1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,300
Welcome to the doctor nurse 
podcast. 

2
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:05,400
This week, we're going to be 
talking with David Metzger. 

3
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:10,700
He is a pediatric oncology nurse
podcaster in the author of his 

4
00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:13,500
most recently titled book nurse 
Papa. 

5
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:17,400
He encounters, the crazy 
intersections of his life as a 

6
00:00:17,407 --> 00:00:21,700
dad to healthy kids and his role
as a nurse caring for sick. 

7
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:26,100
Kids, David is also the host in 
the creator of the nurse Papa 

8
00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:29,800
podcast in which he shares in 
normalizes his wild stories of 

9
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,800
Parenthood. 
This episode today is a wild 

10
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,400
ride and can be tough to hear 
it. 

11
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,500
X get some tissues you might 
want to have your kiddos close 

12
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,500
so you can hug them after the 
episode. 

13
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,700
I definitely walked over after 
recording this episode and gave 

14
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:48,300
my kid a really big hug. 
I wanted to share a little 

15
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:53,300
excerpt from his book titled 
nurse Papa, because I think that

16
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:59,600
it really describes what he's 
trying to merge as he writes his

17
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,900
Inches down as a nurse taking 
care of, pediatric, oncology 

18
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:07,400
children. 
And then as a dad, here we go. 

19
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:11,900
Before it was a father, I 
foolishly considered myself to 

20
00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:15,000
be somewhat of an expert in the 
hearts and minds of children. 

21
00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:18,400
And one uniquely equipped to 
maintain my cool. 

22
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:22,500
When those hearts and Minds 
erupted, I had taken care of 

23
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:25,900
thousands of kids. 
I had seen close up, what makes 

24
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:30,100
many of them tick and often how 
to work around those things. 

25
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,400
I learned very quickly though, 
that being a parent is 

26
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:37,100
infinitely, more difficult and 
complicated than caring for the 

27
00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:43,300
children of there's that excerpt
is taken from break, from 

28
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:50,700
heartbreak a slice of fatherhood
from his book nurse Papa Again 

29
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:54,800
that's just a really short clip 
of how he writes and what he's 

30
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,400
trying to do in his writing, it 
is incredibly inspirational. 

31
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,900
I know you're going to walk away
from this episode and want to 

32
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:05,600
listen to his podcast and maybe 
purchase his book. 

33
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,000
I have the links in my show 
notes so that you can find 

34
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,700
exactly where all his stuff. 
He's just a really genuine 

35
00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:13,700
person. 
I really hope I present that in 

36
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:17,400
a way on today's episode. 
And before we get started, I 

37
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,000
have to tell you guys about one 
of the brands that help support 

38
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:23,700
The doctor nurse podcast 
Medicine Mountain scrubs is my 

39
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,000
favorite scrubs. 
I wear them all the time. 

40
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,200
On Instagram, I'm constantly 
dancing in them and then I also 

41
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:33,000
wear them to work. 
There are such a great brand to 

42
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,100
just try out. 
If you're looking for a new set 

43
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:38,900
of Scrubs, I love their ethics 
behind their company. 

44
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:42,600
I love that. 
It's nurse ran orianna is a 

45
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,600
nurse and she is but on my 
podcast and she supports the 

46
00:02:46,608 --> 00:02:49,400
doctor nurse podcast. 
So I really want you guys to 

47
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,600
check out her skin. 
Scrubs, support nurse owned, 

48
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,900
businesses, use code, doctor 
nurse for free, shipping off 

49
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:57,600
your order today. 
Again that's code, doctor nurse 

50
00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,200
for free shipping. 
Now, let's dive in today's 

51
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:04,900
episode. 
Welcome to the podcast David, 

52
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:08,100
I'm so happy to hear about your 
journey and kind of how you got 

53
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,600
to this spot that you are today 
in your career. 

54
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,800
Happy to have you on. 
Yeah thanks for inviting me and 

55
00:03:13,808 --> 00:03:17,500
I'm excited to talk. 
Let's take it from the top. 

56
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,800
How would you describe your 
current job title and your 

57
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,300
roles? 
What do you do for a living? 

58
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,200
I'm a pediatric oncology nurse 
and take care of kids who have 

59
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:33,100
cancer hematology disorders. 
Many of them go to You bone 

60
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,400
marrow transplant. 
So, these days primarily a bone 

61
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,900
marrow transplant nurse, which 
show know how much about 

62
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,900
pediatric cancer, but it's kind 
of the last stop for many of 

63
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,200
these kids who have a really 
refractory cancers. 

64
00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,300
They're either going to get a 
bone marrow transplant or 

65
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:50,400
they're going to die. 
I actually was an oncology nurse

66
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,800
for adults. 
Have never had to actually treat

67
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,200
children at one of the things 
that I knew, I could not 

68
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:58,600
physically emotionally handle. 
So, but I did do a stint in the 

69
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,800
bone marrow, transplant unit. 
So I do remember, taking care of

70
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,900
adult. 
That had gotten bone marrow 

71
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:06,100
transplant. 
I cannot imagine what it would 

72
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,900
be like to take care of children
that needed bone marrow 

73
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:12,700
transplants. 
So, what led you to, I guess, 

74
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,700
becoming a nurse. 
Well, that's not all you do 

75
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:17,500
correct. 
That's an incredible part of 

76
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,800
your career, but that's not the 
only part of what you do. 

77
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,400
Correct? 
Like you said, I'm a podcaster 

78
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:28,400
and I do lots of riding. 
I wrote a book before, I was a 

79
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,900
nurse, I was a sculptor and a 
painter and I actually had a 

80
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:34,400
business making kind of large. 
Girl, sculptures for hotels and 

81
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,900
restaurants and Convention 
centers for about six years 

82
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:41,300
after college. 
And then I decided I wanted to 

83
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:44,900
do something a little bit more 
humanistic with my time. 

84
00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:47,000
So, I went to nursing school, 
one of the questions, I 

85
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,800
typically ask people to take me 
through the moment, they decided

86
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,800
to become a nurse and what led 
them to become a nurse and then 

87
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,700
walk me through till the spot 
that they how they kind of made 

88
00:04:56,700 --> 00:05:00,700
those micro decisions and little
turns and shifts in their career

89
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,700
to where they are today. 
And and I guess we can take it 

90
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:07,100
from that from that point, but 
tell me a little bit about your 

91
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:10,000
podcast and kind of what it is 
that you talk about on your 

92
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:14,200
podcast and then a little bit 
more Expendable expound upon 

93
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,000
what you wrote about. 
Yeah. 

94
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:20,600
So the nurse pop of podcast. 
It's really about being a human 

95
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:24,500
parent in this world, from their
perspective, of a nurse who 

96
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:30,200
takes care of kids. 
So I tell these very typical yet

97
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,400
amazing stories about 
Parenthood. 

98
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:38,400
My fumbles and mistakes and I 
really try to normalize that 

99
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,800
there is no parent. 
That is perfect. 

100
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,200
And it's not perfect being a 
parent. 

101
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,300
That's hard. 
So there's that part of the 

102
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,800
podcast. 
I tell stories and I have 

103
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,200
another segment where called the
owners Papa, we're a listen, 

104
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,700
their rights in to me and I 
answer their parent question and

105
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:57,400
then I have a third section 
where I tell stories about 

106
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,600
nursing. 
So I really tried to kind of 

107
00:06:00,608 --> 00:06:04,800
hone in on the all the very 
important parts of my life and 

108
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,700
tell a funny. 
Yeah, really important story 

109
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,200
about where I am and how I got 
there. 

110
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:12,900
Yeah. 
The funnest part of on my 

111
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:15,400
podcast. 
Is that my daughter and my son 

112
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:16,700
often? 
Take part? 

113
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,000
Yes. 
That's what I also liked about 

114
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:24,000
it when I listened, I thought it
was a very interesting and 

115
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,300
creative way to describe 
different conversations that you

116
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:30,100
were having with your children. 
And then also the processing 

117
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:33,700
that you do, when you walk away 
because as a parent, I really 

118
00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:37,200
related to that because there 
are moments that my son will say

119
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:41,000
or do something and then I'll 
walk away and I'll think That 

120
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:45,700
was a teaching moment for me and
so hearing your podcast 

121
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:50,200
listening to how you described 
different moments or different 

122
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:55,000
situations with your children 
and how insightful and deep you 

123
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,500
are very you. 
Listen to the right podcast. 

124
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:03,000
There's Papa. 
Yes. 

125
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,300
And just again just walking away
thinking I'm glad I'm not the 

126
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:13,500
only parent that had The kind of
check myself or I had to kind of

127
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,400
shift my perspective on 
something because you're right 

128
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,400
where there is no perfect parent
even though there's no manual 

129
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,200
you don't get like a you read 
all these books about how to be 

130
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:26,200
a great parent but each kid 
needs different things and it's 

131
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,500
really hard to know what 
children need. 

