1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:05,040 I'm Effie, a life coach who profoundly gives a fuck about 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:08,480 you feeling better for good. I teach people how to cut the 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,000 crap and live according to their own rules. 4 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:14,640 It's a crime we don't learn this stuff in school, but it's 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,680 simpler than you think to break the pattern and start living the 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,200 life you want. Listen on to find out how. 7 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:28,880 Hey, welcome to the last episode of Feel Better For Good for All 8 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,040 of 2025. I'm so excited about this 9 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,479 episode. I've really been looking forward 10 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,360 to it. We are talking about magic 11 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:40,480 today, how to make it, how to keep it, and how to use it to 12 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:45,080 turn the corner anytime you need to in this upcoming year and 13 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:48,560 frankly, in your life. This episode is coming out on 14 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,080 New Year's Eve, December 31st, the last day of the year, and I 15 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,960 just love this time, the the time between like Boxing Day, 16 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:02,760 the day after Christmas, all through Kwanzaa and into January 17 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,200 1st, 2nd. It really is like my favorite 18 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,360 time of the entire year. This de Noir meant where we're 19 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:14,640 asked to, if we choose to accept the mission to look back on the 20 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,680 year, what worked, what didn't work, what do we want to do 21 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,960 differently in the new year. And it's just a full reflection. 22 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,640 I love it. I love it. 23 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,440 It's a time to slow down and really, you know, take stock. 24 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:31,360 So how have your holidays been so far? 25 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,000 Good, bad, ugly. I hope you've had a little bit 26 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,560 of time to decompress. I wanted to start today's 27 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,480 episode just by sharing, well, one message that I got from a 28 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:45,480 client, one of my amazing women. The day after Christmas, she 29 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,600 sent me a message that said this. 30 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:53,640 I felt safe in the company of my family yesterday, a first in 31 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:58,400 over 25 years. Thank you, Effie. 32 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:05,840 I welled up when I got this message just because I feel so 33 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,400 lucky to get to do the work that I do. 34 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,360 And there's no time more rewarding than the holidays to 35 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:16,280 really appreciate the magic that my women are making in their own 36 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,160 lives. So I wanna share a couple more. 37 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,040 Here's just some of what I've heard from them this past week. 38 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:25,080 I have an enormous amount of gratitude for the work we've 39 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,680 been doing together. This was the most enjoyable 40 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:32,440 Christmas Day I can think of. Normally, I would have a bunch 41 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,480 of triggers around the way things went, other people's 42 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,560 behavior, etcetera. And guess what? 43 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,280 The people were the same. But this time, things didn't 44 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:47,440 faze me. There was so much relief that I 45 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,120 didn't have to feel so resentful. 46 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,480 I let my family members be who they are. 47 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,200 I was able to do what I wanted and be as I was. 48 00:02:55,600 --> 00:03:00,080 It was just fun. Like who am I? 49 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,000 And the one says I'm so grateful to have gotten here. 50 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:10,680 When we started working together, my negative emotions 51 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,640 were so fierce. I didn't see a way out. 52 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,440 But it's working. Just having you there every week 53 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,120 made all the difference. Every week we showed up and did 54 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:23,320 the work together. You make it so simple. 55 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,880 It's like after we talk about it, I have permission to do 56 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,160 things differently and you teach me so much. 57 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:34,480 I know it is possible to get back up no matter how hard I 58 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,280 fall. I have these tools now that I 59 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,960 feel good about and I know there's a way through anything 60 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:45,320 because I trust our process. Y'all. 61 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,760 I'm so proud of them. I am just cavalling over here 62 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:55,520 and getting all of this feedback from my amazing clients really 63 00:03:55,520 --> 00:04:00,280 made me want to offer something special that I actually did on 64 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,400 December 20th. So I don't think I announced it 65 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:07,800 on the podcast, but I am going to be teaching again back by 66 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,480 popular demand. On January 5th. 67 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,880 I will be teaching my groundbreaking master class How 68 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:18,200 to Not Repeat 2025. So if you're good and damn ready 69 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:23,840 to stage your comeback already, you can RSVP