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Hi guys, and welcome to another 
week of the doctor nurse 

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podcast. 
I'm your host Sandra magenta, 

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and today in the podcast, we 
have Sandra pain and she's an 

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xrn and a master's certified 
holistic wellness 

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trauma-informed, coach, she's 
here to talk to us about her 

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career journey and why she 
considers herself an xrn. 

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I have always heard the saying 
once a nurse, always a nurse and

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we actually get into it on the 
podcast about why? 

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Exactly she Has to embrace this 
new title for her career. 

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She's also the podcast host for 
in the silence, which is a 

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platform where she talks about 
nurses, raw, stories and 

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realities of living, life as a 
nurse and helping to inspire 

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change, and talking about tough 
aspects of nursing. 

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She's also has a community group
where she offers support for 

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nurses to help, not only just 
survive their careers, but also 

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thrive in their nursing careers.
So guys, I really hope you're 

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going to enjoy the chat. 
We're going to talk about some 

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really hard stuff at first, when
I was listening to it, I was 

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like, I really want to make sure
that I gave a balanced view of 

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nursing because there's a lot of
good things within the career of

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nursing, but I think for this 
episode today we're going to 

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focus in on some of the hard 
things. 

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Some of the things that are not 
as often talked about and I hope

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you guys are able to get 
something from it. 

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And again, just to hear that, we
believe that you don't have to 

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stay here. 
If you're unhappy in your Rear 

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so enjoy. 
And let's hear from our first 

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Guys, thank you so much for 
listening to the podcast. 

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And let's dive into today's 
episode. 

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Hi, welcome Sandra. 
Hi, thank you so much for having

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me. 
You know, it's great to be here.

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Tell my listeners. 
Exactly how you see your job 

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role, like briefly described. 
It are you working as a nurse 

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and really what it is? 
You do for a living? 

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Yeah, thanks and so first I'll 
just make a correction at there 

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that I'm not a registered nurse.
I am no longer registered with 

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the college here. 
I live in British Columbia 

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Canada and this year I decided 
not to renew my license and for 

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a whole lot of reasons, but it 
just it was time. 

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It was time for me to fully 
break the chains and step into 

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into my practice in in just a 
much more free way without the 

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Find some of what sometimes 
nursing can create for us. 

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If I let go of my license, but 
I've been working as a coach now

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for about three years. 
And I took my training through 

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the International Association of
Wellness professionals, which 

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I'm working with them. 
Now, as a master coach trainer. 

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So I helped to, I hope the train
coaches who are coming into the 

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Wellness field. 
I talk about it all the time 

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because I think it's a really 
beautiful transition for a lot 

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of nurses who are looking to 
looking to shift out of 

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traditional practice and create 
something of their own, I think 

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holistic, Wellness is really 
what we all thought. 

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Everything was going to be and 
so diff if that's something that

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Sparks for people, it's the iwp 
is a really great place to 

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explore that and to just to 
really expand on their, their 

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knowledge and their skills with 
coaching and to helping people 

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to really get to the root cause 
to create lasting change in 

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their life and not just treat 
their no illness and bodily 

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create health and wellness for 
them. 

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So when I became a coach, I was 
just working with women and then

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when 2020 hit I was I kind of 
felt like I was in the back seat

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and I was just Change things 
unfold and feeling like I like 

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there's something's going to 
happen here like it. 

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If it just, I knew that there 
was something unfolding for me 

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personally to. 
And so I started working with 

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amazing brilliant coach, her 
name's Megan, Joe Wilson and 

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defeat. 
She had turned her her program 

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online because of everything 
that was going on and so I had 

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access to it but she's in the 
United States and and through 

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that program I really took the 
dive and I started to work with 

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nurses because to be very 
honest, I I was not super keen 

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on working with nurses. 
I felt and I've experienced my 

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own bullying in the profession. 
I have experienced some of the 

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toxic toxic relationship and the
toxic sort of like, Cutthroat 

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competitive type of behavior in 
nursing. 

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And I was like, I don't know if 
I really want to work with those

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people could drive up here, but 
I really want to go back. 

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But but I made the decision to 
just give it a go. 

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And the first Workshop I did 
online, there was something like

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I do you remember I think 1,000 
people roughly Third. 

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And so it was like holy crap 
this is a need. 

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And what's a bald from that 
really is like anybody that ever

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comes in a tense things that I 
do. 

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They usually say one of two 
things are both things and one 

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is that it feels so good to know
that I'm a nurse and I get it 

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right. 
Because how many times do we 

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talk to counselors or we talk to
other people in our family? 

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Our friends people just don't 
get it. 

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If they're not a nurse, it's 
really hard to understand what 

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it is to be a nurse. 
It's not just passing up hills 

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of course I'm like hanging 
medication. 

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Ins and doing its, there's so 
much more to nursing and I don't

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think you can really get it 
until you've done it. 

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And the other thing go say to is
like, it's just so good to know 

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that they're not alone because 
if there's another piece that is

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really prevalent in, in the 
nursing culture is a lot of fear

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and shame and so when people are
struggling we don't talk about 

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it. 
We don't seek help. 

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We don't talk to her colleagues 
we tend to a time not it's not 

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everyone, of course nothing ever
is but we tend to bottle things 

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up and want to be the strong 
nerves. 

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I want to be the one that can 
handle it. 

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We want to feel like we're cut 
out for this job, and if we are 

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struggling, then yeah, something
inside of us, we take it on and 

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we're like, I'm weak. 
I'm not good enough, I'm not cut

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out for this, and so I 
experienced that myself and so 

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I'm really grateful that that 
comes back as a reflection. 

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That it's just feels so good to 
know that they're not alone in 

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their struggles. 
And and as things have evolved 

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with my work nurses, I've 
created the program, like you 

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talked about called nerves are X
and so it's an online program 

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and then there's also the 
coaching community. 

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So people All can attend live 
sessions with me and the rest of

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the group and there's just a 
real beautiful connection that 

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happens with nurses that come 
into that space and the 

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foundation of it, really is some
for me to create a safe 

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container for these nurses. 
Because there isn't a lot of 

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safe containers in nursing to be
able to actually talk about the 

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realities and talk about our 
truth and how much we're 

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struggling with different 
things. 

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And then, of course, just 
through my own practice and 

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everything that I have learned 
and explored in my personal 

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journey and just like, And that 
I have taken just to help people

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on a really deep level to deal 
with some of that shame and some

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of the trauma, as well as 
however, many other symptoms and

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things that people might be 
going through. 

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I like what you're saying about 
having a safe space for nurses 

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to come and talk about that 
stuff. 

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Because one of the things I 
remember hearing in your podcast

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is that went nurses. 
Have this expectation that a 

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patient dies or somebody has a 
traumatic van and a room and 

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you're expected to pick right up
and walk right back into the 

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next room and it's like nothing 
ever happened to her as a baby. 

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And so there's an unrealistic 
expectation based on nurses, not

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only to just be perfect but also
to perform perfectly, right? 

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So I think there's two elements 
of nursing which is kind of 

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hard. 
It's the customer satisfaction. 

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How likable are you? 
Yeah, double but then on top of 

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all that you then have to 
perform perfectly as the storms 

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of the job or all around you and
the expectations that we place 

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on nurses and nursing The nurse 
practitioners and Physicians is 

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be okay, and to move on into, 
don't process and just move. 

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And when I'm finding it, a lot 
of the research I've been doing 

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about meditation mindfulness, 
understanding the mind, and the 

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body connection is that what's 
going on up here is manifesting 

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itself in the body and a lot of 
nurses, especially the ones that

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I talked to, on my podcast, have
medical issues and thyroid, and 

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all these things that are 
happening to them, that they're 

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like, I had no No idea that I 
was the sick or I had these 

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problems and I truly believe 
that what we end up experiencing

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on the job and zip manifesting 
itself through disease. 

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If it's not processed 
appropriately, if it's not 

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processed with consideration to 
really, what's going on inside 

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of you, and letting that 
release, it has to release. 

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I have a toddler. 
My toddler has to release. 

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It has it. 
He has a little, like, top that 

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he needs to let his energy out. 
I think adults are really no 

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different than Children, even 
though we like to think we're so

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much more sophisticated than 
toddlers. 

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I actually think. 
Toddlers are the true 

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manifestation of what adults 
wish they could be right, which 

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is undomesticated humans that 
you just act in feel. 

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However, you feel because it's 
how you feel and why would I 

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suppress that? 
And so I think that if we did 

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more of the crying if we did 
more of the again, releasing 

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that pressure valve on the insta
pot, that just lets that 

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pressure kind of move. 
I think I think nurses need us. 

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Safe space for that and I don't 
necessarily know what the job 

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does for nurses. 
Which I remember zero. 

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It did nothing for us as far as 
processing. 

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What the trauma was, what, what 
do you offer nurses? 

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As far as the trauma is 
concerned, to help them process.

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And to be that release. 
Yeah, that's next to giving 

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myself with last year, like, 
nodding with your teeth, you're 

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talking, because it's just those
things that you're saying. 

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And I think I also talked about 
my own kids when I'm talking 

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about self love and self trust 
and those and he had an 

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emotional processing because 
they just didn't have those 

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filters. 
They don't have those conditions

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that we create that are created 
in us and that we create over 

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time. 
And so they just are free, 

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they're free and who doesn't 
want to be free. 

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Being every single, one of us 
wants to be free. 

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And So within this container so 
it's absolutely essential. 

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Like, it's not a, it's not a 
negotiable if you want to heal 

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deep, deep healing. 
And and Particularly pleased 

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deep-rooted traumas and I'm not 
necessarily always talking about

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big travel, they say Big T. 
Trauma, like the big situations 

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that are events that would 
happen. 