132
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,800
And then also I think that 
they're here on Earth to teach 

133
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:35,700
us a lot about ourselves. 
So absolutely, I think that's a 

134
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:39,200
really cool perspective that 
your podcast brings to the 

135
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,700
podcast Airways. 
As yeah, definitely. 

136
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,200
That you share. 
Tell me a little bit about your 

137
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,200
book. 
Yes, papa bucks in the book is 

138
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,300
called nurse Papa 16. 
Meditations on Parenthood from, 

139
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:51,200
pediatric, oncology from a 
pediatric, oncology nurse. 

140
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,300
Yeah, the book is really about 
that crazy intersection of 

141
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:58,400
caring for sick and dying kids 
as a nurse and trying to raise 

142
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,500
my healthy ones. 
You know, at first, I was really

143
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:06,000
just trying to tell a story 
because as a pediatric nurse and

144
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,800
specifically a oncology nurse 
there is just so much human 

145
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,900
drama. 
It It's just wild, what? 

146
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,700
I encounter every day. 
It runs the gamut from Joy to 

147
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,500
Terror to pain to object 
sadness. 

148
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:21,900
And I just wanted people to see 
what people other people go 

149
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,800
through. 
And that was my first intention 

150
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:28,700
just to start writing these 
stories down, and it changed 

151
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:31,700
like any, like, really valid 
form of art. 

152
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,700
It evolved. 
And eventually I started to look

153
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:40,400
at nursing Through The Eyes of a
parent and what I could learn 

154
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:43,500
Learn from these parents who are
going through these, you know, 

155
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:47,300
horrible situations and from 
these kids, and it just came 

156
00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:51,100
down to these amazing lessons 
that I wanted to show to other 

157
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:54,500
people. 
Yeah, I love that. 

158
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:59,800
How do you pair it differently? 
Because you are a pediatric 

159
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,700
oncology nurse. 
That's a really interesting 

160
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,400
question. 
I might have to really think 

161
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:10,700
about that in a way that is 
really thoughtful but I am 

162
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:14,300
definitely for stuff. 
And I wouldn't say I'm hands off

163
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,900
but I let my kids do stuff. 
Like I've seen so many kids died

164
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:22,400
and so many kids in so much pain
and my daughter wants to do 

165
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,000
something that's slightly 
questionable. 

166
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,500
I'm like yeah, I did do it like 
live your life, like I'm not 

167
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:30,100
good. 
Don't let me tread on your on 

168
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,500
your happiness. 
That doesn't mean I'm going. 

169
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,300
Like let them do something 
stupid, but sure, I want them to

170
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:40,300
experience life. 
I want them to bump into things.

171
00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:42,100
I want them to hurt. 
I want them to love. 

172
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:45,400
I want them to laugh. 
I want them to learn and all the

173
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,600
elves and iteration Bears, very 
good. 

174
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,600
Yeah, learn love laughs. 
There's a cop. 

175
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,800
Because she's so many kids have 
such short lives and Ike have a 

176
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,100
shorter life. 
Who knows? 

177
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,300
What will happen after this 
interview? 

178
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:59,500
I might choke on a chicken bone.
And how do I know my daughter is

179
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,500
going to live? 
To be 80 years old? 

180
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,600
I don't think it's more Added to
think about these things because

181
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,900
I think that's how life works. 
I'm a fatalist, like I just, I 

182
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:13,900
want my kids to be happy. 
So I think having seen so many 

183
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,800
intense situations and seen so 
many short lives. 

184
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,500
Like I don't want my kids to 
waste one second and their lives

185
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:22,200
and I want them to know how 
precious it is. 

186
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:30,100
So that is Weighty as a mom or 
certain things. 

187
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,900
That once you have a kid, you 
just can't handle. 

188
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:36,200
And before I was a mom, I knew I
could not handle children in 

189
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:40,000
living in watching that stuff, 
but I saw it as an adult and it 

190
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:44,500
does change you even when you 
see adults dying of cancer, and 

191
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:49,000
you're seeing these things that 
you're like, I'm 22 years old. 

192
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,400
I had no idea. 
People were dealing with these 

193
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,500
things. 
That was a little bit sheltered 

194
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:57,300
from them. 
And then again, when you Realize

195
00:10:57,300 --> 00:11:00,100
that children don't make it 
until eight years old. 

196
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:04,000
You could die at two, when these
different things that you have 

197
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:10,000
to kind of Process and then 
begin to just act normal right 

198
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,000
with your kid and not be this 
panicked parent of like oh my 

199
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,300
gosh what is that? 
Could see it? 

200
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:18,000
Translating into very clearly 
and very easily into anxiety. 

201
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,400
Absolutely. 
Yeah. 

202
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:23,300
You have now turned it into a 
meditative practice. 

203
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,600
Bringing em almost. 
I almost kind of feeling I can 

204
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,400
correct me if I'm wrong. 
It almost feels like a 

205
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:33,100
therapeutic expression of what 
you've seen at your job and 

206
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:35,000
trying to share it with the 
world. 

207
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:39,900
In probably process it and mull 
it over and and deal with it 

208
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:44,100
yourself Crossing for sure. 
But it wasn't in some ways, it 

209
00:11:44,108 --> 00:11:46,500
wasn't an active process. 
I didn't make myself do 

210
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,600
anything. 
I just, I am who I am. 

211
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:55,400
So I guess I meant like as you 
write and as you create yeah. 

212
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,600
Does it help you kind of 
process? 

213
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:02,800
And I guess kind of I don't know
maybe meditatively or just kind 

214
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,800
of spiritually deal with the 
heaviness of the things that you

215
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,200
see. 
Or yeah. 

216
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,400
Is it not? 
I mean I feel like no abstract 

217
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,200
of absolutely. 
Yeah, it has to come out into 

218
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,100
it. 
So first and foremost I am an 

219
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,500
artist. 
Like no matter what I'm doing, 

220
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,900
I'm going to be making a 
painting, sculpting writing 

221
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:20,900
play. 
A music. 

222
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,000
I got to do it. 
It's just like in my bones. 

223
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,900
It's in my heart. 
I've no choice. 

224
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:29,100
So right now I'm a nurse. 
So my father and that's how 

225
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,100
that's where it comes out, you 
know? 

226
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:34,200
I'm right about nursing that 
right about being a father, it 

227
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,500
just like me just like 
interacting with the world. 

228
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,400
And for this book specifically, 
you know, I had to go to some 

229
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,900
very dark places. 
I had to go through some dark 

230
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:48,300
tunnels, to get out on the other
side and to be able to write 

231
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,500
something that was coherently. 
True. 

232
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,400
Yes, I was always talking cite. 
This book isn't just about me. 

233
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,700
I interviewed 30 or 40 people 
for it. 

234
00:12:56,700 --> 00:13:00,400
Nurses doctors, former patients,
parents, who lost their kids. 

235
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:04,500
It was intense process of like 
getting into people's hearts 

236
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,800
like in such a deep way and 
that's kind of why the book is 

237
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,600
so powerful because you don't 
care. 

238
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:13,500
Just my perspective, you here 
like so many perspectives and I 

239
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:17,300
grew in that process, it was it 
was just tremendous but I would 

240
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:21,400
always, as I was having people 
Read the book when it was in the

241
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,200
process of being written. 
My question would always be not,

242
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,100
is it good? 
But is it true? 

243
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:29,300
Like can you read this? 
And is it true? 

244
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,700
And that's all that was 
important. 

245
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,600
To me, that I was making 
something true. 

246
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:36,200
And here's the thing, Sandra the
truth hurts. 

247
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,700
Sometimes, if you're going to be
true yet, be okay with coming 

248
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,600
off like an and sometimes I'm 
gonna. 

249
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,100
Yeah. 
Can we swear on this? 

250
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:52,100
Typically we don't know but I 
feel like you're saying is, is 

251
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,600
It's really weighty it's just 
super weighty. 

252
00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:01,800
And I feel like if people 
especially nurses and in 

253
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:06,400
particular parents When they 
read your book and when they 

254
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:10,000
listen to your podcast, what are
you hoping that they walk away 

255
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:16,900
with when they read your work? 
So as an artist I think the 

256
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:19,700
biggest mistake you can make is 
to have a heavy-handed 

257
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,800
expectation for what you want 
somebody to experience that 

258
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:28,900
being said, I want somebody to 
listen to news Papa or readers, 

259
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:31,200
Papa and go. 
Hey that's me too. 

260
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:35,500
Because like, that's the best 
kind of form of art is when 

261
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,600
somebody can just look at and 
completely relate to it. 

262
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,700
That's when you laugh the 
hardest and that's when you cry.

263
00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:43,700
The most is when you feel like 
oh I was there or I'm going to 

264
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,700
be there and I feel like it's 
such a human experience to 

265
00:14:46,708 --> 00:14:50,100
relate to others and to make our
that others can see themselves 

266
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,600
in. 
Yeah. 

267
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,000
Because that's what I described,
right. 

268
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,700
Like when I was talking about 
your podcast, I walked away. 

269
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,200
I was like, yeah. 
Me too. 