at Effie lavoie.com 70 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,960 right now. Hopefully you're hearing this in 71 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:30,520 time and we can get you in for that free master class that 72 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:34,400 promises to change the trajectory of your year, to help 73 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,240 you do that and to change the course of your life. 74 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:42,120 Cannot wait to see you there. OK, so I wanted to share about 75 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,520 my Christmas 'cause it was quite special as well, but in a 76 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:48,800 slightly different way. I didn't have my kids this year, 77 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,520 they were with their dad. We alternate Christmases and I 78 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:58,000 had a lot of offers for time with friends or actually I had a 79 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,040 few like date offers and I decided to turn them all down 80 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,720 because I really wanted to spend the day with myself. 81 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,000 That was what I most wanted to do. 82 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:13,440 It's very special to be able to get a day all to myself. 83 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,080 And the highlight for me was getting to go up to my daily 84 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,280 trail, but I didn't get to. I chose to. 85 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,880 And it was an act of choice because it had been raining in 86 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,360 LA, quite heavily actually for a day or two. 87 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,400 And that day, Christmas Day, was raining on and off and I 88 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,280 thought, you know what, I'm going to take my chances. 89 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:37,480 So I packed Piggy my puppy up into the car and I decided that 90 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,080 we're going to go for it. On the way to the trail. 91 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,240 It's like 5 minutes from my house, 5 minute drive. 92 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:46,800 On the way to the trail, it starts like dumping rain and I 93 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,560 almost turned back. I'm like, oh, you know, this, 94 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,600 this could get kind of rough. But I didn't. 95 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,640 I decided no, I'm going to go forward. 96 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,760 I don't mind a little sloppiness. 97 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,760 It was a little bit muddy. I don't mind running in the 98 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,120 rain, and I feel like Piggy, I mean, hello, her namesake. 99 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,560 I think she'll be fine with it too. 100 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:10,000 So we continued on. We got to the trailhead and 101 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,440 started going up the hill. It was slippery, but for the 102 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,720 most part it didn't dump on us like it had in the car on the 103 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:20,440 way there. And we were so handsomely 104 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:25,040 rewarded on the way back. Y'all, I'm coming down the hill. 105 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:31,120 And keep in mind that this view, it's it's like you go up in the 106 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,280 Hollywood Hills or the northernmost part of it, and 107 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:38,920 from the top, from the Vista of this trail, you can see the 108 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:43,080 entire San Fernando Valley. It's incredible. 109 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,440 So there's mountains flanking the entire valley, you know, to 110 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,720 the right and the left, and there's just massive expanse of 111 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:57,000 this valley that I love. So we're coming down the hill 112 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:02,880 and I turn a corner and I see this massive rainbow that's 113 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,200 literally haloing the entire valley. 114 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,680 The whole thing. In almost 20 years in LA, I've 115 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,200 never seen anything like it. We do not get visited by 116 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:17,520 rainbows very often here. And to see that whole thing 117 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:23,760 stretched across the sky, it was the most magical moment. 118 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:28,080 It felt like a miracle, even more so that I was the only one 119 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,200 on the trail, like we were the only ones there. 120 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:35,160 And so I'm, I'm seeing this scene, you know, playing out in 121 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:39,360 front of me and I'm just like repeating to myself, I'm so 122 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,200 lucky. I'm so lucky. 123 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,480 I'm so lucky to get to live where I live. 124 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,000 I'm so lucky to have the life that I have. 125 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,800 I'm so lucky to get to see this right now in this moment. 126 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,320 I'm sure other people saw the rainbow from different vantage 127 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,960 points, but from where I was looking, I mean, I felt like it 128 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:04,000 was for me, that it was, you know, my Christmas miracle right 129 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,200 there and delivered to me right on that slope. 130 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:12,520 And the thing that really struck me about this is that if I had 131 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,120 turned back, if in that moment where, you know, it was raining 132 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,760 really hard on the way to the trail, I had thought, no, it's 133 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:24,040 OK and turned back, I never would have gotten to see. 134 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,880 I never would have gotten that reward. 