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But I'm trying about like this, 
the smaller events that that 

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happen over time, and that we 
often will dismiss. 

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And not really give the 
attention such a well-liked, 

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like, rejection abandonment or 
feeling. 

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When something happens when 
you're in school as a teenager 

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and, and you want to fit in and 
you feel like you're not cool. 

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Not for you. 
Feel like you're fat and Shane 

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is such a big part of that 
that's woven into all of those 

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smaller traumatic events and 
really drama is not about the 

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event. 
It's about what happens inside 

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of us on a physiological level 
that can create stuck energy in 

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the body, we gathered that holds
that the trauma response system 

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that is on automatic, it's 
nothing that we necessarily are 

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even aware of most of the time. 
But we are constantly scanning 

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our environment for threat. 
That's just what our nervous 

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system does and if it Catches 
anything that makes us feel a 

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threat or makes us feel / to. 
So, somebody says something 

228
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right? 
Like the girls on the playground

229
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,700
are saying like, oh, you're a 
loser, we don't want to play 

230
00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:12,700
with you like that hurts and so 
it creates a mood inside of us. 

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And anyways, I will tangent too 
far into that but but in the 

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group, so when I it's absolutely
essential for it to be a safe 

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space for people to heal. 
Because what happens with those 

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wounds. 
As we create guards, we create 

235
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blocks because we don't want to 
have to feel that again, right? 

236
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So, that kind of self-protection
also blocks us from from being 

237
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vulnerable and from really 
healing. 

238
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And so in order to be 
vulnerable, you have to, you 

239
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have to feel safe right in order
to. 

240
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So once we feel safe, then we 
can start sharing what's deep 

241
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and what's true inside of us and
we can, we can cry, or we could 

242
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scream or we can just talk about
ugly, dark things, that are that

243
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,000
sometimes percolating might have
all of us and sure and then not 

244
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be judged and not be criticized 
and not be told that There's 

245
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,300
something wrong with you and 
like, you need to be fixed. 

246
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:06,300
But instead have somebody like 
myself, who facilitates a 

247
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process through questioning but 
really, the bigger part of what 

248
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:15,100
I do is like holding space and 
not just empty space, that's 

249
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uncomfortable. 
It's this deep compassionate 

250
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:20,300
space where and everyone in the 
group is doing the same thing, 

251
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:25,300
like they're all tuned in like 
nervous systems locked on and as

252
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someone else is sharing and the 
others are showing up and 

253
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they're just witnessing and 
they're holding. 

254
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:32,200
And there in the chat, there, 
offering things are there. 

255
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,500
You can tell, like, want us to 
leave, they'll be holding their 

256
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:37,800
heart or something. 
There is something absolutely, I

257
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:42,400
get Shivers because it's 
magical, what happens when we 

258
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:46,800
can come together and support 
each other and just be for each 

259
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,100
other. 
And I'm talking about a group of

260
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:52,500
nurses who are not not they 
don't, we not all believing the 

261
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,900
same thing, not on the same page
as of everything in life. 

262
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:58,500
They come from different walks 
of life, different belief 

263
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:01,500
systems, and it doesn't Matter. 
So the shit gets dropped at the 

264
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:05,000
door and they can just show on 
and hold that space for each 

265
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,500
other. 
And that's what it's why almost 

266
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:12,100
exclusively do group work 
because there is I facilitated, 

267
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:15,400
but really it's the group that 
does the magic and it's abnormal

268
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,300
amazing. 
Yeah, it's so good. 

269
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,000
That's incredible. 
So you do, you have the course 

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00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:24,100
material available? 
You have the community available

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00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:27,500
and then you have your podcast 
and your again, one of the 

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00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,000
things I like to focus in here 
at the puppet, the dark First 

273
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:34,000
podcast is creating multiple 
streams creating multiple things

274
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,800
that were involved in and I love
that you also have the podcast, 

275
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,600
which is this platform for 
nurses to come and talk about 

276
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:46,100
their raw touching stories and 
kind of heal through sharing 

277
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:51,200
their stories of working at the 
bedside or different events that

278
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,900
have happened in their career. 
What have you been seeing on the

279
00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:55,400
podcast? 
That's kind of a different 

280
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,800
element to what you're doing in 
the coaching space. 

281
00:14:57,900 --> 00:15:01,100
Well, what's really interesting?
Like, if you think back years 

282
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:04,400
and years and years ago, there 
was always this like community 

283
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,900
of Storytelling, right? 
Like there would be like, these 

284
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:09,300
tribal kind of gatherings, where
people would sit around, and 

285
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:12,300
they would share their stories. 
And there is something really 

286
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,500
think there's something 
cathartic about sharing her 

287
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,000
story. 
So there's a release that 

288
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,100
happens. 
There is healing. 

289
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:20,000
That happens in sharing our 
stories and being witnessed and 

290
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000
heard. 
Like I said, not judged or 

291
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,000
criticized but just really 
having that space be held for 

292
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,900
them. 
But then there is also healing 

293
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:30,600
from The Listener because of the
isolation that comes With shame 

294
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,200
and that comes with trauma 
often. 

295
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,300
So the person that's listening 
is like, oh my God, they're all 

296
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,400
the words are like, coming right
out of their mouth that I could 

297
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,900
be speaking. 
And when we hear that, it 

298
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:43,400
changes a chemistry inside of us
where we can feel like I'm not 

299
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,700
alone in this and the podcast 
really stemmed from being with 

300
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:51,400
these nurses and recognizing how
much how much fear they had 

301
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,600
around. 
Speaking the truth and how much 

302
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:55,600
and how much shame really was 
held. 

303
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,000
And so I wanted to create a 
space where nurses could come to

304
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,100
share. 
I've had lots of nurses on the 

305
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:04,400
show but what is still really 
common is Nurses. 

306
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:08,400
Not comfortable sharing the 
truth because there is fear 

307
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:12,000
around being disciplined or 
being really. 

308
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,900
I mean, we've had nurses here in
our Province who have been fined

309
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,700
for sharing on social media that
their unit is short-staffed. 

310
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:22,600
I mean this is it's a fact, it's
short-staffed everywhere and 

311
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,100
they shared about a nor fight. 
There is legitimate fear in 

312
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:30,100
nurses speaking out because they
have been shut down and I have 

313
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:34,200
been told that you're supposed 
to act and speak according to 

314
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,700
what can he say and if you 
don't, then then you're going 

315
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:41,500
outside of that that box that we
want you to fit into and you'll 

316
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,800
be disciplined as much as I want
to create the safe space. 

317
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,900
I there's also this recognition 
that a lot of people won't speak

318
00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:50,000
out because of that feared. 
So what seems to be kind of 

319
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,900
involving this year is there's a
whole new kind of stream of 

320
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:56,900
nurses that I've been 
interviewing of ones who have 

321
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:59,400
stepped into a much more 
empowered space in their own. 

322
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,900
Channel Journeys and are saying 
like they can tell me what they 

323
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:05,500
want to tell me like as far as 
what I'm supposed to say or what

324
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:08,800
I'm supposed to do, but they've 
branched off and they've most of

325
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:12,000
them created their own kind of 
little either side practices or 

326
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,599
completely full yeah practices 
in there and they're distancing 

327
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:19,900
themselves from from this system
that wants to control and 

328
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:22,500
recognizing that. 
That's not that's not aligned 

329
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,599
with who I am the devastation 
that is that is happening in 

330
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:28,600
this profession and in health 
care over or we could even call 

331
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,600
it health care about Will Call 
it that the devastation that's 

332
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:35,000
happening is its profound and we
need to talk about it. 

333
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,600
We can't just pretend it's not 
happening because it's happening

334
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,400
and if we don't talk about it, 
then people won't feel safe to 

335
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,600
find help and support when they 
need it. 

336
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:48,000
I've said like the ship is going
down like the our Healthcare 

337
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,200
System. 
Like the ship is going down and 

338
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,200
we all feel it. 
So, I'm not saying something 

339
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,200
that isn't that's like news to 
people. 

340
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,500
If you're working in this or 
you're witnessing it at any 

341
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:59,600
level, it's going down until 
there's people that are like, 

342
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:02,300
Abandon Ship right there saying,
I'm done. 

343
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:04,600
I'm not doing this anymore. 
I'm going to step off and go do 

344
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,000
my own thing and I support those
nurses. 

345
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,700
And I also support the ones who 
are staying on the ship who are 

346
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,300
like. 
This is, this is what I want to 

347
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,800
do. 
I want to create change and I 

348
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,100
think there is a lot of 
potential for change, but it 

349
00:18:15,108 --> 00:18:18,800
starts with ourselves, we can't 
be agents of systemic change. 

350
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,600
If we are struggling in our own 
personal ways, I'm here about, 

351
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,700
that's really realistic Cedar 
throat. 

352
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:27,300
Did you get to this specific 
spot in your career because you 

353
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:31,000
didn't wake up one day and 
become This and advocate for 

354
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,400
nurses to share their stories 
right here. 

355
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:35,900
You didn't start your career 
here. 

356
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:38,700
It started in one spot and you 
ended up here. 

357
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,700
So can you walk me through kind 
of where how you started your 

358
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:45,800
career and kind of from the the 
moment that you were like I'm 

359
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,600
nurse I'm doing my thing and 
then how you've kind of evolved 

360
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:53,000
into this position that you're 
in now and doing what you're 

361
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,800
doing today I've been a nurse I 
apparently technically can't 

362
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,200
even call myself a nurse 
anymore. 

363
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,000
So the 4:15 Years. 
How do you well? 

