Welcome to the doctor nurse podcast.
I'm your host dr. Sandra Penta, I'm a doctor, Lee
prepared nurse practitioner and I am so glad you decided to join
me today. The doctor nurse podcast is a
podcast for nurses and nurse practitioners that are wanting
to understand what exactly their degrees can do for them.
After the birth of my son, I had this aching desire to have more
flexibility in my career choices.
Despite feeling like all the alphabet soup, after my name,
didn't really afford me. Me very many options, I launched
the podcast to find the answers that I, so desperately needed.
I also knew I couldn't be the only nurse who felt this way.
This is sound like you, if so, come and hang out with me as I
figure out what our nursing degrees can give us access to as
far as career flexibility control over our schedules and
Entrepreneurship my talking with NPCs and rs who are doing
exactly that. Sit back and enjoy the Station.
Hi, doctor nurse podcast Nation. Welcome to another episode.
Today we have on Melanie and she is a graduate of the University
of Wisconsin in 2018, with her Bachelor's in nursing
interesting. Little side note for her career,
she actually did not pass her in class in the first time, but she
still became a nurse. She's still fabulous, she's
doing her own thing. She's here to tell you about her
journey today, and the fact that you've got to prioritize The
things that make you feel alive and your career in order to be a
good nurse. So I am so excited to have you
on today. I've introduced you prior to the
podcast and give him all your little factoids about your
degrees and everything else like that.
But I'm so happy to have you on today Melanie.
I am so excited to be here, Sandra.
This is just so exciting. I loving everything you're doing
and I feel so honored to be a guest on your podcast today.
Oh my gosh, I was so happy to hear that.
You've listened to the podcast that you're a fan of has cast
big banner. Yeah.
That you're all about. Like creating multiple streams
of income and yeah, stepping away from the bedside if it's
not meeting your needs anymore. So you know what you got to do?
What's best for you? Whatever that looks like.
Yeah it looked a certain way and it look differently at a
different point in my time and it's okay if plans change and
things happen in your life and circumstances arises that are
may be out of your control. But I found that it's what you
do with what you have in front of you.
That's That's what's most important and it's finding the
ways to create your own joy. And for me, it's finding ways to
spread my sunshine because I have a lot of love to give.
And this world is pretty dark and nursing has gotten pretty
rough over the past couple of years.
And I really just wanted to create a safe space in a
community for my friends, is what I like to call them to feel
appreciated, feel heard, feel loved feel.
I think that they may not be feeling from their jobs or from
their life or their careers or what have you.
It's just been such a fun Journey so far and I'm so happy
to be here talking about it. I love it.
And I cannot wait to hear all of what you've been doing with your
career. So, take me through kind of how
you see yourself right now. What's your current role?
Well, it's funny. You always say that about being
a crafter because I kind of started out saying that I was a
peace nurse by day and a After by night because that's or no,
it was the other day. It was the other way around
because I was working nights as a Peds nurse and then I would,
whenever I would get cancelled is when I would find myself
crafting because I was getting really bored, just sitting on
the couch and, yeah, I just needed.
I needed a creative Outlet, so I kind of don't know where to
start it. All kind of started as a hobby
and turned into this happy accident is kind of what I like
to call it. So, tell me.
When did you leave the bedside? Tell me.
What did you I left to the bedside?
That's a great place to start. I look at that side and
September so six months ago. Okay.
I was a nurse for almost, go ahead.
Yeah, almost four years, prior to that, go ahead.
Yep. Prior to that, I was a nurse for
almost four years, and I did it wasn't a seen a job, but it was
basically, a glorified sitter prior to me being a nurse when I
was still in nursing school, it was kind of my foot in the door
to get into the facility that I wanted to work at and It was I
learned a lot and it really helped kind of solidify my want
to be a pediatric nurse and it helps because I was afloat so I
was able to go to all the different units and see the
different Specialties and really kind of have the luxury of being
able to kind of pick my poison a little bit when I was going to
apply and when I passed my NCLEX after taking it the second time.
Yeah. I love stories like that.
Where people like this people probably look at you and think
like oh Mel has it all together and then you share this like
really vulnerable story about How you know, you struggled to
pass the NCLEX and they do you did.
And what it makes you love your degree or makes you love your
certification a little bit more because you really have to fight
for it. But then I'm also is shows like
how you overcame something that was really challenging and then
second self up for all these other great things in your
career. So you worked as a Peds, ours
for four years and then again find yourself crafting on the
other on your off time and one of the things that I find when I
talk to people is they they are looking for, they loved working
bench. Why they chose being a nurse?
They like, helping people, but then they find that they're
getting burned out. So tell me a little bit about
and I know you were kind of sharing with me like working
during covid and all these different things that I think
we're probably. I don't know, you tell me.
But where they leading to this Crescendo of?
Like, I don't know how much longer I can do this.
This is this is wearing me out like what was it you that made
you kind of start to want to shift, right?
Well, it was kind of a multitude of different things.
It kind of started with Bed cover kind of affected the
Pediatric population, a lot differently than it.
Did the adult world. You know, our schools were
closed surgeries were cancelled, both of which make up a wild
highly percent of our patient population.
That I saw in the acute care side of the bedside.
And I was working at the PRN. I was not a full time.
I was hired on as a PRN nurse just as needed.
So I was working. Yeah, I and it all it was kind
of what was best for me at the time I I was able to still be on
my parent's insurance because I was young enough.
And then when I was able to get married, my husband had better
Insurance than what the facility was offering.
So it all kind of makes sense to me at the time.
But then when covid, hit parents got cancelled.
First, and very often in my unit was actually closed for about 18
weeks. So we were combined with two
other floors. So you have two to three units
of nurses, fighting for 24 beds, full warming, good, Half the
time. So there was two months straight
where I was scheduled to work 18, 2007 and I got canceled
every single for two months for now.
Wow. Yeah.
That's scary. Like, if you were, depending on
that income, I mean, and as you're working PRM.
But still, I mean, what if you needed that little and I can
come to make a little bit, you know, whatever.