270
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,900
Like yeah, I can relate to what 
he's writing here. 

271
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,100
One of the things That you 
described and I'll just share 

272
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:06,000
this David because I think it's 
something very important. 

273
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,900
But when I went part-time at my 
job, it was for the mindset that

274
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:14,100
you just sat and almost makes me
feel crazy to say it because 

275
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:17,000
it's one of those things that 
you don't want to talk about but

276
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:22,700
I did look at my life and think 
if I died tomorrow and again I 

277
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,400
think when you've been on 
oncology nurse you see it a 

278
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,600
little more closely, right? 
Like you really do it hit you in

279
00:15:28,608 --> 00:15:31,300
the face a little bit more than 
other areas. 

280
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:35,100
Of nursing care. 
But I just remember thinking and

281
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,600
because I had that background, I
do tend to go back to that spot 

282
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,500
and just kind of assess my life.
And like, you don't know, you 

283
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:44,000
could choke on a chicken bone. 
Like you said today, unless 

284
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,500
you're a vegetarian for yes, 
yes, let's shoot area and then 

285
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:49,800
if you are vegetarian each other
and check him out, he's gonna 

286
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,500
know you're not. 
So you start to do that. 

287
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:58,800
You don't want to get out it 
right when you die, he eats and 

288
00:15:58,808 --> 00:16:01,100
I'm sure you saw that. 
But anyway, the point being 

289
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:07,400
that, That I I did assess my 
career decision, based on what I

290
00:16:07,408 --> 00:16:11,900
had seen as a nurse and just 
said, what if that is? 

291
00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:14,900
What I you don't know. 
You don't know when you're going

292
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:17,100
to die, you don't know how this 
all ends. 

293
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,500
What do you want the time that 
you're living to look like and 

294
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,900
you I didn't want it to. 
I knew it did not want my time 

295
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:29,200
to be poured into my job. 
And so I know that it's kind of 

296
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,500
hard to do the job of an 
oncology nurse. 

297
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:36,200
But it does you a big favor in 
the fact that you have to be 

298
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:42,300
faced with a life-or-death so 
much that you begin to really 

299
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:45,400
look at it in yourself, it's a 
gift that it gives yourself, 

300
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,000
right? 
Yeah, absolutely. 

301
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,700
Yeah, that's how I felt. 
Yeah, it's total gift. 

302
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:53,000
I love taking care of people and
one of my favorite things to do.

303
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,000
And this might sound weird is 
and of Life Care. 

304
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,500
I think it's a beautiful thing 
to do. 

305
00:16:56,500 --> 00:17:00,500
I, I love being that nurse who 
can take care of a child, who is

306
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:04,800
dying because your Such a 
surface to them if you can make 

307
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,200
a dying child as pain-free and 
happy as possible, when they're 

308
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,599
dying, and to give their family 
as much comfort. 

309
00:17:11,099 --> 00:17:15,500
Like, I don't know, like, when I
do, I'd rather do that than be 

310
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:18,000
Bill Gates, or Elon Musk. 
I don't need any money, like 

311
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,300
that's just to be at service is 
like the best payment that you 

312
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:26,500
can ever ask for anything. 
But I always think and this is 

313
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:30,200
something that took me a long 
time to realize is that there is

314
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,800
so much pain in the world. 
There are Wars going on. 

315
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:37,500
There's famine there is just 
like is endless but just because

316
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:40,100
you don't know about it doesn't 
mean it doesn't exist. 

317
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,600
So I want to be there. 
I want to be at that bedside and

318
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:47,100
I want to experience it because 
it is the mark of living a full 

319
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:51,000
life of just being available to 
what is there because you can 

320
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,100
like live in a box for like man 
you're going to die in that box 

321
00:17:54,100 --> 00:18:00,300
to it's just not worth it. 
Sorry. 

322
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:06,800
You're supposed to make me cry. 
No, no. 

323
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:14,700
He's not supposed to be about 
that but I think what you just 

324
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:19,300
shared is really beautiful. 
So let's take it from the second

325
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:22,800
question which is take me 
through when you decided to 

326
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,800
become a nurse and kind of your 
program that you went through 

327
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,600
that, you told me about and then
kind of how you And all these 

328
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:35,600
other side hustles inside things
and adjuncts to your current 

329
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,800
nursing role. 
Yeah, well, I'll tell you how I 

330
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,900
became a nurse and it was like 
the least sexy story. 

331
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,300
It is so dumb. 
So my mom is a nurse, my dad is 

332
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:47,600
a doctor, but I can't say that 
they actually inspired me to go 

333
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:51,000
into medicine. 
I was a sculptor and a painter 

334
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,700
for a long time, and I think I 
was coming back from a job that 

335
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,800
was in Florida, in Hollywood, 
Florida. 

336
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,000
I don't know how close that is 
to Gainesville. 

337
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:02,000
Yeah, but I was just like oh man
I am over this. 

338
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,900
I need to do something else and 
I sat down and turned on the TV 

339
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:09,500
and er came on that like 
Hospital show and like oh why 

340
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:10,500
not? 
I be a nurse. 

341
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:16,800
It's like so stupid and I looked
into it and it seemed to be a 

342
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,600
job that made sense. 
I applied to school. 

343
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,000
Did this funny thing where it's 
really hard to get into my 

344
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:25,300
program so I actually printed 
out and acceptance letter and 

345
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,800
even photo shops like UCSF 
Insignia on it. 

346
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,700
And I sent out to all my friends
and said, print this out and 

347
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:37,200
send it to me and like 30 of my 
friends sent me like acceptance 

348
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,900
letter and then like a week 
later I got accepted and it was 

349
00:19:39,908 --> 00:19:42,400
like, almost the exact same 
letter like he was so like 

350
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:44,200
weird. 
Anyway. 

351
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,400
So how I became a nurse? 
I don't think it's that 

352
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,100
interesting of a story but how I
became the Pediatric nurse I 

353
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,900
think is really interesting. 
So my program. 

354
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:56,300
Unfortunately they make you pick
what kind of nurse you want to 

355
00:19:56,308 --> 00:19:59,600
be before you go to school, 
which is like, Telling a 

356
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,800
two-year-old child. 
Like tell me what you want to 

357
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,300
major in in college before you 
go to kindergarten at least just

358
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,400
ridiculous. 
Like, it's like to make their 

359
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,100
life easier and not make you the
person you should be. 

360
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,300
So, I picked adult adult acute 
care. 

361
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,200
That meets seem to make sense. 
I didn't know anything about 

362
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:18,400
kids, so I start my program. 
We have to do all the different 

363
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,700
demographics of nursing. 
So, the first day that I work in

364
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:24,500
Pediatrics, I'm like standing in
the hall, with my finger up my 

365
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,900
nose, and this nurse Taps me on 
the shoulder. 

366
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,100
She's like, I need you to come 
help me. 

367
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,900
She brings me This room, and 
there's this little girl. 

368
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:35,400
She's like two years old and all
alone standing in her crib, and 

369
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:39,800
like this in a diaper, and she's
covered with all these horrible 

370
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,800
sores. 
So she had Steven Johnson's 

371
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,100
disorder, which is a autoimmune 
disease. 

372
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:46,800
That's a fairly common. 
When I saw her. 

373
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,300
I almost fainted I was like, 
what is going on with this, with

374
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:52,100
this child? 
And then the nurse told me that 

375
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,500
she was probably gonna be okay. 
And she's like, can you stay 

376
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:58,600
with her and just calm her down 
because she was screaming and 

377
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,100
there's no Parent there and I 
didn't know what to do. 

378
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,600
Like, how do you do that? 
So, I just picked her up and I 

379
00:21:05,608 --> 00:21:10,000
started singing her a song that 
I've been working on and she 

380
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,700
grabbed my thumb, and she 
brought it to her face, and she 

381
00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:15,700
stopped crying. 
And we just sat, we just stay 

382
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:17,300
there. 
Swaying back and forth. 

383
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:19,300
And when I stopped singing, she 
started crying again. 

384
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:23,100
So I just kept it up. 
And that night, I was laying in 

385
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:26,300
my bed and I don't know how many
times this has happened to you, 

386
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:29,700
but I had such a clarifying 
experience. 

387
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:33,700
I was staring at the ceiling as 
I often do a nighttime and I was

388
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:36,300
I said to myself, I need to be a
pediatric nurse. 

389
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:39,300
Like there's no way. 
I cannot work with kids. 

390
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:42,600
It just felt so right. 
And there's only God. 

391
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,400
That doesn't happen very often 
when the when the universe tells

392
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,700
you something you kind of listen
to it because if you don't, 

393
00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:52,100
you're gonna be living a lie. 
So, I literally the next day, I 

394
00:21:52,108 --> 00:21:54,600
went to my advisor and told her 
I'm dropping out the program 

395
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,600
either you switched me to 
Pediatrics or I'm dropping out 

396
00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:01,300
and she said, we can make it 
work. 

397
00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:03,400
And, of course, two weeks later,
they took it back. 