364
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:05,100
Apparently, the college has 
like, owns the word and so, if 

365
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:08,600
I'm not registered with them, 
then I can't call myself under. 

366
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,700
So, I mean, I'm a have my degree
in nursing and I have 15. 

367
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:15,200
So I call myself an xrn and so 
that's what you wrote that. 

368
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,200
Yeah, I thought that was a typo.
We wrote that. 

369
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,000
I was like, himself a next her 
and like once a nurse always 

370
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,100
slide. 
That's, that's why I put that 

371
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,000
heart. 
Yes, I'm heart. 

372
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,500
We are all nurses. 
They nursing is a part of who we

373
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,100
are. 
I've come to this place and I'm 

374
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,800
like, they can tell me whatever,
they Tell me and they can say 

375
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,500
whatever. 
But I it's a part of who I am 

376
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,200
and it's not every piece of my 
identity either. 

377
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:40,400
So, when I started nursing, it 
was like, this was not my 

378
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,700
end-all, be-all goal in life. 
I was not like, we can't leave 

379
00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:45,800
nurse. 
I was coming out of the 

380
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:49,100
university and my mom said you 
better check pick something like

381
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,700
you have to get a job. 
And so I was like I don't know 

382
00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:54,300
what I want to do and she said 
well why don't you become a 

383
00:19:54,308 --> 00:19:56,500
nurse? 
And I was like, okay, so I 

384
00:19:56,500 --> 00:20:00,000
became a nurse at the fund. 
I excelled on it, I will Why I 

385
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,900
did really well during school 
aside from like the heavy 

386
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,800
bullying. 
And like, I didn't fit the mold 

387
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:09,100
though, that, that is something 
that was really clear early on. 

388
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:12,400
And then when I went into 
nursing, I went worked with 

389
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:16,400
babies over to the NICU and then
I worked in the community and I 

390
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,700
absolutely loved working in 
both, but the social aspects of 

391
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:24,200
the hospital and the the moral 
conflicts that I faced in the 

392
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,700
hospital was really a lot of my 
part and then just witnessing 

393
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,600
death. 
And it's just Significant 

394
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,300
Despair and Devastation. 
It really affected me on a deep 

395
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,300
emotional level. 
And I did not have the tools and

396
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:38,500
the resources to process it and 
I didn't. 

397
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:41,000
So I didn't know how so I didn't
do anything with it. 

398
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,900
And then so it just builds up 
and built up and built up, until

399
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,600
I eventually left. 
And I went into the community 

400
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,700
and it was like, it was better 
because ours are better. 

401
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:53,300
The job wasn't as devastating, 
but again, that moral distress, 

402
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:55,900
kept, showing up for me. 
It's like, I want to do 

403
00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:57,700
something. 
I would say I'm like, through 

404
00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,100
Yuma toddler. 
See if you ever watch the 

405
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:00,800
robots. 
Maybe it's like see you need 

406
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,100
filling me. 
That's me. 

407
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,600
I'm like see you need stuff like
this. 

408
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,100
I think we should be doing this 
because this is what I see 

409
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,600
happening and I think we should 
do this and move it. 

410
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,100
And there was like, no, no 
budget, right? 

411
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:15,900
All this all the reasons why we 
couldn't do things. 

412
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:19,300
And so it was like this in 
eternal struggle of everything 

413
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:22,600
that I wanted to do for people 
was like there was a lid could 

414
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,700
on it and then after I came back
from my last, Matt leaves, like 

415
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:30,600
she's going to be 5 this year 
and I got and I was I had this 

416
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,900
really difficult time and like 
everything they want you guys 

417
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:36,000
have in Canada for maternity 
leave. 

418
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,800
Oh, we get spaghetti sauce here.
Yeah year. 

419
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:44,000
So yeah guys, I know that sort 
of wanted to bring that out as 

420
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,700
you should hunger because that 
and actually they changed it. 

421
00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:48,400
We can we can take 18 months 
now. 

422
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,100
You don't get it fully paid. 
But you can take 18 months and 

423
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,200
come back to your job. 
So just going to put that out 

424
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,800
there. 
But yeah, so when I was coming 

425
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,600
back though, I was like this, 
internal struggle. 

426
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:02,700
It was like, really, really at 
the Forefront because it was 

427
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,600
very clear to me that this was 
not where I should be going 

428
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,900
because I had already been doing
my own work. 

429
00:22:07,900 --> 00:22:10,700
I've struggled with depression 
for most of my life and I hadn't

430
00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:13,300
really started to dig into this 
as we were mentioning before 

431
00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:16,000
like the mind-body connection 
doing a lot of like different 

432
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,700
somatic therapies and allowing 
myself to feel for like the 

433
00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:23,500
first time in my life. 
And and I was at such a better 

434
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:26,800
space and then go. 
So I did go back but was one of 

435
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,600
my first shifts in the clinic 
and I was in a room. 

436
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,200
The doctor, and the doctor was 
just, like, just being awful to 

437
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,300
this patient who just wanted to 
ask questions who just wanted to

438
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:39,100
understand. 
And I had a panic attack because

439
00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:41,300
I was like, there is the patient
there? 

440
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:43,300
Yeah, this is. 
And I was like, this is not 

441
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:46,000
where I need to be, and I never 
went back after that. 

442
00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:47,900
I never saw another patient with
a physician. 

443
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:50,000
After that day. 
I did my own stuff. 

444
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,600
They sort of like, had me do 
side work on like, on our 

445
00:22:52,608 --> 00:22:55,500
cardiac rehab program but I 
never went back to like, 

446
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,600
clinical nursing after that. 
What you were doing? 

447
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,700
Yeah, it just it was it was It's
so obvious. 

448
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:03,000
Look for, in the night, 
dismissed it, I was like, no, I 

449
00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:06,300
should go back and I went back, 
and my body was like, no, this 

450
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:09,300
is not for you. 
And and so that was a really 

451
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,700
turned that was a big turning 
point for me because I realize, 

452
00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:13,600
I can't go back, so I gotta do 
something different. 

453
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,900
And I had already been starting 
into my coaching, so it was like

454
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:20,400
Divine timing, the way 
everything evolved as it always 

455
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,200
is. 
And I started really thinking 

456
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,300
myself into my, my coaching 
practice. 

457
00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:28,200
And what I realize is like this 
is this is a way that I can. 

458
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:32,700
I can dissolve That moral 
distress because if I see a need

459
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,700
I feel the need. 
So I don't have anything in my 

460
00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:39,800
way anymore except for me and so
if I can do the work to get out 

461
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,200
of my own way, I can do whatever
I want. 

462
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:47,300
I can help people in really, 
really profound ways that I 

463
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:51,100
think we all need to be helped. 
And I'm saying that like from my

464
00:23:51,100 --> 00:23:54,500
own perspective to like I needed
that kind of help to, I needed 

465
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,600
someone to really be there for 
me. 

466
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,200
And to facilitate me through 
like deep. 

467
00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:03,200
Audiences or practices that 
helped me to access my body and 

468
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,700
helped me to feel and to move 
through these different painful 

469
00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:09,500
experiences. 
And I didn't even have any idea 

470
00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:12,800
about like inner child or inner 
critic, type of work. 

471
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,100
What before I became a coach and
now, those are big things that I

472
00:24:16,108 --> 00:24:18,000
deal with her. 
Like trauma triggers and 

473
00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:21,000
navigating stress and feeling 
dealing with her emotions. 

474
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,900
And so it's it's just been, it's
really fascinating and exciting 

475
00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:29,400
and I mean I love my life. 
My life is amazing. 

476
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:33,500
I I have flexibility, I don't 
start my day till 10, like I can

477
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:37,000
take off when I want to be off 
and I don't have anybody telling

478
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,200
me how to do my job and I can 
really help people. 

479
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,800
And that's why I was in the 
beginning, talking about the iwp

480
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,400
because I think, if nurses are 
really struggling with that 

481
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,000
moral distress, which I think so
many are quite likely. 

482
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,700
It could be the biggest 
contributing factor to to burn 

483
00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:55,100
out and that if they're thinking
about how could I how could I 

484
00:24:55,100 --> 00:24:57,600
change, how could I shift into 
something new? 

485
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,800
And also up answer people in the
In the ways that I want to that 

486
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,200
coaching is a really amazing 
Avenue for that. 

487
00:25:03,208 --> 00:25:07,800
So, so what I love about what 
you're describing is, you are 

488
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,600
talking about making lasting 
change. 

489
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,600
And I think what a lot of nurses
are starting to feel at least, 

490
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:18,000
I'm starting to feel this. 
In my career is, how are we 

491
00:25:18,008 --> 00:25:21,200
really helping people? 
Because we have certain 

492
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,700
guidelines that we have to 
follow and if we don't follow 

493
00:25:23,700 --> 00:25:25,700
the certain guidelines in your 
considered malpractice. 

494
00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:29,400
And so you're not able to really
do certain things if you 

495
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,100
actually We believe that maybe 
some of the problems and some of

496
00:25:32,108 --> 00:25:36,300
the issues that somebody might 
have might be not so cut and 

497
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:38,900
dry, it could be something 
deeper. 

498
00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:42,200
It could be the sole screaming 
out from a physical 

499
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,900
manifestation and so I really 
like that. 

500
00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:48,800
What you're able to do with your
business is your able to have a 

501
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:53,300
level of autonomy in what you 
believe can truly help create 

502
00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:55,700
change for people and Lasting 
change. 

503
00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:59,200
And I know that it hasn't just 
been this easy moment of like, 

504
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,400
well, Just stepped into it and 
Harry. 