Now that's some loans I have bills, you know, just like
everyone else my bills. I needed something.
I was, you know kind of I was begging my management for hours.
I was like where I could go I was standing at the front
entrance, scanning and screening all the nurses and healthcare
workers coming in. I was checking their temperature
asking them, their screening questions.
I did that a couple of times overnight I did the covid
vaccine clinic where They started rolling out the vaccines
and they needed to administer the staff.
I was doing that and then once they started rolling out, the
children's vaccines, I was out there doing that doing the flu
clinics. We even had a koban hotline
where employees would call if they were sick or they were
exposed and they needed the proper what to do now.
You know, I was kind of just grasping for straws at anything,
I could do to just get hours and they were helpful to me and
getting me what They could but they also had to share the love
because there were other PR ends and other nurses that were
trying to get ours and that were canceled.
And and if you were PRN and you didn't work, you don't get paid,
we didn't have PTO or PPL Ernie, you know pockets of hours that
could help subsequent those that time.
Lost. Yeah.
And and there was even programs in the beginning at the facility
that if you work full time and you did get cancelled there was
like funds that would pay you because it was like not your
fault that you got cancelled but I didn't get all of those
benefits as well being parents. So there was there was a lot
that I was kind of just trying to find my purpose of.
I couldn't do a job that I love that I felt like I was, I always
thought I was born for the bedside.
I was very hopeful that I had about six months six to eight
months less than a year of experience at the bedside before
covid head, which I am looking back.
Very thankful because I Helped precept a couple nurses and just
seeing what these new nurses are having to go through right off
the bat. It is scary.
Yeah, yeah. And what I think is so
interesting about what you're talking about is that through
this. And again, this is something
that I always find and all these Journeys.
So strange, it's this little morsel of difficulty, strain,
disappointment something with their nursing career.
That's just not going, right? That leads them to Spend a
little more time in silence a little more time with themselves
that then Sparks them Sparks the Ingenuity right of building
something for themselves. Not here you are sitting on the
couch cancelled week after week after week and instead of
watching just yes hours of Netflix and chilling.
You're just like and I did that or I did that.
But I was getting I was losing my mind because nurses were busy
bodies. Like I need to do something and
I slept all day thinking I was going into Work.
Because God forbid, I didn't do that and then they actually do.
Because that happened one time, because I was like, oh, I'm not
going to go and I might get cancelled.
Nope, we had a lot of Holland. It just was a point where it's
like, okay, I had, I had my Cricut, I bought a cricket for
my wedding that I got married in September of 20, 20 hours of
covid Bride. And after that was kind of all
said and done. I still just needed an outlet
because thankfully I had that creative outlet with my wedding.
I DIY do, love my wedding signs, just a cost and did my
invitations and just kind of played with it.
Way and I needed something else once that was done and I wasn't
getting, you know, my purpose from going to work or going to
do the job that I may be signed up for.
And it honestly started with me making like glitter ornament
recipes and just trying it out like different stupid stuff
Tick-Tock and I would video record myself and still to this
day, my highest viewed video on my tic toc account.
Is me testing. Eating out a glitter ornament
recipe. Oh my goodness.
So you simply just all kind of started.
Yeah, I was just with cricketing and then once I started going
back to work a little bit more, I kind of just wanted something
for myself because I had the Motions like okay, if you look
good, you feel good, you're gonna have a good shift.
It's, you know, it's going to be good if I have a bright Rainbow
on my shirt. Nothing bad can happen today,
right? So that was, that was my
mentality. So that's what I did.
I put Emo on my on my t-shirt and I put peas nurse under it
and I walked around my unit and got a couple girls are like oh
my gosh that's so cute. Could you make me one made a
couple for the girls in my unit and some of the floaters that
were traveling all the different units.
And that's honestly like how it all kind of snowballs.
It was getting too overwhelming. Keeping track of everything in
my Instagram DMS and doing like a Google sheet and venmo.
I was like, you know what? I should just build a website,
right? Like, should I do this?
It was a, it was a, it was a big internal.
I was like, I'm going to nursing school.
I did not get a business. No, I do not know the first
thing about running a business. Crafting, could tell you all
about, I could tell you how to make this, this, and that I
could do it for you. Whip it up real fast to this is
game over, I will see. But, but right, right, sales
tax, no, all of the above thankfully, my husband he is in
marketing has a business degree. So he has been able to help a
lot with, you know, help kind of build some things up.
And I Is Shopify and they made it so incredibly easy.
I built my own website still to this day.
That's what you see is. I built it myself so it's made
it really easy and, and straightforward.
And it's all been a great learning opportunity and I'm
still learning. I learned something new
everyday. I'm kind of making it up as I go
along. Yeah.
No. I'm just having so much fun with
my little. Do you miss the bedside?
Yeah. Dams is the bedside.
Yeah, absolutely. And if we're talking about other
like this, Appointments. Because that's kind of another
reason why, you know, I ultimately like took the step
back is I had a back injury at the beginning of January last
year. I herniated or what did two of
my disks from pulling a portion? Or what did you caught about to
two weeks prior to the straw on the camel's back?
That put me in the emergency room.
I had a patient that came in at 3:00 in the morning.
He was a total care patient. And he did not have a training
system underneath, or transfer. To him from the gurney to the
bed when he came up from admission and, you know, me
being resourceful and parents. It's late, it's 3:00 in the
morning. I just want to get my questions
done, so I can let you guys try to get some sleep because you've
been in the ER, all day Semion and a couple dues got
resourceful. And we took the corners of the
fitted sheet on the gurney and we transferred him and I felt
something I felt a strain. And for two weeks, I worked
Christmas Eve. I worked, New Year's Eve, and
then Then I strong the camel's back.
I put a pizza in the oven and herniated to, of my disks on
January 7th, oh my goodness. And this little injury, like,
you kind of not worth it up at work.
And this is what I did then I didn't told me either.
I was just about to say, they told me I was young and then I
should be fine. And I didn't file a report and I
still have back problems to this day.
From a very yeah, our situation. And so here we are 30.
