And also not only transmuting,
but also cultivating and generating more and more, but
knowing that more isn't always better and understanding the
nature, as you spoke to, of the sexual energy and how we can
cultivate that in a way that's truly beneficial for us and not
destructive. Yeah, well said.
Yeah, more isn't always better is exactly what we're diving
into today. We're going to be talking about
how in traditional Chinese medicine, it's taught, it's
understood that sexual energy binds and amplifies whatever is
present. So I like to think of this like
an accelerant. You know, it's like gasoline
that you can pour onto a fire and you better make sure that
your fire is contained or else shit can blow up.
Shit can get a little, little squirrely.
And, you know, I often say it can be like turning up the
volume knob as well, you know? So what does this really mean?
You know, when I first heard this expression, sexual energy
binds and amplifies, I thought, yeah, I I took me a while to
wrap my mind around it. But the more I've gotten into
this work and the deeper we've gone Hawks and then the
trainings with all the men, I see it more and more and more.
So I'd love to pass it off to you a little bit to explain how
you see this show up or how you understand this concept of
sexual energy binding and amplifying.
Yeah. So something that comes up is
this, this energy, sexual energy being somewhat neutral, it's, it
has the capacity to greatly enhance and amplify our lives in
all of the generative positive ways.
And it also has the potential to burn the house down, as we see
in so many relationships, so many, so many men and people in
general that are with this sexual energy in a way that's
that's not really supportive or generative for them or aligned.
And learning how to cultivate and harness that sexual energy
in a way that's truly beneficial for our lives and for the people
in our lives. And so you know what, to answer
your question about how this shows up, one of the one of the
ways that we see this showing up all the time in the men in our
community is an illumination that comes when we start to
build and cultivate more sexual energy within ourselves.
That binding and amplifying nature of it will start to
illuminate the areas in our life where we're not fully in
alignment yet. If someone doesn't have a robust
community and social life, if they're inherently lonely and
they start to build and cultivate more sexual energy,
that's likely to show them that. Oh, I need to get some more
community in my life. I'm actually lonely.
Or if where the environment that someone is living in is really
out of alignment and not for them that that will be revealed.
If there's patterns in life that aren't serving, that will be
revealed. You know, one of the another
common experience for men in our program is the realization like
I got to get my physical health in order.
It's really important for me that I start going to the gym,
that I go for long walks in nature or runs or get out
outdoors or start lifting heavy stuff and nurturing my body or
putting really healthy, good foods into my body.
Because that sexual energy, as it builds, if it doesn't have
outlets, if there aren't patterns that we've already
instilled within ourselves to circulate that energy and to
work with it in a good way, it's going to start to cause
discomfort. It's going to start to, to
cause, you know, just illumination of the areas where
we're not yet fully in alignment.
And so that's, that's a couple little pieces.
And I know there's lots more. So pass the ball to you.
What comes up for you with that question?
Yeah, I think about how so often, you know, ejaculation
porn sex can be an escape for a lot of men.
And if you think about the nature of how like as you start
to hold the energy, it becomes uncomfortable, like that feeling
of discomfort is actually your reality.
You know and. Like you could continue to
ejaculate and release your own sensitivity to the truth of your
reality, or you can allow it to build up and actually take an
assessment. And This is why in module one of
our training that we've got guys in, we, we focus on energetic
leaks. We call it just all the areas of
your life that are out of alignment where you're leaking
sexual energy. Because ultimately your cup,
your vessel, if you will, of your life force cannot be
filled. Like we can bring all the
practices in the world, but if you have holes in the bottom of
your cup, you can't fill water into it, You're not going to be
able to fill sexual energy into your life.
You're going to continue to feel depleted until you address
what's out of alignment. And so that's why this is
foundational and that's why we created that as part of our
process before getting into any sort of sexual amplification or
building up of sexual energy, even semen retention.
I really encourage guys to get your house in order, get your
shit together, get your containment in place so you can
cook a meal rather than burn the house down with this fuel.
I say it's rocket fuel for our transformation.
But if we're not clear and we're not intentional and conscious
and aligned and in integrity with our our deepest knowing, it
can actually be really destabilizing.
And, and that also is fine. You know, ultimately it's for
the best. Like some guys, you know,
another one I see a lot and you've seen a lot I know is
relationships being out of alignment.