398
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:06,900
So I dropped out. 
I got my nursing certificate, 

399
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,600
which I don't actually know what
that actually means, but I've 

400
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,900
been working as a pediatric 
nurse for 15 years. 

401
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:23,300
No, I'm definitely license. 
Kicked ass on it, 75 questions. 

402
00:22:28,100 --> 00:22:31,200
I'm gonna get like a like, what 
here they come. 

403
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:36,500
They come from. 
No, I'm all good. 

404
00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:40,200
That is an incredible story. 
Yeah. 

405
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:44,700
So from there and I know you 
describe this earlier that your 

406
00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:48,300
Creator and you're a sculptor 
and you're an artist at heart 

407
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:52,800
and so as you were working in 
this field, when did you start 

408
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,200
to? 
When did you decide like okay 

409
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,600
I'm going to start podcasting 
own and do And I'm going to 

410
00:22:56,608 --> 00:23:00,500
write a book about what I've 
seen when do not attempt to 

411
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:03,700
fruition for you and your yeah, 
I didn't start writing the book 

412
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,400
until it made sense until I had 
something to write about like 

413
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,400
and what really happened was I 
was a parent. 

414
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:14,300
I came into pediatric oncology 
barely being able to spell 

415
00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:16,300
oncology. 
I can spell it really well now, 

416
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,600
but I wasn't a parent. 
I don't think I understood what 

417
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:22,000
it meant to be a parent until I 
was one. 

418
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,500
And when I became a dad and then
a dad of two like Just the 

419
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,000
context of how I relate to these
kids and these parents, 

420
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,000
especially it just turned it 
over on its head. 

421
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,900
Like, I went from sympathy to 
empathy and I don't know if that

422
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:38,600
makes sense. 
You necessarily, but I went from

423
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,900
being sorry for them for 
understand to understanding how 

424
00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:45,500
they must feel and that changed 
my world. 

425
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:49,000
And then when that happened, I 
was able to start writing about 

426
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,500
it. 
I was able to understand what am

427
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:54,400
I feel like to hear that your 
kids going to die or that you're

428
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,700
going to have oncology treatment
for Years and you don't know 

429
00:23:56,700 --> 00:24:00,300
what's going to happen because I
innately understand what it is 

430
00:24:00,300 --> 00:24:03,300
to feel uncertain about what's 
going on with your child because

431
00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:06,000
throw you for a loop constantly,
it's just what they do is their 

432
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:10,100
job and they do it so well. 
So like once I had something to 

433
00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:12,500
write about, I started writing, 
I wasn't waiting patiently for 

434
00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:17,600
it to happen. 
It's true. 

435
00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:22,100
Kids take you for a loop and 
I'll share my kid has been on 

436
00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:24,400
antibiotics. 
He had a little thing that's 

437
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,200
going around. 
Everybody has it hmm. 

438
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:28,900
And he started on antibiotics. 
He's never been on antibiotics 

439
00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:33,100
before and he started on them 
for the very first time and I 

440
00:24:33,100 --> 00:24:36,100
was nervous about it because I 
was like his gut microbiome and 

441
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:39,400
all that jazz, I started him on 
them antibiotics and last night,

442
00:24:39,700 --> 00:24:42,600
I'm day that crazy story that 
morning. 

443
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,600
I said I know they say You're 
supposed to It for 10 days but I

444
00:24:46,608 --> 00:24:48,300
don't know why. 
I feel like we need to stop it 

445
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:49,600
today. 
Don't know why. 

446
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,600
I said, that's my husband's. 
Like, I mean, you're there's 

447
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,500
practitioner like, if you think 
we should stop, we just talked 

448
00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:55,900
about I'm like, well, no 
technically you should finish 

449
00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:57,600
it. 
You don't stop antibiotics in 

450
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,200
the middle of a treatment, but 
civil weird feeling. 

451
00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:01,800
He's like, what do you want to 
do? 

452
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,700
I'm like, well, I'm going to 
just go with my science 

453
00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:07,500
knowledge, which is just 
finished the drug that night, I 

454
00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:11,300
gave him another dose, his 
entire arm just broke out. 

455
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:15,300
And this itchy itchy, itchy 
rash, and I know this is totally

456
00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:17,500
not Non podcast related. 
I might even take this out, but 

457
00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:20,300
between you and me. 
It is just this moment of like 

458
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:23,000
what you're describing, like 
following your intuition. 

459
00:25:23,300 --> 00:25:24,100
Yeah. 
Yeah. 

460
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:26,700
Following my own intuition, for 
one, my husband was like you 

461
00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,600
said it. 
That's so weird. 

462
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:32,500
And then too, he was like the 
other part of like, no. 

463
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:35,700
I know I was going, this, the 
out-of-control car just 

464
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:38,700
realizing that. 
Like, I have no control over 

465
00:25:38,700 --> 00:25:42,000
what happens to this human. 
My heart walks outside of my 

466
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,500
body, and that you don't 
understand until you become a 

467
00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:45,900
parent, right? 
Yeah. 

468
00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:48,900
Well, forever walk outside of my
body and I am absolutely not in 

469
00:25:48,900 --> 00:25:52,900
control of what's going on here.
Yeah, to manage. 

470
00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:55,900
I mean is it's a roller coaster?
I know that's kind of trite 

471
00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:59,000
expression, and but I've episode
my of Benders Papa podcast 

472
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,400
coming out and tomorrow 
actually, and in a way I 

473
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,100
describe this kind of roller 
coaster of being a parent. 

474
00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:08,300
I just like that stomach, 
twisting dropping feeling of 

475
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:13,000
being out of control. 
And liking it because it's just 

476
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:17,100
like it's such a such a game. 
It's like the most serious game 

477
00:26:17,100 --> 00:26:18,700
you'll ever play, but it's so 
fun. 

478
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:21,700
And you can I can I encounter 
so? 

479
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:24,300
I can't parents all the time, 
thousands of parents and I see 

480
00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:28,100
all these different ways that 
they parents and that's why it's

481
00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:33,500
been so amazing for me to not 
study it but like be aware of 

482
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:35,900
it, be a keen Observer of these 
different techniques of 

483
00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:40,700
Parenthood and for me, the best 
way to parent is to just enjoy 

484
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,200
it. 
And go for the ride and you keep

485
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,600
those kids safe, but you just 
got to be uncomfortable. 

486
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,100
You gotta be afraid, you got to 
be sad. 

487
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,700
You got to be mad but you just 
got to be happy at the same 

488
00:26:51,700 --> 00:26:54,300
time. 
Like there's a even even when 

489
00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:57,500
I'm screaming at my kids, which 
I try not to do, I'm still 

490
00:26:57,500 --> 00:27:00,100
happy. 
I'm like, it's so funny because 

491
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,300
I'm trying to get the kids out 
of the house couple days ago. 

492
00:27:02,700 --> 00:27:05,500
And they were just like not, we 
were going to be late. 

493
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:06,900
We have to drive 10 minutes to 
school. 

494
00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:10,400
It was just gonna be such a 
mess, parking everything and I 

495
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:14,000
just raised my voice. 
As I said, kind of car and 

496
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,400
immediately the guy in the car 
and my wife was like why are you

497
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,100
upset so upset? 
I'm like, I'm not upset at all. 

498
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:22,200
I just know that they need to 
think I'm upset because they 

499
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:27,300
need to get in the damn car. 
Like I just I just want them to 

500
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,400
be a little afraid In This 
Moment. 

501
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,100
I always do to Benjamin is what 
I do. 

502
00:27:37,100 --> 00:27:40,100
So I say something very sternly.
Like if you don't get in there 

503
00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:43,000
right now and then he's like, 
okay, Mama and then I'm like, I 

504
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,400
love you too. 
And I'm like because I just 

505
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,200
wanted to know like even though 
I'm being stern right now and 

506
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,700
I'm trying to put a little fire 
under your pants. 

507
00:27:50,900 --> 00:27:54,200
They don't forget that like I 
love you or the big one is when 

508
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,700
he puts his head down, like you 
put his head down. 

509
00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:58,400
I immediately stop whatever 
we're doing. 

510
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,700
Hey guys, thanks for listening 
to the podcast. 

511
00:28:00,700 --> 00:28:02,700
I hope you're enjoying the 
conversation. 

512
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:06,100
Want to take a second to remind 
you guys to join the doctor 

513
00:28:06,100 --> 00:28:10,800
nurse podcast, email list. 
Weakly I send out emails about 

514
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:15,200
podcast episodes blogs and 
creating with information about 

515
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:19,000
nursing motherhood Finance 
health and wellness. 

516
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,400
How to build side hustles. 
It's all there. 

517
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,700
I want to provide nurses with 
information that I'm gleaning. 

518
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,300
As I grow my business and my 
podcast. 

519
00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:31,900
And now, I have to tell you guys
about today's sponsor, the 

520
00:28:31,900 --> 00:28:34,800
doctor nurse podcast is, 
Sponsored by the network nurse. 

521
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,100
You guys know that. 
I love Savannah Arroyo and her 

522
00:28:38,100 --> 00:28:40,000
whole team at the net worth 
nurse. 