He's 30s and you hurt on the job.
Yes. And will carry this until the
day whatever. Yeah.
And what did you do for your back?
Did you end up having to get like, you know, they just did
like rest or they did an MRI, would they thankfully?
It wasn't bad enough where I needed surgery.
They said I was really lucky where it wasn't that bad?
Could I have gotten surgery? Yes.
What would that have? Maybe been up my recovery.
Yes, but it's back surgery. My dad has had two spinal
fusions in his life. And the first one, he was 46, I
just turned 28 and I don't have kids yet, but I do want a family
and I do want to live my longest healthiest life.
I want to travel, I want to, I want to do all these things and
I can't do that with the bad back and I'll tell you Sandra,
it was, I didn't work for five months.
It was. And I'm going to try to like,
not cry but it was like, the hardest experience that I've
ever gone through in my entire life.
Physically. Mentally emotionally it was
trauma was traumatic. The whole the whole thing from
the actual injury itself to all the time that it took all I
could really do is physical therapy and medication and
Chiropractic adjustments, and those only went so far.
PT destroyed me, it's sucked. It made things like, even like
worse. I wasn't progressing at all.
My insurance wouldn't cover steroids, which is ultimately
what my doctor thought that I needed.
And I tried like dry needling which is basically a elevated
version of acupuncture, the needles like this long versus
this long and they go in and they tap your bone to create a
micro injury and send signals to your brain to science.
Yeah. Try it on science.
They had weight restrictions and was trying to work with my
management team on trying to get me back to work and also get me
back to work with a realistic. Wait, Action for what we were
doing at the bedside. Yeah.
And there was a couple of times where I brought up my
restrictions and they're like, I'm sorry we can't accommodate
this. It just be too much.
It would be to like step. You're too much of a burden on
the unit because you're not yelling your weight right.
Really you're not pulling somebody else's weight is really
what it is. I'm pulling my weight but now
you're asking me to pull somebody else's physical weight
and yet now I've been there girl I know exactly what you're
talking about. Bingo awful.
So ultimately Yeah, I did go back.
I went back and met from January and I went back with a weight
restriction and even like an hour restriction, like I
couldn't work 12-hour shifts. I'd thankfully being pure and I
had the luxury of scheduling myself in the holes and pocket.
So I was able to kind of break my shifts up, which I needed to
do. Because even with the weight
restriction, you're running around like a chicken with your
head. Cut off, you have less
resources. There were days where I was in
charge. And I had a full assignment at
three patients of myself in charge from 15 to 23 with a
weight restriction and a bad back.
Yeah, yeah, no. I've been every step you're
having pain. Every time you bend over to get
a urinal from the supply room. It's everything.
Is pinned it on your back, especially in nursing.
You've got sciatic running down your leg.
You're just your constant pain. I know exactly what you're
talking about. I've had it happen to me and
more nurses. Don't talk about it and I'm so
Sorry, I know exactly what you're what you dealt with Tango
and you know what? We just keep working.
There's just doing it and you're so tired.
And then again, you feel like this burden on your unit and yet
here I am charging taking a team and I'm hurt, I'm playing her
and you nobody acknowledges that were playing her.
You're getting the same pay for playing hurt that you get
whenever your girl everybody already know exactly where you
are. And so I think it is again,
incumbent upon nurses to talk about The stuff.
So that total systems can start to go like oh wait a minute.
What are we doing to people here?
These poor nurses, poor theirselves out.
Literally, I caught a guy who had a brain surgery.
He, you know, I was working neurosurg.
So they're all they're all operated on.
Everybody is cuckoo everyone's either cuckoo or fallen over
because there's no surgery. And so this guy was both, he was
cuckoo and falling over. And so I looked about like,
don't move stay right there. I gotta go do something.
So, I went to go grab something. And straddle Both Worlds.
And homeboy was like, see you later and he just goes to fall.
So your natural reaction is to catch them.
And I'm like, oh my God, my back.
And then you go to try to get help you try to get support and
they're like, yeah, we don't, we need you, we need you in there
like in the trenches working. I'm like I can't carry So
eventually you just end up going.
So it's either me or you. I have to pick myself because if
not exactly what it came down to it was I Some some instance came
to light and I finally had to just ask myself, is it worth it?
And because it was obvious to me at the time that there were
definitely people that did have my back and did support me, but
there was a lot of people that didn't and working a job that's
already impossible and not having Some of the support that
you need. It's like, I don't want to see
this, my dad doesn't literally literally and figuratively need
to have your back. And when I wasn't feeling that I
needed to ask myself if it was worth it, the cost that I was,
you know, bringing up to the table, physically, mentally
emotionally. I have two things to say.
First off, what price would you put on a bad back?
That's pretty much Priceless. I'm not gonna like, I couldn't,
I have a really high price for how much my back is worth, so
there's no not there. I wouldn't wish it on anybody on
my worst enemy, it's every move, right?
Every time you reach your touch your minutes, everything, right?
So that's the first thing, the second thing, my dad said that I
thought was critical, as I was going through things as a nurse,
a lot of tough, tough stuff. The field of nursing there is
too much room for errors for people to not have your back.
So if you don't have a, my dad said that to me.
And I didn't quite understand because I was really young.
That's it going through all this stuff. 2223 button.
It's such a great line and my dad, so smart.
And just he's just he's very smart man.
Very smart man. And he said that to me, he said,
Sandra this career. There are too many areas where
you are vulnerable already. Yes.
Yes, that is that people don't have your back to cover you to
go like oh this is Nurse left this out or oh my goodness.
Sure pump is beeping or only or let me know.
I'll transferring a patient or she needs help transferring a
patient or whatever. People don't have your literal
back and your figurative back then that job you can't do it
anymore, it's not safe. And so when he told me that I
realize I needed to leave the 40's on because I was like, oh,
he's right, I am so much more vulnerable, not only am I
physically vulnerable. But now, my in work Dynamics
have made me vulnerable as well, because people don't think I'm
pulling my weight. People think that I'm constantly
asking like, hey, can you help me in here?