You know, guys staying in relationships just because it's
comfortable or maybe the sex is good.
But deep down, you know, this isn't your forever partner.
It's unfair to you and to your partner actually to be staying
in something that's out of alignment.
That's a big one. And and the more the guys deepen
in this practice and in these tools, everything is going to
become illuminated. Like like you mentioned 2 Hawks
like it's going to the noise is going to get turned up the
longer you're holding on to your semen.
Yeah. And on that note of
relationships, not only our most intimate relationships, you
know, a partner that we may be with, but also relationships
such as friends or people that we had hang out with and spend
our time with. We see a lot of that as well and
hear men speaking to the realization that, oh, actually
certain connections in my life are actually not in alignment
anymore. And the calling back in of that
energy, the realization of, oh, these, these connections, these
relationships are actually energetic leaks for me.
They're not serving me. They're not generative.
They're no longer in alignment. And actually it has become
comfortable to remain in them. And there's there's a death and
a rebirth that's asking to happen here because we need to
createspace in order to allow ourselves to be open to
receiving the new connections, the new opportunities in life
that are more aligned for us. And then there's patterns that
come along with some of those old connections and
relationships as well. If you know, if, if someone has
been hanging out with the same group of Bros for years and
years, and the pattern is to go out to the bar and have drinks
and engage in surficial level conversation or watch sports,
which is great, you know, some of the time.
And for some people, and also as men, desire has been start to
desire more depth in their life and, and might discover that
actually alcohol or these certain patterns or substances
are no longer in alignment for me.
And the relationships that I'm in right now are largely based
around the consumption of these substances or the practice of
these patterns. There's, there's a letting go
here that's required in order for me to open up to receive
some new connection, some new community, some new patterns and
habits that are actually truly for me now.
And then one last thing that that came up for me is a
particular man in our program who not going to name, it's all
confidential, but even, well, actually, not just one man, but
the, the letting go of jobs like an old way of being in service
or working that actually realizing, oh, my soul is asking
for a new form of service in the world.
I'm being called up and into a way of providing value in the
world that's different from how I used to.
And so this is part of the transformation process in
whatever means for transformation there is the
transformation often requires many deaths and rebirths and
shedding of old relationships or work or jobs or habits or
patterns or substances or ways of being with our self.
And, and to have that illuminated so prominently by
the generation and cultivation of more sexual energy, it starts
to become really clear, OK, I'm going to be required to make a
substantial shift in my life. And that could be uncomfortable,
but I know that I trust that it will lead to more alignment and
more comfortability. And and what or more fulfillment
I'll say rather than comfortability, but true deep
fulfillment. Yeah, yeah, well said.
Yeah. And we've been talking all about
the, you know, sort of negative things are, are the things that
are out of alignment so far in the shedding processes that you
know, will be accelerated by practicing holding your sexual
energy and building it. I'd like to talk a little bit
about the amplification that, you know, the binding and
amplifying of the positive things, you know, 'cause this is
really what most guys show up in the work for.
Can you speak a little bit about that, Hawks?
The one of the most common things that that I hear from men
and that we hear is just the feeling of being alive.
Like, oh, I'm, I'm so alive. I'm feeling powerful, I'm
feeling energized. I'm feeling like there's more of
me to give and to be with for myself and for everyone around
me. And those the at the depth of
our being, I think is is inherently powerful, connected,
embodied ways of being. And the amplification of those
ways of being allows us to to bring more of ourselves online
and creates a feeling of well-being that's that's
unparalleled. I mean, it's, it's part of the
journey of, of being a human here, as I've come to understand
it is how can I tap into the truth of me and bring more of
that online? And so as we bring aspects of
our life into alignment and engage in practices and ways of
being and relationships and service that are really for us
that are aligned, the amplification of those allows us
to step further and further in and give and give and receive
more and more of what we came here to, to give and receive and
be. Yeah, I'm well said.
I definitely would resonate and echo all of that.
And you know, with the vitality, with focus, creativity, some
guys even say like your intuition, it's almost like
you're micro dosing, I would say is the best comparison.
You know, I would draw like for anyone who's microdosed
psilocybin or something, it's just like almost like a slight
dose of that. And yeah, what you said, just
this overall sense of well-being, this kind of
abundant amount of energy. And when it's brought into the
love making, of course, like this is then the final realm.