523
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,600
I've actually had her on my 
podcast so check out her episode

524
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,600
if you're wanting to know more 
about her and what she does, her

525
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:50,400
net worth nurse team is on a 
mission to empower nurses to 

526
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,700
take control of their net worth.
The net worth nurse is an 

527
00:28:53,708 --> 00:28:56,700
educational site were nurses 
come together to learn about 

528
00:28:56,700 --> 00:29:00,200
wealth building, strategies. 
Their website has blogs 

529
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,100
instructional downloads video 
courses. 

530
00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:06,800
On real estate and investing 
personalized coaching and an 

531
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,700
interactive and growing 
community of like-minded 

532
00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:13,000
individuals. 
The network nurse has everything

533
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,900
you need to grow wealth. 
Be sure to check them out in the

534
00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:19,300
links in my show notes. 
And let's get back to the 

535
00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:22,600
conversation where I'm like, 
wait, wait, wait, did you did 

536
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:27,400
you put your head down head up? 
Yes, like okay, Mama and I'm 

537
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:31,600
like not scolding you to put you
down or some make you feel shame

538
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,600
or I don't know what emotions. 
This is he trying to raise you 

539
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,100
up a capture. 
I want to capture that moment 

540
00:29:37,100 --> 00:29:41,200
and make sure that that is not 
getting reinforced and so it's 

541
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,600
just you have to be super 
intentional. 

542
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,800
Super awake, super present and 
present is the key. 

543
00:29:49,100 --> 00:29:52,100
Yeah it's you can do absolutely,
it's funny and I'll send you a 

544
00:29:52,100 --> 00:29:55,000
video of this video of playing a
song about ukulele. 

545
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,700
And there's actually a chicken 
on my on the end of my ukulele, 

546
00:29:57,700 --> 00:30:00,700
whatever little chickens and one
of the lines in the song is you 

547
00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:04,300
don't know how much I love you 
and Son was listening on the 

548
00:30:04,300 --> 00:30:06,600
side. 
He's like, yes, we do and that 

549
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,600
is just killed me because like 
it's so important. 

550
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:14,000
Like, if your kids know that you
love them, you're like 99% 

551
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,600
there. 
Like you've done your job. 

552
00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:19,800
You can you can go bad at that 
point? 

553
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,400
Yeah. 
Well sad. 

554
00:30:23,500 --> 00:30:25,400
Oh my gosh, David. 
I'm gonna have to, like, edit 

555
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,500
this out for my crying 
constantly. 

556
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:29,600
Think about this podcast 
episode. 

557
00:30:30,300 --> 00:30:35,200
So that is your journey to where
you are now, can you tell me 

558
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,800
about maybe one of the times 
throughout your journey because 

559
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:42,200
you didn't wake up one day and 
have a podcast in a book and 

560
00:30:42,300 --> 00:30:45,300
have a great career in 
pediatric, oncology that you 

561
00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:47,400
love there's been a journey to 
this spot, right? 

562
00:30:47,900 --> 00:30:51,900
Yang and creating these little 
size streams and little things 

563
00:30:51,900 --> 00:30:54,800
that you've been able to express
yourself through. 

564
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,400
Can you share with our 
listeners, may be a challenge 

565
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,900
that you had to overcome 
throughout your career? 

566
00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:02,000
And then maybe a real big 
success. 

567
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,300
Hi. 
I'm moment that you were like or

568
00:31:04,300 --> 00:31:08,000
maybe one that's coming up that 
you're like this is this is it. 

569
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,000
I'm super excited about this 
this thing that we've got going 

570
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:15,300
on in regards to your career. 
I mean I've got challenges like 

571
00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:19,500
everybody else. 
I definitely Some nurse pulling 

572
00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:22,500
when I was in new nurse. 
I like it was crazy. 

573
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,600
I I thought after six months of 
nursing that I was actually 

574
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,800
going to fail at something for 
the first time, which was 

575
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,100
terrifying to me. 
Because I'm, it's not like I've 

576
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:35,300
excelled at everything in my 
life, but I've never failed. 

577
00:31:35,300 --> 00:31:38,700
And I've never given up, and I 
thought I'm gonna fail because I

578
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:42,800
was getting my butt kicked by 
these just poison poison people.

579
00:31:43,500 --> 00:31:49,200
And what saved me was like other
Colleagues, he became my mentor 

580
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,400
who stood up for me and really 
kind of like, raised me up and 

581
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:56,400
said breaking me down. 
So yeah, that was a huge, huge 

582
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,400
Challenge. 
And I think, actually, our floor

583
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,200
was pretty decent. 
It was just a couple poisoned 

584
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:06,600
attitudes, but I think typically
like, there's some, that's it's 

585
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,300
a real problem in the nursing 
world. 

586
00:32:08,300 --> 00:32:10,500
I mean, I've only worked one 
place in my entire nursing 

587
00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:14,000
career, so, I don't have that 
much perspective. 

588
00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:17,200
But yeah, I've had something 
challenge for you. 

589
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,400
What Yeah. 
So what about any success and 

590
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,500
any milk any moment in your 
career that you're like these 

591
00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:25,900
this is a hi, this is it. 
I'm excited about every day. 

592
00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:33,900
Every day that I go to work and 
I make a kid smile, or I make a 

593
00:32:33,900 --> 00:32:37,300
good intervention, a child and a
therapy. 

594
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:38,900
That is dangerous because 
things. 

595
00:32:38,900 --> 00:32:41,900
Sneak through, I'm like, oh, 
let's not do this because you 

596
00:32:41,900 --> 00:32:45,300
missed this like, what's crazy? 
Is that I've been doing this for

597
00:32:45,300 --> 00:32:47,400
15 years? 
I don't know everything. 

598
00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:50,200
There's many things, I don't 
know, but I know a hell of a lot

599
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:53,700
more than a first-year resident.
So, like, there's just like, the

600
00:32:53,700 --> 00:32:57,400
nurse being the last barrier to 
harm coming to their patient. 

601
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:01,300
There's so much opportunity to 
like Politely educate. 

602
00:33:01,300 --> 00:33:06,700
Somebody who makes a bad call. 
So, there are many, many things.

603
00:33:06,700 --> 00:33:10,100
I'm proud of, but just being a 
good person. 

604
00:33:10,100 --> 00:33:13,900
Having the opportunity to be a 
good person every day first. 

605
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:15,900
Let's my pleasure. 
Like, I'm like, oh, dude, thanks

606
00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:20,600
for paying me to do this. 
And also letting me letting me 

607
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,500
feel these feelings like these 
deep deep feelings of gratitude.

608
00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:26,400
Every day, I go to work. 
We're just being with these 

609
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:29,000
kids. 
And these parents like that's 

610
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,800
just The joy of it, like I don't
need anything else and we're 

611
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,700
talking about dying tomorrow, 
like, whatever happens. 

612
00:33:34,700 --> 00:33:37,100
Like, if I die tomorrow, I'm 
good. 

613
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,500
Like I've been so blessed in my 
life. 

614
00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:41,100
I've gone everything I've 
wanted. 

615
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:44,300
I've worked hard and I've 
achieved a level of 

616
00:33:44,300 --> 00:33:46,900
satisfaction. 
I could die tomorrow. 

617
00:33:47,100 --> 00:33:50,900
I just want my kids to be okay. 
Like that's that's all there is 

618
00:33:50,900 --> 00:33:53,700
to it and ultimately if I died 
my kids wouldn't be okay. 

619
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,600
So not to stick around for a 
while. 

620
00:33:56,700 --> 00:33:59,900
This particular 18. 
Yep. 

621
00:33:59,900 --> 00:34:04,000
Yeah, I hear you on that. 
And so you describe mentors and 

622
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,900
that's one of the things that I 
found in nursing that is 

623
00:34:06,900 --> 00:34:10,199
lacking. 
And I am not had great 

624
00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:14,100
opportunities for mentorship and
in even convicting lie. 

625
00:34:14,100 --> 00:34:16,900
So, have I been the best Mentor?
I mean that's kind of one of the

626
00:34:16,900 --> 00:34:21,199
things I've been asking myself. 
So but could you describe maybe 

627
00:34:21,199 --> 00:34:23,699
people that have come along side
that you want to come alongside 

628
00:34:23,699 --> 00:34:25,800
you that you want to shout out 
that you're like this person had

629
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,699
my back, And it changed, it 
changed the game because they 

630
00:34:28,699 --> 00:34:31,000
came alongside and they said 
you're not going to walk alone. 

631
00:34:31,100 --> 00:34:34,900
I'm a walk with me that happens 
all the time and I think it's 

632
00:34:34,900 --> 00:34:37,600
much more more than that. 
Like, yeah, of course, I had 

633
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:41,800
people who were explicitly on my
back, who said he's a good guy. 

634
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:45,600
Like, let's just give him some 
time, but I am a big fan of 

635
00:34:45,699 --> 00:34:51,000
implicit education and mentoring
like seeing what people do and 

636
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,600
seeing what works and then doing
it. 