Because I can't, I can't live. Lift and they're like, man.
I've got like my stuff and I got to do your stuff.
Like there's such a dynamic that if you don't have, you don't
want to be the person to that. You don't want to be the cause
of annoyance. That's the last thing I want to
do, but I'm not here to annoy you.
I'm here to try to do my job to the best of my abilities.
Just like, you are, and I can't do my job.
If there aren't certain things set in place for all of us to be
successful, not only me, but I was, I got to the point And like
we were saying about safety, not only my safety was at risk at
times, but it was starting to get to my patient safety.
And that's what I'm not okay, with and that's where I had to
draw the line because it was, I stayed a lot longer than I
should have looking back. I will, I yeah, it knowing what
I know. Now, I should have listened to
my gut and not my heart because in my heart, I was, you know,
trying to be the team player that I thought.
Thought they wanted, and I just wanted, you know, everyone else
was all going through everything.
And what they went through, when I was at home, my leave and what
they had to endure when they were working in covid.
And I was pushed to the covid vaccine clinic, it just wasn't
conducive for anybody. And I tried, I really did.
I worked my management. I tried to go in with a positive
attitude and spread my sunshine where I could.
And it just wasn't working anymore.
Melanie had to go. Yeah.
Because you were PRN, do you think that you were treated
differently? Yeah. 1000%, any PR, and that
worked on my floor will tell you the exact same story.
Yeah, yeah. So your peer and now you're back
is hurt. So now you're worth, even less,
is that there were times when I went in for a bonus shift
because they were just sending out calls all the time, like,
please come and help us were so short.
Short-staffed. Because there was a time where,
when we were so low, in senses, a bunch of turn nurses quit
because they needed to provide for their families.
Especially the pr Runners is there like I can't just not
work. So a lot of them left the
facility and either went into different lines of nursing or
different, you know, places. But I was in a position where I
like could, you know, play it out and pick up extra bonus
shifts here and there and and I was passionate about The mission
of the facility and I want it. I worked my butt off to get
there. I wanted, I wanted to be there,
and it's disappointing now. And this is where it's like, I'm
not disappointed that it all happened because everything
happens for a reason. I'm a very strong believer in
that. And obviously, obviously those
happened in life, those crusty corner has saved my life and
like, more ways than one. I'm not even kidding.
You it is been such a joy and a blessing and to be able to like
use my creative Outlets to help spread that joy to my friends
who want to receive it. That's what I'm here for.
Yeah yeah. It's you know honestly I love
what you just said, you answered so many of my questions.
Looks like the challenge of your career.
What drove you to start your own business.
What is the morning for you? What does it do for you?
And I'm going to be honest, you know you sharing this is giving
me a level of Brave of Bravery to share like I've enjoyed it as
well as a part-time nurse practitioner.
I have not talked about this on the podcast because I feel so
many things that you described as well, where you said.
I just I don't want to be a failure.
I just wanted to keep going, I knew in my gut I should have
left a lot sooner. These things that you're saying,
I know other people are thinking and they feel.
And so like I'll even share awake with my nursing job.
Currently, I have had issues as a nurse practitioner being part
time with not just Management. But the other people that I work
with being upset that, I'm part-time as a nurse
practitioner in this role and you're thinking, wait a minute,
like I'm choosing this. I'm taking the pay cut, I'm the
one that's wanting the balance and yet, I'm having so much out
of my City from those that I work with.
And so you are not alone in this.
This is not something that you are you dealing with alone.
I have never talked about it openly on the podcast because I
felt like oh there's a level of Shame, Surrounding this.
I thought I was alone. I thought.
Wait, why is it my sunshine appreciated?
But again your you telling that story I know is making other
people that are listening. Go oh my gosh I wasn't alone.
I did experience right. And so again it had just Spurs
you to go get your own thing. Go do.
The thing that's going to bring you Joy because you're not going
to be appreciated. If you're trying to find that
balance in the hospital setting. Thanks for listening to the
episode. I hope you're enjoying the
conversation. I wanted to take this time and
and you to check out the success and P @c shop.
It's a shop that I design with my best girlfriend, cute nurse,
practitioner gear, hats bags, anything you could think of, as
well as adorable, digital products, mom life stuff.
So resources for nurses to come, we were just excited about our
shop. It's another way to support the
podcast and to get really cool gear.
Check it out and be sure to tell your friends about the podcast.
Rosie as you shop if you'd like. And when I'm building here, any
promotion, any sharing helps build my audience and I greatly
appreciate it. Now, let's get back to the
episode, go ahead. I just keep preaching, you have
to do what's best for you, whatever that looks like.
If it works great for you and your life, with your work life,
balance to work part-time, that's great.
If it doesn't work for somebody else because they may be their
financials are different, they have to work full-time, okay?
That's that's what you have to do.
That's what's best for you, and your situation.
That's what? And And and it's, it's hard
dealing with people who have big thoughts and opinions about
doing things kind of against the grid, right?
And especially like, in nurses, and I've gotten a lot, and I'm
sure maybe you can appreciate this, oh, you went through all
that work of getting that degree and going through school and
you're not even, you're not even a nurse anymore.
Oh, no, honey. I am still a nurse.
I work really hard for those letters.
They are still behind my last name.
I'm just not practicing, nursing, right.
And arguably, I'm still practicing my nursing and other
just creative ways. Come on, come on, come on, doing
a mentorship program with a local universe.
So I have like a mentor that I have under my wing and we help
her out a little ways that I can.
And obviously I have Mel's crafty Corner in this just safe
space and that community that it's brought me.
And yes it's just, it's so important and it's really
interesting that you bring up like the vulnerability and being
open and honest. It's because it has been really
hard for me to do and there are aspects that I do want to share
more about but at this point in time, I feel like I can't and
that's really sad because there was one point where I did speak
up a little bit about why I left the bedside.
And it took me four months to bring up the courage to let my
community know that I wasn't working as a bedside nurse
anymore. For X, Y and Z and then getting
A lot of love and appreciation from other people.