505
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,800
There's been highs, there's been
lows, has there been a moment a 

506
00:26:04,808 --> 00:26:07,500
challenge that you really had to
overcome something to say 

507
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:08,900
scooter. 
This is it? 

508
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:12,600
This is where the rubber meets 
the road, where you can really 

509
00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:16,200
say this is when you had to 
believe in yourself to take that

510
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:20,100
dive and to really commit all 
into your business. 

511
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,100
Because that's what I really 
want nurses to hear, is that 

512
00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:28,200
your side, hustle, can beat this
space where you can be free and 

513
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:33,200
you can really let Self create 
and do whatever it is that 

514
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,400
you're wanting that. 
You feel like helps the world 

515
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,400
best. 
You don't have to be just 

516
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,300
confined to the protocols at 
your job or the standing 

517
00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:45,700
operating practice at your job, 
or just the guidelines that 

518
00:26:45,700 --> 00:26:48,500
you've been taught that the 
American Urologic society says 

519
00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:52,200
that you've got to follow. 
No, this is my space. 

520
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,700
This is my lane. 
And when you're able to grow 

521
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:58,000
that and cultivate these things 
that's really when you start 

522
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,300
operating out of your Ins in 
your strength and you can, you 

523
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:04,100
can sometimes end up turning 
that into a business and that 

524
00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:07,200
can be the thing that actually 
fuels, what ends up becoming 

525
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:11,200
your nursing side, hustle job, 
but you can turn your nursing 

526
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,700
job at your side outsole. 
Java be doing the thing that you

527
00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:16,800
really love describe to me. 
And if a challenge you had to 

528
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,900
overcome in this process, 
because I know it hasn't always 

529
00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:21,300
been easy. 
It has not been easy. 

530
00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:22,800
Lots of stuff is coming into my 
head. 

531
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,600
As I was listening to you talk 
there and I think actually, just

532
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:31,500
in addition to that, we are in a
Time in history that we have an 

533
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:36,400
opportunity to step into our 
lives in the fullest capacity. 

534
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:41,200
And as nurses, I think we are we
are primed to be the leaders of 

535
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,000
the kind of Healthcare System. 
We want, it makes me emotional 

536
00:27:44,300 --> 00:27:48,400
the kind of healthcare system 
that we want to see and we 

537
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:53,300
cannot continue giving away our 
power and just putting our heads

538
00:27:53,300 --> 00:27:56,600
down and pretending that things 
aren't as bad as they are. 

539
00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:59,500
I mean there's I'm not saying 
there's so many people fighting 

540
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,800
I'm fighting fighting but I came
to this place just in the last 

541
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:06,000
couple weeks actually of being 
like I'm done fighting. 

542
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,100
I'm done. 
It's not changing anything it's 

543
00:28:09,100 --> 00:28:12,500
time to say. 
If this is what you want, then 

544
00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:15,800
you can have it. 
But I'm done creating the kind 

545
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,800
of healthcare system that we 
want to see that we would want 

546
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,000
to experience that we would want
our family members to experience

547
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:26,900
and our friends and allowing us 
to really step into our Dharma. 

548
00:28:26,900 --> 00:28:30,700
If you will or like our with the
dermis, Hey guys, thanks for 

549
00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:33,100
listening to the podcast. 
I hope you're enjoying the 

550
00:28:33,100 --> 00:28:35,500
conversation. 
I want to take a second to 

551
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:38,800
remind you guys to join the 
doctor nurse podcast, email 

552
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,100
list. 
Weakly I send out emails about 

553
00:28:42,100 --> 00:28:46,500
podcast episodes blogs on 
creating with information about 

554
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:50,300
nursing motherhood, Finance 
health and wellness. 

555
00:28:50,700 --> 00:28:53,800
How to build side hustles. 
It's all there. 

556
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:57,000
I want to provide nurses with 
information that I'm gleaning. 

557
00:28:57,100 --> 00:28:59,400
As I grow my business, and my 
podcast. 

558
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:03,200
At and now I have to tell you 
guys about today's sponsor, the 

559
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,000
doctor nurse podcast is 
sponsored by the network nurse. 

560
00:29:06,300 --> 00:29:09,700
You guys know that I love 
Savannah Arroyo and her whole 

561
00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:12,900
team at the net worth nurse. 
I've actually had her on my 

562
00:29:12,900 --> 00:29:15,900
podcast so check out her episode
if you're wanting to know more 

563
00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:19,700
about her and what she does, her
net worth nurse team is on a 

564
00:29:19,708 --> 00:29:23,500
mission to empower nurses to 
take control of their net worth.

565
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,700
The net worth nurse is an 
educational site were nurses 

566
00:29:26,700 --> 00:29:29,400
come together to learn about 
wealth building strategies. 

567
00:29:29,900 --> 00:29:33,800
Their website has blogs 
instructional downloads video 

568
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,800
courses on real estate and 
investing personalized coaching 

569
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,000
and an interactive and growing 
community of like-minded 

570
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,800
individuals. 
The net worth nurse has 

571
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,500
everything you need to grow 
wealth. 

572
00:29:46,700 --> 00:29:49,900
Be sure to check them out in the
links in my show notes, and 

573
00:29:49,900 --> 00:29:51,400
let's get back to the 
conversation. 

574
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:54,700
Diamond, essentially, is the 
understanding that each of us 

575
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:59,700
here honor is put here for a 
reason and we each have Have 

576
00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:04,600
unique needs and unique gifts, 
and expression of those gifts. 

577
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,900
We each have unique gifts and an
expression of those gifts. 

578
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:13,400
And when we match those, when we
match expressing our gifts, to 

579
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:19,000
meet our own unique, needs that 
creates the spark of affluence 

580
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:23,000
abundance living in passion, 
feeling excitement for your life

581
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:27,000
alignment flow, like all the 
things that freedom. 

582
00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:31,200
And so I mean it's a concept. 
It's like it's a it's a concept 

583
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,200
to strive for but it doesn't 
mean it's like the easy path, 

584
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,700
otherwise, we'd already be 
freaking on the path but it's 

585
00:30:36,700 --> 00:30:39,300
card. 
Sure what what it makes us face 

586
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,200
is everything I faced in my own 
journey of be doing this 

587
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,900
business and even before of like
our own personal staff. 

588
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,200
So if I want to put myself out 
there, right? 

589
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:51,300
I have to face all of my 
internal beliefs about being an 

590
00:30:51,300 --> 00:30:54,600
imposter, or not being good 
enough or being not pretty 

591
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:58,200
enough or not smart enough for 
all the ways that I live with my

592
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:01,200
own shame. 
I I have to face that and I have

593
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:05,200
to face my own trauma in order 
to create an in order to live in

594
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,400
alignment with where it is that 
I want to go and it's not that I

595
00:31:08,408 --> 00:31:13,600
had that I think can even have a
pre like a really clear pin in 

596
00:31:13,608 --> 00:31:15,200
the map of where we're all 
going. 

597
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:19,000
Like we can have ideas and we 
can have like strengths and we 

598
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,500
can have sort of somewhat goals,
right? 

599
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:23,500
Of course, those are important. 
We need to know where we're 

600
00:31:23,500 --> 00:31:25,700
going but it might not be 
completely clear. 

601
00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:28,500
Like you might not know exactly 
what it is that you want to 

602
00:31:28,508 --> 00:31:29,900
create. 
But as Start. 

603
00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:31,100
And this is what I do in my 
program. 

604
00:31:31,100 --> 00:31:34,300
Like, this is such a huge part 
of what I coach through is a is 

605
00:31:34,300 --> 00:31:37,400
helping people to tap in to 
what, feels right. 

606
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,000
Like understanding what. 
Yes. 

607
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,600
Feels like for you and your 
life. 

608
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,200
So that when you have a decision
in front of you, like, does 

609
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,600
going to work every single 
morning, make you feel? 

610
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,800
Yes. 
Does it make you feel excited 

611
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,300
and expanded? 
And like you're in the flow, you

612
00:31:50,300 --> 00:31:52,800
feel like you're just on? 
Is that what it makes you feel 

613
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,100
like? 
Then that's her body saying. 

614
00:31:54,100 --> 00:31:55,600
This is awesome. 
This is for you. 

615
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,400
You're waking up every morning 
like Dread contraction heh. 

616
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:02,800
Heaviness low mood just feeling 
all that negativity. 

617
00:32:02,900 --> 00:32:07,100
That's your body saying no no 
this is not for you so that the 

618
00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:09,600
more we continue to put 
ourselves in know the more I 

619
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:13,200
body is going to respond in a 
way to try to get our attention,

620
00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:15,100
which is where you'll find what 
like you're saying. 

621
00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:17,900
Like the physical manifestations
of our stress, and our pain, and

622
00:32:17,900 --> 00:32:21,000
our emotional repression and all
of that. 

623
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,600
So we don't know. 
I was going with that. 

624
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,700
But we just we were talking 
about these things that you had 

625
00:32:26,700 --> 00:32:29,100
to deal with on your own your 
own issues. 

626
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,500
The things that you had to 
overcome in order to start your 

627
00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:34,500
business and to do the things 
that you're doing. 

628
00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:36,200
I don't know if I'm cash. 
No, you're right. 

629
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:37,900
Yeah. 
That's what I'm hearing. 

630
00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:39,700
Yeah. 
And in order to continue it too 

631
00:32:39,700 --> 00:32:43,400
because every time oh well 
honestly every time it feels 

632
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,700
easy, I'm like, okay I'm gonna 
go with this flow because I know

633
00:32:47,700 --> 00:32:50,300
that something is going to come 
and it's not like a doomsday 

634
00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:53,600
type of perspective. 
It's that I know that there is 

635
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,100
lots within me, still need that 
needs to be healed. 