637
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,400
So I'll tell you two stories 
that we have time for this. 

638
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:55,800
Yeah. 
Okay. 

639
00:34:56,100 --> 00:35:00,000
The first Is Nurse mentor and I 
remember, I was a younger so I 

640
00:35:00,008 --> 00:35:04,000
didn't know anything and I was 
taking care of dying teenage boy

641
00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:08,400
and I was with another nurse at 
the boys, bedside and the boys 

642
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:12,300
dad was standing over him and 
the boy was actively dying and 

643
00:35:12,300 --> 00:35:14,900
the dead were just. 
So there in that moment you just

644
00:35:14,900 --> 00:35:20,300
you just want to take care of 
his son and the nurse said this 

645
00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:23,900
a most amazing thing to him. 
She said, have you told them 

646
00:35:23,900 --> 00:35:24,900
that? 
It's okay to go. 

647
00:35:25,700 --> 00:35:28,700
And in that moment, I was like 
what are you saying this dad you

648
00:35:28,700 --> 00:35:32,100
can't tell him that it's okay if
his son dies but he was the most

649
00:35:32,100 --> 00:35:35,500
beautiful thing you could ever 
say to somebody because kids 

650
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:38,000
need their their parents 
permission. 

651
00:35:38,300 --> 00:35:40,000
That's all they want. 
They want to make their share, 

652
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,400
their parents are okay and that,
they'll be okay when they're 

653
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,900
gone and it was like this nurse 
who she was. 

654
00:35:45,900 --> 00:35:48,200
She'd been the trenches. 
She knew what she was doing? 

655
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,800
She was an expert at what she 
did. 

656
00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:56,800
And not only has as her nursing 
side, but Her ability to be a 

657
00:35:56,808 --> 00:36:01,100
human and I was like seeing 
things like that and being able 

658
00:36:01,100 --> 00:36:05,500
to like take them in and really 
know what a person needs. 

659
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,400
That's that's what mentorship is
because that's one story. 

660
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:15,400
You ready for? 
Number two, you're coming for 

661
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,000
number one. 
Number two is gonna kill you. 

662
00:36:17,700 --> 00:36:24,700
So, It's not just nurses for 
mentors, it's patients and their

663
00:36:24,700 --> 00:36:28,200
parents. 
This I was taking care of this 

664
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:33,000
other boy and this is when I've 
been a nurse for 12 years at the

665
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,100
point, I knew what I was doing 
and he had a disease called 

666
00:36:36,100 --> 00:36:40,300
dipg, it's a brain tumor that 
it's one of those brain tumors 

667
00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:43,600
were you will definitely die. 
It's just going to happen. 

668
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,500
Like we're all going to die but 
this kid's gonna die within two 

669
00:36:46,500 --> 00:36:50,900
years and it's going to be a 
steady neurological progression 

670
00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:54,700
where When I first knew him he 
had trouble moving around but 

671
00:36:54,700 --> 00:36:57,800
you could talk could breathe on 
his own and then I walked into 

672
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,200
his room, one day and I hadn't 
seen him for like, six months. 

673
00:37:00,700 --> 00:37:03,800
And he was just his disease had 
progressed so much. 

674
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,200
She was almost blind. 
He could. 

675
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,400
He could barely hear the point 
where his parents were. 

676
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,200
I was screaming his ear which 
was like such a scene. 

677
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,200
Parents screaming is here just 
so he could hear them. 

678
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,100
Say I love you or do you want me
to do you want this? 

679
00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:19,400
He could, he was having lots of 
respiratory problems. 

680
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,100
That he could barely breathe his
secretions worse. 

681
00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:25,200
So crazy, you just stand there. 
Looking at the setting at sat 

682
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,900
monitor waiting for it to go 
back up. 

683
00:37:27,900 --> 00:37:31,300
Anyway, I'm standing there at 
the stores bedside and his mom's

684
00:37:31,300 --> 00:37:36,100
holding his hand and she's 
telling me about all the things 

685
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:39,300
he did and was when he was 
healthy like he was an eagle 

686
00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:41,100
scout. 
He was so good at mathematics, 

687
00:37:41,100 --> 00:37:44,000
he was really into cars. 
He always like he's like I want 

688
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:48,800
to Tesla that's what I want when
I grow up and just blowing his 

689
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,400
stuff up about, what a great kid
he was then I'll never forget 

690
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,300
she grabbed his hand and she 
looked me right in the eyes and 

691
00:37:55,300 --> 00:38:05,700
she said, I'm so proud of who my
son became. and that just like 

692
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,700
in that moment, it just like I 
almost fell to the floor because

693
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,500
Like what is a better example of
what it means to be a parent, 

694
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:20,100
you don't get your kids, do what
you want, you get to where you 

695
00:38:20,100 --> 00:38:24,300
want, where you kids want to be 
and you'd be that mentor and 

696
00:38:24,300 --> 00:38:28,100
you'd be proud of them for what 
they are not for what they could

697
00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:32,200
be not for what they were. 
And that just killed me. 

698
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:37,000
It just killed me and that's 
most important thing I've ever 

699
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,400
learned nursing. 
And I learned it from a parent 

700
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,800
who wasn't trying to teach me 
anything. 

701
00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:47,200
She was just trying to be there 
for her son and he died. 

702
00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:50,800
He died a while back and his 
parents came back to the 

703
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:54,300
hospital and they want to say hi
to me and I wasn't there. 

704
00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:57,500
But somebody told me that they 
like bought a Tesla so they 

705
00:38:57,500 --> 00:39:00,300
could just so they can have a 
Tesla because there's someone So

706
00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:03,200
badly, like in the hospital. 
His birthday for all days. 

707
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,700
Anyway, mentorship. 
You never know where those 

708
00:39:06,700 --> 00:39:08,600
lessons are going to come from, 
but they're going to come. 

709
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:13,000
He's gotta be open to it. 
Then you write a book about. 

710
00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:21,900
Oh my gosh, save it. 
Woo. 

711
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:32,100
Mmm. 
These stores are hard to hear 

712
00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:37,500
and I'm seeing this. 
But like, yeah, they're not. 

713
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:40,900
Yeah, bad to hear, right? 
Like these are no stories to 

714
00:39:40,900 --> 00:39:43,800
hear. 
And okay to cry crying. 

715
00:39:44,100 --> 00:39:44,900
No. 
Yes. 

716
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:48,000
You ever get that cry? 
Where you're like, naughty and 

717
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:54,900
it's just like, I love that. 
I love. 

718
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,600
I love when I'm like crying 
because I'm like, oh, I'm fully 

719
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:02,200
Alive in this moment because I 
am Sad about something like it's

720
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,500
better than sitting there 
watching Netflix and just like, 

721
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,000
um, watching new girl for like 
the 10th time. 

722
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:10,000
I've seen this episode so many 
mine now, they I mean, it's 

723
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,400
true. 
What you're describing is like 

724
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,600
mind-numbing Netflix instead of 
being awake and alive and 

725
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:17,500
experiencing and feeling things.
Like it's a very different 

726
00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:21,200
experience. 
I think what I'm just feeling 

727
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:26,100
and what I'm I'm want to convey 
to my listeners is why it's so 

728
00:40:26,100 --> 00:40:32,300
important to live every day. 
When you're at work to enjoy the

729
00:40:32,300 --> 00:40:37,200
journey of Our Lives. 
Because if you get so caught up 

730
00:40:37,300 --> 00:40:42,100
in work and you have this 
life-altering jolt and it can be

731
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:46,300
a child's illness, it can be 
your own illness, all so many 

732
00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:51,400
stories in my podcasts are from 
people that have experienced 

733
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,300
something terrible happening to 
them. 

734
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:58,000
That makes them wake up and say,
what am I doing with my life? 

735
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,700
And As you describe these 
stories of children, that 

736
00:41:01,700 --> 00:41:06,100
unfortunately are aren't given 
the time frame to even become a 

737
00:41:06,107 --> 00:41:09,600
nurse right to even become. 
Now know what they want. 

738
00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:11,900
They'll know what they can be, 
they don't they don't get the 

739
00:41:11,900 --> 00:41:15,200
time right there. 
They didn't get that the shot to

740
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,500
do these things. 
You owe it to yourself and you 

741
00:41:18,500 --> 00:41:23,300
always have everyone around you 
to do exactly what brings you 

742
00:41:23,300 --> 00:41:26,600
Joy and life and makes you feel 
alive. 

743
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:31,100
And if that is being A mom and 
staying home. 

744
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,700
Do it, if that is working 
part-time and staying home and 

745
00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:37,400
maybe you get slack from people 
at work about how you're not 

746
00:41:37,500 --> 00:41:42,500
full-time anymore, do it, like 
do that thing because what 

747
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:47,900
you're describing in, both of 
those stories is feeling life 

748
00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:54,200
and enjoying every moment and 
realizing that you don't know 

749
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:59,300
how long and it's about people. 
It's all about the people around

750
00:41:59,300 --> 00:42:01,200
you. 
The connections and the 

751
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,700
relationships that you have, 
that's the stuff that matters. 