Saying, thank you so much. Like I needed to hear this, you
know, I was, I'm debating on leaving in this helps, you know,
showcase me. That there is something better
out there for me because I'm not happy.
And I want to be happy because we deserve, we have this one
life, right? Like we deserve everything good
that it has to offer. So like why are we wasting our
time with negativity and toxic environments?
And just crap we don't need it. We don't need it.
I don't Don't need it. If that's something that you
need. Okay?
Then that's fine. You just fester in it but I'm
not going to let it happen to me anymore.
Yeah, I have done no, too much rolling over in my life that I
am not going to let it happen anymore because I know it's
helping other people like you said like it's and I do, you
know, want to be more and I am very vulnerable on my especially
my Instagram stories you'll find me very emotional and obviously
I was crying earlier in this podcast so I am no.
You know, I always tell my friends.
It's yeah, I'm no stranger to emotions, look.
It's okay to have mixed feelings.
It is. Okay, to have feel the sense of
Shame and guilt. And I even went through my own
sense of identity, crisis of like, okay, I have this nurse
brand, but I'm not practicing a nurse.
I don't go to work in the hospital anymore but he's so
there's there's been a lot of. Yeah.
My own personal like self-identity that I'm trying to
still kind of figure out because I am still a nurse.
I'm just not practicing that aspect anymore.
Not to say that I'll never go back to nursing.
I do still I miss patient interaction.
So so much. I even thought about just doing
like some home care or something, just like find a
client. Just go to their house once a
week handle their pump settings. Do I don't know something?
Because I just I just I just miss that, like, that was, that
was my bread and butter. Like, that's why I went to work
for. I didn't go to work for the
politics or the fluff. I went, for my, I went for my
friends, that's what I call them.
My I call my patients, my friends.
Rendon never room because that's what I was there for.
So I do miss that. And there are aspects of the
nursing career that I do miss, of course, because that's what I
ultimately went to school for. And that's what I want to do.
That's another reason why I'm like, so open and honest and
vulnerable about it because it is okay that your passions and
your paths can like change or skew, or like go back there or
whatever as long. As you're happy on your journey,
that's all that matters because there have been too many points
in my life where I have not been happy in my journey and I've
been trying to make other people happy, oh, come on.
It has just demolished me in the end, so yes, and that's what
I've always done. My mistake test is to enjoy the
journey. And at some point, when you're
not enjoying your journey and nursing it's time for a change,
which is what this case is about.
If you are not happy with what you're doing, if you are not
enjoying nursing, if you are not Figuring out where your path is
supposed to go and you're lost and confused like come listen to
these nurses that were in similar situations that were
going through stuff that were like, but I'm going to make
nursing work for me and then when you do find that Rhythm
then you find out, oh my goodness.
I'm having to fight against people that aren't happy.
That I'm making nursing work for me, and it's because maybe
they're in that situation where they haven't done that work.
They haven't made nursing work for them, so they're miserable,
right? And they just want, They're
unhappy, they're unhappy to see you using your skill set, other
things and you're making nursing work for you.
I think that more nurses need and I think I'm going to just
say this as well, more Hospital Systems need to be paying nurses
and paying attention to nurses that are getting burned out
tired at the bedside. We need to give them
opportunities to just go like hey if you need a break go take
one. Like I made sure that for me
with raising my children, I wasn't going to be a full-time
nurse practitioner. No, certain things are going to
happen. I pay is going to get cut.
I'm not going to have opportunities like other
full-time nurse practitioners. I let those things go.
But then to receive the Clash of other people at your job that
are like, oh, I'm upset that you're not here all week.
It's like wait a minute, but I'm choosing this.
I don't have a brand new car. I don't have a super, these are
things that are fine for me, that I've decided.
Right. A journey that make me happy and
so I find it. So ironic that one, as I moved
into this space, I And a lot of backlash and it sounds like you
did as well. And again, I think oh if we're
so desperate for nurses or we're so desperate for healthcare be
people. I literally am waiting to see
doctors like two, three months at a time and you have a nurse
practitioner to fill some of that Gap.
Even if it's a couple days a week, why deny that health care
for other patients? Like it's just this incredible.
It's so funny. Every weird a couple things
comment that misery loves company.
I'll say that. Excuse you, a chance.
Is, did you hear that? He was like, yeah, yeah.
That's real of company and puppies in the back.
You guys can't see him because just a grantee sleepy baby.
But yeah, it's definitely you're gonna get back.
Yes, people have their thoughts and opinions like no matter what
you're going to do and I also say they weren't talking about
pay that hospitals, need to kind of like kicking into gear and I
can just based off of my experience because As I my
facility with working in Pediatrics, we did not get a lot
of the same benefits that other adult.
Hospitals were getting in terms of incentives for nurses to come
in extra. I had a girlfriend who was
working at Rush Medical Center and was getting Hazard.
Pay is getting two times pay and I remove that I never never got
that. You never the most I ever got
for and it was and this was only Bonus shift, but she got that
Hazard pay. Like for every shift that she
was scheduled for for like months because it was just
hazardous for them to work in those environments.
Yeah. So they got compensated for it
and the most I have ever gotten for working bonus.
So picking up an extra bonus shift and at the time you had to
like do a program. So you had to do like there were
different tiers and the levels of bonuses that you got, but it
was a time and a quarter. Or was the most that I got and
we're going to like open. Yeah.
And then you would get an extra fifty to a hundred dollars if
you picked up an extra four hours.
Wow. Like, on top of your pay but not
like I'm our yeah, it's something, yeah, it's not worth
it. If your back is hurting and
you're not being appreciated for the work that you're doing.
And so, as much as like, as much as, yes, what you do with your,
with your shop, and you're bringing joy, and people are
getting things and they come back to the like I love your
stuff and leave a review and let that you Work.
For those things, those are the intangibles of work, right?
Is that the stuff that is all appreciate what you're doing?
Yeah. They appreciate that.
They appreciate the little subtle nuances.