636
00:32:56,300 --> 00:32:59,800
And so when stuff is triggering 
or stuff is showing up, it's Not

637
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,400
like, oh, here we go again. 
I mean sometimes I might feel 

638
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,600
like that in the moment or 
really, it's an opportunity any 

639
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,500
time. 
So, like if we're hating our 

640
00:33:07,500 --> 00:33:11,500
jobs to start to look at it as 
like, what is being reflected to

641
00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:15,000
me here, like, what is trying to
be revealed that is not in 

642
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,300
alignment with my highest 
purpose, or my passion or like 

643
00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:21,700
why I and here on this earth, 
like do I want to? 

644
00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:23,900
This is an exercise I love doing
with my clients. 

645
00:33:23,900 --> 00:33:27,000
It's a very last one, but it's 
like reflecting on our life and 

646
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:31,200
being like, kind of, do you want
to For grass on your last day. 

647
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,800
Do you want to be laying in that
bed or wherever you are 

648
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,900
thinking? 
Should I do that? 

649
00:33:35,900 --> 00:33:38,400
I should have done this like, 
oh, I had that idea. 

650
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,900
It would have been so fun I 
should have gone with it. 

651
00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:43,300
Like this is this is it like 
this? 

652
00:33:43,300 --> 00:33:46,100
The time is now the time is not 
its history or literature dog. 

653
00:33:46,100 --> 00:33:49,500
Yeah. 
And I really feel that Sandra in

654
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:51,300
the energy right now in our 
world. 

655
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,700
This is the time like this is 
the time if you're feeling a 

656
00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:57,700
spark for anything different, 
this is the time and there are 

657
00:33:57,700 --> 00:34:01,000
people like you and I do So many
others who are out there helping

658
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,800
to support and to guide and to 
help people to navigate what 

659
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,800
that looks like and how to make 
it through all those hurdles. 

660
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:10,100
So yeah, yeah, that is so good, 
man. 

661
00:34:10,100 --> 00:34:12,500
I love that. 
And again everything you just 

662
00:34:12,500 --> 00:34:16,400
said, just really aligns with 
finding what you're passionate 

663
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,900
about quieting, the soul. 
Something that I talk about all 

664
00:34:18,900 --> 00:34:22,400
the time that like a lot of 
nurses describe when they got 

665
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,600
away from the job, they took a 
Hiatus or leave of absence and 

666
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:30,199
they got a loan with themselves.
Then all of a sudden Something 

667
00:34:30,199 --> 00:34:33,100
like came to the surface like 
oh, this would be kind of cool. 

668
00:34:33,100 --> 00:34:35,800
I'm going to start this project 
and then the project like goes 

669
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:39,600
viral and they're like, what? 
Like, and so it's through 

670
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,900
creating margins through 
creating space, through allowing

671
00:34:42,900 --> 00:34:47,199
yourself, to actually hear what 
your heart, and your soul is 

672
00:34:47,199 --> 00:34:51,800
wanting that you're able to find
maybe, or you're describing his 

673
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,100
Dharma. 
I I believe it's your calling in

674
00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:55,500
life. 
I believe it's the thing that 

675
00:34:55,500 --> 00:34:57,600
God has put in your heart that 
you're supposed to be doing. 

676
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:03,200
I just think that In general, we
can plan our steps and that the 

677
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:07,200
Lord directs our paths and so, 
we don't know what that path is.

678
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,700
But if we aren't in tune to, 
we're not in sync, with whatever

679
00:35:10,700 --> 00:35:13,800
it is that you call your higher 
power, then you don't figure out

680
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,300
what you were placed on this 
Earth here to do have very 

681
00:35:16,300 --> 00:35:18,300
specific things that I'm called 
to do that. 

682
00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:21,900
I'm good at and by being afraid 
working on the floor, trying to 

683
00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:25,800
fit in trying to be a square peg
in a round hole or brown peg in 

684
00:35:25,808 --> 00:35:29,200
a square hole, whatever lever 
your issue is but you not doing 

685
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,800
that. 
You were meant to do, you are 

686
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,700
stopping yourself from living 
your life at the fullest and 

687
00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:37,500
that might be scary. 
That might be you having to sit 

688
00:35:37,500 --> 00:35:39,600
alone with yourself. 
Like you said and look and say, 

689
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:41,900
I don't think I'm pretty enough,
I don't think I'm smart enough, 

690
00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:43,500
I don't think I do. 
All the different things, you 

691
00:35:43,508 --> 00:35:48,300
have to process through. 
Do that work, and then move with

692
00:35:48,300 --> 00:35:51,500
intention and move with passion 
towards the thing that you feel 

693
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:55,100
you're being called to do 
because if you look back on your

694
00:35:55,100 --> 00:35:59,000
life, you're going to regret a 
thousand, things more that you 

695
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,700
did in. 
Do the things that you gave it a

696
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:02,800
shot and you failed. 
It's like I gave it a shot 

697
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:03,700
started. 
A podcast. 

698
00:36:03,700 --> 00:36:06,100
It was garbage. 
Nobody lets me. 

699
00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:09,400
At least you can look back and 
not go. 

700
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,700
Wish you would have podcasts in 
tops. 

701
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,400
Yeah, no, no. 
Give it a shot. 

702
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,600
Get out of here, get talking. 
So I love that. 

703
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,800
I love that. 
That's your thing that you had 

704
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,200
to overcome and anybody help you
along the way. 

705
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,800
Have you had any mentors? 
And that's one of the things 

706
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:25,000
that I found in nursing. 
That's lacking is really nurses,

707
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,200
really reaching out to one. 
Another and encouraging one. 

708
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,400
Another, I'm hope to create more
of Conversation of go. 

709
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:31,300
Do you boo? 
Boo. 

710
00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:35,900
But if you don't have somebody 
that's there in your corner, did

711
00:36:35,900 --> 00:36:38,400
you did you did anybody come 
alongside you and your? 

712
00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:39,900
I lost PS. 
I'm nervous. 

713
00:36:39,900 --> 00:36:43,600
Like know that there were people
that I that were helpful but 

714
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:47,200
someone that I, that I would 
call like a mentor as a nurse no

715
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,300
or even like, what I have had 
someone and I didn't, I didn't 

716
00:36:50,300 --> 00:36:53,300
have someone, I could turn to 
when I was really in the weeds 

717
00:36:53,300 --> 00:36:56,500
and really struggling. 
There was like a year period in 

718
00:36:56,500 --> 00:37:00,300
the NICU where we had a lot of 
losses and And some really 

719
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:03,000
tragic stuff. 
And, and, and that's that. 

720
00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:04,600
I mean, it's still is on my 
part. 

721
00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:06,900
I've done a lot of work with it,
but it Stills on my part, I 

722
00:37:06,900 --> 00:37:09,500
don't think it'll ever leave, 
but, but I didn't really have 

723
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:12,700
people, I could turn to. 
And so, I mean, it's a part of 

724
00:37:12,707 --> 00:37:15,000
what I say no to. 
When I'm talking to nurses, 

725
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,900
like, I didn't know where to go.
I didn't know where to turn or 

726
00:37:17,900 --> 00:37:21,800
who to talk to and so I don't 
want anyone else to ever feel 

727
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,300
that way. 
So if you are in that place, 

728
00:37:24,300 --> 00:37:25,900
like they're like, I'm right 
here. 

729
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,100
I'm right here. 
I'm not Makin taken the 

730
00:37:28,100 --> 00:37:30,500
guesswork out for you on. 
Right in front of you, you ask 

731
00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:32,200
for help and here, I'm standing 
right here. 

732
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:35,600
And so same thing with you like 
doing doing this world and doing

733
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,600
the podcast. 
It's like it's yeah, I think 

734
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,700
about mentors. 
Now, as a coach, I've had a lot 

735
00:37:41,700 --> 00:37:44,500
of people come into my life, 
that have been really amazing 

736
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:46,400
teachers and people that I can 
turn to. 

737
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:50,500
And actually, maybe what I 
consider a mentor now is like, 

738
00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:55,000
some of my pure colleagues, who 
are doing similar work, and who 

739
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:59,200
we turn, we turn to each other 
and because we know what we came

740
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,000
for. 
From we know what we're moving 

741
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,800
toward were all somewhat moving 
in a very similar Direction. 

742
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,600
It essentially, to align Our 
Lives, live our passion, and 

743
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,600
live, our Dharma, or whatever 
you want, whatever you want to 

744
00:38:08,607 --> 00:38:11,700
call it. 
And those people it's it's 

745
00:38:11,700 --> 00:38:14,500
really fun to connect with those
people and like we Mentor each 

746
00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:19,100
other because we get it and on 
so many levels and can really 

747
00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:22,100
Inspire each other. 
So I I know that I did a whole 

748
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:23,900
episode, well, it wasn't the 
whole episode. 

749
00:38:23,900 --> 00:38:27,200
I mentorship at a big part of it
was and it's something that's 

750
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,200
needed. 
We need to have, we all need to 

751
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:34,300
have Safe place to turn one more
feeling, all the things, all the

752
00:38:34,300 --> 00:38:37,000
things, the sadness yeahthere 
agreeing. 

753
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:41,500
Yeah, so Sandra, I have two 
questions that I typically do 

754
00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:44,800
not ask, but I wanted to ask 
specifically because of your 

755
00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:48,300
trauma experience. 
And what I believe is been 

756
00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:51,500
probably the most traumatic year
for nurses has been traumatic, 

757
00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:54,400
two years just been trauma. 
Like, it's like, can't even. 

758
00:38:54,700 --> 00:38:56,300
I can't even. 
I don't even watch the news too 

759
00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:57,800
much trauma. 
I can't I can't. 