135 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:32,400 Such an incredible experience, and I wanted to share that with 136 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:36,480 you on this podcast as a symbol of the magic that we're talking 137 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:37,760 about today. And I hope you've been 138 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,640 experiencing some magic of your own this holiday season. 139 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,560 I know this time of year can be really challenging, but I hope 140 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,760 that there were many glimmers for you to be able to hang on 141 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:52,080 to. And if you felt hurt, if you 142 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:56,920 felt confused, lonely, or alienated, I want this to be the 143 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,880 last holiday season. You have to feel that way. 144 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,280 So let's write your next chapter together. 145 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:09,360 Let's talk about how to make magic on purpose in your life in 146 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,520 the new year, when things feel like they're in the crapper, 147 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,040 they're not going your way. Like life is lifing. 148 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,440 I want you to know how to turn it around intentionally to not 149 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:23,760 just find the magic, but to create it and use it to fuel you 150 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,600 toward the life you want to live. 151 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,920 This is important, just like it was important for me to continue 152 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,920 up that hill, because we don't want our circumstances, the 153 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:37,640 stimuli of our life, the rain coming down the weather, to be 154 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,640 the dictators of our experience. We don't want to rely on the 155 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:46,960 things that happened to us to inform us about who we are and 156 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,200 how we get to live. I've already told you a little 157 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,000 bit about why this time of year is my favorite and New Year's 158 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,040 Eve is my favorite holiday because it's that time to take 159 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,080 stock of the year, to be able to look forward to the new and 160 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,400 really do a reset. I am actively doing that right 161 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,680 now in this space and with my clients as well. 162 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,600 And in fact, I'll be offering a special gift to anyone who 163 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,360 registers for the Master class on January 5th. 164 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,480 So that's something to really look forward to. 165 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,840 It is a phenomenal tool for being able to take stock and do 166 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:23,560 your own reset. But for right now, I would love 167 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:27,120 to just do a little bit of that resetting, a little bit of 168 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:31,880 unpacking of my past year. I don't want to open any wounds 169 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,680 here, but maybe this will help to get your mind moving that 170 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:38,360 direction as well. So I don't know about you, but 171 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:43,640 2025 was a tough one. It's like really tough. 172 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,120 It felt like at many points there was nothing that I could 173 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,640 do but laugh, really. Which is ironic because my word 174 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,320 for the year was joy. I pick a word for the year at 175 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:58,000 the beginning of every year, and I settled on joy at the 176 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,160 beginning of 2025, which felt like such a betrayal. 177 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:05,080 Like almost immediately, because we came back from our holiday 178 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:11,240 trip directly into the LA fires, that true nightmare of a couple 179 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:15,480 of weeks where so many people that I know lost their homes. 180 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:19,960 We gratefully didn't have to evacuate, but we were living in 181 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:24,840 the fear of what may happen at any moment, for better or for 182 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,360 worse. I thought a puppy would help. 183 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:32,560 So I went out and got a puppy. Oh boy, OK, that made life a lot 184 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:36,400 more complicated. Then I had all these challenges 185 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,080 in my business. It was just like 1 after 186 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,000 another. Constant challenges and ones 187 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:46,960 that I really did not expect. I also processed through a lot 188 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:51,400 of grief this year, a lot of historical grief, grief from the 189 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,400 year before that I really hadn't processed. 190 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:59,040 So circumstantially. Things were hard, and not 191 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,560 necessarily harder than they'd been the previous year, but the 192 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:05,840 difficulty level just felt infinitely higher. 193 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,360 And I think that's because I was different. 194 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,640 Like I was going through an identity shift, this big 195 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,840 transitional energy that I was navigating through for really 196 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:18,920 the bulk of the year. And looking back, I can see how 197 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:23,960 aspects of my former self were actually dying in these really 198 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,280 challenging moments and these decisions that I was faced with. 199 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,640 And a lot of it was not very much fun at all. 200 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,880 It was quite painful. So when I say parts of me were 201 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,120 dying off, that's really how it felt. 202 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,640 Very painful, especially for the first half of the year. 203 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,600 Joy was much more elusive than I would have liked. 