Like, I had a mental health collection that I dropped last
year. That's become a while
bestseller. And kind of snowballed a lot of
my floral designs, but instead be kind to your mind, it's a
floral brain. And then I also had a floral
serotonin. That was the first moleculars I
saw this. Happy drug that I did.
And then I did, I added Dopamine and oxytocin to that.
So there are still aspects of like Medical, but like, you
don't have to necessarily be a nurse to buy it even though I do
have like nurse murch. But yeah, just try to like
create things that just make people happy and that they feel
good when they wear it. So then when I get the comments
back that, you know, they were having a really hard time and
one time that they decided to treat themselves and Themselves,
a new sweater that I made, and then their five-year-old son
comments on them saying that she looks beautiful and it just like
sends her into like a spiral of like Good Feet.
All the dopamine is running through her body and then it's
running through my mind and it's just all I'll feel good.
It's it does it just feels so good to ya.
Be appreciated and not be questioned of why we're doing
what we're doing. I did another podcast in the
asked, you know, what advice I would give my younger self and
it was that I don't know where it is.
You're not doing this for them. They're not who you're doing
this for. So I always keep trying.
What do you mean by that? The bullies, the haters, the
people who don't get it, you're not doing it for them.
You're doing it for the people that need and appreciate and
that are not happy in their careers.
I don't feel fulfilled and their life and need, you know, some
sense of community and purpose and that's kind of something
that I've been able to. Help.
Not only my fellow nurses, who either struggling with being a
nurse and all of that, that entails or its other small
business owners. Now, who can relate to, you
know, doing this full time or whatever.
It's I've kind of collected people from all walks of life.
Mmm, fun. You know what I was thinking
when you're talking, I feel like what you're saying and what I'm
hearing is find your own tribe. Amen, your Vibe is your tribe,
right? Like instead of being I'm so
bummed that your floor. Nurses don't like you or I'm
getting all this extra hate and all this extra and I'm ready and
all these different things or maybe they're, you know that
you're working on isn't for you anymore.
Like if you are a new nurse after you started on a floor and
it's just not vibing with you. It's not bringing you Joy, it's
okay to leave. You happened.
Like, and I even try to tell some of my newer nurses that
came on and I could kind of tell that maybe their heart wasn't in
it. And And it's not like they need
permission but sometimes people just need like the okay from
somebody else that like, no, like you don't have to do this.
It like if you're not happy you don't have to be here.
Like we want you to be fulfilled.
Like, if you're miserable here, like, that's not going to help
anybody. It was like we so it's like,
it's okay. Yeah, I even had a girl on my
newer, nurses that. Yeah, she came to me, when I was
in charge, when I was just like, I just feel so lost.
Like, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't have the support
that I feel like I need You know, I'm running around and I
just was weighing on her, she was feeling the burn out and
she's only been a nurse for a couple months, and only been by
herself off of orientation for, like, two months at the time and
just feeling like lost. And I just like swooped her into
a big hugs. I know exactly how she felt in
that moment. And like I said, thankfully, I
had some experience under my belt to, like feel, okay, with
feeling like you're drowning but I just told her it's okay to
like that. This isn't for you, it's okay.
That it's not what you expected because my expectations have
changed and that's okay, that's time.
And now it's something that, you know, that you did and that you
tried and then you can take the experience that you learned from
here and put it towards your next Journey.
Whatever that is exactly and go find that thing that again,
there's so many Avenues to nursing, there's Home Care.
Like, yes. Like I just go be a home care
nurse or I know do infusion pump nurse or I can go be a vaccine
yan'er. So, I can go.
Would you tell medicine or I can go do all these?
I can go work as an Adjunct professor.
I can go all these different things that you can do that.
Again, go into these systems and then you might go.
Oh, these are my people like I wasn't.
Yeah. With that group, and that
doesn't mean any time. There's something innately wrong
with me. There's nothing inherently wrong
with you is just humor, a square peg in a round hole.
You just didn't fit there. And so again on top of it,
great, we'll look at that, right?
Like, it's like nothing wrong with me.
There's just I was home. Spot.
And so. Yes, a different points in my
career, I'm starting to learn this and then as I move into
this kind of entrepreneurial space of building these things,
and I'm like, what is it that I'm good.
I can go and be my full self and again, using emotional
intelligence, making sure that I'm doing all the different.
Yeah, we've got our easy for me, but then also, I got to work on
it because I'm just not super great at these things or
whatever aspects, right, improving myself.
But for the most part, who I am in the way that I am is not
wrong, I just might have been on the The wrong space.
And so I love that you say like my sunshine.
I just want to be how I am and yeah, then you found your little
corner that you can craft and you could do the things that
don't worry, that you can be yourself, you can fully express
yourself and not feel like I can't do that because I have to
be a certain person. Yeah, exactly.
As I've done for me but I love about it, I love that about it
because then when you go into the hospital setting, You've Got
A Renewed sense of vigor that you can have.
Of a buffer at times to handle the stuff that goes on in the
hospital because you have that space where you're fully
yourself and that you don't write be anything else.
And so writing, the problem then is that you might start to
encounter some of these interpersonal things that you
have to deal with other people that I did not anticipate
either. So I think it's really good that
we talked about that today on the podcast because yeah, I
think people need to realize that that sometimes when you do
move in that space, you're going to meet opposition that you
don't anticipate that you're like, wow, I can't believe I'm
here, and that's okay. Yes, then again, I didn't ask to
have a bad back, I didn't ask to have it herniate, you know,
covid happened, nobody at nobody asked for that, but it's taking
what you have right in front of you and using all of the tools
that you have gathered in your life during me and taking it
wherever you want to go next. Wow, I love it.
I love it. Yes, my queen that I will, that
I will just make is just make sure that whatever.
You do is that you are protecting your peace.
And what I mean by that is, is making sure that in this is
something I have to remind myself to is like being a
business. And because there are things
that have taken some of the joy out of it, like answering emails
and like doing returns. And taxes are super fun but it's
making sure that I'm protecting my piece to and recouping and
not getting burnt out so that I can keep because this is fun and
I want to keep it fun. One.