And this is the cherry on top. This is the you know, what
everyone wants above all, but we often say that your love making
is just going to be a byproduct. You know, the relationships that
come into your life and especially with a romantic
partner is going to be the byproduct of your attunement,
your alignment and the amplification of the truest,
most heart centered, authentic version of you.
You know, like we, we often say you're the quantum field is
going to be rearranging around how who you are being.
And it can take some time at first, you know, and that's why
in our training, we do six whole months, like a lot of my
teachers say it can take 9090 days of consistent state change
for your reality to completely reshape around that new state of
being. And so when we bring in sexual
energy, we're actually accelerating that.
We're accelerating the timelines in my experience, you know, and
yeah, I think when it comes into love making, we talk about the
attunement to your partner, the ability to almost read their
body and intuit where they want to be touched, to feel their
pleasure in you and to allow. And this is where we're getting
deeper into the work of separating orgasm and
ejaculation and these other things, which that's a whole
nother topic. But with this increased sexual
energy, these subtle neural pathways of pleasure start to
open up, which I think are also connected to that overall sense
of well-being we talk about that's just permeating all of
life all the time. But especially in the bedroom,
it's really turned up. And with that increase, with
that binding and amplifying of love, it increases even more so.
And this is getting to another level within, you know, the
Taoist lineage, which is this is like thousands of years old of
sexual technology, we like to say that was held by the elite
of China. This is what built dynasties,
you know, And these these teachings and techniques were
secret, were very guarded for millennia, really until the 80s
when Montag Chia brought it forward, my teacher.
But in in their lineage, they say sex amplifies love, sexual
energy will amplify love and love will amplify sex.
And this is a whole nother level of amplification.
So this is like essentially when you're with a partner who is
your life partner and you are heart aligned with that person,
there's a whole nother level of access where now it's almost
like this echo Chamber of amplification.
And that's when you can really reach next level states when
when we come into contact with another who's aligned in their
heart. And I know this may sound a
little far out, but and you really got to experience it to
know it. But you know, I think we all
know deep down that true love, like who doesn't want true love
and what's standing in the way of that?
And ultimately, when we can go through this process of learning
how to hold and build our sexual energy and let it be this
personal transformation journey that we're talking to, to get us
in alignment with who we really are and allow us to be self
sourced and no longer extracting our pleasure or extracting our
love or our sexual fulfillment from any anything outside of us.
When we can sit with all the parts that are uncomfortable and
allow them to be transmuted over time and with the support, you
know, we have this in our container with one-on-one guys
and guys in Group training, but it is also accelerated.
When you have a support network, you're not doing it alone.
But all this to say, when you go through this process, then you
can start to show up in a way that is actually attracting the
kind of partner that is your dream partner.
And what happened for you? It happened for me.
It's happened for many other guys who come through our
training. That ultimately is the end goal.
You know, I think for almost all of us, like almost everyone
wants to be with a partner. And that's that's when we get
into the sheets. That's when we get into the
sexual quote UN quote sexual mastery, which actually is life
force mastery, which is across the entire spectrum.
And this could be a whole nother podcast us talking about the
deeper levels of binding and amplifying and building sexual
energy. And I know our time is a little
bit limited today, but I think it's really important to note
the additional layer that love amplifies sex and sex amplifies
love. And again, this isn't stuff we
made-up. This is from the Daoist lineage.
So is there anything, Hawks, that you would like to speak to
on that? I'd love to pass it over.
Yeah. What something that comes up for
me as you're speaking to that bring it specifically into the
bedroom and with a partner in the amplification of love
through sex and sex through love.
I think also of the the role that presence plays in all of
this and speaking specifically to the act of making love with a
partner and coming back to this nature of the binding and
amplifying of what's already there.
And so I'm, I'm, I'm thinking about a situation where two
partners come together and there isn't a level of grounded
presence in the man for this example.
And so if he's coming into that sexual experience disconnected
from himself, from his own body, and inherently then also from
his partner, the act of physical sex can still happen.
But that disconnection that's there, that lack of presence
will be amplified as he checks out and if he's in fantasy or
thinking of someone else or something else in his life while
going through the physical practice of mutual masturbation.
Essentially in this example, I feel like if there isn't
presence there, if there isn't connection to the body and to
the partner, then you're essentially using your partner
to masturbate. It's not actually a true love
making. And.