204 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,640 I had to find ways of creating more of it in my world, in my 205 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:51,440 life, which felt like it was actually dishonouring some of 206 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,400 the grief. So it was a balance. 207 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:57,560 When do I process? When do I allow this negative 208 00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:01,160 emotion to move through me? And when is joy the 209 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:05,120 prescription? I really had to find balance 210 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,840 this year. And grace. 211 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:11,920 That was really the biggest gift of 2025 for me, and I use the 212 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:17,880 discernment that I was building to fuel a full on comeback. 213 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,080 Oh, it's been so sweet. And I'm teaching my women how to 214 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,760 do it themselves. Everything that I've been 215 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:28,960 through this year is benefiting everyone in my world. 216 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:33,080 And a highlight for me this year was teaching the Joy Code, also 217 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,440 known as how I learned to stop worrying and enjoy the human 218 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,520 experience. And that master class is on the 219 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,640 podcast. It's episode 75 of Feel Better 220 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,520 for Good. So the biggest one for me in the 221 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:51,520 context of staging my own comeback and ending the year so 222 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:57,320 strong, is codifying the process of reinvention into 7 powerful 223 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,400 stages. I have broken down exactly how 224 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:04,280 to do it for yourself. And you'll find that in episode 225 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,520 88, what reinvention really looks like. 226 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:14,160 Now, reinvention is a magical sport. 227 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,520 So these ingredients that I'm about to share with you right 228 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:22,920 now play into and through the seven stages of reinvention. 229 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:27,920 The seven stages are designed to unlock each of the elements 230 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:32,080 inside of you, but it can also be really helpful to start with 231 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,200 this energy first. So here you go, the three 232 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,760 essential ingredients to intentional magic making. 233 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,840 How to spin the straw of your life into gold, to 234 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:47,760 systematically rise from the ashes and create winds from your 235 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,800 losses. The only three principles you 236 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,680 need to know, the only three things you need to practice to 237 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:57,440 start you ready ingredient #1 is commitment. 238 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:02,240 You commit to the desire of your heart, to the vision of your 239 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:06,400 life that feels impossible in this moment, under the current 240 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:11,200 circumstances, the current regime, and you decide, this is 241 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,640 what I'm doing. This is the direction that I'm 242 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,040 headed in. Right when it was time for me to 243 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:20,080 go to my trail, I decided this is what I'm doing. 244 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,680 I know the weather doesn't look great, but this is what I've 245 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,440 decided to do and I'm going to move in that direction. 246 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:34,160 There is magic in commitment, pure magic, and this is a 247 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:38,000 decision that you make once and that activates the magic, but 248 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:42,920 you also continue to make this decision over and over again, 249 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:47,040 which sets the stage for ongoing magic and the possibility of 250 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,120 that, the inevitability of that happening for you. 251 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,640 The second essential ingredient is risk. 252 00:15:55,680 --> 00:16:01,640 And risk requires vulnerability. It requires you to be willing to 253 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,200 feel vulnerable. Magic cannot come through 254 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:08,800 without cracks in the surface. You have to be willing to put 255 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,880 yourself in harm's way, at least emotionally speaking. 256 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,520 Putting yourself in harm's way to take on risk, to tolerate 257 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:20,440 risk, knowing there will be slips, there will be difficulty 258 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,720 and heartache, and it will be worth it. 259 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:29,240 You decide in advance that it will be worth it, and believing 260 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,440 that it is worth it is part of the commitment. 261 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,040 That's an extension of the commitment. 262 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,480 That's why we need to return to the commitment over and over, is 263 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,040 to remind ourselves of why we're doing this. 264 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:44,680 And we're gonna need to be reminded because this is not the 265 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,600 easiest stuff. It puts us outside of our 266 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:51,400 comfort zone, but that's where the magic lives. 