760
00:38:57,900 --> 00:39:00,900
So what it is. 
One thing that you would tell a 

761
00:39:00,900 --> 00:39:06,000
nurse that she can do today to 
start the healing process for 

762
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000
herself and it could be 
anything. 

763
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,100
I mean, it can trauma literally 
comes from anywhere. 

764
00:39:10,100 --> 00:39:11,500
It could just be a bad job, 
right? 

765
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,200
You have a mean boss. 
You're getting bullied. 

766
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,400
It could be. 
I don't like what I'm doing, I 

767
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,700
don't feel like I'm in my in my 
calling, it could just be like, 

768
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:22,800
I can't handle what's going on 
with being children, right? 

769
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:27,200
Like it's literally coming at us
from every angle and it's one of

770
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,200
those things that I felt like 
here. 

771
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,800
From someone who is trauma, 
trained and is in wellness. 

772
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,400
And for nurses. 
What is something that a nurse 

773
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:40,500
can do today, right now, letting
go of unrealistic expectations? 

774
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,700
Is it something that youth is 
there? 

775
00:39:42,700 --> 00:39:45,600
Like I know there's no quick 
hack, but if there is one thing 

776
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:50,800
that you could just do a flyby 
drive by, this is one thing I 

777
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,500
say do what would you say that 
is? 

778
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,900
It's a huge question and because
you're right, it's not just a 

779
00:39:56,900 --> 00:40:00,800
quick, it's not a quick fix and 
And that's a reality that I 

780
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:05,100
think we have to face is that if
we want to create change, if 

781
00:40:05,100 --> 00:40:07,300
you're struggling, if you're 
waking up in the morning and 

782
00:40:07,300 --> 00:40:11,200
feeling like another day, like 
or at the end of the day, like I

783
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,300
made it, I made it through like,
if that's what you're 

784
00:40:13,300 --> 00:40:16,000
celebrating is, like, who I made
it through another day. 

785
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Like, but I don't know if 
there's, I don't know, there's a

786
00:40:19,008 --> 00:40:21,000
great answer. 
I think what's coming to me is 

787
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:25,300
like each of us, like go look in
the mirror right now and ask 

788
00:40:25,300 --> 00:40:28,800
yourself like is this it like, 
is this how you want to spend 

789
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:32,700
your life? 
Is this it and it takes that 

790
00:40:32,700 --> 00:40:37,600
bold honest truth to sometimes 
slap us into reality of like I 

791
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,200
got to do something different 
here. 

792
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,700
Like I got to do some maybe it's
reaching out to a support 

793
00:40:42,700 --> 00:40:45,700
person, maybe it's talking to 
somebody about what's happening.

794
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,000
Maybe it's starting a meditation
class. 

795
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,300
Maybe it's going to yoga, like, 
it could look different. 

796
00:40:51,700 --> 00:40:54,600
I like to think that people 
listening if you're struggling, 

797
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:56,000
you're looking in the mirror and
you're saying I do. 

798
00:40:56,100 --> 00:40:57,600
This is not what I want. 
Like this. 

799
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,200
I know I'm meant for more, I 
know. 

800
00:40:59,300 --> 00:41:03,000
That my life is meant to feel 
different than you will feel 

801
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,200
comfortable reaching out to me 
and to you. 

802
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,600
And to anybody else out there 
who is putting themselves out 

803
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,900
there saying, it doesn't have to
be like this. 

804
00:41:10,100 --> 00:41:12,500
You don't have to continue. 
I don't believe we were meant to

805
00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:14,600
come here to struggle. 
I think some struggle is 

806
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,500
necessary for us to wake up and 
to see where we need to create 

807
00:41:17,500 --> 00:41:19,500
change. 
But I don't think we're meant to

808
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:23,500
to suffer like I think the 
suffering house just created out

809
00:41:23,500 --> 00:41:26,500
of all of the all of our 
personal trauma are generational

810
00:41:26,500 --> 00:41:29,200
trauma or Collective. 
Our cultural trauma all of it. 

811
00:41:29,500 --> 00:41:33,800
And the fear that has been fed 
into us like spoon-fed. 

812
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:38,800
Some of us from the time we were
born and I just if I could have 

813
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:43,900
one like practical thing would 
be to imagine yourself 10 years 

814
00:41:43,900 --> 00:41:47,500
from now looking back and you 
can even sit and close your eyes

815
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:50,500
and imagine this like. 
So for me I'm turning 40 this 

816
00:41:50,500 --> 00:41:53,200
summer. 
So in 10 years from now I'll be 

817
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,800
turning 50. 
I can imagine myself sitting in 

818
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,100
my recliner chair upstairs, 
which is where I said every 

819
00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:01,000
single evening. 
I got my journal, I got my tea 

820
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,100
and asking that version of you 
10 years from now? 

821
00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:07,000
I mean, I got it. 
I have a 21 year old kid at that

822
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:11,000
point and just imagine what your
life looks like density, you can

823
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:15,500
really put a picture to that 
version of you and ask her, or 

824
00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:19,700
him for some advice for like 
what should I do differently? 

825
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:24,300
Is this is this what we should 
be doing to tap into versions of

826
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:25,900
us? 
Even the exercise that I was 

827
00:42:25,900 --> 00:42:29,100
talking about is, is actually an
80 year old version or 100 

828
00:42:29,100 --> 00:42:31,500
years. 
Your old version of us and ask 

829
00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:35,200
her like what is the advice that
she wants to give to you at this

830
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,100
point in your life? 
Because I tell you she's gonna 

831
00:42:37,100 --> 00:42:40,500
she's got no cheese not going to
dance around your feelings and 

832
00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:42,700
like not want to say the wrong 
thing. 

833
00:42:42,700 --> 00:42:45,300
She's going to tell you how it 
is because she's like, Kate, 

834
00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:48,400
like life doesn't last forever. 
So what do you want to do with 

835
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,000
your life? 
Is this what you want? 

836
00:42:50,100 --> 00:42:51,700
Yes you want to hate. 
Yes. 

837
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,800
Yes I just oh my gosh. 
I think the suffered a lot of 

838
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:58,100
this top start with the truth. 
I think it has to start with 

839
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,900
yourself because You can't 
control what's going on around 

840
00:43:01,900 --> 00:43:03,800
you. 
And I think that's the part that

841
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,900
is getting to be a little 
overwhelming is that people are 

842
00:43:06,900 --> 00:43:09,200
looking around, and they're 
just, like, I can't control 

843
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,600
what's happening around me. 
And again, we never really 

844
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,500
could. 
I think there's this expectation

845
00:43:13,500 --> 00:43:15,000
that we think we can. 
Yeah. 

846
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,500
And I think we're noticing more 
and more that the world is just 

847
00:43:17,500 --> 00:43:21,100
spinning faster, and faster. 
And the only person that you 

848
00:43:21,100 --> 00:43:25,500
have absolutely 100% control 
over is yourself. 

849
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:29,500
And so what I love what you're 
describing is looking At 

850
00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:33,900
yourself in the mirror and 
saying, am I the kind of person 

851
00:43:33,900 --> 00:43:37,100
that I want to be? 
Is this the kind of life that I 

852
00:43:37,100 --> 00:43:39,500
want? 
Because this is all that I can 

853
00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:45,200
control, is what I choose today 
and how I begin to operate out 

854
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:49,200
of this space today and making 
those choices that are going to 

855
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:50,900
be leading me either towards 
that person. 

856
00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:54,000
I want to become or leading me 
away from that person that I 

857
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,800
want to become and I love 
thinking about yourself at the 

858
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:01,800
end because Inning with the end,
in mind, is one of the only 

859
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:05,000
places that you can go to work 
back from. 

860
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:09,200
And it's like, walk working, 
been this, and this is, who's 

861
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,900
the kind of person I want to be?
Who's the kind of what, what is 

862
00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:17,000
the kind of thing I want to be 
doing and then working back from

863
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,800
now. 
How do I get myself there and it

864
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:20,700
really starts? 
Go ahead. 

865
00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:25,900
Thank this is just like 
something like and it's scary so

866
00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:28,800
we can't pretend like you're I 
don't imagine you're going to go

867
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,500
look in the mirror. 
Your and you're going to have 

868
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:32,600
this hard to heart and you're 
probably going to cry and your 

869
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,600
cut probably going to be pissed 
off and you're probably going to

870
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,700
have this like you're probably 
going to be upset if you're not 

871
00:44:37,700 --> 00:44:39,600
living in alignment, and 
probably going to be upset when 

872
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:41,900
you look at yourself and you 
ask, for the honest truth. 

873
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,400
It's true. 
And then when we look forward, 

874
00:44:44,500 --> 00:44:47,200
it's overwhelming. 
It's like okay, I'm in this 

875
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,600
space right now. 
How do I change it? 

876
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,100
Where do I go? 
What do I do? 

877
00:44:51,100 --> 00:44:54,400
And the fear and the over the 
shame and everything, it just 

878
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,900
comes this, huge Cloud. 
That becomes over you, and 

879
00:44:57,900 --> 00:44:59,100
that's where you need to find 
sir. 

880
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,300
Support. 
Because I cannot tell you, I 

881
00:45:01,300 --> 00:45:04,300
didn't, I didn't do this journey
on my own. 

882
00:45:04,300 --> 00:45:08,800
I the, the day that I spoke, my 
truth to myself, and I admitted 

883
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,200
it allowed to somebody else who 
held space for me and just 

884
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,200
allowed me to speak it. 
And I was just like, I don't, I 

885
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:18,600
don't like my life, like, I have
everything that I thought I 

886
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:20,900
wanted. 
I have a whole, I have children.