752
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:05,900
Everything else doesn't matter. 
The money doesn't matter. 

753
00:42:05,900 --> 00:42:08,600
The house doesn't matter the 
clothes, all this stuff that we 

754
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:13,800
change their cousins, it's true.
Like it does matter in the sense

755
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:16,600
that we all need to clothe and 
house ourselves. 

756
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:19,700
And like, sometimes you just 
gotta feed the machine, right? 

757
00:42:19,700 --> 00:42:23,700
You gotta, you gotta go work. 
We don't want to, you got to do 

758
00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:24,700
this. 
We don't want to. 

759
00:42:24,700 --> 00:42:27,800
I do that when you don't want 
to, but if you can do it with 

760
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,700
joy, that's better. 
Her. 

761
00:42:29,900 --> 00:42:32,700
It's so much better because 
you'll bring something to it, 

762
00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:34,200
that would otherwise not be 
there. 

763
00:42:34,500 --> 00:42:38,100
Like, I would much rather be at 
work laughing between different 

764
00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:41,300
rooms, which I am. 
Like, I just like I love just 

765
00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:43,000
like that space between 
different rooms because you 

766
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,100
don't ever know what you're 
going to get when you enter a 

767
00:42:45,107 --> 00:42:47,700
new hospital. 
But if you do it with joy and 

768
00:42:47,700 --> 00:42:50,800
you do with purpose, you're 
going to just enjoy it so much 

769
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,500
more like sometimes you do have 
to fake it until you make it. 

770
00:42:55,400 --> 00:43:00,500
Yeah, I don't have to take it. 
You ought to enjoy it, David 

771
00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:03,000
could you? 
Give some advice for a new nurse

772
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,500
at starting off in her career 
that you would want her to keep 

773
00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:09,300
close to her heart and a piece 
of advice that you would tell 

774
00:43:09,300 --> 00:43:11,100
her. 
If you hear this, don't listen 

775
00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:18,100
to it because it's garbage. 
Okay, one thing I would tell any

776
00:43:18,100 --> 00:43:24,700
new nurse is that rarely only 
about 5% of the time. 

777
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,400
Is it a true emergency? 
Like you? 

778
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,500
There will be times when you 
walk into a room and childhood 

779
00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:31,300
blue and you're like oh that's 
enough. 

780
00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:37,200
Access and you take care of that
very now Epi everything code. 

781
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:41,100
But that's like, not a very 
common thing that happens in the

782
00:43:41,107 --> 00:43:44,000
hospital. 
Like most things, you can slow 

783
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:48,000
down, you can stop and you can 
think and you can do something 

784
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,100
that is appropriate in, right? 
Don't fly off the handle. 

785
00:43:51,300 --> 00:43:55,700
Don't react, and that good has 
to go, that and is more like 

786
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:57,900
anything in life. 
I'm fine. 

787
00:43:57,900 --> 00:44:01,400
I'm talking medical, 
psychosocial, everything, and A 

788
00:44:01,408 --> 00:44:02,800
thing that throws you for a 
loop. 

789
00:44:03,100 --> 00:44:05,900
It's not an emergency. 
You can figure it out, don't 

790
00:44:06,100 --> 00:44:08,800
just don't react, don't react 
think. 

791
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,200
And then you can make it through
it, get some help. 

792
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:15,400
There's so many things. 
And then you said something that

793
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,600
people shouldn't do. 
Yeah, something that I'm here. 

794
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:20,200
This is like, don't listen to 
that. 

795
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:24,100
That's like when anybody tells 
you you can't do something like,

796
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,900
oh, you want to go into this 
type of nursing? 

797
00:44:28,300 --> 00:44:30,500
You can't do that. 
I remember when I told my 

798
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:33,400
grandmother, I was going to be a
nurse the first thing. 

799
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:37,400
She said to me, she's like a 
nurse that's for women. 

800
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,000
You can't do this. 
Yeah. 

801
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:43,600
And like she meant well and she 
just was clear from different 

802
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:47,600
generation and because her 
daughter was also was a nurse. 

803
00:44:48,100 --> 00:44:50,800
And yeah, I didn't take that to 
heart. 

804
00:44:51,100 --> 00:44:54,300
I still became a nurse. 
Yeah, exactly. 

805
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,200
Don't ya. 
Don't let don't listen to the 

806
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,200
naysayers. 
It's just going to build this 

807
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,100
drag you down. 
Yeah, I surround yourself with 

808
00:45:01,100 --> 00:45:03,900
positive Is it people like that 
is what you want to do? 

809
00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:06,500
Is surround yourself by people 
whose eyes light up when you 

810
00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:09,000
enter the room but that's what 
you gotta do. 

811
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:12,900
Yeah, that's good advice. 
So the last part of the 

812
00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:14,400
interview is a rapid fire 
questions. 

813
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,400
Questions questions. 
Okay. 

814
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:22,400
What's your favorite holiday? 
Thanksgiving, because I love the

815
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:26,700
food, I love the family, I love 
the Gathering, I don't like the 

816
00:45:26,700 --> 00:45:29,800
social cultural implications of 
people, coming to the new world,

817
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:32,900
and killing Native Americans, 
but that's okay. 

818
00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:34,600
You can repurpose it to 
something different. 

819
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:35,900
I'm sorry, you're Italian, 
right? 

820
00:45:37,100 --> 00:45:40,600
You know, what's, but Genta, 
that's my husband's last name. 

821
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,300
I'm Puerto Rican and 
African-American deporting 

822
00:45:47,300 --> 00:45:52,900
happened. okay, so, you know, my
name Anybody side. 

823
00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:54,800
Okay? 
Everybody said, yeah, okay. 

824
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,800
I'm so my wife is Indian. 
My kids are biracial, like your 

825
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,800
kids and like I don't know most 
beautiful kids in the world like

826
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,100
this biracial kids. 
Here's like my got you. 

827
00:46:05,300 --> 00:46:09,800
I look at my son and daughter. 
I'm like, you are so beautiful 

828
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:13,500
all the time. 
All right, this is not rapid. 

829
00:46:13,500 --> 00:46:17,600
This is not rabbit. 
What's your favorite pizza 

830
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,300
topping? 
Oh, jalapenos corn. 

831
00:46:20,500 --> 00:46:21,800
I'm Nick. 
Pizza every Friday night. 

832
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:25,100
We make peace and my favorite 
one is jalapeno, corn and pepper

833
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,900
on top of it. 
Yeah. 

834
00:46:26,900 --> 00:46:29,600
Okay. 
And if you had to pick a spirit 

835
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:32,100
animal, what? 
I'll tell you right now animal, 

836
00:46:32,300 --> 00:46:36,300
do you feel like it is my spirit
animal is a jackrabbit a 

837
00:46:36,300 --> 00:46:38,600
jackrabbit? 
Yeah, and I have actually 

838
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:43,600
encountered a jackrabbit in the 
desert and we had a very 

839
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,900
spiritual experience talk about 
I can't give you too many 

840
00:46:46,900 --> 00:46:49,400
details about that, but yeah, 
it's a jackrabbit. 

841
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,600
Answers for these things. 
I love it. 

842
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,300
What is your spirit animal? 
Great. 

843
00:46:59,300 --> 00:47:00,800
Thanks for asking. 
No problem. 

844
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:05,100
I'm interested in people. 
I'm not so much as now, I'm 

845
00:47:05,100 --> 00:47:11,600
going to Rapid Fire. 
Let me, let me like, what animal

846
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,300
do I feel like I would Have you 
never thought about this? 

847
00:47:15,300 --> 00:47:17,400
You ask this question ever 
thought about it. 

848
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,800
You God Sandra. 
I've never thought about. 

849
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:24,000
What's your favorite holiday? 
Thank you. 

850
00:47:25,300 --> 00:47:33,500
I feel like my spirit animal is 
An ostrich and ostrich. 

851
00:47:33,900 --> 00:47:35,800
Yes. 
Okay I like it. 

852
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:39,600
I don't really know why. 
I just feel like a giraffe or an

853
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:42,900
ostrich like something wrong 
because I'm like 59. 

854
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:48,000
But there's also something about
the way like an ostrich. 

855
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,100
I think I'm more of an ostrich 
because it's a little bird. 

856
00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:53,900
Like, and like I feel like I 
could be a little more like like

857
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:56,400
and then get my wings going. 
I don't know. 

858
00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:00,400
I just like giraffes a little 
too slow like yeah. 

859
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:03,900
An ostrich is a little more on 
my like frequency. 

860
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,900
Well, I spent a lot of time with
birds recently, as I've 

861
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,100
mentioned to you before we 
started recording. 

862
00:48:09,100 --> 00:48:12,600
So I've got eight chickens and 
it's so funny. 

863
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:16,000
I look at them and I see them 
looking at me. 

864
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,500
And I think to myself, if you 
were the size of the ostrich, 

865
00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:25,400
you would definitely eat me. 
It's so funny. 