So I have to remind myself those times and just, I'm not concept,
goes for everybody, just protect your peace.
What whether saying no to something or saying, yes to
something, you know? Yeah.
Goes for setting up those systems to protect your piece to
because our systems, you can put in place that can help kind of
go. Like, I love, I love how you
told me before the park has. You're like, I don't do these
things on Sunday. It's just my it's just my rule
and the room stick to it. You're just like not doing it.
I protect my PS and so Like there are so many things I can
always be doing, but I'm not willing to yes.
Yeah. And you know what and I think
that even from and I always talk about the Bible in my podcast
because I think that it's important for life and I you
know, people think Greer disagree with me on yeah
biblical matters. But let me tell you something.
There was the god of the universe worked for six days of
the of the week. And then he rested on one Dame
and the god of the universe has to rest by says all the time on
my podcast, if the god of the universe has to rest.
What makes you think that you can just continue to keep
working and burn yourself out he protected against it.
You are not even God, make sure to protect against the burnout
and it gives room for the universe to create opportunities
for you. If you are constantly working
and you want resting when things happen during rest periods for
me, I'm like that doesn't make any sense.
I haven't even been right, but this show up.
I haven't even been right. It's like, oh, because someone's
taking care of me. It's because I'm not in control.
And so I always talk about that. My podcast that yes, I don't
love that are doing things and you are creating and you are
working. But there is a need for space to
let God work because if you just continue to burn yourself out,
you will look back and go. Oh, I did it all.
He didn't do it all. And now and you've got to create
that that buffer to allow for this verse, for me.
It's it's God to just work and so.
Absolutely create space for rest because ye deemed men, He deemed
it appropriate, he shows you, what to do, he created you, let
him show you. Hey, listen, I catch you, right
feign love it. Hey, I love it.
Yeah, we got, we got to do that. I want you to print and I got, I
feel like we haven't really talked about your product, but I
am gonna tell you something, Melanie, I, I was not expecting
the conversation to go in this direction and I think it's me,
neither looking cool, like, where we started and where were
ending. Yeah, I just think it's been so
incredible and I just, I don't know.
I just 30 minutes. Wait, for this podcast episode
because I have felt that it has been just me and especially in
this nurse, entrepreneur realm who have left, the bedside.
And I've had to deal with some of the repercussions of that.
And I don't think it's talked about enough and I am happy that
we are both opening up our own chapters.
Yeah. And sharing know, it's true
because I think like you said, you do you, you pour yourself
into the career and to the job and then, when you See how it
all goes down. And you leave it like that.
And then you've got no one to talk to about it.
It just feels like this. Like really like Scarlet Letter.
It feels like a Scarlet Letter and to like jab, right more.
That book is cool. Yeah, and then whenever you show
your scarlet letter and now I just probably where the pain I'm
like, here I am. This is like I got burned by
this career field and I don't think I'm a bad nurse.
I don't think that I'm a bad. No partitioner.
I actually feel like I have a level of sunshine that I yes to
bring to the Airways or to my melts crafty corner.
And if you're working less, then sometimes be able to provide
more of that Sunshine because you don't know exactly what the
little bit more. Exactly.
And so maybe that's the answer to those other and I think we
said that we pretty much alluded to that that's why they are so
angry and so I do just come out of here you tell me this.
Yeah she she said that to me it's like well it's because you
were pure and we were all working full time so it's hard
coming in with It is easy to come in with a positive
attitude. When you're only here one or two
days a week, that's how she works ironic, isn't it?
Maybe you should join me? I mean, come on maybe instead of
looking at me adversarially, maybe you go to your
Administration and you go listen I'm miserable.
I want what she has Right. Comes in here right now.
I'm miserable so put me out there in.
Y'all are desperate for people, do good for people to come in
here and take care of people. So right put me on parents
status and let me know spend some time alone with my Self.
So I can hear what my soul is crying.
I'm supposed to be changing tires.
I like doing Automotive work on top of being a nurse.
So I'm going to go do that thing on the days that I'm not working
and now you start side hustle. Now, you're doing some other
stuff and people you don't even looking to get paid, you just
like changing tires. So, and then you start doing it,
you work as a nurse couple days a week, you go in joyful, you
leave that comment. You do your other thing and all
of a sudden now you're like wait a minute, how is it that?
I'm okay. Well, I'd only want to work one
day a week as a nurse and you Again, you were creating the
life in the journey that you want and I'm protecting our
peace. Yes.
And I think it's beautiful that you shared that.
That's the thing you miss is to take into taking care of people
because I doing there is something so beautiful about
stepping into the trenches. When someone is sick and taking
care of them and seeing them become well or them go through
that journey and being a part of someone's story as a nurse.
It's so beautiful. I just had my baby like, and
that was the most important. Was the nursing yes that I got.
Yes. Period point blank.
What were you going to say especially working in Pediatrics
to like and especially in my population that I worked and we
had a lot of chronic patients that we would see, you know, I
had one patient that I sat with, as a sitter, a lot, he was a
little boy that had lots of tubes and like to pull and was,
you know, just needed somebody in there to help keep you safe,
because if one of those tubes without it was an emergency and
even I got to care for him. You know, as a nurse in such an
grow and and just the resiliency in children, it just blows my
mind like the same patient that I'm talking about.
He wasn't even supposed to make it out of the NICU.
And he's turning seven this year and able and it's and it's being
with those patients and like and that's what I'm talking about
like missing the patient care and I'll mention this because I
think it speaks volume to maybe the situation when I came back
with my weight restriction, I was putting Addition I took on a
patient that was above my weight restriction and I it was a
really tough situation. I won't get into like the
details but ultimately I got a daisy nomination out of it.
And in the valuation, the mom even mentioned that.
She knew that I was not supposed to be their nurse and she was so
thankful that the universe or God put me in with them at that
time because they don't think that they would have gotten
through it with Anyone else? So I knew what I was doing with
making an impact. Yeah, even if I wasn't supposed
to be doing it and even if she was right, all right, and even
even if I was getting rich hours, looking at my garden that
I've collected like yeah, it's and I think it also kind of goes
to speak Volume 2. For the administrative side to
is I've seen a lot of good nurses.