887
00:45:20,900 --> 00:45:23,200
I have a husband. 
I have I have a good job at 

888
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:27,900
everything that I was told I 
needed to have to have a good 

889
00:45:27,900 --> 00:45:31,100
life and I feel like Everyday. 
I feel miserable. 

890
00:45:31,100 --> 00:45:33,200
I wanted to run. 
I wanted to leave. 

891
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:37,200
My family is how awful I felt 
inside because I was desperate 

892
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:40,600
for something to change and so 
when I spoke that out loud, it 

893
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:44,400
just allowed it allowed me to 
look like breathe for the first 

894
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,900
time in a long time. 
And it opened the door and 

895
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,500
because all it takes is one 
degree shift and you can open up

896
00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:54,100
to a whole new world. 
So don't expect that everything 

897
00:45:54,100 --> 00:45:56,300
is going to be laid out. 
Like as soon as you become 

898
00:45:56,300 --> 00:45:59,100
honest, that it's just going to 
start laying out a steps. 

899
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,600
Fect, the other where you you 
you still are going to have to 

900
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,100
go through it, but that's where 
you, you need. 

901
00:46:04,100 --> 00:46:07,500
Every single one of us needs to 
have people in our Corner, 

902
00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:10,700
people who are maybe a step 
ahead or people that can link 

903
00:46:10,700 --> 00:46:12,600
arms with us to help us along 
the way. 

904
00:46:12,700 --> 00:46:15,900
Support is essential, we are 
wired, literally wired our 

905
00:46:15,900 --> 00:46:19,700
nervous systems are wired for 
connection connection community 

906
00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:24,700
and Community yet since like, we
need each other and your SEO 

907
00:46:24,700 --> 00:46:27,600
that you might off. 
So small and insignificant can 

908
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:31,700
become something that Just 
lights your soul on fire and 

909
00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:35,300
opens your heart, and creates a 
life where you are living with 

910
00:46:35,300 --> 00:46:37,200
no regrets. 
And that's the hard part. 

911
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,800
It's just the first step is been
so, and I think that Community 

912
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,900
aspect, I think nurses have have
lied to pretend that we could be

913
00:46:44,900 --> 00:46:47,000
lone Islands. 
We like to pretend that. 

914
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,400
Oh, I got my patients, five 
patients. 

915
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:53,100
And it's really like, no. 
I have hopefully a whole floor 

916
00:46:53,100 --> 00:46:55,900
of nurses that like all walk 
around in our like, Haiti need 

917
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:56,900
help. 
How can I help you? 

918
00:46:56,900 --> 00:46:59,200
Where can I come in? 
And I knew that I needed. 

919
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,800
I needed that stuff and that I 
needed somebody walking around 

920
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:03,400
checking on me. 
And then I need you to go be 

921
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,900
that person to others. 
And I feel like in society, 

922
00:47:06,900 --> 00:47:11,100
especially now with so much 
division over vaccine, don't 

923
00:47:11,100 --> 00:47:14,900
vote, get away, stay socially 
distance, get close. 

924
00:47:14,900 --> 00:47:18,700
Nope, Gotta Get Far. 
Nope, we all quit everybody. 

925
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,400
It's just like everything is 
being so polarized and what it's

926
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:26,200
really causing is a lack of 
community for individual, 

927
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:30,100
specially for nurses, but just 
as a country, as a The nation as

928
00:47:30,100 --> 00:47:34,000
a global entity. 
We are not moving towards each 

929
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:38,100
other and yet, we need each 
other and there is nothing wrong

930
00:47:38,300 --> 00:47:41,300
with saying. 
I need friends. 

931
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:46,100
I need Community. 
I need people in my life. 

932
00:47:46,100 --> 00:47:48,200
There is nothing wrong with 
that. 

933
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:53,500
We are made from the time that 
we are born to need someone. 

934
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:57,100
And it actually makes me a 
little emotional because I don't

935
00:47:57,100 --> 00:47:59,100
think someone saying this I 
don't think. 

936
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:04,100
People are saying we need other 
people, you know and like they 

937
00:48:04,100 --> 00:48:07,500
showed like people that were in 
nursing homes at their family 

938
00:48:07,500 --> 00:48:10,900
stopped visiting them. 
And how much they age in just a 

939
00:48:10,900 --> 00:48:13,200
short period of time. 
I've seen those videos and it's 

940
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:18,400
like she's withdrawing Community
actually ages us. 

941
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:22,000
It actually starts to degrade 
our souls and our cells in our 

942
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,400
body. 
I love what you said and I want 

943
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,400
to really just sit on that for a
second that you need people. 

944
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:31,800
You mean, The support. 
You need people to get in the 

945
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:35,400
trenches with you because news 
flash were all in the trenches, 

946
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,300
just some other phase, kind of 
like what you said like. 

947
00:48:38,300 --> 00:48:41,700
Okay, so, I'm not getting bombed
today, but Bob's cooked were 

948
00:48:41,700 --> 00:48:44,100
over the last question of the 
podcast as I could literally 

949
00:48:44,100 --> 00:48:46,300
talk about that all day. 
What advice do you have for new 

950
00:48:46,300 --> 00:48:49,100
nurse starting off from your 
career that you wish? 

951
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,200
You would have heard in the 
beginning of your career? 

952
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,900
If you could go back and give 
yourself Sandra a little Sandra,

953
00:48:53,900 --> 00:48:55,300
which by the way, what's your 
middle name? 

954
00:48:55,300 --> 00:48:58,200
Because like, that's kind of 
like give a middle name Eileen. 

955
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:02,100
Eileen. 
Okay, I'm Yvette Yvette. 

956
00:49:02,100 --> 00:49:04,000
So I think it's always 
interesting like to hear 

957
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,900
someone's middle name whenever 
they have my first thing first. 

958
00:49:06,900 --> 00:49:09,200
Okay, anyway, so what is 
something that you would go back

959
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,600
to little Sandra? 
She's starting off in a career 

960
00:49:11,900 --> 00:49:14,600
and I think you started your 
career 25 feel like I listen to 

961
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:16,400
a podcast episode. 
That's you said something about 

962
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:17,700
that or I watch the Youtube 
video. 

963
00:49:17,700 --> 00:49:19,000
Yeah. 
That at 25. 

964
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,000
The you started your brand new 
career that you could go back 

965
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,600
and tell her as you're 
approaching 40. 

966
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,500
You're like this is what's up 
sister, don't forget it. 

967
00:49:25,500 --> 00:49:29,000
A piece of advice to toss and a 
piece of advice to hold on to 

968
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,200
Yeah. 
Oh that's an interesting way of 

969
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,000
putting it. 
I was just thinking of like if I

970
00:49:33,008 --> 00:49:36,700
were to say to that younger 
version is like this is all 

971
00:49:36,700 --> 00:49:39,700
happening for a reason because I
don't I wouldn't be able to do 

972
00:49:39,700 --> 00:49:42,800
the work I do today. 
I don't know what I'd be doing 

973
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,700
because nursing paved the way 
for that. 

974
00:49:44,700 --> 00:49:50,800
So as much as it took from me 
and was hard and hurt me on like

975
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:55,500
a mental emotional and physical 
level, it gave me the experience

976
00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:59,200
and it gave me the way that I am
able to connect with other ER 

977
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:03,200
nurses now and I don't I don't 
need to continue for my own 

978
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:05,200
personal journey. 
I don't need to continue in 

979
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:08,900
nursing because I think that was
what was meant for me out of it.

980
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:13,000
I do. 
I feel so fully just so deeply 

981
00:50:13,100 --> 00:50:16,200
believes that this is this is 
the path for me and I don't know

982
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:17,700
what it's going to look like 
over the years. 

983
00:50:17,700 --> 00:50:21,300
It'll evolve and change for sure
as the world evolves and change 

984
00:50:21,300 --> 00:50:25,500
and as I do but I would tell her
that, it's okay. 

985
00:50:25,500 --> 00:50:28,700
But if I were to give advice 
like Mike because I used to end 

986
00:50:28,700 --> 00:50:31,900
Resort, As because I think had, 
I had someone ask me that I need

987
00:50:31,900 --> 00:50:34,300
a couple years ago. 
I invited said like jokingly 

988
00:50:34,300 --> 00:50:36,600
like, don't do it. 
Like it's brutal. 

989
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:39,300
Why would you put yourself? 
I think of new nurse is coming 

990
00:50:39,300 --> 00:50:41,600
in and I'm like, why would you, 
why would you come into this 

991
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:45,100
profession at this time? 
Like it's it's so toxic there's 

992
00:50:45,100 --> 00:50:49,000
like, it's falling apart and 
people are dropping off like 

993
00:50:49,300 --> 00:50:53,600
nass numbers and but I look at 
it now and I'm like, no, I 

994
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,600
needed to do this. 
This was a part of my story and 

995
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,700
soul but for new nurses coming 
in. 

996
00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:03,100
I was I want you to hear this. 
So super clear, find Community 

997
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:07,500
find support because it is hard 
and it does take a lot from you 

998
00:51:07,500 --> 00:51:10,800
and they don't prepare us for it
in school. 

999
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,400
They don't talk about moral 
injury, they don't talk about 

1000
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,000
trauma. 
They don't talk about what we 

1001
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,300
need in order to thrive in this 
profession. 

1002
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:21,500
Not to survive, which is what 
I've Chris, antley, and changing

1003
00:51:21,500 --> 00:51:23,800
my Facebook group, which is 
called surviving nursing. 