So the sexual energy in that situation is amplifying that
disconnection, and it will serve to actually amplify the
disconnection between two partners.
If this habit of disembodied, dissociated sex happens
repeatedly, if the man isn't there and he's not present with
his partner, she's also not going to be fully present there.
She's likely to go into some experience of dissociation and
her body will start to close up over time and contract and hold
tension in the yoni. That is an indication that, hey,
there hasn't been true connection here.
And over time, if that pattern repeats, it will serve to
further and further disconnect the two partners.
And now if we flip that to the inverse and the man in this
example is showing up in his body in in the moment, in his
presence, and then therefore also able to be present with his
partner, that in itself the the practice of presence greatly
amplifies our energy as a whole. We have more energy to give.
Wherever our attention goes, our energy flows.
And so if our attention is elsewhere because we're not
present, our energy is also going elsewhere.
But if we're fully present with our partner and ourselves and
the act of lovemaking, then all of our energy is there as well.
And then that sex, that sexual energy is going to greatly
amplify that. It's going to amplify the
presence. And if there's eye contact and
that feeling of really like being attuned and understanding
what your partner is experiencing because there's
such a level of presence that you're reading and picking up on
all of the subtle cues and the breath is synced up and the eyes
are engaged and gazing into each other, that presence is so
greatly amplified. And it's serving to deeply
nourish that connection between those two people and amplifying
then their love. And so I would say like sex
amplifies love if and when there's presence there.
And if there isn't presence there, then the energy isn't
there. And then it's actually serving
to amplify the disconnection. Yeah, Yeah, I love that you
highlighted that. And you know, I I love the whole
idea of sexual energy just amplifying presence in general,
like outside of the sexual act. And this is something that you
also will find like your meditations are going to be a
lot. Deeper.
Your Qigong, you know, I notice it when I'm gone quite a while,
building up my energy. I can feel, it's like static
moving between my actually, I feel it right now, just like
this little tingling between my fingers.
There's, you know, I had a conversation the other day or
some comments on Tiktok with someone who was asking like,
I'm, I'm so connected to my meditation practice and I'm so
in bliss. Like, why would I need to change
it? Or like, why would I try to
integrate sexual energy into that?
And I, it's hard to, to tell guys, it's like, if you know,
you know, this is basic synergy, you know, like, well, why don't
you just try it, See what happens.
See what happens when you practice holding onto your semen
for a while or practicing self pleasure or sexual pleasure with
a partner with deep presence and not ejaculating.
That's going to amplify your energy quicker.
And then notice changes in your meditation, notice changes in
your Qigong and all the other areas we've talked about, you
know, your workouts. That's another giant one people
know. And I've spoken to it before.
Like it's very known in the MMA space and boxing space, like not
to have an ejaculation the week or so before your your big
fight. This has been held for a long
time. Like a lot of this stuff is so
hidden in plain sight. But yeah, coming full circle
into the awareness that sexual energy is going to bind and
amplify everything. So whether you are in coherence
with yourself, if you're using it in a very contained,
intentional way, it's going to be rocket fuel.
And if you're in dissonance with yourself, if you're not in self
love or self acceptance, if you're out of integrity with
yourself or your inner guidance, it's going to shed, you know, or
your relationships or your job, all the things we've talked
about, it's going to shed that or it's going to make it so
uncomfortable until you shed it. It's going to bring up the dis
ease. And ultimately this is kind of
what's at the core of our entire being is, are we vital and are
we healthy? Are we in ease or are we in dis
ease? Are we deficient?
And our thoughts, our emotions are.
Yeah. All these different areas of our
life are just going to be generated from our state of
being ultimately. So that's why we say it's so
hard to encapsulate these understandings of like what
sexual life force energy really is and what it is we're doing in
this work. But this is it, you know?
And This is why I call this like holistic men's sex Ed 'cause
this is a holistic program. The flower doesn't bloom in
nature until the roots are solid, the stem is solid, the
leaves are green, there's no disease, there's no past.
Sexual reproduction in nature is the final stage of development.
It is the byproduct of a healthy, thriving Organism.
And you can be having sex. You can be having what you think
is a lot of great sex. And you know what I call like
porn reenactment, which is most of our sex education.