Get pushed out. Hmm.
Yeah. And they keep rewarding yes.
Some of the People that have today.
Yeah, the bullies, they reward, the bullies, the bullies move
out, the bullies, get promoted the daisies.
Yes, yeah. Yeah.
They get promoted or they get the paper back and we get shoved
out the door. Yes.
Yeah, yeah. So I and it breaks my heart and
yeah I breaks my heart. I think it's so incredible to
hear your journey and to know like the start of your business
was the start of you prioritizing yourself and
putting yourself first, And through that, you know, yes you
wish you could have kept nursing and maybe you'll go back.
It's not necessarily meaning that you're never going to do
it. But right, there is an element
of when you do start prioritizing yourself, you'll
start to find what brings you Joy and you'll be able to move
in that space and it might set you free from the other stuff
that you're doing in the bedside.
She was totally falling asleep. So funny, good.
So, for the last part of the podcast, which again, I know
we've totally got all over the place, but I This is where it
was. I'm loving everything about
this. So I material with it me as
well. Please tell my listeners where
they can find you, they can find your little shop.
Find You On, Ya G, all the little things.
Tell me you can find me a lot of different places you can find my
shop Mills crafty corner at shop males, crafty corner.com, you
can find me on the loom of my Marketplace, I'm actually have a
couple products posted in there. It's a platform for healthcare
workers, all alike, getting resources and different things.
So you'll find a couple of my products on there.
If you You have the Little Five Points, you can use it towards
that and they run the sales and stuff.
So that's one place you can shop.
You can find me a lot on Instagram and very vulnerable in
my stories. So definitely watch their you
need a little bit of vulnerability or feeling like
you're you're not alone Tick-Tock to I've been sharing
more of like my thoughts more on their little bit more
loosey-goosey. Yeah I'm living in that era
right now, I love it. Us live.
Say, you can find me on Instagram, Tick-Tock find my
shop. Males crafty Corner comes out.
Yeah, be friends. I would love that and for the
last part of the podcast, well, my last part of the podcast is
the rapid fire questions questions push.
Are you ready? Are you ready man?
Yes, let's do it. What is the last thing you
watched on TV? Netflix and chill?
What was it? The last of us, the last night's
of us. I think I finished, we finished
the series last night's on the HBO Max.
Have you seen? Part of it.
Not none of it. None of it.
My mom game. Is it good?
That's fair. Yeah.
It is really good. So, little back story.
It's based off of a video game called The Last of Us where
it's, like, apocalyptic kind of zombie.
But not all this guy and this girl that he picks up along the
way and try to save her. She's supposed to save the
universe and hopefully have a cure for the apocalypse and kind
of comes through their Journey. It's really good though.
I really like shows that I like the depth to it though.
Like there's some like there's not that much, it's not zombie
heavy. It's more like emotional
storytelling back and how is she the way that she is?
Why is he the way that he is? Yeah, you're doing a lot of
character development dram. I love it.
I like love it. Yes.
So that's where you go, when you want to be alone what do you go
to? Like just your kind of got a
mouse crafty corner and I shut the door.
I either do that or one of my guilty pleasures that I've been
trying to do more of for me, is massages, especially for my
body. They've been really with my back
injury. My muscles have never been the
same with the amount of spasms and sciatica that I've
experienced. There's not that my massage
therapist didn't even know existed and she's been doing
this for like 25 years. So that's been, that's for me.
But Mel's crap. I'm going to actually say this
to you, never, you've got like stressed I It manifest yeah like
physically and so that's probably why she's running not.
She's ever found before because it's a nurse is back that
carries the stress of an anxiety of the floor.
So I think it's like as you like step away for them for their way
from that stress, you'll get stronger as my like, oh yeah,
like my little bit who knew like thoughts and if you could learn
any language, what would it be? And why.
Ooh well I know sign language. Fun facts Tom I did not know.
Yes. That's great.
Was my that was my foreign language in college.
I tried Spanish in high school. I passed the first semester year
to destroyed me. I literally the nails that was
the only like I had to pull out of the class before the
deadline. Otherwise I would have gotten an
F on my report card or sure. But I would say I was a witch.
That's cool. Yeah.
So I know sign language but if I would want to like learn one I
would love to learn Swahili. Is that friend?
I'm not from your time and wait but that To Kenya.
I know that I saw that I went to Kenya.
Yeah. With your instructor met her
like parents stayed in her Hive. It was like really unusual.
So, I was walking. Yes.
I went with my College of Nursing.
Yeah. I learned a couple words and
phrases but it's just a beautiful language and us to
learn more cool. Well, now again, thank you for
coming out to the podcast today. Thank you for being so much for
inviting me. Oh my goodness.
I honestly, I'm gonna repeat. Yes.
I was just going to do it spilled.
Therapeutic for both of us so good.
I hope that against somebody got something out of this that we
were able to connect to that people can see the importance of
doing something for yourself and yeah, protecting I do for you
girlfriend, love it. All the friends.
I'm just gonna need all the friends, we love you.
Thank you so much for having me. I would love to come back to
chat more. Maybe more of the topics that
you wanted to talk about originally, but we kind of got
on our own. Journey.
I think that was what we talked about today.
I leave it like open like yes, I have like a structure and I
think about certain things, but then I'm also like, all right,
just guide the conversation, you were supposed to be and I accept
it for what it's supposed to be. So I think this is gonna sound
like we both needed a little bit of this today.
Yeah, yeah. I appreciate you so much for
allowing me to be in the safe space with you and to speak our
truths. And yes, yeah, I just, I really
hope that it helps somebody. I know it will so whoever I
think so, huh. Oops, you.
Thank you for being here and listening, allowing us the
opportunity to provide insights. And guys, don't forget to enjoy
the journey of your nursing career.
Thanks for hanging Men by Q. So that's a wrap.
Be sure to subscribe to the show so you don't miss an episode and
leave me a review. If you like the show, I would
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