866
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,300
I'm like, you just don't care, 
we just can't do it. 

867
00:48:27,300 --> 00:48:31,600
But if you could, you would ya 
like An ostrich is super 

868
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,300
powerful to, which is why it's 
just like a form. 

869
00:48:34,300 --> 00:48:36,200
Like, it's not. 
Yeah, I can kiss her to kiss you

870
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:36,700
guys. 
Yeah. 

871
00:48:36,700 --> 00:48:39,600
Another very powerful think of 
it, but you also hear about an 

872
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,200
ostrich like they're being 
cowardly. 

873
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,400
Is that true? 
Or is that just like a cartoon 

874
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:44,900
thing? 
They say like, they put their 

875
00:48:44,900 --> 00:48:46,600
head in the sand? 
Yeah. 

876
00:48:46,900 --> 00:48:48,000
Oh I didn't even think about 
that. 

877
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,700
But like, because you don't seem
like, yeah, that's what you 

878
00:48:50,700 --> 00:48:52,900
would. 
Yeah, yeah, I don't I didn't 

879
00:48:52,900 --> 00:48:53,900
know about that. 
I do. 

880
00:48:53,900 --> 00:48:57,200
I have to study their their 
their behaviors in the wild 

881
00:48:57,300 --> 00:48:58,200
although that more. 
Okay. 

882
00:48:58,200 --> 00:48:59,500
Get back with him. 
That come I. 

883
00:48:59,500 --> 00:49:04,000
Well I well here I see That 
David where can people find you?

884
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,100
Where can they be like your 
podcast? 

885
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:10,400
Get your book, give a Shameless 
plug for my last year's, as we 

886
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,000
sign off, nothing Shameless 
about it. 

887
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:16,100
So you can find my, my book on 
Amazon, it's called nearest Papa

888
00:49:16,300 --> 00:49:18,400
16. 
Meditations on Parenthood from a

889
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,000
pediatric, oncology nurse. 
It's also in many local 

890
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,300
bookstores in the Bay Area, but 
if you're not in the Bay Area, 

891
00:49:25,300 --> 00:49:29,500
Amazon's going to be your best 
bet, and if you want to support 

892
00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:32,000
your local bookstore, Or enter 
the bookstore. 

893
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:35,500
Go to the person in charge and 
say I'd like to get this book 

894
00:49:35,500 --> 00:49:37,800
and they'll say, we don't carry,
there's Papa here. 

895
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:39,700
And you'll say, well, can you 
order it for me? 

896
00:49:39,700 --> 00:49:41,300
And they'll say, sure we can 
order it. 

897
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:43,600
So, that's the best way to get 
this book. 

898
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:46,000
Is to ask your local bookstore, 
support your brick, and mortar, 

899
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,300
and get that book to you. 
The podcast. 

900
00:49:48,300 --> 00:49:51,700
You can hear it anywhere on 
whatever podcasts platform. 

901
00:49:51,700 --> 00:49:53,200
You listen to is also known as 
Papa. 

902
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:56,500
It's hilarious. 
Each episode is 15 minutes. 

903
00:49:56,500 --> 00:49:59,000
It's very digestible. 
You can listen to it on the way 

904
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:04,100
to work or And while you're 
knowing your spouse and it's 

905
00:50:04,100 --> 00:50:07,100
funny when I got are pods, those
are like the noise canceling 

906
00:50:07,100 --> 00:50:09,100
headphones. 
It like almost ended my marriage

907
00:50:09,100 --> 00:50:12,100
because my wife could literally 
be behind me screaming. 

908
00:50:12,100 --> 00:50:17,200
I'd be like the the so 
definitely are pods for 

909
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,900
marriage. 
So and yeah, the the fuck is a 

910
00:50:19,900 --> 00:50:23,700
super fun and one thing that my 
my listeners do is they write me

911
00:50:23,700 --> 00:50:26,800
letters and letters of 
Parenthood questions. 

912
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:30,400
I get the most amazing letters 
and I do lots of research and I 

913
00:50:30,500 --> 00:50:33,100
answer their questions. 
So if you are interested in 

914
00:50:33,300 --> 00:50:36,600
interacting with me and being on
my podcast, meaning I will read 

915
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:40,000
your letter and answer. 
It email me David at nurse top 

916
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,900
of the book.com and let's, let's
solve these problems together. 

917
00:50:44,700 --> 00:50:48,300
Oh man, that is so deep. 
I feel like this this podcast 

918
00:50:48,300 --> 00:50:50,500
episode has been an emotional 
roller coaster. 

919
00:50:50,500 --> 00:50:54,600
I can tell ya you're going to 
need and then I think I do. 

920
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,800
Again, I don't know it. 
You always have this effect on 

921
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:06,200
podcasting was just on mine, but
it was I think it was just 

922
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:09,000
really deep and I'm really 
thankful that you came on. 

923
00:51:09,300 --> 00:51:11,800
Yeah, it's a lot of fun. 
Something about me and I don't 

924
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:15,800
know if it's particularly unique
but I just like have zero 

925
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:18,300
filter. 
I mean I know how to act 

926
00:51:18,300 --> 00:51:21,100
appropriately, I put on my pants
the right way, I will not do 

927
00:51:21,100 --> 00:51:25,100
something grossly inappropriate 
but like, I'm not gonna have 

928
00:51:25,100 --> 00:51:29,700
like a conversation with you at 
a party or on a podcast if we're

929
00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:31,200
going to talk about. 
Something we're going to be 

930
00:51:31,500 --> 00:51:34,700
fully real, and that means 
talking about things are hard 

931
00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:37,700
and talking about things are 
layers and having those things 

932
00:51:37,700 --> 00:51:41,500
happen in the same breath, 
because it just like, that's 

933
00:51:41,500 --> 00:51:45,600
what life is. 
It's multifactorial, it has lots

934
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,900
of emotions, it's messy and if 
you can't deal with it and you 

935
00:51:48,900 --> 00:51:51,000
might as well not appear on 
broadcast. 

936
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:53,500
Yeah. 
And it's life. 

937
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:58,400
I think what this is, this is 
life so well, it was perfectly 

938
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,400
depicted. 
So thank you for sharing. 

939
00:52:00,700 --> 00:52:04,000
Thank you for your time today. 
Now it's my pleasure, none, and 

940
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,700
sharing everything that you did 
today and I know people are 

941
00:52:06,700 --> 00:52:07,600
going to get something out of 
it. 

942
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:08,600
So thank you. 
Yeah. 

943
00:52:08,700 --> 00:52:11,400
No. 
I'm definitely happy to be here 

944
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:14,800
and some one more plug. 
I will tell your listeners that 

945
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:21,300
May 11th 9 p.m. hour NBC Today. 
Show was talking about my book 

946
00:52:21,300 --> 00:52:23,800
with anchor so that's something 
that's coming up. 

947
00:52:24,900 --> 00:52:26,200
I cannot wait to put that on 
here. 

948
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:28,300
I will definitely link that in 
the show notes. 

949
00:52:28,500 --> 00:52:30,800
Yeah, this is something that 
comes out. 

950
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,900
Yeah. 
Or just if you link it, then 

951
00:52:33,900 --> 00:52:34,500
they'll. 
All right. 

952
00:52:34,500 --> 00:52:37,800
I can give you the website 
before like after comes out, so 

953
00:52:38,100 --> 00:52:39,300
you can do it. 
After comes out. 

954
00:52:39,300 --> 00:52:41,200
You want to do it beforehand? 
That's fine. 

955
00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:42,800
No stress. 
You out Sandra. 

956
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,100
You got too much going on 
already. 

957
00:52:47,100 --> 00:52:50,300
So that's a wrap, be sure to 
subscribe to the show so you 

958
00:52:50,300 --> 00:52:52,900
don't miss an episode and leave 
me a review. 

959
00:52:52,900 --> 00:52:55,800
If you like the show I would 
love to get 5 stars. 

960
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:57,900
The dark. 
Turner's podcast is on the world

961
00:52:57,900 --> 00:53:02,500
wide web, YouTube Instagram, 
Facebook, Twitter, patreon and 

962
00:53:02,500 --> 00:53:06,000
Tick-Tock subscribe to my 
newsletter for updates on new 

963
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:09,500
podcast episodes and other 
information to help you on your 

964
00:53:09,500 --> 00:53:11,900
own nursing Journey. 
You can always message me at the

965
00:53:11,900 --> 00:53:15,000
doctor nurse podcast at 
gmail.com with any career 

966
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,900
professions. 
At you're interested in hearing 

967
00:53:16,900 --> 00:53:20,200
about and just a friendly. 
Reminder, the information on 

968
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:23,300
this podcast is for educational 
purposes only and the 

969
00:53:23,300 --> 00:53:26,300
information should not be used 
in substitute for Professional 

970
00:53:26,300 --> 00:53:29,800
Care by a medical provider. 
The information in this podcast 

971
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,700
does not represent medical or 
professional advice or services.

972
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:38,400
Jim.