267 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:57,280 The third ingredient is presence, and you can think of 268 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:02,280 presence as simply listening, being available for what happens 269 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,599 next, truly in the moment. And to do this, you've got to 270 00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:10,680 drop what it is you think should happen, what you think is going 271 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:17,119 to happen, to be able to be with and appreciate what is talked on 272 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,280 the podcast recently about the should life. 273 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:23,040 And that's what happens when we are always projecting onto the 274 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,800 world and our experience what should be happening. 275 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:31,600 We are robbed of the magic of what actually is unfolding for 276 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,800 you and in front of you and around you. 277 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,960 You literally become blinded to it. 278 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,560 It's not that the magic isn't there, but you don't have access 279 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,160 to it when you're caught up in the machinations of what you 280 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,680 think should be happening instead of what actually is. 281 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,800 And I hear a lot of people say, well, what is is really ugly or 282 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,120 I don't like the way that things are. 283 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,960 True presence and true listening requires a different kind of 284 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,640 discernment. So instead of judging what's 285 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:05,080 good or what's bad or what you like or dislike, you start using 286 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:09,320 your judgment instead to find what's useful to keep and what's 287 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,520 useful to release. And for most of us to on our 288 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,480 list of things we need to release is this sense of 289 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,040 victimization, of being victimized by the world and that 290 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:24,000 we cannot have the life that we really want because of fill in 291 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,720 the blank. Our trauma, our circumstances, 292 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,800 our difficulties, this person in our life. 293 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:33,560 You know, truly just fill in the blank with your favorite noun, 294 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,560 the noun that makes you feel the most hopeless, the most 295 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,760 powerless, the most disenfranchised. 296 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,240 To be able to do this, you have to really identify the belief 297 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,200 that keeps you feeling poor and distraught. 298 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:51,360 And I want you to imagine right now a space you can dwell in 299 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:57,280 that is happy and secure. Not that everything is perfect, 300 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:01,480 not that you live in a perfect world, but you feel an inner 301 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:08,720 peace and a higher purpose and a deep trusted connection to the 302 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:14,120 source of love. That is what permeates your 303 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,720 field. And in this place there is 304 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,200 supreme confidence and pure awareness. 305 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:26,000 Pure awareness of where you've been and of the suffering that 306 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:30,360 still exists. And somehow that suffering and 307 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:35,000 that history is not incongruent with your peace. 308 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:42,080 There's a deep appreciation for your own pain, truly, as you 309 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,240 understand, it's what's brought you the humility to be able to 310 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:48,720 enter the portals into this new world. 311 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:55,800 And here you know deeply, fully how privileged you are to 312 00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:01,800 understand so well the divine paradox that strength rises from 313 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:07,160 weakness, that the pain is not only the price but the very 314 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:13,840 touchstone of rebirth. And in this place, knowing its 315 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:19,480 full worth and purpose, you can no longer fear adversity because 316 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:23,080 you have found fullness and richness where there was 317 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:27,880 poverty, where there was fear. Peace and joy and deep 318 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,760 fulfilment have sprung out of the very midst of chaos. 319 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:39,040 This is the place to be. Let's make some fucking magic in 320 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,800 2026. What do you say? 321 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,360 January 5th is where it starts. Come join me for the master 322 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,240 class. Make sure you go and register 323 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,160 for free right now if you haven't already. 324 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,800 Effie lavora.com cannot wait to see you there. 325 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,480 OK? Thank you so much for riding 326 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:01,600 this episode with me. I know that we went a lot of 327 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,040 different places. I'm so, so happy that you were 328 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,280 here taking this ride with me. Have a wonderful week and I will 329 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:13,080 see you next time. I will see you next year. 330 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,880 Yay. If you're ready to do the work 331 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:22,680 to move forward on what you want and actually get it, I can help 332 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,600 you. I'm offering my podcast 333 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,640 listeners a free consultation with me to talk about what 334 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,680 coaching can do for you this year. 335 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:33,040 Just visit effielivor.com to get started.