1004
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:27,300
But I'm changing it to thriving 
in nursing because I don't want 

1005
00:51:27,300 --> 00:51:30,400
people to merely just survive. 
If you're choosing this 

1006
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:34,000
profession and you're choosing 
to stay on this sinking ship. 

1007
00:51:34,100 --> 00:51:37,400
I want you to be able to thrive 
and that requires us to do the 

1008
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,500
inner work and to have support 
and Community like you're 

1009
00:51:40,500 --> 00:51:44,700
talking about, it's essential 
and a safe Community to not just

1010
00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:47,400
anybody. 
It needs to feel safe for us. 

1011
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:51,100
So all the new nurses and 
honestly any nurse that's out 

1012
00:51:51,100 --> 00:51:55,100
there, it's like, find your 
tribe and find people that can 

1013
00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:59,000
be there for you and can can 
guide you and help you heal. 

1014
00:51:59,100 --> 00:52:02,600
He'll and become the fullest 
version of yourself because this

1015
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:04,000
is our shot. 
This is it. 

1016
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:07,200
Like, even if you believe in 
reincarnation and we're going to

1017
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:11,200
come back and get another spin. 
This is your chance in this, in 

1018
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,500
this life. 
Like this is my only shot at 

1019
00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:15,900
Sandra pain. 
So I really want to make the 

1020
00:52:15,900 --> 00:52:18,100
best of it. 
I don't want to waste it. 

1021
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:19,000
I don't go. 
Where is it? 

1022
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:20,300
Yeah. 
They don't go home. 

1023
00:52:20,300 --> 00:52:21,800
Exactly. 
And it's not that it's not 

1024
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,800
scary, like there's risk 
involved. 

1025
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:26,300
There's facing really hard 
choices. 

1026
00:52:26,300 --> 00:52:28,800
It's it is scary. 
I mean I've made even though the

1027
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:33,200
love A few miles like some 
really scary decisions that have

1028
00:52:33,300 --> 00:52:36,300
turned in really, really 
difficult ways that I've had to 

1029
00:52:36,300 --> 00:52:40,200
face some really awful stuff. 
But through it all like my the 

1030
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:43,100
work I've been doing on myself 
and everything that I've learned

1031
00:52:43,100 --> 00:52:46,600
over the years, has helped me to
weather this storm that I most 

1032
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:49,200
recently had gone through. 
It was like, I know that this is

1033
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,600
happening for a reason. 
I know that I'm going to learn 

1034
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,900
something on at this. 
I know it's going to evolve into

1035
00:52:53,900 --> 00:52:57,400
the greatest thing. 
So I have to just be here at 

1036
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:00,400
sit, in the muck of it because 
it Flocking for a reason. 

1037
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,600
So anyways, I know I could 
totally go on to that love the 

1038
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,900
whole these thing. 
If you're a nurse that you're 

1039
00:53:05,900 --> 00:53:09,400
like, okay wait he's these 
ladies are talking and like 

1040
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:12,200
they've had time and they've 
done the work and they process 

1041
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:16,000
through everything and they're 
being bold eyes that like we 

1042
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:19,400
didn't start here. 
Like both of us started 

1043
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:23,500
someplace else and it was 
through being in your spot right

1044
00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:27,800
where you are right now today 
that we made a choice and we 

1045
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,200
decided we were going to You 
something different. 

1046
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:34,100
When you get to that spot of 
it's time to change. 

1047
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:38,100
Then you begin to start to move 
the rudder on a very, very big 

1048
00:53:38,100 --> 00:53:41,100
ship and that begins to change 
your life. 

1049
00:53:41,100 --> 00:53:44,900
And so I wanted to be 
encouraging, like here that we 

1050
00:53:44,900 --> 00:53:47,700
were there. 
All of us are in that spot that 

1051
00:53:47,700 --> 00:53:50,600
you're in right there. 
And then we decided we're going 

1052
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:53,300
to choose different today. 
We're not going to choose to 

1053
00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:54,900
just get up and do the same 
thing again. 

1054
00:53:54,900 --> 00:53:58,600
We're going to choose different 
and so, yeah, I love that. 

1055
00:53:59,100 --> 00:54:02,500
I love that word picture of just
pivoting and just going up. 

1056
00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:04,400
I'm not choosing that today. 
One degree. 

1057
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,400
You do this direction and just 
wanted a great degree that's 

1058
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:09,700
that's it. 
It it opens that if you can 

1059
00:54:09,700 --> 00:54:13,500
imagine that ship right, you 
turn that Rudder just a little 

1060
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:16,500
bit, it's going in a whole 
different direction and so it 

1061
00:54:16,500 --> 00:54:18,900
doesn't mean exactly everything 
at once. 

1062
00:54:18,900 --> 00:54:22,900
I do this visualization called I
just call it the journey through

1063
00:54:22,900 --> 00:54:26,000
the canyon of Hope. 
And I am, and I Envision people 

1064
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:30,300
at the edge and this is that 
edge where Like you're looking 

1065
00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:32,400
in the mirror and you're saying,
like, I don't, this is not what 

1066
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,800
I want anymore. 
I want to do something different

1067
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:37,800
and you look out and it's like 
this steep scary Canyon and it's

1068
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,700
overwhelming, you're like I 
don't know how I'm going to get 

1069
00:54:39,700 --> 00:54:40,900
through all this. 
I don't even know where I'm 

1070
00:54:40,900 --> 00:54:44,200
going but I know how to get 
there or even like any of it, 

1071
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:45,500
it's overwhelming and it's 
scary. 

1072
00:54:45,500 --> 00:54:47,700
And I get that because I've been
there, like, I've been on 

1073
00:54:47,700 --> 00:54:51,400
glitter alleges in my life, 
wanting to end a life. 

1074
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:55,100
Like, I have been there. 
And I'm here to say that, it's 

1075
00:54:55,100 --> 00:54:58,900
not like it's about the journey,
it's not the destination. 

1076
00:54:59,100 --> 00:55:03,900
Because I've wouldn't have been 
able to say six years ago where 

1077
00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:06,300
I was going. 
When I first started, when I 

1078
00:55:06,300 --> 00:55:09,700
first decided I'm doing 
something different like so 

1079
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:12,500
maybe I was going out so I first
it was like this degree, then 

1080
00:55:12,500 --> 00:55:16,000
this degree and now it's like a 
complete 180 where I'm not even 

1081
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:19,000
going on, fraction of like 
experiencing the kind of 

1082
00:55:19,300 --> 00:55:22,300
depression and emotional 
overwhelm and the shame that I 

1083
00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:25,700
used to go through, it's like 
everything has shifted but it's 

1084
00:55:25,700 --> 00:55:28,900
taken me to pull one degree 
shift over time. 

1085
00:55:29,100 --> 00:55:33,700
So yeah, it's so good Sandra. 
I think would like well that 

1086
00:55:33,700 --> 00:55:35,700
people in is this hopelessness, 
right? 

1087
00:55:35,700 --> 00:55:38,600
Like and that's why I called the
journey through the canyon of 

1088
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:42,800
Hope because when you feel a 
spark of hope and that's what I 

1089
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:47,800
hoped, that's what I hope to be 
for people is like, if I can do 

1090
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:51,400
it, I'm no different than you. 
If I can do it you can do it. 

1091
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:54,300
Like, I'm not here and you're 
not here sharing our stories to 

1092
00:55:54,500 --> 00:55:57,000
to say like I'm special and 
unique. 

1093
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,500
And you have to suffer and I 
don't I'm saying if I can do it.

1094
00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:03,800
So can you like, that's the 
whole pants to inspired the 

1095
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:05,700
belief that it's possible for 
you? 

1096
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:08,800
This has been an amazing 
conversation and for the last 

1097
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:13,000
part of the episode is the first
and they're just three really 

1098
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:14,800
fast questions that. 
I don't let people prepare 

1099
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,800
prepare for to you. 
What's the best age to be? 

1100
00:56:18,100 --> 00:56:21,700
The best age is right now. 
Admit room is gonna be better 

1101
00:56:21,700 --> 00:56:23,500
than I do. 
I love it. 

1102
00:56:23,500 --> 00:56:26,400
And what's your favorite board 
game right now? 

1103
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:30,500
I kind of dig clue. 
Tell me what your favorite color

1104
00:56:30,500 --> 00:56:32,800
is purple. 
Purple. 

1105
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,300
That's where he delivered 
website. 

1106
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:36,400
Just did it again it. 
Got it. 

1107
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:38,700
Alright. 
Well that's it for the podcast. 

1108
00:56:38,700 --> 00:56:40,700
Thanks for coming on and 
chatting Cedar. 

1109
00:56:40,700 --> 00:56:43,200
It was such a good time. 
Thank you so much. 

1110
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,600
And I thank you for just 
bringing this conversation to 

1111
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,300
the world. 
I think it's so important. 

1112
00:56:53,900 --> 00:56:57,200
So that's a wrap, be sure to 
subscribe to the show so you 

1113
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:59,800
don't miss an episode and leave 
me a review. 

1114
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:02,600
If you like the show, I would 
love to get 5 stars. 

1115
00:57:02,700 --> 00:57:06,200
The doctors podcast is all in 
the world, wide web, YouTube 

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Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, 
patreon, and Tick-Tock subscribe

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to my newsletter for updates on 
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information to help you on your 
own nursing Journey. 

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You can always message me at the
doctor nurse podcast at 

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gmail.com with any career 
professions that you're 

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interested in. 
In hearing about and just a 

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friendly. 
Reminder, the information on 

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this podcast is for educational 
purposes only and the 

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information should not be used 
in substitute for Professional 

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Care by a medical provider. 
The information in this podcast 

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does not represent medical or 
professional advice or services.

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Jean mom back.