And that's fine. Lots of ejaculations, lots of
penetration and primal energy. I, I love that myself too, but
it's almost like a flower that's only partially bloomed.
Like you may only be 1% opened in your sexuality and you may be
missing out on 99% of the pleasure that actually you're
capable of. And not just for you, but for
your partner and not just for the bedroom, but for your entire
life. You know, your vitality.
This is your vitality. So we're here to spread the word
and educate our brothers in this.
Just yell it from the rooftops, as we've said before, you know,
just to, to really educate and inspire brothers to try this
out, try this out first hand and, and just see what happens.
And you know, one final note here I'll just say is if you are
just trying this out for the first time, part of the reason
we share this is just as a disclaimer and we share this
with all the guys in our training.
Too much too fast is 1 definition of trauma and it
takes time, just like gardening, you know, tilling the garden,
you know, you got to work on the wedding and planting new seeds.
These are new neural pathways, new behavioral patterns and all
the rest. And with consistent repetition
and with you know, we're going to stumble as we learn to walk,
as we say all the time, This is why we have daily accountability
for guys. And I encourage anyone
listening, if you have someone you can get in daily
accountability with, share your commitment, share what's going
on every day. Send these messages every single
day. This is how it changes.
It's not, we're not a light switch.
It's not fixing something suddenly.
It's this binding and amplifying and raising of the energy needs
to be done mindfully and slowly. And This is why, you know, we
also created the training program to to give guys the
tools and the framework and the support to deepen in this work.
So yeah, that's, that's everything I wanted to say on
that. Is there any last thoughts you
have, Hawks, before we sign off? Sure, just that as you were
speaking to it can. The journey can be a little
uncomfortable as we start out and that and that discomfort is
indication that change is happening.
And that's where sticking with it, being committed, having that
consistency to continue to follow through because on the
other side of that discomfort is a whole new you.
It's a whole new chapter. It's it's a shedding that can be
uncomfortable. Change is typically
uncomfortable, but when we're aligned and when we're
supported, that change is orienting us towards something
that's even better. And so stick with it and know
that it's perfectly normal to be a little uncomfortable at the
beginning, but that's what we're here for, you know, that's what
that's what this is about. It's not all meant to be
comfortable all of the time, but as we come more and more into
alignment, build our energy up more and more in our life force,
things do become just naturally more blissful, which is is where
we're ultimately headed. Yeah, that's it, man.
Yeah. We always say in our training,
it's like we're learning how to Make Love and not war with the
resistance because what we resist persists when we can
learn how to slow down, breathe, penetrate with our
consciousness, with our smile, with our breath, smiling at our
demons, you know, and not running from them.
This is this is the way. The only way in is through.
And just like Hawk said, I want to double click on that and
highlight that. Like there is so much waiting
for you on the other side with just a little delayed
gratification. It's uncomfortable for a little
season, but once you've tasted this, it's like, it's like a kid
who's addicted to eating Skittles and then, you know,
introducing them to creme brulee or like these extravagant, you
know, desserts. And it's almost like letting go
of the known to open to the unknown.
Yeah. Or or fruit.
Yeah, or fruit. Something that's actually like,
once we allow ourselves to sensitize again to what's,
what's actually natural, we can fully appreciate and savor
what's, what's there. What, what, you know, God has
given us just inherently here to nourish us and to bring great
pleasure and bliss. And, you know, for myself,
having gone through that process of eating refined sugars for
much of my early life and then removing that stimulus from my
experience, now I bite into a fresh piece of fruit and I'm
like, this is better than any piece of candy I've ever had.
And it's also nourishing me in ways that that candy never did.
And there's no going back. It's just, you know, it's, it's
not even a, a question anymore at this point on my journey.
And, and there's a process to that, you know, there's often
the process of coming up and out of engaging with that stimulus.
And then we might dip back into an old pattern and be like, oh,
this tastes really good in the moment.
But then 5 minutes, five hours later, we feel awful.
And then it's that reminder of like, oh, yeah, this actually
wasn't ever in alignment. Let me remove this again and get
back to the really nourishing generative practices or ways of
being or foods that that actually feel good in the moment
and serve me in the long term. Yeah, yeah.
Well said, man. All right, Well, we'll close out
with that. Thank you so much, Hawks, for
joining me today. And thank you, Listener, for
tuning in. I'll see you on the next one.
Sending